A lovely 5 years…

This post has taken me weeks to write, and has seen more drafts than hockey did this week1. Most people write big, sappy posts for a blogaversary as grand as 5 whole years. 5 years! I’m older than internet dirt now! This also happens to be my 800th post2. I can’t say I’m proud of all 800 posts; in fact I’ve changed so much over these 5 years that I’m pretty mortified by many of my earlier posts and reviews.  Sadly, I’m marking off my 5 years with a quickly impending for-the-foreseeable-future-hiatus.  I’ve known for weeks now that my time here was limited, but I kept that to myself. I wanted to finish up the giveaways I planned and the first big fundraising push for Dildology. I wanted to help out with Dildology as much as I could, even though I feel like I didn’t do enough.

Wait, what?

I’m not sure if this is 100% permanent goodbye from blogging, because who knows what’ll happen. This isn’t my final post, because I do have obligations to fulfill and whatnot.  My reasons though for walking away from this world right now are serious and real, but not my story to tell. I’m fine; as is my marriage/husband/family. But there is something happening in my offline world that requires my full attention and for me to be actually offline. I won’t say anything more than that publicly because of …reasons3. I don’t know how long I’m going to be needed.

One thing I do know to be certain is the fact that I won’t be attending CatalystCon or anything like it ever again – I have a lot personal reasons which I don’t need to discuss publicly; financially though it’s just not feasible for me to go. Hopefully in 2 years we’ll be buying a house, and the trip to DC is just way too expensive.  I justified it in the past because the funding for it came 100% from affiliate commissions or advertising dollars. It still would, but every penny needs to go to our future.

I might find that I can still get in a semi-regular post & review per month. I might find that this change in my life is so time-consuming that I let things here die off. I don’t honestly know what will happen in 6, 8, 10 months.

The Future of this Blog and My Projects

The site will stay live because it’s paid for already til the end of next year I believe. Yes, you may link to an old post. Yes, you may quote an excerpt from and link to an old post. Yes, if anything I’ve written inspires you to write more and research more and uncover dirt more, I want to read it so please email me the link!! Have a question about …. anything …. you think I can help with? Seriously, don’t be afraid to email me. I can’t promise I’ll be able to answer that day or even the next, but I will answer. I’m not that scary, I promise. I just have Bitchy Resting Face. I honestly want to see you all succeed at whatever you’re trying to accomplish online. You’ll still see me on Twitter via mobile, and email works of course, so I’m not going to be 100% gone online. I have a bunch of reviews and a few other things scheduled to post; my social media accounts will stay open but I will be disconnecting Twitter from Facebook, so if you only follow me on Facebook you won’t see anything for quite awhile. Oh and Sex Blogger Co-Op + ToySwap will be kept alive, too, if members want it. They largely run themselves anyways. I’ll be finding someone able to take over things like member invitation and whatnot until I decide what to do on a more permanent basis (probably Epiphora and maybe someone else?).


Due to my offline commitments I will be stepping down as Marketing Director of Dildology in an official capacity. I’ll continue to support them via this blog, of course, but otherwise my ability to contribute will be virtually nonexistent, and that’s not fair to anyone. Their mission is so very much needed in the industry; I look forward to the changes that will happen, for the better, because of Dildology. Dildology is the creation of Crista and Val, and they are always willing to answer questions, explain things and so on. Should you ever need anything or have any questions in regards to Dildology, make sure you contact them via Dildology on Facebook, Twitter, or email. While I wish that I had been able to contribute more than just the fundraiser event, I have faith that the posts from the blog carnival will live on to continue to educate others who browse your blogs and learn a few things about toxic toys.


In 5 years I’ve made a lot of really great friends, met a few fakes/sociopaths I can do without, pissed off a lot of people, had so much fun, and made one of the top 5 biggest mistakes of my life. But I learned a few very important lessons from that mistake, so I’ll focus on that aspect instead of the ugly person. I’ve made some great, life-changing decisions because of this site. I’ve learned a lot from the community and I feel I’m a better person for being here these last 5 years. To the friends I only got to hang out with at the spring conference, I will truly miss your faces. Those who live within a few hours of me, I hope to see again – If you’re ever in Connecticut, please let me know! To my friends & mentors in the industry…Metis and Jenna of Tantus, Pam, Sandra of Shevibe, Laura from The Toolshed, Shelley of Crystal Delights….your patience with my brain and my inquisitive nature meant so much to me, and you all taught me so much and supported me so much. You believed in me, you didn’t blow me off or pat me on my head.


Watch this space for upcoming reviews on Tantus products, a Tenga Iroha vibe, the Jopen Envy line, the Minna Ola, the Split Dildo and of course I have a couple of posts scheduled that are things other than reviews.

