Aug 282016
 

Dorr SilkerWhen Shevibe asked me to review something from a new brand, the Dorr Silker was the design that caught my eye the most. I love g-spot vibrators that have a swooping curve, but straight styles never do anything for me.  When I heard that the Silker would be priced under $100, I had to check it out! As you’ll read, there are some cons but a lot of pros and overall I’m a fan of the Silker. There’s a few things giving me pause, though.

 

Reservation for One – The Reasons I’m Torn on the Dorr Silker

You might be asking, as I was, “Who the hell is Dorr? And don’t some of those vibrators look familiar?” Indeed, they do. I’ve seen a few companies making this wand 1. This mini vibrator from NS Novelties is also being manufactured by the company behind Dorr2 – in the brochure that came with my Silker they talk about a mini vibe called the Foxy (shown in the photo below), but the Foxy isn’t on the Dorr website anymore. Instead they’re being sold by NS Novelties as part of their Luxe line. The designs (NS Luxe vs Dorr Foxy) are utterly identical – but are the motors? I’m not sure. Anyways, according to the company info, Dorr is based in Los Angeles but as with 90% of the vibrators on the market, their vibes are manufactured in China because that’s just how it is. The company does offer a warranty, 3 years, which took a little digging for me to find.

Dorr Silker brochure

All of this is really to say that I’m undecided on how I feel about the company/brand as a whole. I haven’t heard of any problems and nothing really strikes me suspicious, but I also don’t feel quite as good about them as I do L’amourose. I think at this point this is more of a gut feeling mixed with caution because they’re new and the designs feel more “white label” 3  than the things L’amourose is doing.

Dorr Silker metal plateThe Silker doesn’t seem to be cheaply made – in fact, unlike that similar wand up above, the decorative plate on the Silker (and all the Dorr products with said plate) is metal. Hard, shiny metal4. This means there’s no metallic paint to chip off. Of course, the metal plate serves no purpose, which means I don’t like it. Without it the Silker would be easier to clean; with it there is now a big groove to collect gunk.

And finally, the charging cable is proprietary which is becoming a new pet peeve of mine. Granted, the L’amourose chargers are proprietary, too. When a company makes a sex toy I can charge with the same cable I use to charge my phone, I’m happy. I hate having to dig up a specific cable just to charge a vibrator and it’s led to me allowing favorite vibes to die and wait weeks for a charge.

Lost in Translation

As I was photographing the “boring bits” (charger, box, brochure) I think I may have stumbled upon one aspect that makes me narrow my eyes and get a little picky. The brochure, and yes I’m going to keep calling it that even though they call it the User Manual, tells me nothing of value. It tells me about their other products. It mentions a warranty, but no specifics. The box itself talks about 6 patterns – I counted 5. The box also talks about a “turbo speed vibration mode”, yet the neither box nor brochure tell me how to access this Turbo Mode. I have tried pushing multiple buttons at once; I have tried pushing and holding the + button. I’ve tried holding the ~ (the button to access patterns). I have tried recanting spells. Nothing I’m doing is working and if me, someone who can usually figure out a vibrator without resorting to the manual, cannot find it….maybe it just doesn’t exist. Maybe the highest vibration setting is what they’re calling Turbo Mode just to have another talking point? When the company emailed me to ask me to review more of their line, they also brought up this Turbo mode and said it can be accessed via pressing and holding the “mode” (the ~ button?) button. No. Nothing happens.

It shouldn’t be this hard to figure out.

Dorr Silker - Back of the Box Dorr Silker charger

But the Good Bits! There are Good Bits!

Dorr Silker vs L'amourose Denia and Prism VOkay so here was the surprising thing: The motor on the Dorr Silker is identical to the L’amourose Prism V, and you know how much I love that vibrator. Identical. Even the patterns are nearly identical – 5 patterns like the Prism V, just in a different order. The noise level is identical, too. The pitch is identical. The buttons are located in the same place on each vibrator, so they’re in a convenient location. But the buttons on the Dorr Silker are a little more obvious – the button surface area is bigger, the “engraved” design into the silicone is a little more obvious under your thumb and here’s a surprising difference – the Dorr Silker buttons take less effort to press. Not too much less – not enough so that it’s too easy to accidentally change a setting or turn it on or off – but enough so that people with arthritis or grip issue would appreciate the Dorr Silker more. Like the Prism, Silker is waterproof.

The differences in design are subtle between the Prism V and the Silker – the swoop on the Prism V is just a little more pronounced, the neck is thinner and the head has less circumference. In fact the head of the Silker is a more closely related to the head on the Rosa in terms of size. The silicone on each vibrator is nearly identical, but I think the Silker has just a bit more drag (not much, barely noticeable) than the Prism V.

Aesthetically, I prefer the Prism V. I like how it can stand up on its own (no, the Silker can’t). I like the design, I like the color offerings better. On days where girth is not my friend I really appreciate the thinner neck on the Prism V and the subtle difference in degree of swoop means that the Prism V just feels a little more intense, a little more swoon-y, on my G-spot. If you want a bit more of a fuller feeling than the Prism V’s measurements but need the rigidity that the Rosa lacks, the Dorr Silker might be the right choice for you. Also? It’s $20 less than the Prism V.  If you favor cost over aesthetics or my gut feeling on a brand, go for the Dorr Silker.

The Dorr Line

I feel confident in telling you that the motor on the Iora (at least the internal arm) would be the same as the Silker, but I’m not ready to give blanket approval to the rest of the line. The blandly-shaped Aura would also probably have the same motor as the Silker, but why the fuck did they extend the metal plate so far up? Now it will be touching genitals and gather even more vag gunk. Their remote-controlled egg might have promise – the remote can also be a standalone vibrator (why?) which means it might tell the remote-holder what the egg-wearer is feeling, which I think is a crucial ingredient in the recipe for a good remote-controlled vibrator.

