Aug 122010

Remember this swimsuit?

It worked well for me back when I wore it for physical therapy.

But now I’m wearing it for my newly-joined water aerobics classes. Thankfully the class takes place in the deep end of the pool so class participants can’t see but I am sure that people walking around the pool could see, if they looked.

I keep slowly popping out. More than a few times at last night’s class I had to surreptitiously tuck my nipples back into the swimsuit.

It just ain’t cool. So this weekend I’m going to try and fix the suit. Perhaps by sewing the straps a little tighter. I can’t really think of anything else. Maybe sewing a frog in between the cups?

Aug 042010

On my trip back at the end of April (yes, it’s taken me this long to write about it!!) to see Coy Pink , one of our days was spent in Seattle – sightseeing, lunch with Scarlet, and my first trip to a Real Sex Toy Store. It was a seriously fun day. The Pike Place Market? Wow. It literally hurt my heart to keep walking by all this gorgeous produce and SEAFOOD and not be able to buy it and cook it up. I did, however, buy some fancy Moscato grapes  – a type used to make a sweet white wine – that just blew away any boring seedless grape I can get in my state.

As a teenager I was dared to enter the crusty, filthy local “adult” store boasting videos and Live Girls and comfortable viewing booths. I recall the famed Horse Dildo up on the wall, and the rest I’ve blocked out. On my last visit to NYC, BadBadGirl and I ducked into a jam-packed store. They had a large selection, particularly of costumes and lingerie, as well as toys but all were in boxes or behind glass. I didn’t feel uncomfortable in there, but it didn’t impress me much.

So, Babeland. It was interesting – kinda small, smaller than I expected it to be but then they don’t have a huge inventory even online. Of course, they also don’t carry shitty toys and jelly items galore. I take quality over quantity any day – plus the ability to handle the toys and turn them on??? Priceless. For someone who does all of their sex toy shopping online, this was a very cool experience. And educational, for me.

JimmyJane Toys

Man, talk about overall disappointment with a brand. The Form 2 was underwhelming in power once any pressure was applied to the vibrating “tongs”. The Form 6 didn’t seem to have anything over the Lelo Elise. The slimline metal vibrators that they make in various  types of metals didn’t do much for me. The Iconic Collection of bland, white toys was as boring as their lack of color. JimmyJane is touted as a luxury brand but to be frank I saw no just cause for their luxe prices.

Delight and Curve

The Fun Factory Delight and Curve have been on my list of consideration for review for years now. I didn’t get to test out the vibrations of the Delight but both toys were smaller overall (size, girth, length) than I expected. I’m probably a little less interested in them now.

Tenga Flip Masturbation Sleeve

I have to admit, if I were a man I’d probably pick the Tenga Flip over a Fleshlight just because it looks so darn cool. And yes, we all stuck our fingers in the male masturbators.

Mystic Wand

Another one of the many “massager” style vibrators, this one is about the size of an Acuvibe Mini and has the trademark vibration style of deep, rumbly and powerful. Quite nice, actually.

Better Than Chocolate

In person, it looks cheaply made. The vibrations felt fairly weak and buzzy, as well. We got it turned on but we couldn’t really get that “intuitive slider bar” to work and change speeds. Glad I’ve passed on it to review before!

Lelo Mona, Nea, Ina

While the new Ina and Mona felt a little more powerful than Lelo’s first run of vibes, I’m still undecided on them. Mostly with Ina my concern is it fitting my anatomy. Any rabbit-style vibe though carries that question. I’d never reviewed the little Nea or Lily because of concerns that the vibration type would be the same as Mia (surface and buzzy) but man are they cute, little and pretty! Especially the Nea. It made me a little sad when I saw that their reincarnation of the minis, the Siri (the pink that Babeland carries is like the old style, but EdenFantasys carries a bright purple and red like the Mona), carries the color style of the Ina and Mona – half white, half bright ass solid. The Nea always appealed to me aesthetically.

The Crybaby, Remote Panty Vibe, Bnaughty Unleashed

Ugh. Just… Granted, I have no idea if Babeland keeps their batteries fresh in these toys but they all felt very “meh” to me. Certainly not worth the cost and would provide a tease, not an orgasm. Since my visit there, Babeland no longer carries the Bnaughty wireless vibe, but they had it in that store. Perhaps they realized it wasn’t very good? Let’s hope. Sadly, wireless remote bullet vibes have to come a lonnnng way  yet before they’re ever worth their pricetag.


