But the Porn Star told me to!

 Rants, Thoughts & Opinions  Comments Off on But the Porn Star told me to!
Oct 302010

Porn stars get paid to have sex. We all (should) know this. Anything they do that you see, they are most likely getting paid for it.

Which is fine. I have no issue with that and it’s not the point of my post. My point is that the money makes them endorse shit that, if I were them, I’d be embarrassed to endorse. But endorse they do.  Many male stars have “cyberskin” or “UR3” or just “realistic” vanity cocks made in their likeness; many female stars endorse toys made from the same “realistic” type or jelly.

I want to interject here with one thing, because this is important: Not *everyone* who endorses a toy is endorsing a bad material. Fleshlight/Fleshjack have a ton of porn stars be it for dildos (which are silicone) or Fleshlight masturbators (which are not silicone, but do not contain phthalates).

The men pretty much just do the vanity dildos. The women endorse many things: sex dolls, pussy/ass cross-section masturbators (no clue what they’re really called), dildos, vibrators, sometimes even strap-ons. The top three companies that offer these are 1:

  • Adam & Eve
  • California Exotics
  • Doc Johnson

I found this site that is pretty much a haven for everything endorsed by porn stars. If you have an obsession with a mainstream porn star, you’ll be able to find all their stuff at this place. I’m reluctant to actually link to it because I don’t endorse this site (they don’t just provide the list, they sell the stuff, and many times don’t list the materials of a toy) but if anybody wants to check it out for a good laugh, I’ll share it privately.

I got off on this rant via a referral link2 I noticed in my site tracker, from a forum. I followed it to find a woman asking her forum-mate’s opinions on the Adam & Eve Carmen’s Fun Dildo, 6.5″ Jel-Lee toy that is “Hand-picked by adult film sensation Carmen Luvana” and “6.5” candy-colored Jel-Lee3 dong” *twitch twitch* with “Smooth-gliding Jel-Lee sensations” *GAG*4.

This poor girl has Adam & Eve and Carmen Luvana to thank for the burning sensation that occurred when she put it in first her mouth5 and then her vagina. She mentions how badly it stinks, her friends bought it for her, the coloring is pretty cool but it scares her now (as it rightfully should) and she didn’t know what to do. She tried to do a search on that specific dildo but the only info she really found that pertained to her situation was “oh the smell is fine, just let it air and wash it more” GAH! NO! BAD INFO!

How many times do I have to say that jelly / Jel-Lee sex toys can be dangerous? I’m really thankful that someone on her forum did a search and pointed her to a few articles, mine included, and I hope she knows now that she can continue to use it, be-condomed, or just pitch it. If you really have to have a candy/apple colored dildo, go buy a Tantus Limited Edition Neon one and please, spend the extra money on yourself. Or, for the lady in question, she should make her friends spend the money since they were too cheap to buy her a silicone safe dildo to begin with6.

I really wish someone would ask these pornstars someday if they realize what they’re fucking endorsing and why can’t they have a little more respect for themselves and their fans? Here’s a short list of some female porn stars that lend their face/name/likeness and endorsement to jelly/phthalate-laden toys:

  • Belladonna
  • Carmen Luvana
  • Devinn Lane
  • Aria Giovanni
  • Bree Olsen
  • Casey Parker
  • Briana Banks
  • Gina Lynn
  • Hannah Harper
  • Jesse Jane

I can’t list anymore, I don’t have the ability. It’s just too many and I’m irritated now.

  1. This is not an all-inclusive list, just the Top 3, k?
  2. I don’t want to link to it out of respect for their privacy
  3. Jel-Lee? Is that to try to make it look like a person’s name rather than “horrible material with more chemicals than you can shake a stick at”?
  4. Stellar description text taken from the Amazon link above
  5. She’s a champ, this one, she managed to not vomit from the stench and actually get it down her throat
  6. Seriously I’d be hitting these friends with said-stinky-dildo
 Posted by at 4:15 pm
Oct 292010

For some reason, this review was kinda hard to write. And oddly, that’s not because the Tenga Flip Hole Black is mediocre or bad. In fact, my husband loves. Hell, I love it. I keep finding myself idly playing with it; shoving a finger in and out, caressing the various textured bits inside.

And yes.

I’m having some penis envy.

The Tenga Flip Hole Black is, in fact, so awesome and so geeky and so wow-stimulation-zomg that I really, really wish I had an appendage to stick in there and experience it for myself. I know, I know – I have enough sex toys. But come onnnn it’s so cool!!

