Dec 282011
 

L'amourose MAE+ on the left, Marc Dorcel Secret Remote Control Vibe up top, and the We-Vibe 4 Plus on the right

SPECIAL NOTE: While this post was originally written in 2011, it has been heavily updated over the years. So if you’re here in 2016, rest assured that everything here is still relevant. When a new remote-controlled toy comes out and I have had the opportunity to review it / feel it and can talk about it here, I do so. The recommendations here are not out-dated.

Remote control vibrators have an appeal that is special and can be something really awesome & kinky for certain folks (public sex toy play is very fun). I get a ton of people asking for recommendations on a really good model; you’ll see plenty of cheapies and definitely plenty that cost well over $100 so how are you to know which is worth the time and money? Hopefully I can help steer you on the right path and save you money and disappointment. Let me assure you, there’s more disappointment in this niche of sex toys than anything else. WHY is it so damn hard for a company to come out with a really awesome remote control vibrator? Honestly I’ve yet to come across one that meets the Remote Controlled Vibrator Holy Trinity.

First, you have to determine where you want most of the vibration (vaginal/g-spot, clitoral, or anal) and then determine if you actually want to be able to orgasm in public or you’re just looking for a tease. Just looking for a tease? You’re in luck because that’s about all many of these are capable of unless you’re very sensitive and find it easy to orgasm. So to me, a really good remote controlled sex toy has these three features nailed down – aka the Remote Controlled Vibrator Holy Trinity:

1. A remote that allows the remote-holder to know what the toy-wearer is feeling – they need to know when it’s on, when it’s off, what level of vibration it’s on, etc.

2. A remote that works from across the room, or 20 feet away while the person is in any position and wearing clothes – I’ve had a few that work fine if I’m spread-eagle and naked but since many people want this for public play…..that doesn’t work.

3. A design that fits and vibrations that feel good – why the fuck is this so hard? Who is designing these? Klingons?

What the Hell is Happening Here

Let’s talk about the first one. A common complaint with many wireless remote controlled vibrators is that the remote control holder doesn’t have a damn clue what’s going on. They push a button and that’s it. Lelo, as you all know, set out to majorly change that and give the person holding the remote a much more active role in the process with their Sensemotion technology. The Club Vibe 2.OH from OhMiBod has a remote that kinda fixes that…except that it lights up, the remote is huge and it’s not at all discreet. The Club Vibe (both original and 2.Oh) is buzzy and weak, it looks uncomfortable and the 2.Oh has a button you must push on the vibrator to start it up and it lights up, too. I hope you don’t wear this in public with clothing that would show the lit up button through it! The Marc Dorcel Secret Vibe (the secret being that achingly boring vibrations) has been the only vibe I’ve come across in the under-$100 category that had a decent remote – small, unobtrusive, didn’t light up or vibrate but it had an LCD panel that told me what was going on.

One last problem – most of these don’t tell the controller if the connection to the vibrator has been lost.

Many of these wireless remote controlled vibrators take batteries – weird batteries, lots of batteries and go through them at a rapid pace, so that’s another thing to keep in mine.

Bluetooth and Smartphone Apps

Newer versions are starting to use Bluetooth and can be controlled with an app which is really great in theory but so far isn’t working out. I couldn’t get the We-Vibe 4 Plus to reliably keep the Bluetooth connection, and I’m not alone in this problem.  I haven’t tried the blueMotion Nex 1 but the design requires panties (like the Club Vibe 2.OH design) and also won’t work for people with full labia and buried clits. Looking at the Google Play Store, both apps for We-Vibe and Ohmibod only rate about a 3.5 out of 5, with a lot of complaints that things just aren’t working the way they should. Another line of vibes with a Smartphone app is the new Je Joue Nuo and Duo – but the app is currently only available for the iPhone. WTF! In an age where plenty of people are using something other than an iPhone (like me!) this is a pretty dumb move. I won’t even review these until they make an app for Android.

A Remote That Works

So far, the Lelo Sensemotion line has the only remote I’ve experienced that kept a connection through flesh, clothing and across a room. It even worked from another room for me. I liked the Tiani design best; I don’t feel confident that the Tiani 3 has better vibrations than the Tiani 2, plus that boxy clitoral part may or may not be better. It is available in Canada and perhaps for less given the dollar conversion.

Just because a vibe has an app, doesn’t mean it’ll work – see also: We-Vibe 4 Plus review. I couldn’t even insert the We-Vibe the way it was meant to be inserted; as soon as I did it would drop the connection. Many other remote control vibrators are the same way, and the remote only works if I’m naked and legs-spread. Fail. The updated We-Vibe Sync isn’t much better for connectivity.

