Jan 282018
 

Zumio Classic Review - Zumio shown on top of multi-colored papers with craft scissors and a paint markerI don’t think I’ve ever held a sex toy as awkwardly as I hold the Zumio. It doesn’t endear me to the strange, purple antenna. Every single time I’ve used the Zumio I curse the button location. They had so much room to work with, but instead one button is nearly inaccessible to me. And so, this review begins on an ominous note. I’ll warn you right now: while many other reviewers really enjoyed the Zumio I’ve found too many quirks and problems to be able to recommend it. I’ve had my Zumio since November. Like the original Womanizer I didn’t want to like it, but suspected I would. Unlike the Womanizer I found I was different from most folks who’ve reviewed it. I consider myself to have a very hearty and stoic clitoris but even mine cowered in fear of the sometimes-painful Zumio.

Don’t Tell Me What To Do, Zumio

Many sex toys that I like end up being pretty versatile – you can use a lot of G-spot vibrators externally with great success, many clitoral vibes are great for perineum, penis, testicle, external anal stim, labia stim, etc. I’d say that the only sex toy I really love that is limited in use is the Womanizer and all other varitions/knock-offs. I’ve been told that it can work great applied to the frenulum on the penis but haven’t had my partner agree. But the Zumio – right out of the gate they’re telling you how it’s supposed to be held and then damn near giving you a paint-by-numbers diagram of how to use it, and what spots to hit in which order. There are literal instructions on how to achieve this supposed (not guaranteed) 60-second orgasm that the Zumio was invented to provide.

It wasn’t until I really poked around the website that I realized why it’s so awkward for me to hold and use the Zumio – I’ve been holding it “wrong”. They’re holding it like a paintbrush and I’m still holding it like, well, a vibrator. With the buttons facing me and the body perpendicular to my vulva. So I tried to hold it their way and it was worse – the power button is the most obvious to my fingers so I kept accidentally turning it off because I just couldn’t remember that the other buttons are that damn far down the body, so close to the tip.

Folks who are flatter in chest and tummy and can easily see what they’re doing, folks without reach issues and “short arms” will find this less awkward. Folks with less pubic mound padding and less labia may not have a problem accessing the top-most1 button but the top-heavy feel of it in your hands, the overwhelming feeling that you’re not about to buzz your way to orgasm but paint your clitoris, may deter you like it’s deterring me. Those with wrist/hand pain/arthritis may also find that holding the Zumio is painful.

I also want to address another aspect of Zumio’s prescriptive stance: their early marketing “studies” and ridiculous “proof” of the ultra-quick orgasm that is supposedly the hallmark of the Zumio. Early on they kept throwing around these comparisons and percentages that, frankly, are a terrible way to market. You end up alienating people for whom your product doesn’t work. You may make people feel broken. I repeatedly called them out on this and pressed for more details; it was then we found out that this study they’ve been touting like it’s a religious tome was based on a mere SIXTY FOUR SUBJECTS. That’s it. 64. They claimed a wide range of participants but they eventually stopped using these numbers and claims. It also took them awhile to “gather the responses” to give me more data. Can you feel my side-eye from there? I haven’t seen them trot these percentages out in awhile and can’t find them on their site anymore. Hmmm…

But Lilly, Don’t You Love Pinpoint Stimulation?

I agreed to review the Zumio because it’s supposed to be the be-all end-all pinpoint sex toy2 and we all know how much I love pinpoint vibrators. Except Zumio isn’t really a vibrator, technically speaking, it oscillates3. And despite the company’s ridiculous claims and promises of a quick orgasm, I had problems and found that, perhaps, there was such a thing as too pinpoint for me. Quelle surprise!  Sometimes I was able to orgasm in a few minutes  – but I can with the Womanizer, too. Sometimes I wasn’t.

Every other pinpoint vibrator I’ve tried and liked was pinpoint, yes, but they also provided just enough extra surface area to stimulate more than the exact spot they were honing in on, not to mention stimulating the internal clitoris legs to some degree. Not the Zumio. For once I had trouble finding my spot, that one spot on the right side of my clit, because the tip of the Zumio is so precise and rigid that I simply don’t feel much pleasure until X marks the spot. It was a frustrating game of pin-the-tail-on-the-clitoris. Zumio acknowledges this on their site, buried in the FAQ. If you look at the question “Is Zumio as strong as a vibrator?” you’ll see that they say no, it is not. “Vibrators shake everything that touches them including the clitoral region, hand and arm and even the entire body. Your body is full of nerve endings. All of them pick up these energy pulses in some form and can be overwhelming signals to your brain. It’s like a sledge hammer to drive a tack!”

Your entire body? Really?

It is a big pet peeve of mine when a sex toy manufacturer puts so much emphasis on putting down other, similar products. You don’t need to be like “Vibrators? PAH. THEY SUCK. TRY ZUMIO” to get sales.

