Feb 1, 2012

Should we bring back the Sex Blogger Co-Op for a trial revival?

A number of the 100-some original members are long gone and in their place are newer bloggers who don’t know about the thing that was once the Sex Blogger Co-Op on Ning.com. For a refresher or those who don’t know what it’s all about, read these few posts: Blogger Education? talks a bit about the demise andProjects Abound introduces the Co-Op and talks about what it was.

When the Co-Op moved it was because Ning announced it would no longer host their long-time free networks. They were also closing down “adult” communities without warning and that spooked a few people, despite the fact that our group was private, invite-only and not pornographic. The move to a more text-based forum set-up hosted on the e[lust] site spelled disaster as nobody wanted to to go there anymore. It wasn’t easy or pretty. Without any participation from other members, I closed it down.

I still think there is a need for it, for a private place for just the bloggers to go where we can say “Hey, did you get an email from CompanyX? Is this shit for real?” or stuff like that. For those who were not a part of it, some things we discussed were:

Tutorials on how to do certain things on your blog, like design elements, a clickable header, embedding video
Discussions on affiliate programs
Opinions on the latest company/group to hit us up for reviews/exposure
Discussion on advertisers, like what they were proposing, who was telling them to go to hell, etc
Blogging prompts

There were debates, arguments, but overall a lot of help being offered and confused questions answered. I’d like to think that it was just as helpful to newer bloggers as it was the veterans. While I don’t expect every sex-type blogger to join I would hope that both veteran and new bloggers would join in, and be active. How active? Whatever you manage….to a point. Since there would be a member cap (150 people) I would have to occasionally weed out those who hadn’t participated in any way for X number of months. It’s not free, of course. The cheap plan (similar to the ToySwap Network, if you’re a member there) allows for forums (including the ability to subscribe to threads or boards to get email updates on new posts) and 150 members. Things that we once had that we would no longer have: The ability for anybody but me to invite people in to the network; chat room; ability to customize the layout. We would lose the few topics that were started or continued once the network moved off of Ning but I don’t think that it’s really a big deal. All the old discussions remain as do your memberships if you were once part of it.

For those who were once a part of it: Would you re-join? It would still be private and invite-only as I feel that it’s the only way we can truly speak our minds on some things. For those who are newer, would you join?

And no, it’s not free. As I said there would be a small price ($3 for me) but the next plan up is a whopping $25 a month and although it will give us many of the features we enjoyed with the free Ning, like chat rooms and customization and no member cap I don’t think that I could get enough people to chip in to come up with a steady $25 a month. I would not require that every blogger contribute something monetarily in order to join but I would greatly appreciate it. I would only ask for a couple dollars per person able to contribute, as it will only cost me $36 a year. And since it’s a month-to-month payment plan if for some reason the whole thing takes off like it never did before and there is a need and willingness to warrant the $25 a month plan, we can upgrade. I don’t see that happening but it’s a door I’m not closing.

If I don’t get much feedback here or much positive feedback then I will allow Ning to delete the network and the contents. I have until February 10th to decide.

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission, email dangerouslilly @ gmail.com

Jan 27, 2012

Posted by Lilly | 1 Comment

ILU

I have 6 drafts that are half-finished. I’ve been in some state or another of “sick” this week and feeling like crap, exhausted and lacking patience. I’m away this weekend so all these posts will have to wait, and I hope I can conjure up their thought trains again.

My main point to this post is to say “ILU” to the people who purchase sex toys through my affiliate link. The sales aren’t racking up this month like they were in December, but December was still a banner month, more than I’d ever made before. These sales make me feel like I’m not sitting here wasting away, like I’m contributing to the household or at least not draining it. Thank you, it means more than you know. Also, I’m DYING of curiousity whenever I see a sale and I wonder what you bought, so if you ever feel like telling me – TELL ME!

EF is interviewing one of my favorite people right now, Ducky, so go ask her some crazy questions. Crazy questions, though, not just “I’m doing this for the hell of it” questions with bad grammar.

Oo!oo! EF is having another one of those sales, where your discount goes up the more you spend. GO BUY SEX TOYS FOR VALENTINE’S DAY. BUY ALL THE TOYS. HAVE ALL THE SEX. Partnered? Sex toys. Solo? SEX TOYS. I mean hey, you should always learn to love yourself first, right? Oh wait, I don’t think “love” is what they meant with that saying. You know. AIRQUOTE love /AIRQUOTE.

