Oct 192013
 

sex-toy-for-couple-playI’ve seen the Heeldo bopping around the industry for a few years, and was always curious. I finally got a chance to review one to see if it would work out like I thought it would.

Yes.

And no.

Many would probably laugh at the concept, and I do laugh at the thought of donning the Heeldo to be used on someone else (gives new meaning to the eloquent term “cunt-punt”), but for masturbation it could be really great for some people.

I, as you know, have troubles with thrusting a straight dildo. But I do so love my Tantus dildos and while their bases usually do a decent job of acting like a suction cup, I don’t have any surfaces in my house that are suction-cup friendly. So I thought that the Heeldo would be my ticket to improved self-fucking.

Sadly, it was not meant to be for me. You really just cannot have bad knees in order to use this for very long (or for some, at all). You cannot have flexibility issues. And you should be on speaking terms with sex-toy-for-masturbation-3(1)squats on a thrice-weekly basis. Great for a fit person with no joint problems though. This would be awesome for people who like thrusting motions with a dildo against their prostate whilst leaving both hands free for penis love. This would be great for anybody for anal play, really, along with vaginal. But really, the more flexible you are, the more use you’ll get out of the Heeldo.  It’s comfortable enough to wear and use, you just have to consider your own limitations, if you have them.  It’s primarily made of neoprene with webbing straps and plastic buckles.

At first I didn’t understand, or identify with, their decision to make a fetish cam girl model their spokesperson, but I get it now. It’s a great tool. Hands-free self-fucking and provides a great visual for their clients with a foot fetish.  One aspect of their marketing is something I just don’t understand – they are firmly entrenched in the gender binary and hetero slant. So much so that their suggestion to use this as a “couples” tool is specific to only “straight” couples. Their idea is that she should use the Heeldo on herself whilst giving him a blowjob.   They could have just left the orientation out of the mix and been more neutral. Why couldn’t a gay couple enjoy this in the same manner? They could. Or a lesbian couple? I’m sure they might like it, too. Take that oral sex idea and remove gender altogether because it’ll work out no matter the configuration. They could have subtly been inclusive, instead of being exclusive.  Under the graphic where they advertise it’s use for prostate play, they do mention gay couples, as more of an afterthought.  When you click on that image and you get to the page talking about using Heeldo for prostate play, they seem to be more inclusive but yet….why feel the need to go this route? “Heeldo for men transcends sexual preferences!  It is the first strap on harness for both gay and straight men.” Oh so, only the Heeldo for Men transcends sexual preferences? *sigh* 

Heeldo comes in some pretty typical colors: Black, Red, Bubblegum Pink and Leopard-print. Industry standard, really, and no imagination.  The sizing is odd, too.  “Women’s” is for US Women’s shoe sizes 4-8. That’s it. The “Men’s” option is for US Men’s shoe sizes 8-12. There’s no really good way of being able to tell that a person who wears US Women’s shoe size 9 should get the “Men’s” version, sadly. If you happen to be female-identified and have a larger foot size, and let’s say you really like pink, you’re out of luck.  According to the site: “Heeldo for Her fits women’s foot 4 – 8 and is available in the black, pink, red, and leopard colors.  Heeldo for Him fits men’s foot size 8 – 12 and is available in both black and red.”

Dear Heeldo:  tone down the extreme gender binary / hetero slant. If they would just change the marketing and language to be more inclusive of the gender & sexuality spectrum, and less rigid, I suspect that more doors could open for them.  Can’t they just have sizing that disregards gender on their packaging and list a size chart describing what size feet it’ll fit, and offer all sizes in all colors?

Overall – it does the job it intends to do. It offers something of an alternative to relying to suction-cup dildos. It’s not going to be a tool that every body can successfully use, but it is definitely interesting.  Issues with gender, colors, and sizing aside, it’s still an interesting product. I would recommend it, I just would feel better about recommending it if some things were changed.

 heeldo

 

I was provided with a Heeldo from the company in exchange for an honest review.