The Zumio claims to replicate the feeling of your finger circling your clitoris – which couldn’t be farther from the truth. It feels exactly like what it is – a vibrating plastic tip. It’s intense. It feels a lot like if you took the vibrator motor – the kind with the off-balance head that wobbles around – and applied it directly to your clitoris. I would know, I did that once with my first sex toy.

I’m also usually a person who needs pressure – whether it’s applying pressure to my clitoris or needing a vibrator that won’t be diminished under the “pressure” of my surrounding labia. When I apply a very light amount of pressure, the sensations change and feel less intense and almost more rumbly, if that’s possible. But when I apply a little bit more pressure the Tip stops moving completely although the motor is still going. A number of times during use as I tried to find the right combination of my spot and Zumio placement and intensity I would apply enough pressure for it to stop moving. 

A Strange Orgasm

I can orgasm, but not in 60 seconds, on the lowest setting of the Zumio if I’m aroused or watching something erotic on Tumblr. The resulting orgasm is mild and feels like nothing within seconds. It takes awhile, anywhere from 10-20 minutes.The Zumio is too intense, too direct, for me to continue to use it for additional orgasms like I can with the Womanizer, so if I want another orgasm – because the first one was disappointing – I have to wait a little bit.

I can increase the speed on the Zumio – I can only go to 3 or 4 because any higher than that and it’s even more sensitive to whatever pressure I am trying not to apply – and the resulting orgasm is stronger but afterwards I still don’t feel like anything happened, if that makes sense. At level 3, the Zumio did force an orgasm but it was an empty orgasm. It left me as quickly as it started and I don’t feel it bodily – it’s like the orgasm and its aftershocks are strictly located in my clitoris and I just don’t feel it anywhere else.

Every time I’ve used the Zumio I looked longingly at my Womanizer Pro40 and wanted to abandon ship for it, but “I must continue on. For science.”

A Few SpiroTIP Warnings

FYI, the following is not mentioned in the manual. I’d assumed that the Tip was purely ABS plastic, through and through. But one weekend I was carrying the Zumio in my handbag. When I finally removed it I panicked because the Tip was bent at almost a 75-degree angle. I thought I ruined it completely. It seems that the top half of the tip is bendable wire covered in a plastic of some type? After I accidentally bent it once it was easy to accidentally bend it again, and now the purple plastic in the spot is lighter, showing signs of stress. The moment there’s a break in that covering, the Zumio won’t be safe for use anymore4.

Zumio only gives you a standard-issue drawstring pouch for storage so I feel like this damage to the Tip could happen to anyone, whether they’re carrying it in their pocket, their handbag, their suitcase or even if it’s just in a jumbled nightstand drawer.

This second problem happened as I was preparing to take a photo of the tip to show the damage to the plastic. As I was cleaning my Zumio I noted that a not-inconsiderable amount of dried lube/fluid had congregated in the space between the base of the plastic-covered tip and the silicone of the body. I gently ran my fingernail along the seam, like you do. This caused the plastic portion of the Tip to pop out of the body. I was able to eventually work the tip back into place, as the silicone covering is flexible around the joint of the tip, but the damage was done. My Zumio is now completely dead. The tip is covering a metal rod which feeds into the motor – the metal rod isn’t fixed into place so when it was lifted up along with the plastic SpiroTip I couldn’t get it back into place again so that it works.

Close-up image of the broken Zumio - the plastic tip slightly separated from the body, with a lighter purple spot in the center of the tip, indicitative of where it bent

And this part leads me to concerns about their Limited Warranty…

Notes on the Zumio Limited Warranty

The warranty only covers any defects in material or workmanship under normal use during the warranty period of 1 year after the date of purchase. Is my accident with the bent SpiroTip considered a defect? I spoke with a rep from Zumio who said that no, it’s not considered a defect5 and probably wouldn’t be covered under warranty. Yet they do not warn about this and give you no way to to prevent it happening during travel. I haven’t bothered to ask if my second, and fatal, break would be covered under warranty – I doubt it. At this point, I have serious concerns about the build quality and their warranty.

I would also like to note that despite their constant claims of a 60-second orgasm on their site and social media there is no “satisfaction guarantee” and if this product doesn’t give you the 60-second orgasm they talk so much about don’t expect to get your money back. You wouldn’t expect that with any other sex toy, I know, but this feels like a weird juxtiposition to me.

It’s also noted that, according to the manufacturer, the average life span of the Zumio is about 2 years, which may vary with usage patterns. I suppose this might mean that if you apply a little pressure and if you really love it and use it a lot, it probably won’t last you two years. While the Zumio is 10 times more intense than the Eroscillator, to me, the Eroscillator has a much better track record for longevity even though their warranty period is the same.

An Exceedingly Long Charge Time

It’s not noted on their website but it is noted on the SheVibe page that charge time is “16 hours, from low battery to full battery” and this charge time gets you up to 4 hours of use, but as little as 75 minutes of use if you apply pressure and use it on a higher intensity setting a lot. Since applying pressure dampens the action considerably, you probably will have to increase the intensity, like I did. I can tell you I got nowhere near 4 hours of use on a full charge. I never ran a stop-watch while I was using it but if your use time on a full charge is under an hour then you have a defective unit. You can absolutely just pop it in the charging stand and charge for say, an hour or two, and then use the Zumio again. You don’t always have to fully charge it.

