May 042014
 

A lot has happened in my 6 years here, and a lot has happened with me, sexually, over the last ten years. 6 years ago when I started this blog, I considered myself to be moderately kinky. Over the next few years, as a pseudo-relationship worked its course, I considered myself to be highly kinky. You see, when someone I’m very much attracted to is very much into something sexually, their enthusiasm for it rubs off on me and I suddenly see things from a new perspective. I’m not faking it for them, I’m genuinely exploring previously-unknown facets. Not all have worked out for me. Two attempts at being the dominant one in a sexual relationship failed miserably; the second one succeeded only in making me realize that I was more submissive than I assumed. When those two relationships ended, I didn’t have a distaste for being the dominant one, I just knew it wasn’t

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Jul 072013
 

This post has taken me weeks to write, and has seen more drafts than hockey did this week1. Most people write big, sappy posts for a blogaversary as grand as 5 whole years. 5 years! I’m older than internet dirt now! This also happens to be my 800th post2. I can’t say I’m proud of all 800 posts; in fact I’ve changed so much over these 5 years that I’m pretty mortified by many of my earlier posts and reviews.  Sadly, I’m marking off my 5 years with a quickly impending for-the-foreseeable-future-hiatus.  I’ve known for weeks now that my time here was limited, but I kept that to myself. I wanted to finish up the giveaways I planned and the first big fundraising push for Dildology. I wanted to help out with Dildology as much as I could, even though I feel like I didn’t do enough. Wait, what? I’m not sure if this is

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Mar 202013
 
So, Catalyst happened...

This is a viewpoint of Catalyst from a person with serious social anxiety issues which sometimes manifest into mild agoraphobia. Add on top of my social awkwardness a “neutral face” that makes me look forever pissed off + food allergy issues turning me into a manic panicked individual minus the cool hair color….and yeah. I got through this as best as I could, albeit I wasn’t at my best this year. It bothers me, it has made me feel like shit about myself, and compounded my self-doubts. I tried. I failed a lot. I fucked up. Hopefully next time is better? I’ve been trying all week to put my finger on what went wrong for me at CatalystCon this weekend. I’m not saying it was bad. It just wasn’t exceedingly awesome for me, as awesome as Momentum had been the two years prior. I think it was me. I mean sure, there were issues, we

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Mar 022013
 

I wouldn’t quite say that I have Obsessive-Compulsive Planning Disorder but it’s close. I got it from my mother, who also passed on her compulsive over-packing syndrome. Toss in a case of Chronic List Making, and you would think that I have a complete inability to be spontaneous. That’s not exactly true; if I know that *something* is going to be happening, then yes I need to have an exact plan for it. If you text me and say “OMG let’s go to ____ right now!!” if it’s within my doing, I shall be doing. Let’s take last year’s MomentumCon. I took the train down, then had to catch a subway, then locate the hotel. But I’d never been to the train station here, and of course I was worried about locating the subway and navigating it. So I did research. I drove to the train station two days before my trip as a dry

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Nov 272012
 
Not in Kansas anymore...

Oh, life. What a fuckin pain in the ass it can be. And confusing. It shows that I’m not keeping good tabs on my site when it takes a potential advertiser to point out that I’m no longer page-ranked. I thought it was a glitch that my PR is 0. But no…I checked my Webmaster account and Google basically is telling me that they found suspicious links that look like I’m “selling pagerank” or something. From what I gather, the only way to fix this is add rel=”nofollow”. Until I “fix” things, Google won’t give me my page rank back. I don’t know how to feel about this. This is just another way for them to crack down on links. Many advertisers are gone, slowly falling away. One asked to be removed and replaced as a post sponsor, for sidebar links were counting against them. *sigh* Buy more sex toys, please, to keep my coffee

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Sep 102012
 

Inspired by Stoya’s story over at Jezebel, I’m speaking up along with all the other women. This paragraph, after talking about how men treat her on the street, “They say I have a sweet ass, nice tits, a real pretty dress. They say I’m their future wife, or I’d look good with their dick in my mouth.” really spoke to me. Before you try to tell me that it’s because I take my clothes off for a living, let me tell you that this started way before I was 18. Let me tell you that every single woman I know has at least one truly terrifying story of street harassment and a whole bunch of other stories that are merely insulting or annoying. Let me remind you that in a room of pornography fans, who have actually seen me with a dick in my mouth and who can buy a replica of my vagina in

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