Ask Lilly: Introducing a Couple to Sex Toys

I’d say about once a week I am asked by my readers to recommend sex toys. Men, women, couples…..specific queries or newbie general “I just want a sex toy” questions, I get them all.

And you know what? I genuinely like doing it. Unless of course the asker gets too personal and creepy – I’m basically your sales associate….not your sex surrogate. Overall though most are nice and respectful requests. I don’t just rattle off a few typical suggestions, though. I gather the data about the person/couple using the items and I  go digging. I love doing this for people, because I like helping and sharing what I’ve learned, but it’s not a quick process so it’s really nice when they go buy the products I recommended via my affiliate links.

Today’s Ask Lilly segment is a recommendation list for a couple who have never used toys before. This particular couple is a cis man and cis woman.

The Details:

She: doesn’t orgasm clitorally very well from fingers or tongue and (much like I used to be) tends to have her hubby go for g-spot play during sex. Is probably curious about vibrators for both areas

He: is also looking for a toy to initiate himself with. What good is finding your prostate if you don’t have the right tools to make it happy?

They: are looking for items that can be used together, or for just her on her own. Willing to try a few things out in the first go and spend a little more for better products, but without buying only luxury items. They are trying to increase her pleasure level overall and get away from the frustration they both feel when she doesn’t orgasm.

G-Spot Recommendations:

1.  Doc Johnson Tru Curve – This is from Doc’s line of dual-density silicone – firm core, squishy outer layer. The angled head will hit the g-spot but won’t be too firm.
2.  Prism V – Amazing g-spot curve, firm pressure, phenomenal vibrations and a good price point. I LOVE the Prism V. 
3.   Njoy Pure Wand  is my holy grail, and works for a lot of people.

Clitoral Recommendations:

It’s hard to tell if her preference for g-spot play and inability to have a clit orgasm is because she needs a level of clit stim that fingers and tongues can’t provide, or she’s so overly-sensitive that their attempts are sensory-overload for her. Either way, I’m going for the lower-pitched vibrators because they’re more universally liked. It’s also hard to know if someone prefers pinpoint or broad stimulation. This list will give a little something for everything, and stay right around or under $50.

1.  Fun Factory Layaspot – This is in case she can’t handle the more powerful vibrations. It has the right pitch and many levels of vibration intensity. It can be intense enough, it’s gotten *me* off, but it’s a diffused sort of vibration, rather than the pinpoint that a bullet can be.
2.  Doc Johnson Black Magic Bullet – I think that this bullet has the right mixture of being nice to look at, fairly well made, and powerful at the right vibration pitch level. 
3.  Vibratex Mystic Wand – This provides rumbly power that isn’t as overwhelming or itchy as the Magic Wand, but works for those who like broad stimulation. Don’t bother with the rechargeable version, though.

Prostate Recommendations:

Prostate toys can be used solo or in couple play. Masturbation, blow jobs, even sex – having something in your butt pressing on your prostate will make your toes curl and your whole body sing.

1. Jopen Lust L13 – Fairly powerful vibrations in the blobby-shaped design that seems to hug the prostate.
2. The Mood Naughty set – This is an affordable introduction to the blobby-shaped prostate design; it doesn’t vibrate, and instead you need to really clench your butt PC muscles to get it to work, but that clenching happens naturally during sex.
3. Tantus Prostate Play – This can vibrate, or not, it’s up to you. It’s a good size and a little bigger for more intermediate players.