Jan 152017
 

Unless you’re new here, you know I’m really picky about remote-controlled vibrators. My perfect RC vibrator will:

  1. Be powerful and rumbly
  2. Have a remote that lets the remote holder know exactly what is going on
  3. Actually work from 2 feet away and across the room
  4. Not be terribly loud, so that it can be used in public

Most fail. Yet I keep on reviewing them because this is a Thing People Want and I really don’t have many great recommendations, but I keep trying. So why are most failing? Am I asking too much? Maybe. Apparently, Bluetooth doesn’t like to work when water is in the way and our bodies are mostly water. So if the antenna isn’t fully outside your body, then the Bluetooth connection will fail. This explains why the We-Vibe always failed for me, since the location of the antenna is always going to be covered by flesh. Used externally, while fully clothed, the Sola Pip worked fine but used internally (as intended) remote use was more spotty. Sometimes it worked amazingly well, 30 feet away, but sometimes it didn’t respond. I have no idea what caused it work well sometimes and not at all other times.

Out of the Box

Dark Lilac purple Sola Pip remote controlled vibrator - egg and remoteFor $93 you get a rechargeable, waterproof, silicone remote-controlled vibrator. There are faux-metal accents on both the bullet and the remote, and the retrieval cord on the bullet is stretchy silicone. The bullet is also a bit too big to comfortably use externally for some, due to its size: 1.6 inches long and about 1.2″-ish at the widest part. The USB charging cable jack plugs into a port in between the silicone retrieval cord1. There’s also a pleather-ish storage bag which actually isn’t awful. The Sola website claims it’s anti-bacterial yet doesn’t go into detail about that. There’s a 5-year warranty; again, good, but given the quality issues I’ve heard about with other Sola toys (like the Wand) I have some doubts that the company will be around that long. Yes, that’s me in the corner, being jaded and cynical. It states on their website in one place that a full charge gets you 1.5 hours, and in another place that a full charge gets you around 1 hour. I let the thing run for 1 hour on level 3 and it was still going by the time my patience ran out and I turned it off.

The Sola Pip Motor

When I read this part in the ad copy, I was intrigued (and suspicious): “The Sola Pip has one of the most powerful motors on the market! Deep rumbly vibrations are all yours with the Sola Pip.” The vibrations do seem rumbly and powerful at first, but as you go up in intensity it brings a little buzz to the party, and then a little more. In-hand it seems more rumbly but when surrounded by flesh the rumbles get dampened and the buzzes come more to the forefront. It’s tolerable and rumbly-ish when I used it externally as a “panty vibe”2 but inserted vaginally I only felt the buzzy underbelly and it felt downright uncomfortable. Like “get this vile beast out of me” levels of uncomfortable. It turns out that buzzy vibes used internally are like nails on a chalkboard for me. It is absolutely nothing like the rumbling power of L’amourose or others.

Honestly, the first level will probably be too intense, clitorally, for a good number of folks. Under best-case scenarios, I was able to easily orgasm from the 2nd of 5 intensity levels. In a fairly quiet room, the noise factor was too much to use it on anything above level 3 intensity, or any pattern, if you’re in public and in a semi-quiet place. Naturally, Sola claims it’s whisper-quiet. Sola also claims that the Pip has the most powerful motor on the market and I feel like they’re wrong. The Jopen Envy Fifteen remote controlled vibe was more powerful and rumbly. Other non-RC vibes are more powerful. I realize I’m focusing on weasel words here and this is why objective reviewers are necessary, but come on. You know I’m gonna call you out on that, Sola.

The Remote

The remote has a central power button – if you press the remote’s power button and then the vibrator’s power button, they sync up but don’t start vibrating. This is good. You can turn the power off on the remote to turn off the vibrations, but don’t need to re-sync the two to get started again. Also good. The remote is small and rechargeable, easy to hide (or lose) and sadly necessary for using the vibrator. If you lose the remote, the bullet won’t work. This is bad; terrible, in fact. But, of course, my biggest bitch is that the remote-holder has no idea what setting the vibrator is on unless they paid strict attention to what they’re doing. And most people won’t remember how many times they’ve pressed the buttons in either direction over the course of some fun times. Asking people to pay attention and count during sexy times is just wrong. Unless that’s your kink – but that is a whole other topic and not for this blog. 

Ehhh…No

Because this is an “egg” and Sola intends for the Pip to be used vaginally, I tried it that way as much as I could stand it. I tried it under the extreme condition of wearing it internally whilst standing up and moving around because yes, some folks will use it this way. I felt more vibrations heading towards my bowels than my g-spot, firstly but secondly and most important? 1.6″ doesn’t seem long but it was apparently too long. Between the vibrations and the moving around, it kept trying to poke its head out of my vag like an over-saturated tampon. Comfy, eh?

