Posted by Lilly | 8 Comments
Vignettes: Virtual Peep Show
Webcams are such a glorious invention. Better still is finding a free members-only chatroom that is webcam-capable and located on a NSFW forum. Nakedness is encouraged, orgasms are even better when shared, and it all is an exhibitionist/voyeur’s dream. Sometimes I watch, sometimes I show off. Sometimes I show off while watching someone else show off. It’s safe but its naughty. It’s thrilling yet it’s controlled.
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Her webcam is on but she’s still clothed. She’s a regular and everybody knows Hope is going to show off something at some point, so they are watching her feed. Since she’s one of two females in the room that night and I find her hot, I keep my eye on her while I browse the couple other cams that are up. Most are watching, tonight, like me. After some chatting and without warning, she shoves down the straps of her tank top and reveals perfectly tanned (but fake) tits that I can’t stop staring at. I’m sure the others in the room have the same problem. Compliments for her fly by on my screen. It’s mostly men in there; the women are outnumbered. From what I can tell most of the women there are not bi so I’m the only female voicing appreciation and this is noticed by the watchers and by Hope.
My tongue ached to be teasing female flesh right then, it was downright absurd.
I tell her this and she responds by moving the cam down to reveal her bare cunt. My aching need multiplied a thousand-fold right then as I watched a small, slightly-choppy webcam showing Hope proceed to masturbate for the room. I couldn’t hear her because she didn’t have her microphone on that time, but watching was a turn-on enough. I came while watching her second round.
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Danielle was another regular who was frequently around at the same time as Hope. She bared her breasts a lot and would do so anytime I coyly asked in chat. One evening when both Danielle and Hope were around, my arousal was kicked into overdrive as both of them began showing off. Luckily I could see both at the same time because it would have been torture to know I was missing out on one. I kept my bullet vibe on low to draw it out as long as possible for me as I stared, mouth open, at the two cute girls who loved to show off.
I let the room in general, and the girls too, know that I was watching and appreciating and jerking off with them. I was encouraged by the greedy, horny men in the room to join them on camera. It was dark, my webcam sucked and I just wasn’t up for being on camera but I figured I could at least turn on my microphone. I watched the little icons light up next to name after name to signify that they were listening to me breathing, sighing, whimpering and moaning quietly. Hope finished first and then the icon next to her name lit up so I knew that she was listening to me. She stared at her laptop with a finger in her mouth, listening to me jerk off as I watched her friend Danielle. That thought alone made it impossible to hold back much more so I ended up coming while about 14 people listened. It wasn’t that I was being spied on that fed me though, it was watching a big dildo hammer away at Danielle’s cunt. Watching her ass clench in what surely was a powerful orgasm.
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Women who like to watch guys jerk off can always find one in the room with his webcam on. One afternoon I wandered in to find two people who only had eyes for each other. They both had their microphones on, so I could hear the lusty and flirty exchanges as she stripped slowly for him; him and his hard cock that he was slowly stroking. I heard his groans of appreciation when she was finally topless and playing with her tits. I heard her giggle at that.
They were only paying attention to each other; they ignored the chat and paid no mind that others were watching. They interacted only with each other. I silently begged her to strip the whole way, right along with his begging, and she quickly acquiesced. This was a true voyeur moment for me. This was as close to spying without being known as I could get.
Soon enough we were down to little else than moaning and groaning and sex sounds as they jerked off for each other. She was deliciously loud; loud enough that I had to turn off the audio feed from her and could hear her coming through his speakers. I, of course, had my bullet vibe nestled against my clit but I wasn’t even helping it along. I just sat here almost still. I always have to help the vibe along by pressing it against my clit but I think the combination of seeing and hearing and spying was sensory overload. She was straddling a dildo that was sitting on her chair, rubbing her clit furiously and making an awful racket while working towards her orgasm. He was laying in bed watching her and all I could see was a blur of his hand stroking his cock quickly; he was moaning and talking dirty to her. Via his audio feed and through his speakers I could clearly hear her say “oh god I’m coming”, followed by a loud confirmation. Seconds later he followed suit and their moans mingled, and without warning….I was coming too. With no outside help, no special contortions to press the bullet harder to my clit, no nipple pinching…..I came in my chair, still watching. Then I logged off once I recovered.