In the end, there’s a lot of good things to like about the Dorr Silker. A lot. If I didn’t have the Prism V to compare it to, I think I’d like it more. The cons aren’t very bad things. The Silker is like that FWB that is great in bed and great on paper but a few little things are preventing you from making the change to Significant Other. Maybe you can’t quite put your finger on why they make your vag sing but not your heart. Maybe they sometimes say weird shit. Whatever, you’ll keep coming back for the sex. I keep using the Silker, more than is necessary to get a review done and out the dorr5 and I can see myself using it more  – when the Prism V needs to be charged, for example.

 

Shevibe sent me the Dorr Silker in exchange for my very honest review. Curious about this? Read more about my blogger disclosures on sex toy reviews.

  1. The twin Lovehoney wand (whether it’s the 50SOG one I linked above or their Desire wand) has a plastic plate instead of a metal plate and different charging ports, and the motor may be a bit different but visually they’re identical
  2. See what I did there?
  3. What a white label (OEM) brand is: They have a name, they have a business but they don’t want to design sex toys. They want to pick them out of a book and say “okay, we’ll carry that” and then they pick the colors, etc. It’s much like the “store brand” foods at the grocery store – same ingredients from grocery store to store and probably all made at the same plant, but they get the grocery store brand slapped on the label. With white label brands you can find 10 different silicone-covered wand vibrators that all look nearly identical but have different motors. Maybe one brand wanted to go cheaper in the manufacturing and chose the buzzy, weak motor and another brand was willing to pay more for the rumbly, fairly powerful motor (as an example).
  4. Which they say is a “zinc alloy”
  5. Ha. I kill me
Aug 212016
 

Tenga Iroha Kushi vibratorThe Tenga Iroha Kushi is many things. Cute. Pinpoint. Soft. Plush. Rumbly. Powerful. Is it any wonder that I immediately fell in love with the Iroha Kushi and simultaneously cursed myself for having given away, years ago, my Iroha Midori? The Midori wasn’t for me; it wasn’t very rumbly and I didn’t feel it was powerful enough, nor was the squishy bits in the right place for me (or a necessary feature for me). But now I wish I had it for comparion sake because I felt so blown away by the power and rumble of the the Tenga Iroha Kushi – shocked, in fact! My contact at Tenga confirmed though that the Iroha+ line improved upon the originals with a waterproof design and a better, more powerful motor.

When you first look at the Iroha+ line, the Kushi, Yoru and Tori all have a very Japanese aesthetic, and look nothing like you’d imagine a vibrator looking but also leave you really unsure on where the motor might lie. And that’s a really important thing to know when you have vibrators that seem to have a heavy lean towards how they look vs how they may work. But unlike some brands that go for an artistic look and fail in execution I’m so far really impressed with the Tenga Iroha+ line; I’ve only tried the Kushi and Yoru but read many glowing reviews on the adorable red bird, the Tori (and now I want a Tori to round out my collection).

Ruffles Has Ridges

I was really worried about the ridges on the  Tenga Iroha Kushi, if I’m honest. I thought they’d be a deal breaker. I knew that the Iroha line has a unique silicone skin that feels like literally nothing else on the market, and that the ridges would still be pliable, but I dislike ridge texture on my sex toys and really hate anything that makes my sex toys harder to clean. Let’s face it, I’m pretty lazy. I don’t want to need more than my sex toy wipes or a quick rinse under the faucet to clean up a toy. But given the way I used the Kushi I didn’t get a lot of fluids into the deeper portion of the ridges so while clean-up was sometimes more effort than I wanted it to be, it wasn’t horrible. I think that they could have achieved the same visual appeal without such pronounced ridges. The way I use the Kushi meant that I never felt the ridges. Although I guess that when I use it whilst holding it (versus my other more lazy method described further down) the ridges did make it easier to grip, so there’s that….

Tenga Iroha Kushi is Smooshy. Squishy!

A lot of people dislike using hard vibrators, and even most small silicone vibrators are hard – they just have a silicone skin over a hard plastic body. So the entire Tenga Iroha line has really been something amazing for many folks who need to try a little tenderness. But the Tenga Iroha Kushi, and really all of the Iroha+ line, have been the first to impress me with squish AND power.

Imagine you have a soft, new piece of posterputty. Maybe Plah-doh. That’s what squeezing the tip of the Iroha Kushi is like. It’s pliable, soft, and moves with you when you use the tip to rub around the clitoris. There’s squish at the top of the “dome”, where the ridges are the most intense. There’s squish around the edges at the bottom, on what I’ll call the “front” portion, which is closer to the tiny tip. But it’s not a big vibrating marshmallow and can you press in with fingers and feel the hard inner bits. I haven’t been able to discern this when my vulva and clitoris are in contact with the vibrator. I could apply pressure and didn’t feel like the softness impeded anything or dampened the vibrations. BIG PLUS.

Impressive Vibrations

One test for me is whether or not I can nestle a vibrator in between my outer labia whilst sitting at my computer (my usual time and place for masturbation) and still love it. This positioning often dampens the vibrations of lesser species because of all the flesh surrounding the sex toy. With the Tenga Iroha Kushi I can situate it so that the tip is against my most sensitive spot and the rest of the body is hitting the area around my clitoris – so it’s kind of a combination of pinpoint with slightly-broad stimulation? And it works so fabulously well. The vibrations are not the most rumbly out there and I do detect a nuance of buzz at the upper levels but it’s not enough to bother me (and I feel like I have my buzzdar pretty well honed by now). However I still am gonna classify the Iroha+ line as rumbly and a great improvement over all other Iroha products. Good job, Tenga! It’s also super quiet – in the video above I turned it on during the last few moments and it’s pretty hard to hear the motor.

