Posted by Lilly | 6 Comments

So, New York, what do you have to offer me?

The time is beginning to approach once more……

The annual NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar party is happening on October 1.

And despite being in the calendar, a part of me is really waffling on whether or not to go. You see, I’m a bit of an oxymoron. I don’t do well in big groups, but I also don’t do well alone. The sheer madhouseness of the party gives me the twitches a bit, and given the stellar guestlist this year it will be an even bigger draw for attendance.

But my trips to NYC aren’t just about the party itself. It’s equally about spending time with blogger friends I don’t see much, as well as trying to get in a little sightseeing, a little NYC Experience. I’ve seen some great little things here and there over my 4 past trips but there’s still a LOT I want to see and experience.

However…

I need a guide, a buddy. It makes me nervous to just go there with no mostly-firm plans to fill up my time. And I’m just not the type of person who likes to explore and sightsee by myself. I love sharing the moment and the “Wow look at that!” with another kindred spirit.

Places I’ve seen:

~Parts of Central Park, Chinatown, Little Italy, Astor Place, LES,  Financial District. Just parts, though.
~ Rockafeller Plaza and that area
~ GCT
~Washington Memorial Arch

Places on my list:

~A good italian dinner in the Bronx
~The Worlds Fair globe
~Coney Island
~Battery Park
~ The Cloisters
~ Buildings. Cool, old interesting architecture. Places with history, with a story.
~ Some sort of telescope view thingie that you can see into London? Is that still there?
~Museum of Sex (Thanks UrbanRogue for reminding me!)
~Pirate ship. Elizabeth of Sex in the Public Square shot her Calendar pics there last year and I read it was a restaurant or….something? Am I remembering incorrectly?

I guess my decision to go will be based on what plans I can make ahead of time, and who I can count on hanging out with. Any volunteer tour guides? As you can see I don’t need the “tourister” tour.

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Posted by Lilly | 6 Comments

How quickly we forget

Very short post today, as my brain is fried and this sense of being overwhelmed just won’t quit. I’ve been reading a lot of things lately in the sex bloggosphere that make me shake my head in disgust. It’s adding to my writers block because I just don’t know what to say. Validating a ridiculous assertation or argument with a rebuttal seems pointless. So I’ll remind you all of this one point to keep in mind:

There are always two (or even three) sides to every story.  If all you’re hearing is one side, one negative side, then perhaps you should step back before you jump on bandwagons and consider how many grains of truth lie in this one side. Jealousy, pettiness, anger, hurt, etc have ways of inflating drama and making half-truths feel real to the listener of tales of woe, betrayal or dismissal and vacuum-cleaner-salesman tales of caution, injury and how your life is miserable relying on product A when what you really need is product B.

At any rate, if you listen to people who are full of hot air, you’ll just end up confused. I know I am, after reading this interview with Prince wherein he proclaims that the Internet is a has-been:

He says: “The internet’s completely over. I don’t see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won’t pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can’t get it.

“The internet’s like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good.

“They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.”

Read more: http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2010/07/05/prince-world-exclusive-interview-peter-willis-goes-inside-the-star-s-secret-world-115875-22382552/#ixzz0sukWdp8d

Thank you, Prince, I see the light now. Your music is awesome but you’re a strange little bird.

Here’s some “numbers” for you, dear readers, enjoy:

One of my favorite FM.com participants, Tori Black.

And don’t forget about my Formspring box over there. I allow anonymous questions and some of them I’ll answer here on the blog.

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Posted by Lilly | 13 Comments

Judgmental Women

Ask any heavy woman and she’ll most likely admit to have some (or many) moments of feeling a perceived shame against her, just for her weight. I say perceived because the majority of people are not rude enough to say to your face how disgusted they are by your excess fat or your healthy appetite. And by “to your face” I mean in person. Bloggieland gives many people false bravado and arrogance.

Why do we assume they’re giving us the body-check-glance and thinking all sorts of negative things? Probably because of the internet, to be frank. Because we can read their thoughts that they feel safe in saying to the faceless nameless crowd. Perhaps some overweight women were also overweight in the years of primary school and high school, when children can be downright mean.

We might feel like shit when we realize we’re the largest person in the room.

We might purposely under-eat when in the company of thinner acquaintances for fear they’ll think we’re a pig for eating like a normal, healthy person.

And…..we might unfairly be judging people. That which we fear and assume is happening to us.

This weekend I found myself at a family reunion wherein half of the family are people I wouldn’t recognize if I passeed in the street – heck some I’ve never met! There were two women there a little younger than me, both thin, both gorgeous. I felt intimidated. I’m sure they were very nice people but I unfairly assumed otherwise; assumed they were judging me. This didn’t occur to me until I spoke out loud how I felt more comfortable speaking to one of the afore-mentioned women after hearing that she’d spent some time pretty overweight herself and struggled to lose it. Granted, her weight issues and weight loss were nothing like mine. But I still had this newly-perceived camaraderie. Comfort.

