Apr 242014

DevinePlaychestA little over four years ago I reviewed the Devine Playchest. Back then, they made it very clear everywhere you looked that this was a “limited edition” item (the item, NOT the color) and if you wanted one you should hurry up and get one.  At the EF forums, reviewers questioned just HOW “Limited Edition” this was, how many were made, and if the current “out of stock” status meant it was already gone for good. Like any slippery politician worth their salt, Devine reps were vaguebooking like champs.

*slow clap*

Brilliant marketing scheme, Devine. I fell for it, spending my points at EF to buy one. At first, I was mostly happy with the case, despite the flaws in quality and design with the lock. But within the year…. the problems began. And I stopped using it. It became a doorstop, a beast lurking in the closet, a shiny mocking lump.

In the beginning….

I originally bought the Devine Playchest not so much for toy storage, but as something neat for travel. Back then I was taking yearly trips into NYC/DC for sex bloggery events, and foresaw a need for something cute like this. But the Playchest is quite heavy all on it’s own–when you fill it up? Overwhelming. I tried filling it with sex toys to see how much it would hold, but then I literally could not lift the sucker. This was the main reason I stopped using it. I would toss toys in there because in 2010 we lived in a small-ish apartment and I didn’t have the room I do now for sex toys. But it stayed in the closet.

The Honeymoon Ended

The lock was always my biggest complaint – for such a pricey storage option, that lock was maddeningly cheap. One key bent not long after I bought it and the “lock” could be picked with a bobby pin and patience. And the spring-loaded locking latch soon stopped popping out enough after pushing it below the latching mechanism’s bar, meaning that the flap would pop up with some pressure (like during transport). After a little while, I also grew to hate the interior design. There were pockets inside the lid, but they were just mesh with elastic at the openings. Stuff would fall out. The inside was a box with a wibbly cardboard divider held in place by velcro. Stuff could only be piled haphazardly.  Another problem is with the fake patent leather.  It scuffed and tore easily, and this case never left the apartment, it wasn’t handled with anything but care. The light pink section of the lock flap and the handles started absorbing color from the black.

Then, a rep from Devine got a little condescending-bunny on me in the comments of my on-site review. Thanks for that, really. But hey, here we are — 4 years later, and not only are the cases still around but they keep coming out with new colors. Sure, the new colors look snazzy. All black; dark purple with black accents or blood red with black accents. And sadly, the cases seem good for the first few months and that’s when reviews get written.  I can’t go back and edit my reviews at EF, or I would. I’ll have to settle for updating it here.  Since it’s still readily available and still costs a bomb ($115 at Shevibe), I have got to tell you that it is not worth the investment. At all. Not unless you regularly drop $100+ on kitschy items for the sake of the looks and not the quality/function. Was it large? Yes. Was it sturdy in build? Sure. Was it relatively pretty (albeit in a certain overtly femme way)? Yes. That’s not enough to save it though, for me. For that kind of money, I’m going to be really picky.

Where Are They Now?

Currently living at Crista‘s house. Not as sex toy storage. I said “it’s pink and black and cute, but please take this puppy off my hands” and she said “awesome! The kids will love to play pirate!” and then she pirated it for herself. The end.

Apr 182014
Wood Sex Toys: An Introduction

WOOD SEX TOYS?!? But won’t I get SPLINTERS?!? When I encounter a wood sex toy newbie, the “splinters” bit is bound to come up right away. Either in an attempt at a joke or said in seriousness, I will admit it makes me roll my eyes a bit. Do you get splinters from the wood furniture you sit on? From the wood salad bowl you use? From the wood bedpost ? I’ve yet to run across a wood sex toys crafter on Etsy that didn’t make use of excessive sanding and a finish, because they’re all woodworkers. It wouldn’t make very much sense to just hand over an unfinished wood carving. Right? Why Wood? Made from a sustainable material, well-made and cared-for wooden dildos can last a lifetime. Wood is beautiful, it makes every dildo unique, and often can be made solely from scrap wood. , the first little company I heard about years ago,

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 Posted by at 12:39 pm
Apr 162014
Regretsy for Sex Toys: Clay and Wax Dildos

Subtitled: How to make a sex toy activist have a heart attackORStupid Human Tricks: Sex Toy EditionALSODon’t try this at home In research for my post about wood sex toys, I’ve been spending time on Etsy. There are some whackadoodles and many legit crafters on Etsy, and this of course applies to sex toys. Today, Naughty Reenie pointed me to a whackadoodle of the highest order. I’ll link to the shop at the end of the post, but I honestly don’t want to give this guy too much traffic. I’ve screencapped his wares for you, in case he does finally wise up.  You have to see this. It’s sort of like when something smells really bad, you know? We have this bizarre need to share it with someone else: “ewww man this smells funky! Here, smell this.” I shared my horror over this on Twitter but now I shall share this with the world 1.

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 Posted by at 2:17 pm
Apr 122014
Quickie Review: Tantus Anaconda

Despite the fact that more than two years ago I offered up one in a giveaway, and despite the fact that it’s on my “best” list I never managed to do a proper review on the Tantus Anaconda dildo. Because it’s a dildo and doesn’t “do” much, it gets a Quickie Review. What makes the Tantus Anaconda so special? The handle. Often, we use the harness base or the balls (if the dildo has either of these) as a handle, but with the Anaconda (and the Echo Handle, and the Goddess Handle) you have 4″ of nothing but HANDLE! I don’t have tiny hands, so the length of the handle is perfect for met. There’s 3 subtle ridges, too, to be extra sure you’ve got a good grip plus the handle has a textured finish to also aid in grip. Finally, to be sure it’s anal-safe, the handle flares out to a bit of a

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Apr 102014
We-Vibe 4 Review

I’ve been reviewing the We-Vibe ever since it first came out, so it’s been interesting to watch the changes they’ve made over the years. The first We-Vibe was simple–no remote, no patterns–but lacking in vibration strength. We-Vibe 21 added in a bunch of patterns. We-Vibe 3 added in a remote and a bit of a power increase, along with an easier method of charging–the induction base–which also made it waterproof. So far though, We-Vibes 1 through 3 all looked about the same. Finally We-Vibe 4 is out and the changes are significant2. I admit that the We-Vibe has historically never had enough power for me, although I’ve read plenty of reviews from satisfied people. I’ve been hoping that one of these versions, the changes will be significant enough for me to finally love it as much as I want to.  New Silicone–Finally! Previously, We-Vibe had used the shiny silicone that attracts dust/fur/lint like a magnet.

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Apr 032014
Throwback Thursday: The Magic Wand

The Hitachi Magic Wand was one of the first really powerful sex toys I reviewed. Except that it’s not REALLY a sex toy, it’s a back massager. That’s what Hitachi thought, until they caved and let Vibratex distribute it instead but with a rebranding of removing the “Hitachi” because they were so ashamed of its fame.  I loved the Magic Wand for awhile. It was cumbersome and clunky, but sometimes I really needed that power boost in order to orgasm.   Nearly 6 Years Later Update… The more vibrators I try, the more I learn. I learned that although the Magic Wand is certainly powerful, it’s not the *right kind* of powerful for me. I’ve found that what I need is vibration that travels deep and vibration that is rumbly, instead of buzzy. The Magic Wand is pretty buzzy, but you don’t really notice that because of the sheer power. However when you compare it to

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