Oct 072013
 

splitdildofuntoysgvibeMonths ago I reviewed the G-Vibe, a split vibrator that reminded folks of the aptly named (both for the obvious, and for how divided the fan base was) Split Dildo. I had read a number of reviews that stated that the Split Dildo was actually painful to use, so I was surprised by how boring and subtle the Funtoys G-Vibe was to use. Recently a Split Dildo became available on ToySwap and I grabbed it up for no other purpose than this comparison review. Dedicated, I am.

While the Split Dildo is noticeably fatter than the G-Vibe, the biggest different is in the pliability of the silicone and the pressure  aspect – by that I mean the amount of pressure it takes to keep the closed ears split and therefore the amount of pressure they will exert as they try to fall back into their natural state. It took me awhile to figure out how best to show you the difference. What I did with the scale is try to exert enough pressure on one half of the split to make it “straighten”, like you would do if it was inside of you. While the Split Dildo is fatter, and therefore heavier (it weighs slightly more than the G-Vibe which is longer and has a motor), the difference in grams required to achieve the same result is drastic enough to matter.

It almost seems like Funtoys directly modeled the G-Vibe from the Split Dildo. I say that only because the angle and length of the split seems to be identical. Just the Split is much fatter. Split is also the type of silicone that easily hangs on to dirt, lint, fur etc. It doesn’t glide easily along dry skin like the G-Vibe does….it is more like the “treated” silicone that Lelo uses, applying a finish that makes it silky smooth with no drag. The Split Dildo does have some drag, and would require lube by most. The thing that is the most infuriating about the Split Dildo is the lack of a handled base. This is not friendly for people with mobility/flexibility issues, and not “fat friendly”, either.

splitdildofuntoysgvibe2splitdildofuntoysgvibe3


I just learned that the infuriating creator of the Split Dildo thinks that only “women who have birthed a child” can like the Split, that the rest of us poor souls have too-tight vaginas. Reading this on Epiphora’s site pissed me off so bad.  Here’s the funny thing. When the Split dildo was actually, finally, properly in place, I wasn’t writhing in pain. In fact, the pressure on my g-spot felt good BUT the pressure against the rectal wall was not good. It was not good at all.  I felt like I was in a race for orgasm and pooping. The orgasm wasn’t due to the Split Dildo; it was helping, as does any toy that puts pressure on my g-spot, but this was not a fun time. At all.

Trying to get the Split Dildo in was harder than trying to get a pair of Spanx on. I prefer thicker dildos, so the problem wasn’t the girth.  It was that I couldn’t hold the tips together /and/ slide the Split in, tampon-like, so there was a moment where the Split felt like it was tearing my perineum because it wasn’t fully inside of me. It was scary, and terribly painful. Screamingly painful.  Overall, I’d only recommend the Split Dildo for those using it with a partner or those who are flexible enough to keep the tips together until it is completely inserted. Actually, I’d go back to just recommending using it with a partner. Because mild thrusting is necessary to get any sort of rubbing on the g-spot, and if you manage to let the Split get too far outside of you, you’re in danger of serious pain coming your way.

So if you owned the Split Dildo and hated it, you should not run in fear of the G-Vibe. That’s not to say that I’d recommend it….I still won’t. I just am saying that the G-Vibe won’t cause pain the way the Split Dildo did for some. If you owned the Split Dildo and loved it? You will be vastly underwhelmed by the G-Vibe. The vibrations are piddly enough that they do not make up for the lack of pressure exerted on the G-Spot and Perineal Sponge.

Actually, I’m just going to recommend against either toy. If we’re gonna go with analogies, think back to Goldilocks and the Three Bears. The Split is Too Hot, the G-Vibe is Too Cold. There is no “just right” middle option. Since I received the Split dildo through my own network, I’m not sure where to tell you to buy it, should I have managed to not fully dissuade you. No one really wants to stock this thing, so I guess you’d have to buy it from the manufacturer.

Aug 042013
 

raptor-xlI wouldn’t say that the Tantus Raptor XL is the absolute largest dildo I’ve owned (the Vamp Greta and Njoy Eleven win that title) yet somehow, at first, the Raptor XL still managed to look and feel as intimidating as those afore-mentioned 2″ dildos. The Raptor XL is 1.75″ wide, and made from a pretty damn firm silicone. The “what sets it apart” factor is the design of the base & balls – which isn’t something I personally care about since I won’t be using this in a harness, just on myself. But of course, the question remains… is it awesome to use?

