Dec 022015

CuRious-WandWhile I love all that Njoy does, they haven’t done anything new in years so I’m always open to exploring other quality metal sex toys. A few months ago at SHE NYC I had the chance to talk to the guys of CU in Bed, who make copper alloy sex toys like the CuRious Wand. Why copper? We’ll get to that in a minute. But it’s part of the reason why I’m so torn on recommending it – it’s a trifecta of issues, really: Odor, design and price.  I cannot help but compare it to the Pure Wand, so you’re going to see a lot of heavy comparison going on.

A Handful of Pennies

I’ve found that quality grades of stainless steel don’t have a metallic odor; I own stainless steel sex toys, silverware and a wedding band. None have ever made my hands (or anywhere else) smell of metal. But the CuRious Wand … it has a distinct odor of pennies, without the pretty copper color1. I’m not sure how I didn’t notice this aspect when I was at SHE NYC because I fondled their prototype a LOT. But, the prototype I was fondling also had a mild copper color to it–I don’t know if this made a difference. I don’t see how it could. I was pretty surprised when they sent me one to review for Shevibe and the metal odor hit me pretty strong. Brief fondling left my hands reeking like I’d been holding a handful of wet coins. The odor on my hands doesn’t seem to last very long if I rub my hands on something fabric.

If that sort of smell doesn’t bother you then one of my biggest issues with the dildo will not be a problem for you. We had a collective conversation about this on Twitter, then I did a little poll and it seems that I’m in the majority. But let’s get to the question many vagina-owners had – does it make your vagina, your natural fluids, smell/taste like metal? Yes. I had the CuRious Wand in one hand, leaving the other untainted by copper odors, and used it for a few minutes. The fingers untainted by metal odors that then had my fluids on them smelled different. Very different. Almost like there was a bit of blood in my fluids (which is odd, right? Isn’t the iron in blood what leads to that smell/taste?). When I smelled the combination of my fluids ON the CuRious Wand I actually found the odor really offensive. Like I wouldn’t want to be the person using this on someone else with a vagina because the smell bothered me a lot. Maybe it won’t react with your vaginal fluids like that, maybe it will. I also wasn’t using lube — I personally do not need lube with slick toys like metal and glass and adding lube would just make me too wet. Would a covering of silicone lube or coconut oil help hinder the odor? I tried and found that it did, minimally, but I only used it that way for half a minute. I’m not sure what would happen if that were my entire session. I think that for SOLO USE this might not bother everyone. For coupled use it could be more of a problem. If I simply wash my hands right after I’m done using the CuRious Wand then it’s not going to bother me as much.

A Boring Design

So even though the design is similar (double-ended, curved) yet different (the shapes of the ends, the length) I cannot help but compare the CuRious Wand to the Pure Wand. After all, the Pure Wand IS my favorite dildo of all times. It’s perfect for me. And herein lies the biggest reason why I’m reluctant to recommend it: The CuRious Wand was boring for me. I must have switched back and forth from Pure Wand to CuRious Wand a dozen times and the difference in perceived intensity to my g-spot was obvious. The CuRious Wand was like a 4…5 at best while the Pure Wand was an 8-10.

My vagina was bored. My g-spot wouldn’t wake up. And occasionally it would stroke the vaginal wall that’s shared with the rectum, opposite the g-spot, in a way I found uncomfortable. Also, the CuRious Wand is shorter than the Pure Wand. For ME this matters a lot. The length and curve of the Pure Wand is one of the top reasons it works so well for me. It’s easier to manipulate, easier to reach. And while the CuRious Wand and Pure Wand are pretty close in weight2, the Pure Wand’s weight seems to factor in to one reason it’s working well for me. Another factor: The Pure Wand’s bulb has a definite edge to it. The CuRious Wand does not, really, not in use. That edge on the bulb of the Pure Wand is a big factor in the magic it makes for me. The CuRious Wand just slid around, not really doing anything for my g-spot.  If you hate things with an edge that catch your pubic bone (and if you loved the Lelo Ella) then you might prefer this design. Size-wise, the ends seem to be fairly similar, although differences exist just because of the design. The triangular design of the head means that it’s not 1.5″ wide truly, like the Pure Wand is (and even at the widest, CuRious is still just shy of 1.5″).  The prostate end is very tapered, unlike the distinct ball of the Pure Wand. The curve overall seems to be less pronounced although I don’t possess a maths degree or protractor to figure it out for sure. I’m also unsure about the anal safety of that teeny little flare that happens in the middle. Would the hammerhead style of the bigger end serve as a stopper? What if you preferred the bigger end for your anal play? I can’t say I’d feel comfy calling it anal safe that way.


