May 312009

Today is the last day of National Masturbation Month. I hope you made the month note-worthy! I sure did.

All in all it was a crappy weekend filled with familial obligations that involved a shit-ton of driving. My time was divided between being in a decidedly irritating environment to an, albeit equally irritating, quiet and contemplative environment (my god does this state have more than it’s fair share of idiotic asshole drivers). I tend to do a lot of thinking and daydreaming and such when I’m driving for long periods alone. When I was still doing jewelry design it was a time period when I would think up the most designs. Handy, right? I’m driving, my memory is crap and so I have to wait until I get home or can pull over to sketch out designs….frequently I’d forget half of the brilliant ideas.

To combat boredom today, in hours 9-12 of driving (hours 1-9 were done in between 7am and midnight yesterday) I decided to be a little naughty.


Well actually…..more than a little naughty.

I even have a couple really really short video clips I strung together, just to prove I am indeed driving and I am indeed driving with my tits hanging out. This is about as close to driving topless as I had the cohones to get to. Perhaps another time in the future, when I’m not alone in the car, I will. And the photos will turn out better since they’re not self-shot.

I’m just not sure about posting it. It doesn’t show my face, but it shows the interior of my car. Perhaps I am being too paranoid with my anonymity.

I’m also not sure about posting the audio clip.   (Edit: I was convinced to do so)

What audio clip, you ask?

One of the things that my mind spent a lot of time lingering on was a certain sweet, sexy curvy gal and the fact that she’s very very naughty at work and the fact that I want to fuck her. Viewing photos on her blog and a few short video clips that she took while at work caused me to masturbate in the most inopportune of times/places over the weekend. One of those times and places being driving at 70 mph down Route 76. A 4-lane divided busy toll highway.  For some reason inspiration struck as I was getting close to orgasm….I used this nice little feature on my phone called “voice notes”, that allows me to record something and then send it – to another phone or to email. So I emailed it to myself and someone special. I had pondered posting it, but I am just about decided against it. I also used the voice notes in a very vanilla way by recording some shit that I thought of to write about either here or the other blog or just shit in general I thought up to tell someone.

She’s not the only person my mind wandered to frequently – the other one knows who he is and honestly it’s nothing news-worthy, not like I don’t mention him enough ;)

And then when my second urging to wank while driving struck, and I found myself needing a little more….I finished off at a rest stop. A busy one. Some guy drove strangly close to my car – he came up the right side and instead of cutting straigh across the row he drove in FRONT of my car. Since he was in an SUV and I’m in my little compact….well I think he could see both hands shoved down the front of my unbuttoned pants. He looked right at me. Yeah, he knew. Old perv, lol. I looked very conspicuous sitting there….just sitting in my car when most were getting out, using the facilities or just stretching their legs or the dogs legs.


I definitely had fun. And I am sure there is more naughty exhibitionistic driving in my future.

May 302009

(and a mish-mash of other things)

Right now has a lot of kits. These kits allow you to get a major toy of a brand name you’ll recognize (others include Rock Chick, Fleshlight, etc) and a few other “extra” toys that are of the cheaper variety (and you cannot tell the brand of the extra items, for the most part). I had requested the Berman Center Selene Vibrating Clitoral Pump Sex Toy Kit (boy that’s a mouthful!) mainly because I was very interested in trying a clitoral pump and also it included a Mini-Mite massager – which I figured might be the same brand as my old beloved red pocket rocket – and a Silver Bullet which appeared to be very similar to my original much-loved-may-it-rest-in-peace Bullet.

Continue reading »

May 302009



The LELO Bo Cock Ring

Synopsis: Very well made; awesome addition to oral sex; it’s pricey but it’s an investment because this thing will LAST plus it carries Lelo’s standard warranty. It comes with its own little case and a charger. It can be a couple’s toy or a solo toy and is a benefit to both men and women.

I have to be honest, I’ve always hated cock rings, particularly the vibrating kind. The reason is that, until now, they’ve primarily been available in one main material: jelly. While jelly in a cock ring isn’t a huge concern with phthlates, my complaint with that material has been the way it behaves. It’s usually a flimsy material – easily tangled up within itself, collects dust like you wouldn’t believe, can be hard to clean off fluids especially once they’ve dried on and removing the bullet vibe from the ring is a pain in the ass if you’re changing the batteries or cleaning the ring. Another bad thing is that jelly isn’t really the strongest material, it can tear. We had one once and it didn’t really last long. Of course, it didn’t get used much either. This all is why, until now, I’ve never requested a cock ring to review. VibeReview was kind enough to send me one to try out!

