Aug 302014
 

I’m going to start a new little project, and I can’t do it alone. But hey, it benefits you! 

My reviews here are a good balance of subjective and objective, but sometimes they tip the scales into more subjective. Which is really why I started reviewing in the first place – I had a hard time figuring out if a sex toy was going to work out for me without reading about other people’s experiences. But when I talk about how well a toy did (or didn’t) work out for me, that opinion isn’t going to apply to everyone. Let’s say I couldn’t love a dildo because it’s short; I’m round and not all that flexible, so a short dildo is not going to work for me. But someone else without those issues might absolutely adore that dildo. Another example: the OhMiBod remote control Bluemotion vibrator is something that I’m reluctant to even ask for review, because I know that design won’t work for me and how I’m built.  Since that nub has no prayer of reaching my clitoris, my opinion of how the vibe might work for others could be skewed. 

You get the idea, I’m sure. So basically I want to create a list of other reviewers who review subjectively and who can plonk themselves into little descriptive boxes. I have two ideas for how this will look. The first is a line for each person, and then icons, like the icons SheVibe uses for at-a-glance info on sex toys (if you’re looking at the OMB vibe I linked up there, it’s the icons that let you know if something is anal-safe, rechargeable, waterproof, etc).  Another idea is a table, with names going down the left and attributes going across the top and dots in the boxes. If you have better ideas, please explain them. This is all I could come up with this afternoon. 

Who will qualify for this list? What will the attributes be? The first is easy: I’m looking for people who are not afraid to do negative/critical reviews and who include plenty of “personal experience” information on each review. If your reviews are primarily objective and factual, that won’t really work out for this. I also believe heavily in the value of negative reviews; not only do they help readers determine if your opinions are in line with theirs, but it shows them that you’re not being positive just to please the retailers or your affiliate account.

 Gender: Not necessarily YOUR gender, but the anatomical gender that aligns with what you review for. The body part. This aspect makes the waters a little murky when people are talking about and shopping for sex toys.  I’m not sure how I’m going to word it. I review toys for the vagina and clitoris, but not the butt from a cisfem viewpoint, but yes from a cismale viewpoint.  I really want to include trans reviewers on this list, too, since their experiences with toys can be so different. I try my best, but when a transwoman reader asks for my advice on a sex toy, and typical penis toys are off the table, I’m at a loss because of a lack of personal experience. If there is someone else better equipped to answer this,  from personal experience, I absolutely want to send them to the right place.

Body size and vulva type: Bigger people of any gender can run into the same issue with reach and flexibility. Thinner people don’t usually have that issue. And of course, the vulva issue. Exposed or hidden clitoris? Minimal labia/mons, or prominent? Those factor heavily into whether or not a design will work for someone.  Another aspect I might want to go into is size preference, and find a way to note if someone tends to have pubic bone issues with insertables. 

Sensitivity: How easily can you orgasm from manual stimulation? Easily? Moderate? Difficult? 

Other things, too, like BDSM reviews, reviews slated towards disabled people, and so on.  I don’t know HOW exactly I’m going to do this, but I’m gonna do it.  I just need your input! 

Please give feedback! What attributes do you think should be included? What layout would work best? Hold off for now on giving me your stats, while we work out the kinks and figure out what all should be listed, and how. But please let me know that you want to be included! If you have input but don’t want to publicly comment, please feel free to contact me via email. 

 What if it looked like this for each person:

Dangerous Lilly

  • Vibrations: 4
  • Size – Vaginal: Width: 4 Length: 5
  • Body: Fat, fuller labia, buried clit
  • Gender: Cis female
  • Disabilites: Reduced strength, mild arthritis, issues with flexibility & reach
  • Orgasm ability without toys: 5
  • Partner reviews: prostate stimulators and masturbators, cismale POV
  • Favorite toys: We-Vibe Tango, Njoy Pure Wand, Je Joue Uma
  • Orgasm preference: Clitoral

Scales:

1 to 5, 1 being least intense/smallest/easiest

Orgasm scale – 1 would be it’s easy and consistent, 5 would be it happens never or very rarely & only with much patience. Scale yourself accordingly between those two.

Size  scale -

  1.  1.25″ and under
  2. 1.25 – 1.5
  3. 1.5 – 1.75
  4. 1.75 – 2.0
  5. 2.0 +

Size scale – length

  1. 3″ and under
  2. 3″-5″
  3. 5-6″
  4. 6-8″
  5. 8″ or more OR toys with a long handle

UPDATE: I’d like to be able to publish all of this on a page on my blog, but I’d also like to give people the ability to sort and filter. Embedding a spreadsheet from Google Docs doesn’t work within the confines of the post area space, and wouldn’t look right on mobile, so I’ll provide a link to a version of the spreadsheet that’ll be published on the web. Anytime changes are made or people are added, the published sheet will auto-update.