Why Copper? Or: Lilly Bumbles Through the Science

Let’s talk about the metal, why it’s so expensive, and why this is supposed to matter. According to the research they found that copper can kill E. Coli and other bacteria just through contact, whereas other materials could not. This matters if you use it anally (and one end is supposed to be the prostate end). I can’t see why this would matter for vaginal use. The creator has said that it will not kill the good bacteria in the vagina because 1: it only works during contact, not afterwards and 2: if you cover the dildo with lube then there’s no contact at all with the mucus membrane and therefore no bacteria-killing going on. Update: Only DRY copper kills bacteria so if it’s in use, then it’s not going to be killing anything at all. It’s only when the dry item is sitting there after being cleaned3. They cited a lot of stuff to me in an email about how copper IUDs are used all the time in the uterus, and most people don’t react badly to it. I’ve read anecdotal reports online where some people think that their copper IUD caused yeast infection. I couldn’t find evidence to support it or even disprove it. Then again, the copper of the IUD is pure and meant to be “free floating ions” while the CuRious Wand is just a copper alloy. Of course, if you think you have an allergy to copper, don’t buy their products.

Anyway, so, the lube inhibits the bacteria-killing aspect, as does simply having a lot of natural vaginal fluid, according to what they’ve said on Twitter. Seems to me that where we really need the bacteria-killing aspect is for anal play, but anal play requires lube so……? Update: Only DRY copper kills bacteria so if it’s in use, then it’s not going to be killing anything at all. It’s only when the dry item is sitting there after being cleaned.

The magic is supposed to happen after you’ve washed it. Anything that might still be on the Wand will get killed off by the copper. When I tried to talk to the creators about cleaning methods that would, you know, sanitize (isopropyl alcohol, 10% bleach solution soak, boiling) the argument is that you can miss a spot. If there were grooves, ridges and crevices, sure. But on a single-piece tooled, polished metal Wand? Even a plug? I don’t see the need, personally.  This is the part where, regardless of the fact that the design didn’t make my g-spot happy and the metal smell bothers me greatly, I should be feeling that there is an exigent NEED for this product in copper and I’m not convinced yet.

Their videos page uses the tagline “At least you know it’s clean” a lot. Whether it’s someone else picking up your dildo and kissing it4 or a baby playing with it5, the insinuation is the unlike any other sex toy material, “at least you know it’s clean”. Their FAQ page challenges the “body-safe” terminology by saying that “body-safe” merely means it doesn’t leach toxic chemicals. Maybe to come people it does, but not to me. To me, body-safe = non-porous or microporous.

Until the introduction of our antimicrobial copper alloy massagers, “Body safe” had nothing to do with antimicrobial. Currently, all available materials, except our unique copper alloy, will allow bacteria to live and grow on its surface for weeks… E. Coli can survive as long as 16 MONTHS (yes, MONTHS) on standard surfaces such as Stainless Steel and Silicon!

The “silicon” typo is theirs, not mine. Listen, I have never had any doubts about the cleanliness or safety of any silicone, stainless steel, glass, or (properly coated) wood sex toys I use or recommend. Not unless they have deep seams or an abundance of hard-to-clean ridges. I feel that a proper sanitizing clean in between uses of those materials could allow someone to safely use the same toy for vaginal and anal use. CU in Bed disagrees with me. Only their CuRious Wand will provide that safety and cleanliness. Their website copy insists that no other sex toy on the market is as safe as theirs. I can’t get behind such limitations. It really feels like it’s going too far to induce fear about every other single sex toy material out there. After reading over their website, plus the papers I picked up when I spoke to them at SHE, I feel like a key convincing “WHY” is really missing. They quite likely covered it when we were talking at SHE but first of all that was in September, second I was in a fuck ton of pain by that point, third my memory is shit. Anything and everything they would have told me at SHE that could have convinced me of its need to be on the market should be abundantly clear on their website. This dildo at Shevibe is $229. I won’t recommend anything that costs that much unless I love it. Unless I feel that it is so unique that it fills a void. Unless there is substantial evidence, enough to convince a jury of sex bloggers, that the copper aspect is invaluable.

