Sep 222014

It took 6 years for me to be accused of being bought off. Also, I’m officially notorious. Perhaps I should change my handle to Notorious L.I.L?

SheVibe is All That

Some people, even other bloggers, have questioned my love for SheVibe. As one of the biggest mouths in the Toxic Toy “hysteria” scene, I’ve had a few question it because they carry stuff that’s porous. They don’t carry anything that isn’t labeled by the manufacturer as “phthalates-free” so in that regard they ARE a non-toxic shop. As you all know I don’t love porous toys and won’t recommend them for insertables 98% of the time.  Plus I have deep reservations about trusting the phthalates-free claims from certain companies. Hey, they can lie. So while there are items in stock that I personally don’t agree with, it’s better than most shops. More importantly, SheVibe has changed with the times and now they warn customers about porosity. This still doesn’t mean that customers necessarily understand porosity or why it matters, but that’s another story for another day.

So yes, a few have even questioned if I’m being paid to be so loyal to SheVibe, and work with them/recommend them above all other retailers. Not only am I not paid off to be loyal to them, but I make less money in commissions by directing my readers to them. The affiliate commission percentage at SheVibe is a bit less than most other places I’m affiliated with. But there’s really nowhere else I’d rather my readers shop. I’ve come to realize in my 6+ years that the integrity of the company as a whole and the humans running the company is incredibly important. You will never find SheVibe trying to control their affiliates and what they write in their reviews. You will never find SheVibe bad-mouthing their competition just to get ahead in business. They do not want to succeed to the detriment of another company.  They have never, to my knowledge, threatened a reviewer in any way, or screwed over a customer. SheVibe is run by a bunch of people whom I consider to all be Good People. They have a sense of humor (that maybe all don’t agree with) and they have a unique style; they’re not cookie-cutter, they’re not posers, they’re not schmoozers. They listen to their trusted reviewers and value them.  In my 6 years I’ve come across a lot of douchebags and awful people. SheVibe is a goddamn gem. Which is to say nothing of the fact that their stock selection is good, they’ll carry things if requested to do so, their prices are great, their customer service is great, they have sales all the time, they don’t try to hide who the manufacturer is of a toy or change the name of it, and if you’re lucky you might get some box art

Jimmyjane is Clueless

I recently received this awesome note of thanks from an employee at a retail store down south, saying that she and her co-workers often learn more from me than many company reps and they credit me for teaching them about toxic & porous toys – honestly the note was awesome and it made my week…not just for the thank you but for this next part. Apparently, their Jimmyjane rep is not only unprofessional but clueless as well. When the rep tried talking up the Form 4, one of the employees countered back with complaints about the charging dock, the price and…..the seam. At the word “seam” the rep woke up and said “You must have read Dangerous Lilly’s blog. She hates us… I don’t even know why she hates us so much. I think she’s being paid by Lelo to leave us bad reviews.”

I’m both insulted and laughing my ass off. Are you fucking kidding me??? Clearly the rep only reads what I write about JJ and never read this post.  They don’t know why I hate the company? Let’s see. OH OH I KNOW. Hmm everything I said in the beginning of this review which of course she read since that’s the product in question that created the entire exchange. Not to mention the fact that I just cannot respect a company that, in earnest, has tried to sell a $35,000 plane ride or a $4,000 bouncy house (to say nothing of the fact that they think people will pay $40 more for gold-plating on the charging contacts). Jimmyjane is a company for the 1%, and I am not1.  Listen, I’m not about to hate a person because they work for a company who puts out products I don’t like. You do you. JJ isn’t making toxic crap; they’re just overcharging like whoa for stuff that isn’t worth the price tag.  But at least have a better line of defense than that. At least TRY, Jimmyjane Rep. Try to defend your product without being totally fucking classless and making me think you’re a really great fit for that company.

 I’m really just a Mouthy Bitch

Here’s the thing. I am a customer, first and foremost. My reviews here are no different than my reviews and opinions on products anywhere else. I’m opinionated and picky. If I hated that batter dispenser I got from Amazon, you better believe I’m going to leave a negative review when it broke after the 4th use. Welcome to the life, folks – there’s shitty companies everywhere trying to make something cheaper and for more profit, customer happiness (and quality) be damned. It’s true in sex toys as much as kitchenware. 

