The “Not My Bed” Aphrodisiac
With thoughts of writing this post, I queried my Twitter followers the other day. “When you and your SO find yourself sleeping in a bed that’s not your own, do you fuck? Is the sex different? If you DO have sex in other peoples beds…was it bc you felt compelled to do so bc its “naughty”?”
I had a number of responses that were favorable to having sex in a bed not their own, answers ranging from the “thrill of trying to be quiet” to the “thrill of maybe somebody hearing”. My answer to that question isn’t so cut and dried. I suppose if anything its the “thrill of behaving like teenagers / trying to be quiet” because I sure as shit wouldn’t want my mother knowing!!
To be perfectly honest, the occurrence of sex in the Lilly household has dwindled this year. The reasons mostly being his health or my health. Or my health decreasing my sex drive. So the number of times we’ve had sex in a bed that’s not our own seems relatively high in ratio just because we’re no longer fucking like bunnies as a norm. Primarily the two “not our own” beds are when we visit my mom, and when we stay at his family’s vacation home in Maryland (by ourselves). In Maryland, there’s no need to be quiet. Given the layout of the condos, I kinda doubt anybody would hear me unless we purposely did it during the day with the windows all open so the old fogies on the golf course could hear. Perhaps it’s just something relaxing and different? Or perhaps it is “vacation mentality” where we feel sex is sort of required?
The thing that made me think about all of this is that two fairly big sexual hurdles for me have occurred when staying at my moms.
That sentence kinda disturbs me.
Because it’s not just staying at her place. She’s there, in the guest room, because her bed is the only queen sized bed. Now, granted, I used to have sex on her bed long ago back home but that feels different somehow. Mostly because she was never around, lol.
Months ago I wrote about how I had my second-ever orgasm from oral sex – it happened at my mothers. Well last weekend, something else interesting happened. I don’t come very often with just my fingers…..mostly I get tired or impatient and switch to a vibe – or the situation wasn’t good (like at work). It’s even more rare for it to happen with a partner. Hubs was expertly playing with my g-spot and I was going at my clit with the hope and fervor of a mad woman. I NEEEDED to come. And thanks to hubs, I did. It was super late, we were both battling pains and insomnia and even if I wanted to give up and use a vibe, I couldn’t, since I didn’t bring one.
It just seems odd to me, a little, that the “holy shit I/we did it!!!1!” moments happen not in our bed.
So, weigh in. Do you think being in a different bed is an aphrodisiac of sorts? Have you accomplished any major sexual achievements or firsts in these unfamiliar locations?
I don’t know that the bed-that-wasn’t-ours was an aphrodisiac or not but we sure had a lot of sex on this last vacation! There’s even photographic proof up on the blog now. ;-)
We’ve had to be creative about where we’ve had sex for so long (because we co-sleep with our kids) that perhaps the novelty of having sex in different places has just worn off. Of course now we have a special room and bed dedicated *just* for sex. So every time we do it there, it’s kind of like having “hotel sex.” :-)
Whenever the man and I sleep somewhere new we always feel the need to “break in” the place. Lol
In most cases – hotel rooms not included – it’s the “we really shouldn’t do this, but we’re gonna” factor. It’s the excitement, the “naughty” factor, and the change of scenery doesn’t hurt in the least.
The first time my boyfriend and I stayed at his parents’ house I didn’t expect to get any action because it was so…I dunno, parenty. We were in this little guest room full of all the stuff they kept out of the way, perfectly made up bed with a box of tissues and a clock radio on the side, all that detail, being very polite and respectable. But then when we came back from the pub and they were asleep, it was like BOOYA! Boyfriend well and truly pounced on me and we had vigorous, hair-pulling, grabby, bouncy sex for what felt like hours. It was absolutely brilliant.
I do think that variation of location has aphrodisiacal qualities, especially in a long term relationship.
Yes we love to change it up with different beds. When we go back home to our parents it’s that ‘naughty’ feel you spoke about. I revert back to 10th grade when I would sneak my boyfriend in and shhhhhhhh keep it quiet.