Lelo’s stab at a cock ring, the Bo, takes all those former complaints and negates them. Continue reading »

Pleasurists #29

 Pleasurists  Comments Off on Pleasurists #29
May 292009

Pleasurists is your round-up of the adult product reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #28? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #30? Submit it here before Sunday May 25th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St.Syr

On to the reviews… Continue reading »

 Posted by at 11:12 pm
May 282009

I’m sitting at my desk right, I’m at work.

For some reason inspiration struck and my creative and perverted mind has been spinning the scenarios of upcoming parts to my latest erotica series……I’ve been trying to concentrate on work for the past 3 hours but sex keeps pushing it’s way in like a neon sign.

And so my cunt has been on a slow simmer until I started writing at 4pm, when a good portion of the office leaves for the day. Work for 5 minutes. Write for 5 minutes. Sit there in a seeming fugue while my mind is stuck on what it would feel like to have my fingers inside her right now and her nipple trapped between my teeth.

It’s now 4:20. 90% of the office is gone by 4:30, well more like 4:25 because these fuckers sneak out early. I am waiting impatiently and checking my little sideview mirror as I wait for the people in my row to leave.

It’s 4:28. All but two others now in my row are gone. This one guy, I can’t stand him, he has his afternoon snack at 4:30 and so he’s up and down from his seat about a million times. It’s hard to get anything naughty done when I have to keep alt-tabbing. Ok, he’s gone for a minute….and I’m getting my bullet vibe out. I pondered going to the restroom but the cleaning crew starts before we’re all gone, so it’s not possible.

Fuck it. I’m just going to unzip right here at my desk.

Bullet in. Bullet on. High. Immediately I feel the tightening in my chest of extreme arousal and the utter dire need to come. I’ll just get myself close and then finish off in the car.

4:40. I keep squirming and pressing my thighs together and finding a new short-lived spot that presses the bullet into my clit. Short-lived because I’m soaking wet and it’s slippery down there. I’m pretending to work and also alt-tabbing back to my “secret internet window” to write smut.

4:50 now. I wonder if I can sneak out early. Actually…..I wonder if I can just do it right here at my desk once that idiot leaves. I’m gonna try. I have to.

Christ. I am about 9.5 on the O-scale and it’s delicious fucking torture.

Jesus christ would he just LEAVE already????

4:58. Come ON dickhead just leave, for the love of pete I fucking need to come!

Ok, he’s gone. My work tote is up on my desk, blocking most of the view of where my left hand is. I have my jeans unzipped and my hand shoved down my panties, grinding that bullet against my clit. I am silently begging my body to just let go, release, go over the edge already.


I could just cry the need is so bad.

Oh fuck. Finally.


Damn that was a strong orgasm, and my batteries were half dead! When the orgasm finally kicked over the edge and the fluttering at my eyelids started, I tried like hell to keep my eyes open, but one lid betrayed and fluttered/winked a few times and then the wave crashed and I tried to be silent I tried to be inconspicuous but instead I bowed my head a little and jerked subtly and moaned at just above a whisper and my cunt contracted and spasmed so strong I nearly cried. Wow.

Bullet off…..back in my bag….zip up my pants (please don’t let anybody walk by right now)….my few minutes of recovery are good enough, I’m gone baby.

{Edit: I walked out of there with a smile on my face and feeling at peace. The girl I lust for happened to leave at the same time so I stopped and said a quick hello to someone else…..I just didn’t have the bravery for small talk in a small elevator when I know damn well I’m a little flushed and my fingers smell like pussy.}

{Edit 2: My need to pleasure a woman right now is at maximum. At this point I don’t fucking care if she doesn’t reciprocate, I’ll just hump my Hitachi while I fuck her senseless with my fingers and mouth. What the FUCK do I have to do to get myself a female, a naked horny hot female??? I suspect this question is asked daily by men around the world.}

May 252009

Over the next two weeks, I slowly divulged to Sarah more and more tidbits of my kinks and my personal exposure to them. Gauging her reaction via text was difficult but manageable. Her only exposure to “my world” was the occasional blindfold for a bit of  teasing sensual foreplay. About as vanilla as a blindfold can get.

The day came when I knew I could accelerate things – there were no subtle signs, no, she opened the door and it was loud and clear. I had just fulfilled a picture request for R. I told her about it and she teasingly asked if she could see it. It was just my tits so I texted it to her phone. I didn’t hear back from her right away, in fact 10 minutes went by.

