
in random thoughts, real life
This weekend had a lot of creativity in it in many different forms.
First on Saturday night after a lovely long bath taken together, husband accomplished something that was previously so rare that I thought it a fluke. I orgasmed from oral sex. It happened to me only *once* before and I’m not sure what that guy did that was so different (I didn’t bother figuring it out because as it turns out, his ability to get me off orally was his only good trait). Husband employed a new method of spreading my labia with one hand coming from above while the other hand was busy trying to fist me and in general abusing my g-spot in the most wonderful way. We’d gotten me verrrry close in the past but couldn’t tip me over the edge; all prior sessions ended with a vibe on my clit. I had been about 1 minute away from reprieving his poor mouth and asking for the vibrator when suddenly it became possible that maybe, just maybe, I was almost there.
We were both pleasantly surprised, and I was shocked at how intense the orgasm was (probably due to the g-spot stimulation). I even twittered our accomplishment in the wee hours of the morning/late night, I was so giddy. Literally, giddy. It was another one of those blended orgasms that leaves me a laughing/giggling mess after I come.
In other news of creativity, I realized on Sunday that the Toy Swap Network that Sinclair and I started is a year old this week! In honor of that I created a new banner + theme for the site. I showed husband the design after I was done and he immediately said that it reminded him strongly of the Nick Bantock “Griffin and Sabine” series that we both loved. Nick writes these short books that are almost more about the art than the storyline, but I love both equally. Most of his books are presented as a story told through correspondence between the fictional characters. One side of the page shows the front of the postcard, the other shows the written side of the postcard. Scattered about are letters; folded up sturdy letters in envelopes glued to the page that you actually get to pull out of the envelope, unfold and read like you’ve just found a shoebox of correspondence buried in your backyard. It’s unique and cute and all around awesome.
My design inspiration for the new site was that it’s less about just the sex toys and more about the swapping. Mailing. Packages and stamps and so forth. (btw deviantart.com is a huge resource for awesome photoshop brushes)
I’m hoping to get our current members back into being more active; we’ve seen a slow rise in swaps and items being listed, so I’m hoping the anniversary will bring back some older members and even new reviewers who have toys to swap.
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in reviews
The bulk and details of my actual review are over at Edenfantasys, but since I can’t post photos there, I’m doing it here. This item is something that I did as a “buy-out” review, meaning I got a 30% discount so I paid for most of it. I’m super picky on what items I’ll actually buy simply because I know me….and I know I’m super picky. Nothing is worse than the feeling of “Oh wow, I just spent over $100 on something and I don’t like it” (hello, Eroscillator) but even us reviewers take risks. So you get two things here in this post that won’t be at my review on EF: lots of photos, and product comparison.
First I have to say this: I do not know why (Devine won’t give us details on the EF forums) but this is a Limited Edition case. The black one that I have sold out quickly at first and I feared it was sold out for good. I put an alert on the item and thankfully it was back in stock in less than a week. The black is now sold out again, and we’re not being told if that’s permanent. If you like this, and like it in black, put an alert on the item and jump on it.
This is my second Devine toy case to review, and my first one (the satchel) didn’t rate very high with me. It was essentially a bag with no pockets and a flimsy divider down the middle; I also took issue with their very cheap and easy-to-break padlock. Given the grand design of this case, I had really high hopes for improvement and in all but one area, there has been improvement. So let me get the bad out of the way before I show you the rest. The lock. It’s a very old-school luggage lock. The key is nothing but a prong shaped thing of cheap metal, and as you can see in the photo below it has bent already. Given the design of the lock though, that doesn’t matter, which tells me that the “key” is worthless. Anybody with something resembling this key can get into the case. Bobbypins, anyone? So it’s not a secure lock in the presence of adults. The lock just pushes in on a spring. Should that spring break it will never lock again but will hopefully still keep closed.
