Nov 272014
 

In case you’re new here, let’s review the rules. Everybody’s year-end lists differ;  I try to keep it to sex toys that have been introduced to the public this calendar year as much as possible. For the “Best” toys I only rank the ones I’ve used and loved.  For the “Worst” list I’ve gone outside my normal rules – I just didn’t review very many “new this year” sex toys that I really and truly loathed. Curious to see how I’ve ranked things in years past? I’ve got lists from 2013, 2012, and 2011.  This year’s list is quite different. For one, there’s no dildo! I wasn’t wowed by any dildos I tried this year that were new to the market. This is also the first year that toys for the penis/prostate made the list – not once, but twice!  Onward, to the Best Sex Toys of 2014! (and the worst)

Interested in picking up one or two of these for the holidays? Check out the Black Friday / Cyber Monday sales!

Best Sex Toys of 2014

rosarougeBest Vibrator

L’amourose Rosa Rouge – So amazing. It’s technically a g-spot / prostate vibe, but I ended up liking it best as a clitoral vibe. The vibrations are phenomenal –super powerful and deeply rumbling– and the warming feature actually does enhance the vibrations. This vibrator from newcomer French company L’amourose had me so crazy in love that I emailed SheVibe within minutes of my first orgasm to say “Please stock this!!” Runner up would be the plain Rosa – same great design and vibrations, minus the warming heated shaft.

Tenga Iroha MinamoBest Vibrator ~ Honorable Mention

Tenga Iroha Minamo – This is nearly the polar opposite of the L’amourose Rosa Rouge! Not for anyone who needs powerful vibrations or filling girth, this is great for those who need the opposite – a softer touch. The plush body and decently moderate vibrations combine with a slender shaft to finally offer those who think Less is More a great vibrator.  It works really well as either an internal or external vibrator and has a lot more obvious squish to it than it’s sister vibe, the Mikazuki.  It’s not a vibrator that I love for myself, but because it fills a gaping hole in the sex toy world – slender, decent and soft.

PulseVibratorforMenBest Cock Toy

Hot Octopuss Pulse – The vibrator for the penis, stupidly called the “guybrator”. It can be used as a vibrating stroker, but in our house it’s best when held at the frenulum while he lays back to enjoy the sensations. It surprised both of us, and really went above and beyond expectations.  Unique in design, it boasts super powerful vibrations and is really easy to use. Also hailed as a couples toy, we felt it didn’t perform in that arena but as a solo toy for him, it was so awesome. Keep an eye out though, Pulse 2 will hit the stores by February.

Jopen Lust L12 Prostate VibratorBest Prostate Massager

Jopen Lust L12 – This little guy has everything but the girth – powerful, rumbling vibrations with pulsating patterns and both ends vibrate to hit the prostate from inside and out. Jopen tried to play it off as a vibrator for either g-spot or prostate, but the design and size really fail as a g-spot & clitoris dual stim vibe. Available in hot pink or grey, it’s rechargeable and only $69 at Shevibe.

PleasurePurseBest Accessory

Pleasure Purse – I love this bag; it’s so versatile. It’s a weekender bag, it’s an inconspicuous storage option for the closet, it’s lockable and it’s very well made. Pockets galore with a black leather exterior ensure a place for everything. The stitching is well done and will hold up, plus the zippers are good quality and won’t jam. I filled it up with a lot of stuff for a weekend away, and then crammed it full of sex toys just to test the capacity.

TouchCompareMost Improved

We-Vibe Touch – I wasn’t in love with the first gen We-Vibe Touch but their upgrade brought in silky, matte-finish silicone and much less vibration dampening from the silicone. The Touch no longer picks up all the dust in a 3 foot radius, and feels much stronger than the old version. Sure, I still love the Tango more, but now I can finally recommend the Touch. Good job, We-Vibe!

ovoBest Choice for Beginners

OVO - I’m not even picking a single toy here. I’ve only reviewed the K2, but I had the chance to check out a good portion of the line in person. Shevibe carries a lot of the models and everything is under $50; many are under $30! The vibrations are more rumbly than buzzy and they’re moderate (this applies to most of the items – I’ve seen only negative reviews for the cock rings, so avoid those, and the vibrations on their mini external bullets, W1 and W2 are best left on the shelf). Great for newbies and those who don’t need extreme power. Their 15 year warranty is pretty much unprecedented in the sex toy biz. Made from silicone and ABS plastic, you’ve got a lot to choose from in this line. My only gripe is that the company doesn’t know how to measure a sex toy; they’ve measured from the widest portion –often the handle– and not just the widest usable portion. This led to some really skewed measurements. I’m trying to get better measurements, but if you have your eye on a certain model or have a size requirement, ask me and hopefully I can help narrow it down!

