May 152016
 

It was September of  2013 when we first met the cast of the Jar of Melted Sex Toys aka Jar of Horrors…..

When I filled the jar May of 2013, I filled it to the lid. After seeing the Smitten Kitten original jar (which you’ll see in the video here) I knew that I could put these old sex toy bits to good use. The blue Blossom Sleeve and the clear pieces are TPR; the purple bit is from an old tentacle dildo from ZetaPaws and it was PVC probably with phthalates. I’m not sure anymore what the orange things are made of – I’d assumed TPR but they’re not deflating as much (probably because they had less fillers and softeners) so your guess is as good as mine. The sex toys had a bit of a head-start with breaking down, as they had been in storage for awhile. The Blossom Sleeve was the last thing to be shoved in. It only took three months though to have a small puddle of oil and overall content shrinkage of about and inch-ish.

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In November of 2013 I noticed that the liquid in the bottom of the jar seemed to have doubled. The purple thing had drifted down into the abyss a little, while also losing a bit of its mass. 

purpleshiftNovember

Fast-forward a year, to November 2014. By this time I’d already unveiled my boring Jar of Silicone in February (which is still unchanged, btw…no reactions).The purple bit which was once up to the Ball logo is now down at the bottom. Overall, the contents had fallen even further, leaving more empty space.

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In June of 2015 I unpacked my jars a few months after our move. Because the Jar of Horrors ended up on its side for a few months the contents really shifted. It was then that I realized that the clear, glitter-filled TPR rabbit vibe material seemed to be a glacier-like mass of goo, probably about the consistency of half-set jello, maybe? It was capable of looking like a puddle of oil or just a mass of ice. It only took a few hours of the jar being uprighted to see the glacier of goo shift and change. To be honest I was pretty fascinated.

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Today I decided to take more pictures as I come up on another year since the last time we checked it. The jar took a trip to Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit in August of 2015 so that people could see it in person, but I’d pretty much ignored the jar since then.

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I don’t think that what appears to be oil filling nearly half the jar is actually a liquid. I think it’s a combination of this clear TPR which has deflated and transformed, plus all the oil. Let’s take another look though (sorry about the noise – it’s windy today!)

 

These materials, toxic or not, are all porous and “chemically unstable”. The materials have a high amount of plasticizers (plastic softener) which is sometimes phthalates, sometimes mineral oil, sometimes….who knows what. There is oil in all of these materials; you can tell this when they start to first decompose and “sweat” and feel greasy. I believe that for some toys, even if stored alone and in proper conditions, they won’t break down very quickly. All it takes is some stop-touching-me contact though and suddenly it’s a horse of a different color – it’s like a snowball effect. They touch and the oils from each somehow start a reaction in the other toy. This multiplies and continues; the more oil, the more touching, the more it all deforms and deflates and oozes. The liquid in the jar is heavy and thick like mineral oil, maybe even a little thicker than that. It’s fascinating in a science-geek way. It’s gross because this is how these crappy materials behave, this is how unstable they are and thousands upon thousands of people are using them. They don’t know because they assume that if these materials are being sold to us, then they must be safe. They don’t start researching online until something bad happens – until their sex toy deforms in their drawer, grows mold (which shows up at first as black dots) or burns their genitals.

And lest you think that this only happens in certain conditions, like a jar, I can point you to other images. Like this time that a reviewer left a TPR masturbation sleeve on the PVC head of the Doxy Wand for an extended period of time (past his use of it).

 Posted by at 11:49 am
May 082016
 
JimmyJane Intro Line

You know how I feel about JimmyJane so you’re wondering right now why on earth I’m reviewing part of the new “Live Sexy” Intro line, yes? Well it was suggested by a trusted friend that I check them out, especially because of the price point – which has always been a sticking point with me when it comes to JimmyJane. I just don’t feel that the Form line is worth their price tag. So when JJ came out with these new Intro vibrators I felt that I just had to give them a chance. At $39 for the most expensive version – a battery-powered Form 2 (which they’ve so originally called the Intro 2) – the line is affordable. But so many vibrators right at (or under) the $35 mark can have lackluster vibrations or flaws I can’t overlook. With a clean slate – past grievances momentarily forgotten – I ripped the JimmyJane Intro 4 and Intro 6 from their packages and hastily turned them on.

