Jun 142014

6 fuckin years, you guys. And what a difference a year makes.

Last year I thought I was going to eventually quit, due to personal stuff. I had to at least back off, and sometimes wasn’t around social media for a week. I had a number of posts/reviews in drafts so that my site didn’t see large maws of downtime, but I was still fairly far-removed from my norm for a few months. Despite this, I somehow made Kinkly.com’s Sex Blogging Superhero List at #2 which is about the best I can ever hope for as long as Epiphora is around! Luckily things cleared up by November/December and I was more fully back in the game. Although I did manage to unveil my Melted Jar of Sex Toys last year, and have kept tabs on it. Lelo finally came out with the most ridiculous vibrator ever, and I finally decided to cut ties with them. Enough was enough. Things were dark for month at the beginning of the year but a few conversations with friends renewed my purpose and I realized that even though this blog is so very different from the blog I started 6 years ago, I still have a lot left to say and do. I had a long-overdue layout revamp in February. I’ve been doing more consulting. And a lot more reviewing! I finally tackled the “WOOD sex toys?!? But won’t you get SPLINTERS?!?” thing. I spent awhile digging around to create a Brief History of Sex Blogging – I’m happy with the post, although some have overlooked my reminders that it is “brief” and not “all-inclusive”.

In the last few months I’ve also been spending a lot of time at the Sextoys subreddit, as one of the mods. I’m flexing my sex toy recommendation muscles every day and finding out that yanno….I’m actually good at this. I love doing this. I’m not bad at reviewing, I think I do pretty good work in the fight against toxic toys and educating people about them. I want “this” to be real life. I want to stop viewing this as a hobby and start treating it as the job that it is. Between the sex toy testing and writing reviews, and writing educational posts guides, and helping people and being present on social media…. I’m here a lot. Putting in full time hours every week is making a difference for the quality of my site. But good intentions and lots of furious typing don’t magically turn into the income I need to stay afloat.

For those rereading this, I used to have a Patreon account. But it was a bit of a blow that I only had a handful of supporters. 6. I am grateful to those 6, but one can only stand on the corner busking for so long before they pack it in and go home. Pride did me in I suppose.

SEX TOYS. Oh, the sex toys. They’re piling up! And I’ve reviewed some doozies this year, like the Revel Body and that shitty cupcake. My love was renewed for the We-Vibe Tango, and the flames were fanned for the We-Vibe Touch. Oh and the Tantus Grab Bag was introduced! Fucking brilliant idea, Tantus. Minna managed to win me over finally; I hadn’t been super impressed with the Ola but the Limon? Nice job on the rumblies. Je Joue managed to win me over a little more, too, with the Mimi Soft which made me realize that the buttons on my original Mimi and my Uma are both defective.  I’ve started digging in to the wands again, and haven’t been super impressed overall. I finally have a few realistic Vixskin dildos to test out, which is nice. And hey, can’t forget about that Pleasure Purse, one of my favorite products that doesn’t vibrate. 

ETA: I wrote this paragraph elsewhere and fucking forgot to add it here! Jesus. Anyway. This “business”, this industry….it’s fickle. But I’ve learned that what WE all do is important. Do you know that every day, we’re changing at least one person’s mind and educating them on toxic toys? We’re all helping people make better, safer choices with their sex toys. It’s important. And it’s also important that we all keep our individuality. Keep your voice, your tone. Write what you want, how you want. The last thing this industry really needs is cookie-cutter bloggers saying the same mediocre stuff. Have opinions. Voice opinions. Don’t be afraid to be a “cyberbully in the name of public safety, ha. Changes are slowly being made for the better, and it’s because we have integrity and only back the good guys. Keep backing the good guys, ok? It matters.

Also….Some of you have talked me off the proverbial ledge in this past year. Some of you are the reason why I’m still doing this. You’ve reassured me, you’ve been a sounding board, you’ve encouraged me and I needed it. Thanks.

SO I AM STILL HERE. And I don’t think I’m goin anywhere, folks. Hope you don’t mind. Got any questions for this old lady? Curious about what’s changed, what’s stayed the same, etc? The floor is yours, ask me anything.



 Posted by at 3:43 pm

  13 Responses to “6 Years of Blogging: What I’ve Learned”

  1. I hope you can continue doing what you do. It is valuable and needed. You are one of the veterans and a blogger that many look up to. I’m really glad you didn’t decide to go away and that you’re blogging more. I don’t really have any questions to ask (for once). Just wanted to say congrats on being around this long. You must be doing something right.

  2. I just want to say how happy I am that you *are* still around. There are few that have lasted 2 years, even fewer that hit the 5 year mark… let alone 6! Congrats on sticking it out and helping to raise the bar.

    What you are doing is important work, never forget that. The world needs more people like you and more blogs like yours.

    *virtual hugs* <3

  3. Thanks <3 You mean so much to me! Thanks for keeping me sane ;)

  4. Haha, oh man. That’s special, lol.

  5. Ditto beautiful! <3

  6. You are amazing Lilly. No, you’re more than amazing. You’re so awesome that I can’t even find words to describe you. You’re like the shining star that’s up there, guiding everyone to safer and better sex lives. I don’t know what this place will be without you. How many people out there will still be shoving those jelly dicks if it weren’t for you? Thank you for saving us, thank you for bringing light to us. Most importantly, thank you for your amazing work and effort.

  7. Congratulations on 6 years of blogging! That’s an awesome accomplishment.*applauds*
    I have a question I’ve been meaning to ask for a while. I read a lot of blogs and from time to time I see someone say that sex blogging/sex toy reviewing is overcrowded. At first I thought this was just cranky muttering, but now I’m unsure and I’d like to hear what you think, what with your 6 years of experience. *grins*
    Do you think that there are too many sex toy reviewers/sex bloggers? Why or why not?

  8. I may not say much on your blog but I am always reading it. Congrats on hitting the six year mark that is awesome.

  9. Too many……no, I really don’t agree with that. Something that many don’t realize is that we’re a pretty compact niche. Last year I tried to make a go at blogging in a different, food-related field. It was so overwhelming because there were thousands upon thousands of other bloggers just like me, except that many were better. More professional. And they don’t talk to each other on social media like we do, so making friends and connections seemed so hard. Anyways, I digress. No, there’s not too many. We really need an army of people who are up on the actual facts and who educate on the important matters like toxic toys, porous toys, etc. We need truthful, uncensored reviews. We need honest reviewers, even if that means they write negative reviews sometimes because there are a lot of bad sex toys out there – bad as in “did you test this on a human”, not “it might burn your genitals off”. We need to make a change in the industry and that starts with educating consumers. Where things get murky is when you have reviewers who don’t know the facts from the myths, and continue to spread things like “silicone toys will melt if they touch” which….isn’t true. At all.

  10. Daww man. You’ll make me cry.

  11. Congrats, lady! Glad you’re still doing it, and doing it well.

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