Feb 052010

You know how sometimes you don’t realize something as being true until it comes falling out of your mouth with no premeditated thought? Writing is like that, for me. It can be how I work shit out. So I handed in a few posts to Edencafe recently and they decided to run with my little theme and post them all on the same day. It’s Dangerous Lilly Day!

Baby steps this week, one day for lunch I chose a green salad with a half cup of tuna salad on top, and a cup of light yogurt. Two months ago would have found me having the reuben. Was the tunasalad the best choice, when you consider the mayo? Probably not but I didn’t use dressing, and I just can’t eat naked greens. I’m sorry, I can’t make drastic changes and expect it to stick. I bought myself another gelato pint last night at the store. Combine a somewhat-humorous threat by my hub and my own attempt at convictions and I ate only 1/4 of the container.

Then this morning in my email I see a pingback hit on an old post that was basically food porn, where I waxed romantic about Fettucine Alfredo and perhaps grilled cream cheese sandwiches, featuring photos of gorgeous decadent food that I love. Food that I don’t eat every day or even every week. But oh horrors of horrors it’s a FATTY talking about her love of good food. I can’t do that, it’s “disgusting” or so this man claim. I will not link to his post here, I did on Twitter but I won’t give him traffic from this site. He linked to that post and he (without asking of course) re-posted yesterday’s HNT photo.

“She is a blogger who talks about her sex life and how she loves being a fat ass. I will admit that some of her stuff is pretty sexy…until you see her”.  He goes on to show that photo and says how the rest of me “must be a mess” and invited his readers to try and find a photo of my ass as proof, he claims to have spent 5 minutes searching but apparently couldn’t stomach any more. Funny, isn’t it, that my statcounter shows he spent a lot more than 5 minutes saw a lot of photos. He didn’t *read* anything recent though because he says that “Being fat isn’t healthy. It isn’t a lifestyle choice. It is just laziness.” I’m listed as his Freak of the Day because I  both aroused him and disgusted him. I feel bad for him, kinda. I bet he feels guilty when he jerks off 3 times a day, too, and isn’t dating. Most of his site is based on making himself feel better by finding other people to rip apart.


These posts at Edencafe? I’m kinda proud of these but oh be ready for a little conflict in inner voices ;) I’d appreciate hearing your thoughts on these, either here or there.

From the post “Caring about Myself“:

I’m saying I care. About me. About not scaring those who love me and worry about my health. About not wanting to be in such pain and if taking better care of myself health-wise might have an affect on the pain, then it’s damn well time to step up and do it. I have to.

From the post “Pleasure in Food: Finding a balance between yum and healthy“:

Fat, glorious fat. It gives flavor, it gives divine texture. Food that you enjoy with every fiber of your being, food that makes you involuntarily say “Yummmmm” as you eat. Food being referred to as “better than sex”. Foodgasm, my favorite word. Food, glorious food. It makes mouths happy, it makes *brains* happy because of the endorphin rush or whatever. At least to me and those I call favorite people!

And then I got really angry when I started thinking about diet foods. From the post “Foods, Force feminized!”:

Put on your thinking caps here, close your eyes and imagine all the yogurt commercials you’ve seen recently.
Got it?
Now then – where are the men?
Oh look, there’s a man – wait, no, not really. He’s eavesdropping on his wife’s ambiguous phone conversation about yogurt-porn and all these gorgoeous flavors she’s eaten lately. Key Lime Pie! Apple Turnovers! And, I’m losing weight! Where’s hubby? Like the dipshit that media plays him up to be, he’s digging through the fridge looking for these yummy desserts and oh teehee he’s like totally not getting it that it’s really the yogurt right in front of him that she’s talking about! Oh, the hilarity. Silly man. Yogurt is for girls!

Edit: You can’t change mean people, you can’t make them see the light.

Jun 282009

Random updates, random mutterings, you know me. Never linear.

Where to start where to start….

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Oh! The most lovely and talented VanillaImpaired made me a Little Miss Lilly!!! (from this post)


Ain’t it cute??

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Rori is doing her Top Sexy Bloggers again, but a little different this year. She’s taking on people to help judge the nominated bloggers and I happily volunteered! Yay I can’t wait!

So get your butts over to this post and nominate the blogs of your favorite sexy bloggers – keep in mind to list the blog and not just the blogger name. Unlike last year, the number of times someone’s blog is nominated won’t help push it up in the rankings. Just throw out the blogs you read and love, get them noticed!

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As I bitched about heavily on Twitter, 2 of my “Everyday” bras died last week within 14 hours of each hour. How annoying! One died while I was at work, and I had to deal with a sharp underwire poking and prodding me. I couldn’t get the damn thing out, so I had to resort to…….MacGuyver methods until I was able to get rid of the damn thing.

