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There is an International Guild of Wenches - and I need to join!! Anyone care to buy my membership? *bats eyelashes*  I think I would fit in well…..don’t you agree?

1. Do men require an “adjustment” after kissing you? But of course!
2. Is your tongue registered as a precision surgical instrument?I can say that yes, both men and ladies would agree
   
3. Have you been accused of smuggling melons across state lines?Well I AM the size of your average 4H honeydew
   
4. Do you really know what a sponge is for? What better way to drip soapy suds over my naked…..
   
5. Was “Soak a Bloke” considered your time off?
6. Do you think it’s wise to use ice cubes and menthol together?Hmmmm I need to try that
   
7. Is whipped cream more than just a dessert topping?Way more!
   
8. Do men lose the power of speech when you adjust your bodice or breath deeply?According to my partner, resoundingly yes. Also, further proof here.
   
9. Are you vertically challenged but horizontally gifted? Oh hell yes
   
10. Do you like to play with your food? Duh, we just went over that here
    
11. When removing your bra on Monday, do you find enough loose change to buy breakfast?LOL Amongst other things
    

Sorry it’s taken me so long to get up Part 2, I’ve been battling one hell of a cold since my return. I’m givin the hairy eyeball to whomever got me sick!

Where did I leave off….oh, the afterparty. This was where all the real debauchery happened. Quite a few others have already written a bit about it, mostly it’s stuff I wasn’t there for. Some spanking, I hear Tess might have gotten fucked in the other room (I was always in the wrong room!), etc. The after party was really more my “thing”, being much smaller. But I was still more introverted and shy than I should have been, and so I missed out on a lot I think. To be honest, I was shocked to see that (my new crush) Natt and the absofuckingadorable Avah actually remembered me and added me to their Twitter, lol.

I shared a bowl with a few people, which was fun until I decided that I needed a cigarette. And I went outside all alone. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was getting back to the room….perhaps it was a sign that I shouldn’t have gone back it?? I don’t know. I get in the elevator with 3 other people. I’m supposed to get off at the 6th floor, someone pressed 4, someone else pressed 9. It stopped at 4….and it ignored 6! Stopped at 9! I kept punching 6, but it wouldn’t work. then it went up to 15! Opened the doors, no one was there. I kept hitting 6, to no avail. I couldn’t use another elevator, either. So i’m not sober, and I’m stuck, and I don’t have my phone. In tears of frustration and panic, I finally just took the stairs, from 15 to 6.

When I got back, I needed a drink. Apparently…I shouldn’t have. I set down the empty glass on a side table, wherein it promptly slid off and shattered. I’m such a klutz. A spanking was ordered, to which Natt quickly obliged. They all teased my squeak/squeal when the leather paddle hit my ass, as I was bent over the bed. Later on, Sinclair was playing with the paddle, showing prowess with how hard she could smack it. This will go down in my memorable quotes:

The tops in the room just nodded and smiled at that sound, while the bottoms all winced.

Or something like that.

Cabride back to the hotel for BBG and I at 2:30, we slept with our heads at the windowsill, open window, listening to the sounds of the city.

Next morning we decide to go sightsee before brunch, but we took way too long getting ready. Some of that is my fault….I go to take a shower first. The door to the bathroom locks automatically, so you need a key. I put my stuff down, but decided to pee first (a different room), and I walked out of the shower room……with the key in the sink. FUCK! I run back to BBG and she tries to call the porter, everybody she has a number to….no one is around. We ask a few people we see from other floors, no one can help. We plod over in t-shirts only to some poor old guy who informs us that the only keys that will work are on our side, our floor. So we finally bother the guy nextdoor, who thankfully was around. Saved! Quickest shower ever!! I flew back down the hall in nothin but a towel. (and that’s when the HNT pics were taken)

We walked around a bit near the hotel, then hopped the subway to meet up for brunch. After a long wait for some of our fellow slowpoke gals, and then finding the intended restaurant closed, we ended up elsewhere, all crammed in tight. I think we irritated the other customers, but so what!! It ended up being a love fest of hugs and kisses and tears.

