Aug 292010

But I won’t be going there this year for the NYC Sex Blogger Calendar Party.

I’m 95% certain on this.

I say 95% because there is still a tiny portion of me that is hemming and hawing and thinking of just drastically shortening my trip and only staying in the city on Friday night. But then….$250 for a room for even just one night seems extravagant and silly right now. 5% of me still thinks that I’ll be missing out and be missed but I say this is all seriousness – I really won’t be. No, that’s not said out of self-pity or anything like that. Just realism. When I’m in a large group setting like the party, I tend to retreat into my shell like a turtle. My social anxieties come out and the wall-to-wall people makes me irritable and skittish. I’m not the social butterfly some might think that Lilly is. I don’t dominate the conversations, I wait on the edges until it’s okay to enter in. I defer to others. I’m kind of a model for the calendar this year, but not one of the big-name people. I’ve come to accept these things and I’m ok with not going. I kept inside all of the hurt feelings I experience last calendar party weekend, I only talked about the good stuff because…that’s what I do. I keep it inside. I put on a smile.

Also the thought of dropping money and frantically hunting for an outfit I don’t hate is not at all appealing to me. Next year, my choices will be broader and I’ll be in a better place financially, mentally, health-wise, and more. I and we have too much on our plates, and more wise/necessary places to put the money I’ve saved up, for me to justify going.

Another deciding factor against going is that a great number of the people I was looking forward to seeing in NY I will be seeing in April at MomentumCon in DC. Not everyone, true, but most. Hubman and Veronica graciously offered me their tour of NYC and I’m sure I can take them up on that at any time, party or not.

I’m sure that, while there might not be another calendar, there will always be some sort of NYC-based blogger event to go to in the coming year. And I already have a standing date with my friend to go and see his version of NY, next year sometime. I’d always asked him for recommendations on places to go, and now I’ll have him with me in person.

Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn’t fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it’s comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away.

~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City (Season 4 finale)

Jul 312010

The time is beginning to approach once more……

The annual NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar party is happening on October 1.

And despite being in the calendar, a part of me is really waffling on whether or not to go. You see, I’m a bit of an oxymoron. I don’t do well in big groups, but I also don’t do well alone. The sheer madhouseness of the party gives me the twitches a bit, and given the stellar guestlist this year it will be an even bigger draw for attendance.

But my trips to NYC aren’t just about the party itself. It’s equally about spending time with blogger friends I don’t see much, as well as trying to get in a little sightseeing, a little NYC Experience. I’ve seen some great little things here and there over my 4 past trips but there’s still a LOT I want to see and experience.


I need a guide, a buddy. It makes me nervous to just go there with no mostly-firm plans to fill up my time. And I’m just not the type of person who likes to explore and sightsee by myself. I love sharing the moment and the “Wow look at that!” with another kindred spirit.

Places I’ve seen:

~Parts of Central Park, Chinatown, Little Italy, Astor Place, LES,  Financial District. Just parts, though.
~ Rockafeller Plaza and that area
~Washington Memorial Arch

Places on my list:

~A good italian dinner in the Bronx
~The Worlds Fair globe
~Coney Island
~Battery Park
~ The Cloisters
~ Buildings. Cool, old interesting architecture. Places with history, with a story.
~ Some sort of telescope view thingie that you can see into London? Is that still there?
~Museum of Sex (Thanks UrbanRogue for reminding me!)
~Pirate ship. Elizabeth of Sex in the Public Square shot her Calendar pics there last year and I read it was a restaurant or….something? Am I remembering incorrectly?

I guess my decision to go will be based on what plans I can make ahead of time, and who I can count on hanging out with. Any volunteer tour guides? As you can see I don’t need the “tourister” tour.

May 272010

I’ve been traveling a good bit lately. Washington State to see Coy Pink a month ago; NYC back in March; a couple of weekends doing computer work for a friend a few states away and dropping in on Debauched Diva. Of course, certainly not as much traveling as Mollena, who has become an expert on packing. I tried to follow the packing guide on the link she gave (here) thinking that surely if other women can pack for 7-10 days in a *carry-on* I should be able to as well.


I blame my mother.

No, seriously. Hear me out.

As a kid, our vacations were usually these epic cross-country trips. West, south, northeast, Canada, etc….all done in an RV. Now, granted, we were going to be gone for 2-3 weeks and all but still. She packed everything possible. We almost never had to track down a Kmart to buy a necessary item. Every scenario was accounted for.

I’ve inherited this gene. It also comes from my grandmother who was a bit of a packrat. Upon the death of my grandparents and the estate yard sale to clear out items no one wanted, it became clear the level of packrattiness. She wasn’t a hoarder, per se, more likely a hold-over from the Depression. We found unused items from the 70’s that were kept in case a last-minute gift was needed. I tend to be this way in some regards with my own stuff…it’s law that I won’t need it till I get rid of it. I’m getting better, though.