So the vibrations aren’t terrible. The Bluetooth isn’t actually abysmal. Why am I not recommending the Sola Pip? The remote and the price, mainly. And yes, I’m being picky. I realize that any lower price point will get you junky toys and prices over $100 require even more justification but I’m not in love with the Sola Pip, period, price notwithstanding. Just because it’s rechargeable and has a powerful3 motor doesn’t mean it’s worth the $93 price tag at Shevibe. It’s just not. Hysterical fact: It’s literally $1 more than the Jimmyjane Form 1 remote-controlled vibe (which also, naturally, claims to be the most powerful wearable vibrator because Jimmyjane) and at least the Form 1’s remote tells the remote-holder what is going on. Granted, I have not tried the Form 1 and I feel pretty sure that the Sola Pip’s motor will be more powerful than the Form 1 because obviously, but I’m just as shocked as you are that I had a good thing to say about a Jimmyjane product. I promise, that won’t last.

 

My thanks to Shevibe for sending me the Sola Pip in exchange for my brutally honest opinion!

  1. At first you won’t believe that’s where you shove the pin, but I promise, it is. And yes, afterward the silicone there does look “pierced” and different, but it’s also still waterproof. I dropped the egg into a large glass of water while it was running and it escaped unharmed
  2. because of my vulva and the way I was sitting to use it like this, there was a decent amount of pressure put on the egg, ergo rumble-dampening
  3. yes it’s powerful but slow down bucko, you’re not winning awards
Dec 122016
 

vibratex mystic rechargeable wandFive years ago I first reviewed the Mystic Wand and the two companion versions – the (old style) Mystic Rechargeable Wand and the Mini Magic Wand. In 2011 I wanted to like rechargeable vibrators more than I did; but the idea of having to pause only to swap out batteries felt more logical to me than a rechargeable which seemed to lose it’s high more quickly and when it was dead, it was dead – for a good 2-4 hours.  I always recommended the original, battery-powered version of the Mystic Wand because I loved the rumble and the power level was enough for me. I have always preferred the Mystic Wand to the Magic Wand, but I am nearly allergic to buzzy vibrations. Then Vibratex discontinued their rechargeable Mystic Wand in June 2014, with promises that they were working on something else. And so, I waited.

And waited.

And here I am, right back where I started, recommending the “old school” battery-powered Mystic Wand over the new Mystic Rechargeable Wand – and it’s not because of the rechargeable factor. In fact, Vibratex designed this to work even while it’s recharging. That may make for some awkward positioning to ensure you’re close enough due to cord restrictions, but if the Mystic Rechargeable Wand is your only vibrator on-hand, you can at least keep going.

Vibrations

With the original versions I detected no discernible difference between the motors when both were fully powered. The (old) Rechargeable lost it’s oomph pretty quickly, though. With the new Mystic Rechargeable Wand again I was searching for a difference in the motor and finally figured it out. They’re probably both the same intensity level but the Mystic Rechargeable Wand feels a little bit more buzzy. The vibrations travel through flesh a little bit less. And it’s just enough for my picky clitoris to notice.  It’s probably a difference that may not even be noticeable to some people but I’m so sensitive to a rumbly motor that I can tell when it slips from an 8 on the Rumble Scale to a 6.5.

I’ve been able to enjoy powerful orgasms from the original Mystic Wand, despite it being a (small) wand-style vibrator and me notoriously loving pinpoint clitoral stimulation. But the orgasms from the Mystic Rechargeable Wand have been a bit lackluster and mild. If you find that you don’t need the extreme power that backs most wand-style vibrators – you just need the broad stimulation- you could be really happy with the Mystic Rechargeable Wand.

Redesigned Body

Vibratex did something with the body redesign, making it look nearly nothing like the original Mystic Wand – and I love it. I love the curved handle. I love how easy it is to hold. There are THREE locations for the buttons! Three! Between the ultra-light design, the curve of the handle and the location of the buttons it is a wand well-suited to those with certain disabilities which may make holding a large, heavy or straight-handled wand more difficult. The location of the buttons also makes it much easier for a partner to use the Mystic Rechargeable Wand on you.  In short, it’s ergonomic and really well-designed. Mostly….

mysticwandbuttons

But the redesign comes with a problem that I can only hope they will fix – because it IS fixable. In order to put two buttons on the back side of the handle, a large portion of the plastic handle is covered in silicone. The silicone buttons are part of the silicone skin. The problem is that the glue holding the silicone skin on to the plastic is cheap. Terrible. After my first cleaning, I thought I rubbed too hard and easily slipped part of the silicone covering off with my thumb in one corner. As I gently peeled it back to see what happened, it kept on separating from the plastic body. You can see in the pictures below what is plastic and what is silicone because I wanted to see how easily it would peel off once a large portion had already started. Even just a small corner peeling back would definitely make cleaning impossible. As it stands now with the level of material separation I have, I’m not sure I should use it. It’s not waterproof, only splashproof, but I fear that the separation will negate even that.

mysticwandpeel

You may wonder why I reviewed this with the defect in the silicone covering. I would have waited if it were just mine but I’ve spoken to a few other folks who had this happen, too. I’m hoping it was a bad first batch, but we’ll see.  When I know that this issue has been resolved, I’ll update this review. Vibratex does have a warranty on this, so I plan to contact Vibratex and see if there’s anything they can do.