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My time spent at this forum/chatroom was months ago, but still have other things to write about. Because yes, I did turn on my camera a time or two, so you’ll get to hear about that side of it too.
Edit: Sorry but no, I’m not giving out the site name…..
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Ask Lilly: Introducing a Couple to Sex Toys
I’d say about once a week I am asked by my readers to recommend sex toys. Men, women, couples…..specific queries or newbie general “I just want a sex toy” questions, I get them all.
And you know what? I genuinely like doing it. Unless of course the asker gets too personal and creepy – I’m basically your sales associate….not your sex surrogate. Overall though most are nice and respectful requests. I don’t just rattle off a few typical suggestions, though. I gather the data about the person/couple using the items and I go digging. I love doing this for people, because I like helping and sharing what I’ve learned, but it’s not a quick process so it’s really nice when they go buy the products I recommended via my affiliate links.
Today’s Ask Lilly segment is a recommendation list for a couple who have never used toys before.
The Details:
She: doesn’t orgasm clitorally very well from fingers or tongue and (much like I used to be) tends to have her hubby go for g-spot play during sex. Is probably curious about vibrators for both area
He: is also looking for a toy to initiate himself with. What good is finding your prostate if you don’t have the right tools to make it happy?
They: are looking for items that can be used together, or for just her on her own. Willing to try a few things out in the first go and spend a little more for better products, but without buying only luxury items. They are trying to increase her pleasure level overall and get away from the frustration they both feel when she doesn’t orgasm.
G-Spot Recommendations:
Normally I recommend my beloved Pure Wand to everyone, but if you’ve never owned any toys, I think you should learn the new adventures of you + sex toys with something a little more forgiving than metal. I also find that the Pure Wand is more about solo play than him using it on her.
1. Lelo Ella – I never tried this one because I already loved my Pure Wand, plus I had already figured out that I need the shape of the Pure Wand to work with my arms & body. But Ella is rated very highly by many of my peers.
2. Lelo Mona – I recommended this as a G-spot vibe if they’d like to give vibrations a go. It’s not overly powerful like putting a Gee Whizzard hat on the Hitachi, and the vibrator will be a nice addition to play.
3. G-Spot Glass Dildo – The curve and the unforgiving glass can be just what some women need for g-spot pressure, without dropping the money for the Njoy Pure Wand just yet.
Clitoral Recommendations:
It’s hard to tell if her preference for g-spot play and inability to have a clit orgasm is because she needs a level of clit stim that fingers and tongues can’t provide, or she’s so overly-sensitive that their attempts are sensory-overload for her. Either way, I’m going for the lower-pitched vibrators because they’re more universally liked. Unless it’s known that she does indeed have a clit o’steel like me, I’m not going to recommend the powerhouse vibes like Hitachi or Climax Twist or Acuvibe.
1. Fun Factory Layaspot – This is in case she can’t handle the more powerful vibrations. It has the right pitch and many levels of vibration intensity. It can be intense enough, it’s gotten *me* off, but it’s a diffused sort of vibration, rather than the pinpoint that a bullet can be.
2. Doc Johnson Harmony Bullet – I think that this bullet has the right mixture of being nice to look at, fairly well made, and powerful at the right vibration pitch level. Also the Doc Johnson Black Magic Bullet - same motor, same design, different price.
Prostate Recommendations:
Prostate toys can be used solo or in couple play. Masturbation, blow jobs, even sex – having something in your butt pressing on your prostate will make your toes curl and your whole body sing.
1. Lelo Bob - it’s very simple and basic in it’s design. Non-threatening, good for beginners
2. Nexus Neo – really want to make a good go at prostate stimulation heaven? I’ll be properly reviewing this one soon, husband has been liking it! But it wasn’t his first, so the girth was good for him. Prostate toys with this weird blobby shape are on the right track – just like the vagina, the butt isn’t a straight canal. The Nexus Neo works with the natural contractions in anal muscles to massage the p-spot. It can be used for beginners to just enhance cock-centric orgasms, or by advanced players with time on their hands who can have p-spot only orgasms.
