Apr 292011

I write this post on my last day of the job I was working when I started this blog. It wouldn’t feel right to not blog today while at work.

Well. Kind of. 2 years ago we were “restructured” and so while I still worked for the same branch and in the same block of buildings, my job duties and the building I worked in changed. And with that change back then also coincided the beginning of changes in what I’d be able to get away with at work. There was a time with a certain man when it was commonplace for me to be masturbating at my desk while chatting away with him or someone else, taking photos to be shared with him, someone else, and/or the blog. Usually all three.

So while I will walk away today from this building and these particular coworkers knowing that it’s not the place I sat the day I first penned this blog, it’s still “the place I started this blog” at. And through fate, and the butterfly effect, it is roundabout because of this blog that I am leaving this job today and this state in a week. This fact alone is utterly mind-boggling to me: that because of connections of connections I made through this blog my life is changing in a hundred ways. I never imagined that anything connected to this blog would have such a huge impact on me but this is the final straw of being proved wrong, and not the first time I’ve been proved wrong on that subject. While this blog is not over, this chapter of my life is and I have changed.

Yesterday I felt compelled to do two things “for old time’s sake”; the things that were once the staple and theme of this blog. I snapped some risky risque shots (to be shown in upcoming WantonWednesday posts), inspired to recreate the first office photo taken. I then pulled out my trusty silver bullet vibrator and orgasmed at my desk, again, one last time. I didn’t do it for the reasons of old…..sadly. I had no chat companion saying dirty things to me, no erotica fiction tumbling forth from my fingertips. And it was with sadness that I realized I had no one to show the photos to, either. Yes, you all….. But back when I was taking these regularly it was always for someone else. A request, a demand, a dare. And this time I had nobody to giggle and send the snaps to. It was a very melancholy realization. The nature and backbone of this blog has changed….for better or for worse, I don’t know. My social-sexual life is nothing like it was that first summer of blogging or the first year even. Will it ever be again? I don’t know.

I’ve always been the sentimental sort. To a fault. I didn’t much like high school; I wasn’t popular, I hated the school itself and the throng of other students pressing around you at all times, I hated the classwork and etc. But yet I still had connections. I still “grew up” there. Had friends. On the last day of high school I cried. I took photos. I looked around at every period of the day with purposeful eyes, trying to memorize everything. I knew that life was changing and even though I was leaving behind a chapter that wasn’t always good to me it still held a treasured place in my life. That’s kind of how I’m viewing this last day. Did I start the blog *because* I worked here? Because of my dire boredom back then? Quite possibly, yes. I started it not long after I found a way around the very restrictive internet policy (I used a remote login site called Logmein.com, and just did everything via my home computer. In later times I would up the security to accessing Logmein from Portable Firefox loaded up on a usb memory key). I browsed OkCupid and made acquaintances that led to me creating this blog. To finding the world of sex-blogging in general. While this city and what we thought we’d get out of the move to here ultimately let us down, I think I’m realizing that it was a necessary step. We were meant to be here at this time. It doesn’t make it suck less, I can’t stop viewing it as somewhat of a stall to our lives (because the progressions and gains that were “supposed” to happen, didn’t)…..but it brought us to this day. To next week. To the next big chapter.

So yes, while I won’t miss much of anything concrete here – (not the buildings, or the way things are run, or the job I did, or most of the people around me, or the office itself, or the commute, or the downtown city, or for that matter our apartment) save for one or two people and the simple convenience of many stores being in a close driving distance – I am a little sentimental about this day. To be certain though I am happy for it’s arrival. I am happy at the prospect of my future after our move, happy to move on from this place and this state and the ideals here.

But I won’t forget what this place did to me, for me, brought me. I have no ties, though, no true friends and no family in this city. The few friends I made here will shortly fade away I’m sure…..and so there you have it.

It’s time to go.


Other than a WW post next week, expect this place to remain fairly quiet yet until we move and get a little settled in. I think both hubs and I have kinda been unconsciously waiting on me to be done with work for the full-throttle srs bzns packing to begin (which doesn’t leave us much time to do it, but then I think we both perform best under pressure).

