Feb 132018
 

Gaia Eco on coral photographed against a wood backgroundYou are probably wondering why a reviewing veteran like me is talking to you about a $10 vibrator and the answer is: the material, the vibrations and the sheer novelty of liking a $10 vibrator. The Gaia Eco is *biodegradeable* and *recyclable* which is rare for sex toy materials. When this first came out and we read about the starch-based plastic a number of people imagined something much more delicate and single-use; something that might be made out of “starch” more than “plastic”. Rest assured it feels like plastic and acts like plastic; it won’t be disintegrating atfer a few washes. What’s more, the Biofeel bioplastic uses less energy and creates less greenhouse gas emissions to create. 

Just because I’m recommending this as a good “first vibrator” option doesn’t mean you should expect it to be weak – too often reviewers have attempted to sugar-coat mediocre or sub-par sex toys by proclaming their weak motors as “good for beginners”. I was once that beginner who kept trying buzzy, weak motors and thinking I was broken because, newbie to vibrations or not, I needed more. I knew because fingers could only get me off maybe 1 in 15 times and tongues nearly never. I knew I needed more but every review I read on retailer sites kept proclaiming the vibrators “powerful” when they really weren’t to me – power is subjective but you can’t ask Raina in Ohio any follow up questions.

Let’s get back to this cool bioplastic for a minute. I needed to know more so I went to Ducky. Here’s what Ducky told me:

The Gaia Eco line is made from a food grade bioplastic. Like ABS plastic, our bioplastic is nonporous and compatible with all lubricants. The toys will not break down. You can not just toss it in your recycling bin and expect it to be recycled, but a person can take this product to their local recycling center and they can recycle them there.

Biobased polymer need to be proceed in industrial composing units which have a measured dose of heat and microbes. In this environment the toys will degrade in 180 days. To toss it in a landfill or your home composting bin will not expose the vibe to the right elements. City recycling facilities should also separate the metals and electronics from the casing. Can we guarantee that every consumer will follow through? No. But the vibe does encourage conversations around how to recycle and the availability of sustainable plastics. 

So yes, it can be recycled but perhaps not as easily as tossing it in your blue bin. But at least we understand more about the material, now!

Gaia Eco Size - 7 inches long, 5.75 inches insertable, 1 inch wide, 3.5 inches circumference. The Gaia Eco is about as basic as a vibrator can get: Straight, rigid, battery-powered with a control dial on top for a range of steady vibrations. It’s slender and long enough for vaginal insertion (but not anal-safe!) and works really well as an external vibrator, too.  I personally don’t like this as an internal vibrator because I want a more girth and a lot more curve, but plenty of folks like this style for insertable use.

Here’s the kicker: the motor is actually pretty darn good. It’s powerful and fairly rumbly. A lot of cheap vibrators can be mild on the vibrations and surface-buzzy but the Gaia left me pleasantly surprised – so surprised that as it sat on my desk for months I kept turning it on briefly as if to remind myself that the vibrations weren’t something from a fever dream, they really were that good.  In fact, the power level is so good that if you have a sensitive clitoris and can orgasm fairly easily from just fingers it might be too powerful for you. The vibrations are concentrated in the tip and lower third. You do feel some residual vibrations in your hand as you hold it, but it’s not much. I didn’t find it irritating and the vibrations are definitely enough to get me off. I had a much easier time orgasming with this $10 vibrator than I did my first three Lelo vibrators.

You’d probably also expect a $10 vibrator to be loud and obvious but the Gaia Eco is quieter – and more powerful – than the Dame Fin, the JimmyJane Intro line, the Fun Factory Jazzie, or the Crave Bullet.

I’d recommend the Gaia Eco as a first vibrator because it will help you understand your body better: you’ll find out if your vagina/g-spot responds at all to vibration; you can see if you may prefer pinpoint or broad stimulation by using the very tip or the side against your clitoris and labia. You can use this to find out if any of your external parts like vibration – just don’t insert this up your butt. You’ll regret it. And hey, because it’s battery powered it makes a decent “whoops my other vibrators are in the shop1” back-up and even is good for travel – no accidental turn-ons and if you forget it you’re only out $10. It needs 2 AA batteries – I use Duracell copper-topped batteries. If you use rechargeable batteries you’ll get less oomph from the motor and, of course, as the batteries (any type) drain in power your vibrator will slow down, as well. 

 

Thanks to Blush Novelties for sending me the Gaia Eco in exchange for my honest review – you can find it for $9.99 at SheVibe in colors I can really get behind like aqua blue, spring green and coral pink. The coloring does have a lightly speckled look to it, like a robin’s egg!

  1. Because everybody forgets to charge their rechargeables at some point
Jan 282018
 

Zumio Classic Review - Zumio shown on top of multi-colored papers with craft scissors and a paint markerI don’t think I’ve ever held a sex toy as awkwardly as I hold the Zumio. It doesn’t endear me to the strange, purple antenna. Every single time I’ve used the Zumio I curse the button location. They had so much room to work with, but instead one button is nearly inaccessible to me. And so, this review begins on an ominous note. I’ll warn you right now: while many other reviewers really enjoyed the Zumio I’ve found too many quirks and problems to be able to recommend it. I’ve had my Zumio since November. Like the original Womanizer I didn’t want to like it, but suspected I would. Unlike the Womanizer I found I was different from most folks who’ve reviewed it. I consider myself to have a very hearty and stoic clitoris but even mine cowered in fear of the sometimes-painful Zumio.

Don’t Tell Me What To Do, Zumio

Many sex toys that I like end up being pretty versatile – you can use a lot of G-spot vibrators externally with great success, many clitoral vibes are great for perineum, penis, testicle, external anal stim, labia stim, etc. I’d say that the only sex toy I really love that is limited in use is the Womanizer and all other varitions/knock-offs. I’ve been told that it can work great applied to the frenulum on the penis but haven’t had my partner agree. But the Zumio – right out of the gate they’re telling you how it’s supposed to be held and then damn near giving you a paint-by-numbers diagram of how to use it, and what spots to hit in which order. There are literal instructions on how to achieve this supposed (not guaranteed) 60-second orgasm that the Zumio was invented to provide.

It wasn’t until I really poked around the website that I realized why it’s so awkward for me to hold and use the Zumio – I’ve been holding it “wrong”. They’re holding it like a paintbrush and I’m still holding it like, well, a vibrator. With the buttons facing me and the body perpendicular to my vulva. So I tried to hold it their way and it was worse – the power button is the most obvious to my fingers so I kept accidentally turning it off because I just couldn’t remember that the other buttons are that damn far down the body, so close to the tip.