I do want to note that the head on the Mystic Rechargeable Wand is the same size head as the Original Mystic Wand, which means that the g-spot attachment will fit. As this is a smaller wand it will not work with Hitachi-compatible attachments.

Recommendation

I can’t recommend the Mystic Rechargeable Wand until I know that the silicone glue problem is fixed. I would recommend it for folks who know they don’t need seriuosly rumby vibrations or super-powered vibrations, or folks who need a smaller, easier to wield broad stimulation vibrator – AFTER Vibratex makes sure that this issue is fixed. Currently, the Mystic Rechargeable Wand is priced at $69.99 at SheVibe, while the battery-powered original Mystic Wand is $49.99.  There’s a lot of competition now in the mid-sized, rechargeable wand-style vibrator category, so Vibratex needs to fix this quality control issue.

 

Thanks to SheVibe for sending this over to me in exchange for my honest review!

Nov 202016
 

We-Vibe Sync in various positionsI’ve been reviewing the We-Vibe, Standard Innovations flagship sex toy, since it first came out in 2008. I’ve owned every major design except for We-Vibe 2. I’ve watched the changes they’ve slowly made, brought on by customer (and reviewer) feedback. Yet every time I’ve been disappointed by one prominent thing: The motor. As much as I have wanted to like it, the We-Vibe has never impressed me, not like the Tango. So when Standard Innovations approached me with the Sync I said yes because how can I not? When they promise a powerful motor, finally, I have to try it out. So many folks want the We-Vibe but I’ve never been able to fully recommend it – until I got my hands on the We-Vibe Sync. And the motor isn’t the only reason….those hinges? Damn ingenious. Now, the Sync isn’t perfect so hang on, we’ve got some things to cover.

Finally! More Power!

Now, to be fair, the We-Vibe Sync still isn’t the powerhouse I personally would like it to be – I’d like more power in the g-spot arm. I’ve heard some folks say it has the motor of the Tango, but I’m not convinced. On the lower settings? Sure. The clitoral arm is a lot more powerful than previous models, definitely, and pretty rumbly – except when you get to the upper level then the buzzy starts to take over more. The G-spot arm, though, is still buzzy and weak like it’s always been. It’s an irritating buzz and grating sort of barely-there vibration. In order to even notice it I have to turn the clitoral arm completely off. The sensation makes me want to never do it again. A pap-smear would be just as uncomfortable for me. How weak and buzzy is it? If a single, gentle, non-stinging bee were trapped in my vagina1, that’s about what it might feel like. I can understand the reasoning there – anything too powerful could just be overwhelming and distracting for the penis. Because, let’s not forget, the We-Vibe is a sex toy made specifically for PIV sex. It could be adapted for different types of sex, so long as there’s a vagina involved and it can be used as a solo sex toy for remote-controlled fun. But at its core it remains a… “couples” sex toy. I hate “couples” sex toys and the term so much that it’s painful for me to type it, or say it, without grimacing. Regardless, the “dual motors” thing feels like “well…..sort of” because that g-spot motor is just so barely-there. 

If a Sex Toy and PlayDoh Made a Baby

There’s something else though about the We-Vibe Sync that has me excited – unlike previous models the Sync can be shaped by you. The moveable joints remind me of the Je Joue G-ki, in a way – it requires effort, but it won’t change shapes while in use. These two moveable joints mean that one vibrator is going to fit a larger percentage of vulvas – previously there was only the loose fit (Classic) or the snug fit (such as the 4 Plus). Neither did well for me – the loose shape was too loose, the snug fit of the We-Vibe 4 was so snug and clampy that getting it in place was nearly as tough as getting a pair of Spanx on – but unlike the Spanx, the We-Vibe 4 Plus didn’t want to stay put. But now the configurations are seemingly endless. You can essentially make the “hinge” section very thin and snug, opened up more to resemble the “Classic” fit, opened up even more than that if you want while also angling the hinge in the middle of the g-spot arm to point it more in either direction. In fact the hinges can open up so much that it almost makes it ridiculous.  You may find that you’re worried about breaking the Sync until you master how to make the hinges work. I find that I have to put pressure on and push at the hinge vs just opening it up like a book, and sort of push the hinge back. It’s very difficult to explain in text so hopefully this video will help.  It takes effort and hand strength and dexterity so if you lack these because of any reason – arthritis, disability, etc – this may not be ideal for you.

