Jan 062018

Je Joue Bullets Classic and G-Spot against a light blue patterned backgroundWhen I first saw the new Je Joue bullets I had two thoughts. First: Oh god, more bullets. Second: Well, it’s Je Joue and except for that other extremely unfortunate line, I’ve really enjoyed every vibrator of theirs that I’ve tried and tend to recommend them highly. Also: that teaser video they put out for them where they did the water-displacement trick gave me hope – while they didn’t fight fair and compare their bullet to something actually comparable like the Tango, I did recognize that particular “style” of water displacement, the cue for “rumble and power”. So I reached out to Je Joue and eventually, a very nice rep said he’d send me the whole line which pleased me greatly because you all know how much I love to compare and contrast. After putting 2 of the 3 Je Joue Bullets through their paces I feel ready to recommend them!

A Play in Three Acts – Je Joue Bullets

Did you notice that I said “2 of the 3”? They sent me the whole line but I knew I wouldn’t like the Je Joue Rabbit Bullet because I hate “ears” on my clitoral vibrators. Yes, I love pinpoint stimulation – on one side. Whether they are ears or rigid prongs I’ve just never been a fan. I can tell you why I dislike ears easier than why I dislike prongs but it boils down to this: there’s no motor in the ears. They’re just fluff. They vibrate as wobbly antennae, protruding away from the motor and are therefore never rumbly or powerful enough for me and they crumble to nothing when smothered by chubby labia. Folks who need a more subtle approach tend to love them, though (if this is you? get the Rabbit bullet).

There was a bit of information noticeably missing from their early promos; info I find crucial: They took the idea behind the Mimi Soft and built that into the bullets. The tips are squishy! Folks who hate hard, rigid powerful bullets will really love these. The Je Joue Classic Bullet has a moderate amount of squishy bits, it’s just in the bullet-pointy tip part. The Je Joue G-Spot Bullet has the most – the squish begins the moment that tip angles out. The G-Spot Bullet will be the one you pick if you want power AND the most squish for your buck. The squishiness of the squish bits is the same as the Mimi Soft – so not quite as squishy as the Tenga Iroha vibes. But it feels more practical in use and placement of the squish compared to most Iroha styles1. All that being said: I couldn’t exactly feel the squish in use. It’s not like the marshmallow tip on the Eroscillator. But it can make it much more comfortable for those who like pressure.

Je Joue Bullet Classic, Je Joue Mimi Soft and Je Joue Bullet G-Spot lined up with a line drawn to show where the squishy bits startBut I’m definitely not on board with the G-Spot Bullet as an actual G-spot vibrator. In fact, the whole premise greatly confuses me and this is coming from a person with a shallow G-spot. Overall the G-spot bullet is just about 4.25″ long. The buttons are located on the shaft of the bullet which means the insertable portion is really short: 2.0″ if I’m being generous, giving you a mere half of an inch below the “high” or “increase” button and really, even then, you’re going to have trouble hitting that button. It just isn’t practical in my eyes to buy this as a G-Spot internal vibrator. As an external vibrator? It’s awesome and I love it.  So while I love this one for it’s big, squishy bulby tip, I twitch at it being called the G-Spot Bullet and prescribed as such but then perhaps I’m being short-sighted and there are folx out there who would actually need and use a slender vibrator with a max insertion length of about 2 inches.

What Is Happening With This Motor??

Two months ago this paragraph looked very different; my overall assessment and enjoyment of the motors in the Je Joue Bullets has increased the more I use them.

There are three things to know about me and my vibrator preferences: I usually need pinpoint stimulation, I love truly deep, rumbling vibrations (the more rumble the more better), and I hate patterns. Because these are bullets they’ve got the first requirement nailed down. I’d expected the same motor found in the Mimi but instead found something that confused me. The first four (of five) intensity levels aren’t exactly what I’d call “straight vibrations”. It’s like a really rapid pulsing that feels like it’s mimicking rumbling, thuddy vibrations. But yet it’s not really what I’d call a pattern and the funny thing is – I don’t hate it. Overall the motor still leans heavily more to the rumbly side of the scale but things feel different from the We-Vibe Tango or the Je Joue Mimi. I’d still call it rumbly, and possibly gently thuddy, while the highest level of intensity brings a tiny bit of buzz back to the party and removes the pulsating thud.