Folks who are flatter in chest and tummy and can easily see what they’re doing, folks without reach issues and “short arms” will find this less awkward. Folks with less pubic mound padding and less labia may not have a problem accessing the top-most1 button but the top-heavy feel of it in your hands, the overwhelming feeling that you’re not about to buzz your way to orgasm but paint your clitoris, may deter you like it’s deterring me. Those with wrist/hand pain/arthritis may also find that holding the Zumio is painful.

I also want to address another aspect of Zumio’s prescriptive stance: their early marketing “studies” and ridiculous “proof” of the ultra-quick orgasm that is supposedly the hallmark of the Zumio. Early on they kept throwing around these comparisons and percentages that, frankly, are a terrible way to market. You end up alienating people for whom your product doesn’t work. You may make people feel broken. I repeatedly called them out on this and pressed for more details; it was then we found out that this study they’ve been touting like it’s a religious tome was based on a mere SIXTY FOUR SUBJECTS. That’s it. 64. They claimed a wide range of participants but they eventually stopped using these numbers and claims. It also took them awhile to “gather the responses” to give me more data. Can you feel my side-eye from there? I haven’t seen them trot these percentages out in awhile and can’t find them on their site anymore. Hmmm…

But Lilly, Don’t You Love Pinpoint Stimulation?

I agreed to review the Zumio because it’s supposed to be the be-all end-all pinpoint sex toy2 and we all know how much I love pinpoint vibrators. Except Zumio isn’t really a vibrator, technically speaking, it oscillates3. And despite the company’s ridiculous claims and promises of a quick orgasm, I had problems and found that, perhaps, there was such a thing as too pinpoint for me. Quelle surprise!  Sometimes I was able to orgasm in a few minutes  – but I can with the Womanizer, too. Sometimes I wasn’t.

Every other pinpoint vibrator I’ve tried and liked was pinpoint, yes, but they also provided just enough extra surface area to stimulate more than the exact spot they were honing in on, not to mention stimulating the internal clitoris legs to some degree. Not the Zumio. For once I had trouble finding my spot, that one spot on the right side of my clit, because the tip of the Zumio is so precise and rigid that I simply don’t feel much pleasure until X marks the spot. It was a frustrating game of pin-the-tail-on-the-clitoris. Zumio acknowledges this on their site, buried in the FAQ. If you look at the question “Is Zumio as strong as a vibrator?” you’ll see that they say no, it is not. “Vibrators shake everything that touches them including the clitoral region, hand and arm and even the entire body. Your body is full of nerve endings. All of them pick up these energy pulses in some form and can be overwhelming signals to your brain. It’s like a sledge hammer to drive a tack!”

Your entire body? Really?

It is a big pet peeve of mine when a sex toy manufacturer puts so much emphasis on putting down other, similar products. You don’t need to be like “Vibrators? PAH. THEY SUCK. TRY ZUMIO” to get sales.

The Zumio claims to replicate the feeling of your finger circling your clitoris – which couldn’t be farther from the truth. It feels exactly like what it is – a vibrating plastic tip. It’s intense. It feels a lot like if you took the vibrator motor – the kind with the off-balance head that wobbles around – and applied it directly to your clitoris. I would know, I did that once with my first sex toy.

I’m also usually a person who needs pressure – whether it’s applying pressure to my clitoris or needing a vibrator that won’t be diminished under the “pressure” of my surrounding labia. When I apply a very light amount of pressure, the sensations change and feel less intense and almost more rumbly, if that’s possible. But when I apply a little bit more pressure the Tip stops moving completely although the motor is still going. A number of times during use as I tried to find the right combination of my spot and Zumio placement and intensity I would apply enough pressure for it to stop moving. 

A Strange Orgasm

I can orgasm, but not in 60 seconds, on the lowest setting of the Zumio if I’m aroused or watching something erotic on Tumblr. The resulting orgasm is mild and feels like nothing within seconds. It takes awhile, anywhere from 10-20 minutes.The Zumio is too intense, too direct, for me to continue to use it for additional orgasms like I can with the Womanizer, so if I want another orgasm – because the first one was disappointing – I have to wait a little bit.

I can increase the speed on the Zumio – I can only go to 3 or 4 because any higher than that and it’s even more sensitive to whatever pressure I am trying not to apply – and the resulting orgasm is stronger but afterwards I still don’t feel like anything happened, if that makes sense. At level 3, the Zumio did force an orgasm but it was an empty orgasm. It left me as quickly as it started and I don’t feel it bodily – it’s like the orgasm and its aftershocks are strictly located in my clitoris and I just don’t feel it anywhere else.

Every time I’ve used the Zumio I looked longingly at my Womanizer Pro40 and wanted to abandon ship for it, but “I must continue on. For science.”

A Few SpiroTIP Warnings

FYI, the following is not mentioned in the manual. I’d assumed that the Tip was purely ABS plastic, through and through. But one weekend I was carrying the Zumio in my handbag. When I finally removed it I panicked because the Tip was bent at almost a 75-degree angle. I thought I ruined it completely. It seems that the top half of the tip is bendable wire covered in a plastic of some type? After I accidentally bent it once it was easy to accidentally bend it again, and now the purple plastic in the spot is lighter, showing signs of stress. The moment there’s a break in that covering, the Zumio won’t be safe for use anymore4.

Zumio only gives you a standard-issue drawstring pouch for storage so I feel like this damage to the Tip could happen to anyone, whether they’re carrying it in their pocket, their handbag, their suitcase or even if it’s just in a jumbled nightstand drawer.

This second problem happened as I was preparing to take a photo of the tip to show the damage to the plastic. As I was cleaning my Zumio I noted that a not-inconsiderable amount of dried lube/fluid had congregated in the space between the base of the plastic-covered tip and the silicone of the body. I gently ran my fingernail along the seam, like you do. This caused the plastic portion of the Tip to pop out of the body. I was able to eventually work the tip back into place, as the silicone covering is flexible around the joint of the tip, but the damage was done. My Zumio is now completely dead. The tip is covering a metal rod which feeds into the motor – the metal rod isn’t fixed into place so when it was lifted up along with the plastic SpiroTip I couldn’t get it back into place again so that it works.

Close-up image of the broken Zumio - the plastic tip slightly separated from the body, with a lighter purple spot in the center of the tip, indicitative of where it bent

And this part leads me to concerns about their Limited Warranty…

Notes on the Zumio Limited Warranty

The warranty only covers any defects in material or workmanship under normal use during the warranty period of 1 year after the date of purchase. Is my accident with the bent SpiroTip considered a defect? I spoke with a rep from Zumio who said that no, it’s not considered a defect5 and probably wouldn’t be covered under warranty. Yet they do not warn about this and give you no way to to prevent it happening during travel. I haven’t bothered to ask if my second, and fatal, break would be covered under warranty – I doubt it. At this point, I have serious concerns about the build quality and their warranty.