So when I pack for short trips I try to think of everything. Hot, cold, rain, dressy, casual, lots of walking, an extra outfit, etc. And yes, I’m a bit high-maintenance so my cosmetics take up some space too……face & eye brushes, shadow primer, foundation primer, concealer, foundation, light eyeshadow, dark eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, eyeliner sealer, lip balm, lip gloss, lip stain, blush, bronzer, moisturizer, eye makeup remover, fash wash. Hair spray, brush, dryer, curling iron, molding paste. Nail care kit. Shower stuff. Lotion. “just in case I start spotting” supplies. Razors. Powder. Any meds I might need “in case”, plus regular ones. Might as well continue……1 planned outfit, 1 spare outfit, something to sleep in, dressy shoes, a book, my netbook + charger, my phone + charger, my ipod, my camera + spare batteries and uh….well….in case I have a “need”, I do need a couple sex toys, yanno. That’s simple – Pure Wand and either the Wahl or a bullet. Simple, sure…..but heavy (remember, the Pure Wand is 1.5 lbs!).

That’s just for a short weekend overnight.

No, seriously.

Back for the last calendar party, when I was going to be in NYC from Thursday-Sunday, I did my best to trim down and use travel bottles. I still barely fit everything and my bag was heavy as fuck. Then, my travel bottles have started leaking, so I just bought new ones (GoToob, they look pretty awesome but since they’re silicone I’ll have to be sure not to put certain cosmetics). I look at that list above and I can’t truly see anything on it that’s not “necessary”. Ok, perhaps the sex toys. Meh, maybe not. With the new bottles, and a resolve to make myself a travel kit for my makeup (small amounts in tiny jars, they’re all loose powders anyways), I hope to find a way to trim down. Both on space and weight. And of course saving time from making lists, running around packing, and then procrastinating for weeks on fully UNpacking. I basically just need to buy duplicates of everything, that’ll solve the packing & unpacking hehehe

Mar 232010

So you’ve noticed that the blog has been pretty quiet, as I prepped for the trip and then was of course actually in the city. I’m not yet recovered from it… body isn’t happy with what I did to it, lol. Swollen feet and ankles (never had that happen before) and tired and achey everywhere else. Apparently fibromyalgia and lots of walking in short time periods don’t mix! Be sure to check out all the links, I’ve got some photos hidden in them!


I arrived at our hotel which was more upscale than I’m accustomed to. It was a much-needed suite (you can’t put 4 women in standard hotel room) complete with a mini-bar (yeah, never had one of those, either) filled with overpriced crap. I pretty much arrived, unpacked, got ready for a night out and then we left. Headed to Fontana’s for drinks and to eat dumplings purchased across the street. Yum! Then we headed over to HappyEndings, a converted brothel-to-bar for my first attendance at an In The Flesh reading. Mollena was my favorite of the night. The place was p-a-c-k-e-d way more tightly than I can tolerate but our crew got there early to set up and snagged the front corner tables and seats. So many people stood, it was ridiculous. Craziness ensued as we escorted a drunk cohort back to the hotel where we ordered delivery of the best cheesesteak sub I’ve ever had (ok so it was likely due to the fact that I was tired, starving and not sober).

At some point that evening in the hotel I tried on a pair of Princess Kali‘s heels. I’ve always known that my ankles (which have been weak since childhood) wouldn’t tolerate 6″ heels but holymotherofpearl it was ridiculous. I stood. I wobbled. I took a step and wobbled a lot more before my feet yelled “get ’em off!!!!” 2 minutes in. Femme Fail.


We stumbled to the free full-buffet breakfast in the hotel, all in our pj’s. After some inappropriate banana-sculpting (with her mouth) Tess and I went for a walk. We saw the shire and oooed and aahhed over it (it really is beautiful and amazing, read about it here), and continued down the waterfront along the Esplanade. I got some great pics and we made it to some little overlook thingie before I cried uncle and we headed back. I was sad that we didn’t quite make it to Battery Park, but my body couldn’t do anymore.

Lunch was a most awesome chicken burrito over at Blockheads; we ate with the corporates outside on the steps of 4 World Financial Building. As we waited for our food I stared down the eye candy… men in suits and button-down shirts; hot trendy-but-corporate young women in fabulous heels.

The evening was spent with Madison Young at a spectacular event hosted by my good friends of Tied Up Events. To get us and all our party stuff there we had to take a car service which just happened to be a stretch limo. My first time ever in a limo! At one point a bunch of tourists took pics of the limo and it was hysterical….moreso when Princess Kali started waving. Between her European looks and her tiara I bet they thought she was blue-blood royalty, lol. The wine-and-chocolate private party got raunchy when people had their photos taken with Madison Young……wherein they ate pieces of chocolate off her body and oh yeah….she wasn’t wearing panties. So fucking hot to watch it all. And yes, I stared like the perv I am. The public party was great too where I met a few new awesome NYC people and chatted up ones I’ve met before at previous events. Due to all the walking I did already in the day, I gave up on wearing “cute and proper” dress shoes in favor of my new Crocs which those who saw, loved. That made me feel better!


