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in random thoughts
I plan to write more on this, for this blog, but for now this is just a quick meta-post. The post before this one detailed how I finally care enough about me, for myself, to want to look and feel better.
But my husband felt that some commenters might have missed that point. By saying that perhaps women who appear polished and well-dressed are really hiding flaws and fears might have some merit with some women, but it certainly isn’t a standard. I feel that many of those women appear that way because they *care about themselves* and how they look. The old adage of “look better to feel better” is really so much more true than some of us can realize. I feel sexier when I dress sexier. I feel more attractive when I put on my make-up and dress smartly. I feel it, so therefore I exude it, and therefore…I AM. For years, I did this all for the benefit of others above myself. But now, it’s for me above and beyond all else. It’s going to extend past wearing smarter clothes and into eating healthier and exercising more. I don’t know how, but I’m going to do it. He was more proud of me than I expected, upon reading that post. He was more moved than I expected, as well. I guess because you don’t see the changes in yourself as easily as the ones closest to you.
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I feel like you all are going to think we have a sploshy food fetish, but I swear we do not. We got messy with some food again the other day, but this time it was purely for the camera and I ran for the washcloth right after. Why for the camera? Well let’s just say inspiration struck when eating something, providing us with photos and a mental image for him that normally wouldn’t occur. You’ll see soon enough!
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Over there in the sidebar, up top, I put a new textbox to alert you whenever I see a really good you-can’t-miss-this sale on a fabulous sex toy that I love. I’ve got alerts set for a number of toys but this first one is near and dear to my cunt heart – the Njoy Pure Wand. Right now Edenfantasys has a deal where you get a free $50 giftcard towards your next purchase, if you buy the Pure Wand (and buying the Pure Wand gets you free overnight shipping). If you buy sex toys even on a semi-regular basis, that’s kinda like getting the Pure Wand for nearly half off. In a roundabout $50-worth-of-free-sex-toys way. Which is awesome in my book :)
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in real life
I think that my G-spot has been trying to pick up the slack from my clit.
Meaning, despite having a clit o’steel, my G-spot is mightily responsive now that I know her exact address. She was an elusive bugger, akin to locating Platform 9 3/4. Thanks to my Pure Wand though we’re now very friendly neighbors.
I’m sure I’ve mentioned that my clit o’steel leads to another sad occurrence: clitoral orgasm from oral sex is nigh on impossible. “Close but no cigar” is the usual outcome. Thankfully my hubby has no issues with letting a vibrator finish me off.
Last night was no different in that regard but on the plus side he has become as well acquainted with my G-spot as Mr. Pure Wand has. The women whose orgasms aren’t falling like ripe apples will know what I mean when I say that he had me in such a frenzy that my body was quite literally climbing for release. My legs writhing, my pelvis rocking and humping his hand and mouth; my arms reaching for unseen extra partners and my hands grasping empty air or bunching up the bedsheets; my torso arching up off of the bed. I must have looked like a woman possessed and that’s just what I felt like.
Something else amazing was happening as I was pleading with my body to tip over that edge of clitoral orgasm (in one moment of delusional insanity I was picturing that awful yodeling Swiss plastic man from this one Price is Right game except this time I wanted him to topple off the mountain), my G-spot took the wheel and holy wow. I wanted to ask him how many fingers he was pumping inside of me but I couldn’t form words. Like the angel and the devil on your shoulders my mind and body alternately begged for clitoral orgasm and reveled in the G-spot orgasm. I finally brushed off the devil representing my clit and rode out the G-spot waves. To his credit he didn’t stop his fingers and hand until I closed my thighs and silently let him off duty.
Still unable to speak, he carefully climbed up and started fucking me. I say carefully because the fibromyalgia can even affect sex when my whole body is extra-tender to the touch – this even included my cunt. There had been an underlying achy pain as he was thrusting his fingers inside of me but the pleasure greatly outnumbered it. Hubby came after a few minutes, which is good because my G-spot couldn’t take any more pleasure. He had commented prior to the sex that I was a lot wetter than usual; I could tell as he was fucking me that it wasn’t my usual wetness – thinner and more slippery than silky.
Despite all that goodness my clit was still thumping for attention so I asked him to hand me the Hitachi. I spread myself open so that the head of the Hitachi had more direct contact with the pelvic bone buried under flesh just to the right of my clit – this placement allows the vibrations to spread to the legs of my clitoris, the portion that’s internal. When I turned it on, I knew then that I had indeed squirted/gushed earlier. There was so much fluid and wetness pooling in between my plump outter labia that the vibrations of the Hitachi sounded like a mini motorboat churning in the water. It’s an obscene sound, no hiding how wet I am. He helped me along after a few frustrating moments of “almost there” and his fingers again felt fatter and larger than normal. I likely woke up the neighbors with that orgasm.