The lowest settings on the Je Joue bullets are nice and effective enough, while the highest setting is probably equal to the middle level of the Tango, or somewhere between mid and high level of the Tango2.  I was on the fence about these vibrations until I clocked more than 10 uses and realized I kept picking them up3. A bullet is basically my hands-free set-it-and-come vibrator that is great when I’m masturbating at my desk or otherwise sitting up and unable to relax, lay back, and spread out for the Womanizer. 

I prefer the Womanizer as my top choice for clitoral stimulation but it’s not always practical for my positioning the way a bullet can be. I do still feel like if given the choice, I’d pick the Tango over the Je Joue Bullets because I like the Tango’s motor a little better and, even though it has a single button to hate, there are fewer patterns so it’s much quicker and easier to cycle back through. The button differences have their pros and cons each so it’ll depend on how you use it.

The Cons – Because There’s Always a Few Cons

Je Joue Bullet buttons vs Je Joue Mimi buttonsI hate the buttons. I really fucking hate the buttons. I can see why they went this way – 3 buttons are absolutely better than one. Three allows you to traverse the intensities up and down as you please without forcing you to hit up floors 3, 4 and 5 when you’re on 2 and just wanna revisit 1 briefly to back off.  But having three buttons on a bullet means the buttons need to go on the “shaft” rather than the end. No matter how I hold it or how many times I’ve used it I can’t get accustomed to these barely-perceptible buttons that are smushed close together, and I’m often4 hitting the wrong damn button. It’s often enough that I end up hitting the “pattern” button way too often – often enough that if I were the type to give a star rating in my reviews, the buttons would knock off a full star. In use, if you can’t see the buttons you also can barely feel them, much less tell them apart quickly and easily. I hate patterns and wish they didn’t exist on these bullets.

I love versatility in a sex toy and these bullets when compared to the Tango, lack that somewhat. The Je Joue Bullets can’t be used inside other toys. They are versatile with external use, though, and provide a more pinpoint option than the Mimi.

A Solid “Hey These Are Pretty Darn Good” Rating

The Je Joue bullets are not taking any crowns or awards home for the most rumbly or powerful bullets on the market; they’re not the most affordable. They ARE waterproof, though, and have a warranty. But it’s a solid 7 for me and for others it may even rank higher. I really enjoy them, despite a few qualms and a hatred of the buttons. I enjoy the squishy-squashy tips, the weird motor and the fact that they charge via mini-USB. I prefer the motor in these over the Jopen $50 mini vibes, so the $10 boost in price feels like a worthwhile upgrade – plus I also hate the Jopen buttons PLUS the Jopen vibes charge via pin-style plug connector. Anything that charges via mini-USB gets a little boost from me since I can charge my phone or mouse with the same cable.The Je Joue bullets, despite being a far less pretty “sad purple” are a lot better in use than any Crave bullet or Crave mini vibrator I’ve tried.

There are lower-priced rechargeable bullets that are powerful, such as the Screaming O Charged Positive or Vooom but I flat-out refuse to support that company and recommend any of their products. If price is a big factor to you and thuddy rumbles matter less, you’ll probably end up picking the Screaming O bullet, much to my chagrin. I’d rather you not, okay? Thankssss. I do encourage you to try out a Je Joue Bullet! They’re neat!


These bullets were provided to me by Je Joue in exchange for my honest review and can be purchased at SheVibe for $59.

  1. I’ve never written “squish” quite so many times in a review, I think this is a new record
  2. My kingdom for a goddamn working Tango charger
  3. Have I mentioned I need a goddamn working Tango charger? My Tangos are all still dead because I’ve lost one charging cable and the other doesn’t work
  4. Nearly always
Jun 112017

Crave Bullet Vibe Stainless Steel with Silicone Cap off to the sideSome sex toys are multi-purpose, and others are good for just one thing – the Crave Bullet is a very decent bullet if you’re buying it to replace the short, watch-battery cheap bullets that come with things like cock rings, dildos, etc. But if you’re looking for an external, rechargeable vibrator? You can do better.

The Good

Crave is pushing for this bullet like a bad infomercial: why spend money on all these batteries when you can have just one rechargeable Crave Bullet? I imagine the infomercial would feature folks fumbling with stacking and dropping in the button-sized batteries, or spinning the battery racks at the store looking in vain for the type they need.

