Jun 302011

I have a great deal with you. Why not earn generous recurring commission with your blog? I believe you will make a great affiliate partner when you promote sex toys and “safe for work” products. You can help us promote our websites and we can help you make some money! :-) I’m exclusively inviting you 1 to join our affiliate program. By becoming our affiliate partner, you will enjoy these amazing benefits….

Are you looking for a well converting website which really can help you in making good money? If so, the HeartlessScammer.com affiliate program is an opportunity you are looking for 2.

There’s two times when, as a blogger, you’ll be offered a spot in someone’s affiliate program: If you are a reviewer of their products, or, if they’re just trying to get free advertising from you.

I’m betting a number of you are going to think that the second reason sounds pretty harsh, right? I’ll share my opinion on this and ask other experienced review bloggers to chime in with comments.

Yes, I do belong to a few affiliate programs but only for places that I review for (or once reviewed for). The only one that makes me any amount of money worth mentioning is from EdenFantasys, and that’s primarily because I review the most often for them (plus, personal feelings from anyone aside, you have to admit that they walk the line between overstocking worthless crap like Sextoy . com and not carrying many options like VibeReview . com, all while offering pretty decent prices. Options + prices + lack of total sleaze = most like to be bought from).  By actively reviewing for a company I am an affiliate of, I’m putting my affiliate links “out there” in numerous posts. I might make the occasional (VERY occasional) sale with places I reviewed for years ago but kept my affiliate account (VibeReview, Babeland) but it’s rare.

I once belonged to an affiliate program that I was NOT a reviewer for and I only did it because I already genuinely liked the site – Kink.com. I had a rotating banner widget to show their various sites to appeal to various readers, I occasionally wrote about them (ok, twice) but never once did I make an affiliate sale.

So try to imagine the star-aligning moment that would have to occur for you to make any sales on an affiliate program that merely resides as a banner in your sidebar. A reader would have to notice it, and then click on it, and then purchase something from the click from your site. I touched on this topic briefly when I wrote up the Basics of Paid Advertising on the Sex Blogger Education section of e[lust], but given the deluge of affiliate program offers that I (and undoubtedly many other bloggers like me) have received in the last month I just had to write more about this.

Bottom Line:

Their numbers might sound dazzling. 10-20% of every sale? A percentage of those affiliates who sign up under me?? Free to join??? (wait, this smells a little like an MLM scheme, or is that just me?) But trust me on this: They’re going to get a lot more from this largely-one-sided relationship than you are just in free advertising alone. They want their name out there in Google land, that’s what it boils down to, and they don’t want to pay for it.

You’re worth more than a one-sided relationship that just uses your good heart and lies to you, aren’t you?

Added 7-11-11: A special caution regarding International companies:

I’m prompted to add this because of an email I received today from a retailer and a follow-up question from another blogger who received a email from the same retailer.  I strongly caution against joining an affiliate program when they are based in another country than you, unless you know that most of your readers are from that other country. If you’re a US-based blogger, most of your traffic is also probably US visitors.  If I look at my primary stat counter site, it tells me that 52% of my visitors are from the US, 24% are “unknown”, and only 5% are from the UK. My secondary stat site (which doesn’t log as many visitors as the first, 5000 vs 500, respectively) says that 60% of my visitors are from the US and 16% are from the UK. The second site tends to do a little better capturing IP-location data than the first.

So unless you are actively reviewing for a company that is not in your own country, odds are that you won’t ever make much by just being in their affiliate program. And even if you did review for them, you’d have to be really good at SEO tactics to get in UK dwellers to read your review and purchase from your affiliate links.

So yet again…..it’s free advertising for them.

  1. Exclusively? Ooooo let me be flattered until I remember that you’ve also invited 25 other bloggers
  2. Seriously? I could write a better pitch than this shit, and so could a used car salesman

e[lust] #27

 Uncategorized  Comments Off on e[lust] #27
Jun 272011

Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #28? Start with the rules and subscribe to the RSS feed and Twitter for updates and submission reminders.

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Ruby LOVES her body, so should YOUWhat ever size you are, love yourself, be nice to yourself and concentrate on health instead of looks.

