Apr 292011

I write this post on my last day of the job I was working when I started this blog. It wouldn’t feel right to not blog today while at work.

Well. Kind of. 2 years ago we were “restructured” and so while I still worked for the same branch and in the same block of buildings, my job duties and the building I worked in changed. And with that change back then also coincided the beginning of changes in what I’d be able to get away with at work. There was a time with a certain man when it was commonplace for me to be masturbating at my desk while chatting away with him or someone else, taking photos to be shared with him, someone else, and/or the blog. Usually all three.

So while I will walk away today from this building and these particular coworkers knowing that it’s not the place I sat the day I first penned this blog, it’s still “the place I started this blog” at. And through fate, and the butterfly effect, it is roundabout because of this blog that I am leaving this job today and this state in a week. This fact alone is utterly mind-boggling to me: that because of connections of connections I made through this blog my life is changing in a hundred ways. I never imagined that anything connected to this blog would have such a huge impact on me but this is the final straw of being proved wrong, and not the first time I’ve been proved wrong on that subject. While this blog is not over, this chapter of my life is and I have changed.

Yesterday I felt compelled to do two things “for old time’s sake”; the things that were once the staple and theme of this blog. I snapped some risky risque shots (to be shown in upcoming WantonWednesday posts), inspired to recreate the first office photo taken. I then pulled out my trusty silver bullet vibrator and orgasmed at my desk, again, one last time. I didn’t do it for the reasons of old…..sadly. I had no chat companion saying dirty things to me, no erotica fiction tumbling forth from my fingertips. And it was with sadness that I realized I had no one to show the photos to, either. Yes, you all….. But back when I was taking these regularly it was always for someone else. A request, a demand, a dare. And this time I had nobody to giggle and send the snaps to. It was a very melancholy realization. The nature and backbone of this blog has changed….for better or for worse, I don’t know. My social-sexual life is nothing like it was that first summer of blogging or the first year even. Will it ever be again? I don’t know.

I’ve always been the sentimental sort. To a fault. I didn’t much like high school; I wasn’t popular, I hated the school itself and the throng of other students pressing around you at all times, I hated the classwork and etc. But yet I still had connections. I still “grew up” there. Had friends. On the last day of high school I cried. I took photos. I looked around at every period of the day with purposeful eyes, trying to memorize everything. I knew that life was changing and even though I was leaving behind a chapter that wasn’t always good to me it still held a treasured place in my life. That’s kind of how I’m viewing this last day. Did I start the blog *because* I worked here? Because of my dire boredom back then? Quite possibly, yes. I started it not long after I found a way around the very restrictive internet policy (I used a remote login site called Logmein.com, and just did everything via my home computer. In later times I would up the security to accessing Logmein from Portable Firefox loaded up on a usb memory key). I browsed OkCupid and made acquaintances that led to me creating this blog. To finding the world of sex-blogging in general. While this city and what we thought we’d get out of the move to here ultimately let us down, I think I’m realizing that it was a necessary step. We were meant to be here at this time. It doesn’t make it suck less, I can’t stop viewing it as somewhat of a stall to our lives (because the progressions and gains that were “supposed” to happen, didn’t)…..but it brought us to this day. To next week. To the next big chapter.

So yes, while I won’t miss much of anything concrete here – (not the buildings, or the way things are run, or the job I did, or most of the people around me, or the office itself, or the commute, or the downtown city, or for that matter our apartment) save for one or two people and the simple convenience of many stores being in a close driving distance – I am a little sentimental about this day. To be certain though I am happy for it’s arrival. I am happy at the prospect of my future after our move, happy to move on from this place and this state and the ideals here.

But I won’t forget what this place did to me, for me, brought me. I have no ties, though, no true friends and no family in this city. The few friends I made here will shortly fade away I’m sure…..and so there you have it.

It’s time to go.


Other than a WW post next week, expect this place to remain fairly quiet yet until we move and get a little settled in. I think both hubs and I have kinda been unconsciously waiting on me to be done with work for the full-throttle srs bzns packing to begin (which doesn’t leave us much time to do it, but then I think we both perform best under pressure).

