Jul 022018
 

Womanizer Starlet in purple against a wood backgroundAs soon as I received the Womanizer Starlet from SheVibe I immediately wondered if somewhere in the marketing meetings there was a mix-up over at the company making Womanizer products and the ‘Starlet’ name was supposed to go to the large lipstick look-alike version. The classic red lipstick evokes Hollywood and glamour and feminine ways, all things that I think of when I hear the word ‘starlet’. The Womanizer 2GO is hailed as the travel version yet it’s comically large where the Starlet is comically small and can be compared, size-wise, to the Satisfyer Pro Traveler.

When I first read about the Womanizer Starlet I was intrigued and happy – finally, a Womanizer product under $100! But would the Starlet retain all of the features I’ve loved in the Womanizer brand? For a long time, despite the gendered name, I have been steadfast with preferring the Womanizer brand due to the build quality, the motor, and the features – features like the up/down/off buttons, long battery run, better head/nozzle, good range of intensity. I knew that the name, and the price, was such a big deterrent but I had good reasons. At this point, especially after hearing strong rumors that the (much better) Womanizer Pro40 is being phased out with the Starlet being kept as the “affordable option”, I’m losing my loyalty to this brand. Fair warning!

Showing size difference between Womanizer 2GO, Womanizer Starlet and Satisfyer Pro Travel

How the Womanizer Starlet is Different

Have you ever seen what is done to a drag race car to make it more lightweight therefore giving it more speed? They gut it. Seats? Bah. Who needs ’em. That’s kinda what they’ve done with the Starlet. They took away the thing I’ve loved about the Womanizer models – the buttons. The Starlet has just one button to do it all. I notoriously like being able to skip around up and down the settings as I need more intensity, then less, then way less, and suddenly more more whoa nelly stop and back to level 1. Can’t do that with one button. They also nerfed the battery life, giving you a mere 30 minutes run time.

Another aspect I’ve loved is that the Womanizer models – at least the Pro40, W100, Pro 500, and Plus – had lower-intensity levels. The sensation you get from Womanizer and Satisfyer pressure wave air products kinda almost requires an easing-in. Every model that just jumps straight to serious intensity has been too intense for me. The Womanizer Starlet, having only 4 settings, kicks things off in high gear and it’s too high for me.

To save space and money they also did away with the wider-opening head. Sure, you can buy it yourself but it’s not included.

And a feature that has never mattered to me personally, the waterproofness, has been nerfed to just “splashproof” – no underwater playtime with the Starlet.

Showing the difference in the nozzle and body of the Womanizer Starlet vs Satisfyer Pro Travel

What I Like

I like to masturbate at my desk, often, pants on and everything. All the other Womanizer models made this difficult due to the elongated handles. The Womanizer Starlet makes this possible. It also makes it possible to tuck into a pair of snug panties while laying down and let it do its thing, hands-free.  Could this also mean that the Starlet is easier to use during partnered sex? I can see that, yes. But I feel like the intensity of it combined with stimulation from my partner would put a serious expedite on my orgasm – which can be good or bad.

Laying down in bed my use is more limited. My reach and flexibility makes using this while laying down a little bit tricky. Luckily the single-button placement is at least in the best spot – the side opposite the nozzle, the side away from your body, so the button isn’t buried in my labia the way it is with the Satisfyer Pro Traveler

I also like the micro-USB charging cable. They started off with that style in the original model and the Pro 500 but lost it in the Plus and Pro40. If everything could be micro-USB cable compatible, multiple-vibrator owners would be SO happy.

Unlike the 2GO, the Womanizer Starlet feels much more travel-friendly. I don’t need a plastic cap to pretend something is travel-friendly. The tiny size of the Starlet means it’ll fit in an array of little satin pouches alongside the small USB cable.

 

What I Dislike

Everything I loved about the length of the Plus is lost in the Womanizer Starlet. Every feature I love in the Pro40 is gone from the Starlet. Honestly the Womanizer Starlet feels like a good idea that needs a little more time and work. It’s overpriced for what you get. Fewer settings, fewer controls, no extra head for different sensations/bodies, lack of waterproofness. It does also seem to be a little more noisy than its higher-priced siblings, which doesn’t surprise me. And the battery life? YIKES. I can get many sessions from the other Womanizer products but not the Starlet. Battery life on the Starlet is a meager 30 minutes – but charge time is also only 30 minutes.

As noted above they took away my favorite features like lower intensity levels and multiple control buttons – these are features that made me pick the Womanizer. I had had high hopes for a $79 Womanizer but instead, I think I’m going to recommend the newest Satisfyer Pro 2  – the Next Gen model finally brings in extra buttons to their flagship model! Satisfyer still lacks the dual head sizes, and I do still prefer the style of the Womanizer head but when given the chance during testing to use the Womanizer Starlet or the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Gen? I picked the Pro 2. And it’s currently $15 less than the Womanizer Starlet (but lacks a warranty). If you can afford to spend a bit more money then my pick is the Womanizer Pro40 or Plus if you’re flush with cash however rumors as of this writing are that Womanizer is yet again toying with discontinuing the Pro40 to leave the Starlet function as their “lower cost” option and rake is as much as possible from the overpriced upper models. To be honest this decision might be the thing that brings down my Berlin wall of approval between Womanizer and Satisfyer.

The dictionary defines ‘starlet’ as “a young actress with aspirations to become a star” and I feel like that is pretty accurate – the Womanizer Starlet has aspirations but probably isn’t ever going to become the star of the lineup.

 

Thanks to SheVibe for sending me the Womanizer Starlet in exchange for my honest review!

Apr 032018
 

Black Lelo Sona Cruise on a gray knit backgroundYears ago I swore I’d never review another Lelo sex toy, but my commitment to trying most of the Womanizer and Satisfyer toys meant that I had to try the Lelo Sona Cruise, much to my dismay. For now, I can’t compare the Lelo Sona Cruise to the regular Sona but I feel like my assessment of the Sona Cruise is going to be enough and I really don’t want to go through the rigors of testing two of these horror shows. I’ve disliked my experience from first to last.

I was so extremely skeptical of Lelo’s claim to be doing the pressure air technology different – by incorporating sonic waves, aka sound waves – that I had to feel it for myself. Let me be clear, though: I still don’t support Lelo and I never will – I broke up with them years ago and my decision has been reinforced by their marketing choices and that terrible, troubling condom. I 100% feel that you can get an equal or better identical product by choosing Womanizer or Satisfyer over the Lelo Sona or Sona Cruise. Yet I’m still spending nearly 2,000 words talking about an inferior product that has made some people bleed because I’m thorough, damn it.

The Lelo Sona Cruise is…Sonic?