I would also like to note that despite their constant claims of a 60-second orgasm on their site and social media there is no “satisfaction guarantee” and if this product doesn’t give you the 60-second orgasm they talk so much about don’t expect to get your money back. You wouldn’t expect that with any other sex toy, I know, but this feels like a weird juxtiposition to me.

It’s also noted that, according to the manufacturer, the average life span of the Zumio is about 2 years, which may vary with usage patterns. I suppose this might mean that if you apply a little pressure and if you really love it and use it a lot, it probably won’t last you two years. While the Zumio is 10 times more intense than the Eroscillator, to me, the Eroscillator has a much better track record for longevity even though their warranty period is the same.

An Exceedingly Long Charge Time

It’s not noted on their website but it is noted on the SheVibe page that charge time is “16 hours, from low battery to full battery” and this charge time gets you up to 4 hours of use, but as little as 75 minutes of use if you apply pressure and use it on a higher intensity setting a lot. Since applying pressure dampens the action considerably, you probably will have to increase the intensity, like I did. I can tell you I got nowhere near 4 hours of use on a full charge. I never ran a stop-watch while I was using it but if your use time on a full charge is under an hour then you have a defective unit. You can absolutely just pop it in the charging stand and charge for say, an hour or two, and then use the Zumio again. You don’t always have to fully charge it.

If you’re lucky enough that the Zumio works quickly for you then even just 75 minutes of total use time would equal a lot of orgasms, right? Except that I don’t know how normal non-use battery drainage works here. It’s not a lithium battery, it’s NiMH 350mAh. I’ve had plenty of sex toys lose their charge during dormant periods of use and I don’t claim to know if it’s related to a certain battery type.

Should You Buy The Zumio?

Obviously, I’m not a fan. I don’t hate the Zumio and it’s not the worst thing ever but it’s certainly not what I would expect from an “award winning” sex toy. If I do my best to get over my hatred of their prescribed useage and empty promises full of marketing lingo that makes me stabby, my opinion still slants towards “maybe give this a pass”. The button placement is a major issue for me and while the sensation it provides is certainly unique it’s also only going to be perfectly right for a small portion of people. I can’t just say “if you know you like pinpoint vibrations” because that’s me and I didn’t love it. The Zumio Classic is currently $140 – a lot of money to spend on such a finicky sex toy. Given my problems with the build quality and the extremely restrictive warranty I’m reluctant to recommend purchase. I can’t recommend the Eroscillator instead simply because the Eroscillator isn’t nearly as intense so it’s still apples and oranges. I’d pick the Tango but I’ve been told that for some folks it’s not pinpoint enough. The Womanizer feels nothing like the Zumio but, for me, is much more satisfying and provides a true build-up in intensity from light to “whoa nelly”.

The company has already created a slightly different model, the Zumio Caress, which will be out in a few months. I’ve attached a guide sheet that the company provided me with and it shows that the Caress has a shorter tip made out of softer material (I don’t know what it is) and that it is less intense than the Zumio Classic. The overall design is still the same and with a shorter tip I would have even more difficulty accessing the buttons, making this even more awkward to hold and frustrating to use. I think that I could appreciate the Tip redesign but it needs a body overhaul.

 

My thanks to Shevibe for providing me with the Zumio in exchange for my honest review! You can get the Zumio at Shevibe here.

  1. lowest? depends on orientation – regardless, I mean the “increase” button
  2. according to the manufacturer, of course
  3. but not nearly as effectively as the Eroscillator
  4. Why? Because the cracks in the plastic will harbor bacteria and potentially scratch/abrade/irritate the delicate tissue of the labia and clitoris
  5. In fact, they expressed surprise at what happened and said that it would take “considerable force” to bend the tip – I disagree
Jan 062018
 

Je Joue Bullets Classic and G-Spot against a light blue patterned backgroundWhen I first saw the new Je Joue bullets I had two thoughts. First: Oh god, more bullets. Second: Well, it’s Je Joue and except for that other extremely unfortunate line, I’ve really enjoyed every vibrator of theirs that I’ve tried and tend to recommend them highly. Also: that teaser video they put out for them where they did the water-displacement trick gave me hope – while they didn’t fight fair and compare their bullet to something actually comparable like the Tango, I did recognize that particular “style” of water displacement, the cue for “rumble and power”. So I reached out to Je Joue and eventually, a very nice rep said he’d send me the whole line which pleased me greatly because you all know how much I love to compare and contrast. After putting 2 of the 3 Je Joue Bullets through their paces I feel ready to recommend them!

A Play in Three Acts – Je Joue Bullets

Did you notice that I said “2 of the 3”? They sent me the whole line but I knew I wouldn’t like the Je Joue Rabbit Bullet because I hate “ears” on my clitoral vibrators. Yes, I love pinpoint stimulation – on one side. Whether they are ears or rigid prongs I’ve just never been a fan. I can tell you why I dislike ears easier than why I dislike prongs but it boils down to this: there’s no motor in the ears. They’re just fluff. They vibrate as wobbly antennae, protruding away from the motor and are therefore never rumbly or powerful enough for me and they crumble to nothing when smothered by chubby labia. Folks who need a more subtle approach tend to love them, though (if this is you? get the Rabbit bullet).

There was a bit of information noticeably missing from their early promos; info I find crucial: They took the idea behind the Mimi Soft and built that into the bullets. The tips are squishy! Folks who hate hard, rigid powerful bullets will really love these. The Je Joue Classic Bullet has a moderate amount of squishy bits, it’s just in the bullet-pointy tip part. The Je Joue G-Spot Bullet has the most – the squish begins the moment that tip angles out. The G-Spot Bullet will be the one you pick if you want power AND the most squish for your buck. The squishiness of the squish bits is the same as the Mimi Soft – so not quite as squishy as the Tenga Iroha vibes. But it feels more practical in use and placement of the squish compared to most Iroha styles1. All that being said: I couldn’t exactly feel the squish in use. It’s not like the marshmallow tip on the Eroscillator. But it can make it much more comfortable for those who like pressure.