OH WAIT. I think I forgot something….

The winners! I made the winners of weeks 3, 4 and 5 wait until now to be announced.  The winner of the Lelo Mona 2 is ALICE. Her review suggestion reminded me of an unfinished one and her question about shower curtains and VOCs happens to be right in line with what I’m looking in to next. The winner of the We-Vibe Salsa + Tantus O2 Flury is OLIVE. If I’d had the ability, I would have chosen more winners, a few others were top contenders. It’s so hard to choose just one!! And finally, the winner of the Fucking Sculptures dildo is EMMA. Again, this was fucking hard to choose a fucking winner. Ha.

  1. I’m sorry that was a really bad attempt at sports humor and I probably failed. I won’t do it again
  2. why yes, yes I DID plan that as soon as I noticed it was feasible
  3. Stalker Hint: Hidemyass doesn’t work

15 Responses

  1. Frog says:

    Can I just say Thank You for five years of blogging. I may only be a relatively recent arrival to reading your blog, but the honesty in your reviews and educational posts have changed my world for the better!

    Good luck for the future, whatever it holds.

  2. dizzygirl says:

    As a fellow sufferer of Bitchy Resting Face, I can say that you will be missed. You are one of the bloggers that I respect and I am sorry to see you go (if only temporarily). I hope that you find your way through whatever the circumstances are in your life that has come to this point. Good luck with everything.

  3. I first became familiar with your name on the site-that-must-not-be-named, and loved your work. I then saw your name on the ToySwap mission statement and followed that here. I came to your site and rifled around your archieves. I love your work. I’m sad to see you go, especially after we’ve just gotten to know each other, but I completely understand. I wish you the best in your offline endeavors, and I’ll be more than likely be one of the ones to email you. Thank you for the post, and laying it all out there. Good luck, Dangerous Lilly, and thank you for your 5 years of blogging. :)


  4. SubReiSkyeM says:

    I’m not quite sure what to say. It saddens me to see you go because I really enjoyed reading your posts but at least you’re still going to be on Twitter a bit. I’m going to miss your posts so I hope you manage to find time to do some, though it’s understandable why you might not. I hope the real life stuff goes well for you and that you don’t get burnt out or upset while doing it.

  5. Violet says:

    Thank you for everything you’ve taught me, for the many, many hours of entertainment your blog has given me, and for all that you have done for the sex blogging, toy reviewing community as a whole. You will be deeply missed, so my fingers are crossed that we will still get to hear from you from time to time.

    And if you need helpers for tasks feel free to hit me up via email or twitter.

    Take care girl,
    Violet xx

  6. I’m so glad that I got to meet you during the spring conference, and I’m sad to see you leave this blog. You’ve been an awesome friend, resource, and inspiration.

  7. Heaven says:

    I am sure going to miss you. I hope the move forward brings many of great opportunities. You have done so much for helping out beginners on and off here. I always looked to reading what you had to say. Good luck with you journey.

  8. GrittyWoman says:

    I can only echo what has already been said. It is sad to see you go. I love your work and your blog has taught me so much. I am sure I will be popping back for more information in the future. I wish you all the best Lilly. Good luck. xx

  9. Penny says:

    I’m so sad to see you go Lilly, and I wish you the best of luck in taking care of everything that you need to do in your offline life. You were the first blogger that I looked up to when I started blogging, and I love your information packed blog and journalistic style. You will be greatly missed.

  10. Ms Mahler says:

    I wish I’d found your blog sooner and had more time to enjoy the awesome stuff you share. I hope this change is/turns out to be a positive one for you and that ‘reasons’ and ‘stuff’ are not nasty life shit, but changes you can embrace.

    Be well, and I’ll look for you when I’m on twitter.

  11. Paul says:

    Been a long-time reader, though I’ve rarely interacted. Always loved the site! Sounds like moving on may be best for you, but of course I’m secretly hoping you come back one day.

    Thanks so much for the blog, and good luck with wherever your path leads.

  12. Sandra says:

    Love ya Lills – we’ll do lunch…

  13. Thank you for all that you’ve done. Your site inspired me so much. Don’t be a stranger.
    Lots of love.

    PS- I am also in possession of a “Bitchy Resting Face” :-)

  14. Lilly says:

    I want to just thank everyone for the incredibly kind words, you all mean so much to me. I don’t even deserve half of this praise!! I hate that I’ve had to censor a few things here in recent months but doing so was a much better path to take most of the time. I’m happy to talk privately with those who are concerned about things.

    Love you all and please keep on speaking out and being activists!

  15. Mr. Will says:

    Just flipping through your posts, I’m extremely glad you haven’t disappeared completely!

    You are a true asset to the community, and so many would still be scratching their heads about toys without you!