Jun 172010

Two years.

500 posts.


386,000 visitors to my site.

~1,000 subscribers to my feed.

80 sex toy / sexy fun items reviewed.

4 trips to NYC, 1 trip to Seattle, and 1 upcoming calendar.

3 projects – e[lust], the sex blogger co-op and toyswap network.

Countless awesome peers, acquaintances, friendlies and supportive friends that I wouldn’t have without this blog? Priceless.

I’m in a different place than I was a year ago. Some things for better, some things….not. But I’m still grateful. I’m finally able to do things like my side projects to give a little back to the community that’s given me so much. I’m still learning, I’m still growing. I’ve hit some very recent number milestones and I’ve got this mild obsession with numbers and statistics. The 500 posts and just last week hitting 1000 readers tickles me.

Thank you for having me.

On a side note, if you’ve happened to enjoy me & my blog, consider nominating me for the 2010 Sexy Bloggers list, along with your other favorite sexy bloggers.

Feb 222010

So yesterday I told you about these evil crawler bots and how they’re able to silently corrupting blog files into oblivion if you don’t catch it soon enough.

Even if you do figure it out quickly, 98% of the time your files are already affected. Even if you remove the “bug” there’s still going to be some issues. Thing is though, unless you’re a programming geek, you’re not going to be able to manually pick out all the little bug poop bits from your files. What you need is a clean version of your blog.

Except….you don’t have it, do you.

No, you likely do not.

Some people that I’ve talked to use a WP plugin that creates an automatic backup of their database and it gets emailed to them. Ok, great. But guess what? It’s not enough.Some of you are gonna be all “WHAT database??? There’s a database??” cause I know I was.

Last week when dealing with SBC.com, we found that out. We also found out that SQL databases are tricky bitches. If you don’t know anything about backing up the database, when you do figure out how to do it manually you’re just going to let the default options go. Except those default options leave extraneous info that is actually bad; it confuses the restore (at least with GoDaddy). The default DB backup included “Create” lines and lines for the “information schema” which are essentially duplicate commands and duplicate commands are NOT friends with SQL. They made the restore attempts spit back errors at me like mad.

Let me back up. First of all, the problems with SBC are not ones that most of you will encounter when needing to rebuild your site. The reason being is that we didn’t have access to the domain files because they were under someone else’s account. The database, so we all thought, contains the posts and the comments and all that good stuff. So that’s all you need, right? A few Godaddy guys lead me to believe that. It’s  not the case. You need a whole shit ton of .php files that are running amok through your WP files. These .php files talk to the database and link everybody up.

There’s two ways to get these .php files.

1. If you have access to the hosting account, you can go into the file manager and copy everything to your hard drive.This is the more complicated way I guess, bc the next option just involves a few clicks and one file, however this method will also backup all your theme files, stylesheets if you’ve tweaked the theme, etc. But there might be an instance when this option is your only option.

2. You can go into the WordPress dashboard and do an Export. ” When you click the button below WordPress will create an XML file for you to save to your computer. This format, which we call WordPress eXtended RSS or WXR, will contain your posts, pages, comments, custom fields, categories, and tags. Once you’ve saved the download file, you can use the Import function on another WordPress blog to import this blog.” This option is simple. It saved everything except the tweaks I’d done to the stylesheet.css for the theme (since I had to re-upload the theme) and the contents of the widgets in the sidebar.

For 3 days, I couldn’t do either of these options. The moment Diva was told by GoDaddy that we hadn’t actually truly transferred the blog, they had her change something called the “nameservers”. The nameserver is what tells the site where to find its files. Once the nameserver was changed from pointing at Dreamhost to pointing at Godaddy…..buhbye blog as we knew it. Suddenly we were staring at a blank “baby” blog. No posts, no theme, no nuttin. Some asshat at GD said “well you can just go into the WP dashboard and export” um no, no we can’t, since the dashboard sees the baby blog, too. It’s not like we could go to another http site address and snag the files, that wasn’t the case. When we FINALLY after 37 attempts got the stupid database to restore properly we were gutted to find out that nothing had changed on the blog. But thank you, GoDaddy, for not explicitly telling us what would happen when we changed the nameservers and asking us if we had ALL the files backed up from the WP dashboard.

