Jun 162011
 

No words
My tears won’t make any room for ‘em, oh
And it don’t hurt
Like anything I’ve ever felt before

 

This is no broken heart
No familiar scars
This territory goes uncharted

 

Just me
In a room sunk down in a house in a town
And I don’t breathe
Though I never meant to let it get away from me

 

Now I have too much to hold
Everybody has to get their hands on gold
And I want uncharted

 

Stuck under the ceiling
I made, I can’t help the feeling I’m going down
Follow if you want, I won’t just hang around
Like you’ll show me where to go

 

I’m already out
Of foolproof ideas so don’t ask me how
To get started
It’s all uncharted

 

………

………

 

Jump start my kaleidoscope heart
I love to watch the colors fade
They may not make sense
But they sure as hell made me

 

I won’t go as a passenger, no
Waiting for the road to be laid
Though I may be going down
I’ll take in flame over burning out

 

Compare
Where you are to where you wanna be
And you’ll get nowhere

 

~ Uncharted, Sara Bareilles

Every blog anniversary has had a big emotional post and a sex toy giveaway. This year, you get song lyrics and a dying blog. I’d had a grand idea to get a number of companies to let me give away Pure Wands, multiple Pure Wands and nothing but Pure Wands, but I didn’t get as many as I wanted and after we moved I just…..lost my touch. Something needs to be jump started but I’m all out of fool proof ideas. I was supposed to be happier. I was supposed to be in my element. Blogging was supposed to get better and easier to manage all my projects and I was supposed to be able to finally start some projects I’ve had in my head.

But my house is still a mess, and unpacking is so fucking hard for a person with a brain like mine, and I’m missing social interaction and I’m lonely some days. I lose track of the days of the week and forget about WantonWednesday sometimes. Or lack the motivation to do an edition of e[lust].  Or write a blog post.

So the question is: Am I burning out? Can I jump start things? Or should I go down in flames?

No words
My tears won’t make any room for ‘em, oh

  • http://www.mollysdailykiss.com Molly

    Oh Lilly… I am sorry to hear you are having a tough time. Moving is stressful enough without the added complications of work changes and moving to a new area. Maybe you need to just let yourself off for a bit, get settled into your new life and find your place there and then your place here will come back to you again.

    I don’t know the answers but I do know that rushing into any decisions like this are always a mistake, give yourself real time to work through it all and consider all the various options you have in front of you.

    If I can help with anything then please let me know.

    Mollyxxx

  • http://www.mollysdailykiss.com Molly

    Opps….I forgot to say…. Happy Blog Anniversary xxx

  • Ms.Inconspicuous

    Take a break if you need a break.

    Having the pressure of a dying blog is a tough thing; the guilt is continually there–shouldn’t I be writing something!?

    When I stopped blogging, it was a huge relief. Eventually I started to get the urge again and I wrote entries without publishing them. I found it shifting from feeling like a duty to feeling like catharsis again.

    People’s memories are short, but they don’t go away. They’ll find you again if you start up again.

  • http://www.dustbunnyinthewind.com nitebyrd

    Cut yourself some slack, Lilly. You need to step back, take some time to get yourself sorted out after your move, etc.

    Once you have a better persepective on your life, you can decide what you want to do, or not do, regarding blogging. As Ms.I said, the people that care and want to read what you write, will be there.

  • http://100waystobeperverse.wordpress.com Janie

    I am feeling exactly the same. I have just moved up North to be with Patrick, and whilst that’s great I am bored out of my mind and I hate not seeing anyone else all day other than Patrick and our housemates.

    But I have faith that things will get better, and I have faith that they will be for you too. You are a super awesome blogger Lilly, and if you take a break people will want you back! Do what is best for you and everyone here will support you in whatever that is.

    Happy blogoversary! xoxoxox

  • http://thatgrrl.ca Laura

    I’ve been there Lily and am still wandering around trying to keep my head up and make it all work. Don’t give up. Regroup, decide what really needs to be done and start there. Pick the projects you really want to do – especially those which you really get something out of, those that give back to you. We need the projects which we love but we MUST have those which help to give back and recharge us. I love taking on new things, always fine new stuff I would like to do, help with or new ideas to start. I have to work hard to keep the new stuff under control.

    Why not take a week off from the projects and see which of them you really miss, which you want to get back to the most? Plus give yourself the week to move in and sort out your home base/ base of operations. You can’t work if things are too cluttered and too much chaos all around you. Give yourself that time to work on the reality in your own space, then get back to the digital/ virtual/ web stuff.

    Good luck and Happy Blogaversary! Don’t take the good things for granted.

  • http://duskinchains.com Dusk

    Hey Lilly,

    I think everyone who’s commented have left you some great things to think about, but definitely know we’re here for you and you should come back and write when you feel ready. Moving is stressful and unpacking always takes way longer than it should (for me at least). We’ll welcome you back with open arms when you decide you’re ready and in the mood, but definitely take your time. You should be enjoying it :)

  • http://candjwithatwist.blogspot.com Chloe

    Hey Doll,

    Virtual hugs to you….you know I get the “break” thing. I have stepped back more than a few times and come back when I felt better. Your sanity is the priority. Call if you need, you know how to reach me.

    XO