Hot Fat Girl Revolution
I’m sure that the majority of my readers don’t qualify for this, being not a girl or not fat. But I think some of you might appreciate this. I urge you to re-post this (include that link to the original author’s article, plzthx) AND and and and! Most Important! Take a deep breath and take a sexy photo of yourself. Something like mine up there. Don’t hide behind massive cropping for this, but feel free to do what you need to feel sexy. That picture there? More deleted attempts than I care to admit before I got a good shot – and it’s taking a big deep courageous breath to hit the Publish button. If you want help, email me. If you do this, let me know and I’ll put a link up to your post at the end of this one. Come on, don’t leave me hangin here ladies, join me in being a Hot Fat Girl! The rest of you folks can support us and cheer us on.
This Hot Fat Girl Revolution is not my idea, I found this article and the manifesto that Zoe wrote for herself and all Hot Fat Girls. Go read the article in it’s entirety, it gives some background on why Zoe wrote this.
I underlined the parts that really resonated with me personally. Right now I’m trying to find clothes for the Calendar launch party in NYC in a month. While I’m sure very few will pay as much attention to what I’m wearing as I think they will, I still need to *feel* sexy and like I belong in NYC (rather than the sticks of Nowheresville). And finding appropriate clothes has been DAMN hard. I resorted to doing my shopping online. That’s pretty hit-or-miss; moreso when the trendier sexy pieces are “Jr Plus” for the younger girls and a 1x in Jr Plus is about two sizes smaller than a 1x in the rest of plus-size world. I got my top, which is sleeveless, and it’s pretty good albeit shedding glitter like Tinkerbell. I’d prefer it to be a little roomier in the tummy, but that’s what Spanx is for. Since it’s sleeveless I got a shrug/bolero thingie to go over, but it’s too plain and too short in the back. It’ll be going back and I’ll need to find another one more appropriate. I’ve got fingers and toes crossed that the skirt and crinoline petticoat are arriving soon and, more importantly, will fit.
I have to shop online because nearly all brick-and-mortar stores have a teeny tiny (ironic, no?) plus-size section. Maybe 1/10th the clothing as “regular” size, if we’re lucky. Which is damn ridiculous seeing as how nearly 2/3 of American women have a BMI of over 25 (that starts the “overweight/obese” ranking) and 1/2 of those women are into the “obese” category with a BMI of over 30. Now, I don’t know what clothing sizes that correlates to for the “overweight” category but I do know that obese=plus-size. So why are we treated like lepers in most clothing/department stores?
I am trying my best to say “Just because I’m fat doesn’t exclude me from being sexy”, I’m not being an advocate for each and every bullet point below because I didn’t write it. If you take issue with it, go take issue to the author of the list.
By Zoe Whittall (for shamelessmag.com)
BECAUSE being a hot fat girl is a lot of work and is undervalued or unrecognized.
Because a fat girl still has to pay more money for uglier clothes or spend 11 hours at the thrift store to find anything hot to wear.
Because if you take the elevator people think you’re lazy but if you’re on the treadmill people laugh.
Because men like John Goodman and Bernie Mac get to have careers on television but most sitcom moms of three still have size-two waists.
Because even feminist magazines publish fat-phobic articles under the guise of it being a “health issue.”
Because anti-capitalist activists still use expressions like “fat capitalist pig.”
Because girls are dieting at the age of nine.
Because side effects of the most popular diet drugs are seizures, heart failure, fecal urgency, breast cancer, lung disease, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, dangerously high blood pressure, abnormal heartbeat, psychosis, strokes, hallucinations and sudden death.
Because the Cooper Institute’s ongoing study of 30,000 people has found that those who are fittest live the longest, no matter what they weigh.
Because the doctor who said that there were 30,000 “obesity-related” deaths each year received over $2 million in research funding from Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers.
Because that study prompted the FDA to approve Phen-Phen and Redux.
Because fat hatred is a money-making industry.
Because fat people who exercise live longer than thin people who don’t.