My final call to GoDaddy was at first hopeless; he informed me that we *needed* all those WP files, the database alone wouldn’t bring back the posts even if I could recreate the theme by myself. Then it occurred to me. Wait a minute. This all went to hell the moment we changed the nameservers. Couldn’t we change them BACK to pointing at Dreamhost, and I could go into the WP Dashboard and export, then change them back to pointing to GD and import? Well…..he’d never done that before, but he supposed I could.

And I could. It took a few hours from the time at which I changed the nameserver values until I was able to go into the WP dashboard and be accessing the correct version/location of the blog. Since I had to do this twice because my first g-round I didn’t realize I had to copy the contents of the widgets, the whole import process took about 24 hours.  And once I imported? *cue angels singing from heaven* The beautiful pretty blog! It was back! Everything was there! We all jumped around and were excited. A few quirks with some photos were fixed and all was well. (this folks, is a shining example of how sometimes my weird ADD odd way of thinking can actually be a help)

So. What’s the moral of this story, kids?

Backing up WordPress is necessary. Backing up the database is not as useful as you’d like to think. Don’t get me wrong, you should do it, but don’t count on it to be your saving grace if all else is lost. If you have nothing but the database, it’s like having cherries and flour and butter and sugar and whatnot but no recipe or equipment to turn it from ingredients to pie.

As I said yesterday, I didn’t have to worry about this backing up with e[lust] because GoDaddy backs up everything (they have a “snapshot” of your files for every day of the last 3 weeks I think). Every file, they have – except for the database, since it’s always in use it can’t be automatically backed up. Because my site was hacked, it wasn’t the posts that I needed to restore, it was the php files.

If You Have a Self-Hosted WordPress Blog (and you don’t have Godaddy as a host)

1. Like your theme? Have you made changes to the stylesheet at all? (if not you, then someone else?) Then you need to back up the stylesheet/phps because the WP export won’t do it all. When I imported the WP dashboard export, the theme didn’t follow along. And of course, you know me, I had made changes to the theme from the original.  Luckily though I had also manually copied the contents of the css and the php files from the theme editor over to text files. Some copy/pasting and we were visually pretty again.

2. As often as you can think to do it, manually perform the WP export from the dashboard. I tried looking for WP plugins that will automatically do this but there were either complicated as fuck or not compatible with the recent upgraded version of WP. Extra precautions would tell you to save these XML files someplace other than your harddrive, because you never know when that could die.**This export backup won’t save your sidebar/widget contents. If you’ve got a lot of text boxes filled with banners and links and fun stuff in the sidebar, you should do a copy/paste as I instructed for the theme files**

3. Add the plugin called “WP – DB – Backup”. Go to “Plugins” then “Add New” and then search for that one and click on “install”. Then activate and go to “Tools”, “Backup” to check off all the boxes (I left the “exclude post revisions” unchecked because who knows, I might need that) and tell it to email you the backup zip file. (don’t forget to schedule daily or weekly backups, depending on how often you put up a new post).

Now then, why am I telling you to do step 3 if step 2 saves the posts/comments that the DB saves but can’t “read” without the php files? Because at least step 3 is automatic and daily. Step 2 relies upon you remembering to do it. Even if your last WP backup was a month ago, you could still import that database backup and then go to your hosting provider (PHPMyAdmin control panel or similar) and restore yesterday’s DB, bringing your recent posts and comments back.