 Posted by at 10:00 pm
Apr 292016
 
Fiera Arouser For Her: Does it really help with low libido?

Arouser, “pre-hancer”, “before-play” whatever you want to call the Nuelle Fiera Arouser for Her – Don’t call it a sex toy. So far I’ve only seen some questionable (at best) magazine “reviews” and I knew that it needed some input from a professional sex toy critic because at the end of the day, it’s still a sex toy. I know that the word “toy” cheapens it and “sex toy” (according to Nuelle) means that people will expect it to deliver an orgasm, but that’s what things are called in this industry. It’s a catch-all term, it’s generic. Is it something you use to make your sex life better? Then it’s going to be called a sex toy in some way or another. A cock ring doesn’t necessarily give you an orgasm, but they’re a “sex toy”, right?

So despite my initial skepticism I started to have high hopes for the Fiera Arouser for Her. I wanted my sex life back! I wanted to WANT sex again! But I had to wonder… was I really their target audience? Since it’s not meant to make you orgasm – it’s meant to make you aroused -could it still be a beneficial tool?

 Posted by at 11:16 am
Apr 212016
 
Foria Relief or Why Cannabis Made my Uterus Happy

Foria became known to the sex toy world when they created a THC-enhanced lube that has gotten a range of reactions; but I’m not talking about any of that today. I’m talking about Foria’s latest product which is sadly not available to most of the US – the Foria Relief vaginal suppositories. Yeah, I know, this isn’t my usual topic but it still involves Lilly being a geek, doing experiments.

Not long after Foria released Relief my Twitter timeline was buzzing with reactions and opinions – from “Cool” (mixed with damn, I wish I could have this) to some really infuriating, uneducated judgment and misconceptions. I expected better from the people I follow because they’re mostly pretty open-minded folks. No, you’re not “shoving weed up your vagina”, you’re not going to get high and yes, it’s perfectly fucking healthy. Let me assure you that using any Foria product or any topical THC item (or really any form of cannabis that isn’t burning the flower to ashes) is a whole lot healthier than drinking alcohol – which is quite easily socially accepted. It is certainly healthier than taking prescription or OTC pain relievers.

 Posted by at 4:28 pm
Apr 102016
 
Ask Lilly: How Can I Remove Butt Odors From My Silicone Sex Toys?

When you’re dealing with butt play and sex toys, shit happens. Silicone sex toys can still hold on to odors and even a bit of staining from extended anal use. Here I’ve gathered the best tips and tricks for de-stinking your butt plugs! All options are things you can do at home with products you probably already have in your house – baking soda, bleach, coconut oil, mild soap and even your oven!

 Posted by at 1:14 pm
Apr 032016
 
Jopen Lust L2.5 Review

I picked up the Jopen Lust L2.5 during a big Black Friday sale because I’d heard a few other reviewers rave about it (or the nearly-identical Lust L2). You’re getting a good deal for $49; powerful, rechargeable, waterproof. While it isn’t as useful as the Tango because the Tango can replace similarly shaped bullet vibes that insert into dildos, some people just want a powerful clitoral vibe that isn’t quite as pricey as the Tango at $79. So with hopes very high and expecting awesome things with no drawbacks, I got the Jopen Lust L2.5, finally.

Historically I’ve not had great luck with Jopen toys and Jopen warranty service; at least 4 Jopens I’ve received for review had to be sent back (at my dime, usually, unless SheVibe stepped in) for warranty replacement before I could even write my review. More than one Jopen vibe gets unusually warm during use which isn’t listed as a “feature” so I assume it’s not supposed to happen (and was told that with their early Envy line that it wasn’t a feature). Thankfully for me so far the Lust L2.5 has held up but just like I warn about Lelo’s customer service, I want to be transparent about Jopen issues.

 Posted by at 2:07 pm