Crash course in polite conversation
You may, or may not, have noticed lately a culling in my public blogroll. It is with caution that I tread on this subject, but I am not, by far, the first to speak of it. Sage. Rage. Naughty Secretary. Just a few.
They all pick at different aspects, some focusing on responses to the comments left on the blogs they read, some on the lack of comments they receive on their own blog.
There are two edges to this sword – I write for myself, I write for the world. While I do write for myself, this blog is quite cathartic, it is aided by the fact that I have a small audience as a sounding board. A set of people who don’t judge on petty things like the more closed-minded folks that surround me in daily life. So while I would continue on writing, I value and appreciate the comments I get both publicly on the blog and privately via email. It is a comfort to know that there are others in my boat, in my corner, more than just my partner who sits beside me here (hello, dear). It is an even larger comfort to have made friends with some of the shadowed audience. So, I think, how rude it would be of me not to acknowledge your words when you comment. In real life, do you stare blankly at someone who pays you a compliment? No. You would either never get it again, or get smacked upside the head.
I cannot complain at ALL about the comments I receive. Yes, I see other bloggers get more. So what? It’s not a popularity contest. But, that’s not my point. I suppose part of it is….if you see that I make an effort on your blog, and I am on your public blogroll….well, whyever am I on it if you don’t read it?
Mostly, I’ve removed people from the blogroll who rarely or never reply to comments, or to mine specifically, and who couldn’t give a flying fuck about me and my little square in the webiverse. I don’t mind, no skin off my nose so to speak. I’ll still read it in my feedreader because I do enjoy the blogs, but I won’t make the effort anymore to comment or be a presence. Basically, ignore me and I’ll go away. There are one or two I’m still figuring out. They reply to my comments in a polite manner, but don’t seem to welcome me there. So if I’m not welcome…..then just don’t say a darn thing, I guess.
I’ve recently been hunting for new reads, both sex blogs and well…..non, lol. And if I like something, I comment. That’s my nature. That’s half the point. If they never respond…..I’m not sure they’re worth the effort of faithfully reading.
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New subject.
The We-Vibe contest winner is: Coy Pink, with this entry:
http://www.redtube.com/1289 (red tube link, as some reported the original link giving issues)
http://video.megarotic.com/?v=X3VTEATM (original link)
Why?
Well, most importantly, it was believably real. Decent quality (security cams are pretty poor quality, but offer great views), good length, good sex (despite the dude’s blinding white tan lines). You felt like you were peeping along with Tom who was peekin out his window. I’m not sure I understand his point of zooming in on the crap in the yard tho….meh, oh well.
The other entries were all great too! Panthera‘s parking lot cam was decent, although that kid needs a few lessons in sex. My favorite part was the truck that stopped to watch his white lil ass bang his gf. Jobthingy‘s entry was hot sex, albeit staged (by at least part of the couple, even if the female didn’t know she was being filmed). Some more parking garage antics occured, sadly cut short. A romp in the woods was filmed but the plausibility seemed iffy….the forest is a noisy place, all leaves and crackly branches underfoot….I find it hard to believe that couple didn’t know they were being filmed, ya know? Elevator sex was HOT, but short and grainy. We had to make the line in the sand somewhere, ya know?
Hey, for such an expensive toy, we can be picky about our porno :P
Thanks to all who entered, it was great fun :)
I understand about the comment thing.
Funny story–On my old blog I had a guy comment on it every day. EVERY DAY for six months. Then he showed up at a book signing of mine. Instead of a stodgy 70 year old codger,(which is what I was expecting) a nice looking, friendly man stood before me–early 40’s, distinguished, handsome, polite. We became friends. Good friends. I married him a year and a half later. He’s known as Bent. :0)
It takes time to read a blog and time to comment–to reply to them is the polite thing to do. And it just might get you laid…or at the very least involved in a romance beyond your wildest dreams…..
WL
~Vice
~ Awww :) Hrm, that doesn’t say much though for his writing tone that you thought he would be 70 yrs old, lol ~L
Every so often I weed (library term) through my list for blogs that don’t post or whose writing I don’t end up enjoying. I have a couple in my reader just now that I haven’t added to the list yet.
I don’t comment often on blogs, I usually don’t know what to say. (Maybe that’s why I get so few comments? I dunno.)