The motor really seems to be focused in the tip, and I didn’t get as much intense power if I tried using the ridged broad top of the Kushi as I did when I used the tip – but it’s still a nice amount of power there. And because the tip is so pinpoint, the vibrations feel more concentrated and for my clitoris this was a big win – I could target that one little spot on the right and orgasms were effortless and fairly intense. Another thing I love: with the motor so close to that tip, I don’t feel much vibration at the back end where I hold it, so it won’t make your fingers itchy with extended use.

Easy Charging and Storage

Tenga Iroha Kushi Terrarium ClocheLike with all of the soft Iroha line, the charger is part of the storage box – magnetic, easy and foolproof. The very sturdy thick plastic box has a clear top and a black bottom which I really wish I could paint a shade of blue or something. I feel like you could stick a few beachy things inside the storage case and make like it’s a little ….. well…. beach terrarium except without living things? As you can see from a photo I shot months ago, the Kushi blends in well with seashore themed things and when I posted the photo on Twitter a lot of people didn’t know where the vibrator was. So yeah I felt compelled to terrarium it up here.

I should note that at this point in the review I was looking for a word that better described a decorative display of little things under a glass dome, and someone suggested terrarium and I’m like no that’s really about plants and stuff right? and then I lost two hours on Etsy looking at the adorbs terrariums out there and imagined filling my house with them because maybe those I can’t kill? I’m fawning over these terrariums with miniature landscapes, these more modern air plant terrariums, and more. Someone rescue me.  Or make me a deep forest terrarium that I can insert this into and I’ll be happy.

BACK TO THE REVIEW Y’ALL.

Please note: the black portion of the case is the charging base and it can be charged with the lid on. Contrary to the vague descriptions the manufacturer makes in their copy, the charging base does need to be plugged in, it’s not like it’s got a battery in it that you can charge up like an external phone power pack or something. But man, wouldn’t that be really cool if it did?!?!

Here’s the long and short of it: I really love the Tenga Iroha Kushi. It’s not Tango powerful, but it’s still enough for me. It’s nice to hold, it’s adorable to look at and therefore super discreet. It’s waterproof so cleaning is easy. I’m digging the vibrations, the placement of the motor and how easy it is to use. I’d say the only thing I don’t love is the price: $129 currently at SheVibe.com. But it’s a quality product from a reputable company and I really feel good about telling you to buy this.

Tenga sent me this amazing lil vibrator in exchange for my very honest review. You can purchase the Tenga Iroha Kushi from my favorite retailer, Shevibe.com. I’ll be reviewing the more oddly-shaped Yoru soon, but will tell you now I don’t love it nearly as much as I love the Kushi.

 

 Posted by at 12:05 pm
Jul 192016
 

Satisfyer Pro 2 review

Update 7/21/16: A few things about this review are going to be irrelevant, so please see the expanded update at the end.

I need to start off by saying that I’m a bit reluctant to like and recommend the Satisfyer Pro 2.  And no, it’s not because of the y-instead-of-i cutesy spelling that reminds me of that sex toy store we won’t talk about anymore. It’s because I find rip-off designs to be problematic. It’s because I think epi24 has a patent pending on the Womanizer and if they’ve patented “pulsating air” coming out of a silicone nozzle focused on a clitoris, then the company who makes Satisfyer is going to be in deep shit. It’s also because the Satisfyer Pro 2 is a fraction of the price and is waterproof, unlike the Womanizer. I have maintained in each review of the Womanizer that the price is way too fucking high. But the Satisfyer Pro 2 is $60 whereas the Womanizer W500 (also sometimes called the “Pro” version) is $220 at SheVibe, and the W100 is $160. Satisfyer has made every effort to be like the Womanizer, right down to a cutesy name, a removable silicone head with a cone nozzle and the “touchless” aspect. So the drastic difference in price has me skeptical, yet unsure at this point who to direct this skepticism at – is the Womanizer trying to empty our bank accounts, whereas the Satisfyer is much more accurately and reasonably priced? Or is the Satisfyer Pro 2 so affordable that one has to wonder what the catch is? Where is the Satisfyer Pro? If there’s not a 1, why is there a 2? Was there a non-Pro version? Who is this Pro – the user it’s marketed towards, or the device itself? Am I really this jaded? All valid questions, folks. 

Is the Satisfyer Pro 2 a copy cat of the Womanizer?

Satisfyer Pro 2 head vs Womanizer W500 headYes, this is identical “technology” to the Womanizer, but it lacks a little finesse in the end result. The Womanizer W100 has only 5 speeds but lets you push the power button to quickly return to the lowest speed if you need to take a little break in the intensity to slow down your orgasm that is potentially hurtling towards you like an out-of-control 18-wheeler coming down the mountain with failing brakes. The Womanizer W500 has a plus and minus button to explore the various settings. Yes, I hate the placement of said buttons on the W500, but at least the easier option is there. With the Satisfyer Pro 2 you have to cycle through 11 settings and then go backwards through those settings. I do not fucking have time or patience to cycle through 11 1 settings. And oddly the “lower” settings feel more intense to me because when you make the pulsating air faster instead of slow/punchy, the upper levels just start to feel like kinda-buzzy vibration. I dislike the upper few levels, yet I’m forced to experience them twice if I want to increase and then decrease the settings – this is insulting, infuriating and confusing. I loved the lower settings on the Womanizer W100 and W500 because, for me, they were great “foreplay” – they kinda felt like oral sex, and definitely felt different from vibrations. It felt also kinda like tapping or the most something could really feel like a tongue without making clitoral contact. Those first few levels on the W100 felt so good to me that I didn’t want to orgasm too quickly, I wanted to continue to experience the sensations. Only the first two or three settings on the Satisfyer Pro 2 feel this way to me BUT they still lack the subtleties and nuances of the first few levels of the Womanizer, before things start to get to be super intense and kinda blurry. By the second setting my lower abdomen is contracting from the intensity of it all, if that makes sense. With the Womanizer, either of them, there’s an obvious difference between each setting. Maybe a little less so on the W500 when you get into the upper intensity levels, but it’s still discernible. With the Satisfyer the differences between the levels are minute and so I don’t know where I am with all that clicking.