I’m also not a salesperson. I have affiliate links, yes. It’s my way of getting paid for the work I do. I will occasionally review products when there’s no chance at affiliate commission but by and large the affiliate system is a roundabout way of paying for the long hours put into each review and every educational guide. But either way, I’m not going to give a bad review to a product I won’t get affiliate commission for and I won’t give a glowing review to a product just to earn a sale from you. I was once in your shoes, too, unsure where to spend my money. I’ll never purposely steer you wrong.

Any other rumors you’d like me to clear up? :)


  1. To be fair, Lelo is guilty of this crap too, to a degree, with their gold and silver/platinum versions of the Ella and Bob and whatnot….but they didn’t do the bouncy house and plane ride so they’re the lesser of two evils
 Posted by at 4:21 pm
Sep 202014

Earlier this year I ranted on a topic similar to this; many companies have no idea the sort of effort we put into our sex toy reviews. The testing, the photos, the writing, the editing, and even the promoting. For the cheap toys, we’re getting screwed in the conversion if the sex toy is seen as “payment” for the review.  But many of us spend at least half a day’s work time (if we’re comparing this to an hourly full-time job) if not a full day or even MORE than a full work day’s time on our reviews.

So today I saw a post from a blogger, not a sex blogger, talking about fair pay for bloggers. We’re not the only ones doing reviews! During my short time as a food blogger, I was indeed doing some reviewing. Perhaps because I was new, perhaps because that’s how they do it, but I was never sent a retail size product for review. If it was for, say, something that comes 6 per box….I was sent one individual item. I was tempted to review it as “ew yuck, tastes like poo, avoid” and that be that. Compared to the retail value of the sex toys I get? 140 characters for a total review would have been generous.

Regardless, the post is very good and raises some good points. Go read it. I’ll be here. Come back and talk amongst yourselves.

Maybe what I’m doing is fighting for equal pay: equal pay with journalists, critics, columnists.. or just being paid at all. It’s not a perfect proposition, I know that, but something needs to change. My idea has many reasons why it won’t work – but I just feel that it needs to be addressed and we get a conversation going in order to try and start to make a change.

Some points that have already been raised on twitter include integrity of the review/reviewer…..wouldn’t a company only want to pay for a positive review? Would this change how the reviewer talks about the product? Is there a way to get fair pay to bloggers for the hard work of a review without compromising anybody’s integrity? What about a payment to spotlight the review? For some reviewers, they don’t post often so a new post will stay on the homepage awhile. For others, it might scroll by quickly. One option could be that a blogger is paid a special sort of advertising fee for a sidebar banner that leads to the review or the company’s site or extra social media attention to the review maybe. I don’t know. I don’t know how it would work, if it could work, if any company values us enough to do it.

The blogger who wrote this post did a follow-up, and there is one point someone else raised that I found interesting:

Under the heading “Do you get paid for Product Seeding?” her answer was

“…No. Unless you are required to use specific links, post specific verbiage or do specific tasks in relation to the gifting. If you are being sent a product, you are at liberty to post in whatever context on whatever time frame you deem appropriate. If celebrities don’t get paid to wear a pair of jeans, you aren’t either”

Except that….in the sex toy world we are often required to have certain words appear, and appear as links, links that don’t have our affiliate link in them. We’re hounded if we have the product longer than a few months.

Do you agree? Disagree? Retailers and manufacturers, we’d love to hear your thoughts, too. Be anon if you must!

Would you think the blogger is getting fair pay, or would you think they’re less trustworthy?  If you respond on twitter, let’s use their hashtag, shall we? #fairpayforbloggers

 Posted by at 10:15 am
Sep 172014

I’ve spent the majority of my 6+ years not asking to be nominated; I felt it defeated the purpose (in my mind). That if anybody actually liked my work, they’d nominate it without prompt. I’ve since dropped all stubbornness and “pride” and have no fucks left to give about my previous stick-up-my-ass ways.  I am liberated! Or something.

I’m cantankerous, I’m rough around the edges, I’m not all that universally liked. I’m okay with that! I’m proud of the work I do, and if I raise some hackles then I think it means I’m doing my job right. The private notes I receive keep me going, the thanks and tales of change.  And while I’m not a “sexy” blogger anymore and don’t really fit in now with any of these “sexy” sex blogger lists, there’s a new feature that I think I do fit in with. Rory has decided to highlight “posts of the year” and there’s actually two categories that are very much me: Op-Ed and Educational/review.  Of the pieces I’ve written from these categories this year, I think these are the best ones. If you happen to agree, I’d like to ask for your nomination, here. Of course, if there’s something else I wrote that you think is better than these, by all means, ignore my four below. *I* think these are my best, but what do I know :) 

Wood Sex Toys: An Introduction

Despite being probably one of the oldest materials used to make sex toys, wood is one of the most misunderstood. We hear the “splinters” comments a LOT, you guys. A lot. I tried to debunk the myths and figure out the safety aspect.