I know what I’m buying with this deal. Since I like the We Vibe Touch so much, I want to own the We Vibe Salsa and Tango. I wonder why the latter two are named after sexy dances but the Touch isn’t? Hmm.

Oh! I might possibly have gotten a lead on finally doing some of those sex toy education workshops I’ve talked about. Very exciting. I suck at public speaking and I’m initially very shy so I have NO clue how this will go the first time or the first ten minutes. Perhaps vodka will be the key?

Anyways, coming up in posts: More sex toy reviewer interviews, with Epiphora and Adriana. My ticked-off review of the JimmyJane Form 6. Review of the We Vibe Touch and Minna Ola. A fun game of “spot the sex toy” with Tumblr porn. I might talk about the Pipedreams Curve wand, a steel toy that may or may not be stainless steel and is a knock-off, design-wise, of the Njoy Fun Wand. Waiting on info for a big tell-all post about our favorite material: Silicone! And some upcoming fun stuff with Crystal Delights, makers of pretty glass and Swarovski butt plugs and dildos. But now I’m off to go tend to my very aching back and smell my own tits.

whut. they smell nice. I’ve just discovered Philosophy’s Amazing Grace scent. You can smell them too, cuz ILU.

this post sponsored is by: EdenFantasys (What this means), a sex toy store

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission, email dangerouslilly @ gmail.com

Jan 2, 2012

Posted by Lilly | 6 Comments

Buck Up, Buttercup, The World Ain’t Gonna End

A new year. An old one gone. Regrets. New promises. Who the hell knows what’ll happen. At least I know the world won’t end; apparently this isn’t the first time the Mayan Calendar reached the end of its cycle – it’s the 13th. It’s just that there wasn’t Internet on the 12th ending to spread the word of impending doom and chaos and oh-noes-we’re-gonna-burn-up-in-a-fiery-sun-ball.

2011….I left the state I’d been in all my life. I left a job I really disliked. My hubs is now the bacon-bringer with me pulling in the occasional bagel. Some have said that me not having a proper job is bad for me, the lacking of a schedule/routine and all that. We moved into a house when we moved and we thought it would be grand. Except…we’re renting. Normally not a huge deal. Except the property is shared with others who rent commercial-type garage bays and they are not at all what was expected when we signed the lease. They’re here too much, too close, too loud, too irritating. The house is drafty, as old houses are. My long-held dreams of hardwood floors have been shattered as I realize that cat fur and wood floors requires more vacuuming more often than my back can tolerate! I’ve also discovered that I am a shitty housewife and would make an even shittier stay at home mom. Or a mom at all for that matter. But yet I’m starting to feel the mid-life crisis of “Will anybody give a shit about us when we’re gone?” because without children to care about your photos and your antiques and your crap, who else will? Sometimes I think of making photo albums in grand ways but then realize….it’ll be for me, sure, but then who? Nobody. I’m currently aimless and without purpose. No mark to leave on the world in 40 years.

2011 has shown me changes in my social life. Namely, I don’t have much of one and I miss some people. Ah well. I’ve disappointed myself a lot in 2011. I got off the “diet”, first with a bad injury and then the move. 2011 also gave me clarity in a way – the way of loss. The flood at my mother’s where a lot was ruined or lost. I have a dining room table and foyer full of photos and negatives and supplies as I tried to save the packets that got wet….and quickly failed. Now they sit. Mocking me and my failure. But also it’s too hard. Too many ghosts that I can’t deal with. She’s back in her home now just in time for Christmas but merely driving down the long country highway to her house clenches my heart and wells at my eyes. Months later there are still too many signs of the destruction. A shed uprooted and wedged on it’s side in between a tree and another shed. Clothes and debris in tree branches. Bare foundations. But then I see the news and I see what a mid-west tornado looks like and how those people have nothing left. Or a fire. And I can’t even fathom dealing with that. Seeing my mom’s new house ruined and torn back to its studs and a mountain of tangible memories or just old shoes in a garbage pile in the driveway was bad enough. Heartbreaking enough.

2012. Moving on. I’m going to try to get some balance back in my body. For Christmas I got a sunlight-replacement lamp and a FitBit. I’m doing my best to beat this insomnia without the use of benzo’s but it’s slow going. I’ve got my sites on new, clean tracks: Wanton Wednesday posts are scheduled up for a couple months; e[lust] and the new schedule are up and running, the photo submissions idea is working quite nicely and I finally implemented SEO crap on the site that I should have done ages ago but didn’t - so traffic is increasing slowly thanks to that. I finally updated my blogroll here, spruced up the contact methods to attempt to eliminate some of the headaches of emails I don’t want, I optimized the site so that it might load a little faster and hope to find a new direction for posting.