Sep 192009

I’ve been spending a good bit of time lately on a couple of sexy forums/bulletin boards. (No, I’m not saying which ones, protecting my privacy a bit) Between posting and sharing pics (99% of them are ones you guys have seen, don’t worry) it’s been a big help to my feeling “flawed”. All your supportive comments kicked me out of my foxhole and I landed right in the thick of things. It’s also been a boost to my libido and writing creativity, so expect to see a few more fiction pieces soon. These places are wonderful for me to re-connect with my exhibitionist/voyeur roots and indulge my fetishes for those. Will I go so far as to get on cam or audio for a whole chat room to see? That’s still undecided.

I’ve started using my vibe again at work – but sadly, I cannot find my wooden dildo that I used to love to use in tandem. It’s here somewhere….in the clutter and piles…

So since the following pic got such good reception, I’ve decided to post it here too. I’m finding that there’s a lot more men who appreciate a woman of my size than I realized. Pity that most are not in my area, lol. Also a pity that the women I’m drooling over (who are returning the interest) are not in my area. It has reignited my absolute utter need to find a female sex partner. NEED.


Here I go again, being dangerous and bad. Don’t worry, you’ll hear all about it.

Jul 122009

There’s this guy who works in my office, one row over, and I think he might have a little thing for me. I’m not sure just how young he is, he’s old enough to be working there permanently and at something one step up from entry level but he has a baby face.

My job went from being a relaxed administrative assistant to a grumpy clerk who basically does glorified data entry most of the day. Type up a list of numbers, then head back to the printer for all the sheets that the program printed out that I have to then merge with the correct invoices. So, I print a lot. Frequently. Sometimes large batches.

Sadly, I don’t have my own printer. At the back end of every other row is a printer. This guy doesn’t work in my aisle, he’s on the other side (our “adjoining wall” sides are a little over 5 feet high, the cube separating walls are a little over 4.5 feet high) but he uses the same printer as I do. It’s a given that most times, someone else’s stuff is mixed in with mine. For some reason he’s not real adept at finding his stuff, and I’ve got the method down pat and can flip through the stack in mere seconds. He’s taken to occasionally teasing me that I purposely print out a batch of shit right when he prints out one page. And even though I couldn’t possibly know, lol, we end up back there at the same time frequently.

When I walk by his row or he’s in mine, I catch him staring at me.

The other week, as he walked in the thru-way aisle that’s just in front of my cube, I stopped him.

“Hey M, did they put more toner in yet?”

He looked down at me over the shorter partition and fumbled for his words. Pretty much, no, they hadn’t.

Then I realized the view he just had.

Poor kid.


Apr 192009

I need a muse.

I want to write smut and erotica but it’s just lurking back there in the recesses of my mind. It’s not coming out. Also a reason why there haven’t been any pics except for spontaneous camera-phone pics is because I can’t think up anything fresh and doable.

So, I’m hiring a muse.

What’s the pay? First look at what I write, input on it, first look at photos and helping to choose the versions I post if there’s more than 1 good one.

What’s the requirement? Someone who’s online daily and has creative thoughts. Oh and relatively familiar with my blog, what I’ve written, photos I’ve posted…..just so all your ideas aren’t repeats of what I’ve done.

Your incentive……


Taken while driving/in traffic on my way home from work one day after being teased…


Please list your level of desire, qualifications, etc below. If you are too shy to leave your application in the comments then by all means email me. And if you can’t find my email address…..then you shouldn’t be applying  ;)

Mar 122009

I discovered not too long ago that if I’m on my knees on the floor behind my desk, most people that walk by won’t even see me. Not unless they stand at my counter or come around behind my desk to get something. If they do notice me I can use the pretense of untangling the cords under my desk.

Being down there allows me to shove one or both hands down inside pants and panties to spread my cunt and gyrate the vibe against my clit in just that right way so that I go crashing over the edge of orgasm.

It also dirties up my knees and sometimes musses my hair.

Out of the sheer blue a switch somewhere is flicked and he orders me to the restroom to insert my toys.

I was so shocked that I spoke out of turn. “Do you have any idea how much work I have to do today??”

“I’m sorry…… did I ask how much work you have? And who the fuck said I was going to let you come you presumptuous whore? Now go do it.”

Off I went but with no warm-up I was not wet. Lube is not something I usually need and so it is not in my naughty pouch at work. And that large wooden dildo is just not going in in my current state. I sat there in the corner stall and thought for a minute. The dildo went into my mouth where I provided enough lubrication to ease it inside of me. Bullet in place next. When I got back to my desk I had to make a conscious effort to sit down carefully, gingerly, with that 1″ of hard wooden dildo sticking out of my cunt.

Five times this whore was on the floor for her Master.


