Dec 282011

L'amourose MAE+ on the left, Marc Dorcel Secret Remote Control Vibe up top, and the We-Vibe 4 Plus on the rightRemote control vibrators have an appeal that is special and can be something really awesome & kinky for certain folks (public sex toy play is very fun). I get a ton of people asking for recommendations on a really good model; you’ll see plenty of cheapies and definitely plenty that cost well over $100 so how are you to know which is worth the time and money? Hopefully I can help steer you on the right path and save you money and disappointment. Let me assure you, there’s more disappointment in this niche of sex toys than anything else. WHY is it so damn hard for a company to come out with a really awesome remote control vibrator? Honestly I’ve yet to come across one that meets the Remote Controlled Vibrator Holy Trinity.

First, you have to determine where you want most of the vibration (vaginal/g-spot, clitoral, or anal) and then determine if you actually want to be able to orgasm in public or you’re just looking for a tease. Just looking for a tease? You’re in luck because that’s about all many of these are capable of unless you’re very sensitive and find it easy to orgasm. So to me, a really good remote controlled sex toy has these three features nailed down – aka the Remote Controlled Vibrator Holy Trinity:

1. A remote that allows the remote-holder to know what the toy-wearer is feeling – they need to know when it’s on, when it’s off, what level of vibration it’s on, etc.

2. A remote that works from across the room, or 20 feet away while the person is in any position and wearing clothes – I’ve had a few that work fine if I’m spread-eagle and naked but since many people want this for public play…..that doesn’t work.

3. A design that fits and vibrations that feel good – why the fuck is this so hard? Who is designing these? Klingons?

What the Hell is Happening Here

Let’s talk about the first one. A common complaint with many wireless remote controlled vibrators is that the remote control holder doesn’t have a damn clue what’s going on. They push a button and that’s it. Lelo, as you all know, set out to majorly change that and give the person holding the remote a much more active role in the process with their Sensemotion technology. The Club Vibe 2.OH from OhMiBod has a remote that kinda fixes that…except that it lights up, the remote is huge and it’s not at all discreet. The Club Vibe (both original and 2.Oh) is buzzy and weak, it looks uncomfortable and the 2.Oh has a button you must push on the vibrator to start it up and it lights up, too. I hope you don’t wear this in public with clothing that would show the lit up button through it! The Marc Dorcel Secret Vibe (the secret being that achingly boring vibrations) has been the only vibe I’ve come across in the under-$100 category that had a decent remote – small, unobtrusive, didn’t light up or vibrate but it had an LCD panel that told me what was going on.

One last problem – most of these don’t tell the controller if the connection to the vibrator has been lost.

Many of these wireless remote controlled vibrators take batteries – weird batteries, lots of batteries and go through them at a rapid pace, so that’s another thing to keep in mine.

Bluetooth and Smartphone Apps

Newer versions are starting to use Bluetooth and can be controlled with an app which is really great in theory but so far isn’t working out. I couldn’t get the We-Vibe 4 Plus to reliably keep the Bluetooth connection, and I’m not alone in this problem.  I haven’t tried the blueMotion Nex 1 but the design requires panties (like the Club Vibe 2.OH design) and also won’t work for people with full labia and buried clits. Looking at the Google Play Store, both apps for We-Vibe and Ohmibod only rate about a 3.5 out of 5, with a lot of complaints that things just aren’t working the way they should. Another line of vibes with a Smartphone app is the new Je Joue Nuo and Duo – but the app is currently only available for the iPhone. WTF! In an age where plenty of people are using something other than an iPhone (like me!) this is a pretty dumb move. I won’t even review these until they make an app for Android.

A Remote That Works

So far, the Lelo Sensemotion line has the only remote I’ve experienced that kept a connection through flesh, clothing and across a room. It even worked from another room for me. I liked the Tiani design best; I don’t feel confident that the Tiani 3 has better vibrations than the Tiani 2, plus that boxy clitoral part may or may not be better. It is available in Canada and perhaps for less given the dollar conversion.

Just because a vibe has an app, doesn’t mean it’ll work – see also: We-Vibe 4 Plus review. I couldn’t even insert the We-Vibe the way it was meant to be inserted; as soon as I did it would drop the connection. Many other remote control vibrators are the same way, and the remote only works if I’m naked and legs-spread. Fail.