EffinBirds: "I read some shit on the internet, I'm an expert now" Lelo’s ad copy says: “SONA Cruise is a sonic clitoral massager. That means it doesn’t rely on vibrations like a conventional sex toy. Instead, it uses sonic waves and pulses to stimulate the entire clitoris – not just the external part you can see and touch.” 

I’m side-eyeing that real hard, folx. They’re right on one thing, it’s not relying on vibrations. Neither does the Womanizer brand or Satisfyer brand of pressure air pulsators. So basically Lelo is claiming to use SOUND. 

Yes, there is sound – there’s always sound. But I can see and feel the little fluttering gizmo that is producing the air pulse sensations, and it is just like the Womanizer and Satisfyer models. Do they feel the same? Mostly, yes. I think that the Lelo Sona Cruise is more intense right off the bat (not a great thing in my book) but I believe it’s because there’s less physical space between the fluttering motor and the point of clitoral contact. The nozzle is also thinner inside in width than most Womanizer and Satisfyer models; I noticed that that aspect also leads to a more intense sensation, like I saw in the Womanizer 2GO. For comparison, the inside width of the Lelo Sona Cruise nozzle is .454 inches or 11.53 mm, and it is circular – the smallest width of the oval Womanizer nozzle is 12.3mm.

Despite their “sonic” claims I cannot feel any discernible difference, other than initial intensity, from Womanizer and Satisfyer models. Yes, due to designs there is varying sensation between all of the Womanizer and Satisfyer models — some more intense, some less, some more thuddy, some more shallow/buzzy. A few people have reported to me that the Sona worked for them where a Womanizer or Satisfyer did not, but I don’t know why – maybe it’s an intensity thing? So yes, the short distance and narrow opening means the Lelo Sona Cruise is more intense right away compared to some other models, but I do not think it feels different enough to warrant the “sonic waves” claim.

What is this Cruise Control Bullshit?

EffinBirds: "Come back when you get your shit together"“Specially developed by LELO and exclusive to SONA, Cruise Control is a feature that reserves 20% of SONA’s full power during normal use, so that when SONA is pressed hard against the body and the motor begins to drop power, that extra 20% is unleashed so that there’s no reduction of intensity. It’s not a setting, it’s completely automatic, and it eliminates the single most common complaint against pleasure products.”

That…..It’s….That is not a Thing That Happens in these types of sex toys. I’ve never experienced a drop in motor power if I pressed a Womanizer or Satisfyer harder against my vulva. Not once. Yes, it feels different and maybe a little less intense but that’s not what they’re saying here. They’re saying specifically the motor drops power. Typical to Lelo’s infuriatin marketing tactics over the last 5 years they are inventing problems that don’t exist and then “solving” them. Yes, a traditional vibrator will see a power decrease as more pressure is applied but we’ve already established that this is not a vibrator. 

In practice the Cruise Control is simply infuriating and reminds me of the problematic Smart Wand’s “SenseTouch” which would supposedly increase the vibration the harder you pressed, except that many users found it would act erratically. I experienced that same erract behavior when using the Lelo Sona Cruise – sometimes it would seem to increase, and sometimes it would decrease. Sometimes the increase wouldn’t stop even when it was literally not touching my vulva, when I had it just hovering over my clitoris because the sensations were too intense.

Cruise Control is trash, for me. I don’t want to guess at the intensity level I’ll get – I want to have control over it. That’s why there are various intensity levels! Pick the one you want! I want it to stay at a lower intensity on the lower levels until I’m ready for something more. I’m actually laughing at the disparity in their name choice for this “feature”.  Cruise control in a car means you maintain the same speed so congratulations for naming it like you’re in Bizarro World.

I would hate the Lelo Sona about 20% less because it lacks the useless, horrible Cruise Control. So if you must, just get the regular Lelo Sona. But, I mean, still don’t get the Lelo Sona.

Patterns? What Fresh Hell is This?????

EffinBirds: "You are not capable of producing a useful result"Patterns. They’re controversial but most people don’t like them. They are the bane of my existence, they are the thing I almost always accidentally turn on and then frantically try to reverse. Patterns are what I only resort to if I’m trying to fool my clitoris into thinking the vibrations are more rumbly or more intense than they are, and it nearly never works out for me.

The Lelo Sona Cruise buttons are closely-aligned and difficult to distinguish by touch alone. Given how un-ergonomic I feel the entire design is, combined with the diminuitive size I hate, I’m usually pushing the wrong buttons. Entering into patterns on a pressure air sex toy, one that is already intense, is akin to that burst of pain you feel when you consume a hot or cold liquid and you have dental pain. That sharp, wrong-feeling, nerve-zapping makeitstoppppp feeling is what I felt any time I accidentally went into patterns.

To be honest, this feature alone would be enough to make me never pick up the Lelo Sona Cruise again, but wait…there’s more.

It’s Painful

The Lelo Sona Cruise caused me pain in two unexpected ways. The first was while holding it. It’s a combination of the size, the button placement, and the weird way the body of it bends away from you where the controls are. Every press of the button would rock the nozzle away from my vulva so I needed to keep an anchor on it by pressing my fingers around the back, and lower. It is awkward to hold in ways that straight-bodied models like the Pro40 or Satisfyer Pro 2 are not. I would actually rather use the potato with the pokey button, aka the Womanizer Pro 500 Deluxe Whatever They’re Calling It now.

The second way the Lelo Sona Cruise is painful to me took some time to figure out, and I may not have understood what was happening without Aurora asking me specifically if I’d ever heard of anybody bleeding after use. By the time she asked me I’d forgotton about this thread on Reddit where multiple people reported bleeding after use, and a few others on Twitter mentioned bleeding1. I can’t say that it made me bleed because I never paid attention (and didn’t know what was happening at the time) but I know that it cut my vulva a bit or irritated it to the point of localized pain. The last few times I used the Sona I had to pee shortly after and noticed that when I wiped, it hurt. Like an open cut. It wasn’t excruciating so I ignored it. I didn’t connect the two facts until I used it again after Aurora’s question and it hit me.

EffinBirds: "Our expectations for you were low, but holy fuck"The culprit is the short distance between the exterior opening of the nozzle and the “flappy bit” motor inside the nozzle that causes the air pulsation. No other pressure-wave sex toy has this short of a distance – not even the smallest Satisfyer or the smallest Womanizer. There is, without a doubt, a short enough distance between the edge of the nozzle of the Lelo Sona Cruise and the motor to allow a clitoris or labia to come into contact with semi-moving parts. I say “semi-moving” because there is a squishy skin-like membrane over the flappy bit. It’s not like there are sharp edges but it is enough to cause irritation to my vulva/clitoris.

How short of a distance? When the motor is on, the distance is halved; if I insert my pinky finger then it’s just equal to the distance between the tip of my finger and the base of my nail bed aka 7.8mm or .3 inches. That’s it.

This is ridiculous.