Je Joue Bullet Classic, Je Joue Mimi Soft and Je Joue Bullet G-Spot lined up with a line drawn to show where the squishy bits startBut I’m definitely not on board with the G-Spot Bullet as an actual G-spot vibrator. In fact, the whole premise greatly confuses me and this is coming from a person with a shallow G-spot. Overall the G-spot bullet is just about 4.25″ long. The buttons are located on the shaft of the bullet which means the insertable portion is really short: 2.0″ if I’m being generous, giving you a mere half of an inch below the “high” or “increase” button and really, even then, you’re going to have trouble hitting that button. It just isn’t practical in my eyes to buy this as a G-Spot internal vibrator. As an external vibrator? It’s awesome and I love it.  So while I love this one for it’s big, squishy bulby tip, I twitch at it being called the G-Spot Bullet and prescribed as such but then perhaps I’m being short-sighted and there are folx out there who would actually need and use a slender vibrator with a max insertion length of about 2 inches.

What Is Happening With This Motor??

Two months ago this paragraph looked very different; my overall assessment and enjoyment of the motors in the Je Joue Bullets has increased the more I use them.

There are three things to know about me and my vibrator preferences: I usually need pinpoint stimulation, I love truly deep, rumbling vibrations (the more rumble the more better), and I hate patterns. Because these are bullets they’ve got the first requirement nailed down. I’d expected the same motor found in the Mimi but instead found something that confused me. The first four (of five) intensity levels aren’t exactly what I’d call “straight vibrations”. It’s like a really rapid pulsing that feels like it’s mimicking rumbling, thuddy vibrations. But yet it’s not really what I’d call a pattern and the funny thing is – I don’t hate it. Overall the motor still leans heavily more to the rumbly side of the scale but things feel different from the We-Vibe Tango or the Je Joue Mimi. I’d still call it rumbly, and possibly gently thuddy, while the highest level of intensity brings a tiny bit of buzz back to the party and removes the pulsating thud.

The lowest settings on the Je Joue bullets are nice and effective enough, while the highest setting is probably equal to the middle level of the Tango, or somewhere between mid and high level of the Tango2.  I was on the fence about these vibrations until I clocked more than 10 uses and realized I kept picking them up3. A bullet is basically my hands-free set-it-and-come vibrator that is great when I’m masturbating at my desk or otherwise sitting up and unable to relax, lay back, and spread out for the Womanizer. 

I prefer the Womanizer as my top choice for clitoral stimulation but it’s not always practical for my positioning the way a bullet can be. I do still feel like if given the choice, I’d pick the Tango over the Je Joue Bullets because I like the Tango’s motor a little better and, even though it has a single button to hate, there are fewer patterns so it’s much quicker and easier to cycle back through. The button differences have their pros and cons each so it’ll depend on how you use it.

The Cons – Because There’s Always a Few Cons

Je Joue Bullet buttons vs Je Joue Mimi buttonsI hate the buttons. I really fucking hate the buttons. I can see why they went this way – 3 buttons are absolutely better than one. Three allows you to traverse the intensities up and down as you please without forcing you to hit up floors 3, 4 and 5 when you’re on 2 and just wanna revisit 1 briefly to back off.  But having three buttons on a bullet means the buttons need to go on the “shaft” rather than the end. No matter how I hold it or how many times I’ve used it I can’t get accustomed to these barely-perceptible buttons that are smushed close together, and I’m often4 hitting the wrong damn button. It’s often enough that I end up hitting the “pattern” button way too often – often enough that if I were the type to give a star rating in my reviews, the buttons would knock off a full star. In use, if you can’t see the buttons you also can barely feel them, much less tell them apart quickly and easily. I hate patterns and wish they didn’t exist on these bullets.

I love versatility in a sex toy and these bullets when compared to the Tango, lack that somewhat. The Je Joue Bullets can’t be used inside other toys. They are versatile with external use, though, and provide a more pinpoint option than the Mimi.

A Solid “Hey These Are Pretty Darn Good” Rating

The Je Joue bullets are not taking any crowns or awards home for the most rumbly or powerful bullets on the market; they’re not the most affordable. They ARE waterproof, though, and have a warranty. But it’s a solid 7 for me and for others it may even rank higher. I really enjoy them, despite a few qualms and a hatred of the buttons. I enjoy the squishy-squashy tips, the weird motor and the fact that they charge via mini-USB. I prefer the motor in these over the Jopen $50 mini vibes, so the $10 boost in price feels like a worthwhile upgrade – plus I also hate the Jopen buttons PLUS the Jopen vibes charge via pin-style plug connector. Anything that charges via mini-USB gets a little boost from me since I can charge my phone or mouse with the same cable.The Je Joue bullets, despite being a far less pretty “sad purple” are a lot better in use than any Crave bullet or Crave mini vibrator I’ve tried.

There are lower-priced rechargeable bullets that are powerful, such as the Screaming O Charged Positive or Vooom but I flat-out refuse to support that company and recommend any of their products. If price is a big factor to you and thuddy rumbles matter less, you’ll probably end up picking the Screaming O bullet, much to my chagrin. I’d rather you not, okay? Thankssss. I do encourage you to try out a Je Joue Bullet! They’re neat!

 

These bullets were provided to me by Je Joue in exchange for my honest review and can be purchased at SheVibe for $59.

  1. I’ve never written “squish” quite so many times in a review, I think this is a new record
  2. My kingdom for a goddamn working Tango charger
  3. Have I mentioned I need a goddamn working Tango charger? My Tangos are all still dead because I’ve lost one charging cable and the other doesn’t work
  4. Nearly always
Nov 142017
 

Hot Octopuss Queen Bee on a dark blue towel with the edge of a hair dryer in the background. The Queen Bee looks a lot like a hairbrush without bristles. I feel like I must surely intro way too many reviews by telling you how skeptical I was about a product before I even laid hands on it. I do, right? I’m kind of afraid to find the answer and search my blog. But yeah I was skeptical about the Hot Octopuss Queen Bee from the moment I saw it. Sometimes I end up being pleasantly shocked but often I find my instincts were right.

For those unfamiliar with the basis of the Queen Bee’s tech, it’s a spin-off of their flagship penis vibrator, the Pulse. The pulsating plate on the Pulse is able to deliver deep, rumbling “vibrations” to the penis and provide intense stimulation that bested a traditional vibrator for many folks – it was powerful without being numbing and gave a sensation that didn’t even require manual movement (though you could, if you wanted to). Actually I did have a moment, briefly, without so much skepticism and I thought I could like the idea of the Bee, because anything that promises rumbling sensations perks my ears up. But as you may know I’ve been having a lot of trouble with depression this year and especially these last few months. I would use the Bee now and then when I remembered my review commitment and I took strange notes every time I used it, since I wasn’t in the headspace to write any parts of a review back then.

