Posted by Lilly | 2 Comments

Ethical Blogging: Attribution does not equal Permission

The bane of a bloggers existence some days is the evolution of the Scraper. The Scraper is someone who has set up a website solely to garner advertisers. They have numerous sites like this and they obviously don’t have time to write their own content, so they “scrape” illegally from others. It’s only scraping, though, if they are stealing your entire post¹. Many times these scrapers have automated the process and will scrape directly from your RSS feed. I’ve added on anti-scraping plugins to WordPress which put in things such as unique keys (so that I can search for that key and find who else is using it) and copyright / anti-scrap notices in the post – they alert the reader that if they’re reading the post anywhere other than Dangerouslilly.com, it has been illegally scraped and please contact me.

Even worse, however, is when a fellow community blogger or sex toy manufacturer/retailer uses your content in entirety without permission. Some are just completely uneducated as to the rights and wrongs of blogging, but really….we all started out in the same clueless space and most of us have gotten where we are just fine without violating copyright, stealing content or plagiarizing, ever.

What is Copyright?

According to Wikipedia, copyright ‘is “the right to copy”, but also gives the copyright holder the right to be credited for the work, to determine who may adapt the work to other forms, who may perform the work, who may financially benefit from it, and other related rights.’

A few years ago when I was dealing with a site that took harassing me to a new level, which included posting my photos without my permission, claimed that all was well and fair in the copyright world simply because they had attributed the photos to me. Nope, sorry, that is not the only condition that must be met. Especially not since I have this copyright notice at the end of every post and at the bottom of my main page: “All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me”. Notice how I’ve stated that all text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere? Yeah. That’s kinda the whole key.

Permission.

Consent?

eh. fine line.

Microblogging vs Blogging

Now, here’s the rub: With the over-saturation of social media sites where you “share” stuff with your followers, you “reblog” on Tumblr, you “retweet” on Twitter…you have a blurry line of kosher sharing when it comes to blogging. When you reblog and retweet on Tumblr and Twitter respectively, you are copying what someone said and providing attribution. The line is blurred even further with Twitter, where “copyright” doesn’t really seem to exist. I mean, how can you possibly lay copyright to a Tweet? On Tumblr it’s a little different I suppose, but many people treat Tumblr as blogging. So if I posted a photo on Tumblr and nowhere else, I still retain my copyright. That photo is my intellectual property and if you post it on your own Tumblr without an attribution link, then you’ve effectively stolen content.

The fine line lays in the type of sharing. Tumblr, Twitter, Pinterest, even Facebook are all considered forms of “microblogging“; places where the “reblog” is common practice and accepted. Standard Blogging is vast and varied; we’re accustomed to WordPress-based sites, Blogger, LiveJournal, etc but there are many other places as well. Somehow, the concept of “reblogging” seems to have bled over (incorrectly) to regular blogging with the prevalence of microblogging.

Product Reviewing and Ethics

In the past I went toe-to-toe with Lelo when I noticed that suddenly they went from quoting excerpts of reviews to pilfering entire (but slightly modified to remove retailers links and in some cases, had no links to the review itself) review posts. They’d never told anyone reviewing products (given to the reviewer by Lelo) that this would be done; they never asked for permission; and in fact they did this on reviews where the product came from retailers! After raising a fuss like I am wont to do, they apologized and removed it all and now only have excerpts (with links).

I’ve noticed that niche sex toy maker Duncan Charles has been lifting entire reviews², as well, and what’s worse is that they have ignored emails. Back when I posted about Lelo, Shanna Katz commented that it had happened to her a lot over the years as well.  I was offered the chance to do reviews for Nexus and at the time I viewed their site, I noticed that they had full text of reviews with no hyperlink. They had a text-only site address, though. But I wasn’t cool with having my entire review posted so I turned them down.

Ethical Blogging Practices

~Reblogging is NOT copying someone else’s entire blog post without their permission, throwing up an attribution link and calling it well and good. I see this as copyright violation and content theft. Also, just Bad Blogging Manners.  You can quote something from my post, with an attribution and link, and that is a horse of a different color. You can share a photo I’ve posted here via Tumblr, with an attribution and link, and that’s just fine.