But What About the Vibrations!

So what if the Lelo Lyla 2 has a remote that lets the remote-holder know what’s going on and works through clothing, flesh and even a wall? If you’re looking for anything beyond a tease or you need more power, then you’re not going to love the Lyla 2. But if the tease factor is it? Go for it. The style is meant to be worn vaginally but that would be a total waste on me – so a snug pair of panties will keep it in place clitorally for most people well enough.

The We-Vibe 4 Plus’s vibrations were utterly boring to me, but sensitive folks might be more excited.  The vibrations from the L’amourose line are pretty powerful, but the designs work best for people who don’t need pinpoint stimulation and whose clitoris is more exposed.  The Marc Dorcel Secret Vibe was atrocious, so so piddly.

Remote Control Vibrators to avoid:
  • Anything by Bnaughty – the vibrations are piss poor and the remote is crap on the cheaper one, and doesn’t work through clothing on the pricier one.
  • Anything by CalExotics –  Whether it’s a gimmicky panty vibe or horrible butterfly, Dr Berman branded or their overpriced Embrace line, the quality is bottom of the barrel. Do not waste your money.  The vibrations are going to be surface-buzzy and weak, the unit will break easily and the remote will not work as advertised.
  • Anything from Pipedream and their Fetish Fantasy line, for the same reasons as I list for avoiding CalExotics.
  • I’ve heard more negative reviews than positive about the gimmicky Lelo Hula Beads and of course, avoid that damn Lelo Ida
  • Due to my own experiences and those of readers, I can’t recommend the We-Vibe 4 Plus.
  • As mentioned above, the Marc Dorcel Secret Vibe or the anal version, Genius Secret Vibe.
  • Anything under $50. So far, not a damn one under $50 has been worth 5 cents.
  • Jopen Envy 15 – I had high hopes, but the vibration placement is stupid, the vibrating portion glows red and the remote is fucking dumb. Horrible, really. BUT the motor is super powerful. It’s the most powerful of those listed.
Remote Control Vibrators to consider:
  • Lelo Lyla 2 – the vibrations aren’t super-powered but it’s the one in the line that might work for you. I would find a way to use it externally with a pair of snug panties, personally.
  • Consider the Lelo Tiani 2 or 3. Again, it’s not powerful in vibrations, but they’re a little better than the We-Vibe, plus I liked the fit of the Tiani 2 better than the We-vibe.
  • L’amourose’s line is decent, preferably the Mae or Lana – the bullet is very powerful but you can’t use the remote to turn it on. You’d have to turn it on first and walk into wherever you’re going with it already buzzing away. This isn’t ideal for most situations. If it had a functioning smartphone app, it would be pretty great.
  • Je Joue Nuo or Dua – I’ve heard good things about the vibrations. The pen style remote is wonky, but for iPhone users the app seems to work pretty well.






Black plastic bullet with control pack with velvety texture. Plastic vibrator kit that includes: a traditional vibrator, a pocket rocket, a bullet and controller and a 1 oz. water-based lubricant. Harmony Powerful waterproof bullet with two speeds


Apr 292011

I write this post on my last day of the job I was working when I started this blog. It wouldn’t feel right to not blog today while at work.

Well. Kind of. 2 years ago we were “restructured” and so while I still worked for the same branch and in the same block of buildings, my job duties and the building I worked in changed. And with that change back then also coincided the beginning of changes in what I’d be able to get away with at work. There was a time with a certain man when it was commonplace for me to be masturbating at my desk while chatting away with him or someone else, taking photos to be shared with him, someone else, and/or the blog. Usually all three.

So while I will walk away today from this building and these particular coworkers knowing that it’s not the place I sat the day I first penned this blog, it’s still “the place I started this blog” at. And through fate, and the butterfly effect, it is roundabout because of this blog that I am leaving this job today and this state in a week. This fact alone is utterly mind-boggling to me: that because of connections of connections I made through this blog my life is changing in a hundred ways. I never imagined that anything connected to this blog would have such a huge impact on me but this is the final straw of being proved wrong, and not the first time I’ve been proved wrong on that subject. While this blog is not over, this chapter of my life is and I have changed.