Other Improvements

Over time We-Vibe products have seen evolutions of charging methods. Their Nova was the first to have a much better magnetic charging spot, and the We-Vibe Sync sports the same – for two reasons. The first is that Lelo, being the assholes they are, bought out somebody’s unused patent for induction charging – which is how We-Vibe Couples vibes have charged ever since they started coming with a cover. You plug the cradle in and set the form inside. No magnets, no plugs. It was a bit finicky and you had to get it just-so. Now that they need to use the magnetic charging, the base is awesome. I don’t have to guess at how the We-Vibe is supposed to set in the cradle, it’s obvious. And that magnet is really strong. I can pick up the We-Vibe Sync while it’s charging and it won’t disconnect!

Connectivity Still Sucks

I’ve had so much trouble using the We-Connect app, no matter what We-Vibe toy I’m using it with but the We-Vibe Sync and 4 Plus are nightmares. The Bluetooth connection drops if I shut my legs; if I’m wearing clothing; if I’m not spread-eagle with the phone near my crotch. Not ideal.  This isn’t good for a public-play toy until this is fixed and it’s not the best for sex, but not terrible.

A lot of other folks have reported trouble with the app crashing, but mine hasn’t been crashing (I’m using Android). 

Will It Fit Your Body? Can I Recommend the We-Vibe Sync?

There’s the rub. Yeah, the hinges means it’ll fit more vulvas. And with a little, or maybe a lot of, trial-and-error you can find that perfect bending of the hinges which means the We-Vibe Sync will stay in place during sex for you. But maybe not. And that’s still going to be the biggest problem I have with a sex toy like this – I cannot predict if it’ll stay in place during PIV sex for you. I can tell you that if the penis you’re having sex with feels borderline-too-big or “just exactly perfect”, the Sync may make it so that your vagina is like an overstuffed suitcase – it’ll be painful and the Sync will move more with your movements because the penis will rub against it even more. I personally cannot wear this during PIV sex, there’s no spare room for it.

So yeah, there are major improvements. I still have some reservations and I don’t love it with all my heart like I do the Tango, Touch, Rave and Nova. I want the clitoral arm vibrations to stay rumbly at their highest power. I want the g-spot arm to be rumbly and not worthless. I want the damn Bluetooth to work on larger bodies and through clothing. BUT! The We-Vibe Sync is definitely more powerful than the Lelo Tiani 3, and will fit a larger range of vulvas. I feel like I can finally tell you to purchase a We-Vibe if you’re dead-set on a “couples sex toy” meant for PIV sex; sadly all this innovation comes with a high price tag, because of course, so it’s $199 at SheVibe.com.

I was provided this item in exchange for my honest review by We-Vibe.

  1. humor me here
Aug 212016
 

Tenga Iroha Kushi vibratorThe Tenga Iroha Kushi is many things. Cute. Pinpoint. Soft. Plush. Rumbly. Powerful. Is it any wonder that I immediately fell in love with the Iroha Kushi and simultaneously cursed myself for having given away, years ago, my Iroha Midori? The Midori wasn’t for me; it wasn’t very rumbly and I didn’t feel it was powerful enough, nor was the squishy bits in the right place for me (or a necessary feature for me). But now I wish I had it for comparion sake because I felt so blown away by the power and rumble of the the Tenga Iroha Kushi – shocked, in fact! My contact at Tenga confirmed though that the Iroha+ line improved upon the originals with a waterproof design and a better, more powerful motor.

When you first look at the Iroha+ line, the Kushi, Yoru and Tori all have a very Japanese aesthetic, and look nothing like you’d imagine a vibrator looking but also leave you really unsure on where the motor might lie. And that’s a really important thing to know when you have vibrators that seem to have a heavy lean towards how they look vs how they may work. But unlike some brands that go for an artistic look and fail in execution I’m so far really impressed with the Tenga Iroha+ line; I’ve only tried the Kushi and Yoru but read many glowing reviews on the adorable red bird, the Tori (and now I want a Tori to round out my collection).

Ruffles Has Ridges

I was really worried about the ridges on the  Tenga Iroha Kushi, if I’m honest. I thought they’d be a deal breaker. I knew that the Iroha line has a unique silicone skin that feels like literally nothing else on the market, and that the ridges would still be pliable, but I dislike ridge texture on my sex toys and really hate anything that makes my sex toys harder to clean. Let’s face it, I’m pretty lazy. I don’t want to need more than my sex toy wipes or a quick rinse under the faucet to clean up a toy. But given the way I used the Kushi I didn’t get a lot of fluids into the deeper portion of the ridges so while clean-up was sometimes more effort than I wanted it to be, it wasn’t horrible. I think that they could have achieved the same visual appeal without such pronounced ridges. The way I use the Kushi meant that I never felt the ridges. Although I guess that when I use it whilst holding it (versus my other more lazy method described further down) the ridges did make it easier to grip, so there’s that….

Tenga Iroha Kushi is Smooshy. Squishy!

A lot of people dislike using hard vibrators, and even most small silicone vibrators are hard – they just have a silicone skin over a hard plastic body. So the entire Tenga Iroha line has really been something amazing for many folks who need to try a little tenderness. But the Tenga Iroha Kushi, and really all of the Iroha+ line, have been the first to impress me with squish AND power.

