Nobessence Fling – A Unique Wooden G-spot Dildo

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Dec 102011

Nobessence Fling, a wooden g-spot/prostate dildoThe Nobessence Fling is an ergonomic, wooden dildo that goes beyond a simple handle – it actually has a hole where two fingers rest perfectly and comfortably. Fling is actually pretty discreet, too, since it doesn’t look like a dildo thanks to that handle. I would feel pretty good about passing this off as a trigger point massager – I have fibromyalgia and other things and trigger point massage therapy works pretty well for me; My bad spots are all on my back, shoulders and neck so I can’t do it myself with just fingers and the Fling actually does a decent job of that. If I were to travel with this sex toy I would feel confident that most people aren’t going to assume that it is a dildo. Especially since it is wood and the sex toy uninitiated usually don’t think of dildos being made from wood. The box that it arrives in is like all Nobessence boxes – padded on the inside and made from sturdy pressboard in two pretty colors – and can be used for storage (the sticker on the bottom is the only thing that gives away the sexy toy status and the sticker removes easily) but isn’t good for travel.

Fling is pretty small and is definitely a g-spot (or prostate) dildo. It is not going to provide much sense of fullness but it will do the job it was made for – target the g-spot. The fat bulbous head maxes out at just over 1.5 inches (but is not the 1.75 inches listed on the site) and the insertable portion is at most 3.5 inches. This shouldn’t be an issue for most as usually the g-spot/prostate isn’t going to be any farther inside than 3 inches (anatomy varies, so “1-3 inches” is considered the generic gauge). The way that the handle is made forces your hand and fingers to cup and curve a bit and if you hold it as intended this translates into a small range of motion that concentrates on pushing the bulb up and into the g-spot. Pressure combined with a little massage is usually a sure-fire way to get your g-spot to respond. The finger-hold can work if your partner is using it on you as well; they’ll probably want to slide it palm-side down (like a bad-ass set of brass, er, wooden knuckles!).

Nobessence Fling, a wooden g-spot/prostate dildoNobessence Fling, a wooden g-spot/prostate dildo

Like any Nobessence “sculpture”, Fling is beautiful. Glossy, shiny and slick it is made non-porous and body-safe by the coating. Check out the care & cleaning for Wood section on my sex toy care guide, and feel free to use any type of lube that you love best (but you won’t need much!) Directly from the manufacturer’s site:

NobEssence’s trade secret Lubrosity™ coatings and processes stem from years of meticulous research and development and meet USP Class IV and VI Medical Standards. Sculptures attentively encapsulated in Lubrosity™ coatings are odorless, may be soaked in water, and remain in body-contact for hours at a time – no waxes to melt away, no salad bowl oils to leach out or maintain, and no toxic petroleum distillates.

I won’t mislead you – Fling isn’t cheap – but there really is no other sex toy out there quite like the Fling and the quality of any Nobessence item makes the cost easier to tolerate. Provided you don’t drop a wooden dildo on a hard surface (it probably won’t break but if it lands right it might dent or crack it a little – in which case seek a replacement) it will last a long time. There is nothing in a Nobessence wooden dildo that will react with any lube or other toy material.

The Nobessence Fling is something I’ve wanted for a long while and now that I have it I have something that will have a permanent home in my overnight bag – Fling is a perfect travel dildo. Small, discreet, easy to clean and it weighs practically nothing (5 ounces, I think?).


Fairy Wand Massager Showdown: Electric vs Rechargeable

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Aug 302011

I seem to have amassed quite the collection of these “massager style” vibrators. While originally these vibrators were mass-marketed and intended for body massage (not orgasm) the obsession with their power has caused some companies to make sex toy versions that are not found in your local drugstore like the Hitachi Magic Wand or the Acuvibe massager are. I used to be a die-hard Hitachi MW fan. But over the years of reviewing I’ve figured out that it’s less about holy-shit-power and more about the type of vibrations. A rumbly, deep vibration that will stimulate more than just the outside portion of my clitoris is ideal. And it doesn’t have to be Hitachi MW strength to achieve that.