The details of downtime moments are lost to the haze of orgasm recovery but I can recall us laying there, panting, him asking me if I’m alright and I just laughed insanely. I recall asking him if he could tell when I gushed while his fingers were in me and he said:
“I have no idea, my hand was numb.”
I was silent for a few seconds and then apologized while laughing. And then thanked him while giggling.
Oh and I finally asked him how many fingers he had used. I fully expected him to say 4, with the way it felt. But no, it was only 3. Perhaps it felt like more because of the flare-up. I’m simultaneously looking forward to and doubting a future attempt at fisting. Can he? But oh it might feel awesome! My cunt says “it might hurt!” but my G-spot says “I don’t fuckin care, bitch!”.
Don’t know what yodeler I’m referring to? It’s ok, I know my brain doesn’t always make sense. Here, watch this short Price is Right clip and you’ll know.
in Uncategorized
“I SQUIRTED!!!!!!!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!”
I’ve only squirted with one toy, only one.
“The final frenzied build-up took a good minute or two…..this was truly a roller-coaster ride and the climb up to the top was better than most orgasms felt as I was coming. Yes, that good. When I felt orgasm approaching I pushed a bit, like I’ve read to do, and the orgasm was literally the strongest I’ve had on my own in a long LONG while. I curled into myself, holding my breath while my mouth gaped open in a silent scream. Between the strong orgasm and how hard I was pushing, I eventually pushed the damn thing out of me (not easy to do given the weight and large ball). And it was different, in a good way. I managed to have a simultaneous orgasm from both my clit and my G-spot. The inundation of extreme pleasure didn’t stop until I let go of the toys.”
Only one sex toy gives me strong orgasms, multiple orgasms, “no way I won’t come” orgasms when all else seems to fail. If I had to own just one toy I would choose this one. Yes, even over a vibrating toy.
It’s such a great sex toy that I’m not alone in loving it, it won an award!
If I could, I’d make this play the “ahhhhh!!” angels singing midi to further
drive home the fact that the Njoy Pure Wand is THAT FRIGGIN AWESOME
I am having a contest and I am giving away one Njoy Pure Wand, courtesy of EdenFantasys.com. It’s a simple contest, really. Three ways to enter into the random drawing. One for bloggers, one for commenters who are not bloggers, and one for anybody with a Twitter account.
To be clear, you can have two entries into this contest: Your blog post OR your comment about the perfect sex toy design, plus Twitter.
Entry Method One: For Bloggers:
Post the following on your blog, including the links and the photo. I need you to then come here and comment to tell me that you entered, and include the link to your post in your comment. Repost everything between the lines! If you’re reposting this to a tumblr, please make sure that the embedded links carry over.
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Lilly, of DangerousLilly.com, is giving away an Njoy Pure Wand courtesy of EdenFantasys! The Pure Wand is a high-quality stainless steel double-ended dildo for either G-spot stimulation or prostate stimulation. It is 24 ounces of solid medical grade stainless steel, and polished to a mirror shine. Lilly loves her Pure Wand and wants to spread the love to one lucky winner!
To enter the contest just visit her blog to find out the rules and entry methods. You can enter even if you don’t have a blog, it’s easy! The contest deadline is September 16th, 2009, at Midnight Eastern Standard Time.
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Entry Method Two: For Non Bloggers:
Leave me a comment on this post and tell me the design the perfect sex toy for you, if a sex toy manufacturer gave you complete design control! Tell me the size, the color and shape, if it vibrates or not, or simply tell me how you would change a toy that’s already on the market that you almost love and how you would make it perfect.
Entry Method Three: For Twitterers:
All you have to do is tweet this ONCE and only once – not once a day, just one time between now and the contest deadline. I’ll find all the entries by searching for the hashtag; however if your Twitter updates are locked (protected) and I do not follow you, you’ll need to comment here with a link directly to your contest entry tweet and I will request to follow you so that I can verify your entry.
Tweet this:
Win an Njoy Pure Wand from @Dangerous_Lilly – contest rules here: http://bit.ly/3gcPuf Ends 9-16-09 @ 12am EST #DangerousLillyPureWand
UPDATE: Restating this because it needs to be said again: If I didn’t already follow you and your tweets are locked, please include a link to the tweet. For some reason if you tweet it first and then I request to follow, it doesn’t show up in my “Mentions” column. By the time I might see your comment here telling me about it, it could be hours later (and many tweets later on your part).