Count ’em:


10:41 am marks the first orgasm. Preceded by nothing special, in fact we were both too busy for much of an exchange. Two minutes after he ordered me to turn the bullet on high I begged to come. On my knees, my hands shoved down my open jeans. Fingers prying apart my lips to expose my clit as much as possible. My forehead resting against the edge of my desk I feel the rush of tingles and the calm before the storm and then my cunt pulses and my body jerks a little.


11:10 am marks the second orgasm. Preceded by a whole bunch of filthy words and degrading virtual submission before he orders me to come. Name calling and, were he in front of me, there would be a dark deviant glint in his eyes. I try to do it in my chair but I need the cover of privacy a bit. Down I slid with one hand shoving the hard dildo more firmly to my g-spot and the other gripping the bullet to the sweet spot. My chin resting on the edge of my desk this time as I allowed my eyes to flutter closed for 2 seconds as the rush washed over me.


11:58 am marks the third orgasm. Again preceded by nothing special. Just a build-up of sensation overload and the desire to kick things over the edge. Sometimes a gal can only handle that climb for so long. I begged for this one again, to come before lunch rather than shutting the vibrator off entirely. While we parted ways during lunch hour I scurried off to the restroom to snap a requested photo for him. The moment he comes back he decides that I have it in me to give him four orgasms today. Vibrator back on.


1:44 pm marks the fourth orgasm. Preceded by the hottest most erotic scenario anyone has ever painted for me before. While I crave a firm hand around my throat in the D/s dynamic, I’d never considered breath-play before. It is now in the list of “must do” with him. His words and commands pushed me over the edge this time but I still felt the need to continue tradition and be on my knees for him. Where I belonged.


2:50 pm marks the fifth and final orgasm. Preceded by another breathplay fantasy which was preceded by a trip to the restroom to fuck myself hard with the dildo. I knew I needed his hands on my throat when I see him in reality, but this pushes that for me. This last fantasy and orgasm had my heart racing and I swear I nearly saw stars from the extremity of it all. Soon after he sent me off to the restroom to remove everything, but first I was to fuck myself with that dildo again. You’ll read about that side of it soon.



Mar 112009

So you know how, for those of you who have a site tracker sort of thing, it can be really amusing and informative to see where people are coming from and how they got to you?

Sometimes…….not so much. Suddenly there were all these hits from a forum thread somewhere, to an HNT from a few months ago. What I read there about myself was hurtful to me. Sure, they don’t know me from the slut next door and they’re being judgmental and petty and all sorts of things. Sure, I shouldn’t take to heart what they might say about how I look. But I am a lot more thin-skinned than I’d like to be sometimes and it really pierced me. As my chest clutched in anxiety and hurt, watching the hits roll in, the absolutely wonderful husband of Coy Pink, Alec, whipped up a bit of code to redirect the gawkers from there to elsewhere. I don’t want reassurances that they’re assholes and I shouldn’t listen – to be frank the words were unkind in their delivery but they did speak the truth. I have already heard the dismissive reassurances from the friends I told this to but it doesn’t quite erase it.

I’m tapped out creatively right now with photos. I’m fed up with my own harsh self-criticism of said photos. Until I can think up something better than Angle 28 of My Big Tits, I’m done with HNT for the near future. I also prefer the sincere praise of my erotica, or the helpful/thoughtful/warm comments on my other writings to the once-weekly ogling of my exposed naughty bits. Sure I’ll still put up a photo here and there, but not like clockwork, not for HNT. Not now.

So instead, tell me, do you like my new site design? With the help of the ever-wonderful Alec in nudging the code bits around when I threw up my hands, the beautiful vector brushes from this talented girl, and the critical (not in the bad way, in the “darken that, lighten that, it’ll flow/pop better”) commentary from others with a great design eye like Naughty Secretary and my partner and others – I used the barebones template of this theme (despite its broken footer.php file) but obviously I totally did my own graphics. I just don’t know enough yet to write my own code. But the design idea and the Photoshop work is mine. It took me about 2 weeks to go from start to completion with both the graphics and the code tweaks (mainly because I tried my hardest to do as much code myself as I could, even though it undoubtedly took me 10 times longer than it would have taken Alec to do the same thing).

Oh and here’s your obligatory tit flashing :)

Same parking lot as the last time, more boldness. Same time of day. If there were any workers of the factory just below this lot in their parking lot, looking up in my direction, they couldn’t have missed this! lol