But, on to the review. At the same time that I was testing out all the Vibratex Mystic Wands I had two of the Fairy Wands to try out. The Fairy Wand massager line is a long line from a Japanese Company called Media Craft Inc. They have come out with almost an overkill in sizes – but given what I’ve seen the Japanese do with KitKats1 and Pokemon, it seems to be capitalizing more on the “collect them all!” angle. I have the Fairy rechargeable wand massager and the full-sized plug-in Fairy wand massager. There’s also the Fairy Baby Wand (high-pitched, teeny vibe, USB-charged); the Fairy Mini Wand (plug-in, slightly larger than the Fairy Rechargeable); the Fairy Miniature Massager (either an attachable 6-AA battery pack or a more powerful a/c adapter); the Fairy Pocket Mini (rechargeable, slimmer handle than the Fairy regular rechargeable, shorter in size). Is your head spinning yet? Mine is. You’ll see them referred to in some reviews a little different. Some use the term “mini mini” for one of them, I can’t figure out which one. They’re all pretty much the same from what I’ve read; they’re all pretty powerful, most have that variance wheel for power, they’re all a version of pink and white, none of them offer any “patterns”, they all come in basic cardboard boxes with lots of Japanese text and with very chintzy drawstring pouches. The smaller ones are more “buzzy” (which buzzy + high powered can feel more numbing to your genitals and/or hand).

The plug-in style Fairy massager wand is best compared to the Hitachi Magic Wand in that both are large, both plug in to a wall outlet rather than recharging or requiring batteries, and both are very VERY powerful. Where the Hitachi has only two speeds, “wow” and “holy fuck”, the Fairy wand improved on that idea by using a dial controller instead. Think mouse-wheel. It acts like a dimmer switch, giving you many different speeds. The lower end is rumbly but yet still manages to be a bit buzzy. The lower speeds on the Fairy are definitely less than the Hitachi on low. And with the dimmer switch aspect, you can easily (almost too easily, sometimes) vary the speeds without ever turning it off. The Hitachi’s rocker switch goes “low” then “off” then “high”.

Size Comparison: Hitachi Magic Wand vs Fairy Massager Wand

At first I thought that maybe the Fairy wand was a bit more powerful than the Hitachi wand2. I probably thought that at first because it’s honestly been a long time since I’ve used the Hitachi. Side by side comparisons though show that they’re pretty dead equal when comparing their top speeds. Both also are loud, emitting that high-pitched weed-whacker like noise. So not discreet. Neither Hitachi or Fairy have the nice silicone head like the Mystic wands do, so cleaning/sanitizing/sharing isn’t easy. The Fairy wand heads are all hard plastic, with lots of ridges. Not the most pleasurable feeling on high. (also, a bitch to clean)

Size comparison of the Mystic Wand Rechargeable and the Fairy Wand Rechargeable

The Fairy rechargeable is a bit less “rumbly” than the full-size Fairy, but almost as powerful. Which makes the vibrations a bit itchy, to be honest. It’s loud as well, but lacks that high-pitched whine of the full-sized Fairy and the Hitachi MW. The Japanese companies like to have interesting rechargers, I’ve noticed. The recharger for the Fairy has a weird iPod-like plug for the massager but the plug to the wall is fun: You know how some a/c chargers have prongs that fold so that it’s less bulky when traveling? This one kind of does that except it folds out – so that the base takes up very little space in your outlet. Shown below is folded out and “normal”.


The full-size Fairy has a head that’s pretty darn similar in size and shape to the Hitachi MW, so attachments for the Hitachi could be used on it. The smaller Fairies have specially made attachments (which like to feature “nubs” – way to make an itchy vibe even MORE itchy! no thanks).

If you really like the Hitachi Magic Wand, then you will likely really like the Fairy Wand (unless you hate baby-girl-pink – their only color scheme) because it matches the power but gives more variance. For a rechargeable, the Fairy does pack more of a punch than the rechargeable Mystic wand, but in a less pleasant way for me.

SO. Super high powered is what you want? Go for the original Hitachi or the Fairy plug-in. Otherwise, I’m going to direct you back to the Mystic Wands: Superior looks and materials and a more pleasant-feeling type of vibration.