If we’re going to go with my odd, Lilly-esque metaphors, it’s like Womanizer W100 is the teenager, all slender and dressed in fashions that scream for attention; the Womanizer W500 is the adult with more power and a refined sense of style; the Satisfyer Pro 2 is the toddler just learning to count, loudly screaming the first few numbers in succession, rushing from “1, 2, 3” to “9, 10, 20, 100!” – while wearing a tasteful princess dress? Okay these odd metaphors have quickly gone to a bad place.  And yes, in literal terms, the Satisfyer Pro 2 is louder than the Womanizers. Same type of noise, just louder.

I prefer the body design of the Satisfyer Pro 2 over the Womanizer W500 which has always felt like holding a potato. An awkward potato. Yes, I also like the color better. It’s a pale copper. Maybe rose gold? It surely is less gaudy and ugly than the Womanizer W100 designs. It might actually match the iPhone 6 colors. HEY – IT’S NOT PINK! Surely that will please a bunch of you.  I think I also prefer the head on the Satisfyer – the opening of the cone is blunted whereas the opening of the cone on the Womanizer heads has an edge – that edge can be a little irritating when you apply pressure to get a better seal. Also: Fewer seams than the Womanizers. In terms of aesthetics of the Satisfyer 2 I actually don’t have anything to complain about.

I need to also say at this point that I’m already really irritated with typing “Satisfyer”. I hate that spelling. I hate it a lot less than calling a sex toy “Womanizer”, though. I hate it less than cliched ideas of what clitoris-owning people want something to look like. At least the design of the Satisfyer Pro 2 is more gender neutral? So it has that going for it.

Jesus Fuck On Wheels This Is Intense

Here’s what I need you to know about the Satisfyer: It’s intense. On the one hand, it’s good – it consistently gives me an amazing and strong orgasm. The kind where my chest looks sunburnt, my face looks like I’ve had 2 shots of vodka. But they boast that the “touchless” technology allows for multiple orgasms. I was able to do that with the Womanizer because I was easily able to go back down to the stimulating-yet-gentle first level and leave it there to ride out my intense orgasm. With the Satisfyer I’m playing a game of chicken with my clitoris, leaving it on as long as I can stand it before I yank it off post-orgasm. The Satisyfer Pro 2’s first power level is equivalent to about level 4 of 5 on the Womanizer.  The Satisfyer, unlike the Womanizers, is completely waterproof and they say that using it under water makes it even more intense – I don’t have a tub, but I don’t think I’d want it to be more intense. This is coming from someone with a self-proclaimed clit-o-steel, a clitoris that responds well to deep, rumbling pinpoint vibrations.

Just like the Womanizer, the Satisfyer Pro 2 doesn’t rely on vibration or true suction, it relies on pulsating air. When you combine this forced air with a nozzle that creates a seal there will be a tiny, teeny bit of suction going on but after experiencing an item with actual, intentional suction I can tell you that one shouldn’t buy a Womanizer or Satisfyer expecting clitoral suction.

Satisfyer Pro 2 compared to the Womanizer W100 and Womanizer W500 - who will win the crown?

I am really fucking torn on this. The price is easier to swallow for those who want to try out this new style of clitoral stimulation, but the high intensity is going to be too much for some people. It’s damn near too much for me on some days, to be honest. It has all of the subtlety of a jackhammer. If you know you like pinpoint clitoral stimulation and you know you want quicker orgasms without the build-up or you know you need high-intensity sex toys, then try the Satisfyer Pro 2. Honestly if the Womanizer didn’t exist I think I would feel differently about the Satisfyer (and I would love it) but it is impossible not to heavily compare these items. Without the super high price tag of the Womanizer I would be thrilled to see a moderately affordable sex toy that can produce such intense sensations while being waterproof and rechargeable. The Satisfyer Pro 2 has, without fail, brought me to an intense orgasm every time I’ve used it. My reservations are that I personally dislike how you must use it (cycling through all 11 settings and back again) and that it is a copy of the Womanizer technology. However for those who are less concerned about the political aspects of copycat designs and simply want to experience a powerful, focused clitoral stimulator at a price that won’t break the bank? I think this might be your ticket.

Update 7/21/16: Days after I publish this review, Satisfyer puts a blast out to the PR wires. XBIZ reports that the new version of the Satisfyer Pro 2 will be “90% quieter” but more importantly:  “According to Satisfyer’s Vice President of Sales, Jerome Bensimon, when it is activated, the Satisfyer is now more than 90 percent quieter, and the pulsation also starts much more softly, so that every user can find his or her perfect intensity level.” Hopefully I’ll be able to test this out. New versions supposedly available in August.

My thanks to Shevibe for sending me a Satisfyer Pro 2 in exchange for my unfailingly honest review. SheVibe is also the generous sponsor of my upcoming trip to Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit 2016.