If you’re lucky enough that the Zumio works quickly for you then even just 75 minutes of total use time would equal a lot of orgasms, right? Except that I don’t know how normal non-use battery drainage works here. It’s not a lithium battery, it’s NiMH 350mAh. I’ve had plenty of sex toys lose their charge during dormant periods of use and I don’t claim to know if it’s related to a certain battery type.

Should You Buy The Zumio?

Obviously, I’m not a fan. I don’t hate the Zumio and it’s not the worst thing ever but it’s certainly not what I would expect from an “award winning” sex toy. If I do my best to get over my hatred of their prescribed useage and empty promises full of marketing lingo that makes me stabby, my opinion still slants towards “maybe give this a pass”. The button placement is a major issue for me and while the sensation it provides is certainly unique it’s also only going to be perfectly right for a small portion of people. I can’t just say “if you know you like pinpoint vibrations” because that’s me and I didn’t love it. The Zumio Classic is currently $140 – a lot of money to spend on such a finicky sex toy. Given my problems with the build quality and the extremely restrictive warranty I’m reluctant to recommend purchase. I can’t recommend the Eroscillator instead simply because the Eroscillator isn’t nearly as intense so it’s still apples and oranges. I’d pick the Tango but I’ve been told that for some folks it’s not pinpoint enough. The Womanizer feels nothing like the Zumio but, for me, is much more satisfying and provides a true build-up in intensity from light to “whoa nelly”.

The company has already created a slightly different model, the Zumio Caress, which will be out in a few months. I’ve attached a guide sheet that the company provided me with and it shows that the Caress has a shorter tip made out of softer material (I don’t know what it is) and that it is less intense than the Zumio Classic. The overall design is still the same and with a shorter tip I would have even more difficulty accessing the buttons, making this even more awkward to hold and frustrating to use. I think that I could appreciate the Tip redesign but it needs a body overhaul.

 

My thanks to Shevibe for providing me with the Zumio in exchange for my honest review! You can get the Zumio at Shevibe here.

  1. lowest? depends on orientation – regardless, I mean the “increase” button
  2. according to the manufacturer, of course
  3. but not nearly as effectively as the Eroscillator
  4. Why? Because the cracks in the plastic will harbor bacteria and potentially scratch/abrade/irritate the delicate tissue of the labia and clitoris
  5. In fact, they expressed surprise at what happened and said that it would take “considerable force” to bend the tip – I disagree
May 102014
 

Jopen Ego e5I get a lot of sex toys to review, so recently I nudged my husband to find something he’d like. It’s been a long time since he’s had something he loved for a prostate massager, so after some poking around at Shevibe he picked out the Jopen Ego e5. The Jopen Ego line is specifically aimed at penis and prostate toys; most of the line, in fact, is comprised of cock rings. They have four cock rings, all of them looking like some giant plastic kiddie costume jewelry ring you’d get in a toy vending machine for a quarter. Then there’s the Ego e4, which looks like your average prostate massager – aiming to hit the prostate two-fold, from inside and out. But the Ego e5 intrigued him. It looks very much like your average g-spot vibrator. In fact, I can see strong resemblances to the Envy Five, except that the Envy Five doesn’t have an anal-safety base.

Usually it’s true that what’s good for the g-spot is good for the prostate – something curved or angled, or just big and fat. And while one aspect of the Jopen Ego e5 is good – the motor is located at the end – it has a lot of small issues that don’t add up to a win for him.

The Good

The vibrations are quite nice – much more rumbly than buzzy, and pretty powerful in fact. I wouldn’t call it the most powerful motor I’ve felt, but it’s certainly no weakling. The silicone is nice – no texture, not a lot of drag, but not super silky, either. It doesn’t attract lint and fur easily. And the overall shape is great to be used externally – much enjoyment was had when I pressed the length of it against him during a blowjob. We positioned the vibrating tip to press against the anus, and he received pressure and vibrations against the perineum, balls and base of his cock.  And as I mentioned above, it’s also good that the motor is located in the tip.

Jopen Ego e5The Bad

While the vibrations are rumbly and powerful, apparently straight vibrations are not something his prostate enjoys. It’s overkill, it’s boring, it’s just nothing special. If the Ego e5 had a pulsating function, it would have greatly improved his opinion. And despite the shape of the Ego e5 appearing to be prostate-friendly, he simply couldn’t get it to really hit his prostate. Not to mention the fact that the best position for him during use made the middle “bloop” rest at the sphincter – very uncomfortable indeed. He also kept hitting the button during use and turning it off. The Jopen Ego e5 uses a single button – you click it to turn it on or off, but must press and hold to ramp up in vibrations. Once you’re at the maximum level of vibrations, there’s no way to back down in intensity without turning the vibrator off completely.  There’s also a decent amount of flex in the first “joint”, which he isn’t sure is a good thing. He personally likes a lot of pressure on his prostate, though. Ironically, he’s had better luck with a straight, hard plastic vibe than the Ego e5.