 

Worst Sex Toys of 2014

Lelo  anything – Lelo really fucked up this year. Their Smart Bead seems to be mostly gimmick and that fucking “cock ring for BANKERS”? Uh uh. Nope. That video is so offensive and the marketing campaign as a whole pretty much shits on their overall image. So glad I quit last year.

Fun Factory Amorino – Take a mediocre rabbit-style vibe and add a silicone “rubber band”. It’s as dumb as you’re imagining. And painful, to boot. I had an experience that ripped a few hairs out.

Jimmyjane Form 4 – The review that caused Jimmyjane to think I’m being paid off to hate them so much. I hated the Form 4 so much, and for so many reasons.

PalmPower Wand Massager – A lot of people love this thing so I wondered what was wrong with me when I disliked it so much. It could have been something decent, but all the flaws were too glaring to ignore.

Marc Dorcel Secret Vibe – The only good thing about this vibe is the remote. But otherwise it’s $70 for something so buzzy, so weak that I forgot I had it inside of me.

 

 

 Posted by at 11:30 am
Nov 272014
 
Black Friday - Cyber Monday Sex Toy Deals

First, I hope that everyone who is celebrating Thanksgiving is having a wonderful holiday with the friends and/or family. I am thankful for all of you and for this part of my life, and those I’ve met because of it. I’m sad that due to having a very conservative family I cannot share this part of my life with them; it is fulfilling and fun and I have met some of the best people in the world because of it. I live a double life in some ways but I’d rather have that than none of this. ARE YOU READY?? Not sure what to buy? Check out my Best Sex Toys page and this year’s picks for Best Sex Toys of 2014 (posting later!). These sales will go into effect as soon as the clock strikes FRIDAY. Sleep? Who needs it. Unless of course you’re in a mild coma from that turkey and alcohol and

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 Posted by at 4:44 am
Nov 252014
 
L'amourose Rosa Rouge

I read somewhere that the L’amourose Rosa Rouge was not only powerful, but seriously rumbly which meant I had to have it, immediately. Luckily for me the lovely French company obliged. Let me set the tone early: I loved the L’Amourose Rosa Rouge so much that within 10 minutes of my first orgasm (which was within 15 minutes of opening the box) from this vibe I was emailing my favorite retailer and telling them to stock this line, stat. And now, I need to spend the rest of my review convincing you that the price of $229 is worth every penny.  It’s very infrequent that I rave so highly about such a pricey sex toy; often I find that they’re not worth their price tag. This has been the exception to the rule. If you’re on the fence feel free to grill me and we’ll figure out together if this amazing thing will work for

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 Posted by at 12:47 pm
Nov 202014
 
L'Amourose Mya Beads

The L’Amourose Mya Beads certainly are pretty, I’ll give them that. While they look very faceted and gem-like on the L’amourose site, the faceted design in reality is under a smooth, clear plastic dome and can be hard to see. I imagine this is to make it easier to clean?  I received the Pro set for review, although I find the scarlet red of the Lite version to be more striking and gem-like.  There’s really not much difference between the Pro and Lite, which is odd. According to the site, both Pro and Lite weigh 76 grams for the duo beads. The single bead weighs 28 grams in the Lite version and 39 grams in the Pro version. But do they work? And are they better than the contender to beat, Lelo Luna Beads Classic? Unlike the Luna Beads, the L’Amourose Mya beads aren’t interchangeable within the holster. You’ll get a single bead and a

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Nov 172014
 
Review: Jopen Lust L12

Our time with the Jopen Lust L12 has been a little rocky; for weeks every time I’d remind him to try it out because I had to review it, we’d turn it on and find it dead. I’d plugged it in to charge numerous times, each time turning it on and marveling at the powerful vibrations. But then he’d go to try it out a few days / a week later and it would be dead. Shevibe is very good to me and offered to send a replacement and handle the return but Jopen asked me to instead send it directly to them for analysis. I didn’t feel like paying for the shipping to Jopen and communications with Jopen took awhile, so I kept it. Now that my husband has pretty much declared it awesome, I’ll be taking advantage of the warranty and making sure he has a working version.  Yes, the Jopen Lust L12

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 Posted by at 3:38 pm
Nov 082014
 
You won't believe what happened to these silicone sex toys after 5 months in a jar!

When I continue to see people warning others that their silicone sex toys need to be stored in separate containers, I get a little twitchy. I mean sure, it won’t hurt, but it’s not necessary. We need to reassure people that silicone is 100% safe, not scare them with false facts! Cured silicone is pretty damn stable! So to help me prove my point, months ago I cut up some pure silicone sex toys and put them in a mason jar, just like I’d done with a bunch of TPR/PVC toys. I let this closed jar of toy bits sit in the one room of my two-story house that is not air-conditioned. It got pretty hot up there this summer! Even without the benefit of heat, though, my first jar full of gross sex toys had a reaction. I never had to subject it to heat.  Those toys reacted to each other because the oil-based

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 Posted by at 10:29 am