Is it better than watch-battery bullets? Yep. It is definitely a decent upgrade in both power and rumble. This isn’t to say it’s a powerhouse, just that it is better than what they’re comparing it to.

Not only is the Crave Bullet made from quality steel, but it’s waterproof, rechargeable and more rumbly and powerful than the bullets it aims to replace. It’s not vastly overpriced if you get the simple silver-tone vs the strange duo-tone or gold-plated version. I can get behind this for a bullet replacement when it’s priced at $59, but not at $99. It is really well-made, though. I’m impressed.

The inset button means that this Bullet won’t get accidentally turned on whether it’s floating in your bag or you’re trying to push the bullet inside the cavity of a vibrating butt plug. Smart!

The Bad

The motor isn’t perfect for me even though it is probably identical to the Vesper motor. What worked about the Vesper, for me, was the slender, super-pinpoint nature and warm heat function. When you put the same motor in the less-pinpoint Bullet it feels a bit “less” to me, and I have to work harder to get off with it.  I’m sure you’re wondering:  why is the motor “bad”? Isn’t it just bad for me, Lilly, but maybe it’s great for you, dear reader? Very good question, I’m so glad you asked!

While the Crave Bullet is a really decent upgrade in strength from the cheap watch-battery bullets it still doesn’t have the oomph to travel through a lot of silicone. I put it inside a Tantus vibrating dildo and was instantly underwhelmed with the vibrations traveling through the silicone dildo. If you’re using this is in something much smaller like a cock ring or prostate massager / butt plug? It’s an upgrade you can feel. I put also put this in the Tantus Prostate Play and, while it’s still a lot less powerful and rumbly than some rechargeable, vibrating items on the market, it was an upgrade over the included bullet from Tantus.

You sensed a “but”, right? Here’s the “but”:  Yes it’s an upgrade but there’s already an upgrade on the market which is loads better – the Tango. Unfortunately, I cannot help comparing all rechargeable bullets to my ultimate love, the We-Vibe Tango. Tango performs really well when replacing a bullet in another sex toy, and should be your choice if the sex toy takes the longer Tantus bullets or the Rocks Off RO-80mm bullet.  Why? Well, you ideally want a bullet that fills the whole cavity in the sex toy, for maximum performance and maximum vibration transference. The Screaming O Vooom, pictured below in pink, I think is also meant to replace these little bullets but it’s just a little bit too chunky to fit in the cavity of most sex toys. That said, the Screaming O Vooom is considerably more powerful and rumbly than the Crave Bullet – Still no Tango, but hey.

L to R: Tantus 1 Speed, Crave, Screaming O Vooom, Tango, Tantus 3 Speed (RO-80mm)

L to R: Tantus 1 Speed, Crave, Screaming O Vooom, Tango, Tantus 3 Speed (RO-80mm)

The Strange

The Crave Bullet comes with a silicone half-sleeve. They recommend donning this sleeve when you use it externally; for the texture improvement, supposedly. Yet a “feature” of the Crave Bullet is that it heats up. A heated vibrator can help wake up a sleepy clitoris, but only if the silicone sleeve is left off. Otherwise, you won’t feel the heat much.

You would expect the entire bottom portion, especially the tip, to vibrate evenly, right? I would. But the Crave Bullet has stronger vibrations along the sides than the flat tip. If you look at this design and see yourself applying the flat tip to yourself, you’ll want to look elsewhere. If you think you’d like to use the edge of the tip, probably still look elsewhere – unless of course you don’t need a ton of power. If you prefer mild-to-moderate vibrators, this motor will be just fine for you.

Which Sex Toys are Compatible?

I wanted to find out at least a partial list of sex toys that take a similarly sized bullet. According to customer support at Crave:

“The Crave bullet is designed to fit products that accept a standard size plastic bullet which is generally less than 65mm in length. We do not have a specific product list of items that fit Crave bullet since the plastic bullet is a common size. If a product will accept a standard plastic bullet it will fit the Crave bullet.”