Because if you lose weight ’cause you’re sick people tell you how great you look.
Because hatred is so ingrained in every single one of us, especially inside the heart of even the hottest fat girl.
Because even the most progressive people don’t talk or write about it.
Because I am tired of being ignored, invisible, de-sexualized and told that I have such a pretty face.
Because it’s not fat that kills, it’s fear of fat.**
For all that and more I am a part of the HOT FAT GIRL REVOLUTION!
Feel free to use this sidebar banner on your blog and link back to this post or your post to show that you’re in the Hot Fat Girl Revolution! If you are just a supporter of us Hot Fat Girls you can use it too and link back to this post.
Yay, the first fellow Hot Fat Girl has joined me :) Go say hello to Lilikka!
Ashley has posted some pics and put in her thoughts, please go visit her!
For a really good read on the first point in that list up there from a hot girl who’s blog is all about being a hot fat girl, please go read Shannon’s thoughts
My good friend, BadBadGirl, put up her Hot Fat Girl photo – the one that boosts her confidence and spirits on bad days
Dani has joined in and posted her Hot Fat Girl photo and thoughts!
Vanilla Kinks has put up her photo and post, please go show her some love! She’s busting myths that seem to follow all fat people around like a dark cloud.
Sexaholic BBW finally got her butt around to participating and posting a photo, hehe. Go check her out!
Now I know that “fat” isn’t the only category of women who have a hard time. The other end of the scale does, too. So if you’re a Hot Skinny Girl and want to write a similar manifesto, please do! And let me know about it!
Visit Amy to read about the Hot Skinny Girl side of the coin
EDIT: Thanks to Mr. Common Sense from Illinois, I now have to completely fuck up the flow and aura of this post and what it is supposed to represent. There are ALOT of very valid points up there in that list but Mr. Common Sense chose to start a goddamn debate on a post asking for SUPPORT. If you’d like to further debate the 1 point out of nearly 20 that Zoe wrote, whether you’re in agreement with or disagreement with Mr. Hijacker, that’s a debate for another time, another post and who knows maybe even another blog. But most definitely not this post, ok? My house, my rules. “Public” blog or not.
**I don’t fully agree with every single reason listed and I will say that this one deserves a caveat. Yes, fat can kill. Excessive fat can be very unhealthy and exacerbate other diseases that kill. But fat alone doesn’t necessarily always kill. Fat does not always equal unhealthy. Fat does not always equal healthy. This is all I will say on the matter, and I expect you to respect it and do the same.
Big Damn Fat Girl Hugs. Because you know how damn hard it is to find something you do feel sexy in. Yes I will work on my courage to do this with you. First I have to find something that makes me feel sexy. Because you look damn sexy!
~ Thanks dear! Hey I wouldn’t say that what I have on there makes me feel sexy, but I knew I could work with it, and it wasn’t so baggy that it would hide me or make me look even bigger. Try soon! I’ll keep bugging you :)
You really inspired me to post a picture of my own on my blog. Thank you for that, it was one of the most liberating things I’ve ever done for myself!
I’m making plans to take the time and take some photos tomorrow. Hopefully I will get at least 1 good one :)
~Awesome! I’ll bug you now till you post it, for your own good :P Remember, if you need help with the photos in choosing or tidying up, turning to black and white, whatever…..just email me.
I so love this! It turned me on in a serious way.
Completely inspiring. Not to mention you look so hot! I’ve always wanted to be part of a revolution – I’ll let you know when I post.
You look amazing in that picture. AMAZING.
I’m a naturally thin (read: skinny) woman. Always have been. And all my life, I’ve dealt with being asking if I was anorexic or telling me to eat a cheeseburger. Trying to “fatten me up.” Telling me that I needed “some meat on my bones.” And because of that, because I HATED being skinny and felt so bad about my body, I’ve always envied girls that look like you. You have the curves and the breasts and the hips and the womanly body that I will never have, no matter how much I eat or try. I covet your body, the way that many fat women have told me they covet mine.