Alrighty. Time to stop procrastinating today. Time to clean and reorganize my big desk and the office room in general, so that I can find sex toys when I need them or just so that they aren’t haphazardly laying around like they are now. Hopefully the oil man comes shortly, because I’m cold and we’re nearly bone-dry. Time to go cook my first turkey just for the hell of it.

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission, email dangerouslilly @ gmail.com

Dec 29, 2011

Posted by Lilly | 2 Comments

Sex toys, Weasel Words, MomentumCon and Contact Form Fun!

I think I have enough sex toys.

I’ll probably change my mind in a few weeks. But I can’t find anything that I’m just dying to try. I have a bunch of things lined up to review, though. A Leaf vibe, and new super-pretty glass dildo from MyPleasure are the top ones. I bought a Lelo Ella since it’s one of the things I always harbored an interest in but never tried, I might review that or I might just keep it for a giveaway item someday if I can ever get this sex toy education workshop going. I also bought an Extase Zenith vibe with some reservations, reservations which proved me right. It sounds like a fuckin weed whacker. I wrote to the company but they never responded. I don’t think it’s supposed to be quite that loud. They like to claim all their vibes are “whisper quiet”. That’s almost never true, it’s just weasel words.

Problem is, I have this great one-time only coupon code for EF (25% off) that needs to be used up by January 8th and I truly have nothing I REALLY want. One lucky reader can use it but only if they agree to purchase through my affiliate links at EF. I’m trying to make sure that my trip to Momentum, where I’m presenting, is fully funded so I’m really trying hard to get as many affiliate commissions at EF as possible this month (because the commissions made in December won’t get paid out til February which means I’ll be better able to save that money and not use it, lol). I’d thought that I had enough in commissions but I don’t yet. Close! Of course they currently have tons of sales, too, so good deals are to be had with or without that coupon code.

Speaking of Momentum, their early bird registration ends January 2nd!! If you think you’d like to go, buy tickets NOW or the price will go up by $25 after Jan 2nd. If something comes up you can always transfer your tickets to someone else (by March 1st) so take advantage of this now. I personally think that the sessions and presenters look to be even more awesome than last year – which means you really don’t want to miss this.

I lamented not too long ago about all the idiotic emails I get where it’s quite fuckin clear they didn’t actually read my blog or my Advertising page or whatever. So I finally found a WordPress contact form plugin that allows me to create error messages based on what someone does wrong in the form, and more importantly allows me to say that a choice you can make is wrong! Go ahead, go try it. If you’re a reader and not totally lacking in intelligence you’ll know which choices are THE WRONG CHOICES and will get to see my awesome fail message. It could be more awesome of course but the creator of this plugin didn’t likely account for someone like me >:)

Oh and a rant to look forward to on the horizon: Reviews that talk about a crappy/weak toy being great for beginners. I was guilty of that once, too, but it’s sugar-coating AND weasel words and I have things to say about it.

e[lust] and the new schedule arrive in just a few short days, January 1st! Get your submission figured out!

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission, email dangerouslilly @ gmail.com

Dec 1, 2011

Posted by Lilly | 3 Comments

Insomnia, Stupidity and Saved by The Bloggess

Ah, the holidays. I don’t know about you, but for me and the hubs it means lots of driving combined with sleeping in strange beds all wrapped up in being around 4 germ-infested children.

This year’s Thanksgiving was a little more hectic than usual as we visited his family in Long Island for the first time (surprisingly it was the drive there that caused yelling, panic, getting lost, and stress – leaving LI on Black Friday morning was actually easy). I’ve been battling insomnia for quite some time now; usually my fibromyalgia puts me through long cycles (not unlike bi-polar disorder) where for months I’m passed out by 10pm without help followed by months of me stumping doctors as drug after drug fails me.

I was taking one of the benzo’s, Klonopin, which if you read about it on Wikipedia starts to sound downright scary for longterm use. Couple with the fact that I was immune and to the point where 4mg was barely affecting me. For reference: most people are started at .25mg. Many doctors don’t want to prescribe anything higher than 1mg. I wrangled 2mg pills yet quickly needed 4mgs. It was then that I gave up and started to slowly wean myself off it.