  1. No, I’m not joking, only in Japan can you find odd flavors of KitKats such as Soybean, Strawberry, Apple Vinegar and more
  2. Ok confession time: I was so anxious to try out the power that I plugged it in and pressed it to my vulva whilst clothed. Cranked it up to high. Went “HOLY SHIT!” and then realized that it um….well…it vibrated the pee out of me a little. I sure as hell didn’t get arousal-wet enough to dampen both panties and pants
Aug 062011
Size comparison of Vibratex Mini Magic Wand, Mystic Rechargeable, Mystic Wand

Mini Magic Wand, Mystic Wand Rechargeable, Original Mystic Wand

UPDATE: As of June 2014, Vibratex has officially discontinued the Rechargeable version! 


You all know that I like comparing apples to apples, vibrators to vibrators – even if sometimes it’s like comparing a Granny Smith to a Red Delicious. The reason is because that’s what *I* want to read most in a review: How it might compare in vibration intensity and type to other toys I might own. Today though I’m taking on all three of the Vibratex massager-style vibrators from their more basic, and original, battery-powered Mystic Wand to the tech-savvy Mini Magic Wand that has a handy charger.

I would only classify the Mystic Wands in the “massager style vibrator” class, with their large heads and ability to pull double duty (you just won’t find them in CVS next to the Wahl); The Mini Magic appears to be a shrunken version, looks wise, but it doesn’t have the same type of vibration that the larger Mystics do. Are any of these as powerful as the Hitachi, the plug-in Fairy Wand, or even the Wahl original (on high)? No, not quite. To be fair, the Wahl Massager just really can’t be compared to anything else because both types of vibrations (low vs high) are so unlike anything else I’ve used.

Battery-Powered Massager-Style with Power? Yes!

I have to admit to not always being “green”. I like batteries in my toys. Sure I like cords, too, but I like batteries. You know why? Because I almost always have a bunch on hand and immediately my toy is ready for action again, unlike rechargeables1. The original Mystic Wand uses batteries (4 AA) and gives an impressive level of intensity with that rumbly, deep vibration I love. I don’t find that my skin gets itchy from using it too long, like the Hitachi can. Another thing that I noticed, actually during filming for the video – that blue light isn’t just for pretty looks; when my batteries are dying, it blinks. But then, I can already tell they’re dying because I’d notice the lack of power.

Intensity from a Rechargeable Vibrator? Yes! Well…mostly

ETA: Confirmed June 2014 – Vibratex has discontinued the Rechargeable Mystic Wand. Sorry folks!

The Mystic Wand Rechargeable again delivers on that same exact rumbly, deep vibration and intensity. When you compare a 100% fully charged Mystic to an Original Mystic with fresh batteries it’s almost impossible to say that one is more intense than the other. It keeps up this level of intensity for at least one session on high, maybe two. The decline in battery power doesn’t equal a steady decline in vibration power. 2 My black Mystic flashes purple while it’s charging (via standard wall plug) and goes to steady purple when it’s done. Another really good discovery: With a lot of rechargeable vibrators that I’ve tried in the past, I notice that when you press the vibrator more firmly to your body it immediately drops a little in intensity. I noticed that with the Acuvibe and a few others. This one does not do that. Granted it might mean you have less overall battery time til recharge, but it’s a very good thing for those who like the pressure. Another thing to note: Extended use will warm up the head3, but not nearly as much as the Hitachi.

Charging ports of the Mini Magic Wand and Mystic Wand

Baby Wand = Baby Vibes? Almost

If you prefer more accurate pinpoint vibration, then you might like the Mini Magic Wand (they should have kept in line and called it the Mini Mystic, but I digress). It still has a good amount of power for a rechargeable – I’d say it’s almost as strong as the full size versions and a bit less rumbly. I can still orgasm from it, though, on full charge and high power. The neat thing about the Mini Magic is the charger that comes with it. Unfortunately, Vibratex has yet to get a handle on their English-speaking customers; the instructions for the charger are minimal at best. It plugs into a USB port and they give you a short cable that runs from that charger to the toy. It can only be charged via USB, at least with what they give you. When the Mini Magic is charging properly the light is a steady blue. Use time runs about 30-60 minutes unless you never put it on high power or apply pressure, in which case more like 90 minutes. But keep in mind not all of those 90 minutes are going to give you the same level of intensity as you had in the first say, 20 minutes.