What about the G-Spot?

Honestly I think this vibrator would be better suited for g-spot users. I tried it out before handing it off to him, and while it wasn’t quite powerful enough for my tastes, it should be powerful enough for most. And, this would give us g-spot people another damn color choice besides the pinky-purple that Jopen seems to think we want. The gender binary and stereotypes are strong with this company. The entire Ego line only comes in royal blue, while most other Jopen lines only come in “femme” colors.

Should you get it? Jopen Ego e5

At the end of the day, unless you think this would make a great g-spot vibe, we can’t recommend the Jopen Ego e5 for prostate play. After failing with this style we began to think that the e4 would suit him better, but then we read Incendiaire’s review and found out this baffling bit: on the e4 the motor is located in the external arm. What the fuck? Why? Regardless, the Ego prostate massagers just don’t seem to be worth the price tag. I honestly don’t see him ever using it again for its intended purpose, but we may pull it out for blowjob assistance now and then. Of course, I have an aresenal of other vibes that work just fine for that application.

 

Thanks to Shevibe for hooking us up! I hope to find him something else wonderful for prostate massage in the near future. For now, the list of possibilities includes: the Nexus Gyro Xtreme, the Fun Factory Duke, or the Lux LX3 Plus. Anybody have any experience with those?

 

May 052014
 

WandsThe Bodywand Original is the latest in a long line of high-powered “wand massager” style vibrators meant to knock your socks off and modeled to rival or beat the power of the famed and fabled Magic Wand. Every so often I get in a reviewing jag of gathering up the recent additions to the wand vibrator category to see if there are any worthy innovations–or lately, if there’s anything out there to rival the Lelo Smart Wand Large. As a result, I’ve got enough wand vibes to host a successful orgy.

There are numerous styles in the Bodywand lineup, but the Bodywand Original is the plug-in electric version. Unlike the old Magic Wand, Bodywand uses the dial to ramp up the power. A lot of other companies use this design as well. The dial aspect does get a bit confusing in use depending on how you hold it. If you’re holding it for someone else, and the head is pointing away from you, then thumbing the wheel “up” or away from you will turn the motor down in intensity whereas thumbing the wheel “down” or towards you turns it up. But if you’re using it solo and the head is facing you, then it works as you would want it to.

WandHoldingSelf WandHoldingOther Wands3

Funny thing happened: as I grabbed my other electric wand massagers to do a comparison, I noticed something very startling; the Bodywand Original is a dead ringer for the Fairy Wand Original. The ONLY differences seem to be the way the Bodywand behaves on the lowest setting, the color, and the fact that Bodywand is “designed in Japan” but made in China, while the Fairy Wand claims to be made in Japan. The plastic body design and the head is utterly identical between the two. While Bodywand boasts a vague “soft touch” material for the head, I’ve found that it’s very similar to the material of the Fairy Wand head, only ever-so-slightly less firm. It’s got a tiny bit of give at the edge, but it’s nothing you’re going to notice in use versus the Magic Wand. Bodywand also does this weird gyrating thing at the lowest level where the entire thing visibly shakes. For some reason on the lowest setting it’s susceptible to vibration dampening when pressure is applied.

Is it powerful? Yes. Do I like it?

Nope. No thanks. Take it away, please. The vibrations are that mixture of surface-buzzy and ultra-powerful that leads to a numb vulva for a little while after use, and an itchy vulva during use. I had the extreme desire to stop masturbating with these wands and just relieve the itching with some very monkey-like scratching. Sure I was able to orgasm but it was a painful orgasm ripped from me like birthing a small baby. I forced myself to climax as quickly as possible just so that I could remove the damn vibrator from my vulva faster. 

What I’ve really been looking for is a more reliable and affordable version of the Lelo Smart Wand Large. I still love the vibrations it puts out, more than any wand ever and more than most all [tooltip tip=”But Lilly, you’re saying, these Wands aren’t internal vibes you silly! When you pair it with a cap that has a dildo-like protrusion it turns into one. I currently have the Vixen caps, Gee Whiz and Gee Whizzard”]internal vibrators[/tooltip], but after 1.5 years of not-frequent use, it started having problems. Others had problems right away. If Lelo would offer up a 2 year full warranty and lower the price, I’d still recommend the Smart Wand Large but until that happens I’ll hunt for something comparable. I really feel that the Bodywand Original’s vibrations are nearly identical to the Magic Wand. Powerful, but just not the right kind of power for everyone. Magic Wand, Bodywand and Fairy Wand all feel the same on high — they’re like a rhino on cocaine, where as the Smart Wand Large is like Barry White.  The power of the Mystic Wand can’t quite compare to these beasts, but it’s just a much more pleasant type of vibration, and so I’m able to orgasm easier with the Mystic Wands.  I can’t really compare the vibrations of the Bodywand to the Wahl 2-speed. The Wahl is just so unlike any of the wands, since the two speeds give such a different experience – one is like a hummingbird, the other like a woodpecker.