~ Thank you, it’s important to hear all sides. And yeah, we always seem to want what we can ‘t have. It’s sad. thanks for being supportive, love.
Isn’t that funny how that works? We look at ourselves and hate what we see, yet covet that which we are not capable of having. Rock those curves, girl, because not all of us can look like you. And some of us are envious of the body you’ve been gifted with. <3
This is a totally ridiculous article and it almost makes me weep that it got published. There’s so much wrong with it, I don’t know where to begin.
Fat DOES kill. Period. Overweight people are much much more prone to a whole host of conditions and illnesses that non-overweight people are not.
This shouldn’t be a revolution. People will tend to naturally prefer a certain range of sizes because it indicates health, and when you get right down to it, everyone is looking for the best, healthiest mate to pass on genes with. This is not fat people.
Yeah, men like Bernie Mac and John Goodman get TV careers, but women like Giselle and Heidi Klum get the same money for looking like they do. Name 5 male supermodels? You don’t get it both ways.
It’s not about forcing yourself to feel sexy in the fat body you are in. Yes, there are definitely women who are bigger and are still sexy, and there are some people who prefer fat women.
However, spending so much time and effort on convincing yourself that you are and feel sexy even though you do not is idiotic. Why not put the effort into something productive like LOSING THE WEIGHT until you get to a point where you GENUINELY think you are sexy, despite the social norms?
Thank you Lilly for being so brave. Common sense, you may be right but learn some tact. I am a bit over weight for my small/medium frame, but I hate my small boobs, and the extra pounds.
Common Sense,
FAT does not kill people. Are there some health problems associated with being overweight that can cause death? Yes. But health problems kill thin people, too. Skinny does not equal healthy. You can not tell how healthy someone is by looking at their weight. A larger person may have perfectly healthy cholesterol, blood pressure, and exercise and be in good shape. A skinny person may be starving themselves to look that way and are much more unhealthy than the fat person. Because guess what? SKINNY kills people, too. It’s called anorexia.
Some people just naturally carry more weight. There’s a variety of body sizes for a reason. And you have no idea whether or not Lilly is healthy. You have no idea what her diet is like. I know for a fact she exercises. And you also have no idea if it’s possible for her to just LOSE THE WEIGHT. Not everyone is capable of doing that. Not everyone has a body that will allow them to be thin. Some people (and if you read here more, you would know more abou tthis) have health problems or physical issues that prevent them from losing weight or on medications that cause them to gain weight.
Everyone should feel sexy in the body they have becuase not everyone can, and not everyone should, have what the mainstream tells us is sexy. If you’d like to read more about that, Crystal Renn is a great person to read about. It IS about feeling sexy in the body you have. And this is Lilly’s blog. You can disagree with someone politely, but shaming them on their own blog is distasteful and unnecessary.
And I assume your “name,” comes from what you’re lacking.
Lilly, you’re fabulous.
You certainly are hot!
I’ve written about what it’s like to be a short hot girl on my blog
And I hope lots of people join in, and realise just how hot they are!
xxxxx
~ That’s awesome Amy, I don’t want this just to be about “fat girls”. It’s what I am so it’s the soapbox I can stand on.
I’m totally going to do this!
And Britni you totally rock!
You are just more evidence that sexy, I mean really sexy, comes in all different sizes!
Bravo to you for posting this!!!!
Okay, I had to come back….
Common sense does make a good point- there are very well documented health ramifications for being overweight and fat absolutely DOES kill. That does not mean that you should not love yourself for being who you are or that we think any more or less of you. But from a health standpoint, to bury one’s head in the sand and say that there is nothing wrong with being overweight is just foolish.
I think Britni is making a pretty weak excuse when she says that some people just can’t lose the weight. I have over a dozen years of professional experience that prove otherwise. You CAN lose the weight, if you want to. And if you’re happy how you are, good for you, and more power to you!!
You know how much I admire you Lilly, so I hope this doesn’t come across as an indictment of you somehow. It’s just that Britni’s comment suggesting that you’re powerless to change your body got me riled up.