I need to fucking stop doing this. I have more than enough friends in this community who are thin and who are NOT judging me based on my weight alone. And I need to lose the pointless body-envy.

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Posted by Lilly | 8 Comments

Does Size Matter?

This question was very simply asked of me recently on my Formspring. It seems to be a very popular question for men to ask of women. Is it perhaps those that might fall into the smaller-than-average camp doing the asking so that they hear more women say “No, it doesn’t matter” to bring up their confidence? Or are too many men made to think that anything less than 7″ is considered to be small?

Britni recently addressed something similar, regarding being a size queen with dildos but not with bio-cock. I’m pretty much the same as her. I am most definitely a size queen when it comes to my sex toys…but there’s a reason for that. Using a dildo is very VERY different from how I get fucked by a guy. The angle, the force behind it, the speed, etc. When I’m using a really fat dildo, I tend to barely move it at all. I like the full feeling, the pressure. I’ve never fucked a guy with a cock quite as big as the fattest dildo that I’ve used. My husband is fairly well-endowed, and there was a pretty long time period in my life when the first few moments of penetration with him were painful. I’ve luckily moved past that now, but why I did I have no clue.

Too big?

There is, in my opinion, such a thing as way too big when it comes to bio-cock. I have to be perfectly honest with you….if your cock is any more than 8″ long or 2″ around….I’ll likely pass on sex. Especially in length. The vagina can and does expand during arousal and penetration, especially the last 2/3; the cervix will retract as well. The amount of expansion and retraction though varies from woman to woman. Some women can accommodate a 9″ cock…some can only handle half of what I consider my max. To me though whenever I get the ubiquitous cock-shots from Craigslist or dating site emails, if the guy is showing off his monster cock…..I utter an “eeek!” and move along to the next one.

Some positions, for my husband and I, are quite difficult. Doggie style for instance. In that position, if he’s not careful, he’ll bang my cervix and it’s quite painful. And sex isn’t as fun for either of us if we have to focus on being careful.

Too small?

“It’s not the size of your cock, it’s how you use it” is true 97% of the time. But back in the day I can recall being with a couple of guys whose cock was shorter and thinner than I was accustomed to…..to the point where I had to actually ask “is it in yet?”. Either they were unskilled or what, I’m not sure but I do know that there is a “too small” for me…… However, I’ve yet to meet a man again who was that small and it’s not common. “Too small” in my opinion is less than 4″ long and less than 1″ wide. But that’s only my personal opinion and my vagina.

Average is not Average

Considering that the average length of the human male penis, aroused, is ~5-6″, the word “average” shouldn’t ever be taken here as derogatory. Average is more than fine with me. After all, my g-spot is probably only about 2″ deep, and the most concentrated nerve endings are in the first couple inches of the vagina. There are positions to change up the depth of penetration during sex and also affect the snugness of the vaginal canal during penetration.

One of the things that I feel bad about with my husband’s length is that I can’t really get much of his cock in my m0uth for a blowjob. I can’t deepthroat. Guys who fit into the average range are more likely to consistently receive a “full coverage” blowjob, where someone can meet their nose with pubes, lol.

We all have our hang-ups and fears about our body parts during sex. Porn can contribute sometimes to these hang-ups, seeing as how they tend not to show men less than 7″ in porn. Guess what guys? We’re not all multi-orgasmic from penetration like the women in porn. We don’t expect you to shoot your load across the room. We don’t expect John Holmes-sized cocks to be hiding out in your pants. Porn is a caricature, often times. (this is why I prefer amateur porn)

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Posted by Lilly | 6 Comments

Boring updates post #467

I’m too lazy and tired and wrung-out to post anything of worth. It’s like my right-brain just up and left me. So you get this boring conglomeration of snippets.

I added an option to subscribe to my updates via email. It’s not different than what you’d see in the RSS feed, it’s just that I know some people don’t use a feed reader or would prefer another method. The emails go out every morning that they’re needed…..no new post, no email. The email will contain the entire post, photo and all. There’s a link in my blog sidebar up near the top. Just click, fill out your info, and be sure to look for the verification email from Feedburner to ensure you’ll receive the updates.

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I’ve decided to try Formspring again, except this time it’s in my blog sidebar over there. Please don’t be a douchecanoe with your questions, being anonymous isn’t carte blanche to ask things you’d be ashamed to attach your name to. Decent questions I’ll answer on Formspring, so check back there. Really good questions might inspire a blog post!

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In exactly one week from today, I’ll have been blogging for 2 years. To mark this occasion, I’m having a really big giveaway of 6 different really awesome prizes. It’s a surprise till then, so be sure to check back!

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Oh, I activated a feature in this really cool WordPress Plug-in that I’ve had forever but never really took full advantage of. It shows comments that I’ve gotten on posts right in the feed! It’s not instant with updating the newest comments or my replies, but it’s still pretty great.

That’s all, folks!

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