If You Have a Self-Hosted WordPress Blog (and you DO have GoDaddy as a host)

1. Like your theme? Have you made changes to the stylesheet at all? (if not you, then someone else?) Then you need to back up the stylesheet/phps because the WP export won’t do it all. When I imported the WP dashboard export, the theme didn’t follow along. And of course, you know me, I had made changes to the theme from the original.  Luckily though I had also manually copied the contents of the css and the php files from the theme editor over to text files. Some copy/pasting and we were visually pretty again.

3. Add the plugin called “WP – DB – Backup”. Go to “Plugins” then “Add New” and then search for that one and click on “install”. Then activate and go to “Tools”, “Backup” to check off all the boxes (I left the “exclude post revisions” unchecked because who knows, I might need that) and tell it to email you the backup zip file. (don’t forget to schedule daily or weekly backups, depending on how often you put up a new post).

Don’t worry about Step 2 unless you foresee yourself changing to another host. GD’s file snapshots will be there for you, ready to roll back to if something happens. You don’t have to pay extra for it, you don’t have to ask GD to do it for you. If you need to roll back, you log into your account, go to the hosting control panel and go to the File Manager. There’s two tabs there on the left. Current and History. If you were to click History you can see the files, and only one button is highlighted….”restore”. You’d just check off all the folders/files you need to have restored, and then click restore, and the roll back is complete. The only portion I’d recommend backing up on your own are the widgets, I don’t believe that there is any file in your directories that have the info of whats contained in the widgets. I need confirmation on this.

If You Have a WordPress Hosted Blog (i.e. http://yournamehere.wordpress.com)

You have one option. You do a WordPress Export via your dashboard as often as you can think of it. You can’t use plug-ins, and there’s no database to access. I read somewhere while searching for all this info that doing this Export won’t save your photos. But it did. When you go to Import, and you re-map the users (if you need to) there’s a section that says Import File Attachments and you have to check off that box. Voila, your photos appear.Again though your blogroll and sidebar widget contents aren’t saved in this. Manually copy them to a text file.

Understanding your Self-Hosted WordPress Blog’s Host Control Panel

Let’s say you have a self-hosted WP blog and you didn’t set things up yourself, you had help from a friend or fellow blogger. I don’t care who they are, you need to be able to rely on yourself to fix things should it all go to hell. You never know if one day you stop speaking to this person or they just simply aren’t available immediately to help you fix it. You need to learn how it works at the core level, which can be more complicated. But in the end, it’s worth it to be able to rely on yourself for bringing it all back up to speed. I know that there are companies now like Discreet Press who are taking advantage of the blogger who doesn’t want to have to deal with this stuff by charging a lot more than I’d ever pay by offering more than just hosting. They can do design, they can repair your site, etc. However in my opinion most of us bloggers can only afford the least expensive hosting plans. Which Godaddy DOES offer. And for the services they give you in comparison to other plain hosts (like Midphase) it’s a damn good deal. I don’t care how technically inept you might think you are right now you CAN learn the basic shit. I did. So many times over the last week and even just while writing this post I had these Algebra Class moments. I can’t tell you how many times I was able to come up with the right answer but got points knocked off because I couldn’t show my work. Don’t know how I got there, or I couldn’t explain how I got there, but I did and that wasn’t good enough for the math teachers. Anywho. If you’re financially stable enough to willingly hand over full control and reliance over to a company, then go for it I guess. In the end though I don’t care how stressful this all was, I didn’t like having to rely on others and would have taken on more stress if I could have just done it all myself. I hated having to ask Alec a million times for help. I hated having to wait for someone else to have the time to help me; I wasn’t paying them, I couldn’t just say DO IT NOW!!

What could happen to precipitate this need for self-preservation, in addition to the hacking I talked about yesterday?

Simple. You installed a WP plugin that wasn’t compatible. Shit, I just did it yesterday when searching for automatic full backup plugins and the like. One of them made site visitors see some wonky ass code after they commented. A second one rendered my WP dashboard completely fucking useless. I had to go into the GoDaddy hosting control panel to the File Manager or their java-based on-site FTP client and remove the plugins manually. That meant going to wp-content folder, plugin folder, and deleting the whole folder of the plugin I just installed. Like magic, my dashboard/site were working fine again. If you don’t know how to do this, your site will sit there all sad and broken for awhile while you panic and stress and maybe even cry as you wring your hands and wait for help to come, and you don’t want that. But you also have to understand those files which you CANNOT just delete, otherwise, you’ll render your blog sad and broken all over again.

