Dec 282011

L'amourose MAE+ on the left, Marc Dorcel Secret Remote Control Vibe up top, and the We-Vibe 4 Plus on the right

SPECIAL NOTE: While this post was originally written in 2011, it has been heavily updated over the years. So if you’re here in 2016, rest assured that everything here is still relevant. When a new remote-controlled toy comes out and I have had the opportunity to review it / feel it and can talk about it here, I do so. The recommendations here are not out-dated.

Remote control vibrators have an appeal that is special and can be something really awesome & kinky for certain folks (public sex toy play is very fun). I get a ton of people asking for recommendations on a really good model; you’ll see plenty of cheapies and definitely plenty that cost well over $100 so how are you to know which is worth the time and money? Hopefully I can help steer you on the right path and save you money and disappointment. Let me assure you, there’s more disappointment in this niche of sex toys than anything else. WHY is it so damn hard for a company to come out with a really awesome remote control vibrator? Honestly I’ve yet to come across one that meets the Remote Controlled Vibrator Holy Trinity.

First, you have to determine where you want most of the vibration (vaginal/g-spot, clitoral, or anal) and then determine if you actually want to be able to orgasm in public or you’re just looking for a tease. Just looking for a tease? You’re in luck because that’s about all many of these are capable of unless you’re very sensitive and find it easy to orgasm. So to me, a really good remote controlled sex toy has these three features nailed down – aka the Remote Controlled Vibrator Holy Trinity:

1. A remote that allows the remote-holder to know what the toy-wearer is feeling – they need to know when it’s on, when it’s off, what level of vibration it’s on, etc.

2. A remote that works from across the room, or 20 feet away while the person is in any position and wearing clothes – I’ve had a few that work fine if I’m spread-eagle and naked but since many people want this for public play…..that doesn’t work.

3. A design that fits and vibrations that feel good – why the fuck is this so hard? Who is designing these? Klingons?

What the Hell is Happening Here

Let’s talk about the first one. A common complaint with many wireless remote controlled vibrators is that the remote control holder doesn’t have a damn clue what’s going on. They push a button and that’s it. Lelo, as you all know, set out to majorly change that and give the person holding the remote a much more active role in the process with their Sensemotion technology. The Club Vibe 2.OH from OhMiBod has a remote that kinda fixes that…except that it lights up, the remote is huge and it’s not at all discreet. The Club Vibe (both original and 2.Oh) is buzzy and weak, it looks uncomfortable and the 2.Oh has a button you must push on the vibrator to start it up and it lights up, too. I hope you don’t wear this in public with clothing that would show the lit up button through it! The Marc Dorcel Secret Vibe (the secret being that achingly boring vibrations) has been the only vibe I’ve come across in the under-$100 category that had a decent remote – small, unobtrusive, didn’t light up or vibrate but it had an LCD panel that told me what was going on.

One last problem – most of these don’t tell the controller if the connection to the vibrator has been lost.

Many of these wireless remote controlled vibrators take batteries – weird batteries, lots of batteries and go through them at a rapid pace, so that’s another thing to keep in mine.

Bluetooth and Smartphone Apps

Newer versions are starting to use Bluetooth and can be controlled with an app which is really great in theory but so far isn’t working out. I couldn’t get the We-Vibe 4 Plus to reliably keep the Bluetooth connection, and I’m not alone in this problem.  I haven’t tried the blueMotion Nex 1 but the design requires panties (like the Club Vibe 2.OH design) and also won’t work for people with full labia and buried clits. Looking at the Google Play Store, both apps for We-Vibe and Ohmibod only rate about a 3.5 out of 5, with a lot of complaints that things just aren’t working the way they should. Another line of vibes with a Smartphone app is the new Je Joue Nuo and Duo – but the app is currently only available for the iPhone. WTF! In an age where plenty of people are using something other than an iPhone (like me!) this is a pretty dumb move. I won’t even review these until they make an app for Android.

A Remote That Works

So far, the Lelo Sensemotion line has the only remote I’ve experienced that kept a connection through flesh, clothing and across a room. It even worked from another room for me. I liked the Tiani design best; I don’t feel confident that the Tiani 3 has better vibrations than the Tiani 2, plus that boxy clitoral part may or may not be better. It is available in Canada and perhaps for less given the dollar conversion.

Just because a vibe has an app, doesn’t mean it’ll work – see also: We-Vibe 4 Plus review. I couldn’t even insert the We-Vibe the way it was meant to be inserted; as soon as I did it would drop the connection. Many other remote control vibrators are the same way, and the remote only works if I’m naked and legs-spread. Fail. The updated We-Vibe Sync isn’t much better for connectivity.

But What About the Vibrations!

So what if the Lelo Lyla 2 has a remote that lets the remote-holder know what’s going on and works through clothing, flesh and even a wall? If you’re looking for anything beyond a tease or you need more power, then you’re not going to love the Lyla 2. But if the tease factor is it? Go for it. The style is meant to be worn vaginally but that would be a total waste on me – so a snug pair of panties will keep it in place clitorally for most people well enough.