Actually, Britni is absolutely correct here and “Common Sense” displays a huge amount of ignorance of reality. Conventional wisdom says “fat kills”, but in point of fact very few controlled scientific studies have found there to be huge increased health risks involved with being overweight. In fact, there are some benefits: overweight people are less likely to die from heart attacks than thin people. Let go of the idea that thin=healthy, as it is absolutely not borne out by research. Britni is also correct about some people being unable to lose weight: every body has a set point and some are higher than others. I suggest that everyone read some actual scientific literature, not diet books based on “common sense.” A lot of the time, the world does not operate in intuitive ways.
Regardless, all of this is beside the point of the original post: rock on, Dangerous Lilly!
Perfectly lovely shots; thanks for sharing them with us. I don’t qualify for this, but will spread the word.
— PB
~ thank you :)
Thank you for posting this! And that photo of you is beautiful.
Damn. This issue can be so polarizing and political.
I think that Common Sense and Hubman are missing an important point. Whether people can/can not lose weight is ridiculous to debate and invalidates the whole point.
I see this as being about freeing yourself from the vicious inner voices that repeatedly strip your sense of self-worth because of your current physical attributes. Being over weight can carry so much shame and self-loathing, day-in, day-out. Like many journeys, it’s the daily struggle that wears thin and grinds against the spirit.
Regardless of why the weight is there, how long it has been there or how long it will be there in the future, no one should be shamed or made to feel that their size makes them less worthy of acceptance and love – especially self-love.
Today is the only day you’ve got. Spread the love.
~ Thank you Raven. You’re absolutely right, debating is not for this post. I really appreciate your points here, they help especially today.
Sexy comes in all shapes and sizes. There are a number of excellent points being made in the article.
Great photo. Sexy. Ripe and delicious. Looks like I’ll be distracted a lot today.
Kudos to you for posting this. Show your beautiful self, others be damned.
You’re gorgeous, babe, as always.
It’s not a case of convincing yourself that you’re sexy when you’re not; it’s a case of holding onto the fact that you really are sexy when there are people _telling_ you you’re not. I get it.
Now, that said, I totally have the insane urge to motorboat ya. :) *giggle*
~ lol you’re too much, lady. thanks :)
The wonderful Essin’ Em recently wrote about receiving negativity for her size, so I’ll repeat what I said on her blog:
Modern society force-feeds us the idea that the only ‘acceptable’ and ‘healthy’ size for women to be is a weight that’s, quite frankly, unattainable or unhealthy.
It’s not healthy for women to aspire to be skinny like Nicole Richie or Lindsey Lohan. That’s not healthy – and it’s not sexy. Women are genetically designed to carry a few curves and men are genetically programmed to find larger women sexy and what modern society force-feeds us is unnatural.
And Britni and Toy Girl are right that many of the ‘reports’ people use to claim that not being within this ‘socially acceptable’ weight range are bunk. Women can be perfectly healthy (in fact, MORE healthy) if they weigh considerably more than what Jenny Craig, Cosmo and infommercials tell them they ‘should’ weigh.
In my view, the negativity Dangerous Lilly receives is pure and simple bigotry and ignorance. She’s not unhealthily overweight – she’s just not a stick figure like the fashion industry and TV tell us women ‘should’ be. I really admire her for doing this post, because she’s challenging the unhealthy and negative atmosphere that pressures women to aspire to be unnaturally thin.
The fat acceptance movement does AMAZING work in trying to stop society fetishizing skinny, unhealthy women and recognizing that women can be sexy and beautiful at whatever weight they’re NATURALLY meant to be (for Britni, skinny, for Dangerous Lilly, curvy.)
But there is a point at which curvy becomes fat and there is a point at which extra weight becomes unhealthy (and I don’t think that Dangerous Lilly is even CLOSE to that point. She looks YUMMY.)
When you’re actually talking about REAL obesity (not what society deems ‘fat’, since that’s normal – but REAL weight problems) it’s fair to point out that the added weight is unhealthy.
