Today I’m giving you some advice that I don’t tend to take for myself, at least not consistently. And I should. You see, I’m an anonymous blogger. I don’t show my face on the blog, I don’t go by real name. A bunch of other bloggers, and industry people, have met me and/or know my legal name but they still call me Lilly. It would be downright weird if any of them called me by my real name. *shrugs* I just AM Lilly.
However….the connection between my legal name (and address) and Lilly / Dangerous Lilly is something that I expect these people to keep to themselves. My privacy on this matter is tantamount to my being able to do this. I have reasons, valid reasons, for keeping the two things completely separate. So do many people, who aren’t bloggers. Sex workers, porn performers, etc. I guess I mostly expected the sex toy companies to get this, but a lot of them don’t. I guess I can’t really fault them, because this is something I should be proactive with.
[pullquote]Always inform new review partners of your anonymity and level of discretion needed for packages they send you. Don’t assume they know![/pullquote]We all should, for those who need some level of anonymity.
I don’t really know what the UPS driver, the bank teller or the postal service person would DO with the knowledge, but whether I like it or not, they all have seen that connection I try to keep buried.
So before you work with a new company, be it a retailer OR a manufacturer, be up front with them. Talk to them about the level of anonymity you need AND the level of package discretion you need. If you need that package to be discreet because of your neighbors, or who you live with, you have the right to discuss this and ask for it. Today I received a review item from BMS Factory, that had BMS branded packing tape all over the outside, and was sent in a Pipedream box. Pipedream.com allll over this box. It also had “Lilly” on the outside of the box. It’s more tolerable than “Dangerous Lilly”, but that’s because of my situation. I can assure you that if I were younger and living with family and someone saw a box with something other than my legal name, I surely would get questioned. I totally do not hold BMS to blame for this. As their rep said, they’re more accustomed to sending out samples to a magazine, and not a person. The onus is truly on me to advocate for my privacy in this arena, and I need to do it more. The companies don’t mind following your request, I find.
I’ve had numerous other instances of this happening, too, so I don’t want it to seem like I’m calling out BMS. It was just something that happened today and it’s happened a bunch of times recently, and it prompted me to write this post.