The We-Vibe 4 Plus’s vibrations were utterly boring to me, but sensitive folks might be more excited.  The vibrations from the L’amourose line are pretty powerful, but the designs work best for people who don’t need pinpoint stimulation and whose clitoris is more exposed.  The Marc Dorcel Secret Vibe was atrocious, so so piddly.

Remote Control Vibrators to avoid:
  • Anything by Bnaughty – the vibrations are piss poor and the remote is crap on the cheaper one, and doesn’t work through clothing on the pricier one.
  • Anything by CalExotics –  Whether it’s a gimmicky panty vibe or horrible butterfly, Dr Berman branded or their overpriced Embrace line, the quality is bottom of the barrel. Do not waste your money.  The vibrations are going to be surface-buzzy and weak, the unit will break easily and the remote will not work as advertised.
  • Anything from Pipedream and their Fetish Fantasy line, for the same reasons as I list for avoiding CalExotics.
  • I’ve heard more negative reviews than positive about the gimmicky Lelo Hula Beads and of course, avoid that damn Lelo Ida
  • Due to my own experiences and those of readers, I can’t recommend the We-Vibe 4 Plus – issues with connectivity and the vibrations? Yawn.
  • As mentioned above, the Marc Dorcel Secret Vibe or the anal version, Genius Secret Vibe – too weak and buzzy
  • Anything under $50. So far, not a damn one under $50 has been worth 5 cents.
  • Jopen Envy 15 – I had high hopes, but the vibration placement is stupid, the vibrating portion glows red and the remote is fucking dumb. BUT the motor is super powerful. It’s the most powerful of those listed. My reasons for hating it are complicated and some might be body-related and wouldn’t bother you as much. I recommend reading the review if you’re looking for something under $100.
Remote Control Vibrators to consider:
  • Lelo Lyla 2 – the vibrations aren’t super-powered but it’s the one in the line that might work for you. I would find a way to use it externally with a pair of snug panties, personally. Quiet, and the remote (which vibrates normally) can be turned to stealth mode. 
  • Consider the Lelo Tiani 2 or 3. Again, it’s not powerful in vibrations, but they’re a little better than the We-Vibe, plus I liked the fit of the Tiani 2 better than the We-vibe. Quiet, and the remote (which vibrates normally) can be turned to stealth mode.
  • L’amourose’s line is decent, preferably the Mae or Lana – the bullet is very powerful and the remote is a little weird to use at first, plus it’s big. Also, the remote-holder doesn’t fully know what remote-wearer is feeling. If it had a functioning smartphone app, it would be pretty great. Apparently this wasn’t selling well and the first run remotes didn’t work at all, so most stores have discontinued it.
  • Je Joue Nuo or Dua – I’ve heard good things about the vibrations. The pen style remote is wonky, but for iPhone users the app seems to work pretty well.







Black plastic bullet with control pack with velvety texture. Plastic vibrator kit that includes: a traditional vibrator, a pocket rocket, a bullet and controller and a 1 oz. water-based lubricant. Harmony Powerful waterproof bullet with two speeds


Sep 222008

{On a side note, this is my 100th post!}

The weather was starting to turn colder, the leaves began their change to color. This morning I decided to go for a stroll through the woods at a nearby state park with trails. I tend to be a bit of a hermit, so I decided to go early in the morning. With my headphones on and music going, I started off on an easy trail. About 5 minutes in and I had yet to see another soul, which was just perfect. I had my digital camera tucked in my pocket in the hopes I would catch a few wild animals at this hour if I walked quietly enough.

But what I saw out of the corner of my eye was not an animal; it was wild though. I stopped the moment I caught movement and looked for the source. As I stopped the Ipod and removed my headphones I saw the obvious flash of skin in the foliage. About 15 feet back into the woods from the trail was a young guy. He was leaning his back against a tree, facing mostly away from the trail. His pants and boxers pulled down to his knees, he was lost in his own little world, masturbating at a slow and deliberate pace. I stood there frozen, my heart racing, not knowing what to do. Stay? Leave? Avoid looking his direction but make some noise?

As I stood there a minute longer, he still had no idea I was there. The shock and shy fear slowly left me and the devious side came out. I remembered the camera in my pocket. There is such a plus to digital cameras -well, many pluses – but I always have all sounds turned off on mine, in case I need to catch a cat mid-dream. Or as luck would have it, a man, mid-jerk. Slowly, stealthily I pulled out the camera and turned it on. Staring at him through the LCD screen, zoomed in a bit. I kept his face in the frame, to make sure he still didn’t see me. At first I snapped a few photos but then I hit the record button. Hey…if he was going to take the risk, he should accept the consequence. My heart rate had slowed considerably from the hummingbird speed it was at a few minutes ago, but the adrenaline rush was quickly turning to lust. My lips parted and jaw slackened, I stared in awe.

Very soon in, his hand began moving faster. One hand stroking his cock, the other I think was wrapped around the base, or perhaps cupping his balls. At that moment I welcomed the chill in the morning air as I felt my cheeks and cleavage flush from arousal.  His hips arced away from the tree and I heard a small moan escape his lips. I crept forward on the trail a few feet closer, eyes on the camera, camera on him. You could have taken my pulse with a palm cupped to my cunt, and I was well aware of the dull ache and wetness building. His hand began pumping his cock in a blur and the small moan became a deep, primal male groan.