How the Lelo Sona Cruise Compares to Other Brands

Effinbirds: "Basically you're fucking incompetent"Given Lelo’s penchant for drastically overpricing everything they sell I’m absolutely shocked that the most expensive Sona is still considerably less expensive than the Womanizer brand. That said even though I strongly prefer and recommend the Womanizer brand over the Satisfyer brand I still would rather see you get a Satisfyer than a Lelo Sona.

Unlike the Womanizer and Satisfyer products, the Lelo Sona Cruise does not have a removable silicone nozzle for easier cleaning. Yes, this means that the Lelo Sona is covered in silicone (except for the large plastic plate on the backside) but it’s not a “good feature” to me. Unlike most Womanizer models the Lelo Sona Cruise has only one opening size and that opening is pretty small. This is not a sex toy for larger clits but given it’s penchant for cutting up smaller clits, it’s not for those either. It’s for NO clit.

When we talk about the pressure-wave air stimulators we have to talk about the noise level because despite not having a vibrating motor, these can still get kinda noisy. Lelo would, of course, have you believe that theirs is superior: “It’s quiet and restrained – perfect for users who need discretion.” Strangely, unlike most other models, the Lelo Sona Cruise gets much more noisy when the nozzle is covered. With most Womanizer and Satisfyer models they are a little noisy until they come in full contact with your vulva, then they are extremely quiet. Check out the Instagram video to hear the strange noises it makes. Also note the sounds you hear after I remove my thumb from the nozzle, you can hear the motor stepping back down in strength.

You’ll get much less use time out of the Lelo Sona Cruise, as well. Nearly all of the Satisfyer models give you 2 hours, and many Womanizer models boast use times of up to 4 hours on a single charge. Womanizer also gives a better warranty – 2 Years to Lelo’s 1 Year.  I’m not adding the Sona specs to the Womanizer vs Satisfyer guide spreadsheet but you can see how they compare.   

I can’t recommend the Lelo Sona Cruise, at all. I hate every single thing about it and feel that nearly any model of Womanizer or Satisfyer pressure air sex toys is equally as good or better. 

 

Much thanks to SheVibe for providing me with a Lelo Sona Cruise in exchange for my honest review!                                                                                                                                                              

 

  1. Check out Amber’s review too
Jun 202017
 

Womanizer Plus SizeThe Womanizer Plus Size information was up on the Womanizer website for months before I could get my hands on it, but I was excited – a sex toy designed for plus size people?? Could it be?? When I noted last month that the Womanizer Plus Size marketing campaign seemed to be a bit light on “plus size” people a rep for Womanizer made it sound like they weren’t interested in this being something specifically for plus size people1 and in fact the “name is wrong on the site” (i.e. they’re changing a product name after the fact, again) and it’s just going to be called the Womanizer Plus – actually, it’s been styled as Plus (+) which is utter horseshit for SEO. The “Size” is referring to the literal size of the product – it’s longer. I’m pissed about a lot of this, but I’ve already ranted about it.

So yeah – I waited with excited anticipation for months, sure that this would be my favorite Womanizer model. My excitement was dampened a lot when I found out the price would be the same as their high-priced Deluxe / W500 model$219 at SheVibe. Yes I love the Womanizer tech, but, that price is fucking ridiculous.

Womanizer Plus Size Design

I love the longer handle of the Womanizer Plus. LOVE. LOVE. It’s almost perfect. It brings the buttons within easier reach  – most of them.  The buttons you’ll use the most often, the increase and decrease intensity buttons, those are up at the tip of the handle and within easy reach. But if you’ve read my other reviews you’ll remember that Womanizer has had a feature I’ve used extensively – the ability to hit the power button once to quickly bring the intensity back down to the lowest level which allows me to leave the Womanizer in place during orgasm – and even continue using it for a second orgasm without stopping. With the Womanizer Plus Size this feature is mostly useless for me because the power button is placed all the way down at the head – practically out of reach for me. It’s the dumbest design and damn near ruins it.

Womanizer Plus Size vs Womanizer Pro40 vs Womanizer Deluxe W500

Womanizer Plus Motor and Intensity

12 Levels! I worried about this at first – the upper levels are already so incredibly intense!! But instead they’ve added more levels at the lower end. I thought that I was having an off day because I needed to quickly  increase the intensity a lot more levels than I usually can tolerate!

I can’t figure out what the difference could be chalked up to but the sensations feel different. All other Womanizer models that came before it – PRO40, W100, W500/Deluxe – have lower levels that feel gloriously “thuddy” – it’s like a ghost tapping your clitoris2. You could feel each puff of air and it was amazing. But the Womanizer Plus Size feels lighter, less intense and maybe slightly…buzzy? It’s not as annoying as the Satisfyer motor but the change means it takes me longer to get off with the Womanizer Plus Size than with the Womanizer Pro40. I actually prefer the motor on the Pro40.

I still like the Womanizer Plus Size motor over the Satisfyer motor, though. I think that folks who may worry that the intensity could be too much for them should consider this model over other models.

What Else?

The Womanizer Plus Size does come with an additional head, the larger size, like most models do. It also includes a simple drawstring storage pouch. It’s USB-rechargeable but requires a less common charging cable – unlike other versions which are micro-USB ports. This means I have to keep track of another cable.

Looks-wise it’s a more “elegant” design but the overall construction doesn’t feel like a $200+ sex toy – the seams between the plastic pieces, for example. The fact that there’s no travel-lock – or even just low-level accidental-turn-on barriers like requiring a longer press of the power button – also irritates me for the price.

The Good News: That 30-day money-back guarantee that Womanizer has had since the early days does apply to the Womanizer Plus Size – and of course there is a warranty.

Womanizer Plus Size vs Womanizer Pro40Despite how much I love the added length of the Womanizer Plus Size handle I still have to choose the Womanizer Pro40 as my favorite model. I wasn’t expecting that. If the power button on the Plus Size were not down at the head, maybe I’d feel different but I have to go with overall comfort and ergonomics and that makes me lean to the Pro40. Combine that with the better motor and Pro40 having a more manageable retail price, and the choice seems obvious to me. The difference between the two motors is minor, but enough – you’ll only know this if you have them to compare, of course. If you have been waiting for a more accessible (in use if not price) version of the Womanizer and don’t care about the placement of the power button like I do, the Plus could be the one for you. If you can’t bring yourself to spend that kind of dough, however, catch the Womanizer Pro40 when it’s in stock at SheVibe – it seems to be so popular that they’re frequently waiting on new stock! Even with the recent price hike from $99 to $129, the Womanizer Pro40 is much more reasonably priced.

 

Thanks to SheVibe for sending me the Womanizer Plus Size in exchange for my honest review!

Wondering how the Womanizer Plus Size compares to the other “pressure wave” sex toys and other Womanizer models? Check out the Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison Guide.