A Brief History of Sex Blogging

This started out small, but turned into a rambling history filled in by many people across various platforms (and it also sparked controversy and misunderstandings).

How Porous is Your Sex Toy? Why Does it Matter?

There’s a great big gray area in the world of safe sex toys, the porous-but-not-toxic section. Or the porous-and-they-claim-it’s-not-toxic section. So many don’t understand why porosity matters, or that they should stop using the dildo when little black spots start showing up.

The Posh Life of a Sex Toy Reviewer

Most companies don’t have a clue how much work many of us reviewers put into each review, how many hours. We work a lot harder at this than you may realize. Our work is worth more than you realize. And it is work. It is time consuming.


Thanks :) Visit Rori here to nominate your favorite blogger posts.

 Posted by at 5:58 pm
Aug 302014

I’m going to start a new little project, and I can’t do it alone. But hey, it benefits you! 

My reviews here are a good balance of subjective and objective, but sometimes they tip the scales into more subjective. Which is really why I started reviewing in the first place – I had a hard time figuring out if a sex toy was going to work out for me without reading about other people’s experiences. But when I talk about how well a toy did (or didn’t) work out for me, that opinion isn’t going to apply to everyone. Let’s say I couldn’t love a dildo because it’s short; I’m round and not all that flexible, so a short dildo is not going to work for me. But someone else without those issues might absolutely adore that dildo. Another example: the OhMiBod remote control Bluemotion vibrator is something that I’m reluctant to even ask for review, because I know that design won’t work for me and how I’m built.  Since that nub has no prayer of reaching my clitoris, my opinion of how the vibe might work for others could be skewed. 

You get the idea, I’m sure. So basically I want to create a list of other reviewers who review subjectively and who can plonk themselves into little descriptive boxes. I have two ideas for how this will look. The first is a line for each person, and then icons, like the icons SheVibe uses for at-a-glance info on sex toys (if you’re looking at the OMB vibe I linked up there, it’s the icons that let you know if something is anal-safe, rechargeable, waterproof, etc).  Another idea is a table, with names going down the left and attributes going across the top and dots in the boxes. If you have better ideas, please explain them. This is all I could come up with this afternoon. 

Who will qualify for this list? 

  • You should be comfortable with writing negative/critical reviews. If you didn’t like the item, if it didn’t work for you and is bad enough it won’t work for most? Say it. Be critical and note flaws. Make sure people understand what they are spending their money on!
  • You should be committed to reviewing only non-toxic, quality toys. What’s good? TPR, Elastomer, TPE are okay but porous. Same goes for Tenga stuff and Fleshlight. Good is silicone, hard plastic, glass, certain brands of wood, quality metals, coated ceramics, stone.
  • Ideally, your reviews should contain a good amount of subjective discussion and personal experience with the toy, and be well-written.
  • I also want this list to be as broad as possible. I need a good mix of all genders and sexualities.  I need people who live all around the world.  Kinky, vanilla, and everything on the spectrum, please!


It will end up looking like this for each person:

Dangerous Lilly

  • Vibrations: 4
  • Stimulation: 3
  • Size – Vaginal: Width: 4 Length: 5
  • Body: Fat, fuller labia, buried clit
  • Gender: Cis female
  • Disabilites: Reduced strength, mild arthritis, issues with flexibility & reach
  • Orgasm ability without toys: 5
  • Partner reviews: prostate stimulators and masturbators, cismale POV
  • Favorite toys: We-Vibe Tango, Njoy Pure Wand, Je Joue Uma
  • Orgasm preference: Clitoral
  • Keywords: More power; safe sex toys; very picky!

What I’m looking for from others would roughly fit the outline below.  Attempt to be succinct and if something doesn’t apply (you don’t have a vagina, you don’t review anal toys) skip it. 