So HubMan does have a point, even if it’s clumsily made. We shouldn’t have a movement to make unhealthy obesity socially acceptable any more than we should have movements that make drug abuse, alcoholism or smoking socially acceptable.
But that’s not the point of Dangerous Lilly’s post. She’s just arguing that she’s bigger than what TV and the fashion magazines say is ‘sexy’, but she’s out there to prove them wrong.
And from the photo above, she’s doing a terrific job. You go girl.
~ Thanks. While I could be closing in on unhealthy, thus far my excess weight has not in any way brought on any help problems. The joint issues, the fibromyalgia issues, were all just as strong when I was within “fit” BMI range as it is now.
THAT’S WHAT I’M F’IN TALKIN’ ABOUT!!! Yeah I love it that your doing this especially after recent post where the more self conscience side of you was revealed. I don’t think you know how many readers and fans you have; who admire your body, ability to write, frankness about your joy for sex and the great spirit that emanates from your site. Enjoy this journey.
~ Perhaps I do not know, but your comment is lovely and made me smile. Just as one can see the bottom of the well, one can see the light at the top, too. I’m trying to grasp that more positive and confident mindset and carry on.
Oh yeah greatglam.com has great plus size sexy clothes.
Lilly,
You are a beautiful woman with a gorgeous body. As someone who has been considered “fat” at certain points in my life, I agree about the issues of which you speak. I hated only being able to shop in certain places. I hated that the clothes were not on par with the skinny girls. Like the non-skinny aren’t invited to events? Oh, and don’t even get me started on sizes for women and how they vary depending on who makes what and what aisle they are in.
Great post by a sexy woman!
~Emmy
Kudos to you for pushing “publish” and putting yourself out there, the true you. It demands and receives so much respect.
~Dewey
~ Thank you Dewey, that means a lot
“Because side effects of the most popular diet drugs are seizures, heart failure, fecal urgency, breast cancer, lung disease, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, dangerously high blood pressure, abnormal heartbeat, psychosis, strokes, hallucinations and sudden death.”
Diet pills are never going to be the best, safest, or most effective, long-term way to lose weight.
Anyway, the only thing I really want to say is that you can be unhealthy whether you are skinny or fat. The best thing for all people of all sizes to do is to eat a healthy, well-balanced meal, drink less caffeinated, less sugary drinks, and exercise for 30 minutes a day 3-5 days a week. If you are doing all those things, then you will either lose weight, gain weight, or stay the same (this doesn’t take into account people that may have some type of disorder that keeps them from gaining or losing weight, i.e. type 1 diabetes, hypo or hyperthyroidism, ect.)
Lily, if you love your body, then that’s awesome. I’m naturally thin and probably more insecure than I really need to be. It’s ridiculous when people put down other people for being overweight by saying, “oh, it’s so unhealthy!” Most people do something that is not healthy for them, whether it’s drink too much, smoke, don’t get enough sleep…whatever, you get the point.
~ I’m not saying I’m totally in love with my body the way it is. But I’m trying to accept that others see me as sexy and I’m getting back to feeling sexy even though I am “fat”. I’m trying to embrace the “I’m sexy” as opposed to the “I’d be sexy if I lost weight”.
I posted my FIRST EVER picture on my blog just because of this blog entry. Go check it out!
Lily, be nice to yourself. You weigh what you weigh, and by appearances you carry your weight well. Certainly, _I_ find you sexy.
Your weight, whatever it is, is your business and your business alone. Any man who refuses to love a large woman because of her weight, never DID really love her. Love is accepting; coercion and domination are not love. Love yourself for what you are.
The 65-year old man visits the doctor and asks “Will I live to 100?” The doctor asked him, “Do you drink alcohol?”
“No”, the patient replied.
“Smoke cigars?” asks the doc.
“No” was the reply again.
“Do you use drugs? Chase women?”
“No, doctor, I do not!”
“Do you enjoy good food, meat, and fish?” asks the doctor.
“No, doctor, I am a vegetarian and I eat sparingly.”