This review is really going to be picture-heavy because it deserves a lot of pictures.

Tenga Flip Hole vs Fleshlight in 3 easy steps:

  1. You can use soap and water to clean the Tenga. The Fleshlight requires water only, or in case of mildewing, rubbing alcohol
  2. The Flip Hole opens up clamshell-style for easy cleaning and air drying
  3. The Flip Hole has “buttons”, i.e. pressure points, that allow for much greater suction control or pressure control

The Tenga Flip Hole Black The Tenga Flip Hole resting open for drying

My husband has tried two different Fleshlights. The “original” which has no textures and the widest canal; and the Wonder Wave which has a medium canal and medium texture. Granted there are Fleshlights with more texture and a slightly smaller canal, but he feels that the Tenga Flip Hole Black far surpasses what a Fleshlight can offer for texture. For him, the Flip Hole has now completely replaced his use of the Fleshlight.

Looking down inside the Tenga Flip Hole Black from the entrance The texture of the Tenga Flip Hole Black

Tenga Texture

The Flip Hole comes in both a White and Black version. The White has a less-intense texture. The Black has more texture to it, obviously. The Flip Hole can feel different depending on which side you have facing “up” (the side you can see). The textures are different on each half of it, and the shapes are kinda like mirror images. Where one side has two little nubby balls on the left and right, the other side has one nubby ball in the center and when closed it all lines up. Where one side has two large nubby balls with an entrance slit cut in, the other side has a large convex portion. The clear material has that weird “sticky yet not” thing goin on. If it’s dry, you’re dry, and you touch it it feels sticky (yet your skin retains no sticky). If you’re lubed up or it’s wet, it just feels slippery and lovely. It’s very soft and squishy. Edit: as of 2014 the Flip Hole comes in 4 varieties: White, Black, Red, Silver. White is the softest, Black is the most extreme, Red and Silver in between. This page on the Tenga site explains a little more about them.

The texture of the Tenga Flip Hole Black The texture of the Tenga Flip Hole Black The texture of the Tenga Flip Hole Black

How to Use the Tenga Flip Hole

The Flip Hole comes in two pieces – the masturbator and the “sheath”. The sheath is just black plastic that has a top and little sides. It serves three purposes: To keep it closed and the top entrance covered when it’s dry and ready for storage; to hang the Flip Hole on for air drying; to keep the Flip Hole closed while it’s in use. From the reviews I’ve read of customers, some of them don’t realize that the black sheath is meant to help keep the Flip Hole closed during use. As you can see below, when a cock is inside of the masturbator, the super-soft TPR bulges out – if you don’t use the sheath, it requires a lot of hand strength to keep it closed and it makes using the “buttons” darn near impossible.

Tenga FLip Hole Black Showing the Tenga Flip Hole "in use", with a dildo

The sheath needs to be put on prior to shoving your cock inside; if you don’t, it’s really difficult to get it lined up properly. The edges of the Flip Hole, where the two sides of plastic meet, have a ridge. The sheath has a groove and you must slide the sheath down so that the ridge and groove interlock – sort of like how a drawer works.

When I looked at the Flip Hole online and read reviews talking about the “buttons” on the sides, I thought they actually were buttons. Clicky-clicky buttons. They’re not; on each side there where there’s no black plastic and the TPR shows through, you can see these white buttons. They are attached to a single plate of plastic that’s sandwiched inside the TPR. The button farthest from the entrance increases suction the more you press it (you press both side buttons from each side at the same time); the button closest to the entrance makes the beginning portion more snug; the middle button does the least. When you press on the bottom or top buttons, as you can see below, they really press the material in a lot because of the movement of the plate that they’re attached to. Pressing the middle button just exerts equal pressure on the whole plate and it doesn’t press in as much.

Pushing the Tenga Flip Hole Buttons Pushing the Tenga Flip Hole Buttons Pushing the Tenga Flip Hole Buttons


The Tenga comes with 3 plastic vials of lube, with the cringe-worthy name of “Hole Lotion”. Ugh. Sorry, “lotion” to me means the creamy stuff, this is lube. It is supposed to be 3 different viscosities of lube: Very thin, very thick (so thick it’s pretty much gel. I can turn the tube upside down and it takes a full minute to get it moving a little), and kinda thick; one of them is supposed to be warming but hubs never felt that at all. Other reviews say the same thing. Each viscosity supposedly changes the intensity of the Tenga – the really thin would make you feel all the little intricacies of the textures moreso, the very thick less so. The Tenga requires a lot of lube, especially for a girthier-than-average cock. If you were to like, and use, all three lubes you might get 6 or 8 sessions out of all totaled. My husband however much preferred his ID Glide lube for this.

