Posted by Lilly | 17 Comments

What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever masturbated with?

I wonder how many people have the cohones to truthfully respond to this question?

I will allow you to be anonymous and won’t spill the beans if I know who you are, I promise ;)

My confession:

A bedpost. Oh I know what you’re thinking. Like this, right? No no. no. The one in question was more like this. Yes it was long, and I yanked it off the bed. Yes I was desperate for anything that had a chance at helping me orgasm since I had nothing that could vibrate.

Why was it dumb?

1. Because it was probably dusted at some point using a chemical spray, like Pledge.

2. The accidental ramming of my cervix resulted in an hour or two of moderate cramping and spotting later on.

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Posted by Lilly | 9 Comments

Wanton Wednesday: A Week of Phone Porn

Monday

First full day with the new phone

Sammi ( what, I can’t name my phone?) has replaced my netbook for at-home-but-don’t-want-to-be-in-my-office web browsing. It facilitates stuck-in-traffic amusement. A spark here and there as I glance at a TwitPic from some hot chick, or follow a link from Twitter to a hot post.

Tuesday

Ooohh, fancy camera!

Tuesday shows a return to WW after I found some really artistic camera-effect apps. I’m still looking for more and playing around with settings. My only gripe is that I find it a lot harder to take self-shot camera-phone pics with this new phone, as the “shutter” button is on the touchscreen and a lot of fumbles and mis-fires occur in trying to get a decent pic.

Wednesday

Raising the heart rate

I’d forgotten my ipod, and haven’t yet put music on my phone, so I puttered around on Twitter and such during my lunchtime walk. Someone I follow was retweeting links to some chicks TwitPics and uh…..wow. (also, I’m such a “guy” sometimes, I get frustrated if there’s a lead-up of sexy pics and no vulgar display of vulva) This chick had a gorgeous body and loved to show it off. Yay! Of course this also left me incredibly horny.

Thursday

stealth reading

While browsing the archives of my current favorite haunt for makes-me-wet written erotica, and subsequently trying to manually jerk off in the ladies room, I was reminded why I used to always have a vibrator with me at work. I finally emerged from the stall with weak legs, a flushed face and an ultimately unsatisfied cunt. I just couldn’t quite get there.

Friday

surprise smut

A much-loved but costly app is the Amazon Kindle app. The app itself is free…..it’s the books that aren’t cheap. I tend to enjoy chick-lit, modern romance books a la Jennifer Crusie, etc. Pure escapist fun stuff. What do we have here? Surprise smutty sex scene! yay! So now I can purchase hot short-story sexy anthologies for when I need a fix and I’m not able to hold a book in my hand.

Tuesday

heavy breathing….ask and ye shall receive

Long ago and far away there was a young man I flirted around with online and we (especially he) had a penchant for utilizing the “leave a voice message” feature of Google Talk. I’ve always loved listening to people jerk off. Men, women, I love it all. Thanks to cell phones, web sites, and more I’ve listened to a number of people that I’ll never meet as they forget I’m listening and just let…go. The hitch in their breathing, the whimpers and groans and moans, the sighs, the orgasm….. *sigh yum*

So today, I asked on Twitter if any women would be interested and brave enough to leave me a voicemail (and by that I mean heavy breathing etc hehe) on my Google Voice number. I had a couple say they might but I’m still waiting on these gorgeous gals to follow thru ;) One lovely gentleman did leave me a short naughty bit. And one anonymous (I’ll see if she outs herself in comments) girl who left me the MOST delectable voicemail in exchange for the following photo:

I queried on Twitter if perhaps maybe I should put up a Google Voice widget here and see what I get…..and so, I’m doing it. I’m eyeing up a few ladies who said they’d do it if I put the widget up. Most likely it won’t stay up forever. You get only 3 minutes, so make it good!

(type in your initials, nickname, whatever. then your cell phone number or whatever. you can click on “keep private” and i won’t see your number. then answer your phone! it’ll ring, and when you answer it will connect you to my voicemail. simple!)

(oh and, you don’t need to have google voice to do this….your own phone will work, GV calls you from a ghosted number and then you leave me the msg, and it doesn’t tell me your real #)

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Posted by Lilly | 9 Comments

Do you masturbate…..a lot?