Performances So, of course, I don’t have any sensation in my cock, but holy baby Jeebus, sinking into her is so fucking hot that I groan right along with her.

10 reasons why I shouldn’t have had sex, but did anywayI’ve written extensively about happy-sex; so now here are some of the more unpleasant reasons why I’ve had sex.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Energy OrgasmsThere is a moment, an incredible moment, when it feels like the universe is concentrated in my body.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Dangerous Lilly

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable ~after this point~. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A response to: #Slutwalk will not show our daughters how to get respect
Accidents Happen
All the Time in the World
Dear Jane: How Do I Gain Sensitivity Back After Masturbating Too Much?
Friday Flix: 10 Things We Would Like to Say
Hole. Confession #573
Look at me (please)
Lusting After Sexually Confident Women and HNT
Oh Really?
Sex Toy Collecting
Why Can’t I Orgasm?

Kink & Fetish

5 Kinky Toys from the Restaurant Supply Store
A Piece of Meat
An invite for naked flesh graffiti (photo story)
Being a Domme, Alone
Daddy’s Good Girl
Emotional Masochism
Fucktoy Friday: Urethra Play
Good Morning
Inexorable Love
More Adventures in Chastity
New figure nudes

Erotic Writing

Continentally Close
First Memory of Sex with Nicole
Far From the Madding Crowd
First kiss
green candle wax
Happy Birthday Baby Girl
Lusty Lips
My first swinging experience
Seducing my Professor
sexy bitch/sexy beast
Strapping On For the First Time
seminar slut
To seduce you
The Minotaur
Twisted Words
The Heist

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Gender Celebration Blog Carnival – A Call for Submissions
Marilyn Monroe: A Sex Goddess Searches For Her Elusive Orgasm

 Posted by at 9:01 am

elust #26

 Uncategorized  Comments Off on elust #26
Jun 182011


Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #27? Start with the rules and subscribe to the RSS feed and Twitter for updates and submission reminders.

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

BikeryThe mental image of Suzy mounting this thing and pedaling herself towards a quaking orgasm flashed across my mind’s eye and I grinned into her face.

If you are monogamous can you learn to be polyamorous?Do you think that someone who is monogamous can learn to be polyamorous for a partner, or do you think they are courting disaster?

Hot WaxI detached myself from what she was doing to me. *breathe* She pulled again. I came from the pain, motionless, silent, and helpless to stop it. She continued.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Spring My eyes wide, there was no time for reaction as another crowd was wandering down the path. Our eyes locked and Daniel smirked, attempting to find something innocuous to say.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

What is Sex Positive? Just because I create & run something, doesn’t mean I’m a dictator. e[lust] is as much yours as it is mine, and I value the opinions of everyone.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable ~after this point~. Thank you, and enjoy!.

Continue reading »

 Posted by at 7:07 am
Jun 182011

He messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around, I won’t let you down

I don’t really keep up with popular music very well unless they’re an artist I already know and love. So I had no idea that Adam Lambert had had a big hit single with this song when I heard it for the first time on Pink’s big Greatest Hits album. Her original version uses “he messed me up”, Adam’s version is identical in every way except for changing it to “it messed me up”. Sure, the song could really go either way but as someone who listened to and liked Pink’s version first…..”it” feels a little off, a little like copping out. Ah well.

There is one person out there who (I think) still reads my blog and I really wish they’d fuck off and forget about this stupid little space of the web. Let me be able to write what I want to, what I need to. But friendship trumps, so I have to keep trucking along and holding things back. Perhaps that’s been a big factor in my writing block here.

I’m the first to admit that a lack of sleep for even just one night (coupled with some other emotional crap prior to it) will turn my emotions into a something akin to a downed electrical wire in a puddle of water, sparking away and dangerous. Today I broke down in tears so many times over so many things, one of which is stupid fucking Father’s Day being shoved down my throat and me missing my dad so damn much. It seems that with this move and big change I’m missing him even more, even though it’s been a long time since he’s been gone. So a very raw and tired me went out to get the mail today, and I saw that I received a check I’d been expecting. Oye, I need to just rant this out and shake it off.

