Review: Vital Bullet

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May 292010

One of my favorite sex toys to review are remote-controlled bullets. Well, calling them “bullets” is a bit of a misnomer, I guess. They’re usually egg-shaped. But I digress.

There’s a big reason why I love bullets: I can nestle it in between my labia and sit there, hands-free, enjoying the vibrations as they rumble on my clit. Mostly hands-free. Most bullets, most of the time, require my help to climb that last hill to orgasm by pressing it and holding it to just that right perfect spot on my clit. I’ve found that, for me, price has no bearing on whether or not a vibrating bullet will get me to orgasm. It’s all about the speed and type of vibrations.

The Vital Bullet is probably about as cheap as you can get. And about as powerful. It’s not in the dreaded “high-pitched buzzy” camp of motors that can leave me itchy rather than aroused. On it’s top speed it might very well be entirely too powerful for women with a sensitive clit. It’s made by WHK GmbH which means……absolutely nothing. The packaging is a cheap plastic blister pack with a cheesy half-naked girl on the insert card; there’s absolutely no brand name visible on the packaging. The package tells you the very basic details: “quiet”, “4-speed”, “powerful” and “100% waterproof”.

This bullet has an odd feature – the bullet can unplug from the top of the remote pack. I suppose this could come in handy if it were a name-brand bullet and you could purchase a replacement bullet-only (since that’s where all the wires that can come loose, reside) but for the low price of $9.95 for a brand new one?….why would you bother? If I had any other remote bullets with this plug feature I’d test to see if they’re interchangeable but alas, I do not. I’ve only found one useful reason to unplug the bullet from the battery pack – if it’s not plugged in, then it can’t be accidentally turned on should you find yourself in a situation where you’re traveling with it and don’t want it accidentally turning on (and you also left the batteries in).

The cord is a mere 20″ long. Most other bullets I’ve owned have a cord around 30″ in length. 20″ is pretty short, especially when one is using it the way I tend to use bullets – tucked into my panties, the cord coming out my waist-band and the pack shoved into my front pocket. The control pack is elementary. A slider that clicks along 5 positions: off, low, mid, high, super. “Mid”, because it’s a thrummy-lower-pitched motor, has actually gotten me to orgasm if I’m super-aroused. “High” is perfect when I need a little more oomph. “Super” is a setting I like but I cannot leave it on this setting once I start to orgasm, it’s just too much. Yes! I said something is too much! (see: Am I becoming more sensitive?? for more info) The actual bullet is about the same size as most other ones I’ve tried like the Bnaughty. It’s a bit noisy but then again, many bullets are. If you’re trying to discreetly use this in a silent bedroom….forget about it. Under the covers though? Nestled under panties and jeans? Doable.

The pack also has a singular red light to let you know it’s turned on. Easy to cover up if need be, doesn’t make the whole hand pack glow like the Harmony Bullet. It takes the standard 2 AA batteries, fits nicely in the palm of your hand with the slider bar in just the right position.

I can’t believe I’m actually saying this but……

I’m recommending a $10 sex toy from a no-name company with terrible packaging.

When you get down to it, though, bullets are one of the very very few sex toys that fall into that range that one can safely recommend. I suggest you buy two, because lord knows how long it’ll last. My Doc Johnson Harmony Bullet has actually been my go-to bullet these days so I’ve not put this one through the ringer. At $10 though it’s no hardship to replace once it does crap out.

Thanks to for sending me this (way too long ago) to review!

Review: Silk Touch Egg Vibe

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Sep 262009

On my quest to find a better bullet/egg vibrator – one that’s powerful and also well made so that it will last long – I’ve had a few duds and a few that were not bad but just not right. In a way I feel like Goldilocks. Goldilocks and the 100-acre Sex Toy Store. Wait no, I’m mixing my childhood stories there.

Sadly Goldilocks (Lillilocks?) has not yet found her “just right”. The Silk Touch Egg Vibe had potential but it floundered and then finally failed completely. I had thought that it was just mine and that I somehow got a dud, but my dealer (Drew) hunted and found out that more than half of the people who reviewed it had the same problem or similar. So for that reason alone, I can’t recommend this vibe – especially at a price tag of $27.99 at the time of this writing. For the quality of the item, the price should be half that. This vibe will just *poof* stop working. Click the big button and it turns back on, for half a minute. Sometimes only half a second.


There are other reasons though why this vibrator is just not up to par. For starters Continue reading »

Sep 052009


It’s a well known fact around here that I’m a huge huge fan of my Silver Bullet vibrator (both incarnations of it). One of the biggest reasons I’m a huge fan is the way and reason that I use bullets – in stealth mode. Masturbating when and where I “shouldn’t”, like at work. Bullets offer me this opportunity because they can be largely hands-free. I can tuck a bullet against my clit and it stays there, held in place by my cunt lips and panties.