~Posting someone’s photo without an attribution is content theft and copyright violation. I don’t care if the click-through link goes to their blog, the attribution line  (and link) is absolutely necessary.

~Creative Commons licenses on someone’s blog does not mean you get to skirt copyright basics or do away with attribution. Creative Commons exists to allow someone the flexibility of letting people know that sharing and even revamping is fine (with attribution) but it doesn’t dissolve copyright.

~And please…don’t EVER think you’re doing someone a favor by putting their content on your site. It’s insulting, it’s copyright violation, and it will earn you a very bad reputation.

Tweet this!

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 1 Comment

Happy Mother’s Day! The Winner of the Crystal Delights Plug is…..

I love that Rafflecopter makes entering contests and having contests so easy. It’s really a lot less of a headache! Of course, in fairness to all, manual verification of entries still needs to happen to be sure that everybody followed all of my rules and restrictions but I was able to do that as things went along for the most part.

After a lovely run and lots of entries, I’m pleased to announce that the winner is……

 

 

Penny, who writes the blog “A Penny for Your Dirty Thoughts”!

 

Congrats Penny! She really spread the word about sex toy safety – her Twitter posts, Tumblr posts and even a great blog post about sex toy safety!

Tweet this!

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 2 Comments

An Updated Review of the Lelo Luna Beads

It’s a bit of a long story regarding how I came to be reviewing the Lelo Luna Beads for a second time, but basically I lost the bead holster of my original set of Luna Beads that I reviewed way back in 2008 and I just happened to put them on my Babeland Wishlist. I put them on the wishlist more as a personal reminder that I wanted to replace them but Babeland ended up sending them to me for review, along with the updated version of the Lelo Mia. By now I’m sure you’ve read tons of reviews on the Luna Beads so I’m going to start out this review with a few facts and dispelling of myths; things you’ve probably not read much about.

1. The “retrieval leash” on the Luna Beads has come under fire by many reviewers who don’t understand the overall design. It kind of looks like a tampon string, sure. But it’s not exactly absorbent. It’s made of nylon and is a very hygienic material. More importantly, this material is compatible with the way the Luna Beads are made which leads me to point #2…..

2. Luna Beads are not held together with glue. They are sealed together with an ultra-sonic welding technology, and the nylon cord was one of the only materials compatible with this technique. This method of securing the two halves of the outer ABS plastic balls leads me to point #3….

3. You can boil the Luna Beads for easy cleaning and sanitizing. YES. You can BOIL the Luna Beads.The beads, the holder, everything. Toss it all in and have some Luna soup.

Luna Beads – Why the Nylon Cord?

I talked to Lelo and found out that they spent years working on the design of the Luna Beads and that they were delayed the most with the retrieval leash. They tried many things but finally settled on nylon. The combination of the material and the way Lelo Luna Beads are made means that it’s going to take a LOT of force to break these or have that nylon retrieval leash come apart from the bead. You’ll probably never need to use that kind of force to remove them from your vagina. Some people have almost vilified this retrieval cord in their reviews, saying that it ruins the material safety issues but really….who are you going to be sharing these with?? These are meant to be a Kegel/PC muscle exerciser (not a sex toy) and they were never intended to be used anally. I recently reviewed one of the only other sets of Kegel balls that come in a varied-size set similar to the Lune Bead system, the Bedroom Kandi Hold On To Me, and at first it seemed like they were trying to improve upon the Lelo design. With the HOTM beads, the retrieval leash is part of the bead holster (which means you need 2 holsters…1 for using a single bead and 1 for using the double bead set) and Bedroom Kandi / OhMiBod claims that this is silicone. But it’s not, it’s a silicone-elastomer blend which is porous. It cannot be sanitized. AND it’s incredibly stretchy, turning it into a rubber-band weapon dangling from your vagina, just waiting for slippery fingers to let go so that it can snap your bits like the 4th grade bully who sat behind you. The Luna Beads nylon cord is not stretchy at all, and it is a loop design, making it easy to grasp and pull out.