Imagine you have a soft, new piece of posterputty. Maybe Plah-doh. That’s what squeezing the tip of the Iroha Kushi is like. It’s pliable, soft, and moves with you when you use the tip to rub around the clitoris. There’s squish at the top of the “dome”, where the ridges are the most intense. There’s squish around the edges at the bottom, on what I’ll call the “front” portion, which is closer to the tiny tip. But it’s not a big vibrating marshmallow and can you press in with fingers and feel the hard inner bits. I haven’t been able to discern this when my vulva and clitoris are in contact with the vibrator. I could apply pressure and didn’t feel like the softness impeded anything or dampened the vibrations. BIG PLUS.

Impressive Vibrations

One test for me is whether or not I can nestle a vibrator in between my outer labia whilst sitting at my computer (my usual time and place for masturbation) and still love it. This positioning often dampens the vibrations of lesser species because of all the flesh surrounding the sex toy. With the Tenga Iroha Kushi I can situate it so that the tip is against my most sensitive spot and the rest of the body is hitting the area around my clitoris – so it’s kind of a combination of pinpoint with slightly-broad stimulation? And it works so fabulously well. The vibrations are not the most rumbly out there and I do detect a nuance of buzz at the upper levels but it’s not enough to bother me (and I feel like I have my buzzdar pretty well honed by now). However I still am gonna classify the Iroha+ line as rumbly and a great improvement over all other Iroha products. Good job, Tenga! It’s also super quiet – in the video above I turned it on during the last few moments and it’s pretty hard to hear the motor.

The motor really seems to be focused in the tip, and I didn’t get as much intense power if I tried using the ridged broad top of the Kushi as I did when I used the tip – but it’s still a nice amount of power there. And because the tip is so pinpoint, the vibrations feel more concentrated and for my clitoris this was a big win – I could target that one little spot on the right and orgasms were effortless and fairly intense. Another thing I love: with the motor so close to that tip, I don’t feel much vibration at the back end where I hold it, so it won’t make your fingers itchy with extended use.

Easy Charging and Storage

Tenga Iroha Kushi Terrarium ClocheLike with all of the soft Iroha line, the charger is part of the storage box – magnetic, easy and foolproof. The very sturdy thick plastic box has a clear top and a black bottom which I really wish I could paint a shade of blue or something. I feel like you could stick a few beachy things inside the storage case and make like it’s a little ….. well…. beach terrarium except without living things? As you can see from a photo I shot months ago, the Kushi blends in well with seashore themed things and when I posted the photo on Twitter a lot of people didn’t know where the vibrator was. So yeah I felt compelled to terrarium it up here.

I should note that at this point in the review I was looking for a word that better described a decorative display of little things under a glass dome, and someone suggested terrarium and I’m like no that’s really about plants and stuff right? and then I lost two hours on Etsy looking at the adorbs terrariums out there and imagined filling my house with them because maybe those I can’t kill? I’m fawning over these terrariums with miniature landscapes, these more modern air plant terrariums, and more. Someone rescue me.  Or make me a deep forest terrarium that I can insert this into and I’ll be happy.

BACK TO THE REVIEW Y’ALL.

Please note: the black portion of the case is the charging base and it can be charged with the lid on. Contrary to the vague descriptions the manufacturer makes in their copy, the charging base does need to be plugged in, it’s not like it’s got a battery in it that you can charge up like an external phone power pack or something. But man, wouldn’t that be really cool if it did?!?!

Here’s the long and short of it: I really love the Tenga Iroha Kushi. It’s not Tango powerful, but it’s still enough for me. It’s nice to hold, it’s adorable to look at and therefore super discreet. It’s waterproof so cleaning is easy. I’m digging the vibrations, the placement of the motor and how easy it is to use. I’d say the only thing I don’t love is the price: $129 currently at SheVibe.com. But it’s a quality product from a reputable company and I really feel good about telling you to buy this.

Tenga sent me this amazing lil vibrator in exchange for my very honest review. You can purchase the Tenga Iroha Kushi from my favorite retailer, Shevibe.com. I’ll be reviewing the more oddly-shaped Yoru soon, but will tell you now I don’t love it nearly as much as I love the Kushi.

 

 Posted by at 12:05 pm
Jul 192016
 

Satisfyer Pro 2 review

Update: A new version is out, and you can read more about it (and how Satisfyer and Womanizer models compare) here.

