Sex Toy Reviewer Meets the Real World
A few weeks ago I spent some time with a childhood friend that I hadn’t seen in years. She was the first person from the “real world” that I’ve known for years that I told about my blog and my sex toy reviewing. I didn’t give her the address to the site, though. But I was able to talk to her all about sex toys. It’s nice! When I went to visit though a few weeks ago she told me that her sister-in-law was selling sex toys and I was curious. As luck would have it, SIL popped by for a visit while I was also there. It turns out that she’s just doing it as a side business, simply setting up an online store using a distributor and thankfully not doing those awful parties. My friend told her SIL what I do; questions were asked and I felt awesome to be able to answer them and give advice.
Until….SIL’s boyfriend asked for my business card, or my site address, as they were very interested to read what I do – my reviews, etc. They were impressed by what I make a month in affiliate sales and how I do it. Suddenly I had to clam up. No business card, nope, sorry. Oh, my site address? Um…*looks around* *changes subject*
No way was I giving out my site address to her SIL + BF….no way did I want them seeing my personal posts or my tits. I didn’t even want to give the site address to my friend – not that she would be squicked out seeing my naked tits much, but there are old posts that I don’t know if she’d really want to read. Who knows.
I guess my point is…I’m starting to second guess this site and where I’ve taken it. It’s half blog, half educational/review. Part is personal, part is professional. Only recently is it biting me in the ass, but it’s too fuckin late NOW isn’t it. I can’t suddenly start up a sex-toy-review-only blog. I don’t know if I want to copy my reviews to a second site, rather than moving them, as simply a place to send the people who I don’t want seeing me naked. But if I send anyone professional there, they will see piss poor rankings and numbers. So do I overhaul this site? Get rid of my risque photos? My erotic fiction and erotic non-fiction?
Name That Toy
One thing I did love was talking to my friend and her boyfriend about the sex toys and lube they have, and giving them advice. They started to describe one very expensive toy they’d seen during their last trip to a store (which was months ago) and I immediately pulled up a site on my tablet and showed them the Tiani 2, sure that that was it. Nope, not quite. Ok….We-Vibe? Nope. That’s not it either, but it looks just like it, except that what they saw they say was mostly white with color accents. There were three of them, each increasing in price, each doing something “more” than the previous.
WHAT IS THIS? Because we never did find it. Apparently it was so new when they visited the store, that the salesperson didn’t know anything about it, they’d only received it the day before. There just aren’t very many small, C-shaped dual sex toys like the Tiani and We-Vibe, so what could it be??
No clue on the toy, sorry. Posts like this though, and Epiphora’s epic saga of coming out to her family, makes me really appreciate what I have with my open-ness and brashness. I don’t hide from anyone what I do, where I work, or who I am. Yes, I use a pen-name online but not for anonymity. There’s actually a long and geeky story behind my moniker. Mostly I use it because I like it, at this point. In the end, it’s all up to you. I find it fascinating the number of bloggers who are totally down with strangers reading and seeing these things, but people we know and love? Different story. I wonder why this is. People fascinate me.
It is funny that you posted this! I have had some similar thoughts. For different reasons though. I am going through a lawsuit and someone finding my blog might be quite damaging even though the case has nothing to do with “me”.
I have also wondered what a potential employer would think, if it ever came up??? For now, I just don’t know how to proceed or even if I should make any changes. I hate that my hobby has such repercussions.
I have no idea what that toy could be.
@ Elspeth: because those are the people about who’s opinion we most care, and who we deal with on an (almost) daily basis. We want that to stay the way it is. Strangers can not affect your life in unexpected or negative ways, only positive, because there’s the safety, distance and anonimity of it.
I know the dillemma, and I ultimately decided to keep the private and non-private split. But that’s not with something I’m way into, or have invested time/money/effort in.
Part of it is just being assertive enough to draw a line in what you say, not divulge too much. I had huge trouble, for example, answering people who asked me what I did. I didn’t feel comfortable telling them that I’m on benefits and work in a sheltered workplace. On the other hand I CANNOT lie, it’s like downing dishwasher detergent.
So what do I do? Just consider how much you really need to tell them, ultimately. So I will just say what I DO: assembly, sorting, and management in a second-hand shop. Once I found out that it’s sufficient to say that, I stuck with it. Works like a charm.
Here on the intertubes I can just say all that, because I type down an ‘alias’ instead of my real name.