Make sure you lube up the entrance more than you’d think necessary, as it’s a bit of an effort getting yourself in there at first shove. You do need a good amount of lube but nothing obscene; perhaps overall a tablespoon or two? Just guessing. He didn’t think that the Tenga “absorbed” lube like the Fleshlight seemed to.

Overall Experience – what the Tenga Flip Hole Black feels like

Hubs loves it. He likens the Fleshlight more to sex, in that it might be better suited to guys who’ve not gotten laid in a long time, aren’t dating, and want something a little bit closer to sex. He thinks the Tenga is a bit more like a blowjob, but yet….more complicated. You can thrust a little, thrust a lot or just hold it still and rapidly switch being pressing the top and bottom buttons (I did this to him and his eyes rolled back in his head). And the Tenga IS, in my opinion, somewhat of an almost architectural/engineering marvel. It’s geeky, it’s futuristic, it doesn’t try to look like a mouth or a vulva or an anus. If you need more stimulation and a tighter fit, no matter your size, the Tenga outperforms by miles. Hubs, in order to get “more” from the Fleshlight, even tried using the Fleshlight without the plastic case – to no avail. But the Tenga, with its two different sides, the “buttons”, the varying sensations you can have by changing your lube….it’s just a better investment. I would only not recommend this one for guys who have a very sensitive cock, this would be sensation overload for you.

There’s another point to mention – the temperature. There’s a Tenga Hole Warmer, a reusable tube that gets warm and you can insert it inside the Flip Hole or probably other Tenga masturbators, and warm up the material. Many people that use a Fleshlight highly recommend letting it sit in a bath of very warm water for a few minutes as it greatly improves the feeling of it and the material doesn’t really warm up on its own during use. The Flip Hole though, does. Hubs (and others I’ve read) have said that in just a minute or two of use the material warms up very nicely all on its own.

Care and Cleaning of the Tenga Flip Hole

I’ve mentioned above that you can safely use soap and water to clean this. The fact that it opens up clamshell-style makes cleanup – and drying – a breeze. Cleanup and drying is a big downfall of the Fleshlight. The design makes it more likely that it could be stored when still damp, leading to mildew because the material is very porous. 



Oct 282010

….and it’s not cheap.

Ever since I started my job in the city I’ve had to deal with terrible parking. Be it far away or expensive or in a shady area or a combination of those, I’ve never been happy. The center of the city is where all the professionals are; it’s really only a 5 or 6 block radius and then it makes a stark transition to lower-income areas. And these areas are just not safe, especially for young women. I’m not the only one who’s dealt with guys harassing me as I walk alone to my car. Black, latino or white they all look intimidating and act intimidating. On one street alone, a street I drive down to get to work and that is a mere few blocks from where I park, there has been a rash of violence. Muggings, fatal shootings, arson.

At the current lot I park in, it has the benefit of being fairly affordable at a mere $50 a month and right on the corner of a busy street filled with workers heading home. At least I feel relatively safe while in the parking lot. But walking to it is another story.

I have to deal with two issues: physical safety with crossing the street; and personal safety with the guys.

The physical safety issue is going to get worse this winter with the early sunset and then the crappy, slippery roads. There used to be a crossing guard but he went away when the company occupying the building at the crosswalk went away. Even though it’s state law that drivers must stop for people in the crosswalk, they don’t like to do it. I’ve had people honk at me because I walked through or just fly on by me within a few feet.

The personal safety is one that bothers me. While I don’t think that any of these young guys would actually *do* anything given that there’s always cars around, I’m still scared. Now, when I see a group coming down the sidewalk towards me, I feel fear. I wonder if I can cross the road before they get to me. The last straw came a few nights ago when I was first nearly hit by one car and then yelled at by another driver. 30 seconds later a trio of white tough guys dressed all gangster-like said a few obscene things but I didn’t make eye contact, I pretended that I didn’t hear them and felt it would be enough as I obviously had a pair of hot pink earbuds in. I guess they didn’t see that because their words then turned nasty and frightening and they started to follow me a little. I kept on going to my car and continued to pretend as though I didn’t hear.