Hot Octopuss Queen Bee Diaries: "Aug. 19, 10 p.m. - The room fills with light from  the headlights of a car sitting at the stop sign  across from my home.  They linger. And linger. I shut off the Queen Bee, worried they're trying  to parse out what that strange sound is. "

In the user manual they give you the basics in many languages. It’s 278 grams, and 229mm long. It takes 4 hours to charge for 1 hour of use. The noise level is “below 55db”. Wait, what? 55db is ….relatively quiet? Not bad, not great. Allow me to get geeky for a minute, please. I promise this has a point. Our last dishwasher was rated at 50db and once we left the kitchen we couldn’t hear it running, not unless there were pots in there. Our current maxes out at 44db and sometimes I can be in the kitchen and not be sure it’s running. Using a sound meter is tricky – how close you hold the item to the microphone affects what it registers, obviously. When I was doing the tests for the Womanizer vs Satisfyer chart I held the items within 2 inches of my phone’s mic. I should probably have held the item as far from the phone as it is from my ears, in use, and I might re-do it that way. 

When I ran the sound meter test on the Hot Octopuss Queen Bee it registered at 48-54db when I held my phone up by my ear and held the Bee at vulva-level. When I held it up to the microphone the same distance as I did with the Womanizer it topped out at 80db. You can hear the Queen Bee in all it’s noisy glory right here.

I also ran the totally-scientific partner-and-cats reaction test. I left my partner in the living room, far end of the room, playing Assassin’s Creed. Central heating was running. I went into the kitchen, two rooms away and stood behind a wall. 80 feet and a wall separating us. He heard the Queen Bee loud and clear, even on low. The cat in the living room was staring at me. The cat in the kitchen was glaring at me with her ears back. 

I shouldn’t have been so surprised that the Queen Bee is disturbingly loud – sometimes the Pulse can be loud, too, but this is a whole new level. The Pulse is nothing like this. The Queen Bee doesn’t have the high-pitched whine of the Magic Wand or the frightening chainsaw-on-speed sound of the Rockbox Finger but it’s still loud and cringe-y. Pitch has a lot to do with it, as well – it doesn’t blend in with anything for most houses so it’ll stand out more.

Hot Octopuss Queen Bee Diaries: "Sept. 3, 7 a.m. - The Bee is so loud that I worry  the noise is confusing my brain into thinking it feels  more than it does, so I put in ear buds & turn on  music - like turning off the car radio so you can  concentrate better in a tricky traffic situation.  It doesnt help. I can still hear it. "

The Hot Octopuss Queen Bee is “not a vibrator”, technically speaking. They talk about oscillation (which in my experience is side-to-side movement) and “pistons”. The plate moves more outwards than side to side – and when I put too much pressure directly down on it, it stops completely.

They also present a “feature” of a gentle “warm-up” sensation, if you will, by using the other side of the wand. This isn’t a feature, it’s a side-effect. I’ve felt more vibration-transference on handles where they didn’t intend for it to happen, than the Queen Bee. The backside sensations are so weak you may not even notice them in use.A close up of the seam along the pulse plate of the Hot Octopuss Queen Bee. It has flakes of dried fluid in it, despite being cleaned just prior to the photo being taken.

This is all accomplished by there being a separate, moving part on the Queen Bee. The pulse-plate is firm, hard TPE that is given some movement via the softer TPE ribbed sides. The downside is that this is a “seam” to beat all seams and the fluids and dust and whatnot that get caught up in there is… a lot. I’ve purposely taken the photo above before cleaning to show you how bad it can get.

Hot Octopuss Queen Bee Diaries: "Oct. 24, 8 p.m. -  I keep turning the Queen Bee this  way and that, trying to find the perfect angle.  Any angle, really. It’s like I can feel the insinuation  of sensation all around my clit but not directly  on it. This is no good. No good at all.  I want to hurl it."

I have the same problem with a pulsating plate as I do a thrusting vibrator: pressure impedes movement. Just like the Mona Wave and Stronic Drei and even the pinchy Rockbox Finger – the Hot Octopuss Queen Bee is dead in the water when it meets my vulva. I feel like my genitals are the Bermuda Triangle for sex toys with movement. But then I remember that physics is a thing and I stop blaming my body and instead get mad about sex toy companies who don’t think about this.

Not only do I like, and need, pressure with the Queen Bee to circumvent my issues with broad stimulation, I have fleshy labia – full. “chubby”.  This means that it feels rumbly if I’m holding it in my hand and apply no pressure but the second my labia surrounds it like an octopus1, all movement of the plate stops and I’m left with this far-away hint of something….somewhere. I can hear it, oh boy can I hear it, but I don’t feel it. Because I can’t feel anything, I can’t even accurately predict if this will work for you if you don’t have much labia, if you have a larger/more visible clit and don’t need pressure. I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like! I’ve read a few reviews that talks about it feeling like a rapid “tapping” sensation. This hasn’t been my experience.

I have tried holding it at various angles. I have tried uncomfortably spreading my labia. I have tried numerous positions and I just cannot find any pleasure with the Queen Bee. I’m relieved that I can finally write this review and get it off my mind because I just don’t want to ever turn on, much less use, the Queen Bee again. I shouldn’t have to try this hard to get a sex toy to work for me.

I believe the only way this will work for you is if you have minimal labia and do not need pressure. The Queen Bee, despite being gendered by Hot Octopuss and prescribed for “women”, would potentially make a pretty decent alternative to the wrap-around design of the Pulse. Because of the material it seems like you’d be better able to glide the pulsating plate all around your cock2. You still can’t apply pressure and the sensations will be really localized but if you’ve been able to orgasm from vibrations alone, this could work well for you3.

I have one final bone to pick: It’s the button placement. The controls are on the “back side” of the Queen Bee. They’re all in a row, and can’t be seen in use. They take up almost the whole handle so at any given time my fingers are over them, trying to finagle the QB to my vulva while also not pressing the wrong button. I’ve accidentally hit the patterns which means the whole moment is ruined. I’ve been unable to quickly turn it off without removing it from my body and staring at the controls. It’s not intuitive, it’s not easy.

Hot Octopuss Queen Bee Diaries: "Nov. 4, 9 p.m. - Most times after a failed session with  a sex toy I hate, I go find a sex toy I love to finish myself off. But not this time. My arousal is negative  and my vulva just wants to glower at me from  the corner.  My vulva just needs to be left alone."

