Change is inevitable

In 3 months, a new life for me begins. In 3 months we’ll be moving a few states away. In 3 months I will no longer have to drag my ass every day into an office job that is stifling, boring and irritating. In fact, we’re not even sure what I’ll be doing for work and we’re not 100% worried. Due to husband taking classes for the last number of years I’ve been the main breadwinner – going to jobs that either wrung me out mentally or bored me to death. Now he’ll be the one working and I’ll be…..a housewife? Nah that doesn’t sound right. (I hate cleaning and I suck at it)

But my online earnings will become even more important, especially in the next few months. I’ll need every penny to go towards the move and our life there, instead of it just being my “fun fund”. I’m fretting about advertisers, I’m crossing my fingers that lovely readers and stumblers-upon will end up buying sex toys from my affiliate links. *hint hint* What I will NOT do is ask outright for a donation from my readers as if I deserve your money just for being mildly entertaining or informative. My life struggles are not your problem.

With the husband set to pull in enough money so that I have more freedom I’m finding myself wondering what to do about this freedom. I’ve wished for the online jobs working with sex toy companies since I started but was always unable to do so because of my fulltime job and the fact that I was the provider of health insurance. Last year a site I really loved went up for sale, The Fat Girl’s Guide to Living, and I wanted to buy it so badly. I knew that I could mine their advertising potential and make it earn money whilst keeping up with the wonderful articles that I and others had found so helpful. Sadly I could neither afford it back then in either time or money; even more sadly the owner is just letting the site sit stagnant with no new posts. I had really hoped that the creators of the site wouldn’t let that happen but I guess they succumbed to the lure of getting more money from the sale rather than keeping their pride and once-joy going.

Another change that might happen is that I might show myself a little bit more on here. This week’s Wanton Wednesday, while being small and a little blurry and high contrast, showed a lot of me. Or at least more than I was accustomed to showing. I’d done my best to stay anonymous and most of that was due to my job because:

A: I did a LOT of blogging while at work. Twittering. IMing. Cybering.

2: A lot of things that I used to blog about were done at work; photos, the raunchy conversations, the masturbating at my desk.

Given who I worked for (wow, I’m already using past tense. I still work there for another 3 months!) I could have easily gotten fired. Well, I guess that I could have gotten fired no matter who I worked for, those are not the marks of a model employee. Now that that need for cover is gone, will I be “out” totally? No. You’ll still know me as Lilly. While I don’t have a ton of family that I think would ever stumble across me on the internet randomly, using my real name would help them if they ever googled me.

I don’t know what my future holds, but I’m pretty damn sure it’s brightening up real quick. I think this move affords me the freedom to be more ME both online and in reality. Let’s face it….a rote job that makes me stabby and bored is a soul-sucker.

I will ask one thing though of my fellow bloggers: For the month of May I need a trusted soul to take over e[lust] as that’s when I’ll be moving. It’s reallllly difficult for me to hand control and trust over to someone else, but I don’t want to put e[lust] on another hiatus. Whomever takes over needs to have the time to devote to it daily during the active period; paying attention to details, checking to make sure the entries are all coming in ok, wrangling up volunteers, etc. It’s not an easy job in some ways but maybe for someone not ADD it is, lol.