And then….

Her response is a photo of her own tits. A mimic of the picture I sent to R. Taken just then, just for me. The accompanying text read:

Your pic made my head spin and my mouth water. I hope I have returned the favor, even if in a small way.

Oh hell. It had, perhaps, a greater effect than she imagined. I knew she’d look this good but I did not anticipate the immediate carnal reaction I would have. Creamy pale and lightly freckled skin, full C-cup size, pale pink and slightly puffy areola and a little darker pink nipple. Tiny pink peaks. My clit throbbed and I subconsciously touched a finger to my lips and then slipped the finger inside my mouth a bit; my need to lick and suck her was immediate and visceral. I actually sat there for a minute and pondered if there was a way, a place, somewhere somehow I could get her naked breast and my mouth to meet pronto. Sadly nothing came to mind except my need to sate my pent-up lust – my own hand would have to do. I quickly texted a response, a casual statement of her beauty, and then I made a beeline for my favorite jerk-off restroom. I smiled at her on my way past her desk. She texted back, asking where I was going, but I didn’t answer her. Not yet.

I propped my phone up in the stall, hoping it would not fall, so that I could stare at her hands-free. Leaving both hands free for masturbating to a relatively quick orgasm in 5 minutes.

As I walked back by her desk she looked at me quizzically. Again, a near-immediate text.

Where did you go? And why are your cheeks so flushed?

And so I told her, via email. I told her that I ran off to masturbate in the restroom and all because of one little pic from her. I told her all the dirty things I wanted to do to her, all the kinky things. Things I would do with my lips and tongue and teeth; with my fingers and the palm of my hand and my fist. I told her that I wanted to claim her, make her mine if only for brief glimpses. Have her under my control.

I am stunned, speechless, and in awe of your daring. Stunned and speechless that my photo caused that reaction. Clearly I am not as brave as you, because it didn’t even occur to me to attempt that even though my reaction to your own photo was equally amazing. And even if it had been mild, the reaction caused by your words has done it. I am incredibly horny, most certainly shockingly wet and would kill for a good O right now. Everything you said, everything you want from me and to do to me, yes yes PLEASE! Just be gentle and patient, Mistress ;)

and then:

Oh god, I’m sorry, I hope I wasn’t being too cheesy and naive there. “Mistress” just flew out from my fingers and I hit ‘send” before I fully realized it.

I thought for a minute, but only a minute. I had to test her. I replied in short order:

When it is warranted, Mistress will do just fine. So you’re horny, eh? Why wait? I want you to go down to the 8th floor restroom, the one that’s in the corner of the east hallway. It is not used very often, it’s where I go. Use the handicapped stall at the very end of the row. I want you to go do what I just did. I want you to come for me. That’s an order, Sarah. No reply, just go, NOW.

After one minute, I followed her. I snuck into the restroom as quietly as possible. Practically held my breath as I slowly crept towards that last stall. I stood where I knew she couldn’t see my feet, and I listened.

I grinned and silently swooned. I heard that unmistakable sound, the wet rubbing sound, of a girl getting off.

I planted my feet where I was and leaned forward with my upper body, until one eye was looking into the crack between the door and stall wall. She had her pants down, but had only pushed her panties to the side, so my view was partially obstructed, but it was still insanely sexy. I didn’t want to break her obvious concentration so I leaned back, backed up a few feet and just waited on her. I strained my ears listening to the barely-there sounds of her fingers rubbing her swollen clit, getting faster. Then the sound of what seemed like a long exhale, probably from her holding her breath. In that exhale I swear I could hear her whisper something but I don’t know what. Despite my own recent orgasm I was aching and dying to come again.

I waited a few moments and then cleared my throat.

“Sarah, open the door, now.”

She didn’t say anything but I heard the rustle of her rearranging her clothes and then the sound of the latch opening. I pushed it open impatiently and relished the look on her face for a brief moment. It was this delicious combination of startled and embarrassed and aroused and sated and orgasm-happy yet apprehensive. I bit my lip, smirked, and in one rapid move I shoved her against the bathroom wall. I gripped the neckline of her top and pulled both it and her bra cup down in tandem and quickly, ravenously, moved my lips to her exposed nipple.

I had been wanting to do that for what felt like forever.

The moment we returned to our desks, I sent off a quick email:

From now on when I order you to masturbate in the restroom like that, you are to do it with your legs spread wide apart and panties pooled at your ankles. None of that demure crap you just pulled…..