Like the strange iGino 1 and promising-until-it-wasn’t Revel Body, the Hot Octopuss Queen Bee will deliver different sensations from the vibrators you’re used to but it is not a sex toy for the masses. It is something that a minority of folks will love and appreciate and for $150 I just can’t recommend it. It’s a price point where most folks are going to want as much certainty as I can provide them that the sex toy will work for them and I simply can’t do that.

But wait…there’s more!

Before we go, I want to briefly talk about the materials because you all know that materials matter to me. You know I’m skeptical and use only non-porous products. Happily, the Hot Octopuss Queen Bee uses medical-grade non-porous TPE that can be sanitized. It can also tolerate silicone lube! I absolutely support this material as body-safe. I don’t know that everyone here is as fascinated by materials-talk as I am so instead I’ll link you to the materials FAQ sheet they gave me. You can ask me any question about the material in the comments or via email. If I can’t answer it, I’ll ask H.O.!

 

The Hot Octopuss Queen Bee was provided to me in exchange for an honest review from Hot Octopuss. It’s available directly from them or at my favorite retailer, Shevibe.

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  1. I see what you did there
  2. While the TPE on the backside has some minor texture and seems a bit “grabby”, the main side has no texture (just a print). It isn’t as smooth of a glide as hard plastic but with lube you shouldn’t feel any friction
  3. Yes, that whole paragraph feels a little “trying to squeeze out a silver lining” to me, too.
 Posted by at 10:31 am
Nov 022017
 

Black O-Wand on a bed of oyster shellsI might be the most skeptical reviewer around so when I read claims about the O-Wand being the “most powerful” rechargeable wand vibrator on the market, or claims of rumble, I immediately distrusted the whole thing. Could the O-Wand match the rumbling growl of the Lelo Smart Wand Large1? Would the O-Wand compete with other wand vibrators that talk about being the “most powerful”? I’ll be honest, the thing about the O-Wand that intrigued me at first glance is the handle – curved and ergonomic.  So what made my skepticism turn to distaste? 

Simply put, the O-Wand is trying too hard and not fulfilling its promises and unless you’re new here, you know how much I hate that.

Of all the Gin Joints in all the World

“You only hold me up like this ’cause you don’t know who I really am”. As with most reviews, I tend to do a lot of comparisons to other, similar products. Sometimes this need for comparisons can delay a review because it’s sooo much work. To review the O-Wand I had to drag out the giant box o’ wands; it’s the least-accessed box of sex toys; so ignored, in fact, that I found a dead bee in the box when I started pulling things out to work on this review. How utterly fucking appropriate, as I consider most wands to be irritating and buzzy. Why do I even continue to review wands, since I already know I need pinpoint stimulation and most wands just won’t work for me? The biggest reason is that I get asked for wand recommendations a LOT and folks are usually looking for something rechargeable, powerful, maybe even waterproof and sometimes rumbly. The wand I’ve liked the most over the past 9 years has been the Lelo Smart Wand Large because it is hella rumbly, but I am loathe to recommend any Lelo products for many reasons. I’m constantly on the lookout for a Smart Wand competitor. My definition of “rumbly” is also a bit more narrow/selective than some folks, especially when it comes to wands. When something is that high-powered even too strong of a hint of buzz renders the wand itchy and irritating to my vulva – it literally feels like my labia are being sanded off and oh, my god, the temporary numbess I get from these is overwhelming.

Itchy vulva aside I have other reasons for harping on the “ok but it’s really not truly rumbly” beyond just personal preference and the biggest reason is wand attachments. They simply work a fuck of a lot better on truly rumbly wands. And folks – I wouldn’t call the O-Wand “rumbly”. It’s not quite as buzzy as some wands but that’s about the best compliment I can give it.

There are some comparisons I can’t make. I don’t remember what the Sola Sync felt like, not well enough to make a definitive comparison but I remember feeling it at Woodhull this year (Sola was a Blogger Lounge sponsor one day) and being impressed. I don’t own a Le Wand, nor will I ever, but I got a chance to feel it up when Sarah and I visited a sex toy shop in Boston and the Magic Wand Rechargeable definitely felt a little more rumbly than the Le Wand.

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes

“And when it all goes to hell, will you be able to tell me sorry with a straight face”. The marketing copy calls the O-Wand the “most powerful, safest and stylish wand available today”. In many places they call this the “most powerful wand in the world”, and the box further clarifies with “the world’s most powerful rechargeable wand massager”. If you’re going to proclaim “best”, “the most powerful” and other comparative statements in marketing, can you at least try to make it true in some way? The claims made by O-Wand just simply are not true. The motor is really similar to the Magic Wand Rechargeable, but the MWR is a little bit more powerful. Again, I wouldn’t call either wand “rumbly”.

I also wondered about “safest”. What could possibly be more safe than some of the existing wands on the market? There are certain electrical-type tests that all vibrators have to pass if they’re sold in the EU, and pretty much every vibrator out there passes those tests. I referred back to a marketing email from the O-Wand company to see why they make this claim: “Safe: Made from the highest-grade body safe silicone, the OWAND is fully CE certified and boasts an automatic power-off to avoid overheating.” I don’t know of any that are NOT CE-certified, to be honest. And O-Wand is not the only wand to have automatic shut-off: Doxy has it, as does the Magic Wand Rechargeable. I’m pretty sure there are others.

There are also plenty of wand vibrators out there made from 100% body-safe materials. The “highest-grade” crap is just marketing weasel words. It’s silicone – it’s body-safe. You know who else uses silicone? The MWR, the Doxy Die Cast, the Smart Wand, Sola Sync – I could go on and on.

I know what you’re thinking: Who would buy anything if the marketing told the truth about sex toys? There’s making subjective claims and then there’s false advertisement and in my opinion we have the latter. Am I being picky with words? Perhaps.

Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am

“A penny for your thoughts but a dollar for your insights”. The first thing people usually ask about any wand that isn’t the Magic Wand is “will Magic Wand-compatible attachments fit the head?”. People really like attachments because it’s great to be able to turn a single sex toy into a full-on toolbox. The problem with the O-Wand is that the head is kinda egg-shaped. While it’s roughly the same size as the Magic Wand, the shape is different. The shape difference leads to a gap on the sides which causes Magic-Wand compatible caps to move a little AND not be touching all of the head so there’s vibration loss in transference. Not that it matters all that much, though…

Four black O-Wand attachments on a bed of oyster shellsWhen a vibrator is buzzy the buzzy vibrations just don’t travel through any protrusions on the head cap very well – case in point: the Tantus Rumble (which is too mild and buzzy) or the PalmPower (which has multiple issues). The same applies to the O-Wand attachments. The ridiculously-named O-La-La clitoral stimulation cap attempts to give you choices of broad or pinpoint stimulation but so much of the vibrations are lost in translation. Very little activity is felt in the protruding nub inside the cup, and the cup edge’s vibrations are moderate, buzzy, and easily killed with just a little pressure. The O-Spot, their insertable, transfers very little vibration. When I put the same cap on the Smart Wand Large the difference is staggering. The O-Gasm cap, for penises, transfers the most vibrations out of the three caps but again, it’s kinda buzzy. When you put that same cap on the Lelo Smart Wand Large it becomes a powerhouse, penetrating penis vibrator to rival the Hot Octopus Pulse but with vibrating wings.