After speaking with SheVibe and Tantus, though, I have a better idea with specific suggestions. Vamp Silicone dildos do occasionally come as a vibrating dildo, and they use the smaller bullets. SheVibe currently doesn’t have any in stock, but may in the future. Vixen Creations is the same; one current example is the Leo or Mistress. Fuze seems to be compatible as well. You’ll also run into this bullet size in vibrating cock rings, but for this kind of money you’d be better off just upgrading to a rechargeable cock ring.


Thanks to SheVibe for sending me the Crave Bullet in exchange for my honest, if picky, review.





Feb 262011

DocJohnsonBlackMagicBulletThis is possibly the easiest sex toy review I’ll ever write.


Because I’ve basically already reviewed this toy before. Not one to step too far out on a limb, Doc Johnson changed the coating and gave it a new name. Voila, another product for their massive category!

Despite the differences in the size as listed in the descriptive reviews for each of these two bullets, both the bullet and the handpack are exactly the same size and shape. If I had to find a difference, the cord on the Doc Johnson Black Magic Bullet is 1/2″ shorter. Otherwise, they are both plastic bullets with 4 settings and they light up the same. The Harmony Bullet is shiny, slippery plastic while the Black Magic Bullet is “velvet cote” plastic. They both take 2 AAA batteries and the bullet motors are almost identical.


But you know what, I cannot tell you that it’s definitely a difference between the two over all. Perhaps just between my two. If you gave me two Harmony bullets I might notice the same difference. The Black Magic Bullet, when it’s just buzzing away untethered in the palm of your hand, sounds a bit louder. When the bullet is grasped for use, however, they both seem the same. Not near-silent but under your comforter it’s pretty quiet.

There’s one major difference: The price. For some reason the Black Magic Bullet, as of this writing, is a full $6 cheaper than the Harmony Bullet.

When I first reviewed the Harmony bullet I didn’t feel that it was the most powerful bullet I’d owned. While both of these do nail it perfectly on the vibration pitch for me (lower, rumbly) I think I was too quick to judge. There has been only one other bullet that was more powerful AND cheaper, but it hasn’t been in stock for a long time and I don’t think it ever will be again (the Vital Bullet). Both of these Doc Johnson bullets have something that the cheaper “silver bullet” handpacks don’t – 4 discernible vibration intensity levels. And because of the rumbly pitch of the vibrations I have actually been able to orgasm on the 2nd setting (and once on the first!!) when I was extremely aroused and had had it tucked against my clit for awhile watching porn or reading porn or something.

If I were forced to choose just one to recommend I’d pick the Black Magic, and not only because it’s cheaper. I quite like the velvet-cote that’s on both the bullet and handpack. It seems to look cleaner after use for some reason and I personally just think that the black velvety look is more visually appealing. Either way you go, though, I truly do highly recommend either the Doc Johnson Black Magic or the Harmony (but make sure to get the Harmony in black).


The Fine Print:

  • Not to be used anally
  • If you use it vaginally, please put the bullet in a condom for easier retrieval to extend the life of the cord
  • Follow cleaning instructions for plastic
May 292010

One of my favorite sex toys to review are remote-controlled bullets. Well, calling them “bullets” is a bit of a misnomer, I guess. They’re usually egg-shaped. But I digress.

There’s a big reason why I love bullets: I can nestle it in between my labia and sit there, hands-free, enjoying the vibrations as they rumble on my clit. Mostly hands-free. Most bullets, most of the time, require my help to climb that last hill to orgasm by pressing it and holding it to just that right perfect spot on my clit. I’ve found that, for me, price has no bearing on whether or not a vibrating bullet will get me to orgasm. It’s all about the speed and type of vibrations.

The Vital Bullet is probably about as cheap as you can get. And about as powerful. It’s not in the dreaded “high-pitched buzzy” camp of motors that can leave me itchy rather than aroused. On it’s top speed it might very well be entirely too powerful for women with a sensitive clit. It’s made by WHK GmbH which means……absolutely nothing. The packaging is a cheap plastic blister pack with a cheesy half-naked girl on the insert card; there’s absolutely no brand name visible on the packaging. The package tells you the very basic details: “quiet”, “4-speed”, “powerful” and “100% waterproof”.