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  1. He claims that their marketing uses “all shapes and sizes” when in fact they do not – there are literally only 2 images of very slightly plus-size folks in ANY of their marketing, and those people appear on the page for the Plus Size. They also seem to use exclusively white folks, as far as I can tell. If I’m being generous I may assume there’s a Latinx in there or two
  2. No, I have never had a ghost tap my clitoris. I’m not sure where I pulled this extremely strange analogy from but I’m sticking to it for reasons I also cannot explain
Feb 052017
 

Satisfyer Pro PenguinThe Satisfyer Pro Penguin is cute, I can’t deny it. It could be considered the most “femme” of all the Satisfyer designs, and it’s also the smallest. As I write the reviews on the Satisfyer models, and see others rate the Pro Penguin favorably, I wonder if I’m perhaps being too picky. And then I realize it’s coming from a place of having tried, and loved, a brand that simply did a much better job all around. Try as I might I cannot erase the comparisons from my brain and judge the Pro Penguin on its own merits, or faults. I’m doing my best, though. For a quick n dirty pro/con list and comparison vs other models, scroll down. For an in-depth (maybe too in-depth?) comparison guide complete with detailed specs chart, visit the Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison Guide (which will be updated to show the new models no later than 2.7.17)

Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison Guide photo

Strange Buttons, Strange Body

The Satisfyer Pro Penguin adds in a useless power button piggybacking on the same silicone button carriage as the intensity button; Satisfyer 1 and Pro Deluxe have a single button, whereas Pro 2 has separate power and intensity buttons and 2 has power as well as two intensity navigation buttons. It makes it hard to figure out where to press with the Pro Penguin when you’re not paying attention. It requires a long, firm button press to turn it off – terrible for when you need to turn the thing off NOW NOW NOW and don’t want to remove it from your vulva while it’s on thereby increasing the noise level. Another small gripe I have is about the body design: all other Satisyfer models, and Womanizer models, have a nozzle head that is basically at a right angle from the handle. With the Satisfyer Pro Penguin, the angle is less severe; meaning that the toy body is angled somewhat more away from your body. At least the power button is on the front side and closer to the end, so it’s not a total game-ruining design. But between the small nozzle head and strange angle I find I have a harder time keeping full contact over my clitoris with the Satisfyer Pro Penguin versus other models that have a big, wide silicone nozzle – the Satisfyer 1, Pro 2, and all Womanizers.

If the motor and nozzle head were more to my liking, I’d recommend the Satisfyer Pro Penguin for folks who prefer to masturbate sitting up; the small body and strange angle actually make it work for those situations. When I’m using the larger items like Womanizer PRO40 or Satisfyer Pro 2 I get the best results if I’m laying down or mostly reclined.

Penguin also has the same, glowing LED button as the Satisfyer 1 and Pro Deluxe, but it doesn’t have that strange, tech-y green glow inside. Maybe you want your sex toys to have that 1980’s glow, I don’t know. There’s also something … interesting to note about the brightly glowing power button on the Penguin – the Penguin is the only model with a button on what I call the “front side” of the body – the side facing your body. If you are a slender person using the Satisfyer Pro Penguin in the dark, well, you may be blinded by the light. Or at least give a really good scare to someone who may walk in on you using the Penguin in the dark, as your face will be lit up from below like you’re telling a scary campfire story about a rogue arm scratching the car roof.

Terrible Nozzle Head

Penguin is small, travel-friendly, and rechargeable but shares a flaw with the Satisfyer Pro Deluxe: a tiny, easy-to-lose and easy-to-displace silicone nozzle head. If you lose the silicone nozzle on these, they will be extremely uncomfortable to use. I know because I tried – well, “tried” indicates I did it on purpose. I didn’t. By the time I slid the Penguin in my pants the silicone nozzle was displaced and I spent 10 minutes wondering why it was so pinchy.  Also: the nozzle opening is square. Why. There’s nothing angular or square about my vulva. Also also: if the nozzle comes off you will need light and two non-slippery hands to get the nozzle back in place. It only fits in correctly one way, like a puzzle piece, but it may take you a few tries to get everything lined up. With the Womanizer heads, or the Satisfyer 1, 2, or Pro 2, it’s a lot easier. I can’t tell you how many times the silicone nozzle head has come off; it’s become my largest gripe about the Pro Penguin.

Satisfyer Pro Penguin and Pro Deluze have very tiny silicone nozzles, shown in the photo each on one of my fingers

Another factor about the short-canal and tiny-nozzle-head thing: you’ll have to clean the inside of the nozzle more often, and it’ll be difficult. When I use the Womanizers, the nozzle head is more than just the external portion. The canal of the nozzle offers protection of the unit meaning I only have had to remove the silicone nozzle and clean that, versus cleaning the entire inside of the thing.

Nozzle head measurements (and measurements of everything else) will be updated in the Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison page. (don’t go there yet, though, I’ll update the table & guide in a day or so)

Satisfyer Pro Penguin Motor

So you want to know how it FEELS, right? All of these nuisances during use and whining about design aside, I still have to tell you about the motor. I’ll be honest, I assumed at first that they would all feel the same. And figuring out how they all feel relative to each other is damn difficult – they feel best when you’re aroused, but then you’re aroused and maybe can’t get to test each one before you’re about to orgasm. For me to really get the best idea of how one compares to another I had to quickly swap them out. This means I either leave them all running at once, next to me on the bed, or deal with my clit’s short-term memory. Since having them all running on low at the same time sounded like a herd of idling motorcycles, I had to nix that idea. Anyways…

I’d say the Pro Penguin compares best with the original Womanizer W100 in terms of intensity. The Satisfyer 2 and Pro 2 are much more intense, and the Satisfyer 1 is a little more intense.

I think I may have cracked a code; I think that the smaller/shorter the nozzle head, the less intense the overall sensations will be. The longer, larger heads give you more “tapping” sensations and discernible pulses of pressure-air whereas the smaller and shorter heads have less oomph and waves. And while the motor of the Pro Penguin is similar in intensity to the Womanizer W100, the addition of a few upper intensity levels surpass the much-loved “thumping” and “tapping” and “waves” sensations and just move straight into something that mimics a buzzy vibrator – pretty much like every other Satisfyer model.

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A lot of folks want to know if I’d recommend the much cheaper ($55) Satisfyer Pro Penguin over the Womanizer PRO40 ($99), and I can’t in comparison. It’s cute and small, and many may like it aesthetically over the other Satisfyer models or pretty much any Womanizer. Penguin isn’t the worst you can do, but the flaws I’ve found are deal-breakers for me and I probably won’t ever reach for this one on my own. If I were forced to pick Satisfyers to recommend overall I’d pick the Satisfyer Pro 2 for it’s comfortable head, despite it’s noise and awkward buttons. Then the Satisfyer 2 for the intensity navigation buttons, and finally the Satisfyer 1 for the newbie pick. None of these stack up to the Womanizer PRO40 but as of this writing the PRO40 has been out of stock at nearly every retailer and I’m not sure when it’s coming back.