Yesterday I felt compelled to do two things “for old time’s sake”; the things that were once the staple and theme of this blog. I snapped some risky risque shots (to be shown in upcoming WantonWednesday posts), inspired to recreate the first office photo taken. I then pulled out my trusty silver bullet vibrator and orgasmed at my desk, again, one last time. I didn’t do it for the reasons of old…..sadly. I had no chat companion saying dirty things to me, no erotica fiction tumbling forth from my fingertips. And it was with sadness that I realized I had no one to show the photos to, either. Yes, you all….. But back when I was taking these regularly it was always for someone else. A request, a demand, a dare. And this time I had nobody to giggle and send the snaps to. It was a very melancholy realization. The nature and backbone of this blog has changed….for better or for worse, I don’t know. My social-sexual life is nothing like it was that first summer of blogging or the first year even. Will it ever be again? I don’t know.

I’ve always been the sentimental sort. To a fault. I didn’t much like high school; I wasn’t popular, I hated the school itself and the throng of other students pressing around you at all times, I hated the classwork and etc. But yet I still had connections. I still “grew up” there. Had friends. On the last day of high school I cried. I took photos. I looked around at every period of the day with purposeful eyes, trying to memorize everything. I knew that life was changing and even though I was leaving behind a chapter that wasn’t always good to me it still held a treasured place in my life. That’s kind of how I’m viewing this last day. Did I start the blog *because* I worked here? Because of my dire boredom back then? Quite possibly, yes. I started it not long after I found a way around the very restrictive internet policy (I used a remote login site called, and just did everything via my home computer. In later times I would up the security to accessing Logmein from Portable Firefox loaded up on a usb memory key). I browsed OkCupid and made acquaintances that led to me creating this blog. To finding the world of sex-blogging in general. While this city and what we thought we’d get out of the move to here ultimately let us down, I think I’m realizing that it was a necessary step. We were meant to be here at this time. It doesn’t make it suck less, I can’t stop viewing it as somewhat of a stall to our lives (because the progressions and gains that were “supposed” to happen, didn’t)…..but it brought us to this day. To next week. To the next big chapter.

So yes, while I won’t miss much of anything concrete here – (not the buildings, or the way things are run, or the job I did, or most of the people around me, or the office itself, or the commute, or the downtown city, or for that matter our apartment) save for one or two people and the simple convenience of many stores being in a close driving distance – I am a little sentimental about this day. To be certain though I am happy for it’s arrival. I am happy at the prospect of my future after our move, happy to move on from this place and this state and the ideals here.

But I won’t forget what this place did to me, for me, brought me. I have no ties, though, no true friends and no family in this city. The few friends I made here will shortly fade away I’m sure…..and so there you have it.

It’s time to go.


Other than a WW post next week, expect this place to remain fairly quiet yet until we move and get a little settled in. I think both hubs and I have kinda been unconsciously waiting on me to be done with work for the full-throttle srs bzns packing to begin (which doesn’t leave us much time to do it, but then I think we both perform best under pressure).

Dec 082009

Despite working on the top floor, the stairs in the building keep going up – to the roof, I guess. While that would be a pretty fucking awesome place to sneak off too in the middle of the workday for kissing and groping….we’re just not that daring, yet.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t use the stairs. We figured that if anyone should somehow happen upon us or hear us, we’d have about 4 seconds to break apart and pretend we were just sitting there talking.


Sitting there, just talking.

YOU would believe me, wouldn’t you??

I didn’t think so.

One day last week or so, after an amazing amount of tortuous teasing, we surreptitiously snuck into the stairwell at afternoon break time. He went up first, I followed a minute later.  We were taking a huge risk and taking things up a notch. To this point we had not touched anymore more so than his fingers brushing my nipple for a moment. We didn’t say to each other what we were meeting in the stairwell for; I’m not sure either of us really knew until the moment things happened. We smiled at each other as we stood there in close proximity, listening to the door open on our floor and a few people head downstairs. We didn’t speak; we just kept looking at each other and looking down the stairs to make sure no one had noticed us.

