Can’t Buy My Love

It took 6 years for me to be accused of being bought off. Also, I’m officially notorious. Perhaps I should change my handle to Notorious L.I.L?

SheVibe is All That

Some people, even other bloggers, have questioned my love for SheVibe. As one of the biggest mouths in the Toxic Toy “hysteria” scene, I’ve had a few question it because they carry stuff that’s porous. They don’t carry anything that isn’t labeled by the manufacturer as “phthalates-free” so in that regard they ARE a non-toxic shop. As you all know I don’t love porous toys and won’t recommend them for insertables 98% of the time.  Plus I have deep reservations about trusting the phthalates-free claims from certain companies. Hey, they can lie. So while there are items in stock that I personally don’t agree with, it’s better than most shops. More importantly, SheVibe has changed with the times and now they warn customers about porosity. This still doesn’t mean that customers necessarily understand porosity or why it matters, but that’s another story for another day.

So yes, a few have even questioned if I’m being paid to be so loyal to SheVibe, and work with them/recommend them above all other retailers. Not only am I not paid off to be loyal to them, but I make less money in commissions by directing my readers to them. The affiliate commission percentage at SheVibe is a bit less than most other places I’m affiliated with. But there’s really nowhere else I’d rather my readers shop. I’ve come to realize in my many years that the integrity of the company as a whole and the humans running the company is incredibly important. You will never find SheVibe trying to control their affiliates and what they write in their reviews1. You will never find SheVibe bad-mouthing their competition just to get ahead in business. They do not want to succeed to the detriment of another company.  They have never, to my knowledge, threatened a reviewer in any way, or screwed over a customer. SheVibe is run by a bunch of people whom I consider to all be Good People. They have a sense of humor (that maybe all don’t agree with) and they have a unique style; they’re not cookie-cutter, they’re not posers, they’re not schmoozers. If they fuck up, they apologize and fix, they listen and learn. They listen to their trusted reviewers and value them.  In my 6 years I’ve come across a lot of douchebags and awful people. SheVibe is a goddamn gem. Which is to say nothing of the fact that their stock selection is good, they’ll carry things if requested to do so, their prices are great, their customer service is great, they have sales all the time, they don’t try to hide who the manufacturer is of a toy or change the name of it, and if you’re lucky you might get some box art.  They have bent over backwards for their customers AND bloggers time and time again; for as long as they were allowed to, they offered to handle the 30-day money-back gaurantee for the Womanizer so that people actually felt safe trying it out (many people on social media had said that epi24 was ignoring their requests for money back).

I also want to point out that ever since I started sending my readers to SheVibe, I haven’t heard a single complaint – in fact I’ve heard praise and gratitude for introducing them to SheVibe. I’ve had complaints about EdenFantasys, Adam & Eve, others on my Blacklist and hell even a few complaints about places I do support like Lovehoney and yes, even Tantus.

Jimmyjane is Clueless

I recently received this awesome note of thanks from an employee at a retail store down south, saying that she and her co-workers often learn more from me than many company reps and they credit me for teaching them about toxic & porous toys – honestly the note was awesome and it made my week…not just for the thank you but for this next part. Apparently, their Jimmyjane rep is not only unprofessional but clueless as well. When the rep tried talking up the Form 4, one of the employees countered back with complaints about the charging dock, the price and…..the seam. At the word “seam” the rep woke up and said “You must have read Dangerous Lilly’s blog. She hates us… I don’t even know why she hates us so much. I think she’s being paid by Lelo to leave us bad reviews.”

I’m both insulted and laughing my ass off. Are you fucking kidding me??? Clearly the rep only reads what I write about JJ and never read this post.  They don’t know why I hate the company? Let’s see. OH OH I KNOW. Hmm everything I said in the beginning of this review which of course she read since that’s the product in question that created the entire exchange. Not to mention the fact that I just cannot respect a company that, in earnest, has tried to sell a $35,000 plane ride or a $4,000 bouncy house (to say nothing of the fact that they think people will pay $40 more for gold-plating on the charging contacts). Jimmyjane is a company for the 1%, and I am not2.  Listen, I’m not about to hate a person because they work for a company who puts out products I don’t like. You do you. JJ isn’t making toxic crap; they’re just overcharging like whoa for stuff that isn’t worth the price tag.  But at least have a better line of defense than that. At least TRY, Jimmyjane Rep. Try to defend your product without being totally fucking classless and making me think you’re a really great fit for that company.

 I’m really just a Mouthy Bitch

Here’s the thing. I am a customer, first and foremost. My reviews here are no different than my reviews and opinions on products anywhere else. I’m opinionated and picky. If I hated that batter dispenser I got from Amazon, you better believe I’m going to leave a negative review when it broke after the 4th use. Welcome to the life, folks – there’s shitty companies everywhere trying to make something cheaper and for more profit, customer happiness (and quality) be damned. It’s true in sex toys as much as kitchenware. 

I’m also not a salesperson. I have affiliate links, yes. It’s my way of getting paid for the work I do. I will occasionally review products when there’s no chance at affiliate commission but by and large the affiliate system is a roundabout way of paying for the long hours put into each review and every educational guide. But either way, I’m not going to give a bad review to a product I won’t get affiliate commission for and I won’t give a glowing review to a product just to earn a sale from you. I was once in your shoes, too, unsure where to spend my money. I’ll never purposely steer you wrong.