Showing the charging device for the Mini Magic Wand with all the various ports

How They’re Alike
  • All three vibrators have the same visual style (just the mini is, obviously, a mini version).
  • Silicone and plastic: The head, neck and control pads are all made out of true silicone; the body is plastic coated with a velvety soft texture.
  • Splashproof: The don’t fully back up being waterproof but they are splashproof. This means that you can safely take it in the shower, but don’t submerge it. You can wash it under running water.
  • Flexible Neck: Like any massager-style vibrator, the neck has some flex. Unlike the Hitachi or the Ideal these necks are encased in silicone. I always used to worry about the Hitachi neck being so exposed.
  • Ridges on the head & neck: The neck obviously has to have ridges to allow movement. The head though….I will never understand this design method. I’ve seen it in many different types of vibrators. Ridges don’t add anything (to me) as far as stimulation is concerned, they just make it a lot more difficult to clean. Especially if you’re using masturbation as a means of relaxing enough to fall asleep and leave the cleaning till morning. Either way, I have to use my fingernail to go around the ridges (You could also use an old toothbrush).
  • 3 levels of intensity and 3 patterns: The patterns are oddly not identical from model to model, most of them are not annoying. Foreplay, but not orgasm (for me).
  • Clear plastic “boxes” not ideal for storage: These are the flexible-ish type of plastic, and they don’t stay shut very well.
  • Storage bags: They’re not fancy, but they do the job. Simple drawstring closure, vinyl lining (think windbreaker jacket material), and a “velvet” flock that hangs onto pet fur and dust.
  • Silicone that isn’t a magnet for pet fur and lint!: The silicone on these is different from the type used in mold/poured dildos and vibrators; it has a soft feel, matte finish and won’t attract fur
  • Lube: Only water-based lube, please!
  • Good size/weight: Even the full size Mystics are not really very heavy. Easier to hold/lighter than the Hitachi or full-size Acuvibe. Full size are about 8″ overall length, Mini is about 6″ in length.

Size comparison of massager vibrators

Noise Levels

The Mini Magic is the loudest of all, but it’s not the vibration that’s loud – it has this odd rattling sound to all levels of vibration making it quite noisy. I checked and found that others hear the same rattling so it’s not a defective product.

Mystic Wand Original and Mystic Wand Rechargeable are the same in noise level of vibration – a lot less noisy than the Hitachi, not as quiet as the Wahl, but discreet enough under covers or behind closed door. Oddly though the Mystic Rechargeable has noisy buttons – the buttons on the other two are virtually silent, but the Rechargeable one has an audible click that is much more noticeable than the vibrations. I don’t like it.

Comparing & Contrasting, Pros & Cons

Both the Mystics have two buttons: The power button that turns it on to “low” setting, the second cycles through the settings. They both also have two lights: a slightly bigger, steady light that just tells you it is powered on, and then a smaller light that corresponds with the power level and pattern setting. Yellow, Orange, and then Red equally highest power. The power button means you can quickly turn it off.

The Mini Magic has only one button to do everything, which means you either have to cycle past the patterns, or press and hold for 2 seconds to turn it off. Only one small light which never changes color or flashes with the pattern. The charging port though which is silicone (and only a teeny hole) glows blue to let you know that the charging is working – although the control panel light stays on, too, steady all the time.

The heads are all too small to use any Hitachi-compatible accessory. However, there is one head attachment for the full-sized versions.

Discretion: The original Mystic wins for discretion – it only beats the Mystic Rechargeable because of those stupid clacky clicky loud buttons. While the Mini Magic is more portable, it is fairly noisy.

Colors: Original Mystic has a black or hot pink body and a white head. Rechargeable Mystic comes in either mostly-black or mostly-hot-pink; the only white portions are the neck and control pad. Unless you really have to have pink, though, I’d choose black on the Mystic. The Mini Magic comes in pink, dark blue or black – the pink plastic body can get stained. I stored it touching a black leather item, and there are now permanent black smudge marks. Since it didn’t happen to the part that touches my body, it’s not a huge issue but it makes it look dirty.

Showing stains on Mini Magic Wand body from being stored touch a leather item

Traveling with the Rechargeables: For those who own a Lelo toy, we’re spoiled. They can be locked for travel so that they won’t turn on – Vibratex didn’t add that feature.