Stick around, the reviews on Satisfyer products will be coming at you quickly, and then Comparison Guide will also be updated this week!

tl:dr: Yay: Cute, small, rechargeable Meh: Brightly glowing LED button; not as “thuddy” or intense as other models Nay: Crappy button; strange angle of head to body; tiny silicone nozzle that comes loose easily

Better than: Satisfyer Pro Deluxe, Womanizer Deluxe Pro (W500)
Worse than: Womanizer PRO40, Satisyfer Pro 2, Satisfyer 1, Satisfyer 2
On Par with: Womanizer W100

 

Thanks to Shevibe for sending me the Satisfyer Pro Penguin in exchange for my honest review. There are many retailers you can shop with but I recommend Shevibe over them all; they have the best customer service and overall pricing/selection. They’ve been in business for over 10 years and can be relied upon for discreet shipping!

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Womanizer PRO40 Review

 External Vibrator, Pressure Wave, Reviews, Sex Toys  Comments Off on Womanizer PRO40 Review
Dec 012016
 

Womanizer PRO40The Womanizer PRO40 is practically perfect in every way. Until recently, Womanizer remained an overpriced, luxury item. When you get it in your hands it doesn’t feel quite as well-made as some brands. It lacks the pretty, “classic”, refined beauty that has drawn people to Lelo, L’amourose, Je Joue etc. And while $99 (sadly increased to $129 months after this review published – the manufacturer got greedy) for the new Womanizer PRO40 still is considered luxury, out-of-reach pricing to many, it’s a bit more attainable than $219 for the Womanizer Deluxe.  The Womanizer PRO40 is clearly epi24’s answer to the sales lost to the cheaper Satisfyer models.

The Womanizer PRO40 is not overtly feminine, thank god, and is in fact pretty damn plain. Trans or gender-neutral folks can feel a type of dysphoria when they’re forced to use overtly feminine designs, so this isn’t just a concern of color and “ugh, pink again”. While very femme folks may find that even the magenta-and-white PRO40 isn’t pretty/cute enough, I kinda think the design is a happy-medium especially when the superior features exist.

Superior Features

Somehow the Womanizer PRO40 gained a feature (it’s now waterproof, like Satisfyer) AND is priced much less. How is this possible? Well the motor is a little louder; they’ve gone with a cheaper motor that still performs well, but is less refined, I guess.  It may still be more expensive, but the PRO40 has the features that keep me coming back to Womanizer – comfortable nozzle heads, intuitive designs, and better navigation buttons. The PRO40 combines the best of the W100 (body, button placement) with the best of the W500 (extra power for those who need it, and up/down level navigation buttons), adds in waterproofing and takes away cost. I’m happy to have a slightly louder motor in exchange.

The lowest two settings on the Womanizers are subtle and arousing. They feel really good, and aren’t necessarily trying to yank an orgasm out of you. In fact the lower settings on the Womanizers are really great warm-up toys, and can build arousal in me in ways that the Fiera never could. Have I mentioned the buttons? Oh the buttons. You can easily toggle between lower and higher settings. I like to draw things out with the Womanizer (usually) because it feels so nice; so I don’t want to rush, I want to keep edging my orgasm. I can start out at 1 until I find some good porn; increase to 2 when I’m more aroused; tip it up to 3 to get the ball rolling; back down to 2 for a minute to keep things going. Up to 4 to pick up the pace; 3 then 2 then back up to 4 and maybe 5 if I need a boost and want to come. It’s the sex toy version of Monica’s ergoneous zones playlist.  I cannot do that with any Satisfyer model except the Satisfyer 2, which pales in comparison to Womanizer PRO40.

Magical Power Button

Another crucial feature that Womanizer PRO40 has is the power button: I can quickly return to the lowest setting; perfect for just after orgasm. To turn it off you would press and hold the power button, but while it’s on a quick tap will bring you down to level 1. Level 1 is tolerably intense in those sensitive moments just after orgasm, but allows me to actually keep going and have multiple orgasms. I can’t do that with the Satisfyer models because I’d have to turn it off completely (and then back on, obviously) to get back down to the “gentle” first setting (not all Satisfyer models have a gentle first setting). The way I use these products, the power button feature on the Womanizer PRO40, and indeed all models, is something I can’t give up.

The Womanizer PRO40 does come with their two nozzle heads, one of which has a slightly bigger opening. All Womanizer nozzle heads fit on snugly and stay put, and are very comfortable against the vulva. I’ve found that the nozzle head preference doesn’t always correlate to clitoris head size, but also to labia size/style.

If you’d like to read more in-depth about my feelings on the Womanizer toys overall, I’ll direct you to my review for the original, W100. Sadly I think it has just recently been discontinued.  If you’re curious about how the Womanizer PRO40 compares to other pressure-wave toys, visit the Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison guide.

Even though the Womanizer Pro 40 is a little louder vs W100 or W500, it’s now my top recommendation over every brand and model of pressure-wave sex toys. This remains even more accurate after trying every Satisfyer model on the market.

 

Thanks to Shevibe for sending me the Womanizer PRO40 in exchange for my honest review. There are many retailers you can shop with but I recommend Shevibe over them all; they have the best customer service and overall pricing/selection. They’ve been in business for over 10 years and can be relied upon for discreet shipping!

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Nov 062016
 

Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison

The Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison Guide

This thing has taken on a life of its own as I polled folks for the comparison info they most wanted to see. This meant that the once-tidy-and-small comparison chart has grown to monster proportions. Below you’ll find a small graphic of the chart; click to see it full-size. If you need to see the text Excel spreadsheet, visually-impaired readers can comment here or contact me and I’ll send it to you. If you’re curious on what some of the measurements mean you can just ask me or see the incredibly bad drawing at the bottom of the post.

The chart provides a large amount of quantifiable data and a few subjective opinions. The brief product overviews below provide more insight into my personal opinions on each item, while the full reviews hold back nothing (naturally). A lot of you want to know which product(s) I’d recommend the most and, as usual, my answer starts with “it depends…”.