The head of the Bodywand Original is compatible with attachments meant for the (Hitachi) Magic Wand. It’s not silicone, so it’s probably somewhat porous, but thus far the material is much more resistant to discoloration and staining than my Magic Wand. However, these damn ridges in the head are super hard to clean sometimes – and at the wrong angle during use can actually sort of hurt. The company makes a g-spot and a “rabbit” attachment that will fit only this model of Bodywand; I tried the Vixen Gee Whiz on it and it works ok…not like the Smart Wand Large, but it’s ok. Although to be fair, I’ve had stand-alone insertable vibes that are more powerful.

Bodywand Original - Showing the difference in heads between Bodywand, Magic Wand and Fairy Wand. Magic Wand head is highly textured, it almost looks like a subtle brain pattern and as a result it looks very dirty compared to the others.

I’d still personally put the Smart Wand Large at the top of the list, followed by the Wahl if my clit can tolerate it, followed very closely by the Mystic Wand with a big gap on the scale before we get to the Bodywand / Magic Wand.

 

Thanks to Shevibe for sending me the Bodywand Original to review!

This is the first in a long line of wand massager vibe reviews coming up this month, all culminating in an epic Wand Off post. Other Wands I plan to review soon are the Bodywand Rechargeable, Doxy Massager, Shibari Halo Wand, and hopefully a PalmPower.

Jan 222014
 

MimiA few years ago I tried out the Je Joue Mimi because a lot of people raved about it. I remember being okay with the vibrations, but not in love. The shape wasn’t perfect for me, but my biggest complaint was the buttons. They were very hard to press. The buttons alone made me never use that vibrator. Then Mimi got a revamp. They added a third button, just for the patterns. On my original, you’d press and hold the + button to turn it on, then press for each jump up in speed, and if you went too far you’d go in to the patterns. Since there was a minus button, you could back out of the patterns easily enough. With the revamp, that bit of irritation was taken away. If you want to ignore the patterns, you can do so easily.  I always wondered if my original Mimi was somehow defective. My buttons seemed very hard to press but also I didn’t seem to rate the motor quite as powerful and rumbly as other reviewers did. I finally got my chance to find out with the new Je Joue Mimi Soft.

This has, of course, the revamped buttons but it doesn’t seem to be all that much stronger than the original. I do think that my original was defective, because there is a tiny bit of a difference — the Mimi Soft feels just a hair more intense. I’m told that Je Joue thinks this is because the vibrations travel better through the soft tip, something I’ve not really found to be true. I’ve found that the more material there is for the vibrations to travel through, the less you feel said vibrations. I personally think that due to the slight bit of extra cushioning from the layer of softer material under the silicone skin, the vibrations on the Mimi Soft do not suffer as much from the Vibration Dampening Syndrome like the original Mimi did.  The buttons on my Soft, I’m happy to report, are pretty easy to use but you’ll find that in any Mimi you buy these days.

So what’s the big deal here? Is it really soft, plushy and squishy?

Not as much as I was expecting, and not as much as the promo photos had me thinking. Maybe not enough to make a huge difference for some. At first, in a blind test, I thought I couldn’t tell the difference during use…..until I applied some pressure. The Je Joue Mimi Soft felt just different enough that, for those who like some pressure on the clit but hate rock-hard vibes, this is their vibrator. I think that the distinction between the two should have been even more pronounced. I would have liked to see a more marshmallow-plush tip, like Vixen’s Vixskin (like on the Raquel), but the silicone skin is pretty tough and thick. If you’re imagining something like the Tenga Iroha vibes, it’s nothing like that. The soft tip is pretty much where most people would want it, just on the tip. I think they could have extended it all the way around. They’re really on to something, here. Covering a hard plastic vibrator in a non-plush silicone skin is confusing. Adding a little layer of squish would be enough to up the comfort factor but not interfere greatly with vibrations traveling through material.

 JeJoueMimis  JeJoueMimis2

Specs, Packaging, Etc

The soft tip does make Mimi Soft just a teeny bit bigger, but it’s nothing to really write home about. The charging style is the same as regular Mimi, a magnetic fob which I don’t love but will tolerate. The box design has gotten cheaper, if you care about that. I remember being impressed with the original Je Joue boxes, hinged lids that tied shut with a ribbon. The outer box is okay, but the inserts to lay it out all nice for presentation are flimsy and won’t last long.  That’s not a big deal, though, I usually rip them apart anyways.

As I dug through the box looking for the ubiquitous soft drawstring pouch that seems to come with just about every silicone sex toy, I thought I found it. Something black, silky……nice material, I thought. Until I went further. It was like a magician’s trick, where they pull the hankie out of their sleeve and it keeps coming and coming, in various shades? Well, it was like that, minus the rainbow. “What the FUCK?” I thought, until I realized that it was maybe supposed to be some sort of blindfold. I checked out the description on Shevibe’s site, since Je Joue’s site has not yet acknowledged the Mimi Soft, and sure enough, it’s a blindfold.