So Magic Wand compatible attachments will sort of fit the O-Wand and vice versa. There is about a half-inch gap on the very top of O-Wand attachments when I put them on the Smart Wand Large but the protrusions are on the sides so it doesn’t matter. If you do decide to brave it and get the Lelo Smart Wand Large know that there are a few attachments from O-Wand that will work pretty well!

I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off

“Last year’s wishes are this year’s apologies”. Let’s get back to the original thing about the O-Wand that intrigued me: the handle. I loved the curved handle of the Lelo Smart Wand but the vibrations travel too well – what’s good for the head isn’t good for the hand and vibrations transfer up the handle fairly intensely. Not so with the Magic Wands or Doxy Wands but their bodies are all straight – great for use in a wand-compatible Liberator mount but not good for me to hold during lay-on-my-back positions. The only good aspect about the O-Wand is the handle and the button placement. The curve of the handle fits my body and the opening in the handle means I don’t need any real grip – I just need to slide my hand in. The buttons are within easy reach for my thumb – of course, that can bite you in the ass if they’re accidentally hit but I find that because I don’t need my thumb to grip, it happens less often. What if these features of the handle don’t matter to you? What’s it got goin for it, then, over the competition? Not much.

The handle is simply not “enough”for me to recommend this over other wands. Yes, it’s waterproof but so is the Smart Wand, the Sola Sync, the Dorr Avond, the Jimmyjane Iconic Wand, and more. Until a recent price drop the O-Wand was the most expensive wand vibrator on the US market – it used to retail at Shevibe for a whopping $249, a full $50 more than even the overpriced Smart Wand. It’s now on par with the Smart Wand, price wise, at $199. At $249 I would never have recommended it. The Magic Wand Rechargeable, which is slightly more powerful and rechargeable, is only $124; if you really want the broad AND the waterproof, you’ll have to pick the Smart Wand. If you want the power and the waterproof you can try the Sola Sync priced at $149.

I don’t hate the O-Wand. But what if I had never been poisoned by the need to prove/disprove their sensationalistic claims, would I be griping so much? I would definitely be bitching about the useless caps, yeah, but overall I would still be bored with the O-Wand. Meh. Salty about the price. I would still say “buy the Magic Wand Wand rechargeable”. A really great, versatile wand is somewhere out there on the sex toy horizon. The O-Wand isn’t it.

 

My thanks to SheVibe for sending me the O-Wand to check out, in exchange for my honest review. Thanks also to Bex, fellow FOB fanboy, for input on the section titles because I needed something to motivate me to write this.

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  1. Hereafter if you see any references in this post to the Smart Wand, please know I mean the Large – the medium is fucking useless
Aug 172017
 

4 Crave Vibrators for Comparison: Crave Flex, Crave Vesper, Crave Bullet and Crave Solo vibratorsAs I was working on my review of the Crave Bullet and contemplating the reviews of the Crave Solo and Crave Flex I realized I was going to spend a lot of time comparing them to each other in addition to comparing them to other compact vibrators – so why not just do a big comparison post? Before I continue, I want to get one thing settled – Crave isn’t a “first vibrator” brand. While I don’t think that everybody’s first vibrator should be mildly intense and extremely cheap, I also think that you need the experience of other vibrators to understand vibration type and intensity before spending money on something like a Crave vibrator. You have to know what your clitoris needs, and a good number of folks haven’t figured that out before trying a few vibrators.

ETA: After I published this review I was informed by SheVibe that they will stop carrying Crave products when their current stock is depleted, due to irreconciliable differences with the company. After hearing more, I’m much less likely to recommend Crave products now over other things. The way this company is doing business is shitty, frankly, and for most of their products there exists an equal or better version made by someone else.

Crave Vibrator Basics

There are a few things that should ring true for you to determine if a Crave vibrator is right for you:

  1. You like pinpoint clitoral stimulation
  2. You know you don’t need a powerhouse, rumbling motor like the We-Vibe Tango
  3. You probably can orgasm from a finger or tongue – eventually, or fairly easily. The more sensitive you are, the more powerful these will seem, of course.
  4. You like the “classic” fashion glam of their designs and don’t mind spending a little more – Crave vibrators range from $59 to $149.

Crave Vesper

Crave Vesper - showing the power button. If you wear it correctly it lays against you, not facing outward.The Crave Vesper has gained fame for being an actually decent piece of jewelry-meets-sex-toy kitsch that is even worn and raved about by celebs. I fell in love with the Vesper because it’s so very pinpoint and the vibrations were pretty decent. The Vesper taught me something about my clitoris – the more pinpoint, the better, and the less vibration I’ll need. Because while my first love will always be the rumbling and intense We-Vibe Tango, the Vesper is about half as intense yet still works – my orgasms won’t be as intense as they are from the Tango or the Womanizer, but they’re satisfying. It’s not weak, it’s not really buzzy and many who are more sensitive than I will call it “powerful”. 

I also love that it heats up – I swear that added heat really does make a difference for me. It brings in a little more blood flow and may be why the Crave Flex just isn’t quite my jam.

The added bonus of the Vesper being really pretty jewelry helps justify the price, in my eyes.  It ranges from $69 to $149 depending on the metal – if you like silver jewelry you’re in luck with the $69 version but if you’re stictly in love with gold you’ll be spending $149.

Crave Flex

Navy blue Crave Flex showing with the attached silicone cap off to see the charging plugSo the motor in the Crave Flex is the same as – or pretty damn close to – the Vesper but the silicone vs metal makes it feel a bit different in use. It took a lot of concentrating to see that it’s really similar, but I feel pretty safe saying it is. And I feel pretty safe comparing these motors to the Crave Bullet, as well. The difference all comes down to material, shape and execution.