My CuRious Wand came with a small drawstring pouch embedded with copper that will help kill bacteria (but only when the fabric is touching the surface of the toy). I actually think that the bag is worth buying, moreso than the dildo. If you just put your sex toy in the bag and rub it around and store it that way then you could have the benefits of the copper without the expensive dildo. I actually hope that Shevibe continues to carry the bags.

One last bit on the science part – I’ve included a copy of this sheet they included with the informational data I got at SHE (front and back). They are saying on this that even products with Triclosan (that’s the green line on the graph) or Silver (Ag – you’ve seen this in Tenga 3D sleeves) cannot legally claim to be antimicrobial, but copper can.  I’d like to see what Tenga says about this, actually.

Tl;dr – I’m just gonna tell you to buy the Pure Wand at this point.

I’m going to invite the creators to respond to any questions you all may have, or things you want clarified. I just ask that you be respectful and civil, please, with your discussions. I’d like to thank CU In Bed for sending this to me, because I was very curious about it. You can get it at Shevibe if you feel that my issues would not be issues for you. I would also like to hear your thoughts on the copper aspect, especially if you disagree with me on its necessity. 


  1. Could I overlook it if the Wand were a pretty copper color? Honestly there’s a chance I could. A chance
  2. The Pure Wand is actually heavier by only 2 ounces
  3. Thanks to Fuga Periculum for finding this
  4. First comes the WTF factor then the overtone of a lil shame that is bugging me
  5. again, what? that fucker is heavy!
May 102014

Jopen Ego e5I get a lot of sex toys to review, so recently I nudged my husband to find something he’d like. It’s been a long time since he’s had something he loved for a prostate massager, so after some poking around at Shevibe he picked out the Jopen Ego e5. The Jopen Ego line is specifically aimed at penis and prostate toys; most of the line, in fact, is comprised of cock rings. They have four cock rings, all of them looking like some giant plastic kiddie costume jewelry ring you’d get in a toy vending machine for a quarter. Then there’s the Ego e4, which looks like your average prostate massager – aiming to hit the prostate two-fold, from inside and out. But the Ego e5 intrigued him. It looks very much like your average g-spot vibrator. In fact, I can see strong resemblances to the Envy Five, except that the Envy Five doesn’t have an anal-safety base.

Usually it’s true that what’s good for the g-spot is good for the prostate – something curved or angled, or just big and fat. And while one aspect of the Jopen Ego e5 is good – the motor is located at the end – it has a lot of small issues that don’t add up to a win for him.

The Good

The vibrations are quite nice – much more rumbly than buzzy, and pretty powerful in fact. I wouldn’t call it the most powerful motor I’ve felt, but it’s certainly no weakling. The silicone is nice – no texture, not a lot of drag, but not super silky, either. It doesn’t attract lint and fur easily. And the overall shape is great to be used externally – much enjoyment was had when I pressed the length of it against him during a blowjob. We positioned the vibrating tip to press against the anus, and he received pressure and vibrations against the perineum, balls and base of his cock.  And as I mentioned above, it’s also good that the motor is located in the tip.

Jopen Ego e5The Bad

While the vibrations are rumbly and powerful, apparently straight vibrations are not something his prostate enjoys. It’s overkill, it’s boring, it’s just nothing special. If the Ego e5 had a pulsating function, it would have greatly improved his opinion. And despite the shape of the Ego e5 appearing to be prostate-friendly, he simply couldn’t get it to really hit his prostate. Not to mention the fact that the best position for him during use made the middle “bloop” rest at the sphincter – very uncomfortable indeed. He also kept hitting the button during use and turning it off. The Jopen Ego e5 uses a single button – you click it to turn it on or off, but must press and hold to ramp up in vibrations. Once you’re at the maximum level of vibrations, there’s no way to back down in intensity without turning the vibrator off completely.  There’s also a decent amount of flex in the first “joint”, which he isn’t sure is a good thing. He personally likes a lot of pressure on his prostate, though. Ironically, he’s had better luck with a straight, hard plastic vibe than the Ego e5.

What about the G-Spot?

Honestly I think this vibrator would be better suited for g-spot users. I tried it out before handing it off to him, and while it wasn’t quite powerful enough for my tastes, it should be powerful enough for most. And, this would give us g-spot people another damn color choice besides the pinky-purple that Jopen seems to think we want. The gender binary and stereotypes are strong with this company. The entire Ego line only comes in royal blue, while most other Jopen lines only come in “femme” colors.

