Blowjobs and Salad
This is just one of those mishmash random updates posts because I can’t be arsed to write a proper post and so you get these bizarre gems of my overwrought brain and meandering anxiety-fueled thought trains that look remarkably like the Little Engine That Could.
Yeah. I don’t know either.
~~The Eleven~~
Yeah, it’s kinda awesome. I just thought you should know. I mean, it’s not the Holy Grail that is the Pure Wand, but the Njoy Eleven did indeed rock my world in our little pseudo-threesome: Me, him, and The Eleven. Hey I had two cocks in two holes so it’s about as close to a threesome as I’ll be getting lately.
~~Lifestyle Changes Keep Changing~~
We’re not allowed to call it “dieting”, it’s a “lifestyle change”. I can’t say it without glaring yet, either. Anyways, I left Weight Watchers. It was giving me generalized anxiety disorder. Why? Because a “Point” is kinda vague, in a way, and I could numerically consume the same number of points over given weeks and exercise the same yet never once see similar results on the scale – shit I even went through a 2ish month plateau. And I couldn’t find a pattern – I had no idea why it was happening, I just didn’t have the control I’ve come to need. So I switched to myfitnesspal.com after seeing Sarah using it on Twitter for awhile and I can breathe a little easier. And it’s only been a week! It’s so much more straight-forward – I tell it “I wanna lose 2 pounds a week” and it says “Ok, you can have this many calories. Want more? Exercise, bitch” and so I do. It soothes the logical/scientific side of me more than Weight Watchers could.
I’m trying so hard to continually “be better”. These days I eat more fresh fruits and vegetables in one single day than I might have in a month, a year ago. Some days I go a little overboard. Today’s lunch was a huge salad – I filled up a 5-cup container with mostly lettuces and raw cabbage, and topped it with a little lunchmeat and feta. And I realized something. I ain’t doin that shit again. 1. it takes too long to chomp through 4.5 cups of greens. B. I’m too lazy for that. 3. It made my jaw sore!!!! It was like I gave a really long blowjob…..except, ya know, I didn’t. I’d have rather though!
~~Winners Notified~~
oh yeah, btw, those who were chosen to get a Durex Love Box were emailed. I’ve heard from all but two of you – Surreal227 and Mei QingTing please get back to me pronto! I’ll be mailing these out this weekend.
~~I Hate People. Specifically, Teenagers~~
I am still young enough that when I’m around teenagers, I feel like I felt back in high school. Inferior. I’ve been going to the gym, for my water aerobics classes, since about August. It wasn’t easy for my shy, introverted-around-strangers self to be in the open locker room setting and get nekkid, but I did it. Today though, I didn’t. I arrived at the gym which was a miracle – I was tired, hungry, grumpy and pissed off at my MIA best friend. But I fucking went in anyways. For some reason in recent weeks there’s been a rash of high school kids at the gym, but today was the first day that the women’s locker room was FILLED with them. There was not a free bench spot, certainly not an ounce of privacy. All these girls preening and primping at the mirrors, taking their time because they don’t give a shit about anybody else and just want to look good for the boys. And nobody at the gym who is responsible for the group being there has bothered to school these kids of fucking locker room etiquette – get in, get out. Top it off with the entire fucking locker room floor being wet because cleaning services chose that busy time to mop the entire TILE floor, and I’m walking like I’m on eggshells because Crocs get slippy on wet surfaces and I have no balance.
I gave them a few minutes. I peed in the sole empty stall because half the girls were changing in the bathrooms, and I got more pissed off by the second. Come back to my bag to find not one single one has left yet and that was IT. I stormed out. I called my husband and I had to vent to somebody even though he’s under huge anxiety because it’s finals week. My venting and yelling and swearing set him off which set me off and it has all culminated into a sobbing mess who just ordered pizza.
Sooo…..I’m hoping that I don’t engulf the whole pizza. I’m hoping I can channel this anger into a rough session of step aerobics without injuring myself so that I can lessen the negative effect this pizza will have.
You know those days when you say to yourself “I just can’t do this anymore”?
It’s one of them days.
‘Scuse me. Domino’s is knocking on my door. =/
I had one of those weeks where it seems like a series of little shit builds until you explode. I did, and I probably hurt a lot of people’s feelings, but I was hurt too. We’ve since talked about it and worked things out. I hope you feel better and don’t splurge too much on the Domino’s. Even if you do, tomorrow is a new day.
I’m glad you’re liking myfitnesspal.com. I think that my brain works similarly to yours because I need to chart the food and exercises. After a while I was able to keep track of calories in my head so I didn’t accidentally blow it while I was out of the house and couldn’t log it. I love that you can track fats, sugars, sodium and whatever you need to for your specific needs. The interface is just so easy to use. Hopefully you have more success with it than you did with WW.
I’ll take your advice and avoid 5 cups of salad. ;)
~ I used to think I could track Points in my head but I’d usually screw it up. Thankfully I MFP has a better Android app than WW did. And yes, I love that I can see my sodium and protein.
Sorry you had a bad day.I hope it gets better!
I know they are changing Weight Watchers’ to a newer system this month. I am sticking with the old system though. I lost 50 pounds. But if myfitnesspal works for you, do that. Best of luck!
~ I’d lost 35 on WW but it was slower than I wanted and gave me too much stress. And yes, they have changed and I saw the changes but in the end….it’s still points. And now online, there’s not more half-points so to me there’s even more vagueness! I did a day of tracking both cals and the new WW, and it came out that the new WW plan would have me eating WAY too much, too many cals.
Teenagers annoy me, as well. Then, again… I’m old.
popping in to see what is new
I hate locker rooms. end of story. they are set up in a way to be sure you lose modesty or die trying
You’ll get a kick out of this….
“She wanted me to have salad as the food! No! Salad isn’t food! Salad comes with the food. Salad is a promisary note that something good is going to happen… “
Ugh….sorry about your sucky day. Gyms in general freak me out, they hit on all my anxieties.
xoxo
I’ll split the pizza with you.
Look on the bright side, you get to leave the teenage girls and go home. I have to live with them! ;-)
I wrote you back yesterday, sorry about the delay! Hope you got it.
Things always go south for me during the silly season. Nothing makes sense. So I can relate to this.
…yeah, and if you are sharing pizza please save me a slice or two.
Look on the bright side. At least you’re not in a men’s locker room, where you’re judged by one particular part of your body you can’t change!
They’ve changed the point system. I am giving it a try. We’ll see how it works. I am so excited about the free fruit its not even funny.
Hang in there! I also use sparkpeople.com to track my exercise. I suck at ‘dieting’ plans, but enjoy seeing their recipes and adjusting my food accordingly. I also love their goal sections as well and when they yell at me for working out too much. Lol….
And locker rooms suck. It’s why I joined a gym and quit swimming at the Rec Pool. But usually it was because of the 90 year old ladies who jibber jabber and comb their hair butt naked. It skeeved me out.
Don’t even get me started on seeing one of them drying their ‘lady’ with the hand dryer………..
I hate days like that at the gym! And mopping the floor when the locker room was full? I would have complained to management – given them a little shit about the kids in there, too!
Hope tomorrow is better for you & congrats on finding a new healthy eating program!
FT
What I hate about teenagers is when they think they’re already old enough and know everything. ‘What? You’re just 5 years older than me Pen’. Ugh!
Btw, it’s threesome that I haven’t tried in my life! Hope things get better.
-PP