I need to start off by saying that I’m a bit reluctant to like and recommend the Satisfyer Pro 2.  And no, it’s not because of the y-instead-of-i cutesy spelling that reminds me of that sex toy store we won’t talk about anymore. It’s because I find rip-off designs to be problematic. It’s because I think epi24 has a patent pending on the Womanizer and if they’ve patented “pulsating air” coming out of a silicone nozzle focused on a clitoris, then the company who makes Satisfyer is going to be in deep shit. It’s also because the Satisfyer Pro 2 is a fraction of the price and is waterproof, unlike the Womanizer. I have maintained in each review of the Womanizer that the price is way too fucking high. But the Satisfyer Pro 2 is $60 whereas the Womanizer W500 (also sometimes called the “Pro” version) is $220 at SheVibe, and the W100 is $160. Satisfyer has made every effort to be like the Womanizer, right down to a cutesy name, a removable silicone head with a cone nozzle and the “touchless” aspect. So the drastic difference in price has me skeptical, yet unsure at this point who to direct this skepticism at – is the Womanizer trying to empty our bank accounts, whereas the Satisfyer is much more accurately and reasonably priced? Or is the Satisfyer Pro 2 so affordable that one has to wonder what the catch is? Where is the Satisfyer Pro? If there’s not a 1, why is there a 2? Was there a non-Pro version? Who is this Pro – the user it’s marketed towards, or the device itself? Am I really this jaded? All valid questions, folks. 

Is the Satisfyer Pro 2 a copy cat of the Womanizer?

Satisfyer Pro 2 head vs Womanizer W500 headYes, this is identical “technology” to the Womanizer, but it lacks a little finesse in the end result. The Womanizer W100 has only 5 speeds but lets you push the power button to quickly return to the lowest speed if you need to take a little break in the intensity to slow down your orgasm that is potentially hurtling towards you like an out-of-control 18-wheeler coming down the mountain with failing brakes. The Womanizer W500 has a plus and minus button to explore the various settings. Yes, I hate the placement of said buttons on the W500, but at least the easier option is there. With the Satisfyer Pro 2 you have to cycle through 11 settings and then go backwards through those settings. I do not fucking have time or patience to cycle through 11 1 settings. And oddly the “lower” settings feel more intense to me because when you make the pulsating air faster instead of slow/punchy, the upper levels just start to feel like kinda-buzzy vibration. I dislike the upper few levels, yet I’m forced to experience them twice if I want to increase and then decrease the settings – this is insulting, infuriating and confusing. I loved the lower settings on the Womanizer W100 and W500 because, for me, they were great “foreplay” – they kinda felt like oral sex, and definitely felt different from vibrations. It felt also kinda like tapping or the most something could really feel like a tongue without making clitoral contact. Those first few levels on the W100 felt so good to me that I didn’t want to orgasm too quickly, I wanted to continue to experience the sensations. Only the first two or three settings on the Satisfyer Pro 2 feel this way to me BUT they still lack the subtleties and nuances of the first few levels of the Womanizer, before things start to get to be super intense and kinda blurry. By the second setting my lower abdomen is contracting from the intensity of it all, if that makes sense. With the Womanizer, either of them, there’s an obvious difference between each setting. Maybe a little less so on the W500 when you get into the upper intensity levels, but it’s still discernible. With the Satisfyer the differences between the levels are minute and so I don’t know where I am with all that clicking.

If we’re going to go with my odd, Lilly-esque metaphors, it’s like Womanizer W100 is the teenager, all slender and dressed in fashions that scream for attention; the Womanizer W500 is the adult with more power and a refined sense of style; the Satisfyer Pro 2 is the toddler just learning to count, loudly screaming the first few numbers in succession, rushing from “1, 2, 3” to “9, 10, 20, 100!” – while wearing a tasteful princess dress? Okay these odd metaphors have quickly gone to a bad place.  And yes, in literal terms, the Satisfyer Pro 2 is louder than the Womanizers. Same type of noise, just louder.

I prefer the body design of the Satisfyer Pro 2 over the Womanizer W500 which has always felt like holding a potato. An awkward potato. Yes, I also like the color better. It’s a pale copper. Maybe rose gold? It surely is less gaudy and ugly than the Womanizer W100 designs. It might actually match the iPhone 6 colors. HEY – IT’S NOT PINK! Surely that will please a bunch of you.  I think I also prefer the head on the Satisfyer – the opening of the cone is blunted whereas the opening of the cone on the Womanizer heads has an edge – that edge can be a little irritating when you apply pressure to get a better seal. Also: Fewer seams than the Womanizers. In terms of aesthetics of the Satisfyer 2 I actually don’t have anything to complain about.

I need to also say at this point that I’m already really irritated with typing “Satisfyer”. I hate that spelling. I hate it a lot less than calling a sex toy “Womanizer”, though. I hate it less than cliched ideas of what clitoris-owning people want something to look like. At least the design of the Satisfyer Pro 2 is more gender neutral? So it has that going for it.