  • Vibrations: Rank the intensity you prefer/need on a scale from 1 to 5, 5 being the most intense.
  • Stimulation: Pinpoint or broad for external vibrations? 1= super pinpoint, 5=very broad
  • Size – Vaginal: Width and Length, scales below
  • Size – Anal: Width and Length, scales below
  • Body: Again, be brief, use keywords. For me, being fat defines how I use toys. If you’re not? If your body size doesn’t factor in in any special way to how a toy might work out for you? Don’t list it. Include here also whatever details about genitals you’re comfortable sharing. I’m comfortable saying that I have very full outer labia and a small, buried clit. Info like this helps others who are built similarly find someone else built like them. Penises, similar info. (try to limit to 50-70 characters)
  • Gender: List it however you choose, whatever terminology fits for you.
  • Disabilities: Have any? List em if it matters to how toys work for you (try to limit to 50-70 characters)
  • Orgasm ability without toys: Judge as best as you can. Scale listed below. If you have a penis, would this apply less/not at all? If so, don’t need to list it.
  • Partner reviews: If you have a partner who reviews toys that you can’t use, list it. My husband, cis male, reviews penis and prostate toys for my blog. (try to limit to 50-70 characters)
  • Favorite toys: Pick three if you can, but limit it to three
  • Orgasm Preference: Do you have one? List it.
  • Keywords: key words or short phrases that really apply best to you. I’m aiming for 55 characters or less here.


1 to 5, 1 being least intense/smallest/easiest

Orgasm scale – 1 would be it’s easy and consistent, 5 would be it happens never or very rarely & only with much patience. Scale yourself accordingly between those two.

Stimulation – External vibrations. 1= super pinpoint, 5=very broad

Size  scale –

  1.  1.25″ and under
  2. 1.25 – 1.5
  3. 1.5 – 1.75
  4. 1.75 – 2.0
  5. 2.0 +

Size scale – length

  1. 3″ and under
  2. 3″-5″
  3. 5-6″
  4. 6-8″
  5. 8″ or more OR toys with a long handle


UPDATE: I’d like to be able to publish all of this on a page on my blog, but I’d also like to give people the ability to sort and filter. Embedding a spreadsheet from Google Docs doesn’t work within the confines of the post area space, and wouldn’t look right on mobile, so I’ll provide a link to a version of the spreadsheet that’ll be published on the web. Anytime changes are made or people are added, the published sheet will auto-update.

 Posted by at 2:26 pm
Aug 292014

Fun Factory Stronic DreiBeing disappointed by a high-priced much-hyped sex toy that’s seen many positive reviews is nothing new to me. I’m in the extreme minority when it comes to disliking the PalmPower; I’m not one of the legions who would kill for a Mona 2; and I’m not drooling over Vixskin. Yet I was still surprised when I was drastically disappointed in the Fun Factory Stronic Drei. You see, I was hearing words like “thrusting” and “intense” and reading about people basically in love with this line of vibrators–excuse me, pulsators. But when I really finally paid attention to the “thrusting”, I noticed something: The actual “distance” of the movement is no more than 1/2″ at best, and that’s being generous. Add in friction, resistance, etc….and it’s probably only moving 1/8″ of an inch each direction from “start”, if that makes sense.

When I think of thrusting, it’s more ….. well, just more. More depth, more action, more movement. I’d read a reviewer stating that the Stronic mimicked sex, and also Fun Factory states this. Um, no.  It doesn’t. I don’t think most people have that much fine-tuned control over their bodies to only thrust in quarter-inch movements of the penis/dildo.  If I had sex that was this shallow of thrusting, I’d fall asleep. In fact, I damn near did when I used the Stronic Drei. I’m serious. I was trying to concentrate on what I was feeling from it, so that I could better describe it to you. I had no other stimulation going because I wanted to be sure that my g-spot was responding. And I drifted off a little. It lulled me right to dreamland. Maybe this will be my form of meditation! 