If you…

  • Want to use yours in the bathtub OR care about buying a product that was well-made: Womanizer PRO40 or Womanizer Plus Size
  • Have certain mobility issues, flexibility issues, grip issues, or a larger body: Womanizer PRO40 has the best button placement but the Womanizer Plus Size is much longer
  • Are curious about the tech and wonder if it’ll work for you: Satisfyer 1 is cheap enough to test, get you by for a few months & then upgrade if you want
  • Agree that intensity navigation is important but can’t afford the Womanizer PRO40: Satisfyer 2 is your only option
  • Don’t have grip issues, don’t have small hands, and want the best quality: Womanizer Deluxe (W500) is the top pick for many
  • Prefer rechargeables, but can’t afford the PRO40: Satisfyer Pro 2 is the only Satisfyer I’ll recommend now
  • Care about supporting an ethical company: Womanizer PRO40, Womanizer Plus Size, Womanizer 2GO and Womanizer Deluxe (W500). For more info, read all the way through.
  • So far seem to have a definite preference for wands vs pinpoint stim: Buy a Doxy.
  • Like pinpoint stimulation but have a notoriously picky clitoris, and prefer rumbles: Womanizer PRO40. Satisfyers can feel too buzzy!

For quite some time I regarded the Womanizer with a healthy dose of side-eye; I was quite sure that it wouldn’t work for me. I remained skeptical of the many glowing reviews. When you’ve been reviewing sex toys for 8 years, you can often get a really good feel for the facts just by reading a handful of reviews. But the Womanizer shocked me – in fact, it left me speechless. It took me months to write my first Womanizer review because I felt like I couldn’t explain why I liked it or who else might like it (or hate it). I felt that the price of the Womanizer W100 was too much when I couldn’t confidently tell someone they would like it if they like X Y and Z. So for all of my issues with the build quality and company ethics of Satisyfer, I have to appreciate models like the Satisfyer 1 for their sheer affordability.

A Note on Suction: And this applies to every Satisfyer and Womanizer pressure-wave toy on the market: These seem to have very little actual suction. Suction can be great for bringing in extra blood flow to the genitals, and there are vulva/clitoral pumps for that purpose (or that awful pre-arousal thing, Fiera) – so I don’t want folks expecting any appreciable suction with these toys. I’ve been told by Womanizer there is no vacuum/suction, instead, the technology is “pressurized air pulses”. Yes, despite what parts of their site say and many other sites say, I asked and they responded. It may mimic the feeling of suction to a small degree, perhaps. I was able to see this better with these Satisfyer models, as shown in this video. There’s a lil nubbin in there moving rapidly in a small space, creating air pulses that match the nub’s speed. Then I did an informal experiment on a Womanizer toy to show that air is coming out, not being drawn in. It’s confusing, trust me. epi24 (Womanizer) said: “We prefer to call it Pleasure Air Technology”. Well, alrighty then. I’ll see what Satisfyer has to say, if they ever answer me.

A Note On Using These Underwater: While every other test seemed to tell me the same thing Womanizer did – that there’s no vacuum motor – putting these underwater did yield some suction. Mild, but more than regular use which is nearly nothing. I also noticed that if I held the nozzle tip a millimeter or so away from contact – just hovering – the “jackhammering” sensation kicked in and was the most amplified with the Satisfyer Pro 2. It reminded me a lot of the Wahl on high. I ran every model under water for a bit to make sure none were immediately affected adversely (I don’t have a tub, so I can’t use them this way).  However, there are more and more reports of Satisfyers biting the dust after being run under water. Some quit working, some turn on on their own and cannot be turned off. I didn’t experience these issues but some have, and with multiple models, enough to make me dislike Satisfyer even more. This issue has become bad enough that Shevibe has stopped carrying the “newer” (or older, depending on how you look at it) models of the Satisfyer. SheVibe now carries these models again in the “next gen” version, as the waterproof issue is said to have been fixed.

Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison Chart

Womanizer vs Satisfyer Comparison Chart *

Womanizer vs Satisfyer Chart

If you need more details or views on the various silicone heads, please ask.

Image of Womanizer and Satisfyer silicone nozzle heads view 1 Image of Womanizer and Satisfyer silicone nozzle heads view 2

All of the Womanizer heads - standard sizes on the left, XL sizes on the right

Womanizer Models

While I still feel that the overall cost of the Womanizer Deluxe (W500) and Plus Size is way too high, and I worry that the price point of the Womanizer PRO40 ($129) can’t compete with the Satisfyer range, I feel pretty confident about the build quality of the Womanizer line. Maybe their Deluxe W500 model wasn’t built for someone like me, but their PRO40 and Plus Size definitely are. The overall build quality isn’t always evident from the outside but Womanizer still comes out looking better and as Womanizer has noted – they pioneered this technology.

A note on the 30-day guarantee with Womanizer: Recently on Instagram Womanizer said “orgasms guaranteed” and I had to comment; I asked if their 30-day money-back promise was still in effect and they said “Yes! For the Deluxe and Delight versions!” Uh…wtf is the Delight version? They informed me that the Deluxe is W500, and Delight is W100 (except, it’s been discontinued). They stated there is no guarantee on the PRO40, sadly. There is no mention on the website of this 30-day money-back guarantee. If they give you a hassle, you can show them this screencap from Instagram where they publicly said it’s still a thing. Update: the 30-day thing is also in effect for the Plus Size and 2GO.

Womanizer W100

Womanizer W100Definitely discontinued – One thing that the Womanizer W100 has that the others lack is a really nice storage case. Sure, it’s baby-pink and has “Womanizer” emblazoned on it, but it’s really nice to keep the extra head, and charging accessories, all together. The W100 is the quietest model because it lacks the more intense levels. I feel that when the Womanizer W100 is pressed against your vulva, it’s nearly silent. Even when you break contact, it’s not that loud – 62 decibels. The Womanizer W100 has only one button but the power button can be tapped during use to bring you back down to the first intensity level. As of February 2017 update to this guide, no website is carrying the W100 model and it has been discontinued.

Womanizer Deluxe Pro / W500

Womanizer W500One word: Awkward – For as much as I loved the Womanizer W100, I thought I’d love the Deluxe W500 even more. Sure, it introduced the necessary plus and minus buttons to easily navigate the increased levels, but the power button was harder to press. The buttons are now located on the back side of the body, facing away from you, and are located in a place that is very awkward for me during use. The short, fat stature also makes it harder for me to hold. The designs of the Womanizer W500 are a little more classy, but still very femme with the exception White Chrome design – but even that has a Swarovski crystal “element” as the power button. The W500 is priced way, way too high at $219. It’s absolutely ridiculous and I can’t recommend this model with the other choices available. The W500 comes in the aforementioned White Chrome; Black Leopard, Red Roses, and Magenta Lace. The Womanizer Deluxe also comes with an XL head; the measurements aren’t in the chart because it’s complicated. While most nozzles have some extra width where the silicone touches your body, the canal of the nozzles are pretty straight. The Womanizer’s XL head is decidedly more funnel-shaped, so when I measured the interior, I put the calipers about 2mm down inside the “funnel” since I think part of the interior is going to touch flesh. The exterior ridge is 22 x 24.5 mm, and the interior is 18.6 x 19.9 mm.