Should you get it? Jopen Ego e5

At the end of the day, unless you think this would make a great g-spot vibe, we can’t recommend the Jopen Ego e5 for prostate play. After failing with this style we began to think that the e4 would suit him better, but then we read Incendiaire’s review and found out this baffling bit: on the e4 the motor is located in the external arm. What the fuck? Why? Regardless, the Ego prostate massagers just don’t seem to be worth the price tag. I honestly don’t see him ever using it again for its intended purpose, but we may pull it out for blowjob assistance now and then. Of course, I have an aresenal of other vibes that work just fine for that application.


Thanks to Shevibe for hooking us up! I hope to find him something else wonderful for prostate massage in the near future. For now, the list of possibilities includes: the Nexus Gyro Xtreme, the Fun Factory Duke, or the Lux LX3 Plus. Anybody have any experience with those?


Jan 292010

I’d say about once a week I am asked by my readers to recommend sex toys. Men, women, couples…..specific queries or newbie general “I just want a sex toy” questions, I get them all.

And you know what? I genuinely like doing it. Unless of course the asker gets too personal and creepy – I’m basically your sales associate….not your sex surrogate. Overall though most are nice and respectful requests. I don’t just rattle off a few typical suggestions, though. I gather the data about the person/couple using the items and I  go digging. I love doing this for people, because I like helping and sharing what I’ve learned, but it’s not a quick process so it’s really nice when they go buy the products I recommended via my affiliate links.

Today’s Ask Lilly segment is a recommendation list for a couple who have never used toys before.

The Details:

She: doesn’t orgasm clitorally very well from fingers or tongue and (much like I used to be) tends to have her hubby go for g-spot play during sex. Is probably curious about vibrators for both area

He: is also looking for a toy to initiate himself with. What good is finding your prostate if you don’t have the right tools to make it happy?

They: are looking for items that can be used together, or for just her on her own. Willing to try a few things out in the first go and spend a little more for better products, but without buying only luxury items. They are trying to increase her pleasure level overall and get away from the frustration they both feel when she doesn’t orgasm.


G-Spot Recommendations:

  1.  Lelo Ella – I never tried this one because I already loved my Pure Wand, plus I had already figured out that I need the shape of the Pure Wand to work with my arms & body. But Ella is rated very highly by many of my peers.
  2.  Prism V – Amazing g-spot curve, firm pressure, phenominal vibrations and a good price point. I LOVE the Prism V. 
  3.   Njoy Pure Wand  is my holy grail, and works for a lot of people.


Clitoral Recommendations:

It’s hard to tell if her preference for g-spot play and inability to have a clit orgasm is because she needs a level of clit stim that fingers and tongues can’t provide, or she’s so overly-sensitive that their attempts are sensory-overload for her. Either way, I’m going for the lower-pitched vibrators because they’re more universally liked. It’s also hard to know if someone prefers pinpoint or broad stimulation. This list will give a little something for everything, and stay right around or under $50.

  1.  Fun Factory Layaspot – This is in case she can’t handle the more powerful vibrations. It has the right pitch and many levels of vibration intensity. It can be intense enough, it’s gotten *me* off, but it’s a diffused sort of vibration, rather than the pinpoint that a bullet can be.
  2.  Doc Johnson Black Magic Bullet – I think that this bullet has the right mixture of being nice to look at, fairly well made, and powerful at the right vibration pitch level. 
  3.  Vibratex Mystic Wand – This provides rumbly power that isn’t as overwhelming or itchy as the Magic Wand, but works for those who like broad stimulation.


Prostate Recommendations:

Prostate toys can be used solo or in couple play. Masturbation, blow jobs, even sex – having something in your butt pressing on your prostate will make your toes curl and your whole body sing.

  1. Jopen Lust L13 – Fairly powerful vibrations in the blobby-shaped design that seems to hug the prostate.
  2. The Mood Naughty set – This is an affordable introduction to the blobby-shaped prostate design; it doesn’t vibrate, and instead you need to really clench your butt PC muscles to get it to work, but that clenching happens naturally during sex.
  3. Tantus Prostate Play – This can vibrate, or not, it’s up to you. It’s a good size and a little bigger for more intermediate players.