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Deadline:
September 16th (a Wednesday), 2009 at Midnight EST
Who is eligible:
Anyone!
It’s really important to give a valid email address when you’re filling out the comment form here (emails are only seen by me). I’ll notify the winner via email or DM through Twitter. You’ll have 5 days to get back to me so that I know you’re there, before I pick a new winner. I’ll then pass your email address to my contact at Edenfantsys and you will give them your mailing address.
Perhaps someday if every person owns an Njoy Pure Wand, we will achieve world peace :)
in reviews
Before I discovered smut on the internet, I discovered erotic books. I have such a vivid imagination that I can see the scene in my mind as I read; my own private movie. It is something that is a big bonus to my erotic fiction writings. Text and words have always aroused me more than images (usually). My favorite reads for arousal have always been of the short story anthology variety. Everyone’s taste is different so there’s always the inevitable few stories that do nothing for you. The rest of them usually make up for that. But if you enjoy reading my blog and you get off to my written words, then no sextoy shopping trip would be complete without picking up a hot book to take to bed with you. It can be for an indulgent night alone, and it can be used to prime yourself for your partner. Read it aloud, even. Involve them.
There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to review this book. Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists (edited by Alison Tyler and Rachel Kramer Bussel) is a title that is so obviously meant for me. Indeed, many of these stories have aroused me to the core and have given me ideas.
The characters vary widely in this collection of 20 stories. Predominantly hetero with a couple token lesbian stories and a few bisexual females thrown into the mix. Some stories are about characters who are purposely being exhibitionists and some are accidental exhibitionists. There are the tales of shy, lonely late bloomers secretly listening or watching.
I set out to read one evening, settled comfortably into bed with various toys at the ready. Wearing nothing but a bedtime t-shirt I snuggled under the comforter and began. The first story seemed familiar (it is indeed in another anthology I own) but is honestly one of my favorites.
….the second she’d seen the picture window facing the apartment across the alley, her mind had turned to the idea of taking her clothes off in front of it, and the deal was closed.
~Curtain Call, Thomas S. Roche
Our heroine masturbates in front of this window without knowing if anyone is even home in the apartment across the way. And right at the outset, I was wet. Raptly engrossed in my reading, my lips parted and tongue running along the inside of my lower lip, I read and wanted to be her. I’ve done what I could in the arrangement of my apartment but the best was merely an open window and a vocal orgasm. My index finger lazily grazed circles over my hardening clit by the time I neared completion of this story.
…The water streamed over our heads and I drifted on a mist of steam, a storm gathering in the pit of my stomach.I was just starting that smooth glide to a deep come when I heard a thin cry float above Taylor’s labored grunts.
~A Flash of Gold, Radclyffe
This lesbian story in the setting of a college dormitory shower made me want to go back to college – just not the one I went to. The college I attended did not have large multi-shower rooms meant to be shared by the floor. Instead we only shared our shower with the adjoining room. Perhaps an arrangement like the dorm showers in this story would have done little else for me than provide a visual feast for me to furtively watch, but perhaps it would have gotten me my longed-for college girl-on-girl experience. Maybe an invitation to join the couple I would happen upon at 1am, fucking under the stream of water. Surely at least a few opportunities to listen to labored breathing and moans a stall or two over. All these what-ifs floating in my head, combined with the story, lead me to move from fingers circling my clit to nestling my bullet vibe between my pussy lips and gently buzzing away on my clit.
…Eyes wide, I stared at the car over his shoulder, barely able to make out the man behind the wheel. All I could see was the glow of his cigarette. He didn’t start the car, he didn’t leave. He sat there, watching us. Watching me get fucked.
~The Stars Fell Down, Kristina Wright
An adulterous couple sneaks away from a party and their spouses to meet up in the parking lot of the school where he works. A heated scene in the car leads to desire-fueled sex outside of the car. Suddenly, someone exits the school and watches them. The couple are aware, but are so crazed for each other that they don’t care. Again this is one of those situations where I don’t know who I’d rather be. Her, or the voyeur. After this story I finally laid my book aside to concentrate on getting off. With my bullet vibrator pressed to my clit just so, I climaxed with a long drawn out orgasm.
…Her tits brush against mine, the nipples so hard as they send tingles of sensation through my body. She kisses me again, grinding on top of me. It doesn’t occur to me that other patrons might be watching. I don’t eve really care. The only thing, in that moment, is the feel of the stripper’s body against me and the heat of your eyes on us.