I didn’t think it was possible, but this toy looked and felt even more disturbing in person than it does in photos. It’s mechanically noisy and just… no. No no and no.


Due to the concept and geekiness of the toy it’s something I’ve wanted to try for a long time. But holding it, feeling it, I now really know that it would be the right toy for me. It’s pretty tame, as far as sensation delivered and vibration. Neat, but not for me.

Go Girl vs P Style

The Pstyle is a lot harder than I expected. It’s rigid plastic and can’t bend, so I have to wonder how portable it really would be for a FTM to carry around inconspicuously. The Go Girl was nice, pliant silicone but I’ve read some reviews that indicate it’s a little harder to use and not have a mess / aim with this one.

There were so many other toys there that I can’t remember their name or what exactly I thought of them. It was a little overwhelming! I hate that all the things I remembered seem to be so negative but I know what I personally like and I was hunting down the toys I’ve been wondering about for some time now. In October when I’m in NY I hope to be able to get in a visit to another store, either Babeland or maybe the Pleasure Chest which is where one of my fellow calendar models works, Brandon B.

Feb 172010

(This post first appeared over at

First let me explain my take on the “typical” brain of feminine vs masculine. I do realize that just by saying that I’ve already ruffled some feathers. The saying “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” DOE S have its valid points.

I’m equally a logical and emotional person. It’s hell, lemme tell ya. I need to totally *understand* something, I need to know why. Why, why, why. I’m like a 2 year old. I cannot just do something “because”. If I at least know why I’m doing it and what comes next then I’m much better able to do my part. But I also act and react very emotionally, I’m very much an empath. Anyways, back to the logic. I have fibromyalgia which is a very misunderstood disease (but they do know that brain chemicals are either affected or a partial cause and I believe that the main chemicals affected are serotonin and dopamine) and I have a dopamine deficiency. ADD, ADHD, whatever label you want to put on it. When you run down the symptoms, I’m a textbook case. But I have other oddities that make me hard to diagnose. So in the course of trying to figure out what is wrong with me, I’ve done a lot of research. Learning what others like me are like. Forming my own theories that may or may not be a grand revelation to the science community at large.

Even if you don’t have a “mental disorder”, I believe that everyone’s brain hormones/chemicals are not all at perfectly balanced middle-of-the-road levels. Everyone has a skew, and that forms your personality. It’s when the skew is too severe that one is then diagnosed with depression, anxiety, bi-polar, ADD, etc. So my outlook is kinda like…..a horoscope. I am most compatible with other people that have a similar chemical skew/imbalance. If their dopamine is lower, I’ll get along with them. ( I hope this explanation makes sense to you all, lol).

They already know that biological men and women use their brains differently. But that’s what they can see and measure. What they haven’t been able to measure yet are the levels of the brain hormones. So I’m not saying here that my thoughts on the chemical differences pertain to *biological* male/female roles, obviously, but the self-identifying masculine/feminine roles. The typical feminine brain skews a little lower on serotonin. The typical masculine brain skews a little lower on dopamine. Disclaimer: I’m not saying that this is fact, I am saying that in all my logical thoughts, this has to be true. One big reasoning is that many of my little ADD-quirks/issues/problems….to some degree are all complaints that wives generally have about their husbands. Like I’m more likely to forget birthdays and anniversaries. I lose track of time. That whole domestic drive to  clean the house and run errands when you’d really rather sit on yer butt? Yeah I don’t have that and you’ll find me sitting on my ass till there’s no clean undies and we’re outta milk. When a female asks me if I notice anything different, I’m going to be staring blankly at her just like most men would.

I hope I didn’t lose you – this topic of brain chemistry and why I, without fail, get along the best with people with similar chemistry levels as my own is all seriously fascinating to me. Even if the knowledge doesn’t do me any good with treatment I still like understanding it all as best as possible.

Anyways. Contradictions, contrasts, puzzle pieces.

I’m the girl in full makeup who’s fixing your computer and babbling in geek-speak.