So Saturday was a dreaded day filled with angsty bra shopping. Is it easier for skinny girls with B cup tits, I wonder? I pulled off sizes close to what I have at home and NONE fit. Or there were no sexy bigger bras. I was near tears until I found out about a Lane Bryant outlet near me, and went. I picked up 3 nice bras which provide WOW lift and support! I’ll be doin a few HNT’s I’m sure. I also went to the evil evil Walmart (thinking, I’m only going to one department, how bad can it be??? Bad. Remind me never to go back) to look at their bras and handbags. I came away with two slutty sex bras in shades of red. They’re sex bras because they’re not really fit to be worn for 10 hours straight, and plus it might be obscene. Just a bit. You’ll see ;)

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I’ve added another decadent cooking method into my repertoire. Butter poaching. Yeah, its like it sounds. Its a somewhat slow cook method, as you’re not trying to brown it or sautee it. Many recipes call for the addition of some stock or wine or a combination of the two to bring up the poaching liquid content, but it’s still at least half butter. I was making a simple dish tonight, simple mushroomy-rice comfort food, and decided to butter poach the chicken breast with little other than salt and garlic powder (to ensure an even distribution of garlic flavor). It renders breast meat that is succulent and delicate, juicy beyond words.


Mar 082009

Today’s food discussion isn’t a new topic, I’m revisiting the *booming movie voice* Grilled Cream Cheese Sandwich! No sexy thinly-veiled euphemisms and double entendres in this post, I don’t want more angry Fleshbot readers on my tail.

I felt it was my duty to try out a few different ways to do this. I had mentioned last time that a strawberry and cream cheese filled one would likely work better with a more plain bread, an egg bread perhaps…like challah. To prep for my long weekend I bought all sorts of sammich-makin goodies at the store. I tried a different brand of raisin bread and I got a braided challah loaf. Some frozen berries, more cream cheese and a brick of Neufchatel cheese (less fat than regular cream cheese, and it’s a bit softer straight from the fridge) and one of the higher-end fruit preserves – I tried a Pollaner brand one that’s only sweetened with natural juices. I’ve been finding that I prefer my preserves to taste like fruit and the super-sugary jams and preserves really don’t do it for me. Now my favorite fruit spread ever I got from this home-kitchen party thing at someone’s house, I can’t recall the company name, it was a strawberry-rhubarb spread. A little more runny than preserves but holy fuck on a stick that was good. Would kill to have another jar for these experiments.

Anyways, I’m rambling. Onto the experiments.

img_12501 img_1252 img_1254

Challah Bread

In concept, it’s good. It’s an egg dough, a nice rich yellow tone. I just didn’t want a white bread for these concoctions, but nor did I want a heavy dense wheat bread. Unfortunately, the challah was just too soft to stand up to the filling. It’s good, don’t get me wrong, but it’s a very pillowy-soft bread. Eating any of the challah sandwiches proved to be a lesson in grace, lest I end up with strawberry-cream-cheese down my front.

Perhaps another bread to try would be a sweet one like King’s Hawaiian?

Raisin Bread

Last time I got the SunMaid brand cinnamon raisin bread. Good; a lot of raisins and cinnamon, but the swirls of cinnamon meant that the bread would fall apart a bit. Made for a messy endeavor. This time I bought Thomas’ brand. It’s not as cinnamon-y but it’s a thicker slice and a little more sturdy. It held up to a strawberry filling AND the combo tasted better than I expected. In fact, it was pure fucking orgasmic heaven.


{There is only one photo, you can’t see the strawberries inside because, well, I ate it.
No time for photos, I just ate it}


I’ve tried the strawberry preserves on the challah, but the non-fruit part liquefied – dripped out, made it messy, etc.

Then I tried a few pieces of frozen strawberries, drained. It’s not the season for really good fresh berries, so frozen ones worked out well. I used the kind you get in the sugar-juice. Yum. That was it, right there. Just a few pieces strewn about.

With the addition of a sweet fruit filling, I backed off on the sugar addition to my cream cheese. If you’re a big fan of straight cream cheese, you could get away with no sugar, but I still recommend the few drops of vanilla extract.


I’m still in research mode. It’s selfless, really, I’m doing it for you. ;)

I’d do a savory version but I’m just not a fan of unadulterated cream cheese. I gotta have a lil sweet and vanilla in mine.In my head a good pairing would be a few paper-thin slices of homegrown tomato, on less-dense wheat bread or something.

The bread has to be somewhat soft and a little dense, not chewy and not heavy.

The best combo is the plain cream cheese filled cinnamon-raisin bread (the Thomas’ brand) for something less sweet; for a sweet addition (that kicks IHOP’s ass with their strawberry stuffed french toast) add in a few slices of real strawberry-be it fresh or sweetened-frozen.

I swear to you, it’s one of those things that could be better than sex. It’s that fucking good. No, really, I oohhhed and ahhed and moaned and my eyes rolled back in my head and……yeah. Ahem.

God, that’s good.

If you make this for a new partner for breakfast or a 1 am refueling – I daresay you’ll have them hooked, and coming back for more of everything. What better way to top off orgasms than with foodgasms? To be able to give such exquisite sensory pleasure in and out of the bedroom is the mark of a wonderful lover.

{I also apologize to any Sweeney Todd fans for now planting that song into their heads all day}

Feb 282009

First, I must apologize.