 

 

  1. really, 20, if I want to try out a little more and then get back to the first setting
 Posted by at 4:51 pm
Jun 062016
 

Review Round-up: 4 Affordable Sex Toys to Maybe AvoidIn my never-ending quest to locate affordable sex toys made from body-safe materials that aren’t terrible I often end up finding a lot of crap. The following four affordable sex toys aren’t worthy of a full review but each one has some issues. I really only hate one of these items. The others are just okay, with some flaws in marketing (do these companies understand the vacuum capabilities of the butt??) and odd designs.

Closet Collection Ellie G Ribbed Bendable

This is my first time trying something from the Closet Collection brand and I think it’ll be my last. I don’t know how much SheVibe would have sold this for, but it’s not yet (or ever?) on their site. Other websites seem to be selling it for no less than $60 which is fucking atrocious. I mean really, seriously what-in-the-actual-fuck ridiculous. This is Picobong-level bullshit pricing. Before I looked up the average retail price on the Closet Collection Ellie G I had it pegged at about $35, maaaaybe $40. It’s battery-powered, it has a cheap metallic-coated plastic handle and when you bend it, it just feels cheap inside. It has one button for its 10 functions (only 3 speeds) and is noisy as hell. The vibrations aren’t the buzziest I’ve felt, but they’re not all that powerful or anything I’d ever call rumbly. The gimmick is that it bends in the middle up to a 90-degree angle. Sadly it doesn’t STAY bent like that. As you get it inserted and start to thrust, it begins to straighten out. I also had to screw the cap on just-so so that it would work. Too tight and it wouldn’t even turn on. The ribs feel like they’re scraping my vaginal wall; like maybe I should take it with me to my next pap smear – it’s that scrapey.

EllieGBendable

I’d heard some rumors that the material was a bit suspect – it felt weird, and smelled bad. When I first opened it, it did smell quite “fragrant” but that dissipated in a few days. The silicone is silky and dust-resistant, but there’s no oily residue. After I was sure that I never want to use this piece of crap again, I dissected it and flame-tested it. So it’s silicone; at least it has that going for it.

Sinclair Institute Select Onyx P-Spot Wand

First I have to tell you this: I don’t really feel comfortable telling you that this is anal safe. I mean yeah, the Njoy Pure Wand is anal safe and I think was first designed for prostate massage, but what is the deciding factor on baseless butt toys? Will something with a certain degree of a curve not get sucked up inside the rectum? Does it have to be of a certain length? Do the balls on each end of the Pure Wand acts as stoppers? I just don’t know.

I reviewed this as a G-spot dildo. They already have a G-spot dildo, but the sizes and styles are so similar that I figured it didn’t matter which I chose. The G-Spot version is 6″ in length, supposedly, and 1.25″ width whereas the Onyx P-spot dildo is 5.75″ in length and 1″ wide. I’ve seen reviews of the G-Spot dildo calling it “tiny”; 1.25″ isn’t super tiny in my book, but 6″ is on the shorter end for some people. However with glass there is always a quarter inch leniency in size, it seems because even if they don’t anneal it properly, it’s still “made by hand”.  I feel like the Onxy P-Spot is just too short for prostate play for most people, unless your prostate is located more closely to the anus and you’re pretty flexible. As a G-spot toy it was nice enough – I like that curve and it reminds me of the Pure Wand. But I’d rather it be longer. Bex has the Crystal G-Spot wand and when I visited them last year I did a polariscope test – surprisingly, there were no rainbows. There’s some stress, to be sure, but it’s not awful. And given the under-$35 price range for these, if you are looking for something small and slender then this could be a decent glass option for those with a G-spot. But for prostates? Avoid.

SinclairInstituteCrystalG  SinclairInstituteOnyx

I’m also undecided of the safety of the “etching”. You can definitely feel the etching; whether it’s etching or a decal, I can’t say for sure. I tried to scrape it off, but it wasn’t coming off. I don’t think it’s something that would bother anyone unless they’re sensitive. It’s better than Pipedream but I still have some reservations here.

Cloud 9 Silicone Pro Plug Small

So I wanted a Cloud 9 item just to see if it’s really silicone. They have a dildo that is under $25, for pete’s sake! And a lot of anal toys with that controversial “ring-pull” base. And a “double-sided” plug which is either bizarre or brilliant depending on how you look at it. But anal safe? Eeehhhhhh I don’t know about that!

Oh my god, do not use their anal toys unless you definitely have a finger completely through the ring-pull, up to your third knuckle. The ring-pull is made of silicone. Stretchy silicone. What’s even more bizarre is that because they insisted on having this fucking “cloud” design going, the stretchy silicone ring is fairly thin in one part. Thin enough that when I stretch it, I become concerned and it’s shown signs of wear. But silicone is more hardy than rubber so fingers crossed it’ll be fine. If your fingers aren’t too large, then it won’t be uncomfortable to wear; it could be potentially used with success if it’s on your thumb or finger while manually stimulating someone’s clit. The plug could then go in their butt or vag. It could be something interesting to use on yourself in this manner, possibly? I only have the small plug just because I wanted to flame test, so it did nothing for me but hey, maybe a bigger plug could?

Cloud9Plug1  Cloud9Plug2

Sadly Cloud 9 has a set of silicone beads that could be nice, if they didn’t have that elastic ring pull. Then there’s the vibrating plug which, thanks to the bullet, leaves no room for it to go on your finger like a ring which means….don’t you dare put this in your ass. If it’s not on your finger….goodbye butt toy. The silicone is very silky and dust-resistant, though. So there’s that. And yes, it passed the flame test but wow….so little thought went into anal safety here.