The Crave Flex appealed to me aethestically – the navy blue and gold, the slender design – it’s pretty classy. In some ways it felt a little better than the Vesper because the silicone makes it feel just a slight hair more rumbly. But the Vesper’s heated siren song calls to my clit, too. In the end both the Flex and Vesper are about equally good at getting me off – not a super powerful orgasm but it does the job. For folks wanting to get into pinpoint vibrators that are not the intensity of the Tango, I’d definitely recommend this. I don’t have a lot to say about the Flex because there’s not much to find fault with. Sure, the charging cap is a little bothersome – I worry about getting fluids on the plug when the cap comes off because of the way I’ve held it. 

To prefer the Flex you’d have to know that you don’t want a rigid vibrator material (hated hard plastic bullets? You wouldn’t like the Vesper) and that you don’t need powerhouse intensity. It’s not squishy like Tenga Iroha vibes but the 1/2″ or so on the tip doesn’t have rigid plastic underneath and can flex. Flex. Accurately named, at least! Fear not, it comes in more colors like Black and Bright Pink.

Crave Bullet

Crave Bullet Vibe Stainless Steel with Silicone Cap off to the sideAs a clitoral vibe I’m unhappy with the Crave Bullet – this one is the worst execution of the motor that lives in the Flex and Vesper. The Bullet is really meant for folks who need to upgrade their watch-battery mini bullet that lives inside certain sex toys in situations where the superior We-Vibe Tango is too long. The vibrations of the Bullet are enough to give a significant power boost to small sex toys but it still disappoints in full-size or larger dildos. 

Despite the Bullet not being wearable, Crave decided to give it the same treatment as the Vesper – increased prices for different metals. $59 for the standard steel isn’t terrible but $99 for the gold-plated is too much to pay (for most). I’d recommend the Vesper or Flex over the bullet if you just need a pinpoint clitoral vibrator that isn’t intense. If you want to know which toys the Crave Bullet fits into or want a more in-depth review about the issues I had with it, check out the full review.

Crave Solo

Disassembled Crave Solo showing silicone covered vibrating portion and the function buttons on the bottomThe Crave Solo is more powerful than the Bullet, Flex or Vesper but it’s also more buzzy – and noisier. Crave’s marketing says:

“Nothing ruins a sexy moment like a loud buzz. The Solo is significantly more quiet than any other vibrator, enabling a wider range of possibilities for when and where you’ll use it.”

I definitely disagree. So many rechargeable clitoral vibrators on the market are really quiet and a good number are more quiet than the Crave Solo in use. If I hold mine in a certain direction something starts to rattle, contributing to it being the most noisy Crave vibrator I own. Will yours sound that way? Is mine a victim of poor quality control? Who knows.

The Crave Solo is significantly more expensive than the others, also – but it comes with it’s own leather case! Yay! Eh, not so fast. The case offers no function but is a case so it’s better than a cheap bag so why am I wasting words on it? Because it irks me, to be honest. Here we have a luxury vibrator that talks about a leather case, brags about it almost, so when I actually wrinkle my nose at the cheapness of the “leather case” I can’t not mention it. It’s made from either the finest shaving of true leather or bonded leather. The inside is lined with a very crinkly vinyl-like water-resistant material and because this still isn’t thick enough to be substantial, there’s cardboard in between the two materials so that the pouch holds a shape. The sides are open at the top and bottom, and the zipper is cheap. Given the overall price it just feels….insulting. I think I’m probably the only reviewer to complain about the case, ha. What can I say? When the price tag is $140, I’m going to be picky about everything.

Crave Solo isn’t the buzziest thing I’ve had the displeasure to review but it is just buzzy enough that I can’t get off with it. If we’re on a scale of 1 to 10 where 2 is the Dame Eva and 10 is the Tango, I’d say it’s about a 4? 3.5? Whereas the Flex and Vesper I’d put at like… 5.5ish. Maybe the Vesper is 5 and Flex is 5.5. Anyway, my point being: I just can’t come with the Crave Solo. It may have more power than the Flex but the lack of any discernible rumble is just killing me. It’s not pleasant to use and I’d recommend this Crave vibrator the least out of the models I own. 

And while I understand the need for the controls being where they are (the butt of the metal portion) the buttons leave a lot to be desired. It’s a clear silicone with a tiny circle and plus and minus that are incredibly difficult to see. The Crave Solo is definitely more substantial and larger than the Flex, Bullet and Vesper, by far. I was surprised at the size of it, actually.  The feel of it in hand, because of all the metal, is impressive and weighty without being “too”. The silicone-covered portion is as rigid as the metal handle.  It’s a pretty penny, $139 at Shevibe, and I really feel like there are better options on the market for most people. I’d rather recommend the We-Vibe Tango, We-Vibe Touch, Je Joue Mimi or even the Jopen Lust L2.5 to have something with more power and rumble.

Also: RTFM. I thought my Crave Solo was defective because it wasn’t charging when I plugged it into my USB hub. I gently disassembled the packaging and read the directions. After you plug it in you have to press the power button to begin charging the Crave Solo. This does not apply to any other Crave vibrator except the Crave Duet.

Crave Duet and Wink

The Crave Duet is the original Crave; there’s also a smaller all-silicone Crave Duet Flex. While I enjoy pinpoint vibrations I don’t enjoy that rabbit-ear clit-hugging style – plus I read too much about the Crave Duet having a lot of vibration dissonance (the motors doing a “wobbling” thing that mimics a pattern but in a bad way).  I think you’d have to really enjoy the rabbit ears on a stereotypical rabbit vibe to like the Duet.  The Duet is pretty pricey at $149 from Shevibe and is the more powerful of the two. The Duet Flex is less expensive, smaller and will have the same motor as the Flex. Check out Lunabelle’s review of the Duet Flex – I think if you’re going to go for one of the Duets, aim for the Flex. More affordable and easier to use.

The Wink is petite and pinpoint but reports say it’s fairly buzzy and mild so it immediately got nixed from my list. Sarah complained about the fact that it doesn’t even have a button – you have to twist the base like a cheap pocket rocket – and the fact that it’s powered by a single AAA battery. It’s $69 for a battery-powered single-speed vibrator which is just not worth anybody’s time.

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My personal tastes aside I will tell you that every Crave vibrator I own is really well made (except for that stupid leather case and the weird rattle in my Solo). There are no seams that stick out; the metal is body-safe and trustworthy. The silicone is silky and not a dust magnet. Their packaging is minimalist, creating as little waste as possible and is probably recyclable. There is a warranty on everything. Again, I may not like everything about all of their vibes but I have a lot of respect for how their products are made. I’d love to petition them for a motor that is closer to the Tango but beyond that? Kudos to Crave.

 

Most of these Crave vibrators were provided to me by SheVibe in exchange for my honest review; I purchased the Flex on my own. Check out the whole Crave line at SheVibe!

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