But What About the Vibrations!

So what if the Lelo Lyla 2 has a remote that lets the remote-holder know what’s going on and works through clothing, flesh and even a wall? If you’re looking for anything beyond a tease or you need more power, then you’re not going to love the Lyla 2. But if the tease factor is it? Go for it. The style is meant to be worn vaginally but that would be a total waste on me – so a snug pair of panties will keep it in place clitorally for most people well enough.

The We-Vibe 4 Plus’s vibrations were utterly boring to me, but sensitive folks might be more excited.  The vibrations from the L’amourose line are pretty powerful, but the designs work best for people who don’t need pinpoint stimulation and whose clitoris is more exposed.  The Marc Dorcel Secret Vibe was atrocious, so so piddly.

Remote Control Vibrators to avoid:
  • Anything by Bnaughty – the vibrations are piss poor and the remote is crap on the cheaper one, and doesn’t work through clothing on the pricier one.
  • Anything by CalExotics –  Whether it’s a gimmicky panty vibe or horrible butterfly, Dr Berman branded or their overpriced Embrace line, the quality is bottom of the barrel. Do not waste your money.  The vibrations are going to be surface-buzzy and weak, the unit will break easily and the remote will not work as advertised.
  • Anything from Pipedream and their Fetish Fantasy line, for the same reasons as I list for avoiding CalExotics.
  • I’ve heard more negative reviews than positive about the gimmicky Lelo Hula Beads and of course, avoid that damn Lelo Ida
  • Due to my own experiences and those of readers, I can’t recommend the We-Vibe 4 Plus – issues with connectivity and the vibrations? Yawn.
  • As mentioned above, the Marc Dorcel Secret Vibe or the anal version, Genius Secret Vibe – too weak and buzzy
  • Anything under $50. So far, not a damn one under $50 has been worth 5 cents.
  • Jopen Envy 15 – I had high hopes, but the vibration placement is stupid, the vibrating portion glows red and the remote is fucking dumb. BUT the motor is super powerful. It’s the most powerful of those listed. My reasons for hating it are complicated and some might be body-related and wouldn’t bother you as much. I recommend reading the review if you’re looking for something under $100.
Remote Control Vibrators to consider:
  • Lelo Lyla 2 – the vibrations aren’t super-powered but it’s the one in the line that might work for you. I would find a way to use it externally with a pair of snug panties, personally. Quiet, and the remote (which vibrates normally) can be turned to stealth mode. 
  • Consider the Lelo Tiani 2 or 3. Again, it’s not powerful in vibrations, but they’re a little better than the We-Vibe, plus I liked the fit of the Tiani 2 better than the We-vibe. Quiet, and the remote (which vibrates normally) can be turned to stealth mode.
  • L’amourose’s line is decent, preferably the Mae or Lana – the bullet is very powerful and the remote is a little weird to use at first, plus it’s big. Also, the remote-holder doesn’t fully know what remote-wearer is feeling. If it had a functioning smartphone app, it would be pretty great. Apparently this wasn’t selling well and the first run remotes didn’t work at all, so most stores have discontinued it.
  • Je Joue Nuo or Dua – I’ve heard good things about the vibrations. The pen style remote is wonky, but for iPhone users the app seems to work pretty well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Black plastic bullet with control pack with velvety texture. Plastic vibrator kit that includes: a traditional vibrator, a pocket rocket, a bullet and controller and a 1 oz. water-based lubricant. Harmony Powerful waterproof bullet with two speeds

 

Apr 292011
 

I write this post on my last day of the job I was working when I started this blog. It wouldn’t feel right to not blog today while at work.

Well. Kind of. 2 years ago we were “restructured” and so while I still worked for the same branch and in the same block of buildings, my job duties and the building I worked in changed. And with that change back then also coincided the beginning of changes in what I’d be able to get away with at work. There was a time with a certain man when it was commonplace for me to be masturbating at my desk while chatting away with him or someone else, taking photos to be shared with him, someone else, and/or the blog. Usually all three.

So while I will walk away today from this building and these particular coworkers knowing that it’s not the place I sat the day I first penned this blog, it’s still “the place I started this blog” at. And through fate, and the butterfly effect, it is roundabout because of this blog that I am leaving this job today and this state in a week. This fact alone is utterly mind-boggling to me: that because of connections of connections I made through this blog my life is changing in a hundred ways. I never imagined that anything connected to this blog would have such a huge impact on me but this is the final straw of being proved wrong, and not the first time I’ve been proved wrong on that subject. While this blog is not over, this chapter of my life is and I have changed.