Jesus Fuck On Wheels This Is Intense

Here’s what I need you to know about the Satisfyer: It’s intense. On the one hand, it’s good – it consistently gives me an amazing and strong orgasm. The kind where my chest looks sunburnt, my face looks like I’ve had 2 shots of vodka. But they boast that the “touchless” technology allows for multiple orgasms. I was able to do that with the Womanizer because I was easily able to go back down to the stimulating-yet-gentle first level and leave it there to ride out my intense orgasm. With the Satisfyer I’m playing a game of chicken with my clitoris, leaving it on as long as I can stand it before I yank it off post-orgasm. The Satisyfer Pro 2’s first power level is equivalent to about level 4 of 5 on the Womanizer.  The Satisfyer, unlike the Womanizers, is completely waterproof and they say that using it under water makes it even more intense – I don’t have a tub, but I don’t think I’d want it to be more intense. This is coming from someone with a self-proclaimed clit-o-steel, a clitoris that responds well to deep, rumbling pinpoint vibrations.

Just like the Womanizer, the Satisfyer Pro 2 doesn’t rely on vibration or true suction, it relies on pulsating air. When you combine this forced air with a nozzle that creates a seal there will be a tiny, teeny bit of suction going on but after experiencing an item with actual, intentional suction I can tell you that one shouldn’t buy a Womanizer or Satisfyer expecting clitoral suction.

Satisfyer Pro 2 compared to the Womanizer W100 and Womanizer W500 - who will win the crown?

I am really fucking torn on this. The price is easier to swallow for those who want to try out this new style of clitoral stimulation, but the high intensity is going to be too much for some people. It’s damn near too much for me on some days, to be honest. It has all of the subtlety of a jackhammer. If you know you like pinpoint clitoral stimulation and you know you want quicker orgasms without the build-up or you know you need high-intensity sex toys, then try the Satisfyer Pro 2. Honestly if the Womanizer didn’t exist I think I would feel differently about the Satisfyer (and I would love it) but it is impossible not to heavily compare these items. Without the super high price tag of the Womanizer I would be thrilled to see a moderately affordable sex toy that can produce such intense sensations while being waterproof and rechargeable. The Satisfyer Pro 2 has, without fail, brought me to an intense orgasm every time I’ve used it. My reservations are that I personally dislike how you must use it (cycling through all 11 settings and back again) and that it is a copy of the Womanizer technology. However for those who are less concerned about the political aspects of copycat designs and simply want to experience a powerful, focused clitoral stimulator at a price that won’t break the bank? I think this might be your ticket.

Update: Please see this post for information on the new and old version of the Satisfyer Pro 2, as well as how the Satisfyer and Womanizer models compare: 

Womanizer vs Satisfyer - a line up of the 3 Womanizer models and the Satisfyer Pro 2

My thanks to Shevibe for sending me a Satisfyer Pro 2 in exchange for my unfailingly honest review. SheVibe is also the generous sponsor of my upcoming trip to Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit 2016.

 

 

  1. really, 20, if I want to try out a little more and then get back to the first setting
 Posted by at 4:51 pm
Apr 032016
 

Jopen Lust L2.5I picked up the Jopen Lust L2.5 during a big Black Friday sale because I’d heard a few other reviewers rave about it (or the nearly-identical Lust L2). You’re getting a good deal for $49; powerful, rechargeable, waterproof. While it isn’t as useful as the Tango because the Tango can replace similarly shaped bullet vibes that insert into dildos, some people just want a powerful clitoral vibe that isn’t quite as pricey as the Tango at $79. So with hopes very high and expecting awesome things with no drawbacks, I got the Jopen Lust L2.5, finally.

Historically I’ve not had great luck with Jopen toys and Jopen warranty service; at least 4 Jopens I’ve received for review had to be sent back (at my dime, usually, unless SheVibe stepped in) for warranty replacement before I could even write my review. More than one Jopen vibe gets unusually warm during use which isn’t listed as a “feature” so I assume it’s not supposed to happen (and was told that with their early Envy line that it wasn’t a feature). Thankfully for me so far the Lust L2.5 has held up but just like I warn about Lelo’s customer service, I want to be transparent about Jopen issues. While Jopen toys are “powered by Powerbullet” (BMS Enterprises) and the line started off as the US-counterpart of the Swan (Leaf) brand, Jopen is a CalExotics line.

Ok But That Fucking Button

When you have such a small vibrator the places to put the button are limited. With the Tango I never accidentally hit the button because I don’t hold it in such a way that I would. But with the Jopen Lust L2.5, the only way for me to comfortably hold it during use has my thumb resting right on the button. There’s no getting around that. The number of times I have accidentally turned it off? I’ve lost count. The way Jopen’s single buttons work is that you have to press and hold to turn on and then press and hold to increase the vibrations. So a single, easy click of a button shuts it off. For me, the constant accidental shut-off took my theoretical rating from an 8.5/10 to a 6/10. I find it THAT annoying. It’s been an orgasm-ruiner because of this. Sometimes I’ve been able to overlook oddly placed buttons or buttons that require a bit of contortionist hands or buttons that require strength to press or even buttons that are an ugly rhinestone. If I love the vibrator enough I can overlook that. So I don’t know why this button issue has me so irritated. Maybe because I’d read reviews that got me hyped up to think it was as great a vibe as the Tango? I also think my button hatred issues stem from the fact that I’m not accustomed to the Jopen way of life, where you have to remember to press-and-hold the button to increase your speed during use. The vast majority of my vibrators do not work that way. My brain, especially in the hormonal haze of masturbation or sex, forgets that this one is different. And so, I shut it off accidentally. Every. Damn. Time.  If you don’t think this is gonna be an issue for you, then you’ll enjoy it more than I do.