—> In-Depth Review
—> Purchase at Shevibe
—> View/Download User Manual

Womanizer PRO40

Womanizer PRO40Practically Perfect – Until this model, Womanizer remained an overpriced, luxury item. And while $129 for the new Womanizer PRO40 still is considered luxury, out-of-reach pricing to many, it’s a bit more attainable than the price of other Womanizer models. The Womanizer PRO40 came out in response to the much cheaper Satisfyer knock-offs – and unlike the W100 or W500, the more affordable Womanizer PRO40 is waterproof, with a plain design that is a welcome change. It may still be more expensive than any Satisfyer, but the PRO40 has the features that keep me coming back to the Womanizer brand – comfortable nozzle heads, intuitive designs, and better navigation buttons. The PRO40 combines the best of the W100 (body, button placement) with the best of the W500 (extra power for those who need it, and up/down level navigation buttons), adds in waterproofing and takes away cost. I’m happy to have a slightly louder motor in exchange. The Womanizer PRO40 also comes with an XL head; the measurements aren’t in the chart because it’s complicated. While most nozzles have some extra width where the silicone touches your body, the canal of the nozzles are pretty straight. The Womanizer’s XL head is decidedly more funnel-shaped, so when I measured the interior, I put the calipers about 2mm down inside the “funnel” since I think part of the interior is going to touch flesh. The exterior ridge is 22 x 24.5 mm, and the interior is 18.6 x 19.9 mm. 

—> In-Depth Review
—> Purchase at Shevibe
—> View/Download User Manual

Even though the Womanizer Pro 40 is a little louder vs W100 or W500, it’s now my top recommendation over every brand and model.

Womanizer Plus SizeAlmost Had It – Extra length in the handle means the Womanizer Plus Size is more ergonomic for folks with reach issues, whether that’s due to disability or body size. They smartly put the up and down intensity buttons at the tip of the handle, but stupidly put the power button way down by the head. Since the power button also quickly takes you back to level 1, it’s a feature I personally use a lot and the placement is a ruiner for me. Whether it’s due to a change in overall size or a different motor the Plus Size feels different – less intense, less thuddy. The extra intensity levels are at the beginning to make the increase from level 1 on up less “jarring” I guess. While I love the extra length, I prefer the motor on the Pro40 and hate the power button placement on the Plus Size. I also hate the price tag on the Plus Size – currently $219 at Shevibe, the same price as the W500 Deluxe. It comes with an XL head and black storage bag.

—> In-Depth Review
—> Purchase at Shevibe
—> View/Download User Manual

Womanizer 2GORidiculously Large – Womanizer 2GO is billed as a travel-friendly, discreet version of the Womanizer. You’ll see in my full review how ridiculously large it really is; at 5″ tall it’s not fooling anyone. In some ways it is travel-friendly – the single button operation means you have to press and hold the button to get it started. All other Womanizer models turn on easily with a tap of the power button (too easily). 2GO is a little loud, and way more intense on the “lower” levels than any of the other models. It’s often too intense for me (note: intensity is only an issue with the original head, see review for more info). The cap falls off easily, too, but I do actually like having the cap. I don’t hate this one, but I have my druthers.  The price is high – par for the course with Womanizer, I guess – at $139.  It is made really well, though, seems higher quality than the others. 2GO comes with 2 heads! The XL head dimensions are: Interior: 19.5mm x 23.9mm and Exterior: 22.5mm x 26.8mm, making it slightly wider than the white nozzles.

—> In-Depth Review
—> Purchase at Shevibe
—> View/Download User Manual (nothing online yet – will update)

Satisfyer Models

The lower quality of build is definitely common across all Satisfyer models, and this is something that is honestly only apparent to me because I’ve tried all 3 available Womanizer models. I admit that I felt that many elements of the W100 seemed cheaply done when the price is taken into consideration, but it feels elegant in comparison to most Satisfyer models. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, that I realize I’m pickier than most. And I also want to point out my privilege in not finding the word “Womanizer” triggering, the way many non-binary, genderqueer, and trans folks might. I realize that, for them, my insistence on preferring the Womanizer PRO40 is very frustrating. I know that some sex toy shops won’t even carry the Womanizer because of the name. The part of me that refuses to work with sex toy shops that heavily gender their sex toy listings is incredibly frustrated that I can’t find a Satisfyer product that I like overall half as much as I like that damn Womanizer PRO40. 

On the higher intensity settings, the Satisfyer motors tend to all feel buzzy, like a vibrator. They lose that unique quality of “tapping” or rapid pressure taps that can mimic oral sex in a way. Instead, many become overkill, and feel very uncomfortable for me.

If you forced me to rank the Satisfyer models from best to worst I would be cranky and say: Satisfyer 1, Satisfyer 2, Satisfyer Pro 2, Satisfyer Pro Penguin, Satisfyer Pro Deluxe. Completely subjective, though.

A note on the “waterproof” features: Everything except the Satisfyer Pro 2 has been taken off the site at SheVibe because of many complaints that when used under water, the other models die. I didn’t experience that but also didn’t use them in the water – just tested.

A note on Satisfyer models and the User Manuals: Every user manual seems to be roughty the same when it comes to the warnings, and they all warn you not to get your credit cards too close, etc because of magnets. I don’t understand how there would be magnets in these, except for the few models that charge magnetically. Not all do, though. Strange.

A note on Satisfyer and warranties: Despite not advertising it at all, buried in legalese in their Terms and Conditions is mention of a warranty. I’ve been told that there is a 1 year warranty, and if you need to use that, email info@satisfyer.com. Thanks to Nikki at Fairvilla’s Sex Things for letting me know that they’ve tested that warranty and had a good experience! I don’t know what the parameters are, but you can download a copy of the T&C here, PDF.

Satisfyer Pro 2 – The Old and The New

Satisfyer Pro 2Affordable? Nah, Cheap – Rather than rename the Satisfyer Pro 2, the company made two changes and kept the name and design the same. This means that with most retailers you won’t know which model you’re buying, because they’re priced the same, too. You’d only know to see it in person – the new version has “Satisfyer” in raised lettering along the handle (shown here). Satisfyer boasted that the new Pro 2 was “90% more quiet” than before. Using my amateur decibel meter the difference is 9 points – the loudest rating on the lowest setting is 63dB on the new model vs 72dB on the old – it’s been explained to me by others that this does equal a 90% difference. It’s definitely a noticeable change, yet it is still one of the loudest models on the lower settings. And the high levels? Identical when not pressed against the vulva – when pressed against the vulva, the new Pro 2 is a bit more quiet. One strange quirk: The clicky clacky of the buttons on the Satisfyer Pro 2 is the loudest in the entire bunch. Louder than the motor itself. The Satisfyer Pro 2 comes in one color that is very gender-neutral, even if the packaging isn’t1. The button location isn’t the best for me and my preference but it may not bother you as much. Note: There’s now a third version – Next Gen – and this section and linked review will be updated soon!