Yesterday I felt compelled to do two things “for old time’s sake”; the things that were once the staple and theme of this blog. I snapped some risky risque shots (to be shown in upcoming WantonWednesday posts), inspired to recreate the first office photo taken. I then pulled out my trusty silver bullet vibrator and orgasmed at my desk, again, one last time. I didn’t do it for the reasons of old…..sadly. I had no chat companion saying dirty things to me, no erotica fiction tumbling forth from my fingertips. And it was with sadness that I realized I had no one to show the photos to, either. Yes, you all….. But back when I was taking these regularly it was always for someone else. A request, a demand, a dare. And this time I had nobody to giggle and send the snaps to. It was a very melancholy realization. The nature and backbone of this blog has changed….for better or for worse, I don’t know. My social-sexual life is nothing like it was that first summer of blogging or the first year even. Will it ever be again? I don’t know.

I’ve always been the sentimental sort. To a fault. I didn’t much like high school; I wasn’t popular, I hated the school itself and the throng of other students pressing around you at all times, I hated the classwork and etc. But yet I still had connections. I still “grew up” there. Had friends. On the last day of high school I cried. I took photos. I looked around at every period of the day with purposeful eyes, trying to memorize everything. I knew that life was changing and even though I was leaving behind a chapter that wasn’t always good to me it still held a treasured place in my life. That’s kind of how I’m viewing this last day. Did I start the blog *because* I worked here? Because of my dire boredom back then? Quite possibly, yes. I started it not long after I found a way around the very restrictive internet policy (I used a remote login site called Logmein.com, and just did everything via my home computer. In later times I would up the security to accessing Logmein from Portable Firefox loaded up on a usb memory key). I browsed OkCupid and made acquaintances that led to me creating this blog. To finding the world of sex-blogging in general. While this city and what we thought we’d get out of the move to here ultimately let us down, I think I’m realizing that it was a necessary step. We were meant to be here at this time. It doesn’t make it suck less, I can’t stop viewing it as somewhat of a stall to our lives (because the progressions and gains that were “supposed” to happen, didn’t)…..but it brought us to this day. To next week. To the next big chapter.

So yes, while I won’t miss much of anything concrete here – (not the buildings, or the way things are run, or the job I did, or most of the people around me, or the office itself, or the commute, or the downtown city, or for that matter our apartment) save for one or two people and the simple convenience of many stores being in a close driving distance – I am a little sentimental about this day. To be certain though I am happy for it’s arrival. I am happy at the prospect of my future after our move, happy to move on from this place and this state and the ideals here.

But I won’t forget what this place did to me, for me, brought me. I have no ties, though, no true friends and no family in this city. The few friends I made here will shortly fade away I’m sure…..and so there you have it.

It’s time to go.

 

Other than a WW post next week, expect this place to remain fairly quiet yet until we move and get a little settled in. I think both hubs and I have kinda been unconsciously waiting on me to be done with work for the full-throttle srs bzns packing to begin (which doesn’t leave us much time to do it, but then I think we both perform best under pressure).

May 122009
 

Back in the old office, I was taking risks. Masturbating at my desk, even while I felt 95% safe doing so, was still a risk. Someone could by chance hear the vibrator, or take note of my flushed skin and lack of focus on work – or worse yet, as I got more daring towards the end, walk around behind my desk as I was on the floor. Perhaps my feeling safe was just being cocky.

I had assumed that, given the layout of the new office, I would not at all be able to continue my ways, especially playing with Q online. The inability to easily carry on a mostly-uninterrupted conversation is gone now; my movements have to be controlled and my poker face has to be in top game. And, given that I need pressure on my clit in order to come…..well, how could I do that at my desk here??

Last week he and I finally succumbed to it all and for the first time in many weeks, he had his (virtual) way with me. Twice.

I realized that even though there are more people, and closer, the office is noisier. The bullet vibe sound was masked perfectly. (as an aside, I am now using another bullet, more similar to my beloved original Silver Bullet)

And….before, the restroom was small….4 stalls. Any sound of the vibrator was frighteningly loud in there. But here, the restrooms are much bigger and I was able to find a way to quietly use the bullet vibe while in a stall. There were a few moments of loudness, as the internal vibrating bit went off balance and hit upon some hard internal surface, but I was able to orgasm. I waited until I thought everyone had left, for the first round, and was successful.

Of course, you know what that foreshadowing means.

I wasn’t so successful the second time.