I’m the girl wearing perfume who’s hanging with the guys, playing MMORPG games and being just as competitive as them.

I’m the girl in the group of people who will admonish the man with a “Don’t be such a pig!” to his pervy comment all the while silently agreeing and staring at that chicks ass right along with him.

I’m the girl in sexy clothes and kitten heels who would be happily tagging along to a car show, admiring the details and work on big, loud muscle car or a sleek, expensive sports car.

In my mind I objectify women as I ogle them but I don’t let on outloud, for that’s not proper. I know it’s not right but it happens anyway. I’m terrible at being domestic even when it has to be done. I didn’t inherit the gene that makes my mind think “We’re having company! I better dust!” like my mother and her mother before her. I drive too fast, I swear too much and I don’t remember your birth date. I could spend just as much money at Sephora as I could at I am competitive beyond compare and fuck you if you beat me.

And when I read about other bisexual or bi-curious women talking about how softly they would kiss a woman, how the sex would be sensual and spiritual and *cue sound of abrupt record-scratching to signify a halt* – I think “why??” I want to kiss and be kissed like I would kiss a man. Kissing men, kissing women, it’s not a different activity for me it’s kissing a person and I like it passionate. Not feathery kitten kisses. I want to have hot, sweaty, kinda-rough passionate sex with a woman just as I would with a man.

But yet I want to be swept off of my feet in romance. I want the grand gestures. I want the Dom type of guy sometimes, to a degree. I have my days of wanting to be pampered and beautiful and wanted and loved. You don’t have to hold the door for me unless my hands are full, but I’d appreciate it if you compliment how I look, even though I may blush and dip my head.

I am a contradiction in flesh and blood and sometimes I just don’t know which way to go.

Jan 102010

What is it about wet skin (or wet clothes even) that is so universally sexy and sensual?

Not just water wet but oil wet or lube wet or ohhhh soapy wet!


Why do you think wet is so sexy?

Dec 192009

I’m a sucker for funky design and so when I saw the Climax Twist rechargeable massager in “New Arrivals” list, I knew I wanted to review it. The 90 degree angle is really what got me moreso than the rechargeable factor. In fact, the rechargeable factor was nearly a deterrent simply because I don’t often get a rechargeable sex toy that packs the power or type of vibration that I like.

I’ve read a few other reviews of this vibrator that seemed a bit over-the-top when describing the power and noise level and the girth of the G-spot end. Such dramatic description is only meant for the Hitachi, in my opinion. The Climax Twist vibrator is actually considerably more quiet than the Hitachi on low and *nearly* as powerful but not as deep of a vibration as the Hitachi on low. The Climax Twist is not equivalent to the Hitachi in power. But how does it compare to the Acuvibe? The Acuvibe on high is more powerful, deep and noisy than the Climax Twist, but the Climax beats out the Acuvibe on low. There’s one caveat to the Acuvibe, at least the one I own, that when you apply a decent amount of pressure to it it visibly slows down in power. The Climax Twist doesn’t do that.

climax twist vs hitachi 2 climax twist vs hitachi 1

One thing that I like about this rechargeable vibrator is that it is more of a low-pitch deep-resonating vibration than many others I have tried. So many rechargeable vibrators, to me, are more of a high-pitch buzzy (which doesn’t get me off).

CLARIFICATION: The above power/noise/etc comparisons are being made against the “massager” portion of this vibrator. I’m not yet talking about the G-spot end, because that’s another story altogether.

Another thing that I really liked about the Climax, as I mentioned before, is the ability for it to be either straight or at a 90 degree angle. This twist makes it much easier to transport and store unlike the Ideal massager, who’s quirky handle takes up more space. If your partner uses the G-spot tip on you, then you can keep this vibrator straight. If you are using the massager on yourself, the 90 degree angle is ideal. For using the G-spot end on yourself though, I’m not loving the 90 angle as much as I thought I would but that’s partially due to the placement of the controls. They’re not in a good spot if you want to change up the vibration pattern. Close-up photos farther down there show the buttons and the odd (and useless) light purple ribbing. One reason that I don’t like using the G-spot tip as it’s intended is because of that ribbing – there’s no way you’ll use it internally without those ribbings getting filled with lube/bodily fluids/etc. That seems like it would be REALLY hard to clean properly.