Packer Gear Kisser Silicone 6″ Suction Cup G-Spot Dildo

I think I dislike this one the least. But my god can we cut down on the long-ass names? This new line from CalExotics caught my eye because it’s affordable silicone1. Why is it called “Packer Gear”? Well they do carry a cloth gender-neutral packing harness2 but these black silicone dildos are not what I’d call “packer friendly”.  The base is a firm suction cup. The bottom portion is fairly firm and unyielding. The thinner mid portion has bend and give, naturally, because it’s thinner. But these aren’t dildos to pack with. I don’t see it working out well, at all. The Kisser is actually a nice-feeling dildo, and I like that head (although it’s not very thick) for g-spot play. But packer, it ain’t. I’ve also felt stronger suction cups.

What they ARE though, are affordable silicone suction-cup dildos. My gripe? In the center of the suction cup is circle of silicone. The suction cup on top looks to be all one piece in regards to the dildo portion – there’s nothing that leads me to think that the suction cup and dildo were two separately made pieces. When I bent the suction cup around I heard this crunching sound, like dried glue being dislodged. Then I could see, when the suction cup was flattened a bit, a gap around that circle. Great place to trap fluids. I tried to pry that circle off, and couldn’t.  Then I got more curious so I cut it open. I wasn’t really surprised to see that in order to make such an affordable silicone dildo, they had to stuff it. Except for the plug being able to trap fluids, there’s no way this is going to fall apart on you. You would never get fluids inside to the stuffing, because of how they made the plug portion – the wider part goes into a groove inside the suction cup which is why I couldn’t pry it out until I cut it open.

PackerGear1 PackerGear2 PackerGear3

Some people may have a problem with this. The silicone3 surrounding the stuffing is thick and seamless. Unless you hacked this thing open you would never come into contact with the stuffing and I truly don’t believe the stuffing could ever come in contact with fluids. I don’t have a problem with how this is made, for the most part; just don’t futz around and be rough with the base in a way that’ll dislodge that glue around the edges like I did.  Yes, some folks take issue with the wording in cases like this: “pure silicone”. “But it’s not ‘pure’ silicone, it has stuffing!” Look at it this way: When you see a silicone vibrator marketed as pure silicone, do you say “But it’s not ‘pure’ silicone, there’s electronics and hard plastic inside!” No? When they’re saying it like this, it’s just a marketing thing, and it’s harmless. It’s probably a holdover from the days when they used to claim that a “silicone blend” was a thing.  In this case the stuffing isn’t something that could potentially ruin the dildo and unless you hack it open you’d never know. If this is necessary to produce truly affordable silicone dildos then I don’t have a problem with it, so long as the design is done well.

 

Thanks to SheVibe for sending me these items to try, dissect, burn and bend, in exchange for my unbiased reviews.

  1. Only the black dildos are silicone. They make packies, but they’re TPR
  2. Under $30!
  3. Yep, passed a flame test
May 082016
 

JimmyJane Intro 4 and 6 with the Form 4 in the backgroundYou know how I feel about JimmyJane so you’re wondering right now why on earth I’m reviewing part of the new JimmyJane Intro line, yes? Well it was suggested by a trusted friend that I check them out, especially because of the price point – which has always been a sticking point with me when it comes to JimmyJane. I just don’t feel that the Form line is worth their price tag. So when JJ came out with these new Intro vibrators I felt that I just had to give them a chance. At $391 for the most expensive version – a battery-powered Form 2 (which they’ve so originally called the Intro 2) – the line is affordable and “simple”. But so many vibrators right at (or under) the $35 mark can have lackluster vibrations or flaws I can’t overlook, so we already know that this will be a tough battle. However with a clean slate – past grievances momentarily forgotten – I ripped the JimmyJane Intro 4 and Intro 6 from their packages and hastily turned them on. I tried brand-new name brand oomphy batteries as well as the nonames included in the box.

Here’s Me Trying to be Objective and Nice

JimmyJane is certainly not the first “luxury” sex toy company to come out with a more affordable line. Lelo did it first with Picobong; with one exception I remained largely unimpressed – Picobong is kinda overpriced and has horribly placed controls and terrible cap-handles. Despite the fact that I hate the design flaws of Picobong, and their price points, the Picobong Moka is stronger than the JimmyJane Intro 4 or 6. Picobong Moka also takes 2 AAA batteries like the JimmyJane Intro 4 and 6 do, so it’s not the batteries holding back such a motor.

The JimmyJane Intro 4 has a weird shape, much like the JimmyJane Form 4 but the Intro 4 is even more weird for my body. It’s straight with an hourglass-like shape that doesn’t do anything for me. The shape of the JimmyJane Intro 6 is much better, and much more universal. So I wanted to like it, honest to Pete I wanted to like it. And in hand the vibrations aren’t BAD. I’ve felt worse. They seem to come pretty close to the Boom Olive and the OVO K2 Rabbit‘s internal arm is a bit more powerful and rumbly.  I was definitely kinda disappointed and underwhelmed when I first turned on the Intro 6 but I’d been expecting more rumbly vibrations. I also wish that both the Intro 4 and Intro 6 were a little longer. However these are waterproof, and able to be submerged a little bit (1 meter).  So if you want a cheap, bathtime vibe and don’t need power, this is a decent option – especially since bathtime is the only time the silicone will be clean.

The cap on the Intro 4 or 6 doesn’t come off easily during use, and the single button is in a good place. I have enough room to rest a finger on the end for added grip and leverage while trusting without turning the vibe on or off.  This is good. Nothing horrid, so far, right? I mean I could totally do without it existing, but this isn’t the hate-filled tear-down I’ve given them numerous times in the past.

This Fucking Silicone Though

OVO is around the same price for battery-powered pieces and their silicone covering is so much better.  Smooth and silky, it doesn’t attract dust, dirt or fur. The same can be said for the Boom line, or Picobong (which is even silkier than the Ovo K2). But Jimmyjane Intro is covered in that grabby-draggy sort of silicone that manages to attract more dust and fur than a Swiffer. Lube is fairly necessary for most people to comfortably use the Intro line.

I love the navy blue and wine colors, but they don’t make up for a silicone that cannot be used without cleaning first. The picture below shows the Picobong Moka and the Intro 4. I’d recently washed off the Intros for their photoshoot but after a mere 15 minutes any dust in the air landed on the Intros and any cat fur on me ran for the Intros like metal shavings to a magnet.

JimmyJaneIntroDUST

Let’s Not Get Too Excited

I’ve been told on good authority that the JimmyJane Intro 1 should be passed over – weaker than the 4 and 6, it’s kinda useless. Having avoided the polarizing Form 2, I didn’t ask for the Intro 2 so I can’t comment on how the Intro 2 compares. Unless you prefer a straight vibrator, I think that the only one in this line that I could half-heartedly recommend is the Intro 6. I think that the Picobong Moka has much nicer vibrations, but it’s also $20 more for no damn good reason. I think that the Ovo F3 has a sorta-similar shape to the Intro 6, same price point, with ever-so-slightly better vibrations, plus nicer feeling/cleaner material. 

We’re all wondering how the vibrations compare to the JimmyJane Forms, right? I’ve hung on to my Form 4 and here’s how it breaks down: the Form 4 has 5 levels of intensity. Level 3 on the Form 4 is equal to high (level 3) on the Intro 4 and 6. Level 4 on the Form 4 is equal to OVO F line. Level 5 on the Form 5 is about the same as the Picobong Moka. If the motor on the Form 4 never went past 3 then I would swear to you that the motors in the Form 4 and Intro 4 and 6 are identical; the vibration “tone” and level of rumbly is identical.

I don’t hate the JimmyJane Intro 6, but I am far from loving it. How hard would it have been to get a motor that is rumbly or just a smidge more powerful? How hard would it have been to use a better silicone? A little extra rumble goes a long way and if JimmyJane really wants me to believe that this motor is the absolute best they could do for a $492 vibrator (bitch, please) then we need to have a chat. It can be done, I know it can be done. I’m sure that the motor on the Blush Nude Impressions isn’t what makes it cost $49, it’s the rechargeable aspect. The motor in the Picobong Moka is proof – it probably doesn’t cost more to include, it’s that Lelo likes to overcharge for everything. I just will not accept that at $49/35 THIS is the best we can do in terms of power and rumble. My Doc Johnson Black Magic Bullet is proof of that to me. It seems that I am destined to dislike the motor in every single JimmyJane item.

I would possibly recommend the Intro 6 as a first vibrator for someone only if they are apprehensive about vibrations in general – if they can already orgasm *fairly* easily from fingers or tongues, then this is perhaps enough. I very much dislike the notion that everybody’s first vibrator needs to be either the overrated Magic Wand (an 11 on the scale) or something mild / tame. Where are the simple, affordable vibrators that have rumbly-ish vibrations which go from mild to spicy? I guess it just depends on your level of affordability, but I won’t stop trying to find something under $40 that is great. I just don’t think the JimmyJane Intro 6, or Intro 4, are good enough. I don’t think that JimmyJane deserves the vast amount of praise and accolades I’ve read lately; this line isn’t groundbreaking. It is not unique. If I could compare it to something, it’s like this Michael Kors bag I got off of a tag sale group on Facebook that is a knockoff – the big logo plate on it is cheesy and clearly not real, especially when you compare it to a real Michael Kors bag. The knockoff is still leather and still a nice bag, don’t get me wrong. The Intro line doesn’t look bad, but it makes the Form line look downright posh.

 

Many thanks to SheVibe for indulging my whims and sending me these vibrators in exchange for my brutally honest review, and especially for not sending me the day-glo pink variety. Also, gratitude to Shevibe for pricing the Intro line at a reasonable amount, rather than following JimmyJane’s grabby-hands prices as listed on their homepage.

  1. Keep in mind I’m quoting the very-reasonable SheVibe prices here – the prices at JJ’s site are an appalling $59 for the Intro 2, $49 for the Intro 6 which is just fucking insulting
  2. The Jimmyjane price because if I’m gonna rant here, I might as well go hard
 Posted by at 10:00 pm
Apr 032016
 

Jopen Lust L2.5I picked up the Jopen Lust L2.5 during a big Black Friday sale because I’d heard a few other reviewers rave about it (or the nearly-identical Lust L2). You’re getting a good deal for $49; powerful, rechargeable, waterproof. While it isn’t as useful as the Tango because the Tango can replace similarly shaped bullet vibes that insert into dildos, some people just want a powerful clitoral vibe that isn’t quite as pricey as the Tango at $79. So with hopes very high and expecting awesome things with no drawbacks, I got the Jopen Lust L2.5, finally.

Historically I’ve not had great luck with Jopen toys and Jopen warranty service; at least 4 Jopens I’ve received for review had to be sent back (at my dime, usually, unless SheVibe stepped in) for warranty replacement before I could even write my review. More than one Jopen vibe gets unusually warm during use which isn’t listed as a “feature” so I assume it’s not supposed to happen (and was told that with their early Envy line that it wasn’t a feature). Thankfully for me so far the Lust L2.5 has held up but just like I warn about Lelo’s customer service, I want to be transparent about Jopen issues. While Jopen toys are “powered by Powerbullet” (BMS Enterprises) and the line started off as the US-counterpart of the Swan (Leaf) brand, Jopen is a CalExotics line.