The second time took me longer, there were more people in there, etc etc. As I felt myself nearing, I was not caring if someone was still in there. I did try to wait, and I thought I had heard the door close, with no other sounds of occupation.

In the words of the great Ron White….

I was wrong.

As my climax subsided and I moved the bullet away from my clit, I had this feeling I should have turned it off first before moving it, and I was right. A few short loud bursts in the silence of the bathroom and I wondered “What if I was wrong about it being empty?” Oh well, too late, deep breath. I wiped away the excess wetness from my cunt (for my panties already had a large soaked patch in them, I didn’t need it to be worse)  and snapped a few requested photos for him, I exited the stall, headed to the sinks and….there was a closed stall door a few down from me.

SHIT.

Whoever it was had to have heard me at some point. I had also been in that stall for quite some time, relatively speaking.

I kept my back to the stall doors, washed my hands in a hurry and quickly but controlled I left the restroom and made a beeline for my desk. I don’t know who it was – in the current office there are over 300 people on my floor, chances are it wasn’t anyone who knows me.

But still.

I was embarrassed and yet thrilled, scared and yet even more aroused.

Playtime is now a lot more dangerous, that is for sure. But neither he nor I care, really.

Apr 222009
 

In a nutshell……it sucks. Hardcore.

What sucks, you ask? Let me give you a brief (ish) rundown:

My supervisor:

I had not worked in the same office as her before, so I never had to deal with her full time. I can’t stand her.  She’s a giggler, at everything and at inappropriate times. Laughing at people’s inability to perform a job function that is new to them, AS she’s making a shitty attempt to explain it again. She’s really not being a very good supervisor.

My cubicle:

Oh hell. Now you all know I was “on display” before, being at a receptionist type desk with the 4 foot wall in front of me, open to everybody that walked by. Now, the walls are 5 feet to my front and my back, and about 6 feet to my left where the overhead cabinet is. To my right is the separating aisle and then a mirror of my cube, where sits my supervisor. To the front is a wall that allows people to peer at me and down the row, which I’m finding annoying. It’s a main through-way-aisle, and being on the corner of aisles I get a lot of loiterers, busybodies and other disrupters.

I moved my computer from the standard of being in the corner of the U, to looking out at that main aisle that’s now in front of me. I did this to attempt to angle my monitor so that what’s up on the screen is just a bit less fucking visible – otherwise totally visible to everyone that walks up the aisle coming towards my desk from the back. It helped a little bit, but as soon as you get to the back wall of my cube you can see my monitor and what’s on it.

My solutions? Well the monitor can only be resolved by buying one of those privacy filters, but they are just NOT affordable right now. I also need to purchase some new clothes for a slightly less casual dress code. anyways. I bought some plants, they just need to grow so I can create my jungle foliage fence. I have one here today, bringing the other two tomorrow. I just set this one in this old fashioned wooden double inbox thing so that it was a little higher….but it looks like a potted plant sitting in an inbox, lol. I need some ideas though to make that look nicer.

noname-71

(there will be another, slightly smaller, potted plant joining this one in the inbox tomorrow)

My worktime shenanigans:

As for naughtiness and online time and all that…..I’ve temporarily snagged an aspect of the new job that requires me to be at my own desk. Otherwise, if I’m in the imaging room, I’m at another computer and cannot be online. I can access a Yahoo chat application through my phone, so I’m not totally disconnected but, enough.

I’m still able to access m remote log in sites so that I can do what I did before….all browsing and chatting is happening on the home computer.But, since the monitor is visible when people are passing my desk….the window is shrunken, its crappy quality and B&W, I can’t use Twitter, I can’t really visit blogs…it sucks.

For some reason my preferred remote site, gotomypc.com, isn’t working here and there’s no reason that I can see why not. Logmein.com works. Anybody familiar with gotomypc should shoot me an email.

I don’t talk to my friends as much. I still am concerned about the relationship with Q deteriorating severly, slowly. We’ll see.

Apr 142009
 

I’m approaching my final 3 days in the office. Therefore, I’m taking request for naughty office pics that I could potentially snap.

Or….other suggestions, if you can think of anything.

Now, I’m not saying I’ll be able to do every request/suggestion, but I’ll certainly try! Click on the tags associated with this post to see past escapades. Today is Tuesday….Friday is my last day, but that day will also be kinda hectic here, I assume. I know moving people are going to arrive late afternoon that day. So if you have any requests……hurry up!!


I’ll be honest with you guys, I’m really feeling nervous as to what my new office life will be like come Monday morning. Not just with regards to my online time and my naughtiness, but everything.