Desiree, her bf, BBG and I all went into Whole Foods - lucky girl works for one!! It was my first experience in a Whole Foods and boy did I swoon. Tried their Tiramisu which was -almost- as good as mine. Almost.

BBG and I then decided to go to Rockafeller center and see that area before I left. I’m not a religious person but the architecture and detail of churches is something I absolutely love. As BBG and I stood at the steps of St Thomas, we noticed something…

I got to the train station early, so after I got my ticket I went outside to wait where I was chatted up by a very friendly guy who sees me and says “Now you’re too damn beautiful to look so sad!” I explained that I was very tired, very sore, and sad to be leaving the city. It was a nice short conversation, and nice to be flirted with.

This is probably my best photo of the trip.

I didn’t end up taking many, and there are still many places left that I want to see. I won’t bore you with the whole set (not that many, 50-some) but you can see them here - you just need to sign in with your Yahoo ID. You’ll see some photos of just buildings, because a good friend told me to look up, and make sure I took in all the wonderful architecture. Which I usually do, anyways.

Next trip I want to see Battery Park, and go on the SI Ferry. Upper East Side buildings, and oh the Seaglass Carousel at Battery Park! Cloisters and that Telectroscope eat more good food! There’s also this exhibit…and now for the life of me I cannot recall what it is called or which park it will be in! It’s very very large photographs of beautiful places, taken from satellites I think…..ah well. It’ll come to me. The list goes on. I’ve had a few offers for tourguides, hopefully those offers still stand in a few months time when I can get back there.

So in summary….I need to get out of my shell more. I’m naturally introverted and quiet, but I do come out of my shell….I just end up deferring the attention to those around me who are louder. I step back, I step aside, too often. When will I realize that I belong in that group of friends? I think I could have had even more fun had I grown a pair. Next time…

Tags: NYC, Photos

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But it was on a Friday…does it still count??

As I mentioned earlier, the room we shared was…..small. NYC was unseasonably warm last Friday and Saturday, and the room was without A/C. Gah! For some reason the window had no screen, so seeing into the room was quite easy from the street or sidewalk. It was a given when we were preparing for the party, dusk time. As BBG was taking these photos, there were people passing by on the sidewalk right under the window. One set of guys looked up at me. I just smiled :)

I was quite free with being half nekkid in that room. Didn’t quite care who was looking in. In fact, I find myself wishing they could have witnessed more. Ah well. In the future I will get more of my “exhibitionist in the city” wish.

So thank you, 14th Street, Lower East Side. Hope you enjoyed the show.

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Oh yeah….click for some color…

Tags: HNT, lips, Photos, tits

It’s no fun being home sick. I’m thinking I grabbed it from someone at the party, a few other weekenders got sick as well.

I really want to write part 2 about the trip, but my head just isn’t there.

Now hiring: A muse. I need inspiration. Also, for the day, entertainment. So email please!!

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Random quick things:

I’m going to be reviewing for 2 new places, so be on the lookout. One place offers a huge selection of BDSM stuff and so upcoming reviews will be for a flogger, a paddle, and some rope (provided I can find some quick n easy instructions somewhere for ropework with only 16 feet of rope).

Big shocker here….I wanna go back to NYC! I’ll need tourguides. Perhaps a place to stay. It’ll be after the holidays, that much I know. How far into next year is something I haven’t decided yet. I didn’t get to sightsee enough, but unless you spend a week there, I don’t think that’s possible.

To any sex bloggers who don’t follow Agent Ansley on Twitter, check out her Secret Santa XXXChange! I’ll be doing it, it should be fun!

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Oh also, take it from me: Zinc Lozenges? Not worth it. I’ve temporarily lost my sweet tastebuds. FAIL! Last one was like 12 hours ago.

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SwelteringCelt has drummed up a lil thing called Microfantasy Monday, and this week I think I can contribute something half-assed ;) The point to the microfantasy is to pick a snapshot….a moment in time and not the whole fantasy. Paint the picture as you wish.

The theme for this week: “There is an ass and it is on display.”

Well now….