This case is a lot bigger than I anticipated. Which is both good and bad. The Hitachi easily lays down inside of it. You can over-fill the center portion because of the design of the lid. The divider is snug against the base of the case, because both are firm. The divider failed on the satchel because the base of the satchel was not solid. The divider can be removed, it’s velcroed in there. They give you a little mesh pouch there and an elastic band. There’s two mesh pouches inside the lid. Mine holds my flogger in one and the attachments for my Wahl and Eroscillator in the other.
This thing really can hold a lot of toys – I don’t have a high number of toys in here in these photos but that’s because I chose all big ones. There is, of course, a downside and that is once I had all this stuff in there? Holy fuck I could barely lift the case! Granted, I’m a weakling.
In the one photo I laid in there the entirety of the Black Label accessories kit for my Liberator Ramp & Wedge combo. In another here I’ve got an Impressions paddle and a 15ft hank of hemp rope. If you’d like to use this case to transport your play session bondage items, you could fit a LOT of rope and leather in here.
As for the other toys in there? Hitachi, Wahl, Eroscillator and Pure Wand on one side. A custom made dildo from Hans, the Nobessence Seduction dildo, the Jollie and a book.
So you can’t exactly talk about one sex toy case without comparing it to another. But yet, how can you when they’re so vastly different? For You Nymphomation cases are truly secure and locking, because they all use better quality padlocks. The bigger cases like the XL Toy Box that I own have removable pouches and little velcro-shut tabs. Your stuff doesn’t just lay in there in a heap. Of course the smaller cases by FYN they do just lay in there. The Devine cases are almost all decidedly very femme. FYN cases can be more gender-neutral. The FYN XL Toybox and ToyChest are not thick/tall, but this means they can fit under the bed. The Devine Playchest? It’s not going to be as easy to stow away, and it’s so pretty that it begs people to ask about it.
All in all, I’m happy I bought the Devine Playchest and I won’t always be using it for sex toys. I can see this coming with me on the train to NYC (but never would I take it on a plane and deal with TSA). If you think you’d like one, hurry!
in reviews
Aneros vs. Nexus Neo
A number of years ago, my husband decided to explore prostate play and his main purchase for this matter was an Aneros brand prostate massager, the Aneros Maximus. These types of toys aren’t exactly butt plugs, but I suppose that some could be worn that way. They have an odd shape to them that is designed specifically to work the prostate or P-spot; these aren’t mean to be thrust like a dildo so in that regard it’s more like a butt plug. Prostate massagers work with your muscles to slightly move and massage the prostate. He quite liked the Aneros; for solo use it had a big learning curve to get the major P-spot orgasms that the Aneros Forums talked about and it wasn’t a quick orgasm. But when he used it during sex? Whole ‘nother ballgame. Half the time he was able to achieve the mind-blowing p-spot orgasm with the traditional ejaculation orgasm and other times it simply made the traditional orgasm amazing. We used it during sex and blowjobs. And while he liked the Aneros, it wasn’t perfect in design. See that tab between my fingers there below? (The Aneros is white) That tab is meant to press against the perineum, to add prostate stimulation from another angle as well. But that tab isn’t very comfortable; when you’re talking about something pressing into you like that, a little more surface area is better and doesn’t hurt. The Nexus Neo make that portion wider and added in a metal rollerball. So yes, that metal bit rolls in the plastic housing – not that you’re moving the toy enough to really notice. It just means it glides along skin better.
Use of Nexus Neo
Prostate massagers aren’t for guys who enjoy the “fullness” sensation because they’re usually not very wide or long. They’re not meant to be. I can tell you from second-hand knowledge though that once you learn the ropes, these toys can give AMAZING orgasms and highly pleasurable sensations. Some guys try these prostate massagers and feel a bit underwhelmed the first time. Guess what? So did most women the first few times they tried g-spot massage. Just don’t be silly and give up after a try or two.