Body-Safe Materials

The Beads themselves are made from ABS plastic¹, which is a body-safe material free of phthalates, latex or other bad softening agents.  ABS plastic is non-porous. The bead weights are color-coded (pink beads are 28 grams each, blue beads are 37 grams), rather than a stupid painted-on design which rubs off after the second use. The plastic beads have actually changed slightly since I first got mine in 2008. I had noticed that more recent product photos showed that the beads were a little more “fancy” looking than mine – mine were pink and blue, sure, but had a very slight yellowish cast to the color and the plastic was slightly frosted. The newer beads have a truer pink and blue hue (more noticeable to me with the pink) and the plastic is more clear. All in all it’s a slight design change but it makes the beads look a bit less clinical. They are not, however, as shiny and color-saturated as some of the product photos floating around retailer sites.

The bead holster is easier to use than the Bedroom Kandi set; the silicone is matte finish with a slight texture and isn’t very stretchy at all – just stretchy and soft enough to slide the beads in. If lined up just so, the holster will completely cover the hatch-like markings where the bead halves are welded together. Of course for use purposes it’s not exactly necessary, especially for the bead without the retrieval leash. And yes, the holster IS silicone; it passed the silicone flame test. Babeland has listed that the girdle/bead holder is medical-grade silicone but the Lelo site says “FDA approved” and I’ve been told by them that all of their silicone is food-grade. Food-grade silicone isn’t any less body-safe than medical-grade for sex toy purposes.

Cleaning (and boiling) the Luna Beads

I’d never heard before that you could boil the Luna Beads for a better clean. I think I’d just assumed that they would fall apart. Well, they won’t, because glue is not used. And water will not get inside. With my first set of Luna Beads, I did not clean the retrieval leash very well and it ended up yellowing slightly. I talked to Lelo about this and was told that a simple wash with your favorite anti-bacterial toy cleaner followed by a quick 5-minute boil would ensure that there is no staining and every part of the design will be sanitized. Just remove the beads from the holster to ensure that everything gets cleaned.

Pleasure? Beads?

Lelo calls these “Pleasure Beads“. When I first experimented with sex toys and saw those cheap, metal “Ben Wa” balls in the sex toy catalog I wasn’t sure exactly how to use them but I’d heard they were for sex. I couldn’t imagine having sex with some balls stuffed in my vagina! Let me assure you that the Luna Beads are not meant for use during sex. They’re not even really meant to give you an orgasm. What they are meant to do though is strengthen the Kegel/PC muscles (without any effort on your part) and in turn that will give you stronger orgasms and more pleasurable PIV sex. It will also contribute to a healthier bladder and fewer accidents when you sneeze (if you’re young enough that you don’t know what I mean by that last statement, then STFU and I hate you).

Believe me, these work, and you don’t even have to do anything. I know because once, after being away from the Luna Beads for too long, I thought I’d just go ahead and step right on up to  2 blue balls at once. Not only did I skip ahead a few steps but I probably wore them for a few hours longer than I should have. The next day my PC muscles were sore – just like any other muscle would be if I exercised too much. I can never remember to do active Kegel exercises, so these things are great for me.

I’ve heard from some women that they can feel them moving easily, some cannot feel them, and some are bothered by the movement. It’s actually not so much the large Luna Bead moving around inside of you, but the smaller weighted bead rattling around and pinging off the sides of the plastic ball. Whenever the weighted bead taps your vaginal wall, your PC muscles automatically contract just a tiny bit. The muscle contraction is not something I’ve ever felt. But this is how they work those muscles without requiring you to clench and release yourself. Over the course of a few hours you’ll have achieved the same level of Kegel exercise as if you’d done 4 or 5 “sets” of active exercises throughout the day. These only work if you’re mobile, however, not if you’re sedentary. It’s best to insert them before you go for a walk, run errands, or anything slightly active. The more active you are, the more these weighted beads will rattle around inside the plastic shell and the more your muscles will be tapped.

A lot of women find that wearing the Luna Beads will increase vaginal secretion (during use) and the mere presence of something subtly moving can increase natural arousal. But, please, don’t call these a “sex toy”.