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I can hear the murmurs of people around me but I am not paying attention to them. My wrists are bound in front of my body. My upper half is draped over a hard surface that is just above waist-high; my bound arms stretched out in front of me, my feet only barely touching the floor. My skirt thrown up to expose my ass. I feel his pocketknife at my hip. He slices off my panties…..my good black lace ass-framing panties! Damnit! He has the option of his hand, or my new leather paddle. I pray for the hand, as I believe it will not be as hard of a whack as the paddle. He runs a finger down the crack of my ass and dips into my slit for a brief second; this attempt to distract me works. I am off guard when I hear and feel the crack of the leather paddle. A split second later my highpitched yelp is also heard. Short, succinct, loud. Both the crack and my yelp.

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So much to talk about, it’ll have to be broken down into more than one post. And I hope you’ll all forgive me, I hope words are enough because I don’t really have any photos of debauchery. It was all so intense and in-the-moment that many of us forgot about photos.

So I met BBG at Penn Station first, as I lugged my (too many and too heavy) bags up to the main floor. We did the phone “where are you? I’m right here!” thing and found each other quickly. We waited for ThatToyChick, but that proved to be difficult. We had joked about red helium balloons tied to our wrists, or a three-way phone call version of Marco! Polo! After 20 minutes of ridiculousness (Tip: When you say “I’m in front of XX, meet me here”, make sure there’s not -4- of such in the place!!), we all found each other and proceeded to bumble through the subway to the hotel. (3 out-of-towners who don’t know their way around, meeting up inside Penn Station, is fucking hysterical to witness.)

TC and I ended up walking down 14th street (LES) to Lush, taking photos along the way. We got sidetracked by the gourmet grocers and finally succumbed to one. Garden of Eden. HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK we about orgasmed in there. It was a foodie’s wet dream, I’m not shitting you. We could have spent hours and hundreds of dollars. As it was, we ended up getting food to bring back so that we could all eat before the party. Let me just say - it was the BEST Mac n Cheese any of us have ever had. I dream of it. Want in my pants? Bring me Garden of Eden Mac n Cheese.

BBG’s “hotel” room was…..interesting. It was more like an apartment than a hotel. Ok, more like a shoebox than an apartment, lol. For the price, it was fine. It had character. The bathroom was shared amongst 4 rooms, and I swear the toilet room wasn’t more than 3 feet wide. For that matter, the room couldn’t have been more than 10 feet wide, lol. The bed was up against the big window which had no screen. We were on the second floor, but the first floor was below street level a bit, so let’s say floor 1 and a half. It was unseasonably warm, with no AC and poor air circulation so as we were getting ready, 14th street had a great view of a few naked or scantily-clad women getting dolled up. Before getting ready I decided to take a cold shower to cool down, so I pattered down the hallway in only undies. I pattered back, wet and naked with a towel. Didn’t give too much of a fuck who might have seen. As dusk dropped, we were quite visible from the street and had fun with it. Don’t you wish you were hanging outside the Istanbul Grille Friday night??? Three hot BBW’s getting naughty and naked for the city ;)

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The hot n sexy BBG lounging in bed………..Our bed as we got ready for the party

BBG kept twittering all weekend!

The party was…..interesting. Heh. Compared to NYC natives, I’m a country bumpkin. The bar seemed small, and it was constantly packed with well over 150 people at all times. Navigating through the crowd was insane. I’m not one for crowds, and so I felt really out of my element. I was surrounded by beautiful women and to be honest, I felt underdressed. Or overdressed, lol, not enough skin showing. I’ll play off that I’m a demure sexpot ;) All in black save for my deep shiny red shoes and bag.

TC is an amazing amazing woman, BBG and I dubbed her the Martha Stewart of Kink. She’ll have to tell you why. I can’t recall all of her DIY suggestions for kink and stuff, because my memory is teh suck, but I think she needs to make a whole site just for all of it. Also, this lady has the hottest mane of hair - faux-red and down to her ass. I’m so lucky to have had such amazing and beautiful women to hang out with Friday before the party. I can’t even tell you how many truly amazing people I met and spoke to. This cute fellow blogger boy (who apparently reads my blog more than I thought, and I enjoy his as well) showed up unexpectedly and hung out with me and my girls all night, party and afterparty.