And again as I think that I’m “safe” because the only secluded area during my walk is walking underneath a railroad track bridge where the lights are lacking, the trash is high and the cars can’t see you, it’s not like anybody would stop their car and get out if they saw me being attacked. I know they wouldn’t because some woman DID get attacked in this city a year ago, in a different area. By a homeless man, during lunch hour, he jumped her and beat her up. Not a single person tried to intervene.

So I made the decision in short order that I need to change my parking, at least for the winter months when it’ll be dark during my walk to the car and the roads shitty – I certainly don’t need to add a third slip-n-fall to my already bad back / herniated disc. So I’ll be parking in the garage that’s attached to my building but at a great monetary cost. Nearly 3 times the amount I’ve been paying to park in the open lot. My fee will increase from $50 a month to a very hard to swallow $130. I’ll be relying on my advertising and affiliate sales to help foot this bill.

 Posted by at 7:04 pm
Oct 252010

In the last few weeks I personally have been feeling like many readers (and “out” bloggers, and even some other not-out-yet-pompous bloggers) potentially feel like anonymous sex bloggers lack merit, or value, or validity. That without using our real name and/or showing our face, we are to be regarded with suspicion and perhaps disregard. We are characters, we are actors, and we are probably not real. That early 20s girl with the perky tits and enviable sex life? Since she won’t show her face or reveal personal details well then….she must be lying about her sex life! This isn’t to say that the vast rainbow of sex blogger types doesn’t have it’s own false prophets. I’m sure there ARE bloggers pretending to be a whole other identity, just for the fun of it. That doesn’t mean we all are.

A number of members of TBK’s fanclub have voiced that “out” bloggers such as herself are the only type of worthwhile bloggers. The rest of us are merely hiding being our various veils of anonymity, using our internet space to deceive and play tricks. In light of the Alexa scandal, I imagine that this school of thought will be reinforced. And I’m not referring to the entire scandal, involving the deceit of other sex workers, I’m referring to simply her status as a “sex blogger” in the eyes of her fans. I’ve read statements from others this weekend brushing off her lies, saying that all bloggers who use a pseudonym are guilty of using smoke and mirrors to one degree or another, or that we all lie about some things in our blogging, or who was she harming? (read that particular answer here). So please let me clarify some things about myself to you, to the puritans and hunters, to the skeptics and accusers and radical extremists.

~My fiction writing should not ever degrade the value of my other types of blog posts – educational, editorial, personal, or reviews.

~My pseudonym is not meant to deceive you, it is meant for my privacy so that I can speak about sexual things openly and honestly without unwanted people (namely, co-workers and family) reading about my sex life. I have that right to privacy, do I not??

~Just because I do not divulge every facet of myself on this blog, this does not mean I am play-acting. If you’d like more of the “real me” than I care to share on this blog, then all you have to do is follow my Twitter feed (which I keep locked because I lower one of the veils of anonymity).

~I do not personally feel that a blogger is only genuine  if they show their names/faces. I do not feel that the advice & reviews of bloggers such as AAG, Epiphora or Arabella are less accurate or trustworthy just because all I know are their pseudonyms. I did not take EssinEm or Curvaceous Dee or Coy Pink or Britni any more seriously once I saw their full face in photos on their site – and by that I mean they were who they were, I valued them and their words….face shots or not.

I am not at all suggesting that we trust every blogger. But I am also saying that not every anonymous blogger is a liar, or acting, or somewhere in between those two.  Please, stop discrediting every anonymous blogger just based on anonymity itself.  And on that note….if you feel I am untrustworthy because of my anon status…..don’t let the door hit you on your way out.

 Posted by at 12:58 pm
Oct 202010

At 15, I was still scared of boys, sort of. Sure I’d “date” them, and yeah I’d make out with them, but everything else? Terrified. It was because I knew next to nothing about boys, sex, *whispers* penises, and all that good stuff. You learned about sex in one of three places: 6th/7th grade so-called-sex-ed lectures; your equally uninformed friends; your parents (so.mortifying.).

Oh, ’92. So good, so innocent, so….awkward. Way back in 1992, SimCity still had copyright codes hidden in black & white pixelated jumbles in a booklet that required a piece of see-through red plastic to enable viewing of text – without it, you were struck with natural disasters every 10 minutes. Oregan Trail was still fun, sorta, if you didn’t mind the thyphoid. The internet? Did not exist as far as we were concerned. We still used the motherfucking 30-some volume encyclopedia in hardcover for our school projects, as software-based (hello, Microsoft Encarta, long time no see) wasn’t yet available.