“Well, then, why the hell do you want to live for another 35 years?”
If you ENJOY your life, then your weight – whatever it is – isn’t a problem. When your weight begins to affect your enjoyment of your life, then it’s time to make some changes. But that’s YOUR decision to make, no one else’s.
I’m not jumping on the do this then do that bandwagon. We are what we are. Losing weight is not easy. BTDT many times.
Here is my VIP/wag (Very Important Philosophy, with a grin): Eat right. Exercise. Die anyway.
Okay, I’m being fascious…and not, too. We will all be gone someday. So that being what it is, I think we need to celebrate who we are. To love and cherish the bodies we have. Strive to improve, just a bit, each day. But first rule of life is this: Love You. Because then you can love…everyone else.
(Nilla gets down, picks up her soap box, and wanders away….time to go see more HNT pics….)
(btw…nilla is short, old, postmenopausal, and overweight but also has lost about 1/2 of the weight she needs to in this last year by “undieting”….no worries, man!)
Hotness extraordinaire!! Fat, maybe. So what? It is the hotness first and foremost, between your ears, but also in that mighty fine body. Sorry about the dipshit that is causing you to have to moderate comments.
Tell you what: I’ll take BBW and sexy over 36-24-36 and bitchy any day!
As with previous comments, sexy is a mindset and an attitude. Has little to nothing to do with physical attributes.
NO ONE should be shamed or made to feel that their size makes them less worthy of acceptance and love … well fucking said. I’ve been thin and I’ve been fat and I’ve been thin again you know what … there’s a lot of shallow people out there I found through personal experience that view people’s figures as the ‘whole’ of a person.
I learnt a hell of a lot about who were genuine people in my life that could see past my weight gain and understand what I was dealing with on a daily basis and the people who supported and loved me for who I am, not what I looked like then or now.
I’m standing on my little soapbox and cheering from the rooftops for this post!!!
As for Mista Common Sense I see not one iota of common sense in that comment. I see a hell of a lot more things that disgust me.
Thank you Lilly. xxx
You’re so fucking sexy! I love how dominant and feminine you look here. Those jugs looks amazing.
~ lol thanks, but uh…..don’t call them jugs :P
My friend Chris sent me over here, raving about how freaking awesome this post was. He said I had to see it, and I’m glad I did. I’m fat, I exercise, I try to eat right, and while my body could use some improvements, one thing I am not is ashamed of it. This post is a beautiful boost of confidence for the larger ladies. :)
~ Well I’m not sure who Chris is, but thank him for me! I’m glad you commented, it’s nice to hear. If you decide to do a post of your own, please let me know!
I just added the banner to my blog :)
Dangerous Gorgeous Lily – HAWT pic!! That Imp linked ya and I just wanted to say waahoooo! Good for you in being courageous and publishing – it’s good to see. :)
~ Hi and thank you Molten!
Lily,
You look fucking fabulous and I am happy to see you embracing yourself and finding that inner sexiness that radiates from who you are and not just what size you are.
That said, and I’m only speaking for myself, I know being this 25 pounds overweight that I am, I feel like crap. I love myself, yes. I still feel sexy, yes. But I also feel unhealthy, often lethargic and not entirely myself. I really want the energy back that I had when I was at a proper weight.
People can be unhealthy at any size. It’s all about balance. Isn’t it always about balance?
Hugs
Tess
~ It is about balance. While I am definitely not saying that I suddenly love my body and no longer desire to lose weight, I’m not letting the weight dictate my sexiness. Because it’s not ALL about looks, the fat didn’t smother my brain, lol.
You are gorgeous. Sexy. Beautiful.
Period.
EE
PS: YUMMY too!!!
If you ask me, and you didn’t, but you did publish this so I’m assuming you want opinions… I’d take you over any skinny assed woman any day. Skinny woman look like young boys. I prefer a woman with curves… just like you. I could easily cover you in edible body oil from your neck to your toes and use you as my own personal slip N slide. ;)
All the best,
John
Wow u like my wife, rock on girl.