A Final Word on GoDaddy

You’ll notice, if you actually managed to read the whole post, that sometimes the GoDaddy tech support people I had to call weren’t giving me 100% perfect information/instructions. Every tech support person there knows their basic GoDaddyWorld facts; some know more personally about how WP blogs work and how databases work. Some are better able to explain techy stuff to a clueless moron such as I was, and some left me more confused. Some fixed one little part of the database restore problem but not all of it (bc GD doesn’t support our database health in transferring from another host and restoring, database programmers are paid big bucks to understand the coding of it). Even though GD could have saved us 3 days of stress & anxiety by giving us the correct help and answers……you’re going to encounter that anytime you have to call any tech support. This doesn’t negate the fact that I still will fully recommend GoDaddy for what they provide to you at the cost they provide it at.

So, please, if you’ve ever gone through backing up, moving blogs, fixing blogs, restoring databases, managing your files thru the hosting control panel and can give information that I got wrong or didn’t list, tell me about it in comments!

Some links to help you further:

How to export the database from PHPMyAdmin: http://codex.wordpress.org/Backing_Up_Your_Database

Some screencaps to illustrate further:

Feb 212010

Wondering where I’ve been? This post should give you a good idea. However, this post has nothing to do with sex. It’s pure blogging geek. Feel free to skip this is you’re not a  blogger. If you ARE a blogger? I suggest you read this, and if you’ve got your own contingency plans, share them in the comments.

One day you can be skipping along, tra la la, and all is right in your little bloggy corner of the intarwebz. The next it could all go kablooey and you’re surrounded by rubble goin “WTF just happened and where the hell is my blog?!?!” It can be your own doing, or it could be thanks to a nasty strain of crawler bots that I’ve seen making the rounds lately. I’m going to talk about both situations that I’ve been through this week because it might help someone else.

Part 1: The Sneak Attack Crawler Bots

In the last few weeks, I’ve seen “crawler bots” hit e[lust], Coy Pink, Panthera Pardus and Tied Up Events (as of this writing it’s still being fixed/moved). Each acted a little bit different but the result was the same – they got in through a sidedoor and either inserted a php file, a virus or changed php files. This resulted in redirects (visitor comes to your blog and then gets automatically sent elsewhere), trojan/phishing thingies laying in wait for visitors to arrive, an inoperable WP dashboard, or your hosting provider suspending your account because suspect that YOU are running a phishing site.

The only common thread between the aforementioned sites is that we’re all self-hosted WordPress blogs. Perhaps we all had a plug-in that had a security hole; I’m not really sure. Coy Pink’s wonderful hub Alec helped me get e[lust] back up and running a few days before their site got snagged. On e[lust], according to the log files, the crawler bot came in through my contact form (cformsII) which hadn’t been upgraded in a little while. We know it was a crawler bot because we could see the site who accessed it; visiting their website they claimed to be an SEO crawler, who harmlessly goes through your site and if you want a report on how ot better your SEO, you can email them. Ummmm, they’re doing it without permission. Website Grader does the same thing except you sign-up for it FIRST and give permission and it’s all above-board. The only way that e[lust] was easily saved was because my domain & hosting is through GoDaddy. GoDaddy automatically backs up my site files and keeps at least a few days worth. All we had to do was go into my hosting control panel there and do a restore/rollback to a few days before the crawler bot hit me and changed all my files. Yes, it changed all my files. How did I know? Because in the file manager at GoDaddy I can see the “file last modified” date and it was all the same.

