Aug 172011

As I begin to prepare for the strong possibility of doing a Sex Toy Education Workshop, hosted by a friend, I’m finding that there’s so much information I want to share and I don’t know if I can get it all in.

The first half of the Workshop will be spent talking about the various sex toy materials; their safety rating, their mating habits, their lube preference. The second half will be spent teaching them how to shop for sex toys online – which will include teaching them about reviews.

When I first started buying sex toys it was from places like Adam & Eve and MyPleasure. My husband actually found MP because I’d not been impressed with A&E’s stuff. But the problem with buying sex toys online 6 years ago was that the reviews existed solely on the sex toy retailer’s site. You didn’t know who was writing it, what they had to compare it to, what type of toys they liked or even if it was a real person. Even to this day there are a few sites that have onsite paragraph reviews that just seem iffy – too much praise for a toy that I and others found lacking. I’d say that the first $200 worth of sex toys ended up being disappointments. Sure, the expensive Rabbit was amazing until it died after not too many uses. The only toy that’s survived from my first year of sex toy buying (or rather said, pre-reviewing) was a powerful yet cheap ass “pocket rocket” vibe that had the right type of vibrations for me.

I wish I’d known not to buy jelly toys, that’s a no-brainer. I wish I’d known then about the vibe-in-disguise that is the massager types – Hitachi, Wahl, Acuvibe, etc.

So my question to all my readers, and even the seasoned reviewers, is what mistakes did you make when you bought your first toys? What do you know now that you wish you’d known then? What information could someone have given you that might have resulted in purchases that were not a colossal waste of money? Or, what types of toys/materials had you seen but been too wary to purchase and what information about them changed your mind for the better?

Aug 102011

You know how very occasionally someone will surprise you? Yeah. I had that happen recently. A friend who just got separated from a passionless marriage is suddenly behaving like a 23 year old.

Or, rather, how we SHOULD have behaved when WE were 23. Or 21. Good for her. She suddenly opened up like never before we when the talk of sex rolled around I admitted to the very first person from my old life that I have a sex blog. Did I give her the address? Fuck no, LOL. But we discussed her newfound fetishes, her sex drive, what she likes….she kept saying “You’re gonna think we’re freaks” and all I could say was “Trust me honey… have no idea how normal you probably are. I’ve either done it, thought about doing it, wanted to do it, or read about it on FetLife”. But it was nice. It really was. She’s never owned a sex toy, and now would like to explore things with her new man. I loved being able to give advice and tell her how I know all this stuff….that I review sex toys. That we could finally TALK about sex toys.

And while she thinks it’s all awesome and wonderful, what I do and what I write about, I’m still reluctant to show her the blog. And it doesn’t make me any more likely to tell other old friends; frankly she’s the most liberal of them all – at least the ones I consider “friends” enough to even talk to anymore. I can remember years ago when I still lived at home and my now-husband and I first opened up our relationship. Her and I were finally reconnecting again a little and I thought about telling her. I wanted to tell her; I wanted to tell SOMEone. But it never came out the day I was planning to tell her and honestly….that’s probably for the best.

As I look back now I can see the subtle changes in her and how that passionless marriage slowly changed her. As I recall the times prior to their marriage I can still see a little of the girl I used to know when we were best friends in high school (just more vibrant). But I can also recall a time when we reconnected shortly before their wedding and I had just discovered the world of sex toys; I remember excitedly telling her about my rabbit vibrator and the odd look and reaction I got from her – that reaction prevented me from telling anyone else or ever broaching that subject with her again. Now I know what was going on at that time and I can understand.

I have to admit something, while we’re on the subject of age and sexuality – I envy these young bloggers, the ones in college. Sure, I had some fun in college but I was still so repressed compared to now. A vibrator? That hadn’t even entered my world as a fledgling though, lol. So yes……oh how I envy these young bloggers who have already experienced and explored more of their sexuality than I had by age 30. But at least I’m getting there now, right? Better late than never?

Aug 132010

A couple more Formspring questions to answer!

Do you have a favorite ‘go-to’ fantasy while masturbating?

Usually I don’t fantasize. My mind is too much like a tv that the channel-up button on the remote is being held down, scenes/words/noises flicking by. Or I’m already reading erotica / looking at photos or videos or hot chicks (particularly hot chicks jerking off). But on the off chance my mind wanders in a singular direction, it’s usually based off this piece.

What’s your favorite part of being a sex blogger?

My favorite part? Hmmmm….. it’s the friendships I’ve made. Our community isn’t all rainbows and puppy dogs but I concentrate on the wonderful people I’ve met in real life and or those I communicate with often to keep me sane and grateful. Plus I can talk excitedly about my latest favorite sex toy with these people and not have them go all wide-eyed and “uh huh…..” and shuffle away like I have a disease.

What do you enjoy most about making to love to woman vs making love to a man?