~ Actually, I think you don’t get many because yours is setup that people must be logged into WordPress in order to comment…..and people are inherently lazy, lol. ~L
I currently follow about 35 blogs, some posting daily like you or tess or pixie pie, some posting less frequently like toy or slut no bounds, some only once a month or even less frequently like green lacewing (who hasn’t posted since mid July, but write so nicely when she does post). I tend to comment when I’m particularly moved by what’s been written or shown in a picture (as I did with you last week). I was indeed a lurker two years ago, before I started my own blog, but now feel as though I’m merely an observer for the most part (and that’s one of my particular kinks—watching).
I always appreciate comment, yours for sure, and will try to respond to your responses going forward.
~ i agree that its never necessary to comment to every little thing, especially if you don’t really like the post or what have you. But my issue here today is really the fact that some authors don’t acknowledge the comments. ~L
See, I feel bad. I’m one of those people who is bad and doesn’t reply to as many comments as I should.
I read every single one and appreciate that they took the time to read my blog and write the comments. But I am a college student. I have three exams and a paper due by next week. Sometimes I just don’t have the time.
I do try to comment to the people who say they’ve linked a post or added me to their blogroll. And I really should try to make a better effort to comments back.
~ I’ve found that there’s all different levels, but just something small is sometimes all that’s necessary. In some blogs there is a whole nother conversation going on in the comments, back and forth between author and several commenters. That’s not always necessary, ya know? But, my point isn’t to make people feel bad….it’s just to make others aware. And to speak about why I’ve perhaps stopped commenting on someone’s blog or removed them from my list, should they take notice (I doubt they will though) ~L
A fiesty, naughty dirty 70 year old. ;) I just didn’t want to hope that those hot words were attached to a hot man. I mean, who could be so damn lucky??
~V
Oh and I agree wholeheartedly with you and swordfish…
Well if you are searching for new blogs tell me what you want to read, with some specifics and I’ll send you 4-5 links!
hehe
Its about manners to me
the perfect analogy is what you said about someone paying you a compliment.
anyway
Congrats Coy Pink!
Excellent choice.
~ I don’t really have specifics…..its just whatever strikes my fancy, I guess.
Thank you, sweet Lilly, and your benevolent judge for choosing me! I’m so excited to get the We-Vibe!
Back to the subject. What is the etiquette about commenting back to comments left on your site? Am I being a bitch by not personally commenting on every comment left for me? Sometimes I’ll email someone personally (or perhaps comment back) if the comment strikes me. I totally appreciate people like yourself who do write back to each comment. Perhaps I just need to make more time to comment back to my readers… but what if they leave a comment and never return to read what I have to say back to them?
~ I don’t guess that there is etiquette. No, you’re not being a bitch! :P An email, IMO, is just as good. And I realize that someone may not come back to see your reply, I can’t speak for everyone. I know that when I stop back to the blog at their next post, I’ll go back to previous entries and read the comments and/or replies. If I said something personal in comments, something that might warrant a response from the author,or maybe I asked a question or what have you,I’ll go back and check.
I guess it just also lets me know if they enjoy my presence on their blog….like if I can see that, for example, the author consistently replies to other commenters with wit, humor, flirt or something that shows they -like- the person and are glad to have them there…..but then my comment gets a chilly reception or none at all…Well, too much of that and I get the hint and won’t comment anymore. I’m not saying YOU are doing that, not at all, it just brought up another point in my head.
This reminds me, I have a few comments I forgot to reply to… Will do, thanks! ;)
~ Glad to have been of service, Madam. ;) Such a sweet blogger :) ~L
It doesn’t hurt to weed out the blogroll once in a while – rather like going through the wardrobe once in a while.
Some weeks I’m so busy – working seven days with long hours – I still feel guilty about not going round and commenting on blogs…
~ Very true….7 days? Yikes man, stop and smell the roses soon! *hugs* good to see you :) ~L
Thanks for the shoutout lilly.
I couldn’t have said it better myself. You and I had this same discussion over on my blog. You know how I feel about it.
There are many on my blogroll I am about to drop off like a bad habit for the very same reason you specified. It’s all about courtesy, ya know. ((Hugs baby girl))
~ I love meeting other courteous hot girls :) ~L
By the way, totally love the way you edit other’s comments with your own. It makes more sense to do things that way!
~ I saw a few other wordpress bloggers doing it, I think it’s much better….this way when other people read the comments they don’t have to go back and figure out which comment I’m referring to….and I just think it looks more tidy :) ~L
Your comments are always appreciated. I hope you know that!
~ *hugs* and so are yours :) ~L