Ask Lilly: Choosing a Male Masturbator

When guys email me for sex toy buying advice for themselves, one of the two topics is choosing a masturbator sleeve. There’s many different types out there. The infamous Fleshlight; the colorful ones that aren’t meant to resemble any part of female (or male) anatomy; and the larger ones that are molded from a porn star and are a big heavy hunk of rubber that is basically the whole pelvic region, like the naughty bits section was sliced out of a mannequin. A Japanese company, Tenga, makes a whole bunch of supposed one-time-use varieties that many men say they’ve extended into multiple uses and then their larger versions: The Fliphole and the 3D “sculptures”.

Time and again there’s only two I’ll recommend: The Fleshlight and the Tenga Fliphole. Yeah, they’re more expensive than a simple jelly rubber sleeve but you’re going to enjoy them a whole hell of a lot more. One concern I hear a lot though from men considering this is: cleaning. They don’t always want to get out of bed after jerking off and clean their masturbator – they, understandably, want to roll over and go to sleep. I get it, I do. Been there, done that. While I don’t recommend you make a habit out of it, you can let it go till morning sometimes. Just keep in mind though that lube and semen wash off much more easily when wet instead of dry.

DESIGN

Fleshlight: The sleeves and the cases are able to separate for both cleaning and to try out different sleeves with different textures and internal widths. The sleeve is open at both ends for cleaning and for suction adjustment. Fleshlight can be nondescript and the design is, obviously, meant to resemble a flashlight (but not realistically). You can get the sleeves in Beige, Pink or Clear. You can get the cases in a few different colors, too. The common is pink sleeve w black casing. The first Fleshlight I bought my husband was the all clear one, so that when I used it on him I could see what’s going on. There is a bit of a difference though in the materials, the clear sleeve is a little more sticky/tacky when not dusted in cornstarch. The colored ones feel more realistic.

Tenga Flip hole: There’s 4 different versions with the Fliphole and if you want to try all of them you have to buy all of them, they don’t have removable sleeves. However, the Fliphole opens clam-shell style to make cleaning (and drying) easier and more thorough. Fliphole looks…..geeky and techie and not like a sex toy but its cool and unique enough that if someone sees it, chances are they’ll ask what it is.

CLEANING

Fleshlight: You have to clean these after use or you will ruin them in short order from what I’ve heard from various sources. (however one of the top male toy reviewers at EF says he has put off cleaning until morning a number of times and no mold ever occurred)  Due to the material you can’t use anything other than water (yes, this means no soap), maybe some isopropyl alcohol if you really need it. Which means it can take longer since it’s a tube and you can only use water. You have to let it dry completely in a ventilated area or it could mildew. My husband wraps his up in a paper towel and then perches it upright in the case.

Tenga Fliphole: Splits in half clam-shell style and you can use water & mild soap to clean them. You can switch around the base to fashion a stand for the Fliphole so that it it can dry standing up and partially open.

HOW IT FEELS

Fleshlight: They  say that Fleshlight feels more real compared to any other masturbator. You can let the sleeve (and even the lube) sit in a sink full of warm water to bring it up to body temperature. The material is phthalate-free but it’s also porous so it can’t be shared – it’s a softer material with more “give” to it, more like flesh. Fleshlight can more easily accomodate a larger variety of cocks in term of length, girth and sensitivity levels all by changing up the sleeve. The sleeves have different orifice entrances – vaginal, mouth, anal – which offer a different visual look as well as a slight change in sensation. You can vary the suction a little bit by the screw-cap base, having it off or on or partially on.

Hubby has now tried two sleeves – the Clear Non-descript and the Pink Wonder Wave. He got the Non-descript style first, and enjoyed it. I liked being there and watching, able to see what was goin on. When we first opened up the packaging though the sleeve was a little cold; combine that with the sticky and I was mildly squicked. The sticky went away though as soon as it was wet. He liked it; but required the extra tightness of his own hand to kick over that final ledge to orgasm. The non-descript and other “original” orifices are all the same tunnel style – smooth (no texture) and the biggest width. It’s good for guys who are really girthy or really sensitive. Even though Hub is girthy, he prefers more sensation so he ended up liking the Wonder Wave better. Also we both felt that the Pink material felt a little more realistic than the Clear. I would find myself fondling it, actually…….

*ahem*

Anyways. While he didn’t think that the Fleshlight was *better* than real live vaginal or oral sex, he did find it to be a very nice alternative to his hand. Not necessarily his everyday preferred method, but he really likes it. The Non-Descript was 3/4″ tunnel and the Wonder Wave is 1/2″. There are ones that are more snug (with no texture) and ones with more intense texture. The Non-Descript is rated a 1 out of 5 on the “Intensity” scale that Fleshlight uses, whereas the Wonder Wave is a 3 out of 5. For frame of reference, Hubby is about 1.75″ diameter or so and 7.5″ in length. For men that fall into the average cock size range in length and girth, and who like a more intense sensation, Fleshlight came out with their “Sex in a Can” line.  The material of the Fleshlight is super stretchy and soft so that 1/2″ wide tunnel didn’t feel constrictive, just snug. All in all though, the Clear Non-Descript we’ll only use when I’m there; he much prefers the snugness and texture of the Wonder Wave.

Tenga Fliphole: The textures are different on each half of it, and the shapes are kinda like mirror images. For example, where one side has two little nubby balls on the left and right, the other side has one nubby ball in the center and when closed it all lines up. Where one side has two large nubby balls with an entrance slit cut in, the other side has a large convex portion. The clear material has that weird “sticky yet not” thing going on. If it’s dry and you’re dry, and you touch it it feels sticky (yet your skin retains no sticky). If you’re lubed up or it’s wet, it just feels slippery and lovely. It’s very soft and squishy. The Flip Hole has three buttons along its length to change up the suction/tightness. You can make it more snug at the head than the base, more snug at the base than the head, etc. The Flip Hole Black has a most extreme texture of them all, with the White being the most soft and Red and Silver in the middle. My husband tried out the Black version and absolutely loved it.  Tenga has this very technical explanation page that compares the attributes of the different Flip Holes.

Tenga actually makes a “hole warmer” that you would insert for a few minutes and it would bring the material up to something closer to body temperature. The only way to do this with Fleshlight is to remove the sleeve from the case and let it sink in a sinkfull of warm water for awhile.

FINAL WORDS

Lube. Lubelubelubelubelube……and more lube. Water-based lube for the Fleshlight, Tenga according to manufacturer’s directions. Try out a few different viscosities of lube to see what feels the best, and always keep your lube nearby in case you need to “refill” during use.

And also….you get what you pay for. Saving money on the cheap ones, 9 times out of 10, will just leave you disappointed.