Aug 292014
 
Fun Factory Stronic Drei Review

Being disappointed by a high-priced much-hyped sex toy that’s seen many positive reviews is nothing new to me. I’m in the extreme minority when it comes to disliking the PalmPower; I’m not one of the legions who would kill for a Mona 2; and I’m not drooling over Vixskin. Yet I was still surprised when I was drastically disappointed in the Fun Factory Stronic Drei. You see, I was hearing words like “thrusting” and “intense” and reading about people basically in love with this line of vibrators–excuse me, pulsators. But when I really finally paid attention to the “thrusting”, I noticed something: The actual “distance” of the movement is no more than 1/2″ at best, and that’s being generous. Add in friction, resistance, etc….and it’s probably only moving 1/8″ of an inch each direction from “start”, if that makes sense. When I think of thrusting, it’s more ….. well, just more. More depth, more action,

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Aug 272014
 

Silagel or Sil-a-gel, no matter how you spell it, should be pronounced as “avoid”. It’s a confusing matter in the sex toy industry, because we apparently cling really hard to our myths. At some point, some retailer assumed that the “sil” in sil-a-gel stood for “silicone”. Not surprisingly, most toys containing sil-a-gel do look “gel-like”. This grand misconception might even be where the “silicone blend” bullshit came from; or vice versa. But I don’t feel like playing the “which sex toy myth was spread around first” game today. I get asked about Sil-a-Gel often enough that I’m writing here about it.  Sil-a-gel is strictly a Doc Johnson creation, so far as I can tell.  From their site: http://www.docjohnson.com/ask-the-doc Q: What is Sil-A-Gel? A: Sil-A-Gel is an anti-bacterial compound that we add to all of our Made-in-USA products. It is not a coating or a separate material. It is added into our material in the raw mixing

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Aug 202014
 
Secret Vibe Remote Control Vibrator by Marc Dorcel

“Are there any decent remote control vibrators?” is probably one of the top five questions I get asked. Since I first wrote about this in 2011, a bunch of new contenders have come on to the market. Most I discount immediately, because the first requirement of a decent remote control vibrator can be figured out just from seeing photos online and reading the description – many of the remote controlled vibrators offer only a tiny remote with a button or two and nothing to give you feedback. The Secret Vibe Remote Control Vibrator nails the first requirement. It’s why I considered reviewing it. But to have success, and not frustration, when using a remote control vibrator in public all three of these requirements must be met:  1. The remote needs to tell the person controlling the vibrator what the person wearing the vibrator is feeling, while being discreet enough that the user feels comfortable handling it

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Aug 122014
 
"TPR Silicone" is a Myth

“TPR-Silicone”? Silicone blends? NOPE. Not possible. For quite some time, we used to believe that there was some bizarre “10% rule” where a manufacturer only had to create a sex toy that contained 10% silicone in order to actually call it silicone for marketing. When I learned that there are no regulations, I learned that the “rule” was a myth and companies could be lying about the material. They could use any material, and claim it to be any material. There is nothing stopping them from out and out lying. And then the lies get spread further because the retailers usually have no option but to parrot the information given to them by the manufacturer. When I first started reviewing in 2008, we (the consumers) thought that silicone blends and “TPR Silicone” was a thing. The manufacturers called it that, the retailers (of course) called it that. In fact, many retailers still do! A google

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Aug 062014
 
PalmPower Wand Massager Review

After reading a number of glowing reviews, some even saying that the PalmPower is their new favorite vibrator, I broke down and tried it. I’m not really a fan anymore of being tied down by a cord, so I had ignored this thing for awhile. PalmPower Wand Massager is made by BMS Factory, makers of that “PowerBullet” you keep seeing in Jopen, Leaf, and other vibes. I had been interested in trying out this design for some time now, back when CalEx was making it. Yes, from everything I can see, the PalmPower is the same thing as the CalExotics Couture Inspire just in a better color scheme, thankfully1 – according to BMS a few years ago, the only thing as powerful as the Vanity VR6. Since I loved the VR6 (internal arm only, though) I assumed the PalmPower / Couture Inspire would have the same deep, rumbling vibrations. I was mislead. Yeah, PalmPower Wand

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