Today’s teenagers have the privilege of not just copious internet access, but Scarleteen. Scarleteen provides kids with accurate, safe, embarrassment-free sex education and a place to ask questions. They don’t use scare-tactics, they use facts. At the end of the day, the hormones of a 15-17 yr old are not going to be swayed by a threatening father, a threatening religion, or simple lack of information.

If I had had Scarleteen access in high school, I would not have:

~ thought that my self-worth to men was based on my physical appearance

~ thought that my self-worth to men was based on how “far” I’d go

~ continued to have no clue as to the whereabouts of my clitoris until age 24

~ been so nonchalant about condoms

In short, my sex education/dating education….sucked. It sucked in that it severely lacked. And I know that things aren’t perfect, even now. There’s a lot of mis-information floating around the ‘net, and even some schools providing incorrect information. But this site, Scarleteen, it’s a huge help. It’s a big dent in the “war”. And the problem is….they run on donations. They need help to continue on providing the information and support that teenagers so badly need.

If you read a lot of sex blogs you’re going to be reading a lot about Scarleteen over the next month, because there is a Blog Carnival going on to raise money. So if you’re able, please donate to them. Even just $5 can help. I’m offering what little incentive I can, which I mentioned here. This Bag O’ Swag is up for grabs, and all you have to do to enter to win it is donate to Scarleteen.

Click on the photo to read about all the swag you’ll get, and how to enter.

More from Scarleteen on donations:

As those who work on the web know, while many services — including all we offer at Scarleteen — are free on the user-end, they are not free to provide, especially for a site of this size, depth, heritage and reach. Given the lack of support for teens in general, and the lack of support for comprehensive sex education, we have often operated at a deficit, and have an operating budget that is exceptionally low for the reach and scope of our services. Because the userbase we serve often does not have the means to donate themselves, despite our high traffic of those users, we depend on young adult parents, allies and mentors to help us sustain this service for the teens we all care so much about.

Scarleteen is, and has always been funded primarily by private donations: donations are critical to our survival as an organization. We are fully independent media. If you support what we do, and support the idea that young adults should be able to get accurate, inclusive and caring sexuality information and help when they need it, how they need it, we ask that you do what you can to help support us in that endeavor.

For information on where your donations will go click here. For more information on what we do and why it’s so important, find out more about us here.

 Posted by at 12:01 am
Oct 192010

Don’t you think that sex toy reviewers could create, quite possibly, the world’s best sex toys? This thought came to me the other day when lamenting both “premium” vibrators and how they still lack some fundamental things for me, and sex toy storage.

Sure, bloggers that review a lot of toys have a hard time reviewing toy storage sometimes simply because our own collections far exceed the capacity of the storage. But a few years before I started reviewing, or hell even knew that such a gig existed (actually it probably didn’t), I did indeed buy a sex toy storage bag because I wanted some nice  (and cute) safe place to store things, especially since we didn’t live together. For being just a regular person, I did have a fair amount of toys and accessories. The bag I bought back then was sold by My Pleasure and I have no idea who made it. Sure, it was water-proof. Wiped clean. Cute and small yet held a lot. But…..it wasn’t the greatest quality. And it wasn’t anything more than a glorified duffel bag. No separation to speak of. Actually…..it reminded me a lot of a cheaper version of Devine’s older sex toy storage case, the Satchel.

I used to think very highly of ForYourNymphomation’s cases. Yes, they lock. Yes, the larger more expensive ones have little pouches for organizing and separating. But the quality wasn’t meant to last. I had a little “wristlet” purse from FYN that I quite liked for the right occasions, but one of the zippers busted in fairly short order. I’ve heard reports of the pink cases bleeding dye onto toys; straps popping off; other zippers busting. Unfortunately, FYN doesn’t come with a warranty.

While the Devine cases are pretty, my complaint was always “too small”. A complaint others might make is “too feminine”. The Play Chest case is huge. Really huge. Which ok, thats great. I personally could use huge – except, that makes it really heavy, and the general construction of the case IMO leaves a little to be desired (which I talked about here, mostly the clasp/”lock”).The other Devine case I reviewed, I really thought that the padlock was of very poor quality – I recently had an FYN lock totally jam up on me, I thought we’d have to hack it off, so I’m afraid to actually use the Devine locks for fear they’d break while locked.

What is a toy owner to do?

Either we find a company to make our (reviewers) ideas viable, or I guess resort to perverting things like plastic chests of drawers, luggage and lacking up dresser drawer space.

Tell me how you store your toys. And what would your perfect storage and/or travel case look like?

 Posted by at 1:03 pm