—> In-Depth Review
—> Purchase at Shevibe
—> View/Download User Manual

Satisfyer 1

Battery-powered and basic, Satisfyer 1 is a decent introduction to pressure-wave toys. If you think you’ll want the Womanizer models but are afraid to drop that much money, try out the Satisfyer 1 for awhile, knowing that upgrading to the Womanizer will only make your experience better. If the Satisfyer 1 doesn’t work at all for you, then I doubt any of these will work. It’s pretty cheaply made, so I actually don’t expect it to stand the test of time. Satisfyer 1 has the most comfortable head of the cheaper Satisfyer models; it is similar to the Pro 2. The single-button design is basic, but the intensity isn’t awful (and is better than the Penguin). It’s not the most powerful Satisfyer, but it’s definitely in the running.  Note: This information, and the linked review, talks about the First Gen. Next Gen model information is coming soon!!

—> In-Depth Review
—> Purchase at SheVibe and Come As You Are
—> View/Download User Manual

Satisfyer 2

Battery-powered and confusing. Satisfyer 2 adds in something that no other Satisfyer model boasts: plus and minus up/down navigation buttons, a feature I’ve come to rely on. Unfortunately, the body design of the Satisfyer 2, combined with button placement, makes it unwieldy. It’s also the loudest model now being sold. Some may even say it’s also the ugliest version; the boxy 1970’s-style body reminds you of a straight-stemmed tobacco pipe, or maybe the Nike logo. The batteries rattle around, too. It has more silicone in the nozzle than the Pro Deluxe or Pro Penguin, but less than the Satisfyer 1 or Pro 2. If the noise factor and button location dooesn’t bother you, and you really feel that you, like me, need the extra plus and minus intensity navigation buttons, this is a begrudging green-light to buy this if you can’t yet afford the superior Womanizer PRO40. I will forever curse the button placement on the Satisfyer 2 because it coulda been a contender. Note: Shevibe stopped carrying this model due to the above-mentioned issues with waterproofness. They carry the Next Gen version now – this guide and the linked reviews are all about the original version. My updates on Next Gen will come soon!

—> In-Depth Review
—> Purchase at Shevibe
—> View/Download User Manual

Satisfyer Pro Penguin

Satisfyer Pro PenguinSmall and cute, the Satisfyer Pro Penguin will appeal to those not as picky as me. I have a huge gripe about the teeny, tiny silicone nozzle head that pops off easily (even during use, for me), and it’s corresponding lack of comfort plus difficulties maintaining a “seal”. The angle of head-to-body is less than other models so this means that the body of the toy will be angled further away from you. Coupled with its short stature this may mean it’s hard to hold for some folks with larger bodies or shorter arms (or the annoying combination of the two, like me). Like many Satisfyer models it has a brightly glowing LED light under the translucent silicone button. This is the only Satisfyer model that has the button facing your body, which is more comfortable for me but thin folks may find this causes the LED to glare in their eyes if they use it in the dark. I would probably recommend the Satisfyer Pro 2 over this, unless you simply cannot ignore the cute factor.  Note: This info is about the older model – updated info on Next Gen coming soon!!

—> In-Depth Review
—> Purchase at SheVibe or for Canadians, CAYA
—> View/Download User Manual

Satisfyer Pro Deluxe

Move Along. It’s awful, and I won’t recommend it to anyone. The design is way off the mark and it’s not comfortable to hold. Buy literally any other model. The Satisfyer Pro Deluxe has no redeemable qualities, unless you think that pranking someone by wrapping it up like a potato would be your idea of a good time. But even then, don’t buy it. I was going to publish a short, rage-filled review but you know what? I just couldn’t muster the spoons to waste reviewing this piece of crap.

* A few things to note about this comparison chart:

  1. As new similar products are available to retailers, and I try them, I’ll add them to the chart. By similar I mean no vibrations, just this air pulsing whoosiewhatsit.
  2. The decibels were tested with my phone and a sound meter. Due to the idling-engine type sound that the motors make on low, the sound meter jumped around a lot. The lower numbers then represent the loudest that the first settings will get. Also, I tested the sound levels without the nozzle being completely covered, like it would be in use. When the nozzle is completely covered the sound is dampened a lot.
  3. Charge and use time reports are varying from retailer info to manufacturer website / product manual info. One reports the Satisfyer has 120 minutes of use, while their web-version user manual reports only 30 minutes. When I can get an accurate number, I’ll add it.
  4. I feel that the fat & short design of the Womanizer W500 is awkward to hold and more awkward to press buttons. Womanizer boasts it being more comfortable to hold. We’ll agree to disagree, I guess.

The Knock-Off Issue with Satisfyer

Like anything popular, counterfeit and copycat products quickly flooded Amazon, AliExpress, eBay, etc. It never takes long after “white label”2 versions of popular brands are available for the emails about them to start hitting my inbox3. As you can see in this email screenshot there’s a knock-off of the Womanizer tech in a different body with a wholesale price of $20. At first glance, Satisfyer seemed to have fixed the primary complaints about Womanizer: design, name, price. But when you use any Satisfyer model side-by-side with any Womanizer it’s glaringly obvious that the price increase with the Womanizer will get you a product that is better made. I also just have a really hard time supporting a product that is such an obvious rip-off – maybe you don’t agree, and you need to have the most affordable option which I respect.

When I saw the Satisfyer brand, it was really clear that they’re going after the Womanizer market4 with this non-vibrating air-pulsation technology – they went the cheap route though with the motor and design, allowing the retail price to be so much lower than the Womanizer that they were guaranteed to steal a large chunk of the Womanizer’s potential customers5.

 

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  1. features a white femme person
  2. White label is when a manufacturing plant makes a product, but they are not necessarily a brand – they offer to make things for your brand. You, the brand company, don’t really design anything, you just slap your brand name on the packaging and maybe pick a slightly different color scheme. This is why you can often see a dozen nearly-identical sex toys on the sub-par retailer market
  3. Side note: why the hell do these companies think bloggers are retailers?
  4. **After this post went live** two folks commented via Facebook about their interactions with Satifyer reps at SHE NYC. One said: “True story, at this years SHE Expo in Brooklyn the Satisfyer representative said flat out to my wife and I that they took the “poorly designed Womanizer and made it better” then proceeded to essentially brag about how they got away with it adding how they considered a powerful patent lawyer part of the cost of bringing the Satisfyer to market. I mean, the guy was chuckling about it.” You know, this is not how a decent company behaves. At all. Jesus fuck.
  5. The company behind the Satisfyer has denied that they’ve outright copied the Womanizer tech; Womanizer responded by slapping them with patent infringement but it won’t hold water outside of Germany