I was overwhelmed by the sexy hot beautiful women that night. Femmes, butches, bi, straight, lesbian…..oh yeah, and a few guys. But the women! oooff.*swoon*

The beautiful red-dress girl we kept bumping into as we smoked a cigarette on the sidewalk. Cute-beautiful and sweet and someone I could talk to for hours.

Natt, who looked so damn hot in the Clyde get-up (I have a new blogger crush, the fedora and tattoo, amongst other things, did me in totally. Not to mention Natt is fun and funny and so goodlooking and easy to talk to and……wow I’ll stop with the gushing). Also, one of the only people to notice and comment on my sexpot blood-red shoes. *swoon*

Mariella, who is just….an enigma. You look at her, this dark-haired big-eyed beauty and you know her young age but my god you’d never guess. She’s beyond her years. It was hard though to reconcile the blog details (details now gone from her blog but I read enough before she started it over) with this angelic face.

Sinclair. Oh Sinclair. I swoon over her writing, she weaves the most delicious erotica. She is truly a wordsmith. But to meet the “real person” was fucking amazing. She is….wow. You really find out in person what the fuss is all about if you didn’t already know and it’s shocking that she doesn’t just have a parade of femmes trailing her every move. BBG introduced me early on in the night as just Lilly. A bit later, in a group of a few of us as I was introduced again, my name clicked. Sinclair says “Oh! Lilly…as in Dangerous Lilly??” with this look that……..um wow. Thank fuck for dimly lit rooms, I blushed and was hit with a shy attack even moreso than usual. Later as BBG was groped/spanked/fondled by Sinclair for a minute I watched in envy - not just because it was Sinclair, in general the roughness - the yank of the hair, the firm pressure of a gliding hand, the stingy smack on the ass. Yes, please.

Every time bloggers met, it was a hug and a squeal and a “ohmygod you look beautiful, it’s so fucking great to meet you!!” For all my social anxiety and unsuredness in attending, I can’t say how glad I am to have been there.

Meeting Catalina was awesome, who’s been giving me email support on my quest/need to lose weight and get healthy. Damn skinny bitch ;)

Nadia is another blogger friend I looked forward to meeting. Sadly, due to the packed-like-sardines state of the party and all, we didn’t get to spend much time together. This needs to change soon!!

I didn’t win anything at the raffle. Goddamn though, I gotta tell you, 75% of the people in attendance would have traded any sexual favor to win the Eleven in the raffle. I did bring home a few small goodies though.

My feet were utterly killing me halfway through the party. I have something called plantar fasciitis (which goes along with the fibro) and so I was in agony. But it was worth it.

OMG, there’s more, much more, more people and hotness and whew! On to the afterparty, the true high point of the weekend…….to continue in Part 2. I know I left out some shit here because I’m so tired and overwhelmed. It’ll all come out this week, in time. Everything I planned for didn’t happen, and everything that happened was so deliciously unplanned. I’ll also start putting up all my touristy NYC buildings photos on Flickr.

Tags: blogger love, NYC, random thoughts, real life

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These are the last of the tired and overused Halloween photos. Compared to all the others, these reveal the least naughty bits but I really like this B&W one, as I puttered around in Photoshop with the ribbons and I like when I create shit like this.

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In case you missed it, you really should hear about how I spent my day off yesterday. He is a lot of fun to play with. Oh, and so are my toys. I may not get around to all my usual HNT haunts today - I have Friday off so Thursday will be quite busy for me at work, and then Thursday evening is spent packing! Goin to New York Friday! I think this will prove to be a very fun and interesting 24 hours in that wonderful city. My roomate for the night is BadBadGirl, come on, you know we’ll get into trouble!!

Tags: HNT, lips, Photos, S, tits

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I’m having quite the productive day off. I finally found a pair of cute and (mostly) comfortable shoes for the party. Heels? Not for me, sorry, I tried. Perhaps I may buy a pair for bedroom use only, but a 3 hour-plus party? I ain’t doin none of that. But I now have everything I need for my trip.

Oh, and, in the span of 45 minutes I played with 9 toys and orgasmed 4 times. 3 of those 4 times were recorded for him.