Hubs got this today for our kitchen, for those times when your hands are yucky with raw chicken juices or whatnot:

As he was reading the brochure:

The spout sensor soap pump dispenses soap touch-free to help avoid the spread of germs. Simply place your hand under the spout to dispense soap automatically. The elongated spout arcs over the sink basin to keep wet hands and soap from dripping on the counter. Four volume settings allow you to control the amount of soap or lotion dispensed.

He says to me “Hey you could put lube in this!” At first I gave him a look because, well, I can’t see either of us needing that sort of thing but then it occurred to me that it’s not a bad idea for those who like to jerk off often and use lube copiously. Wouldn’t that be awesome to not have to touch anything, just stick your hand under there and you barely need to interrupt the flow of the session!

I can totally picture some of the more hard-core sex toy reviewers enjoying the hell out of this. And, ya know, all you other pervs too.

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Posted by Lilly | 6 Comments

Are vibrators making my clit MORE sensitive??

Be it from uninformed talk or uneducated fear, or both, I know I’ve read in many places that consistent use of a vibrator on your clit will make it harder for you to orgasm without a vibrator. I can list just such a place but Epiphora already wrote a beautiful rant, and I don’t want to link to the asshole’s website any more than as little as necessary.

When you’re using the big bad vibrators like the Wahl and the Hitachi, the likes of which no human could match, I did fear there for awhile that sure I’d discovered a way to finally and reliably (usually) get off but that I could be sacrificing any chances at ever getting off WITHOUT the vibrators. Of course, I hoarded the vibrators -because- it was rare for me to orgasm without them. But it was ok; my hub was fine with it and accepted it. Casual encounters suffered (because I didn’t bring my vibe to a hook-up, lol) but then they usually did when it came to my orgasm.

the past

When I finally learned enough about my own body to know what I should be doing to achieve orgasm (many years later in life than most), I couldn’t manage it with just fingers 9 times out of 10. Partners could do it, but it was just about as rare. Now that I know more about my body, how my cunt behaves after orgasm and so on I’m actually pretty sure that I *was* having clitoral orgasms back then. It wasn’t often and it wasn’t earth-shattering (obviously, because I wasn’t even aware that I was orgasming) but it did happen. I know I enjoyed sex thoroughly and was long-since having g-spot orgasms during sex with my now-husband. But it wasn’t until I got a vibrator (or electric toothbrush) in my hands that I had an actual, pulsating, no-doubt clitoral orgasm. And then? I was addicted. Forever searching for new and improved vibrators. Why do you think I got into reviewing? ;)

the recent past

Vibrators or not, I wasn’t quick to orgasm for the first year or two until I got the bigger vibrators. It took time, more time than I sometimes cared to devote. Fingers got me close….but I either wasn’t capable of going over the edge or I just gave up too soon. I could have counted on one hand the number of times I’d had a clitoral orgasm with no vibrator involved. And I can most definitely tell you that the times it occurred that way didn’t see me as worked up as I’ve gotten while at work. But yet I was never able to come at work  without the aide of a vibrator…..sometimes even then it eluded me.Desperation to come, or not, I was completely unable to ever orgasm at work if the batteries died.

present day

Last month, I had my *second ever* clitoral orgasm from oral sex to the utter shock and glee of mostly me but my hub, too. A few months ago, I came with my silver bullet barely touching my clit….I wasn’t even trying, but boy I was sure watching an arousing scene!

Recently I experienced a new first. TWO orgasms achieved with nothing more than my finger on my clit; two in the same evening, without g-spot stimulation (which had been necessary in the past); two before my fingers/hands/wrists even had time to get tired and sore. The first one I actually had to purposely hold back on. I was watching porn, at the time. Not real porn, no I prefer amateur stuff that’s “we’ve forgotten or don’t know there’s a camera there” type as you well know. Point is…..two somewhat-easy orgasms with no vibrators!! Woohoo! And then a week later? It happened again! Not consistently but that’s to be expected.

But…..how?

Haven’t I been assaulting it now for months and months with vibrators that would make some women back away in fear?

I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth, though. I’m going to continue my non-vibrator research. Oh you betcha!