I’d have to give a hearty “Absolutely!” on that one.

I’ve discovered over the years that I, personally, prefer my dildos to be pretty damn firm. That’s just how I like it. If you’ve already determined that that’s not how YOU like it, then you won’t love the RaptorXL (or even the Raptor) like I do. If that’s the case, please let me point you to some lovely Tantus O2 products or even Vixen Vixskin items. That being said, for those who enjoy a firm material, the Raptor XL is quite lovely if you can handle the size. It’s not dwarfing-a-Coke-can like many Bad Dragon dildos but it holds its own in the larger sized category. When it comes to vaginas, a firm 1.75″ is usually quite tolerable for size queens, but requiring a little warm-up for many.  You can sort of see in the photo below the difference in firmness; I’m comparing the ridged head of a Tantus O2 dildo in black to the purple, firm Raptor XL by pressing in on the material with my finger. 

MaxvsRaptorSquish

The pronounced ridge on the RaptorXL looks perhaps intimidating to some, wonderful to others. Tantus constructed this ridge to be something you will feel, but it is not sharp and ouchy. It’s enough that it can be felt at the entrance and definitely felt on the g-spot, but the chiseled edges ease you around it, it’s not a sudden occurrence. It’s just, simply, really well done. I LIKE IT A LOT. It turns what would be, for me, a ho-hum straight dildo into something way more interesting.

The head is a shiny, polished and more slick texture while the rest of the body has a very slight texture to it. 95% of you will want/need to use lube with it. There’s a little drag to it, but nothing excessive.  I also wouldn’t say that the base performs very well as a suction cup alternative, but I wasn’t expecting it to, either. The design is, of course, phallic but it’s not super-realistic – there’s no foreskin wrinkles, not much to speak of for raised veins, the balls are high and tight. Since I’m not one to care for a super-realistic approach, this design meets in the middle, in between “looks nothing like a human penis” and “makes me feel like Lorena Bobbitt”.

Also interesting is this newer take on balls. Tantus has kept them, to aid in the “realistic fantasy” aspect, but positioned them so that it’s easier to use this dildo in a harness. The balls will sit outside the harness. I personally think that “realistic” shouldn’t apply when the dildo comes in midnight purple and Tantus Orange, but that’s just me. The Raptor XL is a hefty sucker, so you’re going to need a well-made, well-fitting harness, preferably one with 4 straps securing the o-ring rather than 3.  The harness needs to fit you securely and snugly, because the weight of larger, heavier dildos will try to pull it away from your body a bit. Shown below is the difference in a harness between two Tantus dildos that have balls. There are a few problems with both, and I’m thinking that it’s also due to the harness I have. While I fucking adore the Aslan Leather Cherry Minx harness, I’ve found that a 4-strap base is much more practical and secure for larger, heavy dildos. Also, the fat, leather o-ring straps take up too much precious room. To use the Raptor XL in a harness, you’ll have to first make sure that the o-ring is rubber and not metal, as you’ll have to stretch it and angle it to slip over the base – I suggest you pick the 2″ o-ring rather than the 1.75″. I’m also not sure that using the heavy RaptorXL in a “shorts style” harness like RodeoH or even Spare Parts brand would work. 

TantusRaptorXLAslan1 TantusRaptorXLAslan2

So if you like firm, girthy dildos that aren’t too over-the-top and not overflowing with texture, I think you’ll love the Tantus Raptor XL. It’s great for vaginas and butts, is super easy to keep clean and sanitary and could be used in a short-notice dildo-duel. En garde!

 

Looking for something……

…bigger, that is still harness-compatible? Look at the Tantus T-Rex

…smaller, but similar to the Raptor XL? Skip to the original Tantus Raptor

…more realistic, and girthy? Consider the Vixen Lonestar

…less realistic, and maybe a little softer? Definitely the Tantus O2 Cush

 

Thanks to Shevibe for providing me this Tantus item in exchange for my honest review (and for tolerating my lateness on this)

Jul 062013
 

VixskinRaquelFor a long time, I wasn’t interested in dildos. After all, it was in 2008 that I found the Pure Wand and everything after that felt so boring. But as soon as I learned the great brands of the silicone world, Tantus and Vixen, I kept my eye on them. Vixen is consistently the more expensive of the two US-based silicone dildomongers, and they also seem to favor the realistic designs which are not my cup of tea. They’ve always had a couple, though, that were in non-realistic colors and slightly less realistic shapes. After giving up hope on trying a Randy, I kept my eye on the others. Finally I decided on the Raquel, but I knew I wouldn’t personally like it. Yet I still got it.