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Posted by Lilly | 17 Comments
Frosted Cockcake
Two basic facts:
1. I don’t swallow. I don’t want cum in my mouth, and I won’t lick it all up either. I have a hair-trigger gag reflex and thick cum just grosses me out. I don’t like seeing photos of it all dripping out of a chicks mouth, either. I can’t help it.
2. Simple powdered-sugar icing looks remarkably like cum.
So when husband and I were trying out Burger King’s new Funnel Cake Sticks (pretty yum, btw) our minds were in the gutter as I was cleaning off warm gooey icing from my fingers. I just looked at him and said “Save the rest of that icing for later. You, me, this icing and the camera have a date later” and boy you shoulda seen his eyes light up.
And it ended up being great fun for him to take all these photos. His arousal during was equal parts the visual and of course the feeling of my lips and tongue cleaning up all the icing I kept dribbling all over. I can look at these photos without issue, because *I know* it’s icing and not cum. He knows it, too, when he sees the photos but it doesn’t fail to arouse him utterly and so quickly. To him, it’s almost as good as if it were photos of the real thing.
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Posted by Lilly | 2 Comments
Lost and Found
I plan to write more on this, for this blog, but for now this is just a quick meta-post. The post before this one detailed how I finally care enough about me, for myself, to want to look and feel better.
But my husband felt that some commenters might have missed that point. By saying that perhaps women who appear polished and well-dressed are really hiding flaws and fears might have some merit with some women, but it certainly isn’t a standard. I feel that many of those women appear that way because they *care about themselves* and how they look. The old adage of “look better to feel better” is really so much more true than some of us can realize. I feel sexier when I dress sexier. I feel more attractive when I put on my make-up and dress smartly. I feel it, so therefore I exude it, and therefore…I AM. For years, I did this all for the benefit of others above myself. But now, it’s for me above and beyond all else. It’s going to extend past wearing smarter clothes and into eating healthier and exercising more. I don’t know how, but I’m going to do it. He was more proud of me than I expected, upon reading that post. He was more moved than I expected, as well. I guess because you don’t see the changes in yourself as easily as the ones closest to you.
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I feel like you all are going to think we have a sploshy food fetish, but I swear we do not. We got messy with some food again the other day, but this time it was purely for the camera and I ran for the washcloth right after. Why for the camera? Well let’s just say inspiration struck when eating something, providing us with photos and a mental image for him that normally wouldn’t occur. You’ll see soon enough!
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Over there in the sidebar, up top, I put a new textbox to alert you whenever I see a really good you-can’t-miss-this sale on a fabulous sex toy that I love. I’ve got alerts set for a number of toys but this first one is near and dear to my cunt heart – the Njoy Pure Wand. Right now Edenfantasys has a deal where you get a free $50 giftcard towards your next purchase, if you buy the Pure Wand (and buying the Pure Wand gets you free overnight shipping). If you buy sex toys even on a semi-regular basis, that’s kinda like getting the Pure Wand for nearly half off. In a roundabout $50-worth-of-free-sex-toys way. Which is awesome in my book :)
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Posted by Lilly | 9 Comments
Regaining My Femme
This originally appeared over at Edencafe.com, but I’m re-posting it here in hopes of some helpful comments and giving my thoughts more exposure.
As a little kid I can remember being quite the tomboy. I disliked Barbie Dolls. I preferred my toy guns and make-believe horses to baby dolls and playing dress-up. I can remember being just as dirty as a boy, with just as poor hygiene habits. Shameful, but true. Eventually peer pressure and friends ahead of me in terms of femme influenced my behavior (in other words: Junior High).