On Monday, Diva was checking her stat counter for her sites and noticed some very odd activity. Namely, IP addresses all over the world were accessing (or trying to access) WP files, some of which didn’t even exist. Somewhere along the line they managed to install something and I think a phishing email was sent out – hence all the attempts from various IP’s. We think it was an email sent because most had no referring site, they just appeared, but one had a referral of an email program. It acted like a virus but yet even a “security scanner” plug in couldn’t detect it. Since she hadn’t checked Stat Counter in a week or two, it wasn’t caught in time. The damage was done. Shortly after it was noticed, their host (Midphase) decided to suspend their site/account while we were trying to get into the file manager control panel. After following Midphase’s instructions of what needed to be done before they’d unsuspend, directories/files that the crawler had created for phishing were deleted…..but it harmed the structure of the database. The WP dashboard was gone. Images were disappearing because database “links” were broken. The site is still there but just barely. Since Midphase charges you $30 to rollback to the night before’s file-snapshot, that did us no good. The day before was also corrupt……plus it was $30. The log files also only went back a day, so we couldn’t learn the origination of the attack. We couldn’t fix the current problem, but we could prevent it from ever happening again, so they’re in the middle of transferring the domain and hosting to Godaddy. Some people might not like Godaddy but I can tell you this: My blogs have never gone down because of server downtime, my ass was saved because of their automatic backing up and free rollback options, and I feel that their control panels are easier to navigate. Plus their hosting deal was less than half the cost of Midphase.

Tonight I am going to be working on e[lust], as we expect TiedUpEvents.com to be fully transferred over to GoDaddy sometime tomorrow. The moment it is, and I can access the file manager, I’ll be restoring their posts (thankfully only a few so we can do it the harder way) and designing them a new theme. This past week though my time was spent trying to fix up the NYC Sex Blogger Calendar site that I designed just a few weeks ago for Tess and Diva. We had found it necessary to transfer the domain and hosting from the name of the blogger who originally set it up over to Diva & Tess and therefore GoDaddy so that I was able to change the theme and design. We didn’t ask the right questions after the transfer was “complete” and as it turned out, we found on Monday while dealing with TUE that SBC had actually not truly transferred. When we were altering the theme, creating new posts, etc we were still accessing the old blog at the old host. I had 4 days of gut-wrenching stress and pins-and-needles while trying to untwist the messes of the funky database export and the lack of some very, very necessary files that would have gotten this all over and done with in half a day instead of 4 (also if all of Godaddy’s tech support people were as knowledgeable as the one who finally helped me get what I need and make it all work together, it wouldn’t have taken 4 days). I’ve learned to never rely fully on anyone now no matter what.  However in Part 2 I want to talk about this kind of a blog mess and how you can prevent it for yourself.

Feb 092010

There are two sides to me. The Lilly you see online and the L that most others see in reality (and how I feel in reality). Sometimes there is a bleeding of the edges betwixt the two worlds and I am gaining comfort in that happening more. This isn’t to say that Lilly is a contrived persona. In fact, not at all. Lilly is what L truly is under the surface. Lilly is the no-holds-barred version of L. There are most definitely pixels shared between the two. A Venn diagram, if you will. The better I know someone and the more comfortable I am with them, the more Lilly and L meld together as almost one.

I don’t mind people staring at Lilly because it’s all virtual and I can control it. But in the stark lights of reality, L feels scrutinized. L says “Don’t look at me”. Lilly says “Oh hey, its naked time? Wait for me!”.

I think that the Lilly you see on Twitter is really more of a meld than most other places. Granted, a lot of L isn’t shared there but it’s much more of an equality of the two. Would L have the cohones to say to a just-introduced guy “Well HELL-o cute boy!!”? Nope. And will Lilly let her Eeyore side out online? As little as fucking possible, thank you. I think the matter at hand is this: how much more Lilly does L need to absorb into her public persona? For I know damn well she could stand more than she’s got.

Ya know why?

Because L needs a goddamn date, that’s why. L needs to move onwards and upwards and find a guy or girl who’s somewhere in between side dish and main course.