When we first moved into our old apartment, the apartment complex sent over our info to the county tax office so that we would be included in the big ass same-price-for-everybody school tax crap. We didn’t find out about these taxes until we were very delinquent and the tax collector came to our door. Now, how HE found us is beyond me as they had the incorrect apartment number, and they misspelled BOTH of our last names. Over our time period living in that county both of us tried in vain to call these damn people and get them to change the incorrect info. It’s fuckin hard to look up an account when you call them and they ask for your last name. “Well my last name is XXXX but you have it misspelled into some convoluted crap so I don’t know what to fuckin tell you on how to find me”. They were infamous for never, ever sending us bills or warnings that we were behind and so surprise! My wages would get garnished. Nearing the end of my employment before the move, I knew that my wages were still being garnished. I also knew that any “outstanding debt” (like garnishments or overdrawn leave) would delay my final check. So I called the tax office and said “Look, here’s what’s going on, I want to stop the garnishments” (btw every time I talk to someone there, well it’s probably the same person, she is always a complete bitch, rude as shit, interrupts and makes you furious) and she said the only way was to pay off the debt to them. Ok, tell me what the accurate debt is, I’ll cut a check this minute. What the bitch failed to tell me is that 1. they don’t open up checks that come in the mail for at least a week 2. they’re incompetent and STILL haven’t changed my name so that when they faxed over the stop form to my employer it had not only my maiden name but my incorrect maiden name, and so at first HR didn’t know wtf to do about it and the garnishment didn’t stop. 3. That an overpayment was going to end up being a huge pain in the ass and I was better off just letting it all play out by garnishment. When I knew that they had been paid off by me and were still getting money from my employer, I demanded my refund. Said they wouldn’t do it until the payment cleared to them. Then I call back, wondering where it is and THEN I’m told that (reasons never given) they wait a mandatory month til they send out the check AND THEN they charge me a fee of $5 for the check. Bastards. I finally got that check today…and see it is made out to my maiden name with the last third of my last name being totally wrong. They never fuckin fixed it. I was on the phone with them 3 times before the move to make CERTAIN they had our new address and my new name and everything. I called the bank and found out it’s going to be a huge pain and that the issuing bank might not even pay it out since it’s basically a fictitious name. I called up the local tax place today and just LOST MY SHIT on them. I mean the rage just poured forth, especially when I found out that now I have to wait even more – they won’t reissue a check in my real name until I send them back this one. They have continually fucked up and yet I get fucked over again and again. They only ever list a PO box, and when asked by phone if they had an office I could come to to hand over a check (months ago) they said they had no public office. Well, they have an office SOMEWHERE, they just don’t want to clearly deal with all the pissed off pissed on people like me, and rightfully so. I’d cheerfully wring that bitch’s neck for all this shit. Today I found out the actual street address.

Yes, I’ll admit to Googling “how to successfully mail a bomb” and it didn’t give me any answer on how I can rain down justice on these twats, but it did lead me to an article about how some vibrator buzzing away in a package in Russia scared them so bad they called the bomb squad.

This is why all rechargeables need to have a “lock” function and ToySwappers: Always remove the batteries before you ship your toys!!! LOL

It’s nearly 1am. Thursday night I went to Tied Up Event’s Chat Lounge in NYC, hung out with some friends, but mostly spent entirely too much time in the car because of freakishly bad traffic and closed highways and construction and motherfucking HELL it took us 2 hours just to get out of Manhattan at 10:30pm on a goddamn Thursday! Clearly NYC can never be evacuated, sorry for you city folks when the apocalypse hits :P  So yeah instead of getting home at a decent hour, I got home at 2am. I got up at 630 with hubs and drove him to work somehow. I was exhausted and in pain all day and the only time I could nap was an hour before I had to pick him up. The fury over the tax refund bullshit got me too wound up at lunchtime to properly nap. So yeah. REALLY hard day, lots of crying (which always exhausts me) and so not enough sleep yet here I am. I’m still up. I won’t say I’m wide awake but I know I won’t sleep if I would go lay down.

Maybe I’ll just watch more True Blood on HBO Go. yay for another night of fucked up dreams because I watch that show too close to bedtime.

The kitchen is a mess and it makes me feel guilty. Yet I still don’t clean it up. I didn’t do SHIT today.