Foremost, for being a lackluster sex blogger as of late. Perhaps I need a muse? I’m even having trouble writing reviews, in case you’ve noticed a lack of such in the last few weeks. Part of it is cutting back a bit but I’m also right now in a bit of a writing slump. So in go the sensual posts about food – something used by many as a surrogate for sex. My domestic goddess side is more out right now than the sexual goddess. And I use the term ‘goddess’ lightly.

Secondly to all my fellow pervs who have arrived here from Fleshbot. You see, I was Fleshbotted today. It was pointed out to me on Twitter by DebauchedDiva and I scratched my head and said “For what?!?! I haven’t written a sex post lately!!” But perhaps they were mesmerized by my description of meltey-sweet-cream cheese (wherein I was referring to cream cheese but it sounded like I could have been referring to a need for a mouthful of well, something else decidedly less wholesome) and just stopped reading after the first 6 lines? Dude there’s gonna be a lot of pissed off pervs lookin for a bit of jerk material and instead seeing a photo of an innocuous little grilled cream cheese sandwich and the recipe for a Fettuccine Alfredo that most cardiologists tremble in fear at.


Sorry. It’s not my fault!

To be honest, it’s ridiculous that that post was included in a sex-blog round up about “when horniness attacks”. But it at least gave me a much-needed laugh for the day.

And now, on to some lunacy.

I swear to you some times the biggest reason I have a traffic meter / tracker on my blog is for the amusement factor. But this week, the amusement and simultaneous irritation came from the spam-catcher Askimet that WordPress offers for catching spam comments. It does a really good job for the most part. Usually the spam levels were at perhaps 50 a week. The posts that tend to consistently get the spam comments are the ones linked from the Pleasurists lists, followed by Sugasm and then the couple Fleshbotted posts. This one review though that I did a few months ago, for Pinkcherry.com, is the sole post suddenly garnering in excess of 200 spam comments a DAY. Just out of the sheer blue.

Here’s the crazy part: It’s Disney spam.

HEY, DISNEY SPAMMERS!! Ya fuckin perverts, get off my damn blog. Seriously. Disney links in the spam comments. They’re all linking to some spam site and its all for Disney stuff.

An excellent work! KEEP IT UP![url=http://0222disneyb.BLANKINGOUTcuzImnotgivingYoutraffic.com/?disney-background-free]disney background free[/url]

The weird part though is that all these spammers don’t seem to be showing up in my blog tracker. I’ve looked at the IP address of the spam comment and the time of day it hit, clicked over to the tracker….looked at the hits around that time…and nothin. None of those IP addresses went to the review post in question. So I can’t tell where these spammers are coming to me from.


Inspire me a bit if you miss my erotica, if you want to see more pics. Otherwise you’re going to hear about the recipes I’m perfecting because I’m going to be entering a few recipes contests in the next couple of months. I promise to cook mostly naked though!

Feb 222009





Coating my tongue

Dripping down my chin

I lick it from my lips and fingers

It is simple and luxurious, sinful and decadent.

It is over too soon and I cry for more.


I sin equally in sex as I do in food. My breakfast concoction this weekend and Sunday night’s dinner are like pure sin on the tongue. The silky gorgeous mouthfeel of high-fat-content dairy foods is really in the top 3 of sinful food. Melted sweet cream cheese; cream sauces; runny warm egg yolks. Just fucking divine.


Oh, I’m sorry. What did you think I was talking about??

You want sexy food? I got it, right here. And I’m going to share it.

Continue reading »

Feb 162009

Food is so much more than just vitamins, minerals and life-sustaining calories.

At least to me it is.

Last week I visited BrokeAss Gourmet at the urging of a few blogger friends. The more I thought about it and read what there was, I realized….hey…I would love to contribute! I’ve got at least half a dozen recipes that would easily fit to the Under$20 for Two theme they have going there, and I (humbly) know my food is good.

Problem is, I don’t really use recipes. I may have at one point started off with a recipe or two, but as I went along with it I modified it. Perhaps because I didn’t like an ingredient, couldn’t get it, or didn’t stock it. 9 times out of 10, the dish is always good but never ever the exact same way twice. Not exactly. Now, I have not yet heard back from Brokeass Gourmet….so I’m hoping. As the days go on, I am doubting I will hear back from them in a positive light – after all, who the fuck am I? Another nobody “sexblogger” in a sea of others. I’m not a professional writer, a professional fucker, or a combination of the two. But I’m still hoping. I love sharing my food with others. I truly love cooking for others, seeing the blissful looks of foodgasm on their faces as they eat what I’ve made.

So this weekend, food replaced sex because I’m sick with some hybrid chest/head cold. I did my best to measure and write things down as I went along.

Until I figure out how to insert a slideshow, or determine if any of you care to see foodie pics, I’ll just leave it at some finished product shots. Because if I’m sharing recipes/techniques, I fully believe in giving visual aides as well.


Breakfast: I’ve perfected the poached egg. Totally decadent, but messy, when I schmear it all over the toast.


Dinner: Shiitake Parmesan Risotto


Quite possibly the most decadent, sinful chocolate chip cookie I’ve ever eaten. Very rich, a bit messy. I just found this recipe elsewhere over the weekend, I cannot claim it. It’s complicated and I don’t like baking, but I made an exception.