And while I do so love these very inexpensive silver bullets, they’re a very cheap sex toy. Multi-speed with a powerful motor and the right kind of vibrations but the wires that the design is dependent upon are ultimately the death of them sooner or later. Ever since my first silver bullet I’ve been on a quest to find a better version – one that is made better and will last me longer. And I need to find one before my current SB dies! I can’t be without one again, I learned that lesson the hard way.

One of the main reasons that I chose this bullet in particular was because of fellow reviewer, Epiphora who couldn’t say enough good things about it. She was so sure that it would turn my opinion the other way in regards to CalExotics as a whole.

More bullets are coming on to the market where the bullet cord plugs into the power pack. What good does this do you? Well, not a whole lot unless you own 3 or 4 different ones. They all have the same jack so they are interchangeable. I switched around two such bullets that I own, one made by Topco and this one, and it did work. Did it make a difference? Yeah, it did. One power pack was a little more powerful.

However, this made me learn something. There’s two things contributing to the vibrations of the bullet. The motor, which is inside the bullet/egg, and the powerhouse capabilities of the handpack. If the motor of the bullet doesn’t deliver the *type* of vibrations that you like, giving it more power might not make any difference. I know that for me, it doesn’t. If a superficial buzzy vibe is made more intense it doesn’t quite matter to my clit. Sure I might get off eventually but it’s not what I *like*.

Onto the Xtreme Pack G-Spot Bullet. It employs colors that are different and perhaps more pleasuing – deep purple and lime green. The handpack has grippy sides. Different patterns in addition to speeds and controller buttons for both. One BIG plus is that aside from the up and down buttons for speed and pattern, it has an on/off button. Nothing is more annoying that having to cycle through 7-10 patterns on a vibe just to turn it off; if you’re in a hurry, you might miss the click for ‘off’.

The bullet itself is bigger than I’m used to. Not wider, just longer, and with a hooked/curved tip. It is meant for G-spot use; many toy manufacturers feel that a straight-bodied toy is automatically G-spot friendly if they add a 45 or 90 degree curved little pointy tip to it. Well, my G-spot is bigger around than these little tips and so it actually makes it more difficult AND it doesn’t hit my entire spot.

But given that I didn’t intend for this to be used as a G-spot toy (too short, too narrow and the shortness and the cord mean I can’t really angle it and apply pressure to my g-spot with it), I guess that tip doesn’t matter here. Well, it still does. Again, my body just doesn’t like tiny vibrating tips. My clit doesn’t like it, it likes a wider contact spot. The length of the bullet made it damn near impossible for my “stealth mode” use. It just didn’t fit.

On the downside to the many nice features of the handpack is this one:

Am I going to communicate with aliens? Land a plane? I don’t know and I’m not sure I want to know. Perhaps the light show would be more appreciated if I were jerking off while not sober? Either way…’s not very discrete. And it doesn’t seem to serve an actual purpose. If you really need the light show to tell you what setting you’re on, then you have a bigger problem that I cannot solve with sex toys alone.

I personally had issue with the power level (just shy of “enough”) and also the fact that at some angles of the wire, it would stop working for a few seconds. If I moved it, shook it, it started vibrating again. But as you all know, when you’re thisclosetocoming……”We interrupt this service” is the worst thing ever, even if for just a second or three.

CalExotics does offer three other Xtreme Pack bullets. Perhaps I would like it if the bullet shape were different…..but then I read the reviews and see that perhaps not all Xtreme Packs are created equal (I’m not sure why or how not, since they all appear to be the same but with different colors) and I might be even more disappointed.

You would like this if:

  • You like pinpoint vibrations
  • You like slimmer insertables
  • You have the privacy for a light show
  • Or you’d like to alert the tri-county area to the fact that you’re jerking off
  • Your clitoris isn’t a picky bitch
  • You love patterns

Skip this and buy 2 cheaper silver bullets if:

  • You prefer the contact point of vibrators to cover a little more surface area
  • You want a clitoral bullet and not a G-spot bullet
  • You use it for a purpose like mine or similar
  • You could give a hang about patterns and instead you go for high-speed full-on

Either way, take a look around at their other bullet & egg vibrators to make a more informed choice. I *personally* don’t feel that this bullet is worth the cost, but you might feel differently. Others do!

May 302009

(and a mish-mash of other things)

Right now has a lot of kits. These kits allow you to get a major toy of a brand name you’ll recognize (others include Rock Chick, Fleshlight, etc) and a few other “extra” toys that are of the cheaper variety (and you cannot tell the brand of the extra items, for the most part). I had requested the Berman Center Selene Vibrating Clitoral Pump Sex Toy Kit (boy that’s a mouthful!) mainly because I was very interested in trying a clitoral pump and also it included a Mini-Mite massager – which I figured might be the same brand as my old beloved red pocket rocket – and a Silver Bullet which appeared to be very similar to my original much-loved-may-it-rest-in-peace Bullet.