Fun Factory Stronic Drei ProfileThe Stronic Drei faces certain movement challenges that the Stronic Eins and Stronic Zwei don’t – the super-textured design creates a lot of drag, in addition to the silicone type. It’s not the silky-smooth LIM type silicone that you’ll see covering most silicone vibrators (like Lelo or Je Joue). You’ll absolutely need lube. It’s also not small in the width department – for a short stint, the tip is ~ 1.25″ but then quickly ramps up to 1.6 or 1.7″ wide.  So maybe, just maybe, I’d have better luck with the Eins or Zwei. But the Drei has that “g-spot hook” that I figured would work better for me. My g-spot is pretty close to my vaginal entrance, and it really prefers upward pressure. Thrusting and stroking will get the job done, but only at a certain angle and level of pressure. I’m not able to get pressure when using the Stronic Drei because well, that would kill the movement.  And since my g-spot is so shallow, 2/3 of the Stronic Drei was not inserted. You’d have to have the whole shaft inserted to have a prayer of that “sword hilt” design reaching your clitoris, as Fun Factory suggests is possible. If you can use this as a dual-stimulation sex toy, then your vulva must be magical.  And according to a study (I assume) Fun Factory claims that 87% of women prefer the pulsator. To what? A dildo? A vibrator? I already knew I’d be in the minority but jeez.  I tried to love it; I attempted many of these positions that Fun Factory suggests for best use of the Stronic, but no dice.

The Stronics move by way of a heavy-duty magnet (health warning: don’t use one if you have a Pacemaker) that jiggles forcefully inside the unit. The slower speeds produce more movement, actually.  And since there’s no vibrating motor, the Stronic is extremely quiet. I just couldn’t find any happy-medium that made my g-spot respond to this thing. I’ve gotta be really honest….if I had spent $200 of my hard-earned money on this, I’d be damn pissed at myself for falling for it.  I’m never going to use this. I really can’t find major flaws with the product itself, the design, or the details….it just doesn’t work for me. It locks for travel; it’s waterproof (submersible!); it’s totally different from anything else on the market; it’s made of safe materials, and is rechargeable; it has a warranty. See? All good stuff. And yet….

This is where I’m torn. Should I recommend it? Clearly, many other people love this. There are reviews all over the blogosphere of people who love their Stronic. I feel a bit validated in hating the Drei because Epiphora dislikes the Stronic Zwei and Drei (but really loves her Eins). I sorta feel like I should try the Eins but….I don’t have sex toy retailers/manufacturers throwing toy review offers at me. I have to be picky about what I ask to review. I’m not about to sacrifice the chance to review two other, maybe three other, sex toys just to try out the Eins. You know I like to be able to compare things, but this time I don’t think it’s going to happen. It took me this long to just get my hands on ONE of the Stronics, I can’t imagine the miracle that would need to occur for me to ever try another.  If you’ve identified with my opinions on other toys; if you think we’re built similarly and respond similarly to stimulation; if the recommendations of mine that you’ve heeded have paid off for you? Then don’t get this. Save your cash and thrust your own dildo.


Thanks to Fun Factory for giving me the chance to try out a Stronic Drei. You can purchase a Stronic Drei, or any of the Stronic line, directly from them; you can also purchase them from my favorite retailer, SheVibe.


If you’ve managed to stumble onto this review without knowing much about the Stronic Drei, or any of the Stronics, you can check out this info pdf from Fun Factory that has all the specs. There’s also a ton of information about each of the Stronics, and their unique attributes, on SheVibe. Just view each item individually to get the full details. I felt that it was more important to tell you about my opinion and experience with this sextoy, than regurgitate the specs and “how it works” info that many people have already posted. 

Aug 012014

The 1st of the month is always a busy blog day for me as I update new sales, especially the new monthly Tantus sales. Lately they’ve been knocking it out of the park with the best sales I’ve ever seen buying direct from a manufacturer – but then, that’s just one of the reasons why I love Tantus so much.

EDIT: FREE SHIPPING OFFER CHANGE: I’d previously reported that everybody could get free shipping just by spending $100. Today, 8/8/14, that has been amended. Free shipping in the U.S is available at the spend-$100 mark, but free International Shipping isn’t available until you spend $200. Although, for Tantus fans, it’s not hard to spend that much. And if you’re a fan of Tantus, I’m sure you already have a wishlist. Some of my favorites include anything O2 but especially the Cush and Flurry; the Black Widow harness; their handled dildos like the Anaconda; their unique silicone paddles….. ok I really could keep going, because I love so much of their stuff. If you can’t narrow it down for yourself, feel free to email me, comment here, message me on Reddit or Tumblr, whatever.

UPDATE!!!!!!!! While the August sale is over, the free shipping is NOT. They’ve decided to keep this offer!


This August, the Vibrating Velvet Harness is the star of the show. Spend $100, and get the harness for free. Spend more, get more.


 Posted by at 11:31 am