Dec 042009

Moving on. It’s not an easy thing to do. And encountering douchetards of the “I am Dom, bow before me, bitch” variety makes it more difficult.

Mz. Impy reminded me a few days ago why I left CollarMe. The other kink social site I belong to isn’t anywhere near as bad but there are the occasional dickheads there. I have a profile on these two forums – posting sexy things, pics, etc and on the one the messages are usually more respectful and complimenting and such.


I had only mentioned my BDSM past here and there in little bites in various threads, but it was always always “that’s my past and I’m not interested in going there anymore, I’m not looking for a Dom”. But they don’t listen, do they.

I think I held back quite a bit here, don’t you?

Subject: The First Thing…

Message: that I would insist on is that you wear a butt plug to loosen your as up for my thick cock. As your Master you would be expected to make yourself available when and where I said. You can expect to spend much time on your knees attending to my knees.

If your understand my rules you will receive the benefit of my training,


P.S. Just add in the subject line that you are a ‘Willing Sub”

My reply: I think the plug would do better up your ass, because then it might make you take your head out from your ass. Nowhere do I state that I would be receptive to this sort of disrespectful unsolicited email. Learn some goddamn manners.

He did indeed have the audacity to write back:

Suck my cock and don’t dribble, that would be your demostration of manners you cock sucker.

I did not change a thing about his messages.

Let me repeat that for you in case you didn’t catch my drift the first time:

I did not change a thing about his messages.


I mean, you know, should YOU think he’s all 67 kinds of sexy and that you’d be a good willing sub for him? Why, I encourage you to contact him. I just want you two lovebirds to be happy, I really an truly do! I just hope you are well-versed in attending to knees. I bet he was just having a rough day and was in need of some snuggle-wuggle time with his Willing Sub.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that the only willing sub I can give him is meatballs with provolone on a soggy hoagie bun.

  • hahaha, oh that is too funny :-)

  • Nurse Rat_chet

    LMAO! you can only laugh

    ~ laugh, after i call him a motherfucking asshat in 6 languages and then unleash the hounds of my readers on him ;)

  • VanillaKinks

    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

    This is exactly the shit I need to read at 2 am to keep me going through the night!

    ~ heh, you’re welcome. I have a feeling you’ll be a big fan of a new blog project I’m helping out with. Rant of the month club!

  • Gah, the nerve of some dipshits. *shakes head* I hate crap like that. Though, at least it gives you something to laugh about and makes for good blog fodder. =)

    I suspect he may get a few emails from various readers that aren’t what he’s hoping to see in his inbox, lol. ;)

  • I think I need someone to attend to my knees too. They’re getting kinda creaky with my advancing age ;-)

    ~ Yeah, me too. I’ve knee problems myself and can’t kneel. Oh darn I guess I’m out of the running as a proper sub!

  • Happy guy

    Don’t forget that as his sub, you would be expected to learn him some English.

    Oh…and you Pennsylvania people are so funny with your subs and hoagies. They’re heros, dammit!!

    ~ “hero” is the american bastardization of “gyro” and i refuse to acknowledge that as a term for a sub :P surely “sub” is universal, otherwise, Subway really picked a bad name, lol.

  • thepinkpoppet

    Tee-hee-hee…rolling told him and I am happy to hear it. Plug up his ass..that is good!Thanks for making me smile real big today.

  • :(

    I’m really sorry you were on the receiving end of that. I just started reading your blog (THANK YOU for helping my work day go by more quickly), and seeing this douche-nard’s email got me on the defensive for you.

    But you’re a strong and amazing woman, from what I’m gathering, and he’s a laughable moron – so, WIN for you.

    ~ *bows* Happy to have you aboard dear! Hey, at least he didn’t fire back with the expected “fat/ugly slut” namecalling!

  • wumpus1299

    Asshat is the best word to describe him…lol the only thing better is if you could of emailed a kick to his nuts(but he might of liked it). Funny and gracious under extreme idiotic treatment as always. I am so glad you showed up on my radar as a daily read. Thanks as always.

  • Bahahaha wonderful reply.I am curious about this new project ;)

  • Oh god this post is fabulous. And I have to say that I can’t stomach misogynistic asshats posing as Doms either.

  • Tracer Bullet

    I’m not much into have things forced in my “as,” but I’d certainly never do such a thing for someone with such a poor command of the language.

  • “serve my knees”

    Oh dear me. That’s tickled me this morning!

    LP x

  • nancy

    Too funny..the things some idiots write~
    My nerves.. thanks for the laughs