Hmm I suppose I should back up and explain that more. I got a package yesterday of review items from VibeReview. I decided to try out two of the four, the Lelo Gigi and the Inner Desire Love Egg. Now to be a good little reviewer I should be comparing my toys to ones I’ve already reviewed so I had to use the Lelo Elise and the Silver Bullet, as well. My intent here was testing only, at first. But he asked to hear a screaming orgasm, even better another multiple set of screaming orgasms, and I was happy to oblige. He and I have both been busy lately, especially him, so we’ve been lacking in playtime together. Today made a dent in making up for that. I emailed him asking for some help (hinting for a voicemail) but he was busy with work. I can be an impatient girl so I started without him. Voicemails can only be 10 minutes. Could I do this in ten minutes? I was already primed with a clitoral orgasm 10 minutes earlier…normally that would mean another one would take me longer but of course that’s not the case with the Holy Grail (the Pure Wand). I started out with the Pure and my trusty Pocket Rocket, for an orgasm in 6 minutes. I switched to the Hitachi for the second wave, 3 minutes later. As I sat up from my bed to end the voicemail, I was saying a few words to him and saw that there were a few people out on the sidewalk, getting into their car. I had been loud….I’m sure they heard me.

As fate would have it I see that he signed online while I was recording and that he sent ME a voicemail.

S: just left you one
L: ok
S: i want you to react to it and record
S: please…….    {silly boy, he’ll learn soon that while requests are sweet, orders make me wet}
S: fuck yourself.. HARD
L: i just got done doing that!
S: AGAIN
L: any toy in particular you want me to use?
S: something big… listen and follow instructions
L: ok
S: don’t start fucking yourself until you’re told
S: and once you start, don’t stop until you come
S: record it all
S: even you listening if you want/can
L: ok

I took the microphone back over to my bed, and I listened for a few minutes. His message was 7 minutes long (remember we only have 10) and at about 3.5 minutes in he asked me to start recording and to do as he said. I turned up my volume so that I could hear him from my bed, but also he would be able to know I was recording while listening.

I did as I was told. I inserted when told. I did it how, when, and how fast, as told. He made me tease myself for a few minutes. When he asked me a question, I was so lost in everything that I found myself answering him…perhaps a whispered “yes”, perhaps a moaning “yes”. I did as I was told. When he stopped recording, leaving me with orders to come for him, I kept in mind that I only had a few minutes left to do so. While I impaled myself on the big blue dildo and buzzed my clit with the Hitachi, I gave him orgasm 4. I’m nothing if not obedient (and sometimes feisty). I did as I was told.

1. Gigi
2. Inner Desire Love Egg
3. Elise
4. Silver Bullet
5. Pure Wand
6. Pocket Rocket
7. Hitachi
8. Big blue dildo

8 toys.

Wait, I told you 9, didn’t I?

Oh yes. My 9th toy.

Why, him, of course.

Or am I his toy now?

After my second message was delivered, he started listening to them both. I think he liked them….He came twice in 10 minutes.

Tags: conversations, masturbation, pure wand, S, sextoys, voicemail

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This weekend I had to go to my mother’s house; check in on the cat because my mom was out of town, and bring down all my childhood toys/mementos from the attic so that I could pack them up better (she’s moving to a new house in a few months, and needs help packing up 30 years of stuff). You just don’t ask a sentimental ADD gal to pack up her childhood toys. It wasn’t everything, it was things that over the years as I got older I decided I had had an attachment to. Some stuff I looked at now and thought WTF?? and pitched. Other stuff….I played with, lol. There’s more fun on this at my other blog, so take a trip down memory lane with me….complete with pictures and a video of Milky the Moo Cow. It’ll be fun, I promise.

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Despite being young, my body isn’t. I went to bed at a decent hour, but woke up later. Since I had the house to myself of course I had brought along some toys and of -course- I brought along my Pure wand. I had another try at squirting - it didn’t happen, but all is not lost. No….I had another first. True multiple orgasms.

Usually, right after a clitoral orgasm, I’m so sensitive that I can’t keep the vibrator on me. A second orgasm will take a much longer build-up than the first. Not this night.