The Mini Magic comes with a unique charger: You can use it to charge other things. It has a mini-usb port and micro-usb that works with many cell phones, an iProduct style port, a 2.5 and 3.5 DC male end and 2 other odd looking ports that are not for any US-based item I’ve come across. However, you can’t charge more than one thing at a time, so don’t go thinking you can charge up both the Wand and your cell at the same time from it. The downside to this unique charger is that there is no A/C wall adapter.

Who won?

The Original Mystic Wand. Overall the least noisy and it retains the highest of high power for longer than the rechargeables. I prefer the vibration type and intensity over the Mini Magic Wand, although sometimes I do like the smaller head of the Mini Magic better. Original Mystic needs 4 AA batteries. For travel you can take out 1 of the batteries (to prevent it from turning on) and even put a spare set into the pouch. I couldn’t get the charger for Mystic Rechargeable into the included storage bag, so that and the noisy buttons are irksome. All in all though – if travel and the need for a quiet vibrator (and buttons!) aren’t high-ranking for you, I would still recommend the other two. They both have their good qualities and provide non-buzzy non-itchy vibrations.



  1. Because I’m not organized, I don’t clean up after myself immediately and so I don’t remember to go plug the rechargeable back in after use
  2. It went down, up, down, thought it was dying, then back up and repeat. Turned it off, back on and then the power level was noticeably lower. At this point I feel the purple light should have been flashing but it didn’t.
  3. I only noticed this because I left it sitting at my desk buzzing away to test things
May 122011

First, an aside. I’ve been feeling lately that I’m not being a very “good” reviewer in that I’m not producing happy, sparkly reviews. Expensive, cheap, and everything in between I’m honest to a fault, perhaps. But I don’t review just to receive toys, I review so that others may know something about a sex toy before purchasing. So I can’t gloss over things, I won’t bullshit and I won’t be Glinda the Good Witch.

So you know what’s coming, right?


A bad review.

But this time I don’t feel it’s my fault (and I use the term “fault” loosely). You see, SSA Glass is the manufacturer of this dildo and other glass sex toys that EdenFantasys carries. And SSA’s first run of this dildo looked like this:

What I received is….the work of a drunken apprentice. And lest we chalk it up to a one-off, I’ve read at least 2 other reviews which state the exact same thing. The design has changed drastically, the quality changed drastically and it’s downright UGLY. In the original run of the Ocean Breeze dildo, those pretty little raised dots accented in red look like little jewels. The base is symmetrical and the dildo has a nice curve with some somewhat-realistic veins and head-shaping.

This is what mine looks like:

Razor burn.



In short: UGLY. And one of the primary reasons that people purchase glass dildos is because they are PRETTY. I truly can’t even stand to look at this thing so it doesn’t ever get used – even if the shaft had been up to par. Which it wasn’t. They changed the curve so that if you hold it like it should be held, the curve points away from your g-spot. Mine isn’t thick enough to make up for the curve issue with girth. The texture is irrelevant. Oh and those raised dots of red? Not all are raised dots. Some are just flat splatters of red glass, um, paint? I can’t tell what the red spots actually are. Colored dots of glass? There’s no rhyme or reason or pattern to them, the symmetry is gone. It just looks like a freak accident.

The packaging is nil, but as I understand it, that’s the case with all SSA Glass dildos. It’s up to the discretion of EF to include any sort of pouch – other reviewers stated getting one, I did not. Mine was simply wrapped up in packing paper. That’s truly it. Nothing else to tell me anything about the company or the dildo. Luckily all care information is on the site, or you can refer to the care & cleaning of glass dildos section of my site.  All of the standard tropes of glass toys apply here: Good for temperature play, you can use any kind of lube that you like, it’s body-safe, non-porous, etc etc yadda yadda.

But it’s so ugly, such poor quality, that I’d be dead embarrassed if anybody saw it in my collection.

I’ve talked with other glass dildo owners and others who’ve owned other SSA Glass dildos have had no problems as far as workmanship and it looking like the photo on the site. But you get what you pay for – SSA dildos are less expensive, which is why there’s no packaging. No frills of any sort, not even necessary frills like a padded pouch.