climax twist 2

Now, on to the G-spot portion of this toy. The girth is good. If you prefer slim insertables, then this isn’t the toy for you. However, I did not find this to be as filling as my big blue toy. The specs claim that it is only 1 5/8 inch wide on the EF site, but Topco’s site claims it is 2.25″ at it’s widest. I’m not sure I believe either number, to be honest. But I don’t have a ruler handy. You can see it below in comparison to my big blue dildo, which is supposed to be 2″ wide. Because of the angle of penetration, the manner and angle in which G-spot tips are meant to be used, I doubt that you would find this toy as intense as my 2″ wide dildo. But that’s my opinion.

climax twist vs big blue dildo

As for the vibrations of the G-spot end – meh. I can’t pinpoint where the motor actually is, but the vibration is a pitch higher than the massager end and more diffuse. It’s a little louder, too. I wasn’t thrilled with the vibrations for that end, to be honest. I would say that if your clit is still in the stages of arousal where you’re more sensitive, start off with the G-spot end.

climax twist 1 climax twist 3

The box claims you can turn both motors on at once for more power or something, but that happened was akin to your washing machine getting off balance – the motor in the G-spot end seemed to go a bit wonky they didn’t resonate at the exact same rate nor did either motor make either end more powerful. And it’s certainly not like this toy is large enough or designed to be used by two vaginas simultaneously.

A few more points to tick off that don’t need further explanation:

  • There is no battery light, you don’t know for sure it’s charging other than the fact that it won’t turn on.
  • The charge seems to last longer at full power than Acuvibe, before it starts waning
  • The massager head is very small, so you cannot use any Hitachi or similar attachments
  • Topco says that the materials are pthalates-free, but yet it’s rubber. On EF’s safety scale, it’s only a 3. Not for sharing unless it’s be-condomed.
  • Despite it being rubber, there was very little offensive odor to it, what was there faded very quickly
  • There is only one speed to this vibrator, but 7 “functions” (which includes straight vibration). Typical “multi-function” variety of patterns/pulses/etc. I don’t need to explain them.
  • It’s not waterproof, likely because they can’t seal off the twist joint. But then again, the other massager-style vibes aren’t either.

At the end of the day, would I recommend this toy? If you can get it on sale, then yes, most definitely yes. Currently it’s priced higher than the Acuvibe and of course higher than the Hitachi BUT it does have those unique features and options. However I still think it’s just a wee bit too high given the manufacturer and the material. If it were silicone, that might justify it. It’s priced like a luxury toy, but it’s not.

Nov 152009

There are so many curves that I love, many of them pertaining to the female form. But this particular curve catches my eye sometimes, as it did this particular night.

It’s the curve where the top of a woman’s breast flattens to collarbone, the curve that gets pronounced when she is wearing a bra with amazing support. Certain bras will give us this support from the bottom up, and if no bra strap or clothing is able to meld into that dramatically pronounced sudden curve, it becomes this deliciously perverted little spot.

Something like this:


With this kind of support our breasts are elevated – held aloft against gravity – as if resting on a shelf. When we walk the tops of our breasts move and jiggle and draw in the eye.

She was wearing either an amazing bra or a corset under her dress. I couldn’t tell. The wide-neck and low cut dress was sexy without going over the top but her tits with that jiggle and that space and that uplift made it almost obscene. I stared in awe and appreciation, lust and arousal. I equally wanted to touch as much as I just wanted to ask what she was wearing underneath in the female-camaraderie way of “Wow your tits look fabulous, where did you get the bra?”

I did neither, in the end.

I just stared.

And there’s really nothing you can do about this spot other than stare. It’s like fine art in that way – gallery-worthy. Touching doesn’t enhance. Licking doesn’t transform. All you can do is gaze and hope that you can successfully walk the line between an appreciative stare and a lecherous ogle.

Go see who else is talking about, dreaming about, fantasizing about curves:




Salt and Pepper:


Amy Liz:

Mr B:



Panser Bjørne:


Ms. Scarlett:

Lolita Vida:

FG Sakes:


Library Vixen:

Barefoot Dreamer: