Mar 032011

There once was a girl who owned too many sex toys that recharged. Our fair lass lived in a cottage that was entirely too small for her and all her sex toys. This development, combined with an ADD-stereotyped heroine, led to confusion of mass proportions.

Let’s wrap this up, dear reader. I don’t have the time for a Brothers Grimm-length tale. The moral, as there are morals to all fairy tales, is to be better organized than yours truly. Find ways of marking the chargers so that you know what it goes to.

Last night I had a manic evening. The night before my body had demanded sleep and so I went to bed so early and got so much sleep that by 6pm I was jiggly. Antsy. Couldn’t even sit still long enough for a favorite TV show. Finally, I started to clean. Throw things out. Which led to a tangle of cables on the floor and THAT led to me reorganizing my sex toys at 11pm. With a lack of masking tape, colored tape or even a silver Sharpie I strode out to the kitchen and raided the cabinet of Ziplock bags. Husband queried my sanity of doing this “at this hour”. Let’s take a look at my Twitter updates to give you the best view of the show, shall we?

  • Just found a wall charger & was wondering which toy it might go to. Then I noticed “Nokia” stamped on the plug part. Guess its not for a toy
  • I need a Sex Toy Reviewer’s Guide to Chargers. with photos. *looks at huge pile of unknown chargers*
  • Hrm. I’m a bit worried here. I’m pretty sure that I have two Lelo chargers and only have one Lelo toy still in my possession…..
  • Well thankfully EF shows photos of the toys with the chargers. Now I know which charger is for my Climax Twist. Finally can use it again!!
  • Just went through a buttload of ziploc bags to both pair up chargers & toys and sep silicones.
  • And its official, I have two Lelo chargers, one Lelo toy. Shit! Someone I swapped w has a non-lelo (but working) charger.1
  • Enough rechargeable vibrators, jesus. I think my next project should be acquiring the newer gen of plug-in “massager” styles.
  • Except for the “Fairy Baby Wand“. It’s just too fuckin tiny to be taken seriously as anything but a keychain novelty, in my eyes.
  • Sure sign my ADD is fully in charge:I’m wide awake-I cleaned-I threw shit out-I organized my sex toys whilst rabidly playing ZumaBlitz
  • And achieved a new high score of over 900,000.

So now I’ve got things organized. I have both my Vanity VR6 recharging and the VR2 charging. I found the rechargeable Wahl massager (thankfully the charger said “Wahl” on it) so I can get that review written. Oddly, I always felt that the charger for my Ideal should be white, since the toy itself it white and teal, but no….it’s black. Again, thankfully it has the brand name (Natural Contours) on it. For the same reason I kept thinking that the charger for the Climax Twist was black (and once I shoved in a black charger that fit AND made the charging light turn on but instead of charging, it drained it. wtf?). I have both the regular Acuvibe and the mini Acuvibe but I only found one charger (they have the same oddly-shaped port, thankfully) which I assume is for the regular Acuvibe since the plug portion is so damn huge. Hopefully I can use it on the mini one and it doesn’t blow it up.

Last year or so I wrote up an epic compare-and-contrast 2 part review on massager-style vibrators: the kind that plug in, and the kind that recharge. A lot of new massagers have come out since then so I think I’d like my next task to be a revisiting of the comparisons. Definitely add in a few of the Fairy ones, and the Mystic Wand.

  1. To which @Tue5day responded in agreement that the Gigi I sent her has a charger that actually SAYS “Zini” on it – but it still works on the Gigi! Now I have to figure out which charger is with @Emme0704 since I gave HER the Zini

  7 Responses to “A Fairytale for Sex Toy Reviewers”

  1. That’s one thing I hate about rechargeable toys. I like the ones that are very obviously for specific toys (like Jimmyjane’s white ones with the charging dock), and Fun Factory’s because they actually say FUN FACTORY on them. But I have begun doing the masking tape thing with them because it’s getting ridiculous. I must have like 5 LELO chargers, and really only need one.

  2. I do not have rechargable toys — the only one with a cord is my Hitachi – and that doesnt come off LOL. I have ADD and I have been known to do late night cleanings and organizing too. Good to know Im not alone. I do have a box of “electronics” that really is just all my extension cords, power savers, and a bunch of chargers that I have no idea what they go for. figure I keep them – just in case LOL…. That reminds me tho – i do wanna go thru my toys and see which ones need batteries, which ones I dont use, and which ones should stay close to the bed LOL

    Great article!

  3. LOL! That’s why we love the new Click’N Charge system from FunFactory— one charger takes care of all of our most recent FF toys, and there’s no confusing it with any others. Now if we could just get the pile of misfit chargers from under our bathroom sink sorted out(which went to assorted grooming tools that we may or may not still have), then we’ll be all set!

  4. This amuses me to no end. How I long to be the kind of girl that has so many sex toys she doesn’t know what charger goes where. :-) I’m working on it. I hope you are doing well in the midst of your chaos and mania. We’re thinking of you and wishing you the best in your travels and new endeavors! xoxo

  5. I love rewiring my sound system but all the damn wires drive me crazy. I started labeling each end with a little masking tape flag that labels what I’m running what to what. Same idea here.
    Lost chargers are the worst. :( I bet the toy-less ones feel just has bad about themselves.

  6. Haha, I LOVE this entry. What a crack-up it was. Whenever I have a bad day, I’ll be sure to come back to this one.

    I don’t have any rechargable toys, and at that, I don’t have a large collection, as I keep “editing my stockpile” and selling/giving things away, but if I did, I’m sure I’d have your same problem! Wish I could help, and let me know if I can.

  7. This is great! I wish I had MORE rechargeable toys! Hmmmm, wait…assuming that the chargers multiply like cellphone chargers do “in real life,” maybe not. I have a pile of chargers and no phones.

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