For a better g-spot glass sex toy in the same price range I’d recommend trying out the Bent Graduate instead. If you want the “pretty” aspect, go for the Color Tip Wand. Despite not hearing anything else bad about other SSA Glass dildos, I’m still reluctant to recommend trusting them as a brand. The change to the Ocean Breeze was recent, sometime in the last 4 months, and if other people got a dildo with the affliction of uglyitis as me then there’s something going on with the company on a production level.

Feb 262011

DocJohnsonBlackMagicBulletThis is possibly the easiest sex toy review I’ll ever write.


Because I’ve basically already reviewed this toy before. Not one to step too far out on a limb, Doc Johnson changed the coating and gave it a new name. Voila, another product for their massive category!

Despite the differences in the size as listed in the descriptive reviews for each of these two bullets, both the bullet and the handpack are exactly the same size and shape. If I had to find a difference, the cord on the Doc Johnson Black Magic Bullet is 1/2″ shorter. Otherwise, they are both plastic bullets with 4 settings and they light up the same. The Harmony Bullet is shiny, slippery plastic while the Black Magic Bullet is “velvet cote” plastic. They both take 2 AAA batteries and the bullet motors are almost identical.


But you know what, I cannot tell you that it’s definitely a difference between the two over all. Perhaps just between my two. If you gave me two Harmony bullets I might notice the same difference. The Black Magic Bullet, when it’s just buzzing away untethered in the palm of your hand, sounds a bit louder. When the bullet is grasped for use, however, they both seem the same. Not near-silent but under your comforter it’s pretty quiet.

There’s one major difference: The price. For some reason the Black Magic Bullet, as of this writing, is a full $6 cheaper than the Harmony Bullet.

When I first reviewed the Harmony bullet I didn’t feel that it was the most powerful bullet I’d owned. While both of these do nail it perfectly on the vibration pitch for me (lower, rumbly) I think I was too quick to judge. There has been only one other bullet that was more powerful AND cheaper, but it hasn’t been in stock for a long time and I don’t think it ever will be again (the Vital Bullet). Both of these Doc Johnson bullets have something that the cheaper “silver bullet” handpacks don’t – 4 discernible vibration intensity levels. And because of the rumbly pitch of the vibrations I have actually been able to orgasm on the 2nd setting (and once on the first!!) when I was extremely aroused and had had it tucked against my clit for awhile watching porn or reading porn or something.

If I were forced to choose just one to recommend I’d pick the Black Magic, and not only because it’s cheaper. I quite like the velvet-cote that’s on both the bullet and handpack. It seems to look cleaner after use for some reason and I personally just think that the black velvety look is more visually appealing. Either way you go, though, I truly do highly recommend either the Doc Johnson Black Magic or the Harmony (but make sure to get the Harmony in black).


The Fine Print:

  • Not to be used anally
  • If you use it vaginally, please put the bullet in a condom for easier retrieval to extend the life of the cord
  • Follow cleaning instructions for plastic
Jan 152011

Long ago and in a land far away I wanted a Cone vibrator. Eventually I read enough reviews that told me to avoid it. Sadly there were not enough reviews out when I asked for the Cleo that would have told me to stay away. In fact, nearly all of the people on EdenFantasys who’ve reviewed it already claim that it’s a lot of things that I claim it is not.

Brass Tacks – What does it feel like? The number one thing that other people claim it is (to which I say “Are we using the same toy?!?”1) is Powerful. While I can agree that to some women  this might be considered “powerful” it isn’t to me and I have enough to compare it to to say that with confidence. Here’s the thing – a deep, rumbley sort of vibration can feel like it’s more powerful than it is. That’s why I tend to enjoy them so much. That sort of vibration stimulates beyond the surface.  But then to those women who find the Cleo powerful the Wahl, the Harmony Bullet, or any electric massager will be considered “whoa nelly you’ll burn off my clit” powerful. This isn’t to say I’m right and you’re wrong or vice versa. But I cannot ever give this toy an intensity rating of anything higher than 3 out of 5. Maaaaybe a 3.5 out of 5 but EF’s rating system tragically doesn’t allow for half-star choices2. And I’ve even tried 2 different sets of batteries to be sure one wasn’t half-dead. How sad is it that I have toys that pack a far greater punch on half the battery power?? My Harmony bullet is the same deep vibrations and runs on 2 AAA’s and knocks the pants off the Cleo in terms of power. Sometimes even *I* have to back down off the top level of vibrations on the Harmony.