*insert confused and slightly irritated face here*

I can’t really put into words why I find the inclusion of a blindfold at the expense of a nice storage pouch so irritating, but I do. I fully support sex toys being used by partners together, but I equally support solo sex toy use. Both are healthy and should happen. So why include a half-ass blindfold? Actually, no. A crappy blindfold. A men’s necktie would do better. The material is super thin and bunches up easily, feels awkward in use and plain old doesn’t work. It’s a waste of material that would be better spent as a storage bag. If someone actually wants a blindfold, they’ll buy a proper one; if they’re curious then there are plenty of things that people already have around the house to use as a makeshift blindfold that would be better than this thing.

Verdict

Of course, We-Vibe’s Tango is the most powerful of all of these, but the Mimi Soft and the Leaf Fresh+ seem to almost be neck and neck with vibrations yet the Fresh+ wins by a nose as the shape works a little better and there’s less vibration dampening. Of course, the Fresh+ is louder than the Mimi Soft, too. Minna Limon though is more rumbly and deeper-reaching, yet the shape means it doesn’t work quite as well for me as the shape of the Fresh+ or Mimi despite it seeming to be a little more powerful. Lelo’s Mia 2 ranks in just a little less powerful than the Mimi Soft, while still being powerful enough to work for me. A similar idea in design, the Tenga Iroha Midori is much less powerful and even less user-friendly in terms of shape. The Lovelife Smile ranks at the bottom in terms of vibration power.

Crappy, out-of-place blindfold aside, I actually really do like the new Je Joue Mimi Soft. It’s not my tippy top favorite, but I’d rank it in my top 10 clitoral vibes I think. It’s just about $10 dollars more than the regular Mimi, which is around $88 currently.

 

 

Jan 152014
 

OhMiBod, known for it’s music-enhanced vibrators, now has a bit less high-tech line called Lovelife. Inspired by the founding couple’s lengthy relationship1, everything in the line is moderately-priced and sized. The Adventure, the triple-stim, is about as adventurous as the line gets (so it’s aptly named). I was offered the chance to review the entire Ohmibod Lovelife line, but these days I tend to be more picky and prefer to review things that are either A: Popular & new B: Might actually work for me C: Seems too good to be true.

 The entire Ohmibod Lovelife collection

I’ve got the Cuddle and the Smile. The Flex kegel exercisers didn’t appeal because of the design and the silicone string – I’d already determined from the Bedroom Kandi line that I dislike stretchy silicone “strings”.  The Share cock ring was out because vibrating cock rings are useless for my body. The Discover seemed too small for me; Dream is just too straight and boring. Adventure seems to be the most promising of them all, if you like triple-stimulation. I don’t. But, Adventure has three motors, one for each stimulation point. If the clit and anus stim motors are the same as the Smile, though, that wouldn’t be ideal in my opinion.

As you can see, yes, the entire OhMiBod Lovelife line is very femme, right down to the packaging. Pink overwhelms you, a bit like Shelby’s wedding in Steel Magnolias. The box is nice, though, for storage–if you need discretion, this would offer it as there is no logo or words on the inner box. Pink is Suki’s favorite color and it’s awfully expensive, according to Brian, to start off a new line when you’re not a big company and offer a number of color choices2. I’ve suggested something like a turquoise-y teal or an emerald green; Brian’s confirmation of color trends wasn’t exactly surprising, but interesting info for a sex nerd like me3.  So all of that being said, I’m not gonna jump on them totally for everything being so uber-femme. I’ll wait to reserve that for when they come out with more colors. I’d really like to see more gender-neutral stuff, but the focus on literal hearts and flowers is hard-wired in. The control dial on the vibes is heart-shaped and the clitoral nub on the Smile is heart-shaped, for starters. It appears that the boxes for each are slightly different in their design, but they’re all still mostly very femme.

Ohmibod Lovelife Cuddle Smile LovelifeBoxes CuddleCompare

While I thought Smile would be the one I’d prefer out of them all, it let me down. Smile’s vibrations are decidedly more surface-buzzy and don’t work for me at all – moderate in power, it is less powerful than the Lelo Mia 2, maybe even less powerful than the We-Vibe 3 by a hair. The heart-shaped nubbin was a bit smaller than I expected it to be. I thought that the style would work out for how I’m built, but the nub would have to be a tiny bit bigger to be a true match. For women with a more exposed clitoris, though, this style will work well if you don’t need powerful vibrations and like pinpoint stimulation. It is VERY pinpoint.

Cuddle‘s vibrations range deeper with some decent power, probably just a hair more intense than the Lelo Gigi 2, but the exact same type of vibrations. It’s not enough intensity to actually work for me as intended, a g-spot vibrator, but that’s also in part to the entire thing being too short for me to comfortably use as well as a relatively thin shaft (1.25″ at the max, but it gets pretty narrow as it gets closer to the handle).  Cuddle seems to compare easily to the Lelo Gigi 2 in terms of general size. If you like the idea of the Gigi but hate that pronounced flat-head tip that can catch on the pubic bone for some, you might enjoy Cuddle. The minor ridge on the shaft could be enough for the more sensitive folk for g-spot stimulation.