Some reviews I’ve read have claimed that these are “noisy”. Rest assured, there is no discernible noise whatsoever to anyone other than you. You are simply “hearing”/feeling an internal activity. To you it seems noticeable but it definitely is not to anyone else. The metal Ben Wa balls I once owned had a bizarre musical tinkling sound whenever they moved. Lelo Luna Beads have a rubber-coated weight which is virtually silent when they’re in your body.

And the Winner is…

I’ve owned and worn exactly once a set of Fun Factory Smart Balls which did absolutely nothing for me. As I already mentioned, the Bedroom Kandi Hold on to Me balls had visual appeal but lacked in common sense or material safety. Another set of sort-of progressive weighted kegel beads is the Je Joue Ami set; I’ve not tried them but Epiphora has and I agree with her assessment: Bizarre design and what is UP with this stretchy retrieval cord again??

This is probably one of the few Lelo products that I fully love and endorse. Lelo Luna Beads are simply the best in class. Thanks to Babeland for giving me a replacement set and a second chance to find out even more sex geek facts on this awesome product.

Tweet this!

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 6 Comments

Do all birthdays suck?

Please allow this old lady a bit of self-involved moping and grumping for a mo’, would ya?

Last year’s birthday REALLY sucked. Perhaps this year’s birthday won’t suck so badly because I’m aware that it will suck in advance and I am preparing myself for that. The asshole now-ex-friend who forgot my birthday last year is off the hook now due to being a large douchebag who I don’t speak to anymore. Husband has informed me that he will not at all be up for anything fun or even dinner out, due to very stressful workplace goings-on this month that have my poor guy so wound up that we’re both at our less-than-best lately. We’re rescheduling for an unknown date in the near-ish future, at least.

Even my birthday wish list was produced with as much effort as pulling one’s own teeth. Money would be grand, though, so if a bunch of people were to buy sex toys from my affiliate links over there in the sidebar, I’d be tickled pink! We’ve decided to save up for the down payment on a house so any job offers or projects would be lovely too.

In a few weeks I’m turning 35 and I must admit I’m not pleased with that. I can’t say anymore that I’m vaguely in my “early 30′s”. I’ll suddenly be closer to 40 than 30 by just a smidge. Age is just a number, you say? 35 is the new 25, you say? The problem is I’m most certainly feeling like I’ve not done jack shit of importance in my life, that I’ve behind the 8-ball and failing miserably.

Growing up, my birthday was usually a big deal. I guess that’s what you get when you’re an only child? I wasn’t lavished with expensive presents but I didn’t ask for anything expensive, either. I don’t think it existed! We didn’t have cell phones or computers or handheld game thingiemabobbers. WE HAD STICKS. Ok, fine, it was better than sticks. And aside from my senior prom falling on my birthday one year and half the invitees not showing up to my 16th party, birthdays as a kid were pretty good. I’d have one with friends and then one with family. God, I miss my grandmother’s cake frosting.

So yeah…I guess the reason why my birthday list is so short on tangible items is that I’m realizing I’d rather have people. I’d like to go back to the busy, love-filled birthdays of childhood. I want to spend a whole day doing fun sightseeing with my husband, something we haven’t done in ages. I’d like to feel loved and appreciated by friends and family. Are we really all too damn busy for birthdays anymore? Are we really at the level where the most we can be arsed to do is post something on someone’s Facebook wall (and only then because Facebook reminds you) and call it job well done?

(please don’t comment to wish me a happy birthday, or I will stab you)

Tweet this!

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me

Posted by Lilly | 2 Comments

Leaf Rechargeable Vibrators: The Spirit Vibe

Entirely too long ago I received the Spirit vibe from Leaf to review. I sometimes wonder why it takes me so long to write certain reviews while others seem to write themselves, and I realized why: When I don’t love or hate a toy, I find it hard to know what to say. And that’s the problem here; I don’t love or hate the Spirit.

Spirit is tiny; smaller than I expected. For some reason I expected it to be more along the lines of the Layaspot in size, but it’s actually a little smaller than the Je Joue MiMi and definitely smaller than the We Vibe Touch. Which means that for some people it could easily get misplaced. Of course that bright, spring-green color would make it more difficult to lose it.