All intentions of another after-breakfast walk went out the window when we returned to our room and sat down. Then we weren’t gettin up. I had a little snafu with losing my goddamn paypal debit card….but in the end I got cash and deactivated the card and all was mostly well thanks to the First National Bank of Diva. Eventually, Princess Kali and I took a cab to Astor Place and walked and shopped a bit. Got some half-decent NY pizza (ricotta dollops ON PIZZA? hells yes). Headed back to the hotel to prep for the Kink Academy Open House event, yet another successful Tied Up Events deal. Enjoyed kinky demonstrations and fulfilled my perverted duty of staring at this one KA instructor’s ass under her criminally short skirt anytime she bent over. Further discussed cooking and NY restaurants with a handsome and wise bald-headed fellow. Had dinner at PJ Clarke’s, which afore-mentioned guy recommended, and then I crashed.


All hopes of squeezing in more sightseeing went out the window. My body went on strike and apparently so did everyone else’s. In fact I don’t recall good chunks of Sunday.

Final Thoughts

I need to make a weekend trip there and set up dates with people who live there, to have them show me around. I’m not entirely into the touristy crap but I do have my destinations I want to see, like Battery Park and Coney Island (and yes I know they’re far away from each other) and the Cloisters. Mostly though I just want to see the city, the buildings and architecture and have some good food.

Things I’ll be doing in NYC in March

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Mar 032010

Cross-posted from Tied Up Events who are hosting this party!

Empowerment is something that adult film star and gallery owner, Madison Young, is passionate about. Her passion has led her to direct cutting edge films that push boundaries and buttons in an effort to give the viewer more than just “bang for the buck” but also to immerse them in an experience that leaves them thinking about boundaries, sexuality, gender and the intersections of pleasure and pain. But that isn’t the only way 29 year old Madison has chosen to spread her mission of empowerment. Founding Femina Potens, a non-profit art gallery and performance space, in 2003, Madison brings that message to the gallery’s San Francisco neighborhood, combining art, education, theater, kink and sexuality in a safe and welcoming space for the LGBTQIK community and their supporters to congregate and experience art in a way that often blurs the line between artist and audience.

Tied Up Events supports Madison Young and the vision she has created and nurtured. We’re delighted to announce that on Friday, March 19th, Madison will be in New York City and we’d like to ask you to join us for a special fundraiser for Femina Potens to be held at Fontana’s.

From 6PM to 7:30PM, there will be a private wine and chocolate party (donation $35 in advance through Eventbrite), limited to 30 guests who will get to enjoy some one on one time with our guest of honor. Outstanding erotic photographer JM Darling will be there to photograph guests with Madison.

At 7:30PM the general public is invited to join us at no cost for the second half of our evening. Madison will be doing a special, interactive performance. Sexy, sultry N, ecdysiast and co-producer of Hypergender Burlesque, has generously agreed to perform for us. And, of course, there will be a raffle with fabulous prizes graciously donated by sponsors such as Stockroom and Kink Academy. So be sure to bring your cash; maybe you’ll even be one of the lucky guests to purchase your tickets from Madison. Spend $25 or more on raffle tickets and if you’re among the first 50 people to do so, you’ll receive a signature Tied Up Events gift bag.

So come on out, belly up to the bar, order a gratis Original Sin Cider as long as the supply lasts, and heat up this cold and snowy NYC winter while supporting the arts and enjoying art, burlesque, a beautiful and brilliant adult film star, prizes and gift bags. Attend This Event

Yep, I’ll be there for the whole thing! I might be a little starstruck though….Madison is HAWT. I’m also going to attend my first In The Flesh reading the night before. Finally will get to meet Mollena!!

 Posted by at 11:17 am  Tagged with:
Nov 102009

As I predicted, my body didn’t appreciate the weekend antics. I’m still recovering from it physically and mentally. But also I’m feverishly trying to find the theme I want for the self-hosted e[lust] site. I basically want exactly what I’m currently using for the blog, but with the ability to more easily customize some aspects. Oh just download the theme from the developer directly, you say? Yeah, tried that. It’s not quite the same and almost less customizable unless I want to tweak the stylesheet and I just don’t have the patience.

I really don’t have as many sightseeing photos as I did last year because extenuating circumstances prevented me from seeing and doing a lot of what I planned on. And in fact….I don’t think I even have a photo of me all dressed up for the party. Not like I don’t still have the outfit, I do, but a posed after-thought photo just isn’t quite the same. I’ve got a lot to write about; people I met and things we did. In time though, soon, I promise.

So I’ll leave you with a couple of the better photos from the weekend.