In my never-ending quest to locate affordable toys made from body-safe materials that aren’t terrible I often end up finding a lot of crap. The following four affordable toys aren’t worthy of a full review but each one has some issues. I really only hate one of these items. The others are just okay, with some flaws in marketing (do these companies understand the vacuum capabilities of the butt??) and odd designs. Read on to hear how I feel about a Closet Collections item, a Cloud 9 Plug, a CalExotics Packer Gear item and the Sinclair Institute Onyx Wand.
Everybody and their brother claims to be creating/selling high quality glass sex toys; they may tout brand names like Pyrex or toss out the term “borosilicate” as if those words automatically mean quality anymore. When we know how shady many sex toy companies can be and how they can say whatever they want about their product without the need for truth in advertising, people naturally get skeptical regarding the true safety of glass sex toys. I’m always trying to find new ways of testing sex toys at home for quality, material, and relative safety. Since one of the few things I could do is burning to see if it’s silicone or not, I never thought I’d be able to test a glass sex toy at home until Crystal Delights talked about using a polariscope on some glass pieces which shows stress in glass. I figured out how to run the test at home, cheaply, and then proceeded to spend more than a few dollars buying various brands to test. I tested them all for glass quality and lead content – I have no way of testing for Cadmium or other harmful heavy metals, though. I have always received questions about the relative safety of inexpensive glass sex toys and I can finally give you some more in-depth answers. I suspect we won’t stop with this post; I’ve already talked to Crystal Delights years ago and I plan to present you with a more in-depth chat with the people behind Fucking Sculptures, soon.
To really see the bigger picture with my infamous Jar of Melted Sex Toys (aka Jar of Horrors) it helps to see the progression of the jar all at once. This month marks 3 years since I first decided to toss some manky sex toy bits into a glass jar and begin my Smitten-Kitten inspired experiment. Over these three years the jar has changed a lot and if you take a step back from the initial “ew, so gross” perspective it’s actually really neat and educational.
You know how I feel about JimmyJane so you’re wondering right now why on earth I’m reviewing part of the new “Live Sexy” Intro line, yes? Well it was suggested by a trusted friend that I check them out, especially because of the price point – which has always been a sticking point with me when it comes to JimmyJane. I just don’t feel that the Form line is worth their price tag. So when JJ came out with these new Intro vibrators I felt that I just had to give them a chance. At $39 for the most expensive version – a battery-powered Form 2 (which they’ve so originally called the Intro 2) – the line is affordable. But so many vibrators right at (or under) the $35 mark can have lackluster vibrations or flaws I can’t overlook. With a clean slate – past grievances momentarily forgotten – I ripped the JimmyJane Intro 4 and Intro 6 from their packages and hastily turned them on.
Arouser, “pre-hancer”, “before-play” whatever you want to call the Nuelle Fiera Arouser for Her – Don’t call it a sex toy. So far I’ve only seen some questionable (at best) magazine “reviews” and I knew that it needed some input from a professional sex toy critic because at the end of the day, it’s still a sex toy. I know that the word “toy” cheapens it and “sex toy” (according to Nuelle) means that people will expect it to deliver an orgasm, but that’s what things are called in this industry. It’s a catch-all term, it’s generic. Is it something you use to make your sex life better? Then it’s going to be called a sex toy in some way or another. A cock ring doesn’t necessarily give you an orgasm, but they’re a “sex toy”, right?
So despite my initial skepticism I started to have high hopes for the Fiera Arouser for Her. I wanted my sex life back! I wanted to WANT sex again! But I had to wonder… was I really their target audience? Since it’s not meant to make you orgasm – it’s meant to make you aroused -could it still be a beneficial tool?
Foria became known to the sex toy world when they created a THC-enhanced lube that has gotten a range of reactions; but I’m not talking about any of that today. I’m talking about Foria’s latest product which is sadly not available to most of the US – the Foria Relief vaginal suppositories. Yeah, I know, this isn’t my usual topic but it still involves Lilly being a geek, doing experiments.
Not long after Foria released Relief my Twitter timeline was buzzing with reactions and opinions – from “Cool” (mixed with damn, I wish I could have this) to some really infuriating, uneducated judgment and misconceptions. I expected better from the people I follow because they’re mostly pretty open-minded folks. No, you’re not “shoving weed up your vagina”, you’re not going to get high and yes, it’s perfectly fucking healthy. Let me assure you that using any Foria product or any topical THC item (or really any form of cannabis that isn’t burning the flower to ashes) is a whole lot healthier than drinking alcohol – which is quite easily socially accepted. It is certainly healthier than taking prescription or OTC pain relievers.