Ruckus in 3…2….(boom)

Earlier this week, Sinclair asked on Twitter if any reviewer had any massage oils/candles that they didn’t want and cared to swap for. So I emailed, offering up my one Babeland massage candle. Anyways, she says “Hey….wouldn’t it be cool to have a place where all the sexbloggers who review stuff can go to swap with other reviewers?” It would only be stuff that can be sterilized or that doesn’t need to be, like lubes and massage oils/candles, BDSM stuff, etc. What, you’re getting squicky at the thought of toy-swapping? Why? Like I said, only something we tried for review purposes and that can be totally sterilized…’d swap toys in a group sex situation *shrugs* so why the hell not? I don’t know about you but I hate that I have some really nice things laying about that I won’t ever use again.

So after some quick-n-dirty research, I found a site thats used for swapping. But, as I quickly found out, its mostly for crafty stuff. Handmade stuff. You host an idea, everybody signs up who wants to join, and the site software randomly pairs up two people and then when you’re assigned a partner it gives you their mailing address. Well, we didn’t realize all that at first, we so signed up. We each ended up creating a group. We should have given the groups innocuous test names, but we didn’t. We also didn’t realize that the group names show up somewhere on the site. So one such nosey person noticed this, read our short descriptions, saw our websites and…..well… all “proper vanilla lady” concerned. How’d I find out about this forum thread? Because I noticed in the tracker for my site that suddenly I was getting all these referral links from that site and a forum thread there. WTF??….hmmm……

Ok I saw two new groups made …sex toy trades and so forth ..18 and over site so it doesnt bother me ..My question is can newbies with no ratings or filled out profiles make groups …

@DangerousLilly and @mrsexsmith

are they self promoting or what …

IMO… you can swap anything… toys are not the kind swap materials swap-bot is about …i understand the music …the sexy swaps …..

i dunno this just got me the wrong way …..

if im wrong so be it , but ya’ll know i say what’s on my mind


As an aside here, by the time I noticed all this, the thread had already gotten quite a bit of activity in the form of the “hens” speculating…..and holy shit was it funny…..

Well, I have no issue with the content of the groups, but I do think its highly suspicious that both of these creators have no ratings and not even filled out profiles, seems mights fishy…should we alert the “authorities”? :-/



Considering the turn that the other thread took, I hesitate to add my 2 cents but I’ll take my chances. Here goes…I for one would hate for swapbot to become a site that attracts those wishing to solely swap sex toys, spouses, dirty socks & worn shoes or whatever else that I probably couldn’t even imagine. I think there are other more appropriate sites for these kind of activites. I highly doubt that this was Rachel & Travis’ vision when they developed this site.

Wait, wait wait. Hold it.

“…spouses, dirty socks & worn shoes or whatever else that I probably couldn’t even imagine…..”


A bunch of bloggers, a self-contained group, that merely wants to find a place to congregate to work out swaps easily….swapping sextoys is a gateway to listing SPOUSES for swap?????

*cackles maniacally*

Oh you gotta gimme a minute here….

*insert 5 minutes of crazy-person laughter, including snorts and tears*

Oh dude that’s some funny shit.

was suspicious of the group founders, too. Yeah, used sex toys … sounds gross!

I rolled my eyes so hard at that. Yeah honey, we’re gonna stick a toy in our cunt, swish it around, and then say “Anybody wanna try this one?!?!?!” Friggin dumbshit. And prude, I might add. Not one of the few female bloggers that I showed this forum thread to the night it was happening seemed to think anything wrong with swapping barely-or-not-at-all used STERILIZED toys. Nor did all of us automatically assume insertables.


Well, whoda thunk it…after doing a search for @dangerouslilly this came up. Included on that site is the same url for her website that she has listed on Swapbot under her profile name! And well… @mrsexsmith is well…all about it!

I like this one. My site, that’s raunchy and eyebrow-raising and hand-over-their-mouths “I’m gonna pray for her soul” stuff. But Sinclair? A self-proclaimed “kinky queer butch top”? They could barely even speak of her. That was just so “out there” to these ladies that they couldn’t even mention it. After all…..we both had groups up. Both had similar profiles (i.e. empty “about me” bullshit)

My response at that point was this:

Since you’re all talking about me….I should chime in.

MrSexSmith and I know each other, we’re both sex bloggers, we both set up groups just to see whats up with this.

We are thinking about setting this up because, being a sex blogger, we are given sex toys and similar accoutrement to review. Sometimes we don’t ever use them or they are sterilizable and therefore could be swapped between other sexbloggers who review. So you’d be seeing a whole bunch of other bloggers signing up as newbs and our group would be doing a private group swap, i.e. we don’t expect other non-bloggers to be joining.

I hope that clears things up for you folks!


Yeah, that didn’t stop things.


educate the uneducated wth is a sex blogger …please use little words i sometimes am very slow ……..thanks


Seriously?? blogger……….anything?