Except….what NOW? Over the years I’ve been on:

Ambien (crazy ass dreams)
Lunesta (didn’t work, plus crazy dreams when I would sleep)
Elavil (worked for awhile, til it didn’t)
Trazedone (worked until I required such high doses that I would be hungover til noon)
Various herbal teas
Lavender
Kava
Melatonin (works, then it doesn’t, then it does)
Advil PM
Klonopin
Valium
Xanax
Flexeril (nope)
Soma (nope)
Zanaflex (nope)

I’m sick of being reliant on drugs. I am. I’m thankful right now that I don’t work because I’d be a mess. No sleep = fibro flare ups. Next up on the River of Dreams is a cocktail of supplements. Namely, I’m going to increase the melatonin and get a timed-release version. Adding in timed-release 5-HTP. And a combo pill (which I’ll be lucky if I can swallow) of Calcium and Magnesium.

You’re wondering where the stupidity and Thanksgiving work into all of this.

I’ve been trying to sleep at night without taking Klonopin. I’ll take it if I’ve been up more than 1.5 hours after taking the melatonin and Advil PM. Despite my exhaustion, this was of course the case Thanksgiving night at his family’s house. I had to sleep….we had a 4.5 hour drive the next morning to see my family. Plus I was having a flare-up and/or coming down with something. Because he was tossing and turning I thought he wasn’t sleeping, either. I asked him something. Then I asked him “Where is your Klonopin?” because I couldn’t find my bottle. He had told me earlier he didn’t bring much spare Klonnie, and in his sleepy stupor he thought I asked “Did you take your Klonopin?” He answered ” ‘course”. I heard “purse”. When we travel he sometimes keeps his meds in my purse. Except now that he takes Klonnie only at night, that’s no longer the case.

Anyways. I go to my purse. Yup there’s a prescription bottle. Take 2 (he had 1mg pills, I have 2mg). Go to my bottle of Coke Zero. Throw the pills in my mouth. For a second I experience a bitter taste and swig in a mouthful of Coke and pause before swallowing….wait..why are they bitter? Maybe I should turn on a light and check the bottle before swallowing….nah. its fine.

Yeah, it wasn’t Klonopin. Instead, I took 20mg of Ritalin. Why I even bothered to fucking look after the fact is beyond me. I likely would have slept if I hadn’t jacked up my adrenaline from fear and panic. I’m ADD, so stimulants don’t wake me up. In fact, too much puts me to sleep. However I haven’t taken Ritalin in well over a year and a half. I’m currently taking Nuvigil during the day and while it should be gone after 12 hours I know that there’s a half-life and some was still in my system. I panicked on how it would interact with the Nuvigil from the morning and the Nuvigil I’d take the next morning. Would I die? Would I be sick? So I did the only thing I could think of. I went to the bathroom and forced myself to throw up – something I’ve never done before. Where’s the fucking uber-sensitive gag reflex when you NEED it?!?! The process was difficult. And painful. And I have no idea how much of it I got out of my system. And I was sick for days as a result.

I will NEVER fucking do that again.

Oh, The Bloggess? She mentioned this NeuroSleep drink that helps her sleep and Neuro Drink was sponsoring the post. Jenny has RA and insomnia as well so if it works for her, I feel like it could work for me. Thanks to her I’m trying it out soon and I have fingers crossed. Of course I also have ordered those supplements too (which, I know, don’t take those plus the Neurosleep, I’ll be in a coma for 3 days) because frankly if the NeuroSleep works it would be a great item to take with me when we do the family visits for Christmas. Very portable. But I only found out about all these supplements because I was researching NeuroSleep. So unless I’m a unicorn and this all fucking fails spectacularly, The Bloggess saved me.

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission, email dangerouslilly @ gmail.com

Nov 23, 2011

Posted by Lilly | 17 Comments

What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever masturbated with?

I wonder how many people have the cohones to truthfully respond to this question?

I will allow you to be anonymous and won’t spill the beans if I know who you are, I promise ;)

My confession:

A bedpost. Oh I know what you’re thinking. Like this, right? No no. no. The one in question was more like this. Yes it was long, and I yanked it off the bed. Yes I was desperate for anything that had a chance at helping me orgasm since I had nothing that could vibrate.

Why was it dumb?

1. Because it was probably dusted at some point using a chemical spray, like Pledge.

2. The accidental ramming of my cervix resulted in an hour or two of moderate cramping and spotting later on.

All text and images on this site require permission before they can be used anywhere. To obtain permission, email dangerouslilly @ gmail.com