This bullet has an odd feature – the bullet can unplug from the top of the remote pack. I suppose this could come in handy if it were a name-brand bullet and you could purchase a replacement bullet-only (since that’s where all the wires that can come loose, reside) but for the low price of $9.95 for a brand new one?….why would you bother? If I had any other remote bullets with this plug feature I’d test to see if they’re interchangeable but alas, I do not. I’ve only found one useful reason to unplug the bullet from the battery pack – if it’s not plugged in, then it can’t be accidentally turned on should you find yourself in a situation where you’re traveling with it and don’t want it accidentally turning on (and you also left the batteries in).

The cord is a mere 20″ long. Most other bullets I’ve owned have a cord around 30″ in length. 20″ is pretty short, especially when one is using it the way I tend to use bullets – tucked into my panties, the cord coming out my waist-band and the pack shoved into my front pocket. The control pack is elementary. A slider that clicks along 5 positions: off, low, mid, high, super. “Mid”, because it’s a thrummy-lower-pitched motor, has actually gotten me to orgasm if I’m super-aroused. “High” is perfect when I need a little more oomph. “Super” is a setting I like but I cannot leave it on this setting once I start to orgasm, it’s just too much. Yes! I said something is too much! (see: Am I becoming more sensitive?? for more info) The actual bullet is about the same size as most other ones I’ve tried like the Bnaughty. It’s a bit noisy but then again, many bullets are. If you’re trying to discreetly use this in a silent bedroom….forget about it. Under the covers though? Nestled under panties and jeans? Doable.

The pack also has a singular red light to let you know it’s turned on. Easy to cover up if need be, doesn’t make the whole hand pack glow like the Harmony Bullet. It takes the standard 2 AA batteries, fits nicely in the palm of your hand with the slider bar in just the right position.

I can’t believe I’m actually saying this but……

I’m recommending a $10 sex toy from a no-name company with terrible packaging.

When you get down to it, though, bullets are one of the very very few sex toys that fall into that range that one can safely recommend. I suggest you buy two, because lord knows how long it’ll last. My Doc Johnson Harmony Bullet has actually been my go-to bullet these days so I’ve not put this one through the ringer. At $10 though it’s no hardship to replace once it does crap out.

Thanks to Edenfantasys.com for sending me this (way too long ago) to review!

Jan 162010

Another sex toy, another quest. This time I continue on my quest to find a bullet vibrator that offers the intensity and vibration frequency that is ideal for me, while being good quality so that it’ll last longer than 6 months. This makes my 9th bullet vibe (the kind with the remote handpack) and my 5th in the “higher quality” style.

The higher quality bullet vibes have these features:

  • Little plastic/rubber nubs where the wire goes into the handpack, the bullet or both. This protects and keeps the wire from being pulled away from the contacts inside
  • Multi-functions – while I don’t give a hang about pulsing functions, some do
  • An overall better design – lights on the handpack, interesting colors, etc. It’s not a plain silver bullet and generic handpack.

Usually I have found that the higher quality bullets lack one of two very important things (for me): Intensity of the power of vibrations, or the proper vibration frequency/pitch. Many women, myself included, will prefer the lower pitch vibrations as opposed to the higher pitch buzzy vibes. The Harmony bullet nails it on the vibration pitch, and with fresh batteries has the power I need. Yes, fresh batteries. The handpack takes 2 AAA batteries and really eats them up quickly.

The Harmony Bullet Vibrator is named as such just as a marketing gimmick. There’s nothing special about it.  The box calls it a “Balanced Bullet” but again it just seems to be a marketing term. They offer a black and a white one, the packaging calls them ying and yang but it’s not like there’s any difference between the two other than color. The control is a push-button style of sorts, as opposed to a slider or a wheel. There’s 4 levels of power with the lowest being very mild. No pulsing functions. I don’t like the lights, as it tends to light up the entire handpack (at least for the white one, I dont know what the black one is like). I also don’t like that it takes AAA batteries, as I don’t keep many on hand. It’s all one color, smooth/shiny plastic. I’ll update in a few months if this holds up better than all the “silver” tone bullets I’ve owned which tend to have the silver rub/chip off after some months of use.


Despite the lights (which I plan to cover with white electrical tape) and the use of AAA batteries, I quite like this one. It is not THE most powerful bullet that I own, but it’s got enough oomph to matter to me. Simple and not tacky. Added bonus of the rubber wire-keepers means it’ll hopefully last longer.

Thanks to Edenfantasys.com for providing this for me to review!