~Couples Welcome, Erica Dumas
I want to go to a strip club. SOON. This story combined a reluctant bi-curious girl paired with a female stripper, and later on sex with her man outside the club. Two hot aspects in one story. I’m not kidding, someone take me to a strip club or two. I had to come again after this story. This time I deftly stroked my g-spot to orgasm with my beloved Pure Wand. I have long harbored fantasies of strip clubs. Being a dancer; watching a friend get up there and get naked for me; getting a private lap dance and “more”; going to a strip club with a female friend, both of us being scantily dressed, getting each other off as we watch the strippers perform and tease; the list goes on and on. As I read this story I was the girl, I was the one getting a lap dance, I was the one getting fucked in the alley.
There are many other good stories in this anthology. There are two with male Dominant / female submissive angles…..those both were a huge turn-on for me at the time I read it but for right now I can’t read them. I get filled with longing and realization I might never have that. There are also a few stories that were duds, to me, but that is a given in any anthology. This book was primarily arousing and should definitely be bought, soon. Before you use a sex toy, you need to be turned on. This, my friends, will do the job over and over again.
in personal information, random thoughts, real life
I’m going to get the “bad news” out of the way first.
R and I are no longer. Well, that’s not fully accurate. The D/s and sexual side has ended, and we won’t ever be seeing each other even in a “friendly hanging out” sort of way, at least for the foreseeable future. It’s his decision, his demons to battle and in the end….well, he’s doing the right thing. It’s hurtful for me and somewhat for him but for him to ultimately go against that which has made him who he is, would be detrimental. He’s not been innocent in this, but he can’t hit the last proverbial nail in the coffin of infidelity. Our “relationship” is way more complicated than most of my readers know and I won’t be going into it anymore than I have. My friends know and have been wonderful little support pillars.
I need to figure out how to pull out the threads of our close friendship and keep those; burn the threads of anger and hurt; and tuck away the threads of the sex and D/s into a very dark remote corner. I won’t be finding anyone else to fill that bill, I just don’t think I can be submissive like I was with him, with anyone else. Perhaps I will change my mind in time, but submission like that was a big deal to me. A rare gift. He and I will remain friends though, like we have been for the past year. The friendship was always the foundation and the majority of things.
I won’t be writing about him anymore. I’m resisting the urge to close down all posts tagged with him. Seriously pondering how much of a pain in the ass it would be to remove one of those pics up there in my header banner. Or if I should remove the domination/submission click links up there. I don’t even know if I’ll write about dominating women anymore, I’m just not sure at this time.
I don’t want any comments of condolence or opinions on the matter of my whatever with R, period. I really don’t. It makes it harder. The only ones who were allowed to weigh in with opinions and advice are the friends who know the intricate gory details. To clarify for anybody who somehow didn’t read enough or note little details, R is NOT my SO, is NOT my live-in partner. That man is still very much here and wonderful.
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I’ve got a few notable reviews in the works revolving around the style of vibrators called the “massagers”. These are the big bad boys, some recharge and some remain plugged in. Most are sold in the vanilla world as muscle massagers. First I’m going to do a comparative review all in one post of the Hitachi, the CEN knock-off the Miracle Massager, the Acuvibe and the Acuvibe Mini, and the Ideal. If you happen to own one not listed here AND you also own one or more that I have listed here, please contact me. I’d like to include your thoughts in my post.
Then, the wonderful Drew at EdenFantasys sent me some attachments for said massagers. I’ve reviewed 2 in the past, now I’ve got 3 more that I’ll talk about in a second comparative review.
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I’m also considering writing up a short series to help those who haven’t purchased any sex toys in the last decade, or never have bought any, or own only a couple terrible ones.
I’d like to include anal toys for newbies in the list too, but as I’ve never tried any, I can’t recommend. Hoping one of my reviewer peers might pitch in here.
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You know….the search terms that lead to my site crack me up sometimes. Other times I think “Wow, sorry buddy, ain’t gonna find that here!”. And other times I’m sickened.
But one frequent search has made me think. I do get numerous hits from some incarnation of the Njoy Pure Wand words. One such search is people looking for videos of the Pure Wand in use. Sorry to disappoint!
However……
I am pondering making a video of it. Not really a porn, per se, more of….an instructional porn. I wouldn’t show my face, I wouldn’t show even all of my body. But I really really want people to not be intimidated by the Pure Wand because it truly is my Holy Grail dildo. So I’m pondering this video, and pondering sharing it only with valid Pure Wand almost-owners as a way to convince them to take the plunge and purchase.
I’m not sure though.