*cringes* ok well no offense to the asker, but let’s remove the whole “making love” bit from the equation here because I don’t do that, and if I do, it’s with my husband. Everything else is hot, sweaty fucking. Can I help it if I share a deep-rooted motto with Lady Gaga? “And baby when it’s love sex if its not rough it isn’t fun.” Of course, I generally never got it rough from women like I can get it from guys but that’s just because I haven’t been with enough as many women. I appreciate the body parts and persona of whomever I’m with be it strong arms, cock, cunt, tits, etc.



e[lust] Edition #19 – Publishes on September 1st. Submissions will be accepted during August 19th-24th. The eligible post date range then will be anything published from July 28th – Aug 24th.

The Sex Blogger Co-op – I’m going to be closing down the location in the next day or so, so be sure to get the new address of the private forums and register! Just a reminder to anybody who’s a “sex blogger” and not in the Co-op….you don’t have to be a certain type of blogger, just one who blogs about adult topics/sex in any way.

ToySwap Network – TSN is staying at its location, I paid for the cheapest plan for a year. Anybody who reviews sex toys and wants to swap away their “not my favorites” toys for something bigger or better can join, just email me.

Wanton Wednesday – I haven’t been participating lately but I think that’ll be changing soon! I’m excited that we’ve got a good, firm group and some newbies joining us here and there.


Also, my hectic schedule is slowing down enough that I’ve turned my Yahoo Pingbox back on, over there in the sidebar.

Aug 122010

Remember this swimsuit?

It worked well for me back when I wore it for physical therapy.

But now I’m wearing it for my newly-joined water aerobics classes. Thankfully the class takes place in the deep end of the pool so class participants can’t see but I am sure that people walking around the pool could see, if they looked.

I keep slowly popping out. More than a few times at last night’s class I had to surreptitiously tuck my nipples back into the swimsuit.

It just ain’t cool. So this weekend I’m going to try and fix the suit. Perhaps by sewing the straps a little tighter. I can’t really think of anything else. Maybe sewing a frog in between the cups?

Jul 312010

The time is beginning to approach once more……

The annual NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar party is happening on October 1.

And despite being in the calendar, a part of me is really waffling on whether or not to go. You see, I’m a bit of an oxymoron. I don’t do well in big groups, but I also don’t do well alone. The sheer madhouseness of the party gives me the twitches a bit, and given the stellar guestlist this year it will be an even bigger draw for attendance.

But my trips to NYC aren’t just about the party itself. It’s equally about spending time with blogger friends I don’t see much, as well as trying to get in a little sightseeing, a little NYC Experience. I’ve seen some great little things here and there over my 4 past trips but there’s still a LOT I want to see and experience.


I need a guide, a buddy. It makes me nervous to just go there with no mostly-firm plans to fill up my time. And I’m just not the type of person who likes to explore and sightsee by myself. I love sharing the moment and the “Wow look at that!” with another kindred spirit.

Places I’ve seen:

~Parts of Central Park, Chinatown, Little Italy, Astor Place, LES,  Financial District. Just parts, though.
~ Rockafeller Plaza and that area
~Washington Memorial Arch

Places on my list:

~A good italian dinner in the Bronx
~The Worlds Fair globe
~Coney Island
~Battery Park
~ The Cloisters
~ Buildings. Cool, old interesting architecture. Places with history, with a story.
~ Some sort of telescope view thingie that you can see into London? Is that still there?
~Museum of Sex (Thanks UrbanRogue for reminding me!)
~Pirate ship. Elizabeth of Sex in the Public Square shot her Calendar pics there last year and I read it was a restaurant or….something? Am I remembering incorrectly?

I guess my decision to go will be based on what plans I can make ahead of time, and who I can count on hanging out with. Any volunteer tour guides? As you can see I don’t need the “tourister” tour.

Jul 062010

Very short post today, as my brain is fried and this sense of being overwhelmed just won’t quit. I’ve been reading a lot of things lately in the sex bloggosphere that make me shake my head in disgust. It’s adding to my writers block because I just don’t know what to say. Validating a ridiculous assertation or argument with a rebuttal seems pointless. So I’ll remind you all of this one point to keep in mind:

There are always two (or even three) sides to every story.  If all you’re hearing is one side, one negative side, then perhaps you should step back before you jump on bandwagons and consider how many grains of truth lie in this one side. Jealousy, pettiness, anger, hurt, etc have ways of inflating drama and making half-truths feel real to the listener of tales of woe, betrayal or dismissal and vacuum-cleaner-salesman tales of caution, injury and how your life is miserable relying on product A when what you really need is product B.

At any rate, if you listen to people who are full of hot air, you’ll just end up confused. I know I am, after reading this interview with Prince wherein he proclaims that the Internet is a has-been:

He says: “The internet’s completely over. I don’t see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won’t pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can’t get it.

“The internet’s like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good.

“They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.”

Read more:

Thank you, Prince, I see the light now. Your music is awesome but you’re a strange little bird.

Here’s some “numbers” for you, dear readers, enjoy:

One of my favorite participants, Tori Black.

And don’t forget about my Formspring box over there. I allow anonymous questions and some of them I’ll answer here on the blog.