 Posted by at 1:10 am
Jun 162011

No words
My tears won’t make any room for ’em, oh
And it don’t hurt
Like anything I’ve ever felt before


This is no broken heart
No familiar scars
This territory goes uncharted


Just me
In a room sunk down in a house in a town
And I don’t breathe
Though I never meant to let it get away from me


Now I have too much to hold
Everybody has to get their hands on gold
And I want uncharted


Stuck under the ceiling
I made, I can’t help the feeling I’m going down
Follow if you want, I won’t just hang around
Like you’ll show me where to go


I’m already out
Of foolproof ideas so don’t ask me how
To get started
It’s all uncharted





Jump start my kaleidoscope heart
I love to watch the colors fade
They may not make sense
But they sure as hell made me


I won’t go as a passenger, no
Waiting for the road to be laid
Though I may be going down
I’ll take in flame over burning out


Where you are to where you wanna be
And you’ll get nowhere


~ Uncharted, Sara Bareilles

Every blog anniversary has had a big emotional post and a sex toy giveaway. This year, you get song lyrics and a dying blog. I’d had a grand idea to get a number of companies to let me give away Pure Wands, multiple Pure Wands and nothing but Pure Wands, but I didn’t get as many as I wanted and after we moved I just…..lost my touch. Something needs to be jump started but I’m all out of fool proof ideas. I was supposed to be happier. I was supposed to be in my element. Blogging was supposed to get better and easier to manage all my projects and I was supposed to be able to finally start some projects I’ve had in my head.

But my house is still a mess, and unpacking is so fucking hard for a person with a brain like mine, and I’m missing social interaction and I’m lonely some days. I lose track of the days of the week and forget about WantonWednesday sometimes. Or lack the motivation to do an edition of e[lust].  Or write a blog post.

So the question is: Am I burning out? Can I jump start things? Or should I go down in flames?

No words
My tears won’t make any room for ’em, oh

My Attendance Is Bad But My Intentions Are Good

 Blogging, Navel-Gazing, personal information, real life  Comments Off on My Attendance Is Bad But My Intentions Are Good
Jun 052011

We’ve officially been in our new house for a month, today. There’s still a good number of boxes that need to be opened, much less things put away. I’m having a hard time with the cleaning and the putting things away – even in our apartment it was hard to keep tidy because, even though most things had a place, there was not enough place for the things. Here….there’s places for things, if I could just figure out where to put things. For example, one doesn’t really understand the importance of a “hall closet” until one doesn’t have a hall closet. When I was growing up, all houses I spent time in had the ubiquitous hall closet. Part linen closet, part miniature first aid triage tent. A small medicine cabinet above the sink just doesn’t cut it.

We’re still in a bit of a limbo, I think, as we wait on a check from my previous employer that will buy us replacement living room furniture. The current stuff is something I was embarrassed to have the in-laws sit on, much less other guests and it’s even grown too uncomfortable for us to tolerate. The furniture has given all it could and now needs to put to rest.

Despite the fact that this house feels like home a hell of a lot quicker than our first apartment did (6-8 months vs 3 weeks), I’m having trouble getting settled. I guess it’s because the ADD-brain of mine can’t relax in this mess but it can’t solve the puzzle, either. I have a number of sex toy reviews to write up but I haven’t even found a home for my toys – most of them are still shuttered away in the upstairs spare room, in bags (as seen below). I have a big series of reviews coming up on the newer range of massager-style vibrators – All in all I have 6 of them that need to be dissected, compared and contrasted to the original line-up of both plug-in style vibrators and rechargeable massagers. It’s a big task full of photos, video clips and spreadsheets. I r srs reviewer. Srsly.

Yes, all these bags are stuffed with sex toys/accessories. Even the box!

So, yeah. I really though I’d be able to blog a lot more with this total about-face way of living but I’ve been finding it even more difficult. When I came to the end of my working days, the end of the last dregs of my life and style of living that had prompted the blog to begin with, I didn’t realize how far removed I would soon become from the person I was nearly 3 years. I do have a blog anniversary coming up this month but for once I’m tempted to let it pass by in silence. I think I need to re-evaluate blogging.

 Posted by at 5:48 pm