Continue reading »

Apr 112009

Perfect Touch Mega-Bullet (made by Synergy Erotic)


Size comparison next to the BNaughty vibe

About a month ago or so, my beloved Silver Bullet vibe died. It had become my stand-by vibe and of course it was my work vibe. Soon after it died, another bullet-type came to me for review from I was excited right away – it takes -3- AA batteries. 3!!! Most only take 2! And oh I was not disappointed with the power, like I had been with other bullet vibes….oh HELL it’s wonderful!

Edit: I found this little bit of info on the manufacturer’s site, and I found it interesting. Higher-quality bullet vibe makers, listen up!!!!! (now I know what “does it” for me – a motor that spins a bit slower):

The Perfect Touch Mega-Bullets are manufactured with a 15% larger motor that spins a bit slower than your typical bullet motor, but it also swings a MUCH larger counter-weight, which provides an EXTREMELY powerful sensation {they aren’t joking!!!}.

However, with strength comes flaws.


Not sure if you can tell, it does have a bit of “cord protector” as the wires exit the bullet, but they’re not firmly in place. I can push/pull on the cord and it’ll go in and out of the bullet. Since the bare wires in there are wrapped around contacts which make the whole thing work……moving wires spell a short life span.

It’s inexpensive, as most bullet vibes are, and I’m so sad that the manufacturer couldn’t do better with this. One major problem with the cheap construction is that it’s unreliable. My first one we deemed to be a fluke, defective, so quickly sent me a new one. The problem with the first one, I’ve determined, is that the wires that connect to the motor in the bullet were loose. If I moved the wire outside of the bullet to the “right” position, it would work. At first it would work somewhat more reliably, requiring a little bit of a shake to make it vibrate again. The replacement one has not had that problem, but it seems that the motor is off balance. At some angles (and the differences are a hair’s-width) it’s not very noisy. At other angles, it’s very noisy, like the vibrating part is hitting the hard plastic.

This makes it very hard for me to use it at work. Oh don’t get me wrong, I have used it a few times at work. I had to, I had nothing else! When I have used it… It was sometimes a quick ride but a wild one. My orgasms were very powerful; keeping a straight face and normal demeanor at work while using this one was nearly impossible as my orgasm crashed over me and my cunt throbbed.

Another flaw is that the power dial on the side is turned on WAY too easily – I swear one wrong move as I’m removing/reinserting a battery and it’s buzzing away (not good when you’re in public!) – but yet the “dimmer switch” aspect isn’t consistent. The first bullet they sent me was more noticeable in its varying levels of vibration. The second one wasn’t as much.

A third flaw is the design. The hand pack is very big, partially because it takes 3 AA’s. Also, the bullet is pretty big. This might be something that most of you won’t care about or might even like – my reasons for caring about the size are because of the circumstances in which I use it.

When the first one WAS working, I didn’t even need to turn it all the way up to high in order to orgasm. And you guys know I have a clit o’ steel.

Do I recommend it? That’s a tough call. If you require more power, like I do, and you don’t care if it’s a bit noisy sometimes then yes I do recommend it. It’s cheap. However, it’s unreliable.

I’ll keep plugging away, looking for my perfect bullet vibe for clitoral stimulation.

sextoys more eggs and bullets

Jan 242009

Inner Desire Love Egg

In some ways, this is a step up from the Silver Bullet. In design and construction, it’s almost identical to the Bnaughty (but quite a bit less money). The upgrade from the SB is that reinforced bit of plastic/whatever where wire meets egg, extends the life of the toy. The motor is identical to the Bnaughty – meaning that it’s just a smidge less powerful than the Silver Bullet, but most women are not going to notice or care about that. For those “moar power!!!” women like me, it’s enough to make a difference. But I do see this lasting longer than the Silver Bullet and it gets me off, albeit a wee bit slower.

Keep in mind – this isn’t for clitoral stimulation only! The soft matte finish slides easily over and around nipples. As I mentioned with the Silver Bullet, it’s also a very nice addition to blowjobs.

The only real differences between the Inner Desire Love Egg and the Bnaughty is that on the Bnaughty there is that extra reinforcement not only on the egg end, but where the wires go into the controller. Also, Bnaughty comes in three colors – red, black and chocolate. The Inner Desire Love Egg is a dusty pink.

The material coating the egg and controller is powdery-soft and Phthalate-free. As with the Bnaughty there are 4 levels of vibration at the push of the flush-flat buttons on the controller.

Right now VibeReview is still having their Winter Sale, and the Inner Desire Love Egg is 35% off, making it a very affordable $14.92. I don’t know how long the sale is on for, but I suggest you shop soon as it’s been going on for about a month or so now!