What? I just really wanted to own a Vixen dildo, to be able to have this brand and their super-awesome VixSkin style in my hands so that I could be a better informed adviser. I r srs dildo adviser. It was on sale so that I could finally afford to get it for myself.

I’ve always liked the Tantus O2 line for their squishy outer layer of silicone. But people always told me that it’s not nearly as squishy as the VixSkin, so I had to find out for myself. They were right. I can’t speak for the other designs but the Raquel has this pillow-y, marshmallow-y bulbous head that would be really great for people who have tried a super firm dildo for anal play but hated the firmness or for people who just really want something softer that won’t ram and bruise their cervix. The Raquel is also a dildo for those who don’t like girth. The pillow-y outer layer isn’t just at the head, as you’ll see in this Vine clip:


However…squishing this thing can get addictive. One factor that I wanted to test was the realism of Vixskin vs Tantus O2…and Vixskin wins. I put the two dildos underneath fabric next to my husband’s bio cock and the Vixskin Raquel felt the most similar. I can only imagine that their more realistic designs would come even closer to the mark, if that’s your thing. Here’s the Vixskin Raquel vs the Tantus O2 Cush:


The Raquel also has an amazing suction cup. Standing up on a flat surface it is surprisingly strong. On a window….not so strong. Of course, the window in question was likely dirty and is 100 years old and probably not perfectly flat.

 VixskinRaquel2

It’s pink. It only comes in pink. Some people will hate this. But it’s a super pretty pink…! The white base is opalescent and so is the pink. I couldn’t really capture that very well in photos. It’s swirly, with depth to the color and is just so very pretty. I’m really not a high-femme girly girl swooning over everything frilly and pink, but the color is damn nice.

VixskinRaquelBase

Overall, I personally like elements of this dildo but it’s not my cup of tea due to the size (width). The length is awesome, but I require either a decent girth or a very firm and definite g-spot curve (like the Pure Wand or the Tantus Raptor XL). As you could see in one of the above video clips, since the Vixen Raquel is a thinner dildo it’s also quite a bit more flexible in the shaft. This lack of resistance or whatnot would possibly make it a bit difficult to use as a suction-cup dildo solo.  I’d still highly recommend this, though, for anal play beginners or those who don’t like girthy dildos poking their cervix. In addition to being anal play safe, it could go in a harness. The base isn’t perfect for this and might creative some bizarre suctioning-to-your-vulva action. Who knows. But  the fact remains that it has a base.  It’s also the type of silicone that is hard to keep clean from dust, fur, etc so be sure to keep wipes on hand for when you want to use this toy.

May 202013
 

BS is Nice - Rainbow G-Spot DildoBS Is Nice”  is a newer silicone company making hand-poured 100% pure silicone products in Madrid. SheVibe.com has started to carry some of their products and graciously sent me one to try out.

BS has a lot of interesting color schemes and designs; some (not on the SheVibe site) are a little less fun and are just single or dual colors. Others are much more interesting. There’s a cow print, one that looks like a sports sock, crazy asymmetrical stripes and zebra stripes. You can see roughly what it’ll look like on the site, but since it’s hand-poured they’re not all going to be exact. The rainbow levels on mine are not quite as uniform as the one photographed for SheVibe, but they’re unique. I’ve seen photos from BS on Facebook where the rainbow levels were more uniform and more thick, going a little farther up. I’d say that the only thing I would improve about the designs where it encompasses the base, is to bring that design farther up from the base just a bit, maybe a half-inch or so more than mine show? When I put my Rainbow G-Spot in my Aslan Leather Harness, most of the colors were hidden, and it didn’t quite fit right in this particular Aslan style. If you want the BS dildos for use in a harness, I’d suggest that they will look best and work better with harnesses that are more minimalistic, or at least don’t have you pushing the dildo through fabric or leather.  The Aslan Commando harness would be better, as would the Sportsheets ones since the dildo only goes through the o-ring, not the fabric. This might fit RodeoH or Spartparts styles, it’s not oddly small or wide, but you’ll cover up most of the design by using those types of harnesses. 