I know that when I use g-spot toys, I don’t always aim for a g-spot orgasm – many times the g-spot pleasure sensations are enough to set off an amazing clitoral orgasm; it’s like the two are directly tied together in that regard for me. They can be separate – but together? I see fireworks. And that’s how it is for him. Just like us trying to achieve g-spot orgasms, the p-spot orgasm is similar in its’ elusiveness. It requires some focus and a few tries and more than 10 minutes but it’s worth the effort. Since he found the Aneros I have been recommending this type of toy to friends and bed partners and the ones who’ve tried it? Love. It. Now that we’ve found the Nexus line (which we see as an upgrade), these are the ones I’ll recommend over Aneros. I can’t recommend the Nexus Neo enough, for solo play or couple time. They even have a couple of vibrating models that we have yet to try out, one of which is the Nexus Vibro.
Care and Cleaning of the Nexus Neo
These toys are made of hard plastic which is non-porous, easy to clean and phthalate-free. They’re super easy to clean with just soap and water (or toy cleaner liquids or wipes) and you can use any kind of lube you want. In the package is also this little plastic piece that’s a bit confusing if you don’t read the website or the manual (just remove the insert from the packaging). I finally found out that it’s so you can pop out that metal rollerball for proper cleaning. Since the ball rolls around in the socket, there’s a micro amount of spacing around it where fluids can gather (just like how a rollerball pen works).
Edenfantasys.com sells a lot of sex toys for men, and generously gave us this toy to review. Thank you!!
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in Ask Lilly
I’d say about once a week I am asked by my readers to recommend sex toys. Men, women, couples…..specific queries or newbie general “I just want a sex toy” questions, I get them all.
And you know what? I genuinely like doing it. Unless of course the asker gets too personal and creepy – I’m basically your sales associate….not your sex surrogate. Overall though most are nice and respectful requests. I don’t just rattle off a few typical suggestions, though. I gather the data about the person/couple using the items and I go digging. I love doing this for people, because I like helping and sharing what I’ve learned, but it’s not a quick process so it’s really nice when they go buy the products I recommended via my affiliate links.
Today’s Ask Lilly segment is a recommendation list for a couple who have never used toys before.
The Details:
She: doesn’t orgasm clitorally very well from fingers or tongue and (much like I used to be) tends to have her hubby go for g-spot play during sex. Is probably curious about vibrators for both area
He: is also looking for a toy to initiate himself with. What good is finding your prostate if you don’t have the right tools to make it happy?
They: are looking for items that can be used together, or for just her on her own. Willing to try a few things out in the first go and spend a little more for better products, but without buying only luxury items. They are trying to increase her pleasure level overall and get away from the frustration they both feel when she doesn’t orgasm.
G-Spot Recommendations:
Normally I recommend my beloved Pure Wand to everyone, but if you’ve never owned any toys, I think you should learn the new adventures of you + sex toys with something a little more forgiving than metal. I also find that the Pure Wand is more about solo play than him using it on her.
1. Lelo Ella – I never tried this one because I already loved my Pure Wand, plus I had already figured out that I need the shape of the Pure Wand to work with my arms & body. But Ella is rated very highly by many of my peers.
2. Jollie - Since he has a girth a little above average, at 1.5″, I felt that she would be able to handle the Jollie. Some women who are accustomed to a slimmer cock might not be as receptive to a filling toy like this right out of the gate. I like the Jollie because of that odd handle which can massage the clit, or have a bullet vibe stuck in.
3. Lelo Elise – I recommended this as a G-spot vibe if they’d like to give vibrations a go. It’s not overly powerful like putting a Gee Whizzard hat on the Hitachi, and the vibrator will be a nice addition to play.
Clitoral Recommendations:
It’s hard to tell if her preference for g-spot play and inability to have a clit orgasm is because she needs a level of clit stim that fingers and tongues can’t provide, or she’s so overly-sensitive that their attempts are sensory-overload for her. Either way, I’m going for the lower-pitched vibrators because they’re more universally liked. Unless it’s known that she does indeed have a clit o’steel like me, I’m not going to recommend the powerhouse vibes like Hitachi or Climax Twist or Acuvibe.
1. Fun Factory Layaspot – This is in case she can’t handle the more powerful vibrations. It has the right pitch and many levels of vibration intensity. It can be intense enough, it’s gotten *me* off, but it’s a diffused sort of vibration, rather than the pinpoint that a bullet can be.