Ono Cleo vs Lelo Mona – I know, their shapes are nothing alike, nor are their intended uses. But it was the best vibe I could find that had the same type of rumbly vibrations. I would say that High on the Cleo is like setting 5/6 out of 8/9 on the Mona (I had trouble determining exactly how many levels there were on the Mona). I always expect a battery-powered vibe to be more intense than a rechargeable. That’s usually been my experience. Not this time!

The Cleo’s big draw is the unique shape which is great for those who like to rub/grind their clit against a vibe. The other big draw is that it’s meant to be used in the shower/tub because it comes with a big-ass dual-sided suction cup. Ah, the suction cup. I hate it.

  1. It stinks, and fairly noticeably at that
  2. Unlike the SinFive suction cup dildos, the suction cup base does not firmly affix to the toy via screwing in. It’s a suction cup on both sides. It suctions to the toy AND to the wall, leaving two points of possible instability.
  3. Suction cups are picky fuckers – they require a completely 100% flat and smooth surface. Too much moisture, too little moisture, it slides around or falls off. Do you know how cringe-worthy it is to have your solo tub session come to a clattering LOUD halt when your sex toy falls off the wall?!?

You can most assuredly use this without the suction cup feature. Unfortunately….this requires big hands if you need to hold it. As you can see below, I had trouble holding the base with my small hands. Sure, I could set it down on my bed/pillow/other surface and grind away but the base is slippery smooth, hard plastic. And the base unscrews very quickly – there are no threads, just a quick quarter-twist. (this also makes me highly question the waterproof-ness, since there’s no rubber o-ring)

What is up with that shape? It’s an interesting shape – in fact it kinda reminds me of a pommel horse (ex-gymnasts cheer! a vibrating pommel horse!). A design that, again, I thought would get me off. And it might have if the vibrations were a bit more intense or a bit more concentrated. They are concentrated to a degree in the larger protrusion but it’s not enough for me personally. I’m also not sure what the point is to the dual humps. For me this grinding/rubbing action is only good for the clit, not my vulva or labia (but others might love that) and it’s certainly not capable of penetration. I just don’t get it.

I’m supposed to reach around where now?? The controls are just two buttons discretely hidden in the silicone, plus and minus. They seem to be located in a really bad spot for changing the setting during use – they are located underneath the smaller of the two humps….and most of the vibration is in the larger hump. This means I would have to reach under or back around me to change it during use. So I had to choose the setting (high, straight vibrations for yours truly) and then put the toy in place. Since I hate patterns and found the lower levels of vibration boring, this ended up working out for me but won’t for those who like to change up their sensations during use. The buttons themselves require a bit of effort to push (certainly not as easy as Lelo buttons) and glow faintly when pressed. There’s a number of different vibration intensity settings and then eight different pattern settings.Really? 8? Overkill but if you like patterns you’ll be sure to find one here you can enjoy.

The packaging is also sub-par for a toy of this price. It comes in a colorful + black flimsy glossy cardboard box with a window. There is nothing “premium” about the packaging and so don’t expect to use it for storage. There’s no storage bag or anything for it. For the cost of this toy I’d expect at least an upgrade on the packaging.

Bottom line: I’m having a really tough time recommending this. Since it’s primarily marketed as a shower toy, the base is difficult to use without the suction cup action. But it also doesn’t quite work too well in the shower. For the flaws, the lack of oomph, the pitiful packaging and finally the high price tag – I’d say to avoid it unless you can catch it on a really good sale and don’t require direct / intense vibrations. If rubbing with moderate vibrations is your thing, you might like this. But, really Ono? A price tag of over $70?? No. Other than the fact that the colored, main portion is velvety silicone I can find absolutely nothing about this toy to justify this price. If it were priced more like the Pleasure Tops (which sadly isn’t silicone) then I could recommend it as a novelty addition. Sure, it comes in pretty colors and looks different and cool. Does that make up for everything else? No.


  1. When I read the first paragraph of the descriptive review I really wonder if I got the same toy, they kiss up to it like it’s going to win them money!
  2. this right here is a travesty because many times I’ve wanted to give a halfsie rating