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Posted by Lilly | 8 Comments

Vignettes: Virtual Peep Show

Webcams are such a glorious invention. Better still is finding a free members-only chatroom that is webcam-capable and located on a NSFW forum. Nakedness is encouraged, orgasms are even better when shared, and it all is an exhibitionist/voyeur’s dream. Sometimes I watch, sometimes I show off. Sometimes I show off while watching someone else show off. It’s safe but its naughty. It’s thrilling yet it’s controlled.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Her webcam is on but she’s still clothed. She’s a regular and everybody knows Hope is going to show off something at some point, so they are watching her feed. Since she’s one of two females in the room that night and I find her hot, I keep my eye on her while I browse the couple other cams that are up. Most are watching, tonight, like me. After some chatting and without warning, she shoves down the straps of her tank top and reveals perfectly tanned (but fake) tits that I can’t stop staring at. I’m sure the others in the room have the same problem. Compliments for her fly by on my screen. It’s mostly men in there; the women are outnumbered. From what I can tell most of the women there are not bi so I’m the only female voicing appreciation and this is noticed by the watchers and by Hope.

My tongue ached to be teasing female flesh right then, it was downright absurd.

I tell her this and she responds by moving the cam down to reveal her bare cunt. My aching need multiplied a thousand-fold right then as I watched a small, slightly-choppy webcam showing Hope proceed to masturbate for the room. I couldn’t hear her because she didn’t have her microphone on that time, but watching was a turn-on enough. I came while watching her second round.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Danielle was another regular who was frequently around at the same time as Hope. She bared her breasts a lot and would do so anytime I coyly asked in chat. One evening when both Danielle and Hope were around, my arousal was kicked into overdrive as both of them began showing off. Luckily I could see both at the same time because it would have been torture to know I was missing out on one. I kept my bullet vibe on low to draw it out as long as possible for me as I stared, mouth open, at the two cute girls who loved to show off.

I let the room in general, and the girls too, know that I was watching and appreciating and jerking off with them. I was encouraged by the greedy, horny men in the room to join them on camera. It was dark, my webcam sucked and I just wasn’t up for being on camera but I figured I could at least turn on my microphone. I watched the little icons light up next to name after name to signify that they were listening to me breathing, sighing, whimpering and moaning quietly. Hope finished first and then the icon next to her name lit up so I knew that she was listening to me. She stared at her laptop with a finger in her mouth, listening to me jerk off as I watched her friend Danielle. That thought alone made it impossible to hold back much more so I ended up coming while about 14 people listened. It wasn’t that I was being spied on that fed me though, it was watching a big dildo hammer away at Danielle’s cunt. Watching her ass clench in what surely was a powerful orgasm.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Women who like to watch guys jerk off can always find one in the room with his webcam on. One afternoon I wandered in to find two people who only had eyes for each other. They both had their microphones on, so I could hear the lusty and flirty exchanges as she stripped slowly for him; him and his hard cock that he was slowly stroking. I heard his groans of appreciation when she was finally topless and playing with her tits. I heard her giggle at that.

They were only paying attention to each other; they ignored the chat and paid no mind that others were watching. They interacted only with each other. I silently begged her to strip the whole way, right along with his begging, and she quickly acquiesced. This was a true voyeur moment for me. This was as close to spying without being known as I could get.

Soon enough we were down to little else than moaning and groaning and sex sounds as they jerked off for each other. She was deliciously loud; loud enough that I had to turn off the audio feed from her and could hear her coming through his speakers. I, of course, had my bullet vibe nestled against my clit but I wasn’t even helping it along. I just sat here almost still. I always have to help the vibe along by pressing it against my clit but I think the combination of seeing and hearing and spying was sensory overload. She was straddling a dildo that was sitting on her chair, rubbing her clit furiously and making an awful racket while working towards her orgasm. He was laying in bed watching her and all I could see was a blur of his hand stroking his cock quickly; he was moaning and talking dirty to her. Via his audio feed and through his speakers I could clearly hear her say “oh god I’m coming”, followed by a loud confirmation. Seconds later he followed suit and their moans mingled, and without warning….I was coming too. With no outside help, no special contortions to press the bullet harder to my clit, no nipple pinching…..I came in my chair, still watching. Then I logged off once I recovered.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My time spent at this forum/chatroom was months ago, but still have other things to write about. Because yes, I did turn on my camera a time or two, so you’ll get to hear about that side of it too.

Edit: Sorry but no, I’m not giving out the site name…..

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