BS Rainbow G-Spot shown in the Aslan Jaguar/Minx Harness BS Rainbow G-Spot - The Rainbow Base BS Rainbow G-Spot in the Aslan Cherry Minx(Jaguar) Harness

The G-Spot style is the only BS dildo style that SheVibe currently carries, but I happen to think it’s a pretty good choice. I’m not usually a fan of perfectly straight dildos (unless the girth is the factor) and this heavily curved design combined with a slightly-flat more snub-nose tip (reminiscent a bit of the Lelo Ella, shown below to compare) will be great for g-spots and even prostates. I happen to have the Medium size, which looks like it’ll give you an extra inch in length over the small, and a little bit more girth. Honestly the girth is hard to measure. The shaft seems to be 1.3 inches wide and the head juts out a little to be more like 1.4, 1.45 inches wide, but the base widens a little bit on a slope, making it sit less flush against a harness o-ring than I’d like. SheVibe does a pretty good job of measuring the items they list, especially when there are multiple sizes available. For size/shape comparison below, I’ve shown the BS alongside the Tantus O2 Cush in blue, and a black Tantus P-Spot dildo.

Showing the tip of the Lelo Ella vs the BS G-Spot Tantus O2 vs BS G-Spot vs Tantus P-Spot

The G-Spot design is just flexible enough for me to be able to straighten it out fully, so for those that really like and almost require a firm curve and specific pressures/angles for g-spot or prostate stimulation might not love this line. The silicone isn’t quite as squishy as the Tantus O2 outer layer, but is quite a bit softer and more flexible than very firm Tantus pieces. BS silicone is about on par with Vamp silicone in firmness. For those that like some give and dislike rock-solid materials, you’ll really like the BS silicone. It does of course gather up fur/dust/link like crazy.

I actually really like the BS packaging design. It’s minimal, yet reusable. It comes in a clear, plastic pouch but it is a very thick mil of plastic, more like heavy plastic sheeting than the bags that a Tantus dildo might come in. And yes, I said reusable. It comes to you like a food item – you tear off the sealed portion of plastic up top and then it has a “Ziploc” style closure for the bag. It’s not discreet since it’s see-through, but it’s great for people who don’t have a lot of storage space options and want to put the dildo in something to keep it clean in between uses.

BS Rainbow G-Spot in Package BS Is Nice Packaging Text

Since it’s pure silicone, you’ll probably need to use lube with this, the silicone dildos usually tend to naturally create a little more resistance (unless they’re super glossy in finish). I’d suggest a water-based lube, pure natural coconut oil, or you can try to spot-test your favorite silicone or hybrid lube on the base. If it gets gummy/tacky in a minute, scrape it off right away. If there’s no change, leave it there an hour and see if there’s any further change (like the lube gets absorbed). To clean these, you can pretty much do anything. Soap and water for most situations, dishwasher, boiling water, or 10% bleach solution if you’re going to use it both anally and vaginally (although never in the same session, please) or share it.

SheVibe.com is becoming known for showcasing the smaller companies, and I think that BS Is Nice offers a few really great choices that are unique. I have a feeling that this rainbow-and-black color scheme will be a big seller. Thank you, Shevibe!!

shevibe

Feb 152013
 

Fucking Sculptures – Small Green G-Spoon

Fucking Sculptures - Small Green G-Spoon Glass Dildo

I’d be willing to bet that at least a few hundred people suddenly fell in love with Fucking Sculptures after my first review, of their Large Gold G-Spoon. And with good reason; these are probably some of the most artistic dildos we’ve seen!

But for those who were intimidated by the heft and size of the Large, take heart: they do make small and medium sizes. Of course, much like in the clothing industry, small isn’t always small and medium isn’t always medium. I have looked at the specs for some of the medium sized pieces up at SheVibe and I was surprised to see measurements that still seemed to be more on the “large” end of the scale. SheVibe was wondering if they should carry any of the Small sizes, and generously sent me one to review for them.