Any other rumors you’d like me to clear up? :)


  1. Yes, there are places doing this, even now…stores you would think are above such nonsense
  2. To be fair, Lelo is guilty of this crap too, to a degree, with their gold and silver/platinum versions of the Ella and Bob and whatnot….but they didn’t do the bouncy house and plane ride so they’re the lesser of two evils

14 Responses

  1. dizzygirl says:

    Totally agree with everything. SheVibe is that great. I don’t get paid to say so either. The way they work with us reviewers is top notch and I know they care about their customers as well.

    Are you kidding me about THE SEAM? I like the Form 4 but that’s the first thing I noticed and I hate it and basically said: shame on JJ for that cheap ass seam.

    As reviewers, all we have is our integrity. It’s unfortunate that some companies don’t understand that.

  2. True story on SheVibe. They are awesome AND always looking to learn and improve. Love them.

    Also, thank you for reiterating that while non-porous toys are recommended “porous” and “toxic” are NOT the same. They just aren’t. People give me crap about the Superhero Sex Shop list for this reason sometimes (a shop will sell porous things or things from a brand that hasn’t been deemed “cool”, you know, whatever) and I have to have that conversation.

    And yes! The freaking seam!! You know I love my Form 4 and will throw down for that toy but even my (positive) review mentions the giant seam on the “luxury” toy. wth?

  3. Yes, I will absolutely recognize that there is a difference, that porous doesn’t equal toxic….BUT I still can’t personally support it and don’t always trust that it really is non-toxic (and I have my serious reservations that a condom will help). So I’m torn because I know sometimes it’s an affordability issue. Luckily there’s a good amount of affordable silicone and glass on the market now, and that only seems to be increasing.

  4. Ah, see I misunderstood your point so I will now remake mine because now it sounds like I’m all “yay porous toys!”

    While porous toys are something I advise against (and I have worked with shops to source inexpensive body safe nonporous toys) I don’t believe in declaring retailers “bad” for selling them. I believe in providing education.

  5. “I don’t believe in declaring retailers “bad” for selling them. I believe in providing education.” Yes, this is the best way to view it, really. The only way, I think, for now.

  6. Guest says:

    I forgot my actual point, which was that that was why I loved this piece! Especially as it came from you because I (and I think a lot of people) consider you a go-to source for toy material info. I think it’s cool for folks to hear you talking about an awesome shop (yay SheVibe!) that does carry things that are not so awesome.

  7. Eeek, Disqus ate my comment… I forgot my actual point which was that that was why I loved this piece! Especially because it came from you and I (and I think a lot of people) consider you a go-to source for all things toy safety. It’s great to hear your perspective on an awesome shop (yay SheVibe) that carries some not so awesome stuff. (I don’t think it’s exactly the same as the eat comment… but still)

  8. Spider Domme says:

    I was really disappointed in Lelo products. I even returned an expensive vibe because it was crap.

  9. thesindoll says:

    It’s ironic, now that I no longer review, how many kinksters I run into who have unhealthy sex toys. On more than one occasion I’ve been unable to hold myself back from pointing at a jelly dildo, my left eye twitching, exclaiming a little too loudly about how. they. melt…in…the…SUN! I send people to here to research toys because I like how you do it. Honestly. That’s all people want.

  10. Oddkin says:

    I actually laughed at the ‘bought off by LELO’ part. Anyone who has read more than 3 of your blog posts knows you are an equal opportunity shit-caller-outer, and LELO has not been exempt.

  11. I KNOW!!!!! I mean if they were gonna pick someone it should at least make SENSE. “equal opportunity shit-caller-outer” I like that. I’m stealing that.

  12. MrsJoJo says:

    Being in the UK, I haven’t had dealings with SheVibe BUT from reviews that I have read, people seem to love the fact that they ARE a good company and care for their customers and products. I really like your honesty in your posts. I have sponsored ads on my site (i don’t use affiliate links, much) but companies know if the product is crap, i will say so, the same goes for their service. So i have only taken sponsorship from those companies i trust.

  13. MrsJoJo says:

    i have no dealings with she vibe, being that i am in the UK. BUT from what i have seen from US bloggers and customers in general, they have a good vibe about them.

    I Have site sponsors who pay a set annual rate but if i am sent a product that is shit, i will tell the truth, yes the majority still stock jelly toys but they don’t bother me with them, unless it’s a new product and they want total honesty.

    my fav company is not a sponsor but i am part of their affiliate program. they do not stock non porous/jelly and they send me a min of 2 products a month to review. been a loyal customer with them, way before reviewing. Again, send me a bad product, i still say it straight.

    No one should be ‘paid off’, i can’t see decent bloggers accepting a deal like that. But then it gets me thinking, if a blogger charges money for a review, will they be happy chirpy?

  14. Jane Blow says:

    Since PD acquired JJ… I have been waiting for their price and/or quality to drop. The reps I have met at shows are nice people (despite the company they work for). I’ve noticed at warehouse shows, they try to give away JJ… and they can’t. Buyers, shop owners, and employees at the show refuse. I giggle every time.
    They also don’t hide they make toys out of fake China everything. Which I found interesting.
    Good for them? Wuhan?
    I guess in this Internet age, they’ve embraced who they are, and since they’re of the big 5, they aren’t going anywhere. We all lifted the curtain and have seen behind it… up to us to do the right thing… and we have… lol… and they’re frustrated.
    A big 5 company … mad at a bunch of bloggers.

    Neener neener.