2. Doc Johnson Harmony Bullet – I think that this bullet has the right mixture of being nice to look at, fairly well made, and powerful at the right vibration pitch level.
Prostate Recommendations:
Prostate toys can be used solo or in couple play. Masturbation, blow jobs, even sex – having something in your butt pressing on your prostate will make your toes curl and your whole body sing.
1. Lelo Bob - it’s very simple and basic in it’s design. Non-threatening, good for beginners
2. Nexus Neo – really want to make a good go at prostate stimulation heaven? I’ll be properly reviewing this one soon, husband has been liking it! But it wasn’t his first, so the girth was good for him. Prostate toys with this weird blobby shape are on the right track – just like the vagina, the butt isn’t a straight canal. The Nexus Neo works with the natural contractions in anal muscles to massage the p-spot. It can be used for beginners to just enhance cock-centric orgasms, or by advanced players with time on their hands who can have p-spot only orgasms.
in reviews
I’m pretty fond of my clit vibrators and I harbor a special fondness for my old red pocket rocket. It was the first clit vibe that I bought and shockingly it ended up being the best as far as power and vibration frequency. Since it’s only a cheapie pocket rocket though (I bought it for less than $10), I know it’ll die so I’ve been trying to find a replacement. While that need isn’t as dire anymore thanks to my beloved bullet vibes, I’m still interested in finding inexpensive sex toys. I keep my eye trained on this category of vibes at Edenfantasys and picked this one out recently. It’s a little bit pricier than I personally think a pocket rocket vibe should be but there are more expensive ones out there. At least this one has functions and is more justified in being over $20. I see plenty of single-setting pocket rockets that are over $25 and for as simple as these things usually are….that’s unwarranted. If I was able to find a kick-ass simple one for under $10 and a damn respectable one with bells and whistles for under $25….those other manufacturers need to take a closer look at things.
One thing I always hated about my old red one was that if it was “off”, it was in two pieces. There was no happy medium there. Most of the newer pocket rockets I’ve reviewed, even the simplest ones, beat that out but they never had the same oomph as my good old standby. I chose to review the Ultimate Massager by Nasstoys because they’re the maker of my old red one.
This one is a little more than just a pocket. Although it does still look like one and frankly there’s nothing in the mainstream market resembling these so it’s not exactly discreet. It’s small (5″ long and about 1″ around), so I can’t say that it would ever pass as a massager of ones neck or shoulders. Unlike most pocket rocket vibes, this one has 3 different power settings and 7 other functions. These vibrator manufacturers sure like their pulsing functions, don’t they? I’ve personally never really bothered with them. Give me straight vibration any day. But since this one does offer up variety, it will appeal to a wider range of people. When this is in the “off” position, the two halves are still firmly together. The vibration intensity is really decent, and the frequency is nice and low. It’s not *quite* as powerful as old red, but it’s close. Yes, for my clit, that fraction extra of power makes a difference. I would rate this higher than a few other PR’s that I’ve owned (the one from Babeland, their branded one, sucked ass and the plain white Doc Johnson one was nearly as worthless) and recommend it.
There is one seeming constant in the world of pocket rocket vibrators. Those stupid little plastic caps that they include. At least this one included a domed, smooth one which I actually kinda liked (surprisingly). But they all like to include ones with nubs. Spikes, even. Listen – hard plastic tiny spikes that vibrate do NOT belong near my clit. There is only one use for that, in my opinion, and that is in S/M play because it ranges from itchy/irritating to OW. Since there is no pouch included with this (or most any) pocket rocket, you’re likely going to lose those silly caps. One of my 4 has already become a cat toy. I think the spikes massage her gums when she noms on it.
I’d recommend this, unless you’re looking for a very inexpensive one or unless you have a clit o’ steel like mine. While I am not disappointed in it, it’s not yet going to replace my bullet vibe or my old red one. Keep in mind though, as usual, that this will indeed work for most women. And I do mean most, especially since it has three power levels.









