One of the things that I notice with the Pure wand is that either I’m a lot wetter than with any other toy, or the design/material of it just makes it seem that way. Perhaps because with other internal toys I am filled up, I choose ones with girth, so there isn’t a lot of “wiggle room”. The wet sloppy sounds as I work the ball against my G-spot are obscene. It has been the case that by orgasm 2, the wand is covered top to bottom in sticky juices. Another thing I have noticed is the ability of the wand to absorb the ambient temperature and hold on to it. If I pull the wand out of me during momentary breaks and rest it on my clit it is downright hot to the touch. It will stay very warm for quite some time after use.

Anyways. I found that I actually had to hold back a little with the vibrator on my clit for the first orgasm, or the build-up would have been short. After the first one, I moved the vibe off my clit but kept going with the wand and it felt so good….like I could come again….less than a minute later the Pocket Rocket is back on my clit and in a few minutes I am moaning and writhing with orgasm 2. Repeat. again. It was another amazing first, as the waves neevr really seemed to die down and I felt like I could just keep orgasming over and over…..but I tired out soon and fell into a deep sleep.

If you haven’t been convinced already, for the love of all you consider holy, go buy one of these!!!

1. I’ve successfully found my G-spot, easily
2. I’ve squirted for the first time
3. I’ve had multiple orgasms for the first time
4. The orgasms are -intense-

I can’t wait to meet Greg of Njoy at the party this Friday and thank him for creating this modern holy grail.

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Speaking of the party, wee!!! in 4 days I’ll be in NYC!!! I finally figured out what I’m wearing, after a few clothing meltdowns (and boots that were a major fail). The shoes are up in the air because I’m trying to determine if I can do heels. I’m wobbly and unstable on them but that’s not my issue - it will be crowded and I’ll just make sure to lose my balance (cleavage first) into someone cute. My issue is whether or not I can tolerate what feels like 800psi being exerted on the balls of my feet.

Tags: masturbation, pure wand, random thoughts, real life, sextoys

What’s this, you ask? Well it’s kinda like Sugasm, except there’s no peer voting. Madame Editrix Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek picks out her “editor’s choice” each week, but otherwise it’s a roundup of all the sextoy reviews of the week. Nice way to hunt down a review from trusted sexbloggers when you have a specific toy in mind.

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Adult product reviews from the last two weeks from all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #1? Read it all here. Do you Have a review for Pleasurists #3? Submit it here before Sunday November 9th at 11:59pm PST. Please re-post this list on your own blogs if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.
Agent Ansley’s Win a Jaguar contest deadline November 5th 11:59 PM EST
Swag Contest: When I think of Essin’ Em deadline November 8th at 11:59pm MST.

Looking for some toys to review?
Wanted! Sex Toy Reviewers. Apply Within. Free Products Supplied.

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick
Njoy Pure Wand by Dangerous Lilly
“I have heard that the G-spot is more swollen and “receptive” after a clitoral orgasm, so I laid there for a bit with the wand still in me, idly playing. Soon, playing in earnest. And then I brought out the Hitachi.
Oh yes, I did.
I combined the two best toys in my arsenal.
Wanna know the result??”

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Vibrators
Lust Objectified - Meet Nea by Domina Doll
Nice Try Durex - Durex play vibrations focus by Epiphora
The Miracle Massager plus Attachment by Rori of Between My Sheets
Buzz 1 by Essin’ Em
Sweet G Vibe and The Mini Mini Mouse by Betty Rocket
G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator by Long Distance Sub

Dildos
Bandito by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek
Pure Wand from Njoy by Betty Rocket
Natural Contours Energie Kegel Exerciser by Stiletto Diaries

Anal Toys
Double Dare by Agent Ansley
The Nexus Titus by Jack of Writing Dirty

Erotic Books
Yes, Sir by That Toy Chick
The Leather Daddy and the Femme by Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Adult Movies
Review of Zack and Miri Make a Porno by Audacia Ray
Perversions of Lesbian Lust by Catalina Loves
The Erotic Witch Project by Hot Movies for Her
Girls Who Lust by Epiphora

Miscellaneous
Penis Cupcake Pan by The Countess - Elizabeth Black

Tags: Pleasurists, reviews