Nov 292008
 
Well folks I am not going to be getting the promotion, I will not be moving to the other office. Due to the current hiring freeze and the merging of all similar offices in 6 months, HR put the kibotz on that higher position being filled since it was vacated by my now-supervisor. So no extra money. No change in scenery.
I worry about the merger because I can’t say for sure that I’ll get to keep my internet access privileges. I’ll have to find another route, something I can afford, when the time comes. I have quite a few “friendships” that are online only, and only during the workday. Some are casual and a select few are very meaningful to me. If I weren’t able to chat during the workday I think I would lose those people. And for SURE I would be bored to death. I’ve grown terribly accustomed to this “way of life” in the past 6 months.
I am to the point where, no matter what, when I find out I’ll be in that downstairs office all alone for awhile I make it a point to take advantage of the fact. So determined that despite my 3 regular guys being AWOL (One left work early for T-day preparations, S has been in hiding lately and I’m not sure he’s coming back out, and the new guy who’s delighting in bringing out my Toppy side apparently had an impromptu office meeting), I pulled out my bullet anyways and thanks to a few of my Twitter guys, I got off quite nicely. I also took things a little farther than before. The bombardment of arousal from numerous angles left me with a need for penetration. I looked around, I thought….my eyes alighted on the half-empty Coke Zero bottle. 30 seconds later I decided to lock the glass door as it was the day before Thanksgiving, everyone was leaving early and I had plausible deniability if anyone tried to get in (damn door, I can never figure out that weird lock!). After a few brief moments of dropped pants and Coke Bottle attempts, I realized that someone could glance in and see my bare ass. So I moved in to my supervisor’s office…heh heh. Her lights off but the office lights meant that I was still barely visible should anyone look in her huge windows. The moment I inserted (some, couldn’t handle most of it) the bottle, and applied the bullet again to my clit, my orgasm began. I think this means that I need a slightly bigger case for my bag so that I can bring my wooden dildo with me along with the bullet.
Shame to waste nearly half a bottle of coke, but I wasn’t in the mood for a creamy Coke ;) The bottle was a bit of a mess, especially under that ridge for the cap.
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How To Make Lilly Blush:  A little like when S first floored me when he pointedly said in the comments of one of his posts that I was the cause of his recent highly-aroused state and subsequent amazing release, someone else caught me quite off-guard today by including me (me?) in his “hit it” list of sexy blogger ladies. I am the one of the four that he has met in person (at the party) and still I’m on that list.
Sometimes flattery will get you far ;)
If I were to make a list of blogger men on my own similar list…..well, I couldn’t narrow it down to just four, lol, but I think he might find he has a spot on my list, as well.
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You all rock, you know that? I got amazing support and “you tell him sister!” comments on my post about the Craigslist douchebag. It took him a few days, presumably took that long to write this all out and think it up, but he responded. I knew he would. Again, I present this to you in all its unedited glory:
well im glad u didnt respond to me cause i can see ur a very kind woman too..and yes i am a very nice man i just know how to find out who the nice women are and who is the jerks on here too so yes i am learning how this thing works on here thank you very much..and maybe some people have responded to u ok thats fine big whoop..lol..but it just seemed to me like you were being picky and im only sayin that cause you said in ur ad about looking for good lookin guys well i can see that but if u want that you should be able to give them somethin nice too right..im not trying to be mean and didnt mean any offense and i am sorry..i was just stating a point..maybe i took ur ad the wrong way then
He can have his last words, I really cannot bear to drag out this conversation, risk hearing more drivel from him again. Nor do I give a shit. He doesn’t register on my radar anymore. But it does jade me against Pennsylvania men, in general. He’s not uncommon here I’m afraid.

Also, my CL ad was flagged and deleted, oddly enough, the day I posted about this guy. I doubt the timing is related. But still…..

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I’ve got more toy reviews for the future than I know what to do with….but I have to say, I feel bad for the other dildos. Really. Unless it’s a suction-cup dildo or an oversized one, it’s not going to have a place in my bag. I have found my Holy Grail and there is no besting it. Just not gonna happen. So from now on I’m not going to review any more dildos that are not suction-cup or oversized. I received a very pretty Glass one to review and I feel bad that I can’t really love it, because Mr. Pure has stolen my heart. He’s ruined me for all others.

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I have become afraid of speaking too soon regarding men, but I really do have to just mention this – there is someone new who is really dragging out the “toppy” side of me and I’m liking it more and more. He inspired this post, and if things go well, you’ll be reading more about the situation.
Also, to any of the women who read my blog who have experience topping…please email me. I need to pick a few brains about a couple of topics.