As for the rest of the specs, I prefer the jack-style charging to the magnetic versions, but this charging style means that the Lovelife line isn’t waterproof, just splash-proof.  The only charging cable you get is USB, so AC-preferrers need to have a USB-AC wall plug on hand. On all units, the pink portion is silicone – the silky, matte finish that you expect on higher end vibrators. The plastic is ABS with a silky PU coat making it feel just like the silicone. At first I had issues with working the rocker-button style control pad but quickly figured out my issue (hint: RTFM. Always.). The control pad is similar to older-style Lelo designs (like the Gigi/2) but is much, much easier to use. You do have to click for each setting, rather than click-hold-ramp.

I do like that most of the line is under $75, and nothing is over $100. They seem to be about the same quality as Lelo, but significantly less expensive. Actually, given the quality declines seen in Lelo in recent years, they are probably built better than Lelo.  While the pieces I’ve tried didn’t thrill me, they don’t offend me either. The pink-femme scheme isn’t enough to make me pan the set, and I do think there are plenty of people out there who could enjoy these toys. In my eyes these rank better than the iPod-styled vibes and the Bedroom Kandi line. Thanks to Goodvibes for hooking me up, and Brian for answering questions and giving me some great info4.

 

  1. Brian, co-founder of OhMiBod, says: “We started out with pink simply because its Suki’s favorite color.  Since the line was inspired by our “lengthy” relationship (26 years now) it made sense for us to do something that resonated with her. The names we picked from the cornerstones of our relationship – things important to us.”
  2. Brian says: “our plan is to branch out into more colors as quickly as possible.  It’s really costly, especially for a tiny company like ours, to afford to do everything at once – but its definitely on the product roadmap for 2014. We’re not sure what color(s) we’ll go with but would welcome any suggestions from you – if you feel like chiming in. We’re currently in the process of collecting color preferences from people like yourself.”
  3. Brian says: “We had a bunch of colors initially in our Naughtibod range which we sold in all the markets (both our web and resellers) – and by a long shot Pink and Purple were the favorite choices followed by Black and Blue. We killed orange and yellow because the numbers were too low to support.”
  4. He was pretty gracious, despite the fact that I turned them down on their offer to send me the full line, because I knew most of them wouldn’t work out for me
Dec 062013
 

LeafFreshPlusWhen the first Leaf line came out, there were lots of happy people when they saw an entire line of sex toys in GREEN. We don’t get green very often. And I tried one of the line, but was a bit underwhelmed1. I never ended up trying anything else from that line; not for lack of trying, really but I also wasn’t going out of my way to insist on getting one.  When I was informed of the new Leaf+ line, I was intrigued. The press release I received2 actually states that they are using a different, more powerful Power Bullet motor in the Leaf+ line. I really wanted to like a vibrator for once this year, so I went straight to the source and asked Leaf which + model would be the strongest. They told me that they felt that the Leaf Fresh+ was the strongest.  Why? Well, I had to ask.  Sean Marshall of BMS Enterprises, the parent company behind PowerBullet and therefore all vibrators using it, answered my questions: 

The Leaf Fresh+ (and the original Fresh) were the perfect size and dimension to allow us to get the right power we were looking for. With the newest motors, the Fresh+ is even more powerful and still the most powerful in the collection. The other 3 current designs still feel amazing. Life+ would probably be the second most powerful. Vitality+ and Bloom+ feature 2 vibrations each, with each motor offering a slightly different sensation. One is a deep vibration (strong and pulsating), while the other is a little quicker for a more intense vibration.

The Leaf+ line does have one minor downfall in my eyes – it’s purple. I don’t hate purple! I don’t even hate pink. But it’s nice when we’re given a color that doesn’t feel standard. It’s nice to step outside the box. But of course, you can’t have two versions of the same shape in the same color:

We wanted to create something new but something that still had the essence of what Leaf was. Since our plan was (and currently is) to keep Leaf going, we didn’t want to confuse stores and customers by keeping everything the same colour. We chose the purple since we still feel it had an earthy tone to it. We originally began an eggplant purple, which evolved into this colour. It may just seem like another purple, but we had a many meetings and went through a lot of colour options to arrive on something that we all liked and based on feedback, our customers would appreciate as well. It needed an identity of its own and I believe we accomplished that quite well. And hey, leaves change colour, so why not a vibe as well?

But, the Leaf+ line does have improvements! Mainly the improvement lies in the better motor. The button now glows. Is that an improvement? I guess so. It glows and blinks every time you change the mode. There are 2 added pulsating modes….good if you like your vibrator to tease, not great if you want to get off. Each pulse mode has a half-second too long delay where there are no vibrations, and kinda kills the mood for me. The travel lock feature is now easier to use, too, apparently. The old style involved a series of well-timed taps. With the Leaf+, you just have to press and hold for like 5 or 6 seconds. It’s a long hold time compared to other travel locks, but since there is only the one button and you have the option of press and hold to turn it off, there you have it.