And Lilly is way more date-able. No, not because she’s got a bit of teh slut, but because she’s confident and happy-but-snarky (usually, unless she’s pissed off because SOME men think her every sentence must be met with “witty” innuendo-laden replies). But I have news for ya boys: L/Lilly doesn’t fuck on the first date anymore. Sorry, day late and fifty dollars short.

When I posted on my blog a few months ago about my flaws, it was the first time that readers really saw more of L. And I was scared to put that out there! Sometimes I feel like this anonymous blogging / dual-personality shit is fraudulent. I mean, it’s not –  not one bit of Lilly the personality/person is a lie. But I know that L isn’t very shiny and sparkly a lot of the time anymore and that can be a bit of a bummer. I’ve met a few people offline that knew me as Lilly for awhile and I do believe they ended up disappointed with L. I can’t say as I blame them either. Lilly is who I would be all the time if I were surrounded by friends/family/co-workers just like those of you that I know online; Lilly is who I would be without my neurosis.

So what is this? A crisis of identity? Multiple personalities disorder? Split brain? Split pea soup? One thing I do know is that I’m learning about myself in ways that I didn’t expect when I started the blog. I am more self-aware than ever before. Some days it’s a painful awareness but most days it’s a good thing. I can’t tell you the number of times I want to open my mouth and say “Holy shit! I just did XYZ!!!” and it of course related to this blog or e[lust] – and I have to clam up. For the first time I have money now to do a few things, because of my sites. Can I tell anybody? Nope. Can I tell anybody how rockin’ my site design was? Nope. None of my family even knows that I have gone to NYC *at all*, and I’ve gone 3 times since starting this blog. It was very hard for me in the weeks leading up to my November NYC trip to spend time with bloggy friends and attend the NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar Party to have to constantly lie about exactly why I was going to NYC (to the few people I told). I tested the waters once, and when someone asked me what all I was going to do there I listed off a few things and one of them was “see a Burlesque show”.



“……what’s ‘burlesque’???”

I tried a few vanilla, simple explanations and when the look of confusion just expounded with each word out of my mouth I finally gave up.

“Nevermind. I’m going to see a show and it’s nowhere near Broadway.”

And that, my friends, was the last time Lilly opened her mouth in L’s world.

Jan 092010

So a month or so ago I told you guys about Twisted Monk doing another Rope Bondage class, this time in Vegas. Well, the reason it was Vegas is because Tess and Diva were going out there on behalf of Carnal Nation to do special blogger-girl coverage of the Adult Entertainment Expo. Since Carnal Nation knew that sending Tess and Diva out there alone could result in trouble, they asked Monk to go babysit them, sort of. Keep them out of trouble, out of jail.

Turns out, Monk’s attention span drifted enough that the ladies nearly got themselves in the OIL WRESTLING pit. Oil wrestling. Really, girls? Carnal Nation is posting video clips of the trip, and that moment can be seen here. You can also see Monk being a brat and slapping an “I Njoy Anal” sticker on Diva’s back, or Monk interviewing my favorite Princess/Headmistress: Kali of Kink Academy.

One of the things I am mostest jealous over is that at the Expo, they get to see all kinds of sex toys. Touch them. Turn them on. (the toys, silly) See new toys that aren’t yet on the market. And of course, ogle pornstars. If that’s your thing, I mean. Me? Nah….just gimme toys. And please, keep Ron Jeremy away from me *shudders*

If you’re on Twitter you can follow most of the hi-jinks, as they all live tweet their way through it. I made up a special Twitter List of the important people I follow that are at this event, you can follow my list to keep up with it too. You can also keep an eye on the Special Coverage section at Carnal Nation to see all the videos and posts. It’s also a good idea to check Twitter for the photos like the 7 foot Mechanical Penis or Beautiful Glass Dildos (i want!!!) and of course AAG is there representing Jane’s Guide and she put up a ton of awesome photos of the Expo on the Jane’s Guide Facebook page.

Man…I wish I was there.

Maybe the girls will bring me back a souvenir though….. ;)