The moment he began to come I deliberately stepped off the trail into dry leaves and sticks; his eyes flew open and he looked over at me at once shocked and thrilled as he took in both me and the camera, his cock still pulsing out the remains of his orgasm. I would later relish that moment – the combination on his face of the thrill of being caught, the ecstasy of orgasm and the shock of seeing me with the camera – when I replayed it over and over again on my computer.

I shut off the camera and pocketed it, and walked toward him. He was standing there frozen, breathing heavily, hand still on his cock. I wrapped a hand around his cock, covering the sticky head, languidly stroking just a bit. As I looked up at him, right into his deep brown eyes, I cocked an eyebrow and said:

“I wonder what view the next hiker will be getting?”

Aug 262008

An exhibitionist, a horny photographer and a new camera – dangerous!

A date and I took my camera for a trip to the park on Saturday night. After I got half nekkid, I offered to take care of his growing problem. There’s a few pictures of that but I don’t think I dare post them ;)

heh, pose looks funny but my head was thrown back with the giggle-fits

Sunday my partner and I tested it out in the shower. The lens on this camera got steamed up whereas my old one didn’t for some reason, but I think that just led to some interesting photos. Don’t ya think? More have been emailed to Vixen for Tits For Troops! The other “color accent” red bra pic will be posted for next week’s HNT. This week are the final Scrabble pics!

I’m in the process of moving out of my first apartment here at Blogger/Blogspot, and have purchased my own domain name. As soon as I figure all this crap out (CSS? Wha??) I’ll direct you all to my new digs.

Lastly…I’ve lost one of my boys. “T”. I received a bizarre email in the middle of the night from him. Not his usual greeting, signed his real first name…
Titled “Gone”, and indeed he is. No explanation, I couldn’t even ask why as his email account was deleted. I’m sad, I’m going to miss him. He’s one of very few guys who’ve seen it all – all my pics, a few video clips, webcam (when I owned a working one), phone….and he loved every bit I had to offer. I loved talking with him online. Oh how I loved his voice. A few short video clips and my chat logs are really all I have left of him now.

T….if you read this…I’m going to miss you. I hope all is alright, and if you can, please just let me know what happened.

Jul 042008

I have a new potential partner-in-crime….as his situation is a bit delicate, I won’t use his real initial, but merely X. X is not single and really shouldn’t be playing with me, but he likes to play with fire. This delicate balance of fire and reality will be leading us to some rather interesting hook-ups, I’m sure.

The other day was a hell of a way to start things off. Mornings before work are easiest for him and we found a location that seemed foolproof. A very large office building that’s unoccupied, and has a very large parking lot. It’s near some retail places but at 7:30 in the morning it doesn’t affect us.

I show up dressed for work, in a low-cut v-neck top and a full soft knee-length skirt (no panties, of course). Within minutes we are locked in a heated kiss, him pressing into me with my back against his car. We are quickly lost in the kiss and each others’ touches as his hands slide over me in all the right ways. His hands in my hair, pulling firmly, with his lips trailing kisses down my neck and finally cleavage. It wasn’t enough. He unhooked my bra and pushed up both bra and shirt so that both breasts were on display for him to touch, kiss, suck. His teasing fingers trailed along my inner thighs before finally plunging into wet cunt.

While my hand was busy on his thick cock, he bent down to suck and kiss my nipple. There I am, pressed up against his car – my breasts exposed and his mouth on one; my head thrown back in pleasure, eyes closed, I’m sure I was moaning; his hand had my skirt pushed up and his fingers buried in me; my hand was stroking his cock. I slowly open my eyes during this and over his head I see someone jogging. Just a guy out for his morning jog. Lucky guy got quite an eyeful – he could see everything. I waved a little and he just grinned at me. I told X “There’s someone here, a jogger”. Wow that boy shot straight up! He didn’t look around, but he stopped what he was doing. Poor thing was so embarassed. I don’t know why, it wasn’t his parts on display!

It took a minute for the jogger to go past us entirely. The moment he was (past us but not out of sight) I snapped X out of it by crouching down to take his cock in my mouth.

We didn’t have much time that morning for complete fun, but we both came from each others hand.

It is still my natural gut reaction when caught doing something I shouldn’t be doing, to immediately stop and cover it up. It’s not like the guy was a cop there to give us a warning or fine for indecent exposure ;) I need to learn to quell my natural reaction – I think I would have gotten off more, and I know the jogger would have enjoyed it, if I simply hadn’t said anything to X. As the day wore on I found myself wondering how often that jogger is there at that time of day. If he’s the only one we might see. And, if Jogger might be looking for us the next time he crests that hill, hoping to steal a few moments of spying before he lets himself be seen. Perhaps that is all wishful thinking on my part.

Or perhaps the next time he catches us, we won’t notice until it’s obviously too late to care, with my bare ass exposed and X fucking me doggy style out in the open. As I write this, and imagine possibilities while recalling the realities that occurred, my cunt is throbbing and wet….