Ok But That Fucking Button

When you have such a small vibrator the places to put the button are limited. With the Tango I never accidentally hit the button because I don’t hold it in such a way that I would. But with the Jopen Lust L2.5, the only way for me to comfortably hold it during use has my thumb resting right on the button. There’s no getting around that. The number of times I have accidentally turned it off? I’ve lost count. The way Jopen’s single buttons work is that you have to press and hold to turn on and then press and hold to increase the vibrations. So a single, easy click of a button shuts it off. For me, the constant accidental shut-off took my theoretical rating from an 8.5/10 to a 6/10. I find it THAT annoying. It’s been an orgasm-ruiner because of this. Sometimes I’ve been able to overlook oddly placed buttons or buttons that require a bit of contortionist hands or buttons that require strength to press or even buttons that are an ugly rhinestone. If I love the vibrator enough I can overlook that. So I don’t know why this button issue has me so irritated. Maybe because I’d read reviews that got me hyped up to think it was as great a vibe as the Tango? I also think my button hatred issues stem from the fact that I’m not accustomed to the Jopen way of life, where you have to remember to press-and-hold the button to increase your speed during use. The vast majority of my vibrators do not work that way. My brain, especially in the hormonal haze of masturbation or sex, forgets that this one is different. And so, I shut it off accidentally. Every. Damn. Time.  If you don’t think this is gonna be an issue for you, then you’ll enjoy it more than I do.

Jopen Lust L2.5 Button

People have complained about the lack of travel-lock on the Touch and Tango. I never experienced an issue, especially after buying a protective case. So while you may be excited about the travel-lock feature on the Jopen please be aware: You may think your Jopen is defective at first. It arrives in travel-lock mode; click three times in a row and the button will glow red for a second. Okay, great, we’re done. NOPE. Every damn time you charge it it goes right into travel-lock mode after you pull out the charging pin. Annoying.

Good Vibrations? Lust L2.5 vs Tango

Speaking of the Tango, you can’t not compare the two even though, shape-wise, they’re nothing alike. The vibrations of the Jopen Lust L2.5 are strong and just nearly as rumbly as the Tango on the lower settings. But when you ramp up the intensity of the Lust L2.5, the rumbly changes to something with some buzz to it. It’s got this itchy edge to it on high that which is definitely not a hallmark of rumbly. From some reviews I expected it to be just as rumbly as the Tango but I should have known better – I have other Jopen toys and none are quite as rumbly as a Tango or Rave or Prism V. They’re good; I like many of them. But as I’ve said before my genitals are a diving rod for true rumble. If you’re looking for a truly deep, rumbling, powerful and pinpoint clitoral vibe I’ve gotta tell you to save up for that Tango. I’ve been keeping the Jopen Lust L2.5 as my backup for when all 5 Tangos are dead (yes, that happens, I’m lazy at charging). But in order to keep the peace while using it, I can’t hold it.  I sometimes get the same amount of run-time from the Jopen Lust L2.5 as I do from the Tango, but the Lust L2.5 takes 2.5 hours to reach a full charge. Tango is a fraction of that time. I’ve also had situations where I swear that I’m only getting 15-20 minutes of run time with the Lust L2.5 and I’m not even using it on high. I’ve had it die on me during use more times than any other sex toy in recent history. Sometimes I can have the patience of just 5-7 minutes to charge the Tango just enough to quickly get me off if I need to but that will never happen with the Jopen Lust L2.5.

Jopen Lust L2.5 vs We-Vibe Tango

I’m also torn on how to talk about the intensity of the vibrations because, unlike the Tango, the Jopen Lust L2.5 suffers from severe vibration dampening when any pressure is applied or it is surrounded by fleshy labia. The dampening is actually kind of a good thing though because it tones down the bit of buzz I feel on the higher settings and lets the rumble side shine through a little better on the lower settings. But with the way I use the Lust L2.5, how fleshy my labia are, etc….I am getting so much vibration dampening that it’s a drastic change from how powerful it feels when you turn it on and just hold it in your hand. It’s then that I realize that it’s better than the Lelo Mia 2 but it’s not up to par with the vibrations of the Touch and definitely not the Tango.

Love. Hate. Love. Hate.

I think that for the price, this is a great little vibe. It’s not the best, it’s not better than the Tango, but it is one of the better vibes around $50 – you’d have to up your budget to $79+ to find a better vibe. So who would love this? Who will be satisfied? I think you’d have to be someone who simply cannot save up for the Tango in the foreseeable future. Or maybe you already know that seriously rumbly, seriously powerful toys are not quite your thing, that you want moderately-to-very rumbly. Then you’d prefer the Jopen Lust L2.5.  You have to be someone who is able to roll with the change from the norm in button style, and who can hold it in such a way that you don’t accidentally turn it off. I don’t feel that the vibe being covered in a thin silicone skin makes it any more comfortable to use than the Tango, but I do feel like it’s a little bit easier to hold given the grippy silicone and the overall shape.  The main difference between the Lust L2 and L2.5 is the ridges right below the head – if you’re someone who likes movement, rubbing, friction, etc with your vibrations, you’ll want the Lust L2.5. If you want to use a vibrator and not worry about lube then pick the slick, shiny plastic of the Tango. And while I do love that the Jopen Lust L2.5 doesn’t waste my time with pulsating patterns I’ll just ignore, if you need those then you’re out of luck here.

This review, and my feelings about the toy, kinda remind me of the Palmpower Wand. When I finally got my hands on it I was shocked by how much I hated it and how much others loved it. No, I don’t hate the Jopen Lust L2.5, but I feel a lot differently about it than most. It absolutely does bring me to orgasm, and a good strong orgasm at that so it’s not a total loser. It’s just not the best in class, unless your budget limitations are firm. I feel like this could have gone over better with me if the button were different, if it weren’t such an orgasm-ruiner.

 

 Posted by at 2:07 pm