Jun 042010
 

If you’re buying your first dildo, you’re probably unsure where to even begin. Look at any given sex toy retailer site that offers a half-decent selection and you are bound to be overwhelmed at the sheer number of dildos to choose from. Dildos that look like penises, rockets, or nothing at all.  One thing that’s difficult to decide upon when choosing your first dildo (or even insertable vibrator) is size and shape and affordability. After all, you don’t really want to drop $50 or more on a toy you end up hating. And every woman’s body is different, so the toys I love are going to be toys some hate. There are women who just don’t like the Pure Wand. It makes my heart sad, but there you have it.

My first dildos/vibrators were the typical ones chosen by those who are overwhelmed. And also even just 10 years ago silicone and the safer materials weren’t quite as prevalent on the online sex toy shops. I had this hideous jelly vibrator that looked realistic, if by realistic you mean translucent, pink, glittery etc. It had the “realistic shape”. Another was a simple jelly dildo that I never used past the first try or two. Then I chose a typical hard plastic “slim-line” vibrator and while it was mostly sufficient, it did nothing special for me. Avoid my mistakes, people.

Size

Choosing the size for your dildo should depend upon what has already been in your vagina. Think to your most pleasurable sexual experience (solo or partnered) and what felt so good – was it the sensation of fullness, being stretched my something larger? Was it more about the zing of pleasure that came from the head of it stroking your g-spot? Take a look at a ruler. Actually look at how wide 1″, 1.5″, 2″ is on the ruler. If you liked the feeling of fullness, then I’d suggest starting with a 1.5″ at the most. If your focus was on the object/cock hitting a certain feel-good spot, and especially if you’d not had experience with dildos/cocks, go for 1″ or 1.25″ around.

Material

For the love of pete if you’re going to take any advice it’s this: no jelly, no rubber, no PVC, no cyberskin or UR3 or Futorotic or anything like that used in mid-range ultra-realistic dildos (they’re usually painted). They smell funny, they’re not very well made, many of those will have phthalates in them, they’re porous so they can’t ever be shared or fully sanitized unless you’re donning your toys with a condom and they’re just plain ole not worth it.  I’d really like to emphasis silicone. You can find cheaper options that are (usually) non-toxic if you choose TPR/TPE/Elastomer, but these are porous. Why should you care about non-porous vs porous? Why should you spend the money on silicone? Why should you care about brand? In short, pure silicone can last a lifetime with minimal care; porous materials can harbor bacteria, mildew/mold, etc. Porous materials cannot ever be completely clean. They can actually make you sick if enough bad crap is making a home in the pores of the material. If you stick with brands that I and other reviewers trust, you’ll be sure to have a silicone dildo that is actually, truly, pure silicone. 

Silicone comes in various densities and can be somewhat soft, very firm, or squishy. If you decide that the more common, firm silicone isn’t for you, then you’ll want to consider spending the money on a Tantus O2 style or Vixen Vixskin style. Vixskin is a little more plush, but Tantus O2 is a little more affordable.

If you decide you absolutely can’t get silicone right now, at least cover the porous material toys with a condom. You can’t get them fully clean and a condom will protect you and extend the life of your dildo.

Shape and Features

For some reason, a lot of people split off into two very different camps when purchasing their first toys. One side runs to the cutesy child-toy-like items or “incognito” items. The other side will pick the most realistic dildos. Unless you’re going to drop big bucks on a Vixen or Tantus silicone cock, most realistic dildos are made from questionable materials, which means stay away! “Realistic” dildos also usually aren’t very slim.

My suggestion is to go with something simple. The Tantus Silk Small or Tantus Silk Medium are good for beginners. They’re silicone, and so if someday you decide that the Small is too small for your vagina, you can upgrade to a bigger dildo and experiment with anal penetration with the Silk Small. If you think you’d enjoy something that is specifically for the g-spot, try out the Tantus Charmer or even perhaps the Lelo Ella dildo which you can use either end of it. The Doc Johnson Glass Dildos are a newer offering, added after this post originally went live – thin, yet firm and with subtle bumps and a g-spot knob. The Tantus Curve adds a little something extra and is a little wider than most pictured here, at nearly 1.5″ at the widest. The prices listed below are the standard non-sale prices – be sure to check out the links because you’re bound to find any of these on sale at some point on these sites.

Purchasing

Another option is to check in on the Tantus Grab Bag.  If you don’t care about the color of the dildo, you can get a really good price.  One staple that is great for newbies is the Leisure, it has a tapered tip, no texture, and a max diameter of 1.25″. And it’s only $27 + shipping!

I generally advise people to avoid Amazon and Ebay; counterfeit sex toys are definitely a thing, and you could get something that you think is silicone but is not. Some people have had good experiences buying from Amazon, but the risk of getting a fake sex toy is high enough that I advise you to avoid it. Stick with well-known sex toy retailers like Shevibe, Lovehoney1, Pinkcherry, and buying direct from manufacturers like Tantus.

 

Buying Guide

 

berman   
$26.99 $42.99 $23.99 $34.99 $45.99 $49.99
  1. Although please avoid anything they list as “skin-safe rubber”, I take issue with that term since often those items are at the least porous and at the worst possibly toxic
  • http://www.kinkylibrarian.net Nadia West

    This is great. Newbies definitely need this sort of information.

  • http://100waystobeperverse.wordpress.com Janie

    I’m bookmarking this for when I have money!

    xoxox

  • http://ladypandorah.wordpress.com Lady Pandorah

    Really, really useful for beginners and for an ‘Intermediate’ like myself! I’m still getting to grips with dildos/vibrating insertables, so this was great! (No pun intended…or perhaps maybe a lil’ bit!)

    Agree with NW, this needs to be circulated!

    LP x

    ~ thank you :)

  • http://ladypandorah.wordpress.com Lady Pandorah

    Oh dear. Looking back at that – too many exclamations….

    ~ LOL that’s ok, your excitement is stroking my ego ;)