Green Squared

The entire Leaf vibes line is touted as being “green”; not just green in color (as it’s the only color option available) but environmentally-speaking a “good idea”. The thought is that silicone rechargeable vibrators are more “green” since there are no disposable batteries. Of course, one argument is that disposable batteries can be recycled or simply tossed in the garbage with no serious effects to the landfills  while very few people would ever recycle the rechargeable portion of a vibrator (mainly because you’d have to recycle the whole toy and there aren’t a lot of sex toy recycling places out there, plus it’s a bitch to get the battery out of the toy). Another way that Leaf is pushing the green aspect is in their packaging, which gets met with some argument as well. The box is all recycled cardboard; it’s heavy and sturdy cardboard though, with a magnetic closure so it would be great for storage. It’s not a 100% discreet storage option but yet it doesn’t use the words “sex toy” or “vibrator” anywhere on the box. Instead it says “Natural Pleasure“. The included storage pouch looks like hemp but is probably just cotton canvas. The only plastic to be found was the plastic bags used to contain the vibe and the charger. I think that overall there is a step in the right direction for being more environmentally conscious and not just for being a silicone sex toy.

Powered by PowerBullet

The reason I was so interested in the Leaf line was because the motor is “Powered by PowerBullet”; The Jopen Vanity line is also made with PowerBullet motors and since I adore my VR6 so, so very much I had high hopes for Leaf Spirit. After I did some research, though, I found out that only one other vibrator (not something made by a US-distributed company) powered by PowerBullet is as strong and rumbly as the VR6. Ah well. This isn’t to say that the Leaf Spirit is weak; it’s not. It’s really got quite a punch. In fact I’d easily compare it to the Je Joue Mimi. I’d say that the We Vibe Touch is perhaps a bit more powerful (there is one caveat to all three of these, which I’ll get to in a minute) but the We Vibe Tango & Salsa are more powerful than any of the aforementioned three vibes. The reason for this is because the Spirit, MiMi and Touch all have what is, to me, a fatal flaw: as soon as pressure is applied to the vibrator or it is surrounded by flesh (hello, fleshy labia) the vibrations greatly decrease. They go from deep and rumbly and powerful to almost surface-buzzy and moderate. It’s a huge let-down. This could be happening with the Spirit because it is so small. Perhaps a larger model would fare better because there would be more space to hold it (holding it firmly is also “pressure” in terms of muting the vibrations). But if I had to quantify the difference, I would say that the Leaf Spirit is 3 times more powerful when you’re just barely holding it compared to if you have a good grip on it and/or are applying pressure (you’d likely require a good grip on it if you get it slick with lube or body fluids).

I’m also a little disappointed that when it’s not in use the Spirit doesn’t hold a charge very well. It has an impressive Run Time vs Recharge Time ratio: 2.6 hours of run time for only 2 hours of recharge time (according to the company). Many rechargeable sex toys require more charge time than you’ll get in play time.

Like all luxury sex toys, the Leaf line is covered in pure medical-grade silicone and is very body safe. It’s waterproof, great for travel and the curved shape of the Spirit would work well laying against your pubic mound during penetrative sex.  Due to the small size of Spirit, the whole toy vibrates but the motor is located in the tip. There is a seam in the silicone skin but only the most sensitive people would feel it. Spirit has only one button so it’s easy to use, yet if you want to go down a step in power you have to cycle through and turn it off, first. I’m not a huge fan of that. I also think that the vibe itself would be more aesthetically pleasing without the abundance of required markings on the top, but they are sadly required to be there by law. They do blend in and might even add just a hint of texture for holding on to it. The silicone skin covering the hard plastic toy is the silky soft type and so it’s not a huge dust-magnet like We Vibe silicone can be.

Final thoughts

Would I recommend this? Eh. It depends. If you don’t like pressure with your vibes, or you don’t require a very powerful vibe and you adore the smallness and the green-ness, then yes. Otherwise? I’d probably recommend something else for the money. Cute only goes so far in my book.

 

Click here to read about the properties of silicone sex toys and care & cleaning  |  This toy was provided in exchange for an honest review

Tweet this!

Read More

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission click here to contact me