This all happened Tuesday evening. By 10am on Wednesday morning….I’d had over 3 dozen hits from that site and/or that thread. Heh.

Really now.

I checked out a few profiles of some of the more vocal participants in the thread. I’m not joking that one included, in her very long list of “likes to receive” for swapping stuff, anything to do with:

  • Walmart
  • The Virgin Mary
  • Religious candles
  • St Jude
  • Rosaries
  • in amongst all the standards “glittery things, pink things, flowers” etc etc etc.


It then occurred to me just HOW out of place we were. Like… your back, we’re about to be burnt at the stake.

Eventually, after some very nice explaining of what we were and were not about, that we didn’t expect any illustrious members of the community to be involved with it…..I just gave in. Said ok, thanks for clearing it up, the heathens won’t sully things anymore. Buhbye.

To credit, they weren’t all stuck-up prudes. Two really nice women took the time to privately message me and say we shouldn’t feel the need to be run off by the others – even though they would have no interest in our group, it’s not illegal and not specifically against the TOS of the site…..and that I should stay. I was adult and nice with my responses, I never freaked out and never was rude (unlike some of them). I let those two women know how much I appreciated their speaking up in private to me.

Boy did this experience open my eyes to just how……unwelcome a sex blogger can feel in certain places, real life or internet.

Above all else though it was fuckin funny. I mean just “holy shit look at the ruckus we caused!!!”

Sinclair’s idea of swapping though will not be deterred, we’re finding other ways to set this up. After all, wouldn’t you like to trade that paddle there for an oil from her that neither of you like your current product but think that what the other person has is really neat and you’d like to have it for yourself? I would.

*Don’t worry, once it’s all set up and kinks worked out, we’ll be spouting off about it so much you’ll get sick of hearing about it! We’ll let you all know :)

12 Responses

  1. Essin' Em says:

    That’s hilarious :)

    I wanna be on this. I own far too much crap, and have given a lot of it away, but would rather trade :) Keep me in the loop?

    ~ Oooooooo and you have some GOOD STUFF too…..woot! :)

  2. Eithrael says:

    Sounds like a great idea!

  3. sinclair says:

    cat’s outta the bag! Lilly I’m so glad you’re running with this idea, I think it’d be fun to have a place to swap away things.

    love your recap of how our radical debaucherous sexblogging ways infiltrated an unsuspecting community. muahahaha.

    (um, just kidding. of course.)

    ~ This just totally fuckin ruins my theory that if every woman owned a Pure Wand and a Hitachi, that we’d achieve world peace. Hey, if the girls are happy, the boys are happy, right? Apparently I’d get a lot of opposition on this campaign. Sad, really.

  4. Nadia West says:

    Man, considering my friends offline are usually as open minded as my pals online I easily forget how friggin uptight a large portion of the world is. We sex-positive people have a huge job ahead of us!

    I too have some stuff that I’d be eager to swap. And if anyone has a surplus of lube and wants to sell it cheap, contact me! We go through so much lube.

  5. The Butterfly Temptress says:

    What an awesome idea! I’m sorry that the world still seems to be so full of such narrow-minded people, but I think their loss could very well be my gain!

    Let me know what’s what because I have things that I’d love to swap also.

  6. Diva says:

    My favorite line is still the one asking you to use little words and educate them of what a sex blogger is. Makes me chuckle when I think of it.

    Let me know if you need any help setting up a swap site. I think it is a wonderful idea.

  7. garbonzo says:

    Who’d have thought that sex was so…dirty? I have some stuff I would be more than happy to swap, and none of it involves socks.

  8. Riff Dog says:

    That is too funny!

    Lesson 1 – Never assume that just because someone can use a computer means that they have any sense. That lesson gets pounded into me time and time again.

  9. Epiphora says:

    LOL. That one argument reminds me of the “if we let gays marry, soon we’ll be marrying animals!!!” argument. So amazing…

  10. Roxy Harte says:

    I am laughing so hard tears are running down my face!
    Reminds me of a sex toy party (and I use that discription very litely… Pure Romance Party to be exact) with my critique partner, not realizing that everyone who would be there would be 100% straight and 100% vanilla…

    Oh my…

    One of the women actually said, “My husband would divorce me if I brought home a vibrator because he would consider it cheating on him.”

    Worse…several others agreed with her.

    The vanilla world is a very exotic place to visit. Thank Goddess I don’t live there.

    ~ Oh. My…….wow. just….wow. I might have to blog this comment.

  1. February 25, 2009

    […] The other day Lilly twittered something about her and Sinclair causing some problems on a swap site.  It turns out this site did not take to kindly to two sex bloggers wanting to swap some of their items there among the vanilla world.  It you want to know more of the story you can read it here. […]

  2. March 17, 2009

    […] So, we started doing some research about how to develop a little network for toy swapping, and after a bit of drama, we settled on […]