As their voices faded, he grinned again and moved his hand to my breast with his thumb lightly caressing my hardening nipple. My lips parted and I drew in a quick breath but I didn’t break eye contact with him. Then he moved his hand up a little to the neckline of my low-cut shirt and slipped his hand underneath my shirt and my bra – bare hand on bare nipple. He already knew I liked it rough so he didn’t hesitate to pinch. A small gasp and a small smile from me encouraged more. The next pinch was harder, and he held on longer. My eyelids shut for a moment and my head fell back; I lost my balance just slightly, just enough for him to steady me at the waist with his other arm. This move pressed our bodies together from the pubic bone downwards and I could feel his cock, hard against my stomach.

Instinctively my hand sought it out and lightly caressed the length of it through his pants. Our lips were barely touching, we were too busy trying not to drown from the touches to actually kiss at first. But then we were. And then our hands and lips worked in a frenzied, passionate tandem; He tugged hard on my nipple while I grasped his cock as best as I could and stroked. I broke the kiss with a near-silent “ow ow ow” because my nipple had reached the pain threshold. Yet still I let out a tiny whimper when his hand left my breast. Then suddenly he pulled down my top and exposed the same nipple he had been roughing up. His head dipped down and I braced for more pain, but instead he traced it with his tongue. The light pressure and warm, wet tongue was an overload of senses after what he had done to me.

I put my hand at the back of his head and pushed him, crushed up, up against my breast so that he would suck or bite or something more. Anything. As he took the cue and began sucking, we heard a door open and the voices of people in the stairwell. He stopped for a split second as we listened, hearts racing, but then I whispered “More, just a minute more please” and he continued on. That was so incredibly hot to have this guy sucking my bared nipple in the stairwell with people two flights down. When we heard another door open and close and the voices went away, I made him stop.

I straightened myself out and he did the same, in silence, until I said “Holy fuck that was…….wow. I absolutely must go jerk off in the women’s room now. Right now.” We exited the stairwell and both headed for the restrooms. The way he grinned at me before he went inside let me know that he had the same mission as me.

Nov 222009

It started simply. It started quickly. We transitioned from the occasional flirty glance to daily teasing and talking all because of one moment of my carelessness, one moment of his prying eyes. I was standing in the elevator lobby tapping away on my cellphone, adding the photo I had taken in my car moments before to a text message to someone, and I didn’t know that D was behind me. We rode the elevator up to the top floor together and about halfway up all other occupants got out.

“So did he like it?”

I just stared at him, heart racing, hoping he didn’t mean what I thought he meant. The grin on his cute, boyish face confirmed against my hopes.


I knew I was blushing and all I could say was “He hasn’t replied yet”. The teasing, kinda-cocky glint in his eye brought my own smile out. We said no more, just proceeded to our respective sections to find our cubicles.

In the days that followed a tentative email and a knowing grin while passing by multiplied into more. We found brief moments throughout the workday to surreptitiously tease and flirt via email. Coded words, double entendres,  secret communications. A heavily-veiled but obvious-to-us message coupled by an innocent-to-others meeting at the printer 5 seconds after for a few words to be quietly uttered that were most definitely not safe for work.It took a lot of self control for us both to keep straight faces and limit the number of “coincidental” encounters and keep our fun under the radar of nosy nearby co-workers.

Soon we were augmenting our coded emails with raunchy text messages. It didn’t take him long to ask to see that same photo that started it all, the one he only caught a glance of, a flash of naked skin. I pondered that, I weighed the risk. I decided to ask for an insurance policy. I told him I wouldn’t send it to his phone unless he sent me a naughty pic first. For once I managed to silence the boy with all the snappy comebacks. I texted him again and proceeded to describe the photo he was asking for in explicit, sultry words. Then I described another one that was also in my phone. When I told him to meet me at the copier in 1 minute, his response made it hard for me not to outwardly gloat.

“I can’t get up from my desk right now without being obvious that uh….something came up…”

“Show me. Now. Turn away from T and let me see what is so obvious.”

The photo he complied with showed a bulge that seemed out of place in his work pants. Ha! Subtle, but I knew what I was looking at. And thus, the teasing and risque photo dares started (there is something so deliciously naughty about a hard cock surrounded by office clothes). It was hot and arousing and distracting and such a delicious surprise, this turn of events. But yet still…..this did not go beyond work. This did not go beyond glances, words, text and photos despite how close by our cubicles really were. Until…..