Jopen Lust L2.5 Button

People have complained about the lack of travel-lock on the Touch and Tango. I never experienced an issue, especially after buying a protective case. So while you may be excited about the travel-lock feature on the Jopen please be aware: You may think your Jopen is defective at first. It arrives in travel-lock mode; click three times in a row and the button will glow red for a second. Okay, great, we’re done. NOPE. Every damn time you charge it it goes right into travel-lock mode after you pull out the charging pin. Annoying.

Good Vibrations? Lust L2.5 vs Tango

Speaking of the Tango, you can’t not compare the two even though, shape-wise, they’re nothing alike. The vibrations of the Jopen Lust L2.5 are strong and just nearly as rumbly as the Tango on the lower settings. But when you ramp up the intensity of the Lust L2.5, the rumbly changes to something with some buzz to it. It’s got this itchy edge to it on high that which is definitely not a hallmark of rumbly. From some reviews I expected it to be just as rumbly as the Tango but I should have known better – I have other Jopen toys and none are quite as rumbly as a Tango or Rave or Prism V. They’re good; I like many of them. But as I’ve said before my genitals are a diving rod for true rumble. If you’re looking for a truly deep, rumbling, powerful and pinpoint clitoral vibe I’ve gotta tell you to save up for that Tango. I’ve been keeping the Jopen Lust L2.5 as my backup for when all 5 Tangos are dead (yes, that happens, I’m lazy at charging). But in order to keep the peace while using it, I can’t hold it.  I sometimes get the same amount of run-time from the Jopen Lust L2.5 as I do from the Tango, but the Lust L2.5 takes 2.5 hours to reach a full charge. Tango is a fraction of that time. I’ve also had situations where I swear that I’m only getting 15-20 minutes of run time with the Lust L2.5 and I’m not even using it on high. I’ve had it die on me during use more times than any other sex toy in recent history. Sometimes I can have the patience of just 5-7 minutes to charge the Tango just enough to quickly get me off if I need to but that will never happen with the Jopen Lust L2.5.

Jopen Lust L2.5 vs We-Vibe Tango

I’m also torn on how to talk about the intensity of the vibrations because, unlike the Tango, the Jopen Lust L2.5 suffers from severe vibration dampening when any pressure is applied or it is surrounded by fleshy labia. The dampening is actually kind of a good thing though because it tones down the bit of buzz I feel on the higher settings and lets the rumble side shine through a little better on the lower settings. But with the way I use the Lust L2.5, how fleshy my labia are, etc….I am getting so much vibration dampening that it’s a drastic change from how powerful it feels when you turn it on and just hold it in your hand. It’s then that I realize that it’s better than the Lelo Mia 2 but it’s not up to par with the vibrations of the Touch and definitely not the Tango.

Love. Hate. Love. Hate.

I think that for the price, this is a great little vibe. It’s not the best, it’s not better than the Tango, but it is one of the better vibes around $50 – you’d have to up your budget to $79+ to find a better vibe. So who would love this? Who will be satisfied? I think you’d have to be someone who simply cannot save up for the Tango in the foreseeable future. Or maybe you already know that seriously rumbly, seriously powerful toys are not quite your thing, that you want moderately-to-very rumbly. Then you’d prefer the Jopen Lust L2.5.  You have to be someone who is able to roll with the change from the norm in button style, and who can hold it in such a way that you don’t accidentally turn it off. I don’t feel that the vibe being covered in a thin silicone skin makes it any more comfortable to use than the Tango, but I do feel like it’s a little bit easier to hold given the grippy silicone and the overall shape.  The main difference between the Lust L2 and L2.5 is the ridges right below the head – if you’re someone who likes movement, rubbing, friction, etc with your vibrations, you’ll want the Lust L2.5. If you want to use a vibrator and not worry about lube then pick the slick, shiny plastic of the Tango. And while I do love that the Jopen Lust L2.5 doesn’t waste my time with pulsating patterns I’ll just ignore, if you need those then you’re out of luck here.

This review, and my feelings about the toy, kinda remind me of the Palmpower Wand. When I finally got my hands on it I was shocked by how much I hated it and how much others loved it. No, I don’t hate the Jopen Lust L2.5, but I feel a lot differently about it than most. It absolutely does bring me to orgasm, and a good strong orgasm at that so it’s not a total loser. It’s just not the best in class, unless your budget limitations are firm. I feel like this could have gone over better with me if the button were different, if it weren’t such an orgasm-ruiner.

 

 Posted by at 2:07 pm