I can remember painting my nails. I can remember that it never lasted long, I picked even back then. I can remember owning numerous skirts and dresses. In fact, I had one year in High School where I wore little other than skirts and dresses to school. Why? No clue. I think perhaps I had just truly discovered that boys were attracted to my looks (and by looks I now realize it was more like my C cup tits). And of course I used to wear pantyhose a lot with those skirts and dresses. I owned numerous pairs of cute dress shoes. Not high fashion, mind you….. keep in mind this was the 90′s and High School girls then did NOT look like High School girls now (and HS girls these days are better at hair, make-up and stylish clothes than me. Aren’t I supposed to be more wise??).
And then it all tapered off again.
Recently I thought very hard as to why; what happened, what was the catalyst?
Ahh yes. I can almost pinpoint it now. I gained weight slowly after my dad died. So slowly at first that I almost didn’t notice. I bought cheap, crappy “temporary” clothes because I was in denial. But then they became tight as well. In short order, I got fat.
The fatter I became, the less choices I had for clothing. The worse I felt, the worse I looked. I can remember a time period when I barely wore makeup, hell some days I didn’t even wear a proper bra! I worked retail jobs so my work clothes were a genderless outfit. I wasn’t a big social butterfly, so my other clothes weren’t that great because they didn’t need to be. I had a fiance who loved me and wanted me just the way I was, so what did it matter? It only mattered when I was occasionally around a certain friend who always looked pretty no matter what, who was thin and wore better clothes. I felt “dumpy” no matter how hard I tried, when I did try. I reverted back to my tomboy childhood ways and stopped caring. I scoffed at the women who got manicures. What a waste of money! How silly! I could spend that $50 on a computer part and be WAY happier! Oh how I laugh at that, now.
The catalyst for the revival of femme within myself was that I met someone online; my monogamous relationship opened up. For a while there though my style was half-femme half-slut. If it was low cut and sexy while still being flattering and covering up my bad spots, then it was for me. In some ways that is still my fashion sense. Over the next few years I slowly, very slowly, crept back into my femme.
Last year, meeting my then-Dom created an even bigger catalyst. He didn’t try to change me, he just saw the potential in me and he knew me – he knew that I saw the office women around the city and felt incredibly inferior and ugly. There’s so many women surrounding me that are SO put together. They looked like they had been through a grand makeover and came out as a shining example of what happens when a skilled stylist has a good canvas to work with. Classy, feminine, always in heels that are still going to be out of my reach.
He encouraged me to go get that manicure that I laughed at years ago, and after a few weeks of attempting on my own to transform my nails from raggedy jaggy stubs to healthy canvasses I gave in. I think I must have stopped to look at them 50 times in the first few days. Then I became minorly obsessed with the littlest hang-nail or chip in my polish. I always had my nailcare kit in my bag. Recently I’ve slacked off a little but I’m ready to get back into it for ME. I don’t want to look longingly at other classy, feminine, pretty women and be jealous. I want to BE one.
I managed to find a pair of “heels” that are femme and cute and make me feel better than my dressy Sketchers. Kitten heels, but its progress. I’ll never wear the towering heels, because my body/feet just can’t do it. But I’ll keep on the lookout for more like these heels.
It’s been years since I would allow myself to leave the house without the basics in makeup, but I need someone experienced to teach me the finer points of being polished. I want to learn more eye make-up styles. And oh my hair…..my poor hair. I have the fine/thin unruly hair of a stylist’s nightmares. Either I am completely unskilled or my hair will just never have that polished feminine look. The 35 different hair products cluttering up my tiny bathroom are a testament though that I try.
I’m still fat. I’m still thoroughly discouraged by my clothes and the clothes that I can find in my size that are equally flattering, age-appropriate, and the right blend of sexy and classy. Perhaps if I had more money to spend on clothes, then I would dress myself the way I want. But for now, the only way that I see out is to lose a lot of weight. And man, that’s about as depressing as looking inside my own closet.
Maybe not. Maybe I just need a mentor. A Femme Guru. Send me to finishing school where I learn to walk in heels with a book balanced on my head.
Or just fuckin nominate me for “What Not to Wear”.
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