Until the day I was wearing this ever-so-slightly sheer top at work. I went into the bathroom to take a photo for him, my bra cups shoved down and tits exposed. The text along with the photo told him that I was leaving my bra like that for awhile and that he should take notice the next time he walked by me. Oh, he noticed. A little while later as we stood by the printer pretending to sort through papers he stood close to me for a moment and accidentally-on-purpose brushed the back over his hand over my breast. The touch caused my nipple to harden instantly. Oh, he noticed. For what felt like minutes but was more like 3 seconds, his fingers lightly caressed my rock hard nipple through my thin shirt. I didn’t breath until he stopped and once he did stop it took me a minute to regain my composure and know that I could walk the 8 feet to my desk. Aided by our clutches of printed papers, me hiding my nipples that could cut glass and him hiding the hard bulge in his dress pants, we scurried back to our cubes where the messages flew back and forth. He knew about my bullet vibrator; he knew I carried it with me but I had told him that I never used it at work before or at least not at my desk. He thought he was being so daring. He asked questions about it and I knew what was coming.

“You should go put the bullet in and turn it on while you’re at your desk…..I dare you, Lilly.”

Oh gee, why gosh no, I couldn’t possibly do that……

Oh, a dare, you say? Well how can I refuse then?

And so it went. He asked, I told, about how good it felt and how naughty I was. I told him how my chest was flushed red and I was so close to coming. It was nearing 4pm. He waited a bit longer, for half of our co-workers to head out for the day, before he came to my desk under the guise of showing me how to look something up in our system. And he saw for himself my beautiful agony, how badly I needed it. While I followed his work-related instruction he whispered “I dare you to come right here at your desk as I watch”.

I should win an Emmy for that performance. Pretending to be taught, pretending to ask real questions, all while letting only barely audible moans escape as he spoke and I ground the bullet into my clit. As I felt that moment of imminent orgasm I couldn’t speak, I could only subtly tap his hand to let him know. He stared and watched the show as I tried to feign normalcy while my body betrayed me. My eyelids fluttered, I jerked three tiny body spasms that slipped from my control, and I felt the heat spread across my face and my chest. When I met his eyes again I saw awestruck lust.

“Thanks for showing me, D, I’ll let you know if I have any other problems.” I smiled serenely and stared at him until he walked away, with a tiny restrained smile on his lips.

May 282009

I’m sitting at my desk right, I’m at work.

For some reason inspiration struck and my creative and perverted mind has been spinning the scenarios of upcoming parts to my latest erotica series……I’ve been trying to concentrate on work for the past 3 hours but sex keeps pushing it’s way in like a neon sign.

And so my cunt has been on a slow simmer until I started writing at 4pm, when a good portion of the office leaves for the day. Work for 5 minutes. Write for 5 minutes. Sit there in a seeming fugue while my mind is stuck on what it would feel like to have my fingers inside her right now and her nipple trapped between my teeth.

It’s now 4:20. 90% of the office is gone by 4:30, well more like 4:25 because these fuckers sneak out early. I am waiting impatiently and checking my little sideview mirror as I wait for the people in my row to leave.

It’s 4:28. All but two others now in my row are gone. This one guy, I can’t stand him, he has his afternoon snack at 4:30 and so he’s up and down from his seat about a million times. It’s hard to get anything naughty done when I have to keep alt-tabbing. Ok, he’s gone for a minute….and I’m getting my bullet vibe out. I pondered going to the restroom but the cleaning crew starts before we’re all gone, so it’s not possible.

Fuck it. I’m just going to unzip right here at my desk.

Bullet in. Bullet on. High. Immediately I feel the tightening in my chest of extreme arousal and the utter dire need to come. I’ll just get myself close and then finish off in the car.

4:40. I keep squirming and pressing my thighs together and finding a new short-lived spot that presses the bullet into my clit. Short-lived because I’m soaking wet and it’s slippery down there. I’m pretending to work and also alt-tabbing back to my “secret internet window” to write smut.

4:50 now. I wonder if I can sneak out early. Actually…..I wonder if I can just do it right here at my desk once that idiot leaves. I’m gonna try. I have to.

