Category: External Vibrator

The Tenga Iroha Kushi is many things. Cute. Pinpoint. Soft. Plush. Rumbly. Powerful. Is it any wonder that I immediately fell in love with the Iroha Kushi and simultaneously cursed myself for having given...

I need to start off by saying that I’m a bit reluctant to like and recommend the Satisfyer Pro 2. And no, it’s not because of the y-instead-of-i cutesy spelling that reminds me of that sex toy store we won’t talk about anymore. It’s because I find rip-off designs to be problematic. It’s because I think epi24 has a patent pending on the Womanizer and if they’ve patented “pulsating air” coming out of a silicone nozzle focused on a clitoris, then the company who makes Satisfyer is going to be in deep shit. It’s also because the Satisfyer Pro 2 is a fraction of the price and is waterproof, unlike the Womanizer. I have maintained in each review of the Womanizer that the price is way too fucking high. But the Satisfyer Pro 2 is $60 whereas the Womanizer W500 (also sometimes called the “Pro” version) is $220 at SheVibe, and the W100 is $160. Satisfyer has made every effort to be like the Womanizer, right down to a cutesy name, a removable silicone head with a cone nozzle and the “touchless” aspect. So the drastic difference in price has me skeptical, yet unsure at this point who to direct this skepticism at – is the Womanizer trying to empty our bank accounts, whereas the Satisfyer is much more accurately and reasonably priced? Or is the Satisfyer Pro 2 so affordable that one has to wonder what the catch is? Where is the Satisfyer Pro? If there’s not a 1, why is there a 2? Was there a non-Pro version? Who is this Pro – the user it’s marketed towards, or the device itself? Am I really this jaded? All valid questions, folks.

I picked up the Jopen Lust L2.5 during a big Black Friday sale because I’d heard a few other reviewers rave about it (or the nearly-identical Lust L2). You’re getting a good deal for $49; powerful, rechargeable, waterproof. While it isn’t as useful as the Tango because the Tango can replace similarly shaped bullet vibes that insert into dildos, some people just want a powerful clitoral vibe that isn’t quite as pricey as the Tango at $79. So with hopes very high and expecting awesome things with no drawbacks, I got the Jopen Lust L2.5, finally.

Historically I’ve not had great luck with Jopen toys and Jopen warranty service; at least 4 Jopens I’ve received for review had to be sent back (at my dime, usually, unless SheVibe stepped in) for warranty replacement before I could even write my review. More than one Jopen vibe gets unusually warm during use which isn’t listed as a “feature” so I assume it’s not supposed to happen (and was told that with their early Envy line that it wasn’t a feature). Thankfully for me so far the Lust L2.5 has held up but just like I warn about Lelo’s customer service, I want to be transparent about Jopen issues.

I’ve used The Womanizer more, and in various ways, since I first spoke about it; I haven’t learned much, honestly. Yet I still named it one of the Best Sex Toys of 2015 because I like it that damn much. I’m gonna just write about it and apologize. I feel like I’ve failed you, readers. I still haven’t figured out what makes me like the Womanizer so much. I still haven’t figured out who will love it and who will hate it. I have discovered what happens when you (as I warned against) use it during your period. I’ve resisted the temptation to crack the fucker open like a lobster[1. Really it’s only because if I crack it open I won’t ever be able to use it again and I like it too much to kill it]. So hey, let’s just get on with The Most Useless Review I’ve Ever Written.

That really boosted your confidence in me, eh?

The Eva by Dame Products was a crowd-funded vibrator – the Indiegogo campaign raised 1000% more money than they asked for. So while I remained skeptical, I thought “With all that extra money there’s...