Dec 102010

I get a good number of people who contact me for advice on buying a sex toy as a gift for their partner as a surprise. This really isn’t an easy feat unless you and your partner have already owned multiple toys and you know what they like.

Consider the Size

If you’ve never used toys, the judge by the size of your cock of your fingers. And keep in mind that hard materials like plastic, ceramic, glass, wood and metal can seem a little bigger than they are just because there is no give to the material. If you’re new to toys, don’t go overboard with the girth. If you’ve had a few and want to take things up a notch then do so but with caution.

Consider Sensitivity

Hopefully you and your partner are open and communicating, honest about orgasms and how things feel. Unless you already own vibrators that you know are not powerful enough, always choose ones with more than 2 speeds.

Consider the Price and Quality

Sex Toy Snob Warning: For the love of Pete, don’t buy a questionable brand (like CalExotics, for example) as a gift! But on the other hand, don’t drop a huge amount unless you’re pretty certain they’re going to love it. Reviews, reviews, reviews. Read them! Hunt them down! And don’t always go by the 1-liner blurbs directly on the sites because you never know who really left that comment. Before you weigh the prices and think about going for a cheaper jelly toy, read about phthalates and the possible side effects.

Things to avoid

Specifically, I’d advise against things like the We-Vibe, the Sqweel (or however it’s spelled, the one that’s rotating tongues, ick), anything that looks like a human tongue, and new-to-the-scene companies that seem too good to be true (like the Zini Roae). As tempting as they are, avoid wireless remote controlled bullets/panties, as they are fraught with glitches problems and a serious case of the unimpressives.


Glass Dildos Make Great Gifts

Why? Because they appeal visually, and unless you’re an advanced toy user/owner, it’s something new and exciting. You get to experiment with temperature play and different sensations. They can be so artistic sometimes that you’d feel comfortable leaving it out and they are therefore non-threatening to a novice.  They’re pricey, but my favorite currently is the Fucking Sculptures brand, you can find them at SheVibe. Unless you know your partner is a size queen, stick with the Small versions!

Buy a Vibrator that is Multipurpose

And I don’t mean a “rabbit” style. By this I mean get one that doesn’t require you to have your anatomy laid out a certain exact way for it to work, get a vibrator with varying speeds, and one that can be used internally or externally. Stick with silicone and reliable brands (to see more about this, see my post on How to Buy Sex Toys Online). Here’s a few of my recommendations:

The Climax Twist Vibrator

I love this vibrator, it’s probably my favorite rechargeable vibrator. It’s like a massager, but it bends to a 90 degree angle and has two working ends. (review here).



Harmony Bullet Vibrator from EdenFantasys

I love this bullet because it can get me off at any speed due to the type of vibrations – deep and rumbly and lovely. Buy it in black, the issue I talked about it my review with it glowing was only true of the white one (I now own the black).




LELO Mona2 Vibe

With the Mona 2, they increased the vibration strength to appeal to a greater pool of people. It’s not a power tool, but will satisfy most just fine. Great for internal or external.



Want to Wow them? Can you splurge? NJOY.

I don’t care if you get an anal plug, the Pure Wand, the Eleven or the Fun Wand just invest in Njoy. DO IT. You’ll love it. I promise.

Need more?

Read up on how to choose a dildo for beginners and get some recommendations on those. And anything in the Men’s Toys category are ones I’d recommend for a guy in addition to a Tenga Egg as a stocking stuffer.

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