Christ. I am about 9.5 on the O-scale and it’s delicious fucking torture.

Jesus christ would he just LEAVE already????

4:58. Come ON dickhead just leave, for the love of pete I fucking need to come!

Ok, he’s gone. My work tote is up on my desk, blocking most of the view of where my left hand is. I have my jeans unzipped and my hand shoved down my panties, grinding that bullet against my clit. I am silently begging my body to just let go, release, go over the edge already.


I could just cry the need is so bad.

Oh fuck. Finally.


Damn that was a strong orgasm, and my batteries were half dead! When the orgasm finally kicked over the edge and the fluttering at my eyelids started, I tried like hell to keep my eyes open, but one lid betrayed and fluttered/winked a few times and then the wave crashed and I tried to be silent I tried to be inconspicuous but instead I bowed my head a little and jerked subtly and moaned at just above a whisper and my cunt contracted and spasmed so strong I nearly cried. Wow.

Bullet off…..back in my bag….zip up my pants (please don’t let anybody walk by right now)….my few minutes of recovery are good enough, I’m gone baby.

{Edit: I walked out of there with a smile on my face and feeling at peace. The girl I lust for happened to leave at the same time so I stopped and said a quick hello to someone else…..I just didn’t have the bravery for small talk in a small elevator when I know damn well I’m a little flushed and my fingers smell like pussy.}

{Edit 2: My need to pleasure a woman right now is at maximum. At this point I don’t fucking care if she doesn’t reciprocate, I’ll just hump my Hitachi while I fuck her senseless with my fingers and mouth. What the FUCK do I have to do to get myself a female, a naked horny hot female??? I suspect this question is asked daily by men around the world.}

May 122009

Back in the old office, I was taking risks. Masturbating at my desk, even while I felt 95% safe doing so, was still a risk. Someone could by chance hear the vibrator, or take note of my flushed skin and lack of focus on work – or worse yet, as I got more daring towards the end, walk around behind my desk as I was on the floor. Perhaps my feeling safe was just being cocky.

I had assumed that, given the layout of the new office, I would not at all be able to continue my ways, especially playing with Q online. The inability to easily carry on a mostly-uninterrupted conversation is gone now; my movements have to be controlled and my poker face has to be in top game. And, given that I need pressure on my clit in order to come…..well, how could I do that at my desk here??

Last week he and I finally succumbed to it all and for the first time in many weeks, he had his (virtual) way with me. Twice.

I realized that even though there are more people, and closer, the office is noisier. The bullet vibe sound was masked perfectly. (as an aside, I am now using another bullet, more similar to my beloved original Silver Bullet)

And….before, the restroom was small….4 stalls. Any sound of the vibrator was frighteningly loud in there. But here, the restrooms are much bigger and I was able to find a way to quietly use the bullet vibe while in a stall. There were a few moments of loudness, as the internal vibrating bit went off balance and hit upon some hard internal surface, but I was able to orgasm. I waited until I thought everyone had left, for the first round, and was successful.

Of course, you know what that foreshadowing means.

I wasn’t so successful the second time.

The second time took me longer, there were more people in there, etc etc. As I felt myself nearing, I was not caring if someone was still in there. I did try to wait, and I thought I had heard the door close, with no other sounds of occupation.

In the words of the great Ron White….

I was wrong.

As my climax subsided and I moved the bullet away from my clit, I had this feeling I should have turned it off first before moving it, and I was right. A few short loud bursts in the silence of the bathroom and I wondered “What if I was wrong about it being empty?” Oh well, too late, deep breath. I wiped away the excess wetness from my cunt (for my panties already had a large soaked patch in them, I didn’t need it to be worse)  and snapped a few requested photos for him, I exited the stall, headed to the sinks and….there was a closed stall door a few down from me.


Whoever it was had to have heard me at some point. I had also been in that stall for quite some time, relatively speaking.

I kept my back to the stall doors, washed my hands in a hurry and quickly but controlled I left the restroom and made a beeline for my desk. I don’t know who it was – in the current office there are over 300 people on my floor, chances are it wasn’t anyone who knows me.

But still.

I was embarrassed and yet thrilled, scared and yet even more aroused.

Playtime is now a lot more dangerous, that is for sure. But neither he nor I care, really.