Fucking Sculptures - Small Green G-Spoon Glass Dildo

I won’t keep you in suspense: Yes, SheVibe, please carry the Small sizes! The Small Green G-Spoon, shown here, is actually quite a good size for many people. Not too big, not too small, it feels like the Goldilocks of Glass Dildos. My Small is just a hair under 1.5″ wide from side to side, but it’s more like 6/8″ from top to back; if I wrap the measuring tape around the fattest part, it’s just under 4″. It’s about 8-9″ in length, depending on how you measure. With a straight ruler it’s closer to 8″; if you use a flexible tape and do tip-to-tip it’s 9″. When you see a measurement on SheVibe.com, it means that they have measured the piece you’re buying. They take an average between the two length measurements and use the widest part for the width.

As I said before, handblown glass dildos all will vary in size, color and shape from one to the next. Some brands more than others. I’ve seen Crystal Delights glass toys in person and while there is the expected bit of variance, they do stay in their projected range fairly well. So even though the dildos from Fucking Sculptures will vary, the benefit to purchasing them from SheVibe is that (for now, anyways) the photo you see on the site is the exact piece you will be getting. When you’re dealing with artistic pieces like this, I don’t begrudge them the variances but I do wholeheartedly feel that it would only help matters to list each piece individually (like you would see on Etsy). There are design differences, along with the obvious size differences, between my two G-Spoons and also between these and the ones shown on the Fucking Sculptures site and on SheVibe.com. If I were torn between, say, the red and the gold colors but I could choose between the exact red and gold dildos in this image below (the middle ones) then seeing the shape of the gold one would make my choice easier.

5 Different G-Spoons ~ The top 2 are on SheVibe, the middle two are on FuckingSculptures and the bottom 2 are mine

Where my Large has a very rounded and bulbous end to it, my Small is much more “tongue” shaped and flattened. The Large does have some grooves running down it, but the Small has grooves and then some….indented “holes” (which aren’t holes but appear to be at first) that actually don’t make sense. And they do make cleaning a bit difficult, to be honest. This could just be a design quirk that is purely unique to mine and it will never be encountered again, I won’t know, but this is the only thing that could pass as a “complaint” from me on these beautiful glass dildos. While the Large was able to broadly target my g-spot and offer a full feeling with the girth, the Small allows a little more targeted g-spot pressure without quite as much girth. And, of course, the Small weighs a lot less (my Small is 12 ounces and my Large is 23.5 ounces) . I had first requested the Large from Fucking Sculptures because I prefer my dildos to be long in the handle, but even the small G-Spoon has quite enough length for comfort of use. You’ll of course find different lengths on the various designs. This Green G-Spoon has a little bit more of what I called a “Dairy Queen” curl than the Gold G-Spoon, in fact it’s enough to make this green dildo look a bit more like a vegetable! I found though that it does have a practical purpose: it gives my fingers something to press against for better grip on the handle. Overall I just really like this style and I enjoyed using both sizes. The Green glass is a little bit more consistent with what it looks like in various lighting, whereas the Gold (because it is so metallic) could look like steel in some lights or rich amber in others. The Green also has sparkles – not glitter, I’m sure, but in certain good lighting it’s easier to see than in others. I managed to capture it in the evening setting sun the best. Both colors are really pretty so it’s just down to personal preference; since green isn’t really a color I prefer usually, the Gold is much more my speed. For the many who adore green? You’ll love this. It was hard to capture the exact color and quite honestly in most light I could mistake this for a zucchini at quick glance!

Fucking Sculptures - Green Small G-spoon vs Gold Large G-spoon Fucking Sculptures - Green Small G-spoon vs Gold Large G-spoon

So if you’re more Type A than B, I would suggest looking at SheVibe.com for purchasing these beautiful works of art. It takes a lot of work on their part to photograph every single different Fucking Sculptures dildo that they put up on their site, but if I knew for 100% certain that the dildo in the photo was the exact dildo I was receiving, it would make me more likely to take the plunge. What do you guys think?

Fucking Sculptures - Small Green G-Spoon Glass Dildo

Fucking Sculptures - Small Green G-Spoon Glass Dildo

Fucking Sculptures - Small Green G-Spoon Glass Dildo