Clarification:  To turn it on, and cycle through the settings, you click. Original Leaf line uses the click and hold method to ramp up the vibration intensities. Since the vibe has only one button plus travel lock, they had to change that style. To turn it off you can either press and hold for 3 seconds, or click through the settings (5 settings in total – 3 power levels, 2 patterns).

Quirks

When it comes to most vibrators that have only one control button, in order to turn this off you must press and hold the button OR cycle through all of the settings. In theory, just like the We-Vibe Tango, if you press and hold the button to turn it off when you turn it back on it will be at the same setting you left off at. Unlike the We-Vibe Tango, the Leaf Fresh+ gets a little trigger-happy and quickly jumps to the next setting or two whilst you’re busy holding the button down for it to rapidly turn off. Usually, when I go to turn it back on, it will actually turn on in the mode I intended for it to turn on at, the last one I was using. Usually. It’s not always the case, though.

There are two pattern settings, neither of which I like. Granted, I don’t like 99% of the patterns I encounter in vibrators. I want straight vibration, give it to me. The first pattern quickly escalates through the three intensity levels in a fluid change, and then just as quickly goes back down where it spends a full second (or so it seems) doing nothing. There’s too much time spent in intensity levels other than the highest. The second pattern is a rapid pulsating burst of 4 or 5 pulses which are maybe low or maybe medium, I can’t quite tell which….and then a low hum of nearly nothing for the same amount of time (a full second?). If you like teasing from your vibrator, you might enjoy these.

The Good Stuff

Okay, back to the good points. It’s covered in matte silicone, the kind that does have some drag but resists most dust/fur/lint. Some people might prefer to use lube.  It might pick up some dust and lint but I’ve not had any problems yet (unlike the We-Vibe Touch).  It’s waterproof, easy to clean.  It is relatively quiet; it is noticeably more quiet than the We-Vibe Tango but louder than the Minna Limon. It will arrive in the same Leaf signature box, which is cute and sturdy and the same drawstring burlap-look pouch as before.

I really like the vibrations in this. A lot. Is it strong? Yes. As strong as the We-Vibe Tango? Eh, no, not quite. It is more rumbly than the Lelo Mia 2, and a bit more powerful as well.  I like the vibrations better than the Je Joue Mimi, way better than the original Leaf Spirit3, it’s stronger than the Tenga Iroha and the vibrations are a tiny bit stronger than the Minna Limon. It doesn’t seem to suffer from the dampened vibrations during use nearly as much as the We-Vibe Touch, so in use it ends up bring stronger.

LuxuryClitoralVibrators

I don’t feel that the shape and size is as versatile for me as the We-Vibe Tango4, and I prefer the hard plastic of the Tango, but I like the shape of the Fresh. It works well with my vulva and clitoris, and there is a place to hold it where holding it won’t dampen the motor. It’s comfortable. Dare I say, ergonomic, even?  And since it has travel lock, I’d be a bit more inclined to travel with this over the We-Vibe Tango. The charger is also better to me than the magnetic style. It’s a long, thin jack and you can only screw it up if you don’t push it all the way in. But there will not be the issues of the charger falling off the vibrator, like you have with the magnetic style charger like the We-Vibe Touch/Tango, Je Joue Mimi,. etc.

LeafFreshPlus-ChargingPort

Despite the fact that the Fresh+ doesn’t exceed the We-Vibe Tango for me, I still like it. Would I feel safe in recommending this to others? Sure I would. Will I actually continue to use this? Yes. And it’s safely under $100, so it’s not ridiculously priced. There is no obscenely long warning section in a big user manual. It’s fairly easy for anybody to use and figure out. In short, I approve of the Leaf+ Fresh+ . Plus plus. We’re unsure where the pluses go in the name. 

Shevibe.com provided me with the Leaf Fresh+ to review in exchange for my honest opinion. I really think you’ll like this little vibe, and since Shevibe is my favorite store, I highly recommend that you buy it there, right now!!

  1. And rightfully so, it seems. According to Sean from BMS: “The Spirit in my opinion is a great little vibe for its size, but you’re right in that it isn’t the most powerful one in the collection. Due to how thin and tiny it was, there isn’t a lot of space for rotations.”
  2. Actually it was more like a release given to retailers…I swear to god, my email address is on a damn list somewhere that names me as a retailer. I was quite confused when BMS Enterprises sent me the info. They weren’t actually asking me to review it, but luckily SheVibe let me!
  3. Between Sean’s confirmation that it is stronger, and my memory, that is. My Spirit is dead, as I apparently never bothered to recharge it from it’s initial charge and if you don’t use these rechargeable batteries they